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Would you like to inspect the original subtitles? These are the user uploaded subtitles that are being translated: 1 00:01:07,867 --> 00:01:10,602 "Sorry, sweetie, late night last night, maybe Monday. 2 00:01:10,620 --> 00:01:12,454 "Call you, xo." 3 00:01:15,158 --> 00:01:16,291 I mean, seriously. 4 00:01:17,944 --> 00:01:21,163 After last week's drunken disaster, I thought he'd be up for round 2. 5 00:01:23,166 --> 00:01:25,467 I'm offering n.S.A. Sex and he's too fucking tired! 6 00:01:26,553 --> 00:01:27,553 Wait. 7 00:01:29,122 --> 00:01:31,974 I thought you really liked Richard. So, how's that "no strings attached" sex? 8 00:01:32,008 --> 00:01:33,225 Well, he doesn't know that. 9 00:01:34,293 --> 00:01:36,428 For all he knows, I'm just a whore who wants to get laid. 10 00:01:36,462 --> 00:01:38,564 Well, you're right about the whore part. 11 00:01:45,688 --> 00:01:47,106 Why is it so fucking complicated? 12 00:01:47,140 --> 00:01:48,157 Whoa. 13 00:01:50,110 --> 00:01:52,494 Sometimes I just wish we were back in the stone age. 14 00:01:53,279 --> 00:01:56,498 I could just club Richard and bring him back to my cave. 15 00:01:57,333 --> 00:02:00,669 Well, I don't know if that's how it worked, but you could try it. 16 00:02:00,703 --> 00:02:02,988 I mean, you're apartment's cave-like. 17 00:02:04,290 --> 00:02:08,544 How can I club him when we're never even in the same room? 18 00:02:13,332 --> 00:02:15,000 What about him? He looks fuckable. 19 00:02:18,605 --> 00:02:21,339 He's not, last week he asked if he could borrow my cell phone. 20 00:02:21,891 --> 00:02:23,225 So? 21 00:02:23,693 --> 00:02:26,728 He said he wanted to call his mother, and tell her he'd just met the woman of his dreams. 22 00:02:26,779 --> 00:02:30,065 Ew! How do you even respond to something so douchey? 23 00:02:30,116 --> 00:02:32,956 I asked him if I could borrow his apple Martini, so I could puke into it. 24 00:02:34,037 --> 00:02:35,037 Oh! 25 00:02:35,572 --> 00:02:37,456 Well, what about... 26 00:02:37,907 --> 00:02:39,958 Him in the booth, with the ironic facial hair. 27 00:02:41,377 --> 00:02:44,029 When I went to the bathroom, he asked if he could take my picture, 28 00:02:44,047 --> 00:02:46,298 so he could show Santa what he wanted for Christmas. 29 00:02:46,332 --> 00:02:47,916 Oh, he's definitely the winner. 30 00:02:48,168 --> 00:02:50,302 And by winner I mean loser. 31 00:02:52,172 --> 00:02:53,172 They're all losers. 32 00:02:53,923 --> 00:02:56,175 No, scratch that, we're the losers. 33 00:02:58,478 --> 00:03:01,046 I am so sick of these lame ass lines. 34 00:03:02,098 --> 00:03:05,217 Then it's the trading of the phone numbers, 35 00:03:05,885 --> 00:03:09,721 and then cyber stalking, the sexting, the drive by's. 36 00:03:09,739 --> 00:03:11,823 The befriending of his ex's to get the dirt on them, 37 00:03:11,858 --> 00:03:13,242 it goes on forever. 38 00:03:13,526 --> 00:03:14,610 It's the whole game. 39 00:03:16,162 --> 00:03:17,946 I can't stand it any more. 40 00:03:19,699 --> 00:03:23,619 Well, well, well, what's gotten into you? 41 00:03:25,588 --> 00:03:26,588 Sorry. 42 00:03:27,740 --> 00:03:29,925 We just took on this new cunty client at work. 43 00:03:29,959 --> 00:03:32,628 She doesn't like any of the ad campaigns I put together. 44 00:03:35,098 --> 00:03:36,098 Screw her. 45 00:03:38,051 --> 00:03:40,435 Between her and this back and forth with Richard, 46 00:03:40,470 --> 00:03:43,305 I just don't have the energy to play the game with another guy. 47 00:03:48,061 --> 00:03:49,928 Then we'll go where the guys have no game. 48 00:03:51,281 --> 00:03:54,432 Where is this mystical place that you speak of? 49 00:03:55,151 --> 00:03:56,151 I don't know, 50 00:03:58,371 --> 00:03:59,771 I'm gonna find out. 51 00:04:02,108 --> 00:04:03,108 Damn it! 52 00:04:07,463 --> 00:04:09,081 So 8:00? 53 00:04:09,749 --> 00:04:12,217 At villa tomasino's? 54 00:04:13,636 --> 00:04:14,670 Great. 55 00:04:17,589 --> 00:04:19,457 Great. 56 00:04:20,310 --> 00:04:21,310 Can't wait. 57 00:04:22,345 --> 00:04:24,146 Does your volume knob turn to the left? 58 00:04:24,180 --> 00:04:26,098 Some of us didn't sleep so well last night. 59 00:04:26,899 --> 00:04:28,734 That's a good thing, right. 60 00:04:28,768 --> 00:04:32,354 Not if you're watching reruns of Melrose place, and drowning your sorrows in pomegeddons. 61 00:04:32,605 --> 00:04:33,605 Poma what? 62 00:04:34,691 --> 00:04:38,410 Pomegranate juice, vodka, vodka, 63 00:04:40,430 --> 00:04:41,446 vodka. 64 00:04:42,498 --> 00:04:46,501 So, you got reservations at villa tomasino's. That's impressive. 65 00:04:47,787 --> 00:04:48,787 She did. 66 00:04:53,760 --> 00:04:54,843 She? 67 00:04:54,877 --> 00:04:55,927 Nicole. 68 00:04:56,296 --> 00:04:57,596 She's a marine botanist. 69 00:04:57,930 --> 00:04:59,531 What does that mean, she studies seaweed? 70 00:04:59,549 --> 00:05:02,267 Mostly lichen, and algae too. Isn't that cool? 71 00:05:02,302 --> 00:05:03,602 Ha. Gangster. 72 00:05:04,304 --> 00:05:05,470 How'd you meet her? 73 00:05:05,504 --> 00:05:07,139 At the farmers market 74 00:05:07,173 --> 00:05:08,853 and you'll never guess what she said to me. 75 00:05:09,025 --> 00:05:10,675 Was it something about porcini mushrooms? 76 00:05:10,693 --> 00:05:14,529 "Hi, my name's Nicole. Would you like to have dinner sometime?" 77 00:05:17,533 --> 00:05:18,533 That's it. 78 00:05:18,735 --> 00:05:21,787 No lines, no games, just honest communication. 79 00:05:22,372 --> 00:05:23,372 I respect that. 80 00:05:23,990 --> 00:05:24,990 Oh, Jason. 81 00:05:27,960 --> 00:05:29,211 That is her game. 82 00:05:30,763 --> 00:05:32,564 She pretends she's this sincere, 83 00:05:32,598 --> 00:05:34,800 innocent little thing, but it's a con. 84 00:05:34,834 --> 00:05:37,336 She's probably a manipulative, conniving bitch! 85 00:05:41,924 --> 00:05:45,260 Or, she's just a really cool, 86 00:05:46,179 --> 00:05:48,563 down to earth, marine botanist. 87 00:05:51,351 --> 00:05:52,351 If you say so. 88 00:06:02,028 --> 00:06:03,308 Could you please leave my office? 89 00:06:22,765 --> 00:06:24,582 See, that's what I find so amazing, 90 00:06:24,801 --> 00:06:28,937 is that human life began in these tiny underwater vents, 91 00:06:29,439 --> 00:06:30,555 bubbling up. 92 00:06:30,589 --> 00:06:33,358 Mmm, that's what's so fascinating about marine life. 93 00:06:33,393 --> 00:06:36,778 I mean, it's all interconnected down to the smallest micro-organisms. 94 00:06:36,813 --> 00:06:39,264 Mmm. I mean, if we mess just one little thing up, 95 00:06:39,949 --> 00:06:41,589 you can say goodbye to earth's sol linear. 96 00:06:47,740 --> 00:06:49,291 Can I ask you a question? 97 00:06:49,325 --> 00:06:50,876 Another one about marine botany? 98 00:06:50,910 --> 00:06:53,611 No, no, no. Ah, it's about how we met. 99 00:06:55,214 --> 00:06:57,132 Are you always that direct? 100 00:06:58,751 --> 00:06:59,835 Why are you asking? 101 00:07:01,721 --> 00:07:02,721 I don't know. I'm just... 102 00:07:03,473 --> 00:07:04,473 Just... I liked it. 103 00:07:05,258 --> 00:07:06,624 I'm just curious, that's all. 104 00:07:08,227 --> 00:07:09,227 Not really. 105 00:07:12,315 --> 00:07:13,315 So... 106 00:07:15,101 --> 00:07:17,102 So, that's like your game, right? 107 00:07:19,155 --> 00:07:21,273 Your ass looked so hot in those jeans, 108 00:07:21,858 --> 00:07:23,308 I didn't want you to get away. 109 00:07:24,477 --> 00:07:25,877 I didn't have the nerve to say that. 110 00:07:28,147 --> 00:07:30,165 Maybe, I can get a better look later on. 111 00:07:36,589 --> 00:07:38,156 We'll take the check, please. 112 00:07:41,761 --> 00:07:43,178 There is nothing Goin' on tonight. 113 00:07:43,212 --> 00:07:45,714 Is it some kind of holiday that I don't know about? 114 00:07:47,850 --> 00:07:49,100 Oh, here's one. 115 00:07:49,519 --> 00:07:51,669 It's '80s night at the weigh station. 116 00:07:52,271 --> 00:07:54,055 Ew, old dude games! 117 00:07:54,673 --> 00:07:57,175 Hookah. 118 00:07:57,977 --> 00:08:00,529 Some kind of museum party... 119 00:08:02,899 --> 00:08:05,517 How about, 2 for one at Ricky's? 120 00:08:07,904 --> 00:08:09,354 Cheap dude games. 121 00:08:10,289 --> 00:08:11,740 All right, I give up. 122 00:08:12,542 --> 00:08:13,542 Let me see. 123 00:08:17,296 --> 00:08:18,296 Mmm. 124 00:08:18,915 --> 00:08:20,198 Black widow pub. 125 00:08:21,667 --> 00:08:23,868 Are you kidding? Tyler would kill us. 126 00:08:23,886 --> 00:08:26,388 I know Tyler would kill us, but it's college night. 127 00:08:27,256 --> 00:08:28,473 So, what does that mean? 128 00:08:40,520 --> 00:08:42,220 College boys, ha. 129 00:08:42,888 --> 00:08:45,407 Too young to have any game but old enough to be legal. 130 00:08:45,825 --> 00:08:47,225 Hey, are you ready for the plan? 131 00:08:47,527 --> 00:08:50,645 We're Goin' to flirt, Mac with some clueless hotties, and it's splitsville. 132 00:08:50,947 --> 00:08:52,414 Now I get it. Mmm-hmm. 133 00:08:52,865 --> 00:08:55,500 Let's do a lap. You go clockwise, I go counter-clockwise. 134 00:08:55,535 --> 00:08:56,568 Meet you at the bar. 135 00:09:06,579 --> 00:09:07,762 Wait, my neighbors. 136 00:09:07,797 --> 00:09:09,581 I live right down the hall. No, can't wait that long. 137 00:09:09,599 --> 00:09:10,632 Ah! 138 00:09:18,307 --> 00:09:21,926 Well, well, well, am I right, or am I right? 139 00:09:21,944 --> 00:09:25,430 Yes, nothing but clueless eager hotties. 140 00:09:25,448 --> 00:09:26,531 But... No. 141 00:09:27,233 --> 00:09:29,868 No! You're not Goin' to puss out on me. What is it this time? 142 00:09:29,902 --> 00:09:33,104 I didn't even know how to flirt with college guys, when I was in college. 143 00:09:34,657 --> 00:09:35,991 Mmm. 144 00:09:36,042 --> 00:09:37,659 Watch and learn, baby girl. 145 00:09:43,215 --> 00:09:44,299 Excuse me. 146 00:09:45,134 --> 00:09:46,835 - Hi! - Hi! 147 00:09:46,886 --> 00:09:49,054 2 questions! One, where do you go to school? 148 00:09:49,955 --> 00:09:52,007 We went to the "u." Yeah, we just graduated. 149 00:09:52,058 --> 00:09:54,926 That's nice. 2, do you and your hot buddy over here, 150 00:09:54,960 --> 00:09:57,345 wanna make out with a bunch of dipshit sorority girls, 151 00:09:57,396 --> 00:09:59,731 or with two hot, experienced, older women? 152 00:10:02,234 --> 00:10:04,686 We want the experience older women. Yeah! 153 00:10:06,489 --> 00:10:08,273 Wait, that means you 2, right? 154 00:10:08,307 --> 00:10:09,691 I get the valedictorian. 155 00:10:11,077 --> 00:10:12,193 Wait, one more question. 156 00:10:12,828 --> 00:10:14,613 Do you guys know the rules of the game? 157 00:10:15,364 --> 00:10:16,481 Maybe. 158 00:10:16,499 --> 00:10:19,317 What, there's rules? Dude, shut up. 159 00:10:23,155 --> 00:10:26,925 This isn't a dealbreaker, is it? I mean, because we really wanted the experienced women. 160 00:10:27,159 --> 00:10:30,879 Yeah, I mean, if you want to teach us the rules... 161 00:10:30,930 --> 00:10:32,210 We could totally... Stop talking. 162 00:10:32,214 --> 00:10:33,932 I can do that. It's no problem. 163 00:10:33,966 --> 00:10:35,133 Now! 164 00:10:49,365 --> 00:10:50,515 Okay, okay! 165 00:11:09,585 --> 00:11:11,586 Wait, wait, wait. Hey, wait. 166 00:11:13,372 --> 00:11:14,372 No. 167 00:12:03,756 --> 00:12:05,390 One second, okay? Sidebar. 168 00:12:11,430 --> 00:12:12,430 Okay. 169 00:12:13,816 --> 00:12:14,932 Change of plans. 170 00:12:15,901 --> 00:12:18,369 I think I'm gonna go home with this guy. 171 00:12:19,271 --> 00:12:21,039 Stevie's kind of cute. I know. 172 00:12:22,491 --> 00:12:23,792 I'm sorry, is that yours or mine? 173 00:12:25,544 --> 00:12:27,128 Does it matter? No! 174 00:12:29,415 --> 00:12:30,448 Jesus! 175 00:12:30,666 --> 00:12:32,751 I've not been this wet since swim team. 176 00:12:33,219 --> 00:12:34,786 So, now it's flirt, Mac... 177 00:12:34,804 --> 00:12:35,837 Fuck. 178 00:12:36,172 --> 00:12:38,556 Sounds like a plan. Yeah, I love you, I love you. 179 00:12:42,645 --> 00:12:46,347 I'm not anti-PDA or anything, but if this is going where I think it's going... 180 00:12:46,398 --> 00:12:47,649 Where do you guys live? 181 00:12:47,683 --> 00:12:49,017 Less than a mile from here. 182 00:12:49,068 --> 00:12:50,935 Oh, the magic words. 183 00:12:51,487 --> 00:12:53,137 Let's blow this kiddie pool. 184 00:12:53,405 --> 00:12:54,405 Let's do it. 185 00:13:05,201 --> 00:13:06,201 Touch me! 186 00:13:54,533 --> 00:13:56,184 Oh! Oh! 187 00:14:36,091 --> 00:14:37,091 Whoa! 188 00:14:38,127 --> 00:14:39,410 Nice crib. 189 00:14:40,596 --> 00:14:42,347 What'd you say you guys major in again? 190 00:14:42,381 --> 00:14:43,464 Business. Finance. 191 00:14:43,515 --> 00:14:45,300 Business and finance. Yeah. 192 00:14:48,137 --> 00:14:49,187 Nice. 193 00:14:50,606 --> 00:14:54,025 So, my roommates are probably asleep right now. 194 00:14:54,059 --> 00:14:56,093 Okay, hope I'm not too loud for you. 195 00:14:56,111 --> 00:14:57,528 Oh, it's like that. 196 00:14:57,563 --> 00:14:58,596 Sure is. 197 00:15:10,209 --> 00:15:11,209 Close your eyes. 198 00:15:12,578 --> 00:15:13,578 What for? 199 00:15:13,996 --> 00:15:15,964 Gonna need to rest up for round 2. 200 00:15:17,499 --> 00:15:18,633 Maybe this will help. 201 00:15:26,759 --> 00:15:28,810 Whoa! That's not... 202 00:15:29,762 --> 00:15:30,795 Oh! 203 00:15:58,424 --> 00:15:59,745 I had one of those in high school. 204 00:16:02,661 --> 00:16:03,828 Take that off. 205 00:16:03,846 --> 00:16:04,929 Oh! 206 00:16:05,180 --> 00:16:07,164 Take charge type, me likey. 207 00:16:32,491 --> 00:16:33,812 You really know what you're doing. 208 00:16:34,710 --> 00:16:35,877 I read some books. 209 00:16:36,712 --> 00:16:37,879 What college? 210 00:17:05,907 --> 00:17:07,992 Get in here. I'll help you get out of those. 211 00:18:30,809 --> 00:18:32,076 Sounds like fun, doesn't it? 212 00:18:36,198 --> 00:18:37,248 It does. 213 00:18:38,951 --> 00:18:40,418 I think I got a little ahead of you. 214 00:18:41,870 --> 00:18:42,870 I'm sorry. 215 00:18:45,124 --> 00:18:46,791 Give me 15 more minutes and... 216 00:18:48,043 --> 00:18:49,177 We can try it again. 217 00:19:08,147 --> 00:19:09,680 Ah, it's stuck. 218 00:19:10,115 --> 00:19:11,449 Oh, my God! Oh, God! 219 00:19:35,390 --> 00:19:36,474 You fuck good. 220 00:19:36,508 --> 00:19:37,541 I know, you too. 221 00:20:06,038 --> 00:20:07,071 Yes! Yes! 222 00:20:07,089 --> 00:20:08,172 Ah, yes! 223 00:20:26,525 --> 00:20:27,558 Mmm. No, no, no, no! 224 00:20:28,944 --> 00:20:29,944 Off you go. 225 00:20:31,146 --> 00:20:32,146 Okay. 226 00:20:38,954 --> 00:20:39,954 Night. 227 00:21:03,645 --> 00:21:05,596 Where... where you going? 228 00:21:07,966 --> 00:21:10,467 I thought we could spend the morning together. 229 00:21:12,137 --> 00:21:14,605 Heading back to the lab, I have to check my samples. 230 00:21:19,161 --> 00:21:20,194 You'll call me? 231 00:21:22,147 --> 00:21:23,480 Don't worry so much. 232 00:22:08,693 --> 00:22:09,877 What the hell is this? 233 00:22:11,380 --> 00:22:12,380 High school! 234 00:22:17,052 --> 00:22:19,337 Wake up! Hey, wake up! 235 00:22:19,371 --> 00:22:20,471 Wake up! Ow! 236 00:22:20,505 --> 00:22:21,538 High school? 237 00:22:23,008 --> 00:22:24,592 You said you graduated from college! 238 00:22:24,876 --> 00:22:27,044 Are you serious? Oh, my God! Oh, my God! 239 00:22:28,480 --> 00:22:29,480 Huh? 240 00:22:29,731 --> 00:22:32,383 We told you we graduated from the u. Ah! 241 00:22:32,401 --> 00:22:35,603 University provisional academy, everyone calls it that. 242 00:22:35,654 --> 00:22:38,389 Oh, no, no, no, no, no! Oh, no! Sam! 243 00:22:38,407 --> 00:22:40,391 Everyone calls it that. Sam! High schooler! 244 00:22:42,027 --> 00:22:43,060 Wait! 245 00:22:43,995 --> 00:22:44,995 How old are you? 246 00:22:46,398 --> 00:22:50,284 Hey, idiot. Exactly how did you get in the bar? 247 00:22:51,453 --> 00:22:53,570 Fake id. Oh, that's nice! 248 00:22:53,588 --> 00:22:55,572 Please, God, tell me, you're not jail bait. 249 00:22:56,591 --> 00:22:59,009 Am I in trouble? Like... like with the law? 250 00:23:00,345 --> 00:23:02,630 Relax, I turn 20 in a month. 251 00:23:03,432 --> 00:23:05,049 It's okay, I just turned 18 in march. 252 00:23:06,418 --> 00:23:08,469 That's still way too close for comfort. 253 00:23:09,971 --> 00:23:12,589 Yeah, but, you had a good time, right? 254 00:23:13,725 --> 00:23:18,229 I mean, perhaps a little morning delight. 255 00:23:20,816 --> 00:23:22,400 Don't press your luck, kid. 256 00:23:36,298 --> 00:23:37,998 Call me when you're 20... 257 00:23:41,052 --> 00:23:42,219 Something. 258 00:23:47,175 --> 00:23:48,426 Listen, it's okay. 259 00:23:52,347 --> 00:23:53,514 Keep practicing. 260 00:23:55,183 --> 00:23:56,684 Don't worry, it'll get better. 261 00:24:01,740 --> 00:24:02,740 I hope. 262 00:24:03,408 --> 00:24:04,992 - Oh, my God! - Oh, my God! 263 00:24:05,193 --> 00:24:07,244 I ran into the mom in the hallway. 264 00:24:07,446 --> 00:24:10,247 Ha, dad offered me a cup of coffee, and I think he winked at me. 265 00:24:10,949 --> 00:24:14,702 What the hell are we doing? We're cradle robbing, just to avoid the fucked up gamers. 266 00:24:15,320 --> 00:24:16,360 Now, we're worse than them. 267 00:24:16,371 --> 00:24:18,856 You're just upset 'cause you couldn't get laid. 268 00:24:19,341 --> 00:24:23,711 Ow! Okay, never again! We won't even talk about it. 269 00:24:23,745 --> 00:24:27,331 Okay? Pinkie promise. Talk about what? 270 00:24:33,438 --> 00:24:35,172 High school! 18! 271 00:24:44,682 --> 00:24:45,682 Hey, Jason. 272 00:24:46,184 --> 00:24:48,352 Hey, guys, how's it going? 273 00:24:48,370 --> 00:24:51,205 Probably not as good as it is for you, Mr. pussy whipped. 274 00:24:51,823 --> 00:24:52,823 Where's miss perfect? 275 00:24:53,158 --> 00:24:55,692 Nicole. She said she'd be tied up in the lab for a while. 276 00:24:55,877 --> 00:24:56,877 Oh! 277 00:24:57,078 --> 00:24:58,078 Tiger! 278 00:24:58,380 --> 00:25:00,331 She works with plankton. Lichen. 279 00:25:00,865 --> 00:25:01,865 Whatever. 280 00:25:02,751 --> 00:25:06,003 Oh, speak of the devil, there she is. 281 00:25:08,373 --> 00:25:09,423 Wow, she's cute. 282 00:25:10,141 --> 00:25:11,141 Way to go. 283 00:25:13,979 --> 00:25:16,213 I'm Nicole, would you like to go to dinner sometime? 284 00:25:17,549 --> 00:25:19,350 Uh, yeah, yeah, I'd really like to. 285 00:25:36,001 --> 00:25:37,751 Guess she does have a game, after all. 286 00:25:38,336 --> 00:25:39,336 Sorry, jase. 287 00:25:41,506 --> 00:25:42,673 Anyway, fuck her. 288 00:25:44,509 --> 00:25:45,676 Yeah! 289 00:25:45,910 --> 00:25:46,910 Oh! 290 00:25:47,345 --> 00:25:48,796 Buck up, little dude. 291 00:25:49,047 --> 00:25:50,180 Hey, wanna go get brunch? 292 00:25:50,932 --> 00:25:52,049 Where do you wanna go? 293 00:25:53,018 --> 00:25:54,385 A place that serves pomegeddons. 294 00:25:55,804 --> 00:25:56,804 They're on me. 295 00:25:57,556 --> 00:25:58,639 Come on. 296 00:25:59,891 --> 00:26:00,891 Come on. 20605

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