Original subtitles

[SpongeBob] I'm ready!

[grunts]

[SpongeBob sings theme]

[narrator] The temperate, pristine,

shallow seas of the tropics.

A place of unparalleled beauty and fecundity.

These islands play host to a vibrant ecosystem below.

A vast organism known as the coral reef.

Life in this watery metropolis

thrives among the twists and turns,

nooks and crannies and back alleys.

And near the reef's edge, the varied and colorful terrain

gives way to a small town by the name of…

Bikini Bottom.

[clam crowing]

Here, one can find crustaceans…

-[coins clinking] -Money! Money! Money!

-…sea stars… -Mmm.

Aww!

-…octopi… -[clarinet playing off key]

…various and diverse plankton…

[cackling]

…the occasional squirrel/scientist…

Good morning, Otto.

You're almost ready for the world!

Good morning. The machines will rise

to become masters over all organic life!

Huh?

…and, oh, yes… the sea sponge.

This one lives happily with his beloved pet snail…

-…Gary. -[meows]

[SpongeBob snoring]

Oh, morning, Gary!

Eww, snail trail. Yucky.

But oddly soothing.

Good morning, Patrick!

Good morning, SpongeBob!

Good morning, Patrick!

Good morning, SpongeBob!

Good morning, Patrick!

Good morning, SpongeBob!

Good morning, Patrick!

Would you two knuckleheads keep it down out there?!

[both] Good morning, Squidward!

[yells]

[SpongeBob] Come on, Gary! Breakfast!

["It's Always Summer in Bikini Bottom" playing]

-[belches] -You're welcome.

[laughs] Who wants a belly scratch?

I love you so much, Gary.

[meows]

What's this?

Okay, that'll come out later.

♪ Living like I'm on the edge Of surreality ♪

Morning, SpongeBob.

♪ But I know everything is gonna be cool ♪

♪ As long as you're here with me ♪

[whistling melody]

♪ We're gonna lighten up Each other's load ♪

♪ When bumps and curves Come on the road ♪

♪ 'Cause we are all in it together ♪

♪ And that's forever ♪

♪ It's always summer In Bikini Bottom ♪

[laughing]

♪ And in December ♪

♪ We're singing la-di-da-da ♪

♪ It's always summer in Bikini ♪

♪ In Bikini Bottom ♪

♪ It doesn't get better than that ♪

-[clock chimes, whirs] -Money! Money! Money!

[cackling]

Ooh! I'm late if I'm gonna be early.

-[meows sadly] -Oh, don't worry, Gare-Bear.

I'll be back before you can say,

"Why did he cruelly abandon me like that?"

[laughs]

[meows sadly]

[bell chimes]

[sighs] Another day, another migraine.

At least I'll get a little peace and quiet before that little--

-Good morning, Squidward! -[shrieks]

And isn't it a lovely morning?

Nope. Not talking to you.

I'm especially not getting involved

in any of your nonsense today.

I always end up with the wrong end of the stick.

Okay, Squidward.

[sighs]

But you should know that Old Gertrude's

getting pretty finicky these days.

Old Gertrude? Who the kelp is that?

You've worked with her for years!

She's the eight-burner grill in the kitchen.

It never ends.

Anyway, to fire her up,

you've got to spark her flints manually and then…

jiggle her gas jets just a little.

And then read her favorite story:

"The Little Griddle Who Could."

Chapter Two:

"But we are fresh from the freezer," said the patties,

and we're c-c-c-cold."

"Don't worry, I'll get you nice and warm,"

said the Little Griddle.

What'd I just say? I am not interested.

Don't involve me!

[groans]

What'd you say, Squidward? Squidward?

Okay, Squidward, doesn't matter. I'll always be here anyway.

Unfortunately.

Stop yer loafing, Mr. Squidward!

There's work to be done around here!

Attention, Krusty crew!

All hands on deck, front and center!

Aye-aye, Cap'n Krabs, sir!

Now, who's ready to set sail

on another adventure of making me money?

-Get moving, sailor! -Sir, yes, sir!

Raise the colors!

Hoist the mainsail!

Deploy smokestacks!

[all yelling]

[chuckles] Oh, never gets old.

[Plankton cackles]

Enjoy it while you can, Mr. Eugene Krabs.

-[cackles] -[beeping]

What the…?

[growling] Stupid machine!

Where was I? Oh, yeah.

[cackling]

Tonight I launch Evil Plan Number 3,087

and finally take possession

of the Krabby Patty secret formula!

Great. Another evil plan.

What's wrong with another evil plan?

Oh, nothing, it's just we're running out of room on the Wall of Failure.

Wall of Fai--?

[servos whirring]

Karen, why do you keep collecting these?

Heh. Memories.

Hmm! Well, tonight… is gonna be different.

Hee-hee! You see, Karen, my computer wife,

every time I've tried to steal that formula,

Krabs has tried to thwart me.

Mm-mm, not Mr. Krabs.

But tonight, that all-- What?

It's not Mr. Krabs, sweetheart. I've checked the data.

It's SpongeBob who's the problem.

Hello.

Oh, fish sticks.

What could that boob have to do with it?

Boob savant, you mean.

SpongeBob is the one who keeps foiling your plans,

not Mr. Krabs.

Oh, nonsense.

It's Krabs, Karen, I know it is.

And tonight, I will finally extract…

my revenge!

[evil laughter]

Will you be late?

You can't put a clock on genius, Karen.

-[bell dings] -Order up! Move it, let's go!

Aye-aye, Chef!

One for you. Enjoy your Krabby Patty. Enjoy!

[rings bell] Order up!

Come on, SpongeBob!

-Coming, Fry Cook SpongeBob! -Coming, Fry Cook SpongeBob!

[all laughing]

[sighs]

-[bell rings] -Hiya, SpongeBob!

[all] Hi, Sandy!

Did you know that in the future everything will be automated?

-Really? Even stomachaches? -[laughs]

I'm gonna see if Mr. Krabs wants to be

an early adopter of my new technology.

Wait, what?

You're gonna replace me with a robot? Don't do it!

No, silly, that's gonna happen anyway.

This is something much more innovative and start-uppy.

You have sixty seconds.

Its name is Otto!

-[whirring] -My name is Otto.

How may I serve you?

It's an automated restaurant owner.

Hmm. Automated?

Sounds expensive. Not interested.

Otto doesn't require a salary.

And it can make cold, heartless decisions

like firing people, because it doesn't have a heart.

-Ow. -You don't say.

-You're fired. -Amazing!

I love money. I love money.

A cold, unfeeling mechanical robot

after me own cold, unfeeling crustacean heart.

I'll take it and nurture it

and I will love Otto like he was me own son.

Thank you, Daddy.

Yippee! You're not gonna regret this, Mr. Krabs.

You're fired.

Oh, I could listen to that all day.

[Otto] No, seriously.

We decided to go in a different direction.

You're fired.

[nervous chuckle] What?

Don't make me call security.

-You're fired. -No, yer fired!

-No, you're fired. -Yer fired, ye infernal machine!

-I'm not fired, you're fired. -[shrieks]

Robot abuse. Robot abuse.

-Huh? -Huh?

[chuckles]

[slurring] You're fired.

[Plankton] What the heck is this thing?

[Karen] I don't know, but I'm taking it home.

-It's so cute. -What?!

Come on, little robot. Let's get you some supper.

-Not even funny, Karen. -Quiet, Plankton.

-Shh, Don't listen to him. -Karen!

[Otto] I love you, Mom.

[sighs]

SpongeBob! Be sure this kitchen's in shipshape shape

before ye head out, boy.

[French accent] Oui, oui, Monsieur Boss Man Krabs.

Once I am done here, zees kitchen

shall be completely spotless.

-[giggling] -Whatever.

Oh! I found this uneaten Krabby Patty on table six.

You know what to do with it.

Right away, Mr. K!

I'll see that it's disposed of properly.

[shrieks] Who said anything about disposing of?

We'll sell it again tomorrow…

on our legacy artisanal vintage throwback menu.

[both laugh]

Good night!

Oh! I better start cleaning.

[humming]

I'm ready!

Whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa!

Well, good night, Gertrude!

Good night, fryer. Good night, patty.

Good night, pickles. Mwah!

[door shuts]

[lid bangs, rattles]

Good night, SpongeBob.

Hello, Krabby Patty!

And now…

Just got to get it.

[cackling] Yes!

Wait, wait. No.

No. No!

Stupid coin-operated…

Come here, come here…

Oh!

Bingo!

Come to Papa.

In just a few minutes the formula will be mine!

[beeping]

[printer whirring]

Yes! Krabs's fast-food empire will fail

and I will rule Bikini Bottom,

as its new slop king!

[guffawing]

-I knew it! -[yelling]

[Plankton groans]

-The formula! -I knew I left my keys in here.

Oh, silly me.

Come here, you! [grunting]

Huh. No keys. That's weird. Where could they be?

Yes! No.

Ooh! Ow!

[SpongeBob] Keys, where are you?

-Come on, show me keys! -[screams]

[gasps] Gotcha!

Ha-ha!

[whirring]

No. No!

[screams]

Ow.

They were in my pocket the whole time!

[laughs]

[Karen] It's SpongeBob who's the problem.

I get it.

[narrator] Meanwhile, at the palace of King Poseidon…

…ruler of the Seven Seas.

[Poseidon] Chancellor!

-Chancellor! -[Chancellor humming]

Chancellor!

Yo. What's up, sire? You sent for me?

Chancellor, look. Look at me!

3,000 years old and check out my skin.

It's like a baby's butt.

Ageless, sire. Looking fresh.

Ha! I owe it to my subjects to look fabulous,

don't you think?

There are other obligations, sire.

Like ruling and stuff. Let's see…

I need your signature on these taxes, decrees,

this here declaration of war and my paycheck.

-Is that right? -Yeah.

-[both chuckle] -Very good.

[both laughing]

Oh, Chancellor,

when will you learn to focus on what really matters?

A monarch's regime is only as powerful

as his skin care regime.

Word. Mm-hm.

You know, some say I have a face like a Greek god.

Well, you are a Greek god, so…

Whoa! Wait, is…

-Is that a wrinkle? -Where?

It is! It's a wrinkle!

I look like an old avocado

that's been left and forgotten in the fridge!

Here it comes.

I'm ugly!

Oh, now, where is it?

The crawly thing with the round shell and the eyes.

-Where is it? -[playing fanfare]

Here you go, sire. Your Royal Snail.

Oh! Oh, oh, thank you.

This mollusk has the rejuvenating power

-of a thousand facials. -[meows]

What?! Is it empty?

[coughing]

Take it away!

Bring me another sea snail at once!

-[indistinct whispering] -Uh-oh.

-Chancellor! -Okay, uh…

Full disclosure, man, uh… We're out of snails.

What?!

In fact, the entire snail population has been, uh…

What's the word? Oh, yeah… depleted.

You're telling me there are…

-no more snails? -There are no more snails.

-And you're confident of that? -Relatively confident.

[shrieking]

Oh, Chancellor, for the love of Hermes,

my kingdom for a snail!

No, no, no. I'm being hasty.

Half my kingdom for a snail!

No, no, no, a boon. Yes.

I'll grant a boon to whomever shall bring me a snail.

Gotcha. I'll draw up the decree, sire.

-[whip cracks] -[whinnying]

A Royal Decree from King Poseidon?

"To all citizens of the sea,

the King requires a snail at once…

blah blah blah skin care blah blah--"

Wait a minute.

A snail?

No, it's too perfect.

Get rid of Gary, get rid of SpongeBob.

Oh, yeah.

[cackling]

Gary, I'm home!

Gare-Bear? Hey, where are you, buddy?

Gary?

Gary?

You must be in the-- No.

Gary?

Gary?

Gary?

Gary? Gary, Gary, Gary! Gary!

Gary! Where's Gary?

Gary!

[panting]

Gary, where are you?

[panting]

[sniffles] Oh, Gary.

[sobbing]

I loved you since the first day we met.

[children yelling]

[snail meows]

Hello, little snail.

[giggles]

[meows]

[laughs]

What's your name?

[meows]

"Gary", huh?

-[meows] -Well, hi, Gary.

Gary, do you want to be friends?

[meows]

Me, too.

[sobbing loudly]

SpongeBob! SpongeBob!

Hey, SpongeBob! I found this flyer.

Gary's missing!

[SpongeBob sniffling]

I know, Patrick.

SpongeBob?

Oh, Patrick, if something were to happen to Gary, I, well…

I don't know what I'd do.

I'm sorry, buddy.

Hey! Maybe he left a clue.

-[toy squeaks] -Oh!

[gasps] Look! A clue!

[gasps] Gary's been snailnapped!

And taken to The Lost City of Atlantic City!

[chewing] Oh, really?

That's awesome!

[spits] Now we know where he is.

Mm.

Not really that awesome, Patrick.

Listen to this.

"Made famous by the glitzy palace Poseidon calls home.

The Lost City of Atlantic City is a scary,

vice-ridden cesspool of moral depravity."

Wow. All that, and it's lost, too?

"King Poseidon has proven himself a whimsical tyrant,

known for executing his subjects by beheading them

in a flamboyant floor show extravaganza.

Our advice for those travelling here is…

…don't."

[gulps] This King Poseidon sounds like a tough customer.

Oh, yeah. Tough.

Aw, so what? This is about friends.

And friends don't let friends become somebody else's face cream!

Not what friends do.

-So what if it's dangerous and scary? -So what!

What is stopping me right now from going there, rescuing Gary

and standing up to this King Poseidon, huh?

-I don't know! -Well, I do!

-What is it? -I…

…don't have the courage.

[sniffling]

[wailing]

Oh, Gary.

Tartar sauce!

What's the next best thing to courage?

-Resolve? -No.

-Fortitude? -Nah.

-Commitment? -Nope.

-Wherewithal? Bravery? -Mm-mm. No.

-Valor. Grit? -What? No.

-Heroism? Gallantry? -Uh-uh. Nah.

-Moxie. -A buddy! A wingman!

A wingman?

A friend.

Really, Patrick? You'd go with me?

Yeah… right behind you!

Do I smell a road trip?

[gasps] That could be my breath.

[both laughing]

Okey-dokey.

Now, let's drill down on a plan.

Pat, you're in charge of transpo.

Just remember, I don't drive and you don't have a car.

Oh…

[motor rumbling]

Beep, beep!

Hey, boys!

Don't know if you have any use for this old thing,

if you're going on any trips or journeys

or quests or rescue missions.

But if you are, Otto is your ticket.

[both] Otto!

Just tell ol' Otto where you want to go and it will take you there!

All aboard.

-You're fired. -Cool!

A self-driving boat.

Thanks, Plankton. You're the best!

I know, I know. Bye-bye.

-Otto. Find, Gary. -You got it.

[tires screeching]

No, Patrick. You got to be more specific.

Otto, find Gary the snail.

[Otto] Recalculating.

[Patrick and SpongeBob yelling]

Ugh. Here, let me try.

Take them to The Lost City of Atlantic City

and don't ever come back!

Never hurts to employ a little hyperbole.

It is my pleasure to serve you.

[both yelling]

[cackles] Bon voyage, boys.

I'm ready. I'm ready. They're dead.

This is gonna be like one of those buddy movies.

We're the buddies!

[chuckles] Not sure that really applies, Patrick, but--

Why not?

We're two dudes setting out with a common goal.

We'll argue about something dumb, fight and break up…

Only to come back together when we realize

neither could do it without the other.

It's simple yet magical.

[SpongeBob] Yeah.

It feels more to me like the journey of a singular hero,

who against all odds, triumphs over adversity.

[snorts] I say buddy movie

and you say, oh, whatever that dumb thing was you just said.

Oh, really? Dumb thing?

I'm dumb? Oh, I love your sense of irony, Patrick.

Thank you. I love my sense of ironing, too.

Maybe if your head wasn't packed full of sand,

you could have ironing!

Well, better a head full of sand

than a head full of rocks, like yours!

Ah! That's it! Stop the car!

Yeah, stop the car, Otto!

[brakes squeal]

[both yelling]

[rueful chuckle] Sorry, Patrick. Really.

I shouldn't have said you have rocks in your head.

I shouldn't have said your brain was made of sand.

That was mean and dumb.

Okay. Let's just forget it, huh?

Never happened!

[grunts] Uh-huh.

["On The Road Again" playing]

OTTO: Hop on in, guys.

♪ On the road again ♪

[Otto] Come on, guys.

Ha, ha, ha!

Nope.

♪ The life I love is making Music with my friends ♪

♪ And I can't wait to get On the road again ♪

[Otto laughing]

[overlapping chatter]

-Krabby! [yelling] -One at a time, people.

One at a time. [chuckles]

Squidward, why ain't I seeing Krabby Patties

rolling out the service window?

-Where's SpongeBob? -How should I know?

And, frankly, you won't find me complaining.

Heh-heh!

SpongeBob! What's with yer lollygaggin' boy?

SpongeBob?

SpongeBob? SpongeBob?

Get out here this instant! That's a direct order!

I don't get it. He has never missed a workday.

[shrieks]

[all chanting] Krabby Patty! Krabby Patty!

Hey! Where are my Krabby Patties?

-How should I know? -It's coming, sir, it's coming!

Squidward, get in that kitchen and whip up some Krabby Patties.

All right, Gertrude… Now, what did he say?

Uh, spark her flints.

Uh, jiggle her jets. And… oh, yes!

"The Little Griddle Who Could."

"We're fresh from the freezer," said the little--

-Mr. Krabs, we've got a-- -Squidward!

Ow! Save… Ow! …yourself!

Oh!

We wouldn't be in this mess if SpongeBob was around.

Where is SpongeBob?

[hawk cries]

[both snoring]

[both gasp]

[Patrick] Where are we?

We must be dreaming!

[chortles] You amuse me, SpongeBob.

Two people can't have the same dream,

let alone be in that same dream at the same time.

That would be philosophically untenable.

Indeed. You proffer a metaphysical conundrum.

Wait, we're talking like smart people.

This must be a dream!

Plus, we're on the surface and we're…

[inhales] …breathing air, so…

-…yeah! -[gasping]

Air?!

[both laughing]

Hey, town up ahead!

[SpongeBob] "Goner Gulch." Ha! That's a funny name.

"The Inferno Saloon."

"Ye who enter here abandon all hope."

Guess that's another way of saying "no public restrooms".

Hello?

[voice echoing]

[hawk cries]

-Otto, keep it close. -Yeah, don't go anywhere.

Go anywhere.

It is my pleasure to serve. You're fired.

Oh! How are we gonna find Gary now?

-Maybe Otto just went to park. -[both yell]

[both shriek]

Hello.

[yelps] Who are you?

I am a simple tumbleweed. Call me Sage.

-Sage. -Hey, Sage. Good name.

Thanks. I'm made out of sage, and I am a sage.

So it works out pretty well.

-[eye glint chimes] -I'm Patrick!

My name means "toaster" in Celtic.

Pretty sure it doesn't.

This dream you share has a hidden purpose, young seekers.

Oh! So we are in a dream!

And I, friend, am the dream weaver.

♪ Ohh, dream weaver… ♪

Whoa, are you inside our minds right now?

-Yes, Patrick. -Wow!

I am here to help you on your journey, SpongeBob.

But first, you must accept a challenge.

But, I just want to find Gary and bring him home.

-Do you love Gary? -More than anything!

And, young sponge, once you meet this challenge

you may pass on to find your precious Gary.

-Got it. Right. -Oh, right, that makes sense.

[spits]

Eww.

[Sage] Take this challenge coin.

Challenge coin!

It will give you courage when bravery is in short supply.

-Whoa! -Cool!

Now, your challenge lies behind these saloon doors.

-Let's go! Come on, Patrick. -Wait.

-Let's kill this challenge. -[Sage] Wait, guys!

[Patrick] Challenge coin coming through!

I didn't give you your challenge!

Patience, Sage. Patience.

Huh.

[piano playing]

Oh, cool. One of those old player pianos.

[laughter]

-[both yelp] -Or…

one of those old piano players!

[high-pitched cackling]

[both screaming] Scary people!

Flesh-eating cowboy pirate zombies, to be precise.

[stuttering] Flesh-eating cowboy pirate zombies?!

This is your challenge.

Free these zombies from their earthly binds

and release their souls.

If this weren't a dream, I'd be freaking out right now!

Oh, yeah!

[giggles] We are in a dream.

-[laughing] -La, la-la, la-la, la, la.

Okay, everyone!

We're here to release your imprisoned souls.

[thunder crashing]

What was that?

Ah, El Diablo the Wicked approaches.

♪ El Diablo El Diablo ♪

♪ El Diablo El Diablo ♪

♪ Very bad man ♪

El Diablo?

Master of this zombie crew.

-Uh-oh. -He sounds bad.

Good luck.

Patrick, the zombies are swarming!

-They're gonna eat our brains! -[shrieks]

[dance music playing]

♪ Dance! ♪

♪ Dance! ♪

♪ Boss Dogg ♪

♪ Even when I'm on I'm off, y'all ♪

♪ Lookin' for the King It'll cost y'all ♪

♪ You better leave now are you lost, dawg? ♪

♪ The Zombie King Yeah, I hear him coming ♪

♪ OG ghoul with a thirst For the run-in ♪

♪ You in the wrong bar Wrong town ♪

♪ Got a spot to fill ♪

♪ The real deal Coming down that hill ♪

♪ Your brains for breakfast ♪

♪ Soul on the menu Major checklist ♪

♪ Ghouls, goblins Guard the exit ♪

♪ The fire in his eyes Ain't hard to catch it ♪

♪ El Diablo, the haunting Taunting veterano ♪

♪ It's scary, I know ♪

♪ The Goner Gulch Where the drama is ♪

♪ But don't hate the game We in the zombie biz ♪

-♪ We feel the love ♪ -♪ Yes, sir ♪

-♪ When we all dance together ♪ -♪ What? What? What? ♪

♪ Together ♪

♪ We made it, made it Up all life long ♪

♪ We won't stop… ♪

♪ El Diablo is here! ♪

-♪ Dance! ♪ -♪ We the baddest crew ♪

-♪ Hands high! ♪ -♪ What's eating you? ♪

-♪ Us! ♪ -♪ We comin' through ♪

♪ Killing it is how we do! ♪

♪ El Diablo's on his way Smell the odor of decay ♪

♪ Dance, we came to slay ♪

♪ 'Cause killing it Is how we do! ♪

[gasping]

What did I tell you about dancing when I'm not here?!

But, boss, it's Freestyle Friday!

Oh. Okay, my bad.

Hey. Yo, SpongeBob? I got to dip.

Y'all got this.

Bring the prisoners to my office.

Huh. What'd that guy mean by prisoners?

[yelling]

[knife sharpening]

So, you dare to enter the ghost town of the damned,

barge into my demon's lair…

telling my zombies…

that you're gonna free their souls…

[cackles]

like it ain't no thing!

Well, uh, Mr. Diablo, the good thing is we're in a dream.

-A shared dream. -Right, a shared dream.

So there's no need to get all bent out of shape about it.

-It's not real! -'Cause it's a dream.

Who told you that? That crazy bush guy?

-Uh… -Maybe.

What he should've told you was it's not a dream!

[shrieking]

He might be right, Patrick. That felt pretty real.

Yeah, that really hurt.

[screaming]

Run!

Hang on, Patrick.

Foul demon, be gone!

What the heck is that?

Huh?

What do I look like, a parking meter?

But Sage said--

Coin laundry's right down the street.

[laughs]

That's pathetic!

[yells]

[screams]

Get away from those curtains!

-What? These curtains? -Oh, these are nice curtains.

Oh, they are. So soft.

-[hissing] -[screams]

-That's weird. -[screams]

These curtains are making a strange sound.

[shrieking]

I think the curtain rod needs some oil.

Once the rod goes, you're probably better off

getting a whole new set of curtains.

Oh, Mr. Diablo, do you have any other cur--

Oh!

Patrick, I think we should get out of here!

Hey, everybody!

El Diablo says he doesn't want to be disturbed.

Yeah, he's feeling a little burnt…

[grunts]

-…out. -Toodle-oo!

-Buh-bye! -See you!

Take care!

Thank ye, SpongeBob.

We're finally free!

Huh?

Adiós, mateys!

-Thanks, SpongeBob. -We're finally free.

Good luck on your journey, boys.

Do you know what this means?

We passed the challenge!

Now we can find Gary! Yay!

♪ El Diablo El Diablo ♪

♪ El Diablo El Diablo ♪

[yelling]

Otto!

Howdy, partners.

Wait! Can't forget the "courage."

[growling]

-[Patrick] It's him! -Yikes!

[Patrick] Come on, Otto. Let's go!

[SpongeBob] Come on, come on, Otto!

-Step on it, Otto! Go! Go! -Faster! Go faster!

Go, Otto, go!

♪ Very bad man ♪

Faster!

Wake up. Your dream is fired.

-[murmuring] Faster -Huh? Oh!

Phew! We're back on the bottom.

See, Patrick? It must have been a dream.

[Sage] More of a vision really.

-Sage? -Oh. Hi, Sage.

-Hello. -You are real.

As real as your desire to see that which you cannot.

Yeah, well, that which I cannot see is Gary.

I got to know what's happening.

This wish I grant you.

Through the mystical fabric of the fourth dimension,

you may now view what's happening

at the same time as things are happening to you.

Behold. The Window of Meanwhile.

The Window of Meanwhile!

What's it do?

It's like the Video On Demand service of parallel action.

Have a look.

-Whoa… -Hey, Patrick. Down in front.

[Gary purring]

Look, Patrick, there he is!

Yeah, he looks all right.

-Hey, Gary! -[meows]

[SpongeBob] He doesn't look so bad.

He looks pretty comfy!

-No reason to panic. -Yeah!

He looks like he's well taken care of.

Look what I found. Snail time.

-[Poseidon] Hello, precious. -[meows]

Gary?

I hope you don't run out of juice, or you'll end up like the others.

[SpongeBob] What?!

[whip cracks]

Oh, yes.

-Gary! Gary, hello? -Gary!

Okay, the Window of Meanwhile doesn't really work that way.

-Gary, run! Get out of there! -Gary!

It's not a video chat app like Skype or FaceTime, or anything.

-We got to hurry! Gary! -Over here! Gary!

[Sage, echoing] Totally can't hear you.

[SpongeBob] Hello!

[bells chime]

Hello, Eugene, old friend!

How's business?

[laughs]

Bad? Good.

Well, that's restaurants for you, huh?

Feast or famine. [chuckles]

But I digress.

Why don't you be a good little loser and hand over the secret formula?

[sighs deeply]

Take it. It's yours.

Wha…

Take it all.

Wait…

You're giving up?

Oh, Plankton…

I wouldn't expect you to understand.

But somehow, without SpongeBob,

this whole thing…

just doesn't make sense anymore!

You can't do that.

I've spent my entire career waiting for this moment

and you roll over like a harpooned whale?

I won't let you rob me of my vengeance!

Give my regards to your lovely wife.

[sniffles, moans]

Huh.

This doesn't, uh…

feel quite as good as, uh…

Yay, I won.

[Otto] Congratulations.

You have arrived at your destination.

[SpongeBob] The Lost City of Atlantic City!

[Patrick] It's pretty.

Beware, young seekers.

All is distortion.

If you aren't careful, The Lost City will draw you

into her fickle embrace,

blind you with her dazzling distractions

and tempt you with her fleeting games of chance.

Whatever you do, don't be led astray,

don't lose focus and don't forget why you came here.

-Don't forget. Good one. -Thanks, Sage-meister.

-I think we got this. -Yeah, Sage.

I mean, you've been pretty good up until now, but,

I love Gary more than anything in the whole world!

And we came here to get him back.

[Sage] Okay.

I wouldn't worry about us losing any focus.

Oh, boy.

We got focus to burn, baby--

[both] Whoa!

-Cotton candy! -Ice cream!

Churros!

["Livin' La Vida Loca" playing]

-Oh! Oh! Oh! -Yay!

Yumm!

[screams]

[munching]

[yelling]

[munching]

What's up?

Isn't it cool how they let you trade in your real money

for these little plastic circles?

[Otto] I love money!

Casinos are magical.

Would you mind if I put this down, sir?

Place it wherever you like.

Just put it on L.

Patrick, that's not an L, that's a seven.

Seven starts with an L? That's weird.

Seven!

More plastic circles!

-Who are you guys? -[all] We're your entourage.

[all] ♪ Upside, inside out ♪

♪ She's livin' la vida loca ♪

Place your bets.

Come on, seven!

Lucky seven! Winner!

[cheering]

♪ Living la vida loca! ♪

♪ Living la vida loca! ♪

Seven! Seven! Seven!

[Patrick chanting] Seven. Seven. Seven.

[all cheering]

-Hey, Patrick! -What's up, Spongey-Dawg?

-I lost all my money. -Me, too!

[entourage groans]

[laughing]

[humming]

-[SpongeBob coughing] -Party people!

[exclaiming]

Oh. Where is everybody?

[groans, coughing]

I feel like I swallowed a sea urchin.

Me, too. [coughs]

Hey, I did swallow a sea urchin!

Well, well, well.

Sagester! Good to see ya, pal!

Nice work, boys.

Way to take my pearls of wisdom and flush them down the toilet.

Oh, no. Wait, did we…?

Lose focus like I told you not to?

Focus? Huh.

Let me jangle your minds.

You came here to get back something you lost.

-Uh… -Hm.

Something you love.

[both] Gary!

Yeah, Gary.

Seriously, it's hard enough being stuck in a tumbleweed…

Patrick, we got to find Gary!

…but dealing with you two makes me want to light myself on fire.

Sage, buddy.

Can we please look into the Window of Meanwhile

one more time to see where Gary is?

No, it's not an on-demand service.

And especially not for people who pass out and sleep in their own vomit all night.

It's not vomit. It's drool.

[grumbling]

Fortunately for you, you woke up right here.

On the steps of Poseidon's Palace.

-[SpongeBob] Whoa. -[Patrick] Wow.

Now get it together. Go!

All right, Gary. We're coming for ya!

Boy, oh, boy. Hey…

Almost there, Gary.

Hey, hop on!

They're just giving these things away at the grocery store.

Good call, buddy.

Hot stuff coming through!

Get a load of this place, Patrick.

Hello.

We would like an audience with His Majesty King Poseidon.

Oh, sure. Let me check. Two rubes to see Poseidon. No.

[both yelling]

Hey, dude. We're the Blue Fin Group.

Of course. Right this--

The Blue Fin Group! No!

Hey!

[yelling]

-[band finishing tune] -Hey, hey, hey!

I'm Tiffany Haddock and I'm here just for the halibut.

-Ha-ha-ha! -[rimshot]

-[laughter] -Whoo-hoo!

All right then.

Our next performers are gonna knock--

-[grunting] -[crash]

[Poseidon laughs]

Poseidon?

We are getting an audience with the King.

Well, let's have it. Perform, please!

♪ Hey! Aka Waka Maka Mia ♪

-♪ Was a puffer fish ♪ -[farts]

♪ Being bigger than a puffer Was his only wish ♪

♪ And so he huffed, he puffed ♪

-♪ He billowed and he blew ♪ -[Gary meows]

[both] Gary!

[meows]

Gary, I'm coming, buddy!

-[diner shouts] -[meows]

Excuse me. Sorry. My bad. Whoop.

Sorry. Whoa!

Hi, there! Excuse me, King Poseidon, sire.

There's been a misunderstanding about Gary.

-Gary? -[meows]

-Gary. -Gary?

The snail that you're rubbing all over your face right now.

Nonsense. Besides, this snail's name is Fred.

"Fred?" You renamed Gary?

-Fred. -Gary.

-Fred! Fred! -Gary! Gary!

-Fred! -Gary!

Fred!

Seize them!

[SpongeBob] Gary!

Gary!

But Gary loves me! And I love him.

[meows sadly]

[Sandy] Yeehaw!

Incoming!

[laughs]

Whoa!

Good rockets.

-[knocking on door] -SpongeBob?

Get yer co-pilot goggles, dude,

'cause we're goin' sleddin'!

SpongeBob?

You in here?

SpongeBob?

[yelps]

SpongeBob!

Huh. That's weird.

Something's fishy around here.

All right, what'd y'all do with SpongeBob?

We don't know where he is, Sandy.

Hasn't been here in days. [screams]

Don't you play coy with me, cephalopod.

-And you, arthropod! -[shrieks]

Start talking. Where is he?

Tied up in the basement? Stuffed in your trunk?

Nay, I could never harm the lad.

His absence has taught me that much.

And I'm not just talking about the money I'm losing with him gone.

[both] Hmm…

Okay, fifty percent talking about the money

and fifty percent talking about I truly miss the boy.

Aw.

I hate to admit it, but things just aren't the same without him.

There's no denying it. We need SpongeBob.

Did anyone ever stop to think that he might need us?

This is Perch Perkins coming to you from The Lost City of Atlantic City.

I'm standing on the strip outside

Poseidon's Palace and Casino, where two suspects have been

-taken into custody tonight… -[gasping]

…following an attempt on the Royal Snail.

The sponge and sea star were impersonating a lounge act

when they made an attempt on Poseidon's prize mollusk.

[meows]

[all] It's Gary!

The suspects' vehicle was apprehended after a high-speed chase.

Mr. Krabs. What happened to Otto?

Well, he took an automated vacation!

In a related story, Poseidon's Palace

presents a command performance, featuring the execution

of the suspects in the Aqua Room this Friday night.

[spits] Execution of the suspects?

What happened to habeas swordfish?

It's a fun-filled family event, with opening act Kelpy G.

One performance only, tickets still available.

[both gasp]

-We've got to go help them! -We embark immediately.

Excuse me.

Can I tag along?

Plankton?

What have you got to do with this?

[stammering] I… I…

I might have had a teensy-weensy hand in a very--

Yeah, yeah, we'll hear about it in the car.

Mr. Squidward, are ya coming?

Ha! Fat chance.

Fat chance I'd miss a Kelpy G performance. I'm in.

To the Pattymobile!

What, this old tub?

Never judge a Pattymobile by its bun, Squidward.

Let's light this puppy!

[crank squeaking]

[Mr. Krabs cackling]

[Sandy] Yeehaw!

[all exclaiming]

Mommy!

[long, somber musical note playing]

[chuckles]

[playing higher note]

Huh? SpongeBob?

Are you okay?

Hey, buddy. Sorry about this.

[sniffling] It's not your fault, Patrick.

You've been a true friend this whole time.

Never wavered, never faltered. It's just…

I failed, that's all!

And I'll never see innocent little Gary again.

Oh, my heart is broken!

-[crying] -Oh, come on now.

Buck up. It's not over yet, SpongeBob.

It sure feels over. And crappy.

Just saying there's two sides to every coin.

Oh, Patrick, what does a coin have to--

Wait, did you just say "coin"?

Me? Uh, don't think so.

-[mooing noise] -[giggles]

You did. You said "coin"!

-Not remembering that exactly. -[makes telephone noise]

-Hello? -The challenge coin! Of course!

Oh, don't you see, Patrick? We're saved!

I said hello.

Patrick, it's gone!

Meh. Was the challenge coin really that useful?

Hello?

Oh! Stupid prank callers.

Hey, wait a sec.

I gave it to you, remember? For safe keeping.

No.

Come on, it was last night! We were at the crappie tables.

[croupier] Winner! Place your bets.

Come on, seven! Come on, seven! Come on, seven!

You!

You gambled away my challenge coin!

You wrecked our entire mission with one stupid bet!

Well, only after you kept saying…

Let it ride, Patrick! Let it ride!

-Whoo! -But, SpongeBob…

What if you need the challenge coin tomorrow

to help you summon your courage?

Tomorrow is for weenies!

Whoo! [laughing]

Well, it's tomorrow and guess who's the weenie.

[huffs]

I… can't…

believe you!

You can't believe me? Are you serious right now?

Well! Maybe you can believe this.

I'm out of here!

And don't come back!

Oh, don't worry, I won't!

-Good! -Ever!

-Fine! -Super!

Hey, losers.

Oh, hey, Sage.

Sage, glad you're here.

Guess who gambled away my challenge coin.

Guess who blames everyone else for his troubles.

Enough!

Did I mention you are the worst epic heroes

for whom I have ever been a spirit guide?

Um, I think we went over that this morning.

I believe we did, yeah.

[sighs]

SpongeBob, the coin was just a symbol.

The courage you seek is inside you,

not in the coin.

And it will come to you in your hour of need.

But isn't this my hour of need?

[laughs] Oh, no.

It gets way worse.

Bye!

-Worse? -Dude said way worse.

[scatting] Prepare the prisoners.

Oh, that couldn't be for us.

It's your big moment to fry… I mean, shine.

[gasps] It is for us, Patrick! We're gonna die!

[Plankton] And that's how I got SpongeBob

out of Bikini Bottom. [giggles]

-Why, that's monstrous! -Wait, that sounds good.

-Oh, brother. -What do you expect? I'm evil.

Let's just focus on the plan.

[Mr. Krabs] We're approaching The Lost City of Atlantic City.

-Make way there, make way! -[pedestrians exclaim]

Oh!

Eww.

"Sponge and Star Execution Extravaganza"?

No time to lose!

Woop, woop, woop! Ladies and gentlefish,

welcome to the Aqua Room, y'all.

The greatest show underwater.

[playing upbeat tune]

[Tiffany] My groupies and groupers…

-We love you, Tiffany! -Yeah holler at your girl!

Are you ready to be entertained?

Hmm? I can't hear you.

Are you ready to be entertained?

[laughs]

All right, then, let's meet the contestants.

In this corner, a sponge and a star…

…two of the ocean's most notorious criminals!

[crowd hissing, booing]

And in this corner, representing His Majesty the King,

Poseidon's very own Chancellor!

[crowd cheering]

Now drum roll, maestro.

-[drum roll] -Put your fins together

for the duke of the dirty deed,

the earl of execution,

that axe-wielding maniac…

…oh, yeah, Lemont! [laughing]

[crowd chanting] Lamont! Lamont! Lamont!

Oh, I love me some Lemont.

Mm, mm, mm. He's so strong.

[both gulping]

Ladies and gentlemen,

with a moment of smooth jazz

in memory of the soon-to-be-goners,

I give you Kelpy G.

[playing "My Heart Will Go On"]

Oh, Patrick, I feel terrible.

I dragged you into this whole mess.

It's okay, SpongeBob.

I made a plea deal with the prosecution!

Oh, that's good-- Wait, you did what?

All I have to do is, uh… oh, yeah!

"Bring incriminating evidence against the defendant."

-[laughs] -Patrick, I'm the defendant.

You are? Oh.

[song ends]

Let the proceedings begin!

Your Honor, I would like to enter into evidence

one sea snail. Name: Fred.

[Gary meows]

-Gary! -How dare you!

That's about all I can say.

How dare you come here

to the sanctuary of our revered sovereign,

to rob him of his very lifeblood,

his adorable good looks.

[laughs] Go on.

How indeed dare you.

-[crowd jeering] -Guilty!

[crowd chanting] Lemont! Lemont! Lemont!

-[roars] -[gasping]

[grunts]

Hold it!

If it please the court,

I'd like to say something in SpongeBob's defense.

It does not please the court.

Sit down, squirrel with fishbowl on head.

But, sire, a strong defense makes for a better show.

Isn't that right, audience?

[cheering]

[grunting]

All right, all right! I'll allow it.

[Sandy] Thank you, Your Honor.

Ladies and gentlemen,

SpongeBob has always been there for me.

Even going all the way back to summer camp.

In fact, that's where we all met.

[children yelling, laughing]

[chattering, laughing]

I'm…

Ow! Ah! Ooh! Ooh!

ready!

Look at all the cool activities!

Camping. Canoeing.

Seahorse-back riding!

Tug-of-war. Whale watching.

Do you mind?

Juggling contests. Shrink-wrap soccer!

And more.

[Sandy] Whoo-hoo!

[SpongeBob] Whoa!

Hey, y'all critters of the sea! Look out below!

I'm Sandy Cheeks from Texas.

Hi, Sandy. I'm SpongeBob.

Pleased to meet ya.

Does everybody wear spacesuits in Texas?

They do if they want to visit you underwater critters.

We all breathe air on the surface.

It's just our way of synthesizing oxygen.

Same as you do with water.

Whoa. Are you a scientist?

Naw, I'm just a squirrel.

I can't be a scientist.

Even though it's kind of my dream.

Sandy Cheeks, you take that back!

I bet you can do anything.

Really? Wow.

Me a scientist?

-[roaring] -[male voice] Science.

[giggles] You're a hoot, little dude.

I'd be just as likely to live down here

in a glass dome with a tree in it.

-Ha-ha! -You never know!

[laughing]

-Ow. -[laughs]

Ow.

[Sandy] He's the one that told me,

no matter who I was or where I came from,

I should follow my dream.

That's a friend, people.

And that's why, in my eyes…

SpongeBob is no criminal.

He's the best little fella

to ever walk the sea bottom. And that's…

That's just how I feel about it. So…

Please, don't hurt him.

[all] Aww…

This man broke the law!

[all gasping]

The law of: "You should stay home

and accept the fact that somebody stole your snail."

The law of: "There's probably nothing I can do about it."

Well, in this sea star's opinion,

those laws should be broken and SpongeBob is proof of it!

All he's guilty of

is having the fortitude to try and rescue a friend.

[meows]

How do I know?

Oh, I was just a lonely bump on a log

when I first met him.

[crying]

-Hi, my name-- -[wailing]

Hi, my name--

Hello my name is SpongeBob, what's your name?

I'm Pa-Pa-Patrick.

Why are you crying, Pa-Pa-Patrick?

I'm homesick.

Well, that's a pretty good reason.

-Maybe all you need is a friend. -[wailing]

I don't have any friends!

-Well, you've got one now. -Really?

-Who is it? -It's me!

-Do you mean it? -Of course. Come on!

[Patrick] That sweet little sponge

rescued this miserable little sea star.

And things haven't changed that much today, Your Honor.

[sniffles]

My heart, buddy.

-[chains rattle] -I don't like SpongeBob.

In fact, I revile him.

-Whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa! -[loud thud]

Anyway, I, too, met this nabob in summer camp.

I remember it like it was yesterday.

It was my big night.

The Annual Camp Coral Talent Show.

[playing "Flight of the Bumblebee"]

And first prize was the coveted Campy Award.

Thank you, Larry.

Remember, people, don't forget to vote.

[vocalizing]

[Squidward] As far as I was concerned,

the trophy was as good as mine.

-Hey, Squidward-- -Bup, bup, bup, bup.

Quiet. I'm in pregame right now.

I've got an award to win.

[whistling]

[saws buzzing]

-[belches] -♪ La, la-la-la, loo! ♪

♪ La-la ♪

♪ Aka Waka Maka Mia Was a puffer fish ♪

[fart noise]

-[applause] -[laughs] The Campy is mine.

[lilting music plays]

[Squidward] I bathed the audience

with the sounds of my heavenly clarinet playing.

[playing off-key notes]

[retching]

[record scratches]

Thank you, Squidward. Just lovely.

Thank you, thank you.

[murmuring]

And the Campy goes to…

[young Squidward] I'll take that.

-…SpongeBob and Patrick! -Huh?

-[audience cheering] -No! No! No!

[all gasping]

This isn't happening!

[crying] No! Mommy!

[Squidward] I was robbed.

And never to play the clarinet again.

[crying quietly] No…

-Squidward! -Go away!

Patrick and I were, um,

talking to one of the counselors and guess what?

There was a big mistake and you actually won the Campy Award!

That's right. Yup.

-I… I did? -In a landslide.

Hmm.

So weird they would've miscounted like that.

-But I guess it's possible-- -[both] Yay!

-Nice work, Squidward. -No one deserves it more.

Wow.

And don't ever stop playing this.

My clarinet.

Look at me. I really did it!

Yay!

Which is why, even though I can't stand SpongeBob…

but at the same time, well…

I love him.

-[gasps] -I love him

-and I hate him. -Oh.

He's like ice cream with salt on it,

because he's sweet and super annoying.

He's nice and

nails-on-chalkboard annoying!

Okay, fine, he's mostly super freaking annoying.

But, this little nattering noodge…

is my friend.

And he doesn't deserve to die.

[meows]

[playing melodic tune]

I'll be saying my piece now, if it be pleasing the court.

[clears throat] I suppose I could stand up here

and tell you how SpongeBob changed me life.

But, I won't.

I might even speak about how he inspired me

when I was just a small-time vendor with a broken-down luncheonette.

But I won't.

Heck, I'd probably mention how he encouraged me

to start up me own restaurant.

You should open up your own restaurant, someday.

The Krusty Krab, made famous by me delicious Krabby Patties!

Two-for-one Wednesdays, by the way. Pass these around.

But, I won't.

Nay, you'll hear none such praise from me.

Because it wouldn't do him full justice.

It wouldn't begin to describe the size of the lad's heart.

Which is huge.

And he puts that heart into everything he does.

The cooking…

-Order up! -…cleaning…

…serving up the delicious Krabby Patties.

But that's the funny thing.

I used to think me secret Krabby Patty formula

was also the secret to me success.

We serve breakfast till 11, by the way, 12 on weekends.

It wasn't until SpongeBob came to work for me

that I realized the formula

is more than just a list of ingredients

and flavor-capturing methods.

It's more than a jealously guarded recipe.

The real secret formula

is sitting right here.

SpongeBob SquarePants.

Aww…

Get ready.

Ahem! Maestro?

[playing dramatic intro]

♪ A formula is something Like a recipe ♪

♪ A recipe is something Like a plan ♪

♪ With elements and measurements ♪

♪ All mixed together by a steady hand ♪

♪ But careful you must be Or you'll be sad you see ♪

♪ If somehow in the mix It has no soul ♪

♪ So what's the one ingredient ♪

♪ That turns this awesome sauce To liquid gold? ♪

I'll tell ya!

♪ The secret to the formula Is you, you ♪

♪ You, you ♪

♪ The honey in my tea, you know Is you, you ♪

♪ You, you ♪

-♪ The bubbles in the boil ♪ -[shrieking]

♪ The one essential oil It's true ♪

♪ The secret to the formula Is you, you ♪

-SpongeBob! -♪ You, you ♪

♪ What in the wide watery world ♪

♪ Would it be like without you? ♪

♪ The secret to the formula Is you, you ♪

♪ You, you ♪

♪ The honey in my tea, you know Is you, you ♪

♪ You, you ♪

♪ The bubbles in the boil ♪

♪ The one essential oil It's true ♪

♪ The secret to the formula Is you, you ♪

-SpongeBob! -♪ You, you ♪

♪ The secret to the formula ♪

-♪ Is you, you ♪ -[laughs]

So entertaining!

♪ The secret to the formula Is you, you ♪

♪ You, you ♪

Yeehaw!

[applause, cheering]

Ha! Hilarious!

[laughing]

Hmm?

My snail!

Wha--? Huh?

Halt! It's a trick! Seize them!

Gary, you're with me now.

I'll never let anyone take you again.

[meows]

[Plankton] Faster!

[Patrick] Oh!

Wow.

Yah! Patrick, what are you doing?

Free food!

[screams]

[yells]

Get him!

[all shouting]

Come on, come on. In here!

[soldier] Stop right there!

-[loud thud] -Inside! Quick!

[gasps]

[grunting]

Come on!

Uh-oh.

Push! Push, Plankton!

You got to be kidding me!

Hah!

[grunts]

Hmm?

[grunts]

[all exclaiming]

Peekaboo!

[cackles] Attack!

Ha-hah!

-Attack! -[yelling]

Whoa! Watch your left flank, people!

Thrust! Now parry!

Now pirouette. Turn around. Pivot!

Pull harder. Faster! To the right!

Hi-ya!

[Plankton] Whoa, whoa! [yells]

[bowling strike sound]

[both yelp]

[shrieking]

[screaming]

Do you think we should've stayed in there with Squidward?

Nah, he's got it.

[Squidward] Where is everybody?!

Charge!

-[Squidward] Whoa! -[sizzling]

[shrieking]

-[yelling] -Squidward!

[all yelling]

[screams]

Squidward! Fall this way!

No, this way!

[Patrick] Oh.

Man down.

Good catch.

-Hey, there they are! -Get them!

Yo, what's up?

Otto!

I have a gambling problem.

Otto!

Could anyone lend me some money?

To Bikini Bottom! And step on it!

Stepping on it.

You're all fired.

To the valet!

-Ah! -[gasping]

Leaving so soon, kids?

[anxious meow]

Hang on, Gary. I won't let you go.

Tsk, tsk. Rather impolite, don't you think?

It was all their idea, sire.

And I…

…loved it!

Wait, so you're not mad at us?

[laughing] No!

It's been a while since I've enjoyed

such toe-tapping entertainment.

All is forgiven!

-And all charges are dropped. -Hooray!

On one condition.

SpongeBob will return my snail to me

without any more shilly-shally.

Wait, what?

Just hand over the snail and you can all go free.

But… I… I…

[Sage] SpongeBob.

[Spongebob] Sage? Is that you?

Hello.

Sage! Hi!

Remember…

The courage you seek is inside you.

And it will come to you in your hour of need.

[Spongebob] The courage is inside me.

The courage is inside me!

Mr. Poseidon, no.

I'm sorry, but I won't do it.

[laughs]

What?

I love Gary too much, and he loves me.

If we didn't have each other, we'd be so sad. Well…

It wouldn't really matter what you'd do to us.

[meows]

And look. Today, thanks to these amazing friends,

my heart feels twice as big a s it ever did.

Especially after what they risked for me:

Flouting the law and defying the mighty king of the sea.

Defying? Really?

I wouldn't say defying the king.

Humiliating you in front of your subjects.

-Do go on. -More like admiring.

And totally agreeing with!

I just came to see Kelpy G.

And they did it all for me.

I'm sure you'd understand if you had friends like these.

Friends like these? Wait, what?

Friends like these?

[chuckles] Of course I have friends like these.

I have all kinds of friends!

I have buddies, I have besties.

I have home-slices, palsy-walsies.

It's infinite!

Chancellor! Give us an exact number.

The friend count, if you will.

Uh, okay, according to your latest polling data,

we should get more polling data.

What? Give me that.

Huh?

What about my adoring fans?

-Nope. -My elite palace guards?

-Mm-mm. -[innocent whistling]

-What about my personal trainer? -Mmm… Mm-mm.

-My therapist? -Nada.

-My tattoo artist? -Uh…nope.

-My tattoo removal artist? -No dice.

B-But surely you, my chancellor,

my loyal faithful…?

Sorry.

[sobs]

Apollo, take me now.

I don't have any friends!

Well, you got one now!

Really? Who is it?

It's me! I'll be your friend.

Do you mean it?

Yes. But friends don't kidnap friends' pet snails.

-[meows] -But I need that snail.

Look, I have a horrible, disgusting wrinkle.

Jumping jellyfish, it's the size of the Mariana Trench!

-[moaning sob] -[laughs] Kidding!

Looks don't matter.

We don't care about little imperfections.

Or even big ones!

-Just look at Squidward. -What's that supposed to mean?

What's important is what's inside.

And I'm sure you can be a fair and kind king

to all the creatures of the sea.

I know you've got it in you, sir.

If you'd just let your hair down a little.

Huh? My hair? Wait a minute.

Are you suggesting that I don't need this

gorgeous mane of wavy locks?

[cheering]

That I don't require this neck clip?

[gasping]

[cheering]

Be gone, perfect shiny teeth!

This is so freeing!

To heck with this chest plate and girdle.

-Oh, wow. -Too far?

No! Not at all!

[all overlapping] No, you look great!

Oh, thank you! I find this so exhilarating.

So… age appropriate.

SpongeBob, few possess the courage

to stand up to a powerful king.

You, sir, are among those few. I salute you.

Nailed it, SpongeBob.

Sage out.

You may keep Gary.

And I wish you many happy years together.

Thank you! Did you hear that, Gare-Bear?

[meows]

Uh, your royal robe, Your Highness.

-It's getting cold out here. -Nonsense, Chancellor.

I'm free!

Ooh, you certainly are.

And free the snails!

[all meowing]

[Gary meows]

What's that?

All of them?

["Take On Me" playing]

I'm home!

[meows]

Hello, Gary.

Hello, Brian.

Hello, Janet. Hello, June. Hola, Lupe.

-Morning, Sally! -Hi, Brett!

[snails meowing]

-[snails meowing] -[indistinct chatter]

Come on, Gary! You can do it!

[errified meow]

Yeah!

Fabio! Where are you, buddy?

Here, Fabio, Fabio, Fabio!

Come on, Fifi. No.

-[snails purring] -[Plankton groans]

[laughing]

Order up!

[crowing]

["Agua" playing]

[no audible dialogue]

[song continues]

[no audible dialogue]

[song continues]

[no audible dialogue]

[song continues]

["Krabby Step" playing]

["Snail: I'm Avail" playing]

["Gary's song" playing]