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1
00:00:08,344 --> 00:00:12,458
[Christmas music]
2
00:00:15,477 --> 00:00:20,063
I say there, boy.
What time is it?
3
00:00:20,149 --> 00:00:25,028
- Why, sir, it's 4:20.
- Nice.
4
00:00:25,175 --> 00:00:26,699
[bubbles]
5
00:00:27,372 --> 00:00:29,240
[techno music]
6
00:00:30,361 --> 00:00:33,227
2x10 - Steve's Family
7
00:00:33,709 --> 00:00:35,265
[phone ringing]
8
00:00:35,266 --> 00:00:38,378
Happy Holidays. This is TripTank.
9
00:00:38,464 --> 00:00:41,915
- Hello, Steven. It's your mama.
- Oh. Hey, Mom.
10
00:00:42,001 --> 00:00:45,385
I just wanted to say that I
am so so sorry for what happened.
11
00:00:45,471 --> 00:00:48,088
- I'd really rather not get into it.
- But you know it's not my fault.
12
00:00:48,174 --> 00:00:50,474
When you see your father's sock
on the bathroom door handle,
13
00:00:50,593 --> 00:00:53,031
that means don't come in!
Ocupado!
14
00:00:53,066 --> 00:00:54,761
People getting
freaky in the bathroom.
15
00:00:54,897 --> 00:00:56,480
I-I know, I-I
shouldn't have come in.
16
00:00:56,599 --> 00:00:59,266
Your mother and your father
are human beings, Steve.
17
00:00:59,351 --> 00:01:01,018
Sex is only natural.
18
00:01:01,103 --> 00:01:04,154
Even when it's unnatural
your mama's got to have it.
19
00:01:04,273 --> 00:01:05,606
Oh, TMI, Mom.
20
00:01:05,741 --> 00:01:08,609
You may not know this, but
your father is insatiable.
21
00:01:08,694 --> 00:01:11,361
He might be all business
in the boardroom,
22
00:01:11,447 --> 00:01:13,197
but he is a freak in the sheets.
23
00:01:13,282 --> 00:01:16,367
- Oh, God, no. Make it stop.
- Just thinking about your
24
00:01:16,467 --> 00:01:19,753
father's sexual appetite
is making my nipples hard.
25
00:01:19,839 --> 00:01:23,007
Ooh, that reminds me, it's
getting chilly at night, so make
26
00:01:23,008 --> 00:01:26,176
sure you wear a coat. Mama
don't want you catching cold.
27
00:01:26,295 --> 00:01:28,295
- Can we please get off the phone now?
- Ha! Bye, baby.
28
00:01:28,380 --> 00:01:31,548
Oh, God, my family is
such a pain in the ass.
29
00:01:31,634 --> 00:01:34,091
Good news is, I got the stain out.
30
00:01:35,604 --> 00:01:37,020
What the hell's going on over there?
31
00:01:37,139 --> 00:01:39,640
Gary threw a holiday party
and he didn't invite us?
32
00:01:39,725 --> 00:01:40,941
- What a prick!
- Yeah!
33
00:01:41,026 --> 00:01:42,392
Why didn't we get to go
to his lame-ass party?
34
00:01:42,478 --> 00:01:44,361
Well, it's for his
lupus support group, so...
35
00:01:44,480 --> 00:01:47,231
Here we go again
with Gary and his "lupus!"
36
00:01:47,316 --> 00:01:50,651
- Always lording it over us.
- Oh, look at me, I got lupus.
37
00:01:50,736 --> 00:01:52,953
I'm so special, let's throw a party.
38
00:01:53,038 --> 00:01:55,489
- I know what we have to do.
- Yeah, we got to get lupus.
39
00:01:55,574 --> 00:01:59,243
- No, Matt! We gotta get revenge!
- Exactly what I was thinking.
40
00:01:59,328 --> 00:02:03,463
- And this time, we do it prank-style.
- Oh! I've got it!
41
00:02:03,549 --> 00:02:08,101
Ultimate revenge in three, two...
[doorbell rings]
42
00:02:08,203 --> 00:02:09,570
Hot soup coming through.
43
00:02:09,672 --> 00:02:11,505
What's going on here?
I didn't order any catering.
44
00:02:11,607 --> 00:02:13,358
Don't worry about it.
It's a gift from your
45
00:02:13,359 --> 00:02:15,142
- ex-wife or something.
- Well, that's surprising.
46
00:02:15,244 --> 00:02:18,011
Last time we spoke, Barbara said
some pretty hurtful things.
47
00:02:18,113 --> 00:02:18,979
Yeah, whatever, dummy.
We'll be in the kitchen
48
00:02:19,081 --> 00:02:22,163
- making food and shit.
- Well, that sounds wonderful.
49
00:02:22,198 --> 00:02:23,717
Wonderful, my shrimp-fingers
are curing nicely.
50
00:02:23,819 --> 00:02:26,353
Andy, Dana, where are we
on the mini quich-aridas?
51
00:02:26,455 --> 00:02:28,155
Come on, guys! Get these
canapes out on the floor.
52
00:02:28,257 --> 00:02:30,757
- Yes, Chef.
- Right away, Chef.
53
00:02:30,859 --> 00:02:32,659
Ah, damn it.
My hollandaise is breaking.
54
00:02:32,761 --> 00:02:34,661
So when Donnie gets out of
school for the holiday break,
55
00:02:34,763 --> 00:02:36,763
I think I'm finally going
to take him snow shoeing.
56
00:02:36,865 --> 00:02:41,034
Boring! Who would like some
delicious shrimp fingers?
57
00:02:41,120 --> 00:02:43,870
- Don't mind if I...
- Not so fast, big boy.
58
00:02:44,006 --> 00:02:46,206
There ain't nothing shrimpy
about your fat fingers.
59
00:02:46,292 --> 00:02:49,543
- This lady knows what I'm talking about.
- Hey, who decorated this dump?
60
00:02:49,678 --> 00:02:51,762
You know, old, uh, what's her name.
61
00:02:51,880 --> 00:02:54,598
Uh, shit, what was her name?
Damn it!
62
00:02:54,717 --> 00:02:57,601
Who wants
farm-to-table porkrolls?
63
00:02:57,720 --> 00:02:59,519
- I do.
- Oh, not you, porky.
64
00:02:59,605 --> 00:03:01,438
Oinky oinky oink! Up top!
65
00:03:01,557 --> 00:03:03,357
Helen Keller.
Helen Keller's the idiot
66
00:03:03,442 --> 00:03:05,641
- who decorated this place.
- Soup's up. [clinking glass]
67
00:03:05,676 --> 00:03:08,562
Excuse me, everybody.
I just want to say it's great
68
00:03:08,697 --> 00:03:11,982
- that you all could make it today...
- Here is a special bowl of soup
69
00:03:12,067 --> 00:03:14,901
- I poured just for you, Gary.
- Uh, okay.
70
00:03:14,987 --> 00:03:17,204
Now where was I?
Oh, yes, okay first of all
71
00:03:17,289 --> 00:03:22,459
I am happy to be celebrating
five years of flare-free lupus living.
72
00:03:22,578 --> 00:03:24,745
- Try the soup!
- Okay, in just a moment.
73
00:03:24,880 --> 00:03:26,296
- Eat the soup, jerk!
- Fine, okay.
74
00:03:26,415 --> 00:03:28,749
I guess I'll try some of the soup.
75
00:03:28,884 --> 00:03:31,418
[slurping]
Mmm. It's very good.
76
00:03:31,503 --> 00:03:33,003
I'd like to thank all of
you for coming and I know...
77
00:03:33,088 --> 00:03:35,589
Matt, what the hell? I thought
you were going to ruin his soup.
78
00:03:35,724 --> 00:03:38,642
I did!
It's completely under-salted.
79
00:03:38,761 --> 00:03:40,394
I gotta be honest, dude.
That's kind of a soft prank.
80
00:03:40,479 --> 00:03:43,941
Oh, well, I also put a shitload
of castor oil in the bowl.
81
00:03:44,066 --> 00:03:46,033
What the hell is castor oil gonna do?
82
00:03:46,135 --> 00:03:47,401
I'd like to give a
hearty thank you to...
83
00:03:47,503 --> 00:03:50,804
[vomits]
84
00:03:50,906 --> 00:03:53,607
- Enjoy the soup, Gary?
- Bla... What?
85
00:03:53,692 --> 00:03:57,444
- It's us, you moron!
- Dana, Andy, Matt? What is this?
86
00:03:57,529 --> 00:03:59,579
Just your classic
"dress up like caterers,
87
00:03:59,665 --> 00:04:01,448
serve a guy slightly under-salted soup
88
00:04:01,583 --> 00:04:03,950
spiked with castor oil,
right before he gives a speech
89
00:04:04,036 --> 00:04:06,703
at his five year flare-free
lupus anniversary party
90
00:04:06,789 --> 00:04:09,122
so he pukes all over
the table" revenge prank.
91
00:04:09,208 --> 00:04:11,662
Suck it, Gary! Whoo!
92
00:04:12,331 --> 00:04:15,629
- Wow. Another great prank.
- And a great bowl of soup.
93
00:04:15,764 --> 00:04:17,097
I don't think it's under-salted at all.
94
00:04:17,182 --> 00:04:20,172
Well, that's because you have
the palate of a five-year-old.
95
00:04:20,201 --> 00:04:23,501
? Suck it, Gary! ?
96
00:04:23,803 --> 00:04:26,830
[Christmas techno music]
97
00:04:31,130 --> 00:04:34,947
[mouse squeaking]
[heart beat]
98
00:04:38,170 --> 00:04:40,296
[gunshot]
99
00:04:40,297 --> 00:04:42,422
[metal music]
100
00:04:42,388 --> 00:04:46,175
Man: Not a creature was
stirring, not even a mouse.
101
00:04:46,642 --> 00:04:48,475
Do they even like potato salad?
102
00:04:48,561 --> 00:04:50,811
Oh, I should have just brought flowers.
103
00:04:50,896 --> 00:04:52,112
Or maybe mini-muffins.
104
00:04:52,231 --> 00:04:55,532
- Darn it! Why didn't I think of that?
- Honey, relax. Okay?
105
00:04:55,618 --> 00:05:00,364
Everyone likes potato salad,
and everyone loves you.
106
00:05:00,739 --> 00:05:04,074
- And I'm sure my parents will, too.
- I hope so.
107
00:05:04,160 --> 00:05:07,578
Um, just one thing I do
want to, uh... [chuckles]
108
00:05:07,663 --> 00:05:08,412
I do want to tell you in advance.
109
00:05:08,547 --> 00:05:11,215
- Okay.
- And you know what?
110
00:05:11,300 --> 00:05:14,251
You might not even notice, but, uh...
[doorbell rings]
111
00:05:14,386 --> 00:05:15,919
my parents are Juggalos.
112
00:05:16,005 --> 00:05:17,671
- Wait, what?
- Whoop whoop.
113
00:05:17,756 --> 00:05:19,089
- Oh!
- Hey!
114
00:05:19,175 --> 00:05:21,091
- Whoop whoop, Mom.
- Whoop whoop.
115
00:05:21,227 --> 00:05:24,928
- Hi, Dad.
- So, this is the new cotton candy.
116
00:05:25,014 --> 00:05:27,097
Oh. What a pleasant surprise.
117
00:05:27,233 --> 00:05:30,567
Yeah. Uh, Mom, Dad,
this is Stacy.
118
00:05:30,653 --> 00:05:32,903
Hi, I'm Stacy.
I brought some potato salad.
119
00:05:32,988 --> 00:05:37,774
- Oh, ho, clown love.
- Yeah, mad mother[bleep] clown love.
120
00:05:37,860 --> 00:05:40,194
Hope I don't nurdle in my drawers.
121
00:05:40,279 --> 00:05:42,079
[both laughing]
Craig, what is happening?
122
00:05:42,164 --> 00:05:45,491
- Well, don't be Richies, come on in.
- Oh, thank you.
123
00:05:45,492 --> 00:05:49,203
Coming right on in to this
interesting place. [chuckles]
124
00:05:49,288 --> 00:05:51,038
So I'm finishing my residency.
125
00:05:51,123 --> 00:05:55,092
It's my last day, and I never do this,
but I finally work up the nerve
126
00:05:55,177 --> 00:05:59,546
to walk up to the cute internist
I've been seeing around and I say...
127
00:05:59,632 --> 00:06:02,049
Both: Do you like Fro-yo?
[both laughing]
128
00:06:02,134 --> 00:06:04,134
- Well, that's fresh.
- Mad fresh.
129
00:06:04,220 --> 00:06:06,770
So Craig said you guys have
been doing some traveling?
130
00:06:06,856 --> 00:06:10,140
- Just got back from the Gathering.
- Uh, pardon?
131
00:06:10,226 --> 00:06:11,808
Gathering of the Juggalos.
132
00:06:11,894 --> 00:06:14,194
Four days of celebrating
the Dark Carnival.
133
00:06:14,313 --> 00:06:17,614
Oh, yes, of course.
Um, how was it?
134
00:06:17,700 --> 00:06:21,485
Oh, yeah, Stacy, it was a trip
on the wagon to Shangri-La.
135
00:06:21,570 --> 00:06:22,786
- It really was.
- Huh.
136
00:06:22,872 --> 00:06:25,372
We met some of the most
pimp ass ninjas around.
137
00:06:25,491 --> 00:06:26,540
I mean some real murder clowns.
138
00:06:26,659 --> 00:06:29,293
Yeah, and you know
who we saw there, Craig?
139
00:06:29,378 --> 00:06:30,994
The Homie Dead Cyrus Tha Killa.
140
00:06:31,080 --> 00:06:34,665
- And he sends much clown love.
- Oh, how is Dead Cyrus?
141
00:06:34,800 --> 00:06:38,335
- Dead Cyrus Tha Killa is my godfather.
- Oh, fantastic.
142
00:06:38,470 --> 00:06:41,505
- Oh, Dead Cyrus is pretty stale.
- Oh, no, I'm sorry to hear that.
143
00:06:41,640 --> 00:06:43,484
- What's up?
- Yeah. He was having pain in
144
00:06:43,526 --> 00:06:45,685
his popsicle when he
tried to Nutt, and the
145
00:06:45,686 --> 00:06:47,844
doctor told him he had
cancer in his nizzos.
146
00:06:47,980 --> 00:06:50,230
- Oh, no.
- Oh, TMI.
147
00:06:50,349 --> 00:06:51,515
Yeah, unfortunately,
it spread to his nugbone
148
00:06:51,650 --> 00:06:52,683
and then to his bowling ball.
149
00:06:52,768 --> 00:06:55,519
Is... Is he pursuing
a course of treatment?
150
00:06:55,604 --> 00:06:57,738
Oh, yeah. He's smoking
a lot of mad trees
151
00:06:57,856 --> 00:07:00,440
- and he's swimming a lot.
- He swam in Hep Lake.
152
00:07:00,526 --> 00:07:01,825
[chuckles] Whoop whoop.
153
00:07:01,911 --> 00:07:04,340
Yeah, in Hepatitis Lake.
20 laps a day.
154
00:07:04,375 --> 00:07:07,664
He actually looks phat,
despite the circumstances.
155
00:07:07,750 --> 00:07:10,334
Good. If he needs a
referral for an oncologist...
156
00:07:10,419 --> 00:07:13,203
Well, anyway, enough of that voodoo.
157
00:07:13,289 --> 00:07:14,865
Stacy, is, uh, your
set from New England?
158
00:07:14,900 --> 00:07:16,540
- My set?
- Your family.
159
00:07:16,675 --> 00:07:18,425
Oh, yeah. My dad is a dentist.
160
00:07:18,544 --> 00:07:20,877
I bet he stays fixing
crunked grilles, huh?
161
00:07:20,963 --> 00:07:25,549
I-I think so.
Um, but my mom is a veterinarian.
162
00:07:25,684 --> 00:07:28,268
Oh. And are your folks
down with the clown?
163
00:07:28,387 --> 00:07:31,471
I don't think that they are. No.
164
00:07:31,557 --> 00:07:36,193
Well, forks up, forks down.
Mad wicked clown love for all.
165
00:07:36,278 --> 00:07:37,477
Oh! Although kind of a funny story,
166
00:07:37,563 --> 00:07:41,481
my parents actually met
at a Grateful Dead show.
167
00:07:41,567 --> 00:07:45,068
[chuckles] So I guess it's safe
to call them Deadheads.
168
00:07:45,204 --> 00:07:47,070
[chuckles]
169
00:07:47,156 --> 00:07:48,822
That's [bleep] disgusting.
170
00:07:48,907 --> 00:07:50,415
You need to get the
[bleep] out of our house.
171
00:07:50,450 --> 00:07:53,801
[Christmas techno music]
172
00:07:56,627 --> 00:08:00,247
[Christmas techno music]
173
00:08:03,100 --> 00:08:05,934
Wake up! On the truck.
174
00:08:09,190 --> 00:08:11,523
Out!
175
00:08:15,329 --> 00:08:20,201
[thuding]
[muffled screaming]
176
00:08:22,036 --> 00:08:24,753
[Christmas techno music]
177
00:08:26,090 --> 00:08:29,592
[whistling] Uh-huh.
Right. Oh, I see.
178
00:08:29,694 --> 00:08:31,694
- What are you doing, Roy?
- Oh, this?
179
00:08:31,796 --> 00:08:34,997
I'm learning French.
I got me those new Bezoar Stone CDs
180
00:08:35,099 --> 00:08:36,165
from my Secret Santa.
181
00:08:36,267 --> 00:08:37,766
- Oh, really?
- Yeah, check it out.
182
00:08:37,868 --> 00:08:44,773
[speaking French] _
183
00:08:44,875 --> 00:08:45,975
[phone ringing]
184
00:08:46,077 --> 00:08:47,843
- Allo, TripTank.
- Hey, hey, buddy.
185
00:08:47,945 --> 00:08:48,877
Hi, Uncle Ben.
186
00:08:48,980 --> 00:08:51,113
Yeah, it's your
favorite uncle, Uncle Ben.
187
00:08:51,215 --> 00:08:52,648
I know. Hi.
Do you need something?
188
00:08:52,750 --> 00:08:53,916
No, buddy, no. I don't need a...
189
00:08:54,018 --> 00:08:56,051
Can't your favorite uncle
call you out of the blue
190
00:08:56,153 --> 00:08:59,117
- just to say "hey"?
- Yeah, I-I guess you could. I'm s...
191
00:08:59,152 --> 00:09:01,991
While I got you on the phone, buddy,
I need a teensy little favor.
192
00:09:02,093 --> 00:09:04,627
I need to borrow the password
for your Gmail account.
193
00:09:04,729 --> 00:09:05,894
And also, when you get a second, buddy,
194
00:09:05,997 --> 00:09:08,497
could you swing by my
place and walk my dogs?
195
00:09:08,599 --> 00:09:12,234
Just be seen in public with my dogs.
I need to borrow your car,
196
00:09:12,336 --> 00:09:14,436
I need to borrow a set
of your clothes too.
197
00:09:14,538 --> 00:09:16,105
Just something you wear
all the time, buddy.
198
00:09:16,207 --> 00:09:20,309
No big deal. And then later today,
I will potentially need two,
199
00:09:20,411 --> 00:09:25,014
or perhaps three pints of your blood.
That's no big deal, right, buddy?
200
00:09:25,116 --> 00:09:27,316
And could I borrow $347 please, buddy?
201
00:09:27,418 --> 00:09:29,285
I can't do all that stuff.
I have a job.
202
00:09:29,387 --> 00:09:31,120
You're right. Better
make it an even four hundo.
203
00:09:31,222 --> 00:09:32,187
How about this?
You give me three pints
204
00:09:32,290 --> 00:09:34,089
of blood, 400 cash,
and we'll call it even.
205
00:09:34,191 --> 00:09:35,524
- That sound good?
- Ugh.
206
00:09:35,626 --> 00:09:37,626
Is there also any chance
you own a gun, buddy?
207
00:09:37,728 --> 00:09:39,295
[quacking]
208
00:09:41,465 --> 00:09:42,731
[snorting]
209
00:09:44,001 --> 00:09:45,634
[phone chiming]
210
00:09:46,604 --> 00:09:50,939
- Hey. Time for Versus.
- Versus.
211
00:09:51,042 --> 00:09:52,541
[sniper rifle firing]
212
00:09:55,379 --> 00:09:58,314
[gurgling]
213
00:10:03,387 --> 00:10:04,303
[gurgling]
214
00:10:08,142 --> 00:10:09,475
[snarling]
215
00:10:14,065 --> 00:10:17,066
[all snarling]
216
00:10:19,170 --> 00:10:20,736
[sniffing]
217
00:10:20,838 --> 00:10:26,209
[laughing]
[music]
218
00:10:27,294 --> 00:10:29,328
[laughing]
219
00:10:31,248 --> 00:10:32,748
[panting]
220
00:10:32,883 --> 00:10:35,834
[grunting]
221
00:10:35,920 --> 00:10:37,419
[all howling]
222
00:10:43,177 --> 00:10:45,994
[mumbling]
223
00:10:46,097 --> 00:10:47,696
[curious grunting]
224
00:10:49,200 --> 00:10:50,666
[curious grunting]
[music]
225
00:10:56,140 --> 00:10:58,140
[whimpering]
226
00:10:58,242 --> 00:11:01,143
[sad grunting]
227
00:11:04,014 --> 00:11:10,119
[ravenous grunting]
228
00:11:10,221 --> 00:11:14,707
[grunting]
229
00:11:14,792 --> 00:11:15,791
[sniffing]
230
00:11:15,926 --> 00:11:18,010
[grunting]
231
00:11:18,129 --> 00:11:20,262
[glass shattering]
232
00:11:20,347 --> 00:11:24,066
[grunting]
233
00:11:24,168 --> 00:11:26,135
[chuckles] I use fork!
234
00:11:26,220 --> 00:11:27,686
[chuckles]
235
00:11:31,192 --> 00:11:32,391
Da, da, da, da.
236
00:11:32,476 --> 00:11:34,076
[chuckles]
237
00:11:34,178 --> 00:11:35,194
Um...
[chuckles]
238
00:11:35,312 --> 00:11:38,814
Love me now?
[chuckles]
239
00:11:38,949 --> 00:11:41,817
[applause]
240
00:11:41,902 --> 00:11:42,868
[howling]
241
00:11:42,987 --> 00:11:45,204
Do you, Wolf Man, take Nancy?
242
00:11:45,322 --> 00:11:49,208
I do. Wolf Man love Nancy.
243
00:11:49,326 --> 00:11:52,294
[grunting]
244
00:11:52,379 --> 00:11:54,730
Wolf son! [chuckles]
245
00:11:57,535 --> 00:11:59,668
Have a good day at work, Daddy.
246
00:11:59,770 --> 00:12:03,472
[howling]
[clicking]
247
00:12:03,557 --> 00:12:06,442
[Christmas music]
248
00:12:06,544 --> 00:12:08,410
[glass shattering]
249
00:12:08,512 --> 00:12:11,947
Oh.
250
00:12:12,049 --> 00:12:14,783
Honey? [gasps]
251
00:12:14,885 --> 00:12:17,152
Oh.
252
00:12:17,238 --> 00:12:18,053
Honey?
253
00:12:18,155 --> 00:12:25,961
[grunting]
254
00:12:26,063 --> 00:12:31,667
[grunting]
255
00:12:31,769 --> 00:12:33,235
Oh, God! Oh, my God!
256
00:12:33,337 --> 00:12:34,169
Oh, God! Oh, Nancy!
257
00:12:34,271 --> 00:12:37,940
I-I... look, it's not... ah!
258
00:12:38,042 --> 00:12:40,928
Aww, [bleep] it.
[howling]
259
00:12:41,412 --> 00:12:43,512
Ahem. [chuckles]
260
00:12:43,614 --> 00:12:45,080
Winner...
261
00:12:45,182 --> 00:12:46,515
Not Nancy.
262
00:12:46,617 --> 00:12:49,084
[groaning]
263
00:12:49,186 --> 00:12:52,054
[upbeat music]
264
00:12:53,357 --> 00:12:57,109
Oh, ah.
[laughing]
265
00:12:57,228 --> 00:12:58,277
Oh.
266
00:12:58,395 --> 00:13:00,612
[grunting]
[laughing]
267
00:13:00,731 --> 00:13:02,781
Oh!
[laughing]
268
00:13:02,900 --> 00:13:05,150
[mumbling]
269
00:13:05,236 --> 00:13:07,236
Hmm.
270
00:13:07,321 --> 00:13:08,203
[phone trilling]
271
00:13:08,289 --> 00:13:11,874
[phone ringing]
272
00:13:11,959 --> 00:13:13,659
Hm?
273
00:13:13,744 --> 00:13:14,910
[tires screeching]
Huh?
274
00:13:15,012 --> 00:13:18,914
Dum-de-dum-dum
275
00:13:19,016 --> 00:13:21,049
[gulps]
276
00:13:21,151 --> 00:13:22,484
[grunts]
277
00:13:22,586 --> 00:13:23,986
[whimpers]
278
00:13:24,088 --> 00:13:28,924
[grunting]
279
00:13:29,009 --> 00:13:31,393
Uh...
280
00:13:31,478 --> 00:13:32,628
[tires screeching]
281
00:13:36,150 --> 00:13:37,900
Oh, hey, Emily.
282
00:13:37,985 --> 00:13:41,211
Listen, I'll call you about the dry...
[vomits]
283
00:13:41,438 --> 00:13:43,605
That's guy's still going at it.
How much castor oil did you give him?
284
00:13:43,691 --> 00:13:45,607
I don't know. All of it?
285
00:13:45,743 --> 00:13:47,576
Thanks for driving
all the way from...
286
00:13:47,661 --> 00:13:48,944
[vomits]
...akersfield.
287
00:13:49,029 --> 00:13:50,863
God, he's in pretty bad shape.
288
00:13:50,948 --> 00:13:54,032
We should get him a glass of water
or ginger ale or something.
289
00:13:54,118 --> 00:13:55,334
You know what?
That's a good idea.
290
00:13:55,452 --> 00:14:00,455
- Hey, Gary, we brought you some water.
- Oh, wow. Thanks, guys.
291
00:14:00,591 --> 00:14:04,250
- Ah!
- Suck it, Gary! Whoo!
292
00:14:05,262 --> 00:14:08,630
Actually, that water feels
pretty refreshing on my... [vomits]
293
00:14:08,631 --> 00:14:11,743
? Suck it, Gary! ?
294
00:14:11,970 --> 00:14:13,769
[phone ringing]
This is TripTank.
295
00:14:13,854 --> 00:14:15,571
Will you accept a
phone call from an inmate
296
00:14:15,656 --> 00:14:16,355
at Hollywood County Jail?
297
00:14:16,440 --> 00:14:20,442
- Ugh. Yes, I accept.
- Hey, Steve, it's your sister.
298
00:14:20,578 --> 00:14:22,111
- Hey, Lindsey.
- Oh, here we go again!
299
00:14:22,196 --> 00:14:27,082
Mighty Steve from up on high,
gracing us with his presence.
300
00:14:27,168 --> 00:14:28,283
- You called me.
- Yeah.
301
00:14:28,369 --> 00:14:29,668
I need you to pick me
up from jail again, dude.
302
00:14:29,787 --> 00:14:30,919
- Come on.
- What happened this time?
303
00:14:31,005 --> 00:14:32,454
We all know you're
the better twin, Steve.
304
00:14:32,590 --> 00:14:35,257
You're the one with the job.
You've still got all your toenails.
305
00:14:35,342 --> 00:14:36,759
You never set Dad's Camaro on fire.
306
00:14:36,844 --> 00:14:40,012
You don't eat your own hair.
You graduated from DeVry.
307
00:14:40,131 --> 00:14:42,514
- Stop holding it over me.
- No, no, Lindsey.
308
00:14:42,633 --> 00:14:44,183
I'm... I'm on my way, okay?
Just tell me where...
309
00:14:44,301 --> 00:14:46,135
Forget it, Steve. I'll just
pay my late car registration
310
00:14:46,270 --> 00:14:50,522
and they'll let me out.
Sorry to have bothered you, asshole.
311
00:14:50,641 --> 00:14:52,808
I'll let you get back to
your big, fancy corporate job,
312
00:14:52,943 --> 00:14:54,823
you sellout.
[phone slams down]
313
00:15:00,589 --> 00:15:03,803
[sleigh bells ringing]
314
00:15:07,436 --> 00:15:08,820
[sips]
315
00:15:13,451 --> 00:15:16,052
Man: I usually take a couple of
weeks off this time of year.
316
00:15:16,154 --> 00:15:18,921
You know, recharge the old batteries.
317
00:15:18,922 --> 00:15:22,907
[Christmas music]
318
00:15:26,898 --> 00:15:29,816
Oh. Why did I eat all that bisque?
319
00:15:29,901 --> 00:15:32,568
Because it was crazy good.
320
00:15:32,654 --> 00:15:35,905
Yeah, and we couldn't let those
leftovers go to waste, right?
321
00:15:35,990 --> 00:15:37,240
Wait a minute.
Is this Gary's bisque?
322
00:15:37,325 --> 00:15:38,908
- Yeah, why?
- Oh!
323
00:15:39,044 --> 00:15:40,793
Because I peed in Gary's bisque.
324
00:15:40,912 --> 00:15:44,464
- I peed in Gary's bisque too.
- So did I.
325
00:15:44,582 --> 00:15:48,418
I can't believe that asshole Gary
made us eat our own pee!
326
00:15:48,503 --> 00:15:50,420
- What a sicko!
- I hate him so much!
327
00:15:50,555 --> 00:15:52,922
Gary, you have won
the battle, my friend.
328
00:15:53,007 --> 00:15:56,814
But I assure you, you will
lose the "it" sucking war.
329
00:15:56,849 --> 00:15:57,927
Big time!
330
00:15:58,012 --> 00:16:01,647
All: Suck it! Suck it!
Suck it! Suck it!
331
00:16:01,766 --> 00:16:05,435
Suck it! Suck it! Suck it!
Suck it! [dog barks]
332
00:16:05,520 --> 00:16:07,687
Suck it! Suck it!
[coughs]
333
00:16:07,688 --> 00:16:10,923
? Suck it, Gary! ?
334
00:16:11,776 --> 00:16:14,944
- Whoa. What's going on here?
- Ugh. It's just my family.
335
00:16:15,029 --> 00:16:18,030
They drive me crazy during the holidays.
336
00:16:18,116 --> 00:16:18,682
They just keep on calling me
337
00:16:18,683 --> 00:16:21,582
and asking me to do all these...
Ow! What the hell?
338
00:16:21,617 --> 00:16:24,670
Oh, shit. I thought that
was a spider on your neck.
339
00:16:24,789 --> 00:16:26,360
It's just a weird looking mole.
340
00:16:26,395 --> 00:16:29,292
- Now what were you yammering about?
- [phone ringing] Ugh.
341
00:16:29,377 --> 00:16:31,594
Nothing.
TripTank, this is Steve.
342
00:16:31,679 --> 00:16:33,699
Hey, buddy, how's it going?
It's your dad.
343
00:16:33,734 --> 00:16:36,182
Uh, I actually have a small
issue with this laptop.
344
00:16:36,301 --> 00:16:38,968
You know, your Uncle Ben sent
me one of those email links.
345
00:16:39,053 --> 00:16:42,638
And once that I saw it was pornography,
I immediately closed it, of course.
346
00:16:42,774 --> 00:16:43,973
Yeah, sure. Whatever, Dad.
347
00:16:44,109 --> 00:16:45,775
Anyways, I just need to
clear the browser history
348
00:16:45,860 --> 00:16:49,313
before I give this
computer back to you sister.
349
00:16:49,348 --> 00:16:50,947
So, uh, where do I click?
350
00:16:51,032 --> 00:16:53,065
Just click on the top
where it says "history."
351
00:16:53,151 --> 00:16:56,119
Okay, I'm... I'm looking
at the history now.
352
00:16:56,204 --> 00:16:58,654
It says "Super Teen Swallow Contest."
353
00:16:58,790 --> 00:17:01,073
- Oh, my God.
- I'll clear that.
354
00:17:01,159 --> 00:17:03,326
"Nurse Takes All Comers."
Clear.
355
00:17:03,461 --> 00:17:05,294
"Lolly Lickers,"
"Lolly Suckers,"
356
00:17:05,380 --> 00:17:08,164
"Lolly Gaggers."
All clear.
357
00:17:08,249 --> 00:17:11,300
- You know you can just hit "erase all"?
- "Thoroughbreds Ridden Hard."
358
00:17:11,386 --> 00:17:13,503
I think that one's
just an equestrian blog,
359
00:17:13,588 --> 00:17:15,004
so let me double check. Whoa!
360
00:17:15,089 --> 00:17:17,640
Whoa, no, that one should be
cleared too! [horse neighs]
361
00:17:17,725 --> 00:17:19,142
[chuckles]
362
00:17:19,227 --> 00:17:20,927
I mean, there were
horses involved, but...
363
00:17:21,012 --> 00:17:22,678
This is the worst day of my life.
364
00:17:22,814 --> 00:17:24,931
Right. Here's one called
"Too Many Fingers."
365
00:17:25,016 --> 00:17:27,767
Now, if I'm not ready to
delete one of these immediately,
366
00:17:27,852 --> 00:17:31,154
is there, like, a
delete later button or...
367
00:17:31,239 --> 00:17:33,829
[Christmas techno music]
368
00:17:39,631 --> 00:17:41,664
Ho, ho, ho.
369
00:17:41,766 --> 00:17:46,802
[humming "Deck the Halls"]
370
00:17:52,110 --> 00:17:54,710
Oh, Jesus Christ!
Not now!
371
00:17:54,796 --> 00:17:55,962
[both gasping]
372
00:17:56,047 --> 00:17:59,382
[panting]
Jimmy, Bobby, get down here. Please!
373
00:17:59,467 --> 00:18:04,988
- What's wrong, Santa?
- Di... a... be... tic shock.
374
00:18:05,023 --> 00:18:08,558
- What... what... what does...
- Reach into my pocket.
375
00:18:08,660 --> 00:18:11,060
[gasping]
376
00:18:11,145 --> 00:18:15,231
Other pocket.
Jam it in Santa's chest. [gasping]
377
00:18:15,366 --> 00:18:17,366
- What?
- What's the holdup, Claus?
378
00:18:17,452 --> 00:18:20,987
- We got... Oh, shit, not again.
- Oh, my God. Are you...
379
00:18:21,072 --> 00:18:23,606
Prancer. Yeah, that's right.
It's me, Prancer.
380
00:18:23,708 --> 00:18:25,541
Everybody's favorite
[bleep] reindeer, right?
381
00:18:25,643 --> 00:18:28,461
And this is Santa Claus.
And unless you jam that insulin needle
382
00:18:28,580 --> 00:18:32,415
into his fat [bleep] chest,
Christmas is canceled. Forever.
383
00:18:32,550 --> 00:18:34,383
Oh, shit. We're losing him.
384
00:18:34,469 --> 00:18:36,168
Kid, come on! I'd do it myself,
385
00:18:36,254 --> 00:18:37,637
- but I have hooves.
- But... but...
386
00:18:37,755 --> 00:18:40,640
"But... but... but,"
but nothing! Do it!
387
00:18:40,758 --> 00:18:44,310
- Do it, Jimmy. Save Christmas!
- Do it, Jimmy.
388
00:18:44,429 --> 00:18:47,513
Fine! Okay!
389
00:18:47,599 --> 00:18:51,934
- Here... we... go!
- Whoa!
390
00:18:52,020 --> 00:18:55,905
- Yes! There we go.
- Jesus. Thank you, boys.
391
00:18:55,990 --> 00:18:59,442
Merry Christmas... I guess.
392
00:18:59,527 --> 00:19:01,444
You were very nice this year.
393
00:19:01,579 --> 00:19:05,831
- Not naughty. Ho, ho, ho, ho...
- No more cookies, dude. Seriously.
394
00:19:05,950 --> 00:19:11,394
- I know, I know.
- Oh, do you, you fat [bleep].
395
00:19:11,474 --> 00:19:13,456
[sobbing]
396
00:19:13,591 --> 00:19:17,126
You know, I learned
something today, Steve.
397
00:19:17,262 --> 00:19:19,304
- What's that, Roy?
- French, you dipshit. Didn't you see
398
00:19:19,305 --> 00:19:22,465
me walking around with these
damn headphones on all day?
399
00:19:22,550 --> 00:19:26,135
- Oh, right.
- But actually, I learned that during the holidays,
400
00:19:26,271 --> 00:19:28,387
there's nothing more
important than family.
401
00:19:28,473 --> 00:19:31,557
Because no matter what,
they've always got your back.
402
00:19:31,643 --> 00:19:32,942
You know, Roy, you're right.
I guess I am pretty lucky.
403
00:19:33,027 --> 00:19:35,895
I mean, my mom did make
me this sweet ass jacket.
404
00:19:35,980 --> 00:19:37,613
- Asshole!
- Gah!
405
00:19:37,699 --> 00:19:40,650
- That your sister?
- Yeah.
406
00:19:40,785 --> 00:19:43,452
Hmm... She got a fella?
407
00:19:43,538 --> 00:19:45,916
[Christmas techno music]
408
00:19:55,177 --> 00:19:57,307
[piano plays]
409
00:21:00,287 --> 00:21:04,393
Happy holidays from TripTank!
Ooh!
410
00:21:04,394 --> 00:21:06,292
sync & correction by f1nc0
~ Addic7ed.com ~
411
00:21:06,333 --> 00:21:10,227
[slow Christmas music]
412
00:21:10,228 --> 00:21:12,227
? I see the ?
413
00:21:12,228 --> 00:21:17,227
- Ooh
- snowflakes fall
414
00:21:17,228 --> 00:21:19,965
? Young children... ?
415
00:21:20,000 --> 00:21:21,530
[screams]
[truck's horn honks]
416
00:21:21,580 --> 00:21:26,130
Repair and Synchronization by
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