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1
00:00:11,955 --> 00:00:13,954
Soon, my children,
2
00:00:13,955 --> 00:00:17,954
we shall claim our new home.
3
00:00:17,955 --> 00:00:21,954
- Commander Zorbolbrax.
- Yes, my queen?
4
00:00:21,955 --> 00:00:26,954
How many light-years
until we reach... Earth?
5
00:00:26,955 --> 00:00:29,954
- 420!
- Nice.
6
00:00:29,955 --> 00:00:31,954
[buzzer sounds]
7
00:00:31,955 --> 00:00:33,955
[wheels squeaking]
8
00:00:34,955 --> 00:00:36,955
[water bubbling]
9
00:00:38,352 --> 00:00:40,256
[techno music]
10
00:00:43,794 --> 00:00:47,013
2x04 - "Cold War 2"
11
00:00:48,964 --> 00:00:51,954
[clicking]
[gun clicking]
12
00:00:51,955 --> 00:00:52,955
[high-pitched whirring]
13
00:00:53,955 --> 00:00:57,954
Nobody, nobody buys in
Southampton anymore, okay?
14
00:00:57,955 --> 00:00:59,954
First of all, you know
you can't land a helicopter
15
00:00:59,955 --> 00:01:01,954
any time after, like, 9:00 p.m.
16
00:01:01,955 --> 00:01:02,954
And I got to tell you,
you know, sometimes
17
00:01:02,955 --> 00:01:03,954
you're gonna need to
come and go on the chopper
18
00:01:03,955 --> 00:01:05,875
and you don't want all
the neighbors complaining.
19
00:01:05,900 --> 00:01:07,954
And the other thing is, like...
Hey, Joe Joe.
20
00:01:07,955 --> 00:01:09,954
Yeah, just forget Southampton.
21
00:01:09,955 --> 00:01:11,954
It's like you might as
well be in the ghetto.
22
00:01:11,955 --> 00:01:13,755
[cat growling] What are
you doing, little guy?
23
00:01:13,780 --> 00:01:14,954
Whoa! Get... Wait, wait!
24
00:01:14,955 --> 00:01:16,954
No! That's a thousand-dollar tie!
25
00:01:16,955 --> 00:01:17,954
Ah-ha! Ah!
26
00:01:17,955 --> 00:01:20,955
[cat growling]
27
00:01:23,955 --> 00:01:26,955
[whistling carefree tune]
28
00:01:28,955 --> 00:01:31,954
[militaristic music]
29
00:01:31,955 --> 00:01:32,954
[jet flies over]
30
00:01:32,955 --> 00:01:37,954
So I said, "Listen, comrade,
eat the borsht or put it back in pot.
31
00:01:37,955 --> 00:01:39,954
Don't foot pussy around it, bro."
32
00:01:39,955 --> 00:01:41,954
Well? Don't keep me on
the edge of my seat, Yuri.
33
00:01:41,955 --> 00:01:44,954
- Did he eat the borsht or what?
- Of course he no eat borsht.
34
00:01:44,955 --> 00:01:47,954
He is real Yankee jerk-off.
35
00:01:47,955 --> 00:01:50,954
Ugh! I hate those guys.
[phone rings]
36
00:01:50,955 --> 00:01:52,954
All hail the great
and noble Mother Russia
37
00:01:52,955 --> 00:01:54,435
and her virile leader, Vladimir Putin.
38
00:01:54,460 --> 00:01:55,954
This is TripTank. How can I help you?
39
00:01:55,955 --> 00:01:58,954
Yo, yo, TripTank, yo!
Hey, I got to give some shout-outs.
40
00:01:58,955 --> 00:02:00,195
I want to give some shout-outs.
41
00:02:00,220 --> 00:02:03,954
Shout-out to Pookie, Ray Ray,
Earl, Craig, my mama.
42
00:02:03,955 --> 00:02:06,954
Uh, this is a TV show.
We don't really do shout-outs.
43
00:02:06,955 --> 00:02:08,395
[man on phone] Shut your ass up, sir!
44
00:02:08,396 --> 00:02:10,395
I got to give a
shout-out to Santa Claus,
45
00:02:10,396 --> 00:02:13,954
- the Easter Bunny, unicorns.
- Um, again, we don't really...
46
00:02:13,955 --> 00:02:15,515
Sir, if you don't
shut your bitch-ass up
47
00:02:15,540 --> 00:02:17,954
- while I do these shout-outs, though!
- Uh, okay.
48
00:02:17,955 --> 00:02:19,954
I got to give a shout-out to the bread!
49
00:02:19,955 --> 00:02:23,954
We can't forget about the bread.
Oh, this glazed ham.
50
00:02:23,955 --> 00:02:25,355
Got to give a shout-out to this ham.
51
00:02:25,380 --> 00:02:27,954
- Uh, turkey.
- Are you just making a sandwich now?
52
00:02:27,955 --> 00:02:29,954
[man on phone] Shout-out!
53
00:02:29,955 --> 00:02:32,954
[techno music]
54
00:02:34,955 --> 00:02:36,235
[man on phone] And another thing!
55
00:02:36,260 --> 00:02:39,954
Your company's customer service
is nothing short of terrible!
56
00:02:39,955 --> 00:02:42,954
Do you have my account pulled up?
Do you? Do you?
57
00:02:42,955 --> 00:02:47,954
Do you see where I called
in three separate times
58
00:02:47,955 --> 00:02:50,954
on my day off, talking to you people?
59
00:02:50,955 --> 00:02:52,954
I should receive at
least a month's credit
60
00:02:52,955 --> 00:02:54,954
for the inconvenience I've suffered.
61
00:02:54,955 --> 00:02:58,954
Understand that if this is
not immediately resolved...
62
00:02:58,955 --> 00:03:00,954
[doorbell rings]
Could you hold on for just a second?
63
00:03:00,955 --> 00:03:01,954
Somebody's at my door.
64
00:03:01,955 --> 00:03:05,954
- Hello. Can I help you?
- [man] Are you Sheldon Lipscomb?
65
00:03:05,955 --> 00:03:06,995
Yes, and who might you be?
66
00:03:07,020 --> 00:03:09,954
[chain saw revs]
Ah!
67
00:03:09,955 --> 00:03:11,954
[man screaming on phone]
68
00:03:11,955 --> 00:03:14,158
No! Please, no! Aah!
69
00:03:14,193 --> 00:03:18,954
[man] Now announcing
Sir Ian of Patrick.
70
00:03:18,955 --> 00:03:19,954
Sir Ian!
71
00:03:19,955 --> 00:03:24,954
Oh, my heart doth smile
upon your triumphant return.
72
00:03:24,955 --> 00:03:26,954
My liege, I come bearing splendid news.
73
00:03:26,955 --> 00:03:29,954
- The chimera is real?
- Oh, very real.
74
00:03:29,955 --> 00:03:34,954
I knew you were the knight for
the quest. Please, spare no detail.
75
00:03:34,955 --> 00:03:37,954
I did exactly as I
was told, Your Majesty.
76
00:03:37,955 --> 00:03:40,954
- I entered the ruins.
- [gasps] Go on.
77
00:03:40,955 --> 00:03:43,954
- I tracked down my prey.
- Go on!
78
00:03:43,955 --> 00:03:45,954
- I removed my armor.
- And then?
79
00:03:45,955 --> 00:03:49,954
And then...
I [bleep] the chimera
80
00:03:49,955 --> 00:03:51,035
? Chicka, chicka, wah, wah ?
81
00:03:51,036 --> 00:03:53,954
- Waka, chicka, chicka...
- W-W-Wait!
82
00:03:53,955 --> 00:03:55,954
Did I hear that right?
83
00:03:55,955 --> 00:03:58,954
Let it be known that
Sir Ian of Patrick, me,
84
00:03:58,955 --> 00:04:02,869
made sweet love...
sex... to the chimera.
85
00:04:02,904 --> 00:04:04,954
All six holes.
[crowd gasps]
86
00:04:04,955 --> 00:04:11,293
Sir Ian, your quest
was to slay the chimera!
87
00:04:11,328 --> 00:04:14,954
Yes. Lay the chimera.
And I... I did it.
88
00:04:14,955 --> 00:04:17,954
No, no, no, no!
Slay, you blistering idiot!
89
00:04:17,955 --> 00:04:20,954
Slay the evil beast!
90
00:04:20,955 --> 00:04:23,954
- I sent you there to kill it!
- Are you serious?
91
00:04:23,955 --> 00:04:25,954
Oh, I thought you said,
"Lay the chimera."
92
00:04:25,955 --> 00:04:29,954
Lay? Lay the chimera?
What does that even mean?
93
00:04:29,955 --> 00:04:32,954
You said you wanted me
to take the chimera down,
94
00:04:32,955 --> 00:04:35,954
so I took the chimera "down."
95
00:04:35,955 --> 00:04:36,954
[laughter]
Silence!
96
00:04:36,955 --> 00:04:40,525
Did you really have carnal
knowledge of the chimera?
97
00:04:40,560 --> 00:04:42,955
- How does that even work?
- You hold the scorpion t...
98
00:04:42,980 --> 00:04:45,954
No, no, no, no, no, no.
I... I don't want to know.
99
00:04:45,955 --> 00:04:48,954
- Go back at once!
- Go back?
100
00:04:48,955 --> 00:04:50,954
- Like, back, back?
- Yes!
101
00:04:50,955 --> 00:04:54,954
You will go back and slay
the vile beast at once
102
00:04:54,955 --> 00:04:58,954
or you will suffer under the yoke
for your unnatural deeds.
103
00:04:58,955 --> 00:05:01,954
Your Highness, no!
Don't make me go back there.
104
00:05:01,955 --> 00:05:03,954
You will kill it! Not thrill it!
105
00:05:03,955 --> 00:05:06,954
[dramatic music]
106
00:05:06,955 --> 00:05:08,115
You and you and you and you...
107
00:05:08,140 --> 00:05:09,954
you, you, and you.
108
00:05:10,955 --> 00:05:12,954
Ahh!
[ogre groaning]
109
00:05:12,955 --> 00:05:15,954
Oh, just do it!
Just kill me!
110
00:05:15,955 --> 00:05:17,954
I don't have time for this.
[bleep] this.
111
00:05:17,955 --> 00:05:19,954
Hey. Where are you going?
112
00:05:19,955 --> 00:05:21,954
Finish what you started!
113
00:05:23,455 --> 00:05:24,954
[Sir Ian] Oh.
114
00:05:24,955 --> 00:05:27,954
- Lovely day. [grunts]
- Yah!
115
00:05:27,955 --> 00:05:30,954
- Ah! Run, Janine!
- Oh, no you don't.
116
00:05:30,955 --> 00:05:31,954
[grunts]
117
00:05:37,955 --> 00:05:41,954
Great chimera,
it is I, Sir Ian of Patrick.
118
00:05:41,955 --> 00:05:46,954
[laughs] Oh, my goodness.
Baby, is that you?
119
00:05:46,955 --> 00:05:49,954
- Ooh, it's so good to see you...
- Silence, beast!
120
00:05:49,955 --> 00:05:51,954
Beast?
Whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa.
121
00:05:51,955 --> 00:05:52,954
Who you calling "beast"?
122
00:05:52,955 --> 00:05:55,263
You wasn't calling me beast when I had
123
00:05:55,314 --> 00:05:57,954
- my finger in your ass.
- Shh! That was a mistake.
124
00:05:57,955 --> 00:06:00,954
That's all it was. How
many have you told of this?
125
00:06:00,955 --> 00:06:04,702
Mistake?
Uh-uh. Boy, you been inside me.
126
00:06:04,737 --> 00:06:05,954
[bleats]
127
00:06:05,955 --> 00:06:08,954
We had a good time, but
that's over now. It's done.
128
00:06:08,955 --> 00:06:11,954
What was all that bullshit
about meeting your parents?
129
00:06:11,955 --> 00:06:14,454
I am here to slay you,
to send you back to
130
00:06:14,455 --> 00:06:16,954
the bowels of hell from
whence you have come.
131
00:06:16,955 --> 00:06:20,954
Uh... Oh. I don't let no
man talk to me like this.
132
00:06:20,955 --> 00:06:23,954
You don't walk up in here
with your sword and shield,
133
00:06:23,955 --> 00:06:25,954
acting like you all bad.
134
00:06:25,955 --> 00:06:27,954
[bleats]
You ain't nothing!
135
00:06:27,955 --> 00:06:29,954
I-it's... it's not...
136
00:06:29,955 --> 00:06:34,954
- It's not you, it's me.
- Look me in my eye and tell me
137
00:06:34,955 --> 00:06:37,954
you don't want this pussy.
[bleats]
138
00:06:37,955 --> 00:06:39,954
Do it! Tell me.
139
00:06:39,955 --> 00:06:42,954
Say it, and I will let you slay me.
140
00:06:42,955 --> 00:06:44,954
I... I...
141
00:06:44,955 --> 00:06:47,954
I... Ahh.
142
00:06:48,355 --> 00:06:51,954
I did it again.
[coins clink]
143
00:06:51,955 --> 00:06:54,954
[techno music]
144
00:06:57,897 --> 00:07:00,696
[techno music]
145
00:07:02,697 --> 00:07:05,696
[rock music]
[students gasp]
146
00:07:11,697 --> 00:07:14,697
[chalk scraping]
147
00:07:19,697 --> 00:07:23,696
Hello, children.
Time for Versus!
148
00:07:23,697 --> 00:07:25,697
[students cheering]
149
00:07:26,506 --> 00:07:28,569
_
150
00:07:29,693 --> 00:07:32,519
_
151
00:07:32,697 --> 00:07:33,696
versus...
152
00:07:33,697 --> 00:07:35,696
[heavy rock music]
153
00:07:35,697 --> 00:07:38,696
[cheery instrumental music]
154
00:07:53,697 --> 00:07:56,697
[crowd cheering]
155
00:08:01,697 --> 00:08:03,697
[students cheering]
156
00:08:09,554 --> 00:08:12,517
_
157
00:08:12,697 --> 00:08:15,696
[screeching]
158
00:08:15,697 --> 00:08:16,857
[cheering instrumental music]
159
00:08:16,882 --> 00:08:18,696
You got it, Mister Buttons!
160
00:08:18,697 --> 00:08:20,697
[electricity crackling]
161
00:08:26,697 --> 00:08:28,697
[electricity crackling]
162
00:08:31,697 --> 00:08:35,697
Aw, come on, Mister Buttons.
That's not even food.
163
00:08:36,697 --> 00:08:39,696
[laughter]
164
00:08:39,697 --> 00:08:40,697
[students cheering]
165
00:08:46,697 --> 00:08:48,697
[students gasp]
[silence]
166
00:08:52,697 --> 00:08:54,696
Winner.
167
00:08:54,697 --> 00:08:57,697
Thorax the thunder wasp?
168
00:08:59,697 --> 00:09:02,696
[students cheering]
169
00:09:02,697 --> 00:09:04,696
Yeah. Yeah!
170
00:09:04,697 --> 00:09:07,696
[laughs] Yeah. All right.
171
00:09:07,697 --> 00:09:10,196
God damn it, I am Russian.
If Yuri want to watch
172
00:09:10,197 --> 00:09:12,696
porno and switch over to
Nu, Pogodi!, then, so be it!
173
00:09:12,697 --> 00:09:16,177
- Yuri does it!
- Damn right, Yuri. It's a free country.
174
00:09:16,202 --> 00:09:19,110
- Nyet. Not free country.
- Oh, right. Yeah, sorry.
175
00:09:19,145 --> 00:09:21,166
[bear growling]
Holy shit!
176
00:09:21,239 --> 00:09:23,696
Nadia, grab Kalashnikov.
It could be Cossack.
177
00:09:23,697 --> 00:09:26,696
Andale, andale.
Arriba! Ai, ai, ai!
178
00:09:26,697 --> 00:09:28,696
[man] Psst. Steve. Hey, Steve.
179
00:09:28,697 --> 00:09:30,696
- What? Who's there?
- Quick, man.
180
00:09:30,697 --> 00:09:32,817
I set a bear loose in the
break room as a distraction.
181
00:09:32,818 --> 00:09:35,696
- Let's roll out of here, brother.
- Roy! O.M.G.
182
00:09:35,697 --> 00:09:37,696
I haven't seen you since
the Socialist Revolution.
183
00:09:37,697 --> 00:09:39,696
No time to talk, Steve. It's been hell
184
00:09:39,697 --> 00:09:41,696
on earth since them Ruskies showed up.
185
00:09:41,697 --> 00:09:43,696
Really? I haven't noticed
anything different.
186
00:09:43,697 --> 00:09:45,696
I mean, I guess there's
a lot more ice-dancing
187
00:09:45,697 --> 00:09:47,696
on TV now and we all love Billy Crystal
188
00:09:47,697 --> 00:09:50,696
and we all have those dash-cams,
but those have been pretty fun.
189
00:09:50,697 --> 00:09:53,817
Pretty fun?
These jackasses are grinding
190
00:09:53,818 --> 00:09:56,058
- dog shit into our flag, man.
- Well, that's a bit dramatic.
191
00:09:56,083 --> 00:09:58,696
[bear growls] Oh, shit.
They're coming back.
192
00:09:58,697 --> 00:10:01,197
Don't worry, brother, I
swear by Martha Washington's
193
00:10:01,198 --> 00:10:03,697
wrinkled titties I'm
coming back for you, man.
194
00:10:04,697 --> 00:10:06,696
Don't worry, Steve.
195
00:10:06,697 --> 00:10:09,696
It was just bear in break room.
196
00:10:09,697 --> 00:10:12,696
Now me and Bosco go drink
vodka till we black out.
197
00:10:12,697 --> 00:10:13,696
[laughs]
198
00:10:13,697 --> 00:10:15,696
[laughs] Classic Yuri.
199
00:10:15,697 --> 00:10:18,696
[militaristic music]
200
00:10:21,537 --> 00:10:24,536
[man] Hmm. Wow.
201
00:10:24,537 --> 00:10:26,536
Well, here's the apartment.
202
00:10:26,537 --> 00:10:30,536
- Do you mean the burned out warehouse?
- [laughs] No.
203
00:10:30,537 --> 00:10:33,536
That burned out warehouse is
way out of your price range.
204
00:10:33,537 --> 00:10:36,536
- This is the apartment.
- That's a toilet.
205
00:10:36,537 --> 00:10:39,536
Actually, it's a junior studio in
a very up-and-coming part of town.
206
00:10:39,537 --> 00:10:42,536
- 1,400 a month.
- But it's a toilet.
207
00:10:42,537 --> 00:10:45,311
Pre-war, original handle...
208
00:10:46,391 --> 00:10:49,602
Right. Can you excuse
us for just a second?
209
00:10:50,377 --> 00:10:51,657
I don't want to live in a toilet.
210
00:10:51,682 --> 00:10:54,376
I know, but $1,400
is a pretty good deal.
211
00:10:54,377 --> 00:10:56,376
Can you tell us a little
bit more about the place?
212
00:10:56,377 --> 00:10:58,876
Like I said, great location,
burned out warehouse
213
00:10:58,877 --> 00:11:01,376
adjacent, beautiful natural
light from the fires...
214
00:11:01,377 --> 00:11:02,817
the neighborhood gets a lot of fires.
215
00:11:02,842 --> 00:11:04,376
- Ah!
- Wow. See?
216
00:11:04,377 --> 00:11:06,376
Oh... Anything else?
217
00:11:06,377 --> 00:11:07,377
- No pets allowed.
- Okay.
218
00:11:07,402 --> 00:11:09,376
- It's a 4 1/2 month lease.
- Okay.
219
00:11:09,377 --> 00:11:12,376
- The previous tenant was murdered.
- Wait, someone was murdered here?
220
00:11:12,377 --> 00:11:14,376
- Oh, what about utilities?
- Seriously?!
221
00:11:14,377 --> 00:11:17,376
Utilities aren't even
included in the toilet rent?!
222
00:11:17,377 --> 00:11:20,376
No. I mean there are no utilities.
223
00:11:20,377 --> 00:11:22,376
That's why the listing
said "rustic charm."
224
00:11:22,377 --> 00:11:25,376
- It's quaint.
- [gasps] The simple life, honey.
225
00:11:25,377 --> 00:11:28,376
But why would we pay
$1,400 to live in a toilet?!
226
00:11:28,377 --> 00:11:30,876
Look, if you're not
interested, I'm sure there are
227
00:11:30,877 --> 00:11:33,376
plenty of other people who
would love to rent the place.
228
00:11:33,377 --> 00:11:37,376
Oh, my God!
What a cute junior studio.
229
00:11:37,377 --> 00:11:39,376
I wonder if it's pre-war.
230
00:11:39,377 --> 00:11:42,376
- Honey, I think we got to make a decision quick!
- But it's a toilet!
231
00:11:42,377 --> 00:11:45,376
- Honey, honey...
- For $1,400 a month!
232
00:11:45,377 --> 00:11:47,376
- Honey, honey, give me the checkbook.
- It's a toilet!
233
00:11:47,377 --> 00:11:49,376
Is there any way you would maybe
234
00:11:49,377 --> 00:11:52,376
- come down on price?
- No. In fact,
235
00:11:52,377 --> 00:11:54,777
in the time it's taken
us to have this conversation,
236
00:11:54,802 --> 00:11:57,376
the rent has gone up by...
Whoa! $100!
237
00:11:57,377 --> 00:11:58,617
- $1,500!
- Oh, my God, that's...
238
00:11:58,642 --> 00:12:01,376
Look, if we wait any longer,
we're gonna lose this.
239
00:12:01,377 --> 00:12:03,376
Please, honey, we got to jump on this!
240
00:12:03,377 --> 00:12:05,376
Of course, I will need
first month, last month,
241
00:12:05,377 --> 00:12:07,376
middle month, and
security deposit up front.
242
00:12:07,377 --> 00:12:10,376
- Okay.
- Plus, the standard broker fee of 23...
243
00:12:10,377 --> 00:12:11,376
I mean, 32%.
244
00:12:11,377 --> 00:12:14,376
- That is 10,000...
- Plus gratuity. [coughs]
245
00:12:14,377 --> 00:12:15,457
- Oh, my God...
- No, no, no.
246
00:12:15,482 --> 00:12:18,376
- Honey, honey, please.
- Okay. Okay. Fine!
247
00:12:18,377 --> 00:12:21,376
- Live in a toilet.
- [laughing] Okay. Great!
248
00:12:21,377 --> 00:12:23,376
We'll take it! We'll take it!
We'll take it!
249
00:12:23,377 --> 00:12:24,376
Fantastic!
250
00:12:24,377 --> 00:12:27,376
Whoa, hold your horses, hotshot.
251
00:12:27,377 --> 00:12:30,376
All renters must be
approved by the co-op board.
252
00:12:30,377 --> 00:12:31,376
[musical flourish]
253
00:12:31,377 --> 00:12:34,376
[Russian music playing]
[phone rings]
254
00:12:34,377 --> 00:12:35,376
I'm a freedom-hating
Communist named Steve.
255
00:12:35,377 --> 00:12:37,376
This is TripTank.
How can I help you?
256
00:12:37,377 --> 00:12:40,376
Yeah, hi.
I'm calling from the animal shelter.
257
00:12:40,377 --> 00:12:42,376
Who do I thank for
killing all these dogs?
258
00:12:42,377 --> 00:12:44,376
I don't know what you're
talking about, man!
259
00:12:44,377 --> 00:12:47,376
Well, sometimes when one of
our poor animals goes unadopted,
260
00:12:47,377 --> 00:12:50,376
we unfortunately have to
put them down. It's so sad.
261
00:12:50,377 --> 00:12:54,376
- So what we do is we turn TripTank on.
- What?
262
00:12:54,377 --> 00:12:57,376
And the dogs just immediately drop dead.
263
00:12:57,377 --> 00:13:00,376
- Oh, that's crazy!
- It must be how terrible your show is.
264
00:13:00,377 --> 00:13:04,376
- I don't know, but it works every time.
- Yeah, no problem, man.
265
00:13:04,377 --> 00:13:06,376
I've got this check here
to pay for your services.
266
00:13:06,377 --> 00:13:09,051
I wrote in the memo line
"for the dead dogs."
267
00:13:09,086 --> 00:13:10,505
How do I get that to you?
268
00:13:10,540 --> 00:13:13,376
Oh, let me transfer you.
Hey, hey, hey
269
00:13:13,377 --> 00:13:16,376
[techno music]
270
00:13:22,511 --> 00:13:26,310
[dramatic music]
271
00:13:29,311 --> 00:13:30,995
[knock on door]
272
00:13:32,311 --> 00:13:34,310
Hello, officer.
273
00:13:34,311 --> 00:13:36,310
- Brenda Peterson?
- Y-Yes.
274
00:13:36,311 --> 00:13:41,310
Miss Peterson, I am sorry to
inform you but your husband is dead.
275
00:13:41,311 --> 00:13:44,310
But officer, my husband
died six years ago.
276
00:13:44,311 --> 00:13:45,310
Yeah, I know.
277
00:13:45,311 --> 00:13:47,310
I just wanted to remind you.
[sobbing]
278
00:13:47,311 --> 00:13:51,222
[laughing]
279
00:13:51,311 --> 00:13:54,310
You still got it.
280
00:13:54,311 --> 00:13:56,310
[militaristic music]
281
00:13:56,311 --> 00:13:59,310
[electronic beeping]
282
00:13:59,311 --> 00:14:00,310
Mmm.
283
00:14:00,311 --> 00:14:02,310
Ah! God damn it, Roy!
284
00:14:02,311 --> 00:14:04,310
Listen, man, when the
clock strikes 3:00,
285
00:14:04,311 --> 00:14:06,311
we rise up against those
bread line pinko bastards.
286
00:14:06,336 --> 00:14:09,351
- Roy, come on. They're nice people.
- You been brainwashed, man.
287
00:14:09,376 --> 00:14:12,310
Come back to me, buddy.
America needs you, brother.
288
00:14:12,311 --> 00:14:13,310
[phone ringing]
289
00:14:13,311 --> 00:14:15,310
Dobre deen. It's TripTank.
290
00:14:15,311 --> 00:14:17,310
TripTank? Help!
I can't find my penis.
291
00:14:17,311 --> 00:14:21,310
I-it's lost! I've looked
everywhere and I can't find it.
292
00:14:21,311 --> 00:14:23,310
Have you tried looking
between your legs?
293
00:14:23,311 --> 00:14:25,310
What?
What do you mean my legs?
294
00:14:25,311 --> 00:14:26,631
Of course I looked between... Wait.
295
00:14:26,656 --> 00:14:29,310
Oh. [chuckles]
Yes, there he is.
296
00:14:29,311 --> 00:14:32,310
[chuckles] Wiggy, wiggy, wiggy.
297
00:14:32,311 --> 00:14:35,310
Oh, I found my penis.
Thanks, TripTank.
298
00:14:35,311 --> 00:14:36,631
I'll talk to you next week, Jerry.
299
00:14:36,656 --> 00:14:38,310
[Jerry on phone] Good bye.
300
00:14:38,311 --> 00:14:40,310
I think I deserve a little sugar.
301
00:14:40,311 --> 00:14:43,310
3:00 today, the
re-re-revolution begins.
302
00:14:43,311 --> 00:14:45,951
[Roy] Apple pie forever!
303
00:14:53,461 --> 00:14:56,460
[sighs] I'm very sorry.
304
00:14:56,461 --> 00:14:58,724
He doesn't have much time.
305
00:14:58,759 --> 00:15:02,460
I think it might be
appropriate to say good-bye.
306
00:15:02,461 --> 00:15:05,460
[coughs]
307
00:15:05,461 --> 00:15:07,501
Deborah!
I didn't think you'd come.
308
00:15:07,526 --> 00:15:12,460
Come here, I need to...
I need to confess something.
309
00:15:12,461 --> 00:15:17,460
- No, granddad, rest.
- No. I won't get another chance.
310
00:15:17,461 --> 00:15:20,460
I need to tell someone before I go.
311
00:15:20,461 --> 00:15:22,460
What do you need to say, granddad?
312
00:15:22,461 --> 00:15:25,960
Well, this is difficult,
but remember that night
313
00:15:25,961 --> 00:15:29,460
your mother accused you
of stealing from her purse?
314
00:15:29,461 --> 00:15:32,460
- The $50.
- Yes.
315
00:15:32,461 --> 00:15:35,460
Yes, it was the first real
fight I ever had with her.
316
00:15:35,461 --> 00:15:37,460
I took the 50 spot.
317
00:15:37,461 --> 00:15:40,460
- What?
- For candy. Marshmallow bar.
318
00:15:40,461 --> 00:15:43,460
No. It's okay, granddad.
I forgive you.
319
00:15:43,461 --> 00:15:46,460
Also, it was me who stole the baby Jesus
320
00:15:46,461 --> 00:15:49,460
from the nativity and
replaced it with a poop.
321
00:15:49,461 --> 00:15:51,561
- Ugh!
- And I was the one who started
322
00:15:51,562 --> 00:15:53,661
the rumor that your
boyfriend had done it
323
00:15:53,662 --> 00:15:55,661
because I didn't like
the jackets he would wear.
324
00:15:55,662 --> 00:15:57,460
What? I loved Derek!
325
00:15:57,461 --> 00:16:00,460
- We were supposed...
- Deb, I'm sorry, but those jackets...
326
00:16:00,461 --> 00:16:05,460
No! No to zippers.
Too many zippers!
327
00:16:05,461 --> 00:16:07,541
Also, when that body was
found in your car last year,
328
00:16:07,542 --> 00:16:10,460
- I was involved in that.
- What?
329
00:16:10,461 --> 00:16:12,460
Not directly the
murder, but I did a good
330
00:16:12,461 --> 00:16:14,460
amount of the planning.
I thought it'd be funny.
331
00:16:14,461 --> 00:16:17,460
How could you keep this from me?
I was in court for a year!
332
00:16:17,461 --> 00:16:22,460
- You ruined my life, mother...
- [coughing] Deb, I... love... you.
333
00:16:22,461 --> 00:16:23,460
[machine beeps]
334
00:16:23,461 --> 00:16:26,460
[gasps] Oh, my God.
Grandpa?
335
00:16:26,461 --> 00:16:28,460
[man speaking on PA]
336
00:16:28,461 --> 00:16:31,460
- He's stabilizing.
- It's a miracle!
337
00:16:31,461 --> 00:16:35,460
Miss, it looks like your
granddad is gonna be just fine.
338
00:16:35,461 --> 00:16:38,460
Shit!
339
00:16:38,461 --> 00:16:40,460
[woman sobbing]
340
00:16:40,461 --> 00:16:43,461
All right, straighten up, you goons.
341
00:16:45,461 --> 00:16:49,460
We know this must be very
difficult for you, but
342
00:16:49,461 --> 00:16:52,460
which one of these sick
bastards did this to you?
343
00:16:52,461 --> 00:16:57,460
- You did!
- Oh! It was you!
344
00:16:57,461 --> 00:16:59,460
Whoops! [laughs]
345
00:16:59,461 --> 00:17:01,460
Oh, my.
You look better.
346
00:17:01,461 --> 00:17:04,089
You look like you've shed a few LBs.
347
00:17:04,124 --> 00:17:07,175
Make note that she
pointed out number three.
348
00:17:07,210 --> 00:17:10,460
- Huh?
- Anyways, what are you doing later?
349
00:17:11,161 --> 00:17:13,461
[Steve humming]
350
00:17:15,461 --> 00:17:19,460
Time to revolutionize, Steve.
It's 3:00. Re-Re-Revolution.
351
00:17:19,461 --> 00:17:21,460
That name makes me
very uncomfortable, Roy.
352
00:17:21,461 --> 00:17:23,460
Come on! Just like we planned.
353
00:17:23,461 --> 00:17:25,460
What plan? I didn't
plan anything with you.
354
00:17:25,461 --> 00:17:27,460
Whoo! Here we go!
355
00:17:27,461 --> 00:17:30,460
U-S-A! U-S-A!
356
00:17:30,461 --> 00:17:32,460
Jump on a desk and
chant? That's the plan?
357
00:17:32,461 --> 00:17:35,460
Yeah, and blow up the building.
Come on, light me up!
358
00:17:35,461 --> 00:17:37,460
- Duke boys-style.
- What in the name of
359
00:17:37,461 --> 00:17:39,460
Mikhail Gorbachev is going on in here?
360
00:17:39,461 --> 00:17:42,460
- There he is. That's the guy you want.
- Steve! You sold me out!
361
00:17:42,461 --> 00:17:44,460
[grunts]
Take him to torture chamber.
362
00:17:44,461 --> 00:17:49,460
Nadia is quite skilled
with pickax and laser beam.
363
00:17:49,461 --> 00:17:51,460
You sons of bitches expect me to talk?
364
00:17:51,461 --> 00:17:56,460
No, Mr. Roy.
We expect you to die. James Bond.
365
00:17:56,461 --> 00:17:57,460
[Roy] Avenge me!
366
00:17:57,461 --> 00:17:59,460
[Yuri laughing]
367
00:17:59,461 --> 00:18:02,460
Hmm. I wonder if selling
out my best friend
368
00:18:02,461 --> 00:18:06,815
in the world to the KGB was a bad idea.
Hmm. [static crackles]
369
00:18:18,584 --> 00:18:19,744
[men] There once was a baby
370
00:18:19,769 --> 00:18:21,583
? Who never left his womb ?
371
00:18:21,584 --> 00:18:24,583
? Now he's 34 and not
going anywhere soon ?
372
00:18:24,584 --> 00:18:27,583
? It's Ma and Frankie ?
373
00:18:27,584 --> 00:18:28,828
That's me. [chuckles]
374
00:18:30,584 --> 00:18:33,583
- Let's get a cat, Frankie.
- Cats are gay, Ma.
375
00:18:33,584 --> 00:18:35,583
- I want a cobra.
- A what? No, no, no.
376
00:18:35,584 --> 00:18:40,583
We're not getting a cob... [belches]
Did you shave, like I asked you?
377
00:18:40,584 --> 00:18:42,583
- Yeah.
- Frankie, don't lie to me.
378
00:18:42,584 --> 00:18:43,583
I'm not lying.
379
00:18:43,584 --> 00:18:45,583
Don't try and pull a
fast one in my stomach.
380
00:18:45,584 --> 00:18:47,583
I only get heartburn when
you're growing a beard.
381
00:18:47,584 --> 00:18:50,583
So you believe your
stomach over your own son?
382
00:18:50,584 --> 00:18:51,584
No.
383
00:18:55,584 --> 00:18:57,583
Now, be careful. Don't cut yourself.
384
00:18:57,584 --> 00:18:58,744
And make sure you get it all.
385
00:18:58,769 --> 00:19:01,583
Come on, it makes me
look like an action star.
386
00:19:01,584 --> 00:19:04,583
You don't need a beard to look
like an action star, my boy.
387
00:19:04,584 --> 00:19:06,583
Now shave it.
388
00:19:06,584 --> 00:19:09,583
- Ma.
- My womb, my rules.
389
00:19:09,584 --> 00:19:11,583
You know, I'm getting
tired of all your rules.
390
00:19:11,584 --> 00:19:13,583
Yeah, well, find a new place to live,
391
00:19:13,584 --> 00:19:15,583
then you can grow all
the beards you want.
392
00:19:15,584 --> 00:19:17,583
What'd you just say, Ma?
393
00:19:17,584 --> 00:19:18,583
- Nothing.
- I heard you.
394
00:19:18,584 --> 00:19:20,583
You said I should find
somewhere else to live.
395
00:19:20,584 --> 00:19:23,583
- No, I didn't.
- Swear on Grandpa's grave!
396
00:19:23,584 --> 00:19:26,583
I didn't mean it, Frankie.
397
00:19:26,584 --> 00:19:28,583
Yes, you did.
Fine, I'll move out.
398
00:19:28,584 --> 00:19:31,583
No, don't! Don't leave.
Frankie!
399
00:19:31,584 --> 00:19:33,583
Frankie?
400
00:19:33,584 --> 00:19:37,583
I didn't mean it either, Ma.
I love it in here.
401
00:19:37,584 --> 00:19:41,583
- You can stay as long as you want.
- Thanks, Ma.
402
00:19:41,584 --> 00:19:43,583
Shave the whole damn thing, Frankie.
403
00:19:43,584 --> 00:19:46,583
Ah, crap, Ma!
Can't I keep the 'stache?
404
00:19:46,584 --> 00:19:49,584
- Frankie!
- Fine.
405
00:19:50,601 --> 00:19:52,583
[clatter]
406
00:19:52,584 --> 00:19:54,583
[Frankie] I need more shaving cream.
407
00:19:54,584 --> 00:19:57,583
? It's Ma and Frankie ?
408
00:19:57,584 --> 00:19:59,583
Oh, no, Steve, what did you do?
You sold out Roy.
409
00:19:59,584 --> 00:20:02,583
And for what? Financial
equality and black-market Levis?
410
00:20:02,584 --> 00:20:05,583
What a joke!
No! It's time to do something.
411
00:20:05,584 --> 00:20:09,583
Now is the time for Steve
to step up for America!
412
00:20:09,584 --> 00:20:10,583
For freedom! And...
413
00:20:10,584 --> 00:20:12,583
That's what I told
that Sizzler waitress,
414
00:20:12,584 --> 00:20:14,184
"Honey, you keep
tugging on it like that,
415
00:20:14,209 --> 00:20:16,583
it's gonna spit at you."
[laughs]
416
00:20:16,584 --> 00:20:20,583
Roy W. Winchester,
you are scoundrel and gentleman.
417
00:20:20,584 --> 00:20:22,583
I'm going to miss you
418
00:20:22,584 --> 00:20:25,583
now that every Russian
withdraw from America.
419
00:20:25,584 --> 00:20:26,944
Wait, what?
What happened in there?
420
00:20:26,969 --> 00:20:29,583
Oh, I taught Yuri how to
parallel park his Countach.
421
00:20:29,584 --> 00:20:31,583
And I also banged the hell out of Nadia.
422
00:20:31,584 --> 00:20:34,583
Da. The Russian people realize that any
423
00:20:34,584 --> 00:20:37,583
country that could
produce someone so witty,
424
00:20:37,584 --> 00:20:41,583
so charming, and so
sexually virile as your Roy
425
00:20:41,584 --> 00:20:45,583
- must never be stifled.
- I [bleep] our way to freedom, man!
426
00:20:45,584 --> 00:20:48,583
- And here is gift for you, Roy.
- Oh, you shouldn't have.
427
00:20:48,584 --> 00:20:51,583
See?
Is Roy inside of Roy
428
00:20:51,584 --> 00:20:55,583
inside of Roy and
inside of smallest Roy,
429
00:20:55,584 --> 00:20:56,583
is bear.
430
00:20:56,584 --> 00:20:58,583
That's so damn cute.
It looks like a little Roy.
431
00:20:58,584 --> 00:21:01,583
So long, America.
Enjoy your freedom.
432
00:21:01,584 --> 00:21:04,950
- And enjoy your Roy.
- What a country!
433
00:21:04,951 --> 00:21:06,301
Jaka smena!
434
00:21:06,302 --> 00:21:09,048
And Steve, we have not forgotten you.
435
00:21:09,049 --> 00:21:12,048
- Here is rock from Chernobyl.
- Oh.
436
00:21:12,049 --> 00:21:15,647
- Is key chain for keys.
- Oh, great! [chuckles]
437
00:21:15,688 --> 00:21:17,545
I'll put it right here
in my front pocket.
438
00:21:17,607 --> 00:21:20,291
Whoa. That's warm.
Warm rock.
439
00:21:20,459 --> 00:21:21,621
sync & correction by f1nc0
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440
00:21:21,671 --> 00:21:26,221
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