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1
00:00:09,840 --> 00:00:11,091
WAIT, WAIT, WAIT. HONEY, HONEY.
2
00:00:11,092 --> 00:00:12,432
HONEY, WAIT, WAIT, WAIT.
3
00:00:12,433 --> 00:00:13,933
EVEN THOUGH WE'RE COMING
BACK FROM THE HOSPITAL,
4
00:00:13,934 --> 00:00:15,805
TECHNICALLY WE ARE STILL
COMING BACK FROM OUR WEDDING,
5
00:00:15,806 --> 00:00:17,267
AND THERE ARE TRADITIONS.
6
00:00:17,268 --> 00:00:18,518
WHICH CAN WAIT.
7
00:00:18,519 --> 00:00:20,640
NO. UNH-UH. NOPE. SORRY.
8
00:00:20,641 --> 00:00:24,904
THIS NEW HUSBAND WILL NOW CARRY
HIS NEW WIFE OVER THE THRESHOLD.
9
00:00:24,905 --> 00:00:26,447
BUT I REALLY GOT TO PEE.
10
00:00:28,699 --> 00:00:30,110
SO I WON'T PICK YOU
UP BY THE BLADDER.
11
00:00:30,111 --> 00:00:31,651
HERE WE GO. READY? 1, 2, 3!
12
00:00:31,652 --> 00:00:32,652
OH! WHOA! OH!
13
00:00:32,653 --> 00:00:33,653
HERE WE GO. OKAY, READY?
14
00:00:33,654 --> 00:00:34,654
- OKAY.
- YEAH.
15
00:00:34,655 --> 00:00:35,825
OH! AHH!
16
00:00:35,826 --> 00:00:36,826
OH!
17
00:00:36,827 --> 00:00:37,827
YOU CALL THAT CAREFUL?
18
00:00:37,828 --> 00:00:39,419
PUT ME DOWN, PLEASE.
19
00:00:39,420 --> 00:00:42,832
NO. WE'RE DOING THIS.
20
00:00:42,833 --> 00:00:44,425
THERE ARE OTHER
THRESHOLDS IN THIS HOUSE.
21
00:00:46,006 --> 00:00:47,006
AHH!
22
00:00:47,007 --> 00:00:48,839
YEAH! TA-DA!
23
00:00:53,224 --> 00:00:54,344
WASN'T THAT ROMANTIC?
24
00:00:54,345 --> 00:00:56,387
YEAH, YEAH, YEAH. I
GOT TO PEE SO BAD.
25
00:00:57,848 --> 00:00:58,848
IN 20 YEARS, YOU'RE GOING TO BE
26
00:00:58,849 --> 00:00:59,939
VERY HAPPY THAT I JUST DID THAT.
27
00:00:59,940 --> 00:01:00,940
NO, I WON'T.
28
00:01:00,941 --> 00:01:02,442
- YEAH, YOU WILL.
- WILL NOT.
29
00:01:02,443 --> 00:01:03,893
( mouths )
30
00:01:03,894 --> 00:01:06,066
I HEARD THAT!
31
00:01:08,109 --> 00:01:10,400
- ♪ IT'S ALL GOOD ♪
- ♪ All good ♪
32
00:01:10,401 --> 00:01:12,112
- ♪ IT'S OKAY ♪
- ♪ OKAY ♪
33
00:01:12,113 --> 00:01:13,903
- ♪ IT'S ALL RIGHT ♪
- ♪ All right ♪
34
00:01:13,904 --> 00:01:15,405
♪ AS FAR AS I CAN SEE ♪
35
00:01:15,406 --> 00:01:17,197
- ♪ IT'S ALL GOOD ♪
- ♪ All good ♪
36
00:01:17,198 --> 00:01:19,499
- ♪ IT'S OKAY ♪
- ♪ OKAY ♪
37
00:01:19,500 --> 00:01:20,790
- ♪ IT'S ALL RIGHT ♪
- ♪ All right ♪
38
00:01:20,791 --> 00:01:26,627
♪ I GUESS YOU'RE STUCK WITH ME ♪
39
00:01:29,420 --> 00:01:31,211
Melissa: I HAD TO
TOAST MY OWN BAGEL!
40
00:01:31,212 --> 00:01:33,263
OH, THANK YOU, EVERYBODY,
41
00:01:33,264 --> 00:01:34,424
FOR HELPING THE CRIPPLED BRIDE!
42
00:01:34,425 --> 00:01:37,017
OH, I LOVE YOU ALL SO MUCH.
43
00:01:40,431 --> 00:01:41,892
WHERE'S MY COFFEE?
44
00:01:43,023 --> 00:01:45,226
OH, DAMN.
45
00:01:48,028 --> 00:01:49,399
HEY, LOOK AT YOU GETTING
AROUND LIKE A PRO.
46
00:01:49,400 --> 00:01:51,231
I TRIED TO SCRATCH MY KNEE
47
00:01:51,232 --> 00:01:53,993
AND I GOT A FORK
STUCK DOWN THERE.
48
00:01:53,994 --> 00:01:55,195
I GUESS THAT MEANS YOU'RE DONE.
49
00:01:55,196 --> 00:01:56,367
OH!
50
00:01:58,909 --> 00:02:00,039
WELL, GET READY TO LOVE ME,
51
00:02:00,040 --> 00:02:01,040
BECAUSE I JUST GOT US
52
00:02:01,041 --> 00:02:02,622
A FULL REFUND FOR OUR HONEYMOON.
53
00:02:02,623 --> 00:02:03,833
THAT'S RIGHT, BABY. YEAH.
54
00:02:03,834 --> 00:02:05,835
HOTEL, AIRFARE... THE
WORKS, ALL RIGHT?
55
00:02:05,836 --> 00:02:06,916
AND IF I RECALL,
56
00:02:06,917 --> 00:02:08,298
A CERTAIN PERSON
HERE IN THE KITCHEN
57
00:02:08,299 --> 00:02:10,009
LAUGHED AT ME FOR
BUYING TRIP INSURANCE.
58
00:02:10,010 --> 00:02:11,961
SO A LATTE A DAY.
59
00:02:11,962 --> 00:02:14,133
YAY FOR US. WE'RE NOT
GOING TO TAHITI.
60
00:02:14,134 --> 00:02:15,425
HEY, YOU KNOW WHAT?
61
00:02:15,426 --> 00:02:17,217
LET'S TAKE A PICTURE IN
FRONT OF THE REFUND CHECK
62
00:02:17,218 --> 00:02:19,889
POST IT, AND MAKE ALL
OF OUR FRIENDS JEALOUS.
63
00:02:19,890 --> 00:02:22,432
I KNOW YOU'RE DISAPPOINTED WE
CAN'T GO ON THE HONEYMOON,
64
00:02:22,433 --> 00:02:23,433
BUT I PROMISE YOU,
65
00:02:23,434 --> 00:02:24,814
WHEN YOU'RE UP AND
RUNNING AT 100%,
66
00:02:24,815 --> 00:02:26,816
I'M GOING TO TAKE YOU ON
THAT HONEYMOON, OKAY?
67
00:02:26,817 --> 00:02:28,228
ALONG WITH ALL THE
EXCITING THINGS
68
00:02:28,229 --> 00:02:30,480
THAT HAPPEN ON A HONEYMOON.
69
00:02:30,481 --> 00:02:33,443
OH, I'M NOT WAITING ANOTHER
FOUR WEEKS FOR THAT.
70
00:02:33,444 --> 00:02:34,824
I WANT IT NOW.
71
00:02:34,825 --> 00:02:35,776
THIS MARRIAGE NEEDS
72
00:02:35,777 --> 00:02:36,946
TO BE CONSUMMATED.
73
00:02:36,947 --> 00:02:38,198
ALL RIGHT, LET'S GO UPSTAIRS.
74
00:02:38,199 --> 00:02:39,829
NO. THIS IS NOT TAHITI.
75
00:02:39,830 --> 00:02:42,622
THIS IS HARDLY A
ROMANTIC SETTING.
76
00:02:42,623 --> 00:02:44,454
WELL, LET'S CHANGE
ALL THAT, SEXY MAMA.
77
00:02:44,455 --> 00:02:47,417
COME ON. OOH. DO YOU FEEL THAT?
78
00:02:47,418 --> 00:02:48,548
DO YOU FEEL THAT WARM,
79
00:02:48,549 --> 00:02:50,090
TROPICAL, ROMANTIC BREEZE?
80
00:02:53,554 --> 00:02:55,004
BRING IT IN. COME ON.
81
00:02:55,005 --> 00:02:56,426
( alarm beeping )
82
00:02:56,427 --> 00:02:58,798
IS THAT THE SMOKE ALARM?
WHAT IS IT?
83
00:02:58,799 --> 00:03:00,099
THAT WOULD BE THE TOASTER.
84
00:03:00,100 --> 00:03:01,971
SEE, AND THAT'S WHAT
HAPPENS TO A TOASTER
85
00:03:01,972 --> 00:03:04,013
WHEN SOMEBODY DOESN'T TAKE THE
CRUMBS OUT OF THE BOTTOM OF IT.
86
00:03:04,014 --> 00:03:06,015
OH, WOW. THAT WAS SO HOT.
87
00:03:06,016 --> 00:03:07,977
LECTURE ME AGAIN, BAD BOY.
88
00:03:07,978 --> 00:03:09,229
ALL RIGHT, YOU'RE RIGHT. FINE.
89
00:03:09,230 --> 00:03:10,900
IT'S NOT IMPORTANT.
IT'S JUST A TOASTER.
90
00:03:10,901 --> 00:03:12,652
THERE ARE WAY MORE
IMPORTANT THINGS,
91
00:03:12,653 --> 00:03:15,405
LIKE, UM, YOU KNOW, HOW
WELL YOU'RE DOING,
92
00:03:15,406 --> 00:03:16,986
BECAUSE YOU HAVE HAD
ONE HECK OF A WEEK.
93
00:03:16,987 --> 00:03:18,818
I MEAN, DREAM WEDDING
INTERRUPTED,
94
00:03:18,819 --> 00:03:20,410
MY DAUGHTER MOVING IN WITH US.
95
00:03:20,411 --> 00:03:21,621
YOU FALLING OFF THE ROOF.
96
00:03:21,622 --> 00:03:23,122
US HAVING TO GET
MARRIED IN A HOSPITAL.
97
00:03:23,123 --> 00:03:24,454
AND YOU KNOW WHAT?
THROUGH IT ALL, SWEETIE,
98
00:03:24,455 --> 00:03:26,035
SOMEHOW YOU MANAGED TO
MAINTAIN YOUR SENSE OF HUMOR.
99
00:03:26,036 --> 00:03:28,918
AND I LOOK FABULOUS.
100
00:03:28,919 --> 00:03:30,250
YEAH, THAT GOES WITHOUT SAYING.
101
00:03:30,251 --> 00:03:33,793
I MEAN... THAT'S WHY
I DIDN'T SAY IT.
102
00:03:33,794 --> 00:03:35,835
BUT YOU KNOW WHAT WE
NEED TO DO RIGHT NOW?
103
00:03:35,836 --> 00:03:37,467
WE NEED TO TAKE CARE OF YOU.
104
00:03:37,468 --> 00:03:39,640
COME ON. BRING IT IN.
105
00:03:40,801 --> 00:03:43,222
JOE! JOE! THE
TOILET'S OVERFLOWING!
106
00:03:43,223 --> 00:03:45,935
ALL I DID WAS FLUSH IT.
NOT MY FAULT.
107
00:03:45,936 --> 00:03:47,727
DID YOU JIGGLE THE
HANDLE FIRST, HONEY?
108
00:03:47,728 --> 00:03:48,728
YOU GOT TO JIGGLE
THE HANDLE FIRST.
109
00:03:48,729 --> 00:03:49,849
HEY, I'M NEW HERE.
110
00:03:49,850 --> 00:03:50,811
I DON'T KNOW HOW
YOUR TOILETS WORK.
111
00:03:50,812 --> 00:03:52,442
DANI, YOU GOT TO
JIGGLE THE HANDLE!
112
00:03:52,443 --> 00:03:54,944
I TOLD YOU THAT STUFF'S
GOING TO GET EVERYWHERE!
113
00:03:54,945 --> 00:03:55,906
I'LL GET THE PLUNGER!
114
00:03:55,907 --> 00:03:58,859
IT'S THE HONEYMOON I
ALWAYS DREAMED OF.
115
00:03:59,780 --> 00:04:01,412
OH, THE FREAKING FORK!
116
00:04:03,784 --> 00:04:06,205
NICE VIEW OF THE HILLS.
117
00:04:06,206 --> 00:04:07,957
SHH! SOMEONE MIGHT HEAR.
118
00:04:07,958 --> 00:04:09,789
OKAY, BUT WE'RE A COUPLE NOW.
119
00:04:09,790 --> 00:04:12,332
THAT'S CUTE COUPLE BANTER.
120
00:04:12,333 --> 00:04:14,834
LOOK, WHATEVER WE ARE,
NO ONE NEEDS TO KNOW.
121
00:04:14,835 --> 00:04:15,835
COME ON! LET'S TELL THEM!
122
00:04:15,836 --> 00:04:17,797
MARCO, WE'VE BEEN OVER THIS.
123
00:04:17,798 --> 00:04:20,800
IF YOUR UNCLE JOE FINDS
OUT, HE WILL KILL YOU.
124
00:04:20,801 --> 00:04:22,011
AND IF WE TELL MY AUNT MEL,
125
00:04:22,012 --> 00:04:24,594
SHE'LL TELL JOE, AND
HE WILL KILL YOU.
126
00:04:24,595 --> 00:04:25,805
NAH. HE WON'T.
127
00:04:25,806 --> 00:04:26,806
HE WAS TELLING ME THIS MORNING
128
00:04:26,807 --> 00:04:28,308
HOW GLAD HE IS TO
HAVE ME AROUND.
129
00:04:28,309 --> 00:04:30,229
BECAUSE HE THINKS YOU
STAYED IN TOWN TO HELP OUT,
130
00:04:30,230 --> 00:04:31,651
BUY GROCERIES.
131
00:04:31,652 --> 00:04:33,022
HE THINKS ALL YOU'RE
DOING IS ERRANDS,
132
00:04:33,023 --> 00:04:36,816
NOT, YOU KNOW, ME.
133
00:04:36,817 --> 00:04:40,610
AND HAVE I BEEN HELPFUL
WITH THE GROCERIES?
134
00:04:40,611 --> 00:04:42,612
IF YOU KNOW WHAT I MEAN.
135
00:04:42,613 --> 00:04:43,823
YES, I DO.
136
00:04:43,824 --> 00:04:46,786
AND RESTOCKING SHELVES
THIS MORNING,
137
00:04:46,787 --> 00:04:49,248
DID YOU LIKE THAT?
138
00:04:49,249 --> 00:04:51,411
OKAY, STOP IT.
139
00:04:51,412 --> 00:04:53,673
IT'S JUST TOO RISKY
TO LET PEOPLE KNOW.
140
00:04:53,674 --> 00:04:55,625
WHAT'S TOO RISKY?
141
00:04:55,626 --> 00:04:56,966
WHERE DID YOU COME FROM?
142
00:04:56,967 --> 00:04:59,419
A ONE-NIGHT STAND
BETWEEN JOE AND MY MOM.
143
00:04:59,420 --> 00:05:00,421
BUT YOU KNOW THAT.
144
00:05:01,802 --> 00:05:04,013
NOW, TELL ME WHAT'S TOO RISKY.
145
00:05:04,014 --> 00:05:05,845
OKAY, NO ONE KNOWS THIS YET,
146
00:05:05,846 --> 00:05:08,519
- BUT LENNOX AND I...
- HAVE PSORIASIS.
147
00:05:10,140 --> 00:05:11,811
- REALLY?
- YES.
148
00:05:11,812 --> 00:05:14,233
OH. ITCHY, ITCHY PSORIASIS.
149
00:05:14,234 --> 00:05:16,025
AND WE'RE JUST NOT COMFORTABLE
150
00:05:16,026 --> 00:05:18,197
TELLING PEOPLE ABOUT IT.
151
00:05:18,198 --> 00:05:20,780
- RIGHT, MARCO?
- THAT'S RIGHT.
152
00:05:20,781 --> 00:05:24,615
WE SCRATCH EACH OTHER SECRETLY.
153
00:05:26,657 --> 00:05:28,748
OKAY, JUST PUT THE
GROCERIES AWAY.
154
00:05:28,749 --> 00:05:29,999
WHY DON'T WE BOTH PUT THEM AWAY?
155
00:05:30,000 --> 00:05:32,912
THEN WE CAN GO BACK TO
SCRATCHING EACH OTHER.
156
00:05:32,913 --> 00:05:34,794
I DON'T ITCH RIGHT NOW.
157
00:05:34,795 --> 00:05:38,007
MAYBE WE CAN PUT AWAY A
COUPLE CANS OF SOUP,
158
00:05:38,008 --> 00:05:39,299
SEE WHAT HAPPENS.
159
00:05:42,222 --> 00:05:43,843
AUNT MEL, I NEED TO TALK.
160
00:05:43,844 --> 00:05:45,845
- I'VE GOT A PROBLEM.
- OH, ME TOO.
161
00:05:45,846 --> 00:05:46,847
PAINT MY TOES.
162
00:05:48,429 --> 00:05:51,020
OKAY, IT'S ABOUT A RELATIONSHIP,
AND IT'S COMPLICATED.
163
00:05:51,021 --> 00:05:53,022
OH! YOU'RE GETTING BACK
TOGETHER WITH ZANDER!
164
00:05:53,023 --> 00:05:54,644
SO THAT THING AT THE WEDDING
WAS JUST A LITTLE TIFF?
165
00:05:54,645 --> 00:05:56,646
- I KNEW IT.
- ARE YOU KIDDING?
166
00:05:56,647 --> 00:05:58,237
ZANDER AND I ARE OVER FOREVER.
167
00:05:58,238 --> 00:05:59,899
AS IT SHOULD BE.
168
00:05:59,900 --> 00:06:01,401
I MEAN, WE WERE BARELY BROKEN UP
169
00:06:01,402 --> 00:06:03,192
AND HE GOES OFF AND SLEEPS
WITH ONE OF HIS ROOMMATES.
170
00:06:03,193 --> 00:06:05,194
WELL, YOU KNOW WHAT? I
CAN DO THE SAME THING.
171
00:06:05,195 --> 00:06:07,617
- SO I DID.
- OOH, REBOUND FLING?
172
00:06:07,618 --> 00:06:08,698
THOSE CAN BE SO HOT.
173
00:06:08,699 --> 00:06:09,789
OH, YEAH.
174
00:06:09,790 --> 00:06:10,790
OH, I BET I KNOW WHO IT IS.
175
00:06:10,791 --> 00:06:12,121
YOU DON'T KNOW HIM.
176
00:06:12,122 --> 00:06:13,413
I BET IT'S THAT NORWEGIAN
EXCHANGE STUDENT
177
00:06:13,414 --> 00:06:14,834
WHO DROVE YOU HOME LAST WEEK.
178
00:06:14,835 --> 00:06:15,995
TORBETT, RIGHT?
179
00:06:15,996 --> 00:06:18,207
YES, TORBETT,
180
00:06:18,208 --> 00:06:20,671
WITH HIS SPICY NORWEGIAN BLOOD.
181
00:06:21,802 --> 00:06:23,423
BUT HERE'S THE PROBLEM.
182
00:06:23,424 --> 00:06:24,844
TORBETT WANTS TO
BE MY BOYFRIEND,
183
00:06:24,845 --> 00:06:26,926
OUT IN THE OPEN, FULL-TIME.
184
00:06:26,927 --> 00:06:28,558
AND YOU DON'T THINK HE'S
BOYFRIEND MATERIAL?
185
00:06:28,559 --> 00:06:30,009
HE'S NOT.
186
00:06:30,010 --> 00:06:32,432
WE'RE JUST TOO... DIFFERENT.
187
00:06:32,433 --> 00:06:34,774
BUT HOW DO YOU TELL A GUY
THAT WITHOUT HURTING HIM?
188
00:06:34,775 --> 00:06:37,016
YOU JUST GOT TO BE
HONEST WITH HIM.
189
00:06:37,017 --> 00:06:38,858
I WANT TO, BUT THEN HE
TAKES HIS SHIRT OFF,
190
00:06:38,859 --> 00:06:40,820
AND I FORGET WHAT
I'M GOING TO SAY.
191
00:06:40,821 --> 00:06:43,282
YEAH, I AM FAMILIAR
WITH SIX-PACK AMNESIA.
192
00:06:43,283 --> 00:06:44,984
BOTH KINDS.
193
00:06:44,985 --> 00:06:47,196
BUT, YOU KNOW, IN MY
PERSONAL EXPERIENCE,
194
00:06:47,197 --> 00:06:50,409
I HAVE LEARNED THAT MEN
HAVE FEELINGS, TOO,
195
00:06:50,410 --> 00:06:51,701
AND YOU CAN'T LEAD THEM ON.
196
00:06:51,702 --> 00:06:52,992
SO BREAK UP WITH HIM?
197
00:06:52,993 --> 00:06:54,494
- YES.
- IS THAT WHAT YOU WOULD DO?
198
00:06:54,495 --> 00:06:56,415
NO.
199
00:06:56,416 --> 00:06:57,798
AND THAT'S HOW I KNOW
IT'S THE RIGHT THING.
200
00:07:02,422 --> 00:07:04,003
- HEY!
- HEY.
201
00:07:04,004 --> 00:07:05,845
WAIT A MINUTE. YOU
WERE OUT BY YOURSELF?
202
00:07:05,846 --> 00:07:07,096
I THOUGHT YOU WERE
UPSTAIRS RESTING.
203
00:07:07,097 --> 00:07:09,218
NOPE. I WAS ON A
MISSION OF LOVE.
204
00:07:09,219 --> 00:07:10,680
I UBER'ED TO THE DOCTOR,
205
00:07:10,681 --> 00:07:13,222
AND GOT MYSELF THIS LITTLE MINI!
206
00:07:13,223 --> 00:07:15,855
WELL, LOOK AT THAT.
IT'S FUN-SIZED.
207
00:07:15,856 --> 00:07:16,856
YEAH!
208
00:07:16,857 --> 00:07:18,017
FUN IS RIGHT,
209
00:07:18,018 --> 00:07:21,561
BECAUSE NOW EVERYTHING IS
MORE, MMM, ACCESSIBLE.
210
00:07:21,562 --> 00:07:22,862
THAT'S GOING TO BE VERY HELPFUL.
211
00:07:22,863 --> 00:07:24,774
LISTEN, I KNOW HOW
DISAPPOINTED YOU'VE BEEN
212
00:07:24,775 --> 00:07:25,985
ABOUT THE HONEYMOON, OKAY?
213
00:07:25,986 --> 00:07:28,778
BUT I WANT YOU TO KNOW ALL
THAT HAS NOW BEEN FIXED,
214
00:07:28,779 --> 00:07:30,620
BY ME, FOR YOU...
215
00:07:30,621 --> 00:07:32,411
MRS. LONGO.
216
00:07:32,412 --> 00:07:34,704
WHOA. WHO SAID I'M MRS. LONGO?
217
00:07:34,705 --> 00:07:37,577
MRS. MEL MY NEW WIFE.
218
00:07:37,578 --> 00:07:40,419
YOU ARE GETTING THAT
ROMANTIC GETAWAY AFTER ALL.
219
00:07:40,420 --> 00:07:43,212
I FOUND US AN INCREDIBLE
LAST-MINUTE HONEYMOON DEAL.
220
00:07:43,213 --> 00:07:44,343
WHERE?
221
00:07:44,344 --> 00:07:46,425
INCREDIBLE-LAST-MINUTE
HONEYMOON-DEALS-DOT.COM.
222
00:07:46,426 --> 00:07:48,848
"SECLUDED CABINS, FIREPLACES,
223
00:07:48,849 --> 00:07:50,349
"PANORAMIC VIEWS OF LAKE EERIE."
224
00:07:50,350 --> 00:07:51,681
JOE, IT LOOKS SO PRETTY,
225
00:07:51,682 --> 00:07:54,093
BUT CAN WE REALLY JUST UP
AND GO AWAY RIGHT NOW?
226
00:07:54,094 --> 00:07:55,645
YES, WE CAN.
227
00:07:55,646 --> 00:07:56,806
LOOK, RYDER'S GOING TO BE AT
HIS FRIEND'S HOUSE ALL WEEK
228
00:07:56,807 --> 00:07:58,437
'CAUSE HE THOUGHT WE WERE
GOING TO BE IN TAHITI.
229
00:07:58,438 --> 00:08:02,021
OKAY, NEVER SAY TAHITI UNLESS
WE ARE STANDING ON IT.
230
00:08:02,022 --> 00:08:04,403
MY POINT IS, HE'S TAKEN CARE OF.
231
00:08:04,404 --> 00:08:06,606
WELL, WHAT ABOUT DANI? SHE'S
BRAND NEW IN THE HOUSE.
232
00:08:06,607 --> 00:08:08,659
SHE DOESN'T EVEN KNOW
HOW WE USE OUR TOILETS.
233
00:08:09,780 --> 00:08:11,410
SHE'S GOT A LITTLE BIT
OF A TROUBLED PAST.
234
00:08:11,411 --> 00:08:13,242
ARE YOU SURE WE CAN LEAVE
HER HERE UNSUPERVISED?
235
00:08:13,243 --> 00:08:14,874
WE'RE NOT GOING TO BE LEAVING
HER HERE UNSUPERVISED
236
00:08:14,875 --> 00:08:15,875
BECAUSE...
237
00:08:15,876 --> 00:08:17,416
REMEMBER WHEN I HAD
THAT SECURITY COMPANY
238
00:08:17,417 --> 00:08:19,118
COME OVER HERE AND
INSTALL THOSE CAMERAS?
239
00:08:19,119 --> 00:08:21,000
I FINALLY DOWNLOADED THE
APP UP ON MY PHONE,
240
00:08:21,001 --> 00:08:22,622
SO NOW WE CAN CHECK IN
AND SEE WHAT'S GOING ON
241
00:08:22,623 --> 00:08:23,793
IN THIS HOUSE WHENEVER WE WANT.
242
00:08:23,794 --> 00:08:25,424
WATCH THIS. THERE WE GO.
243
00:08:25,425 --> 00:08:27,426
HI. HEY. HEY, EVERYBODY.
244
00:08:27,427 --> 00:08:29,428
HI. IT'S US.
245
00:08:29,429 --> 00:08:30,930
HEY, DID YOU PUT ONE OF
THESE IN OUR BEDROOM?
246
00:08:30,931 --> 00:08:32,842
- NO.
- COULD YOU?
247
00:08:32,843 --> 00:08:34,134
ALREADY DID, BABY.
248
00:08:35,395 --> 00:08:36,636
YEAH!
249
00:08:36,637 --> 00:08:38,638
SO NOT ONLY DO WE
HAVE THE CAMERAS,
250
00:08:38,639 --> 00:08:40,229
BUT SHE'S ALSO GOING TO
HAVE TWO CHAPERONES HERE.
251
00:08:40,230 --> 00:08:42,021
SHE'S GOT, FOR THE BRAWN, MARCO,
252
00:08:42,022 --> 00:08:43,402
AND FOR THE BRAINS,
253
00:08:43,403 --> 00:08:44,774
THE MOST RESPONSIBLE
GIRL IN THE WHOLE WORLD.
254
00:08:44,775 --> 00:08:45,946
LENNOX!
255
00:08:47,778 --> 00:08:50,990
- LENNOX!
- WHAT? WHAT?
256
00:08:50,991 --> 00:08:51,991
Joey: COULD YOU COME
DOWN HERE FOR A SECOND?
257
00:08:51,992 --> 00:08:53,322
WE NEED TO TALK!
258
00:08:53,323 --> 00:08:55,616
TELL HIM YOU'RE BUSY.
259
00:08:57,537 --> 00:08:59,869
NO. PUT YOUR SHIRT ON.
260
00:08:59,870 --> 00:09:01,210
I'LL BE RIGHT THERE.
261
00:09:01,211 --> 00:09:03,423
YOU... THAT SHIRT NEVER
COMES OFF AGAIN.
262
00:09:06,627 --> 00:09:08,838
ALL RIGHT, YOU GUYS ARE IN
CHARGE UNTIL WE GET BACK.
263
00:09:08,839 --> 00:09:10,970
THIS SHOULD BE ENOUGH
TO COVER ALL THE MEALS.
264
00:09:10,971 --> 00:09:12,802
AUNT MEL, THE ONLY PEOPLE
WHO USE CASH ANYMORE
265
00:09:12,803 --> 00:09:15,434
ARE DRUG DEALERS AND
THE TOOTH FAIRY.
266
00:09:15,435 --> 00:09:17,847
WHAT KIND OF KID
TURNS DOWN MONEY?
267
00:09:17,848 --> 00:09:20,439
OH, I'M TAKING IT. I'M JUST
BEING SNARKY ABOUT IT.
268
00:09:20,440 --> 00:09:22,982
MARCO, MAKE YOURSELF USEFUL.
269
00:09:22,983 --> 00:09:25,445
THERE IS NO OTHER
REASON I'M HERE.
270
00:09:26,987 --> 00:09:27,987
SO, DANI, LISTEN, HONEY.
271
00:09:27,988 --> 00:09:29,989
I LEFT THE NUMBER TO
THE INN ON THE FRIDGE.
272
00:09:29,990 --> 00:09:32,111
WHY WOULDN'T I JUST
CALL YOUR CELL PHONE?
273
00:09:32,112 --> 00:09:33,823
WELL, IN CASE THERE'S
A METEOR SHOWER
274
00:09:33,824 --> 00:09:35,324
AND IT KNOCKS OUT ALL THE
CELLULAR TRANSMISSION.
275
00:09:35,325 --> 00:09:36,616
OH, WELL, THEN WE'LL BE OKAY
276
00:09:36,617 --> 00:09:38,959
WITH OUR $40 CASH UNTIL
THE ZOMBIES ATTACK.
277
00:09:40,410 --> 00:09:42,461
I LEFT MY PAINKILLERS UPSTAIRS.
278
00:09:42,462 --> 00:09:43,623
OH, I'LL GET THEM FOR YOU.
279
00:09:43,624 --> 00:09:45,164
OH, THANKS, SWEETHEART.
280
00:09:45,165 --> 00:09:48,207
OH, AND I COUNTED THEM!
281
00:09:48,208 --> 00:09:49,799
SO DID YOU BREAK UP
WITH TORBETT YET?
282
00:09:49,800 --> 00:09:51,010
OH, I TRIED,
283
00:09:51,011 --> 00:09:52,632
- BUT HE TOOK HIS SHIRT OFF.
- YES.
284
00:09:52,633 --> 00:09:56,595
AND FOR EVERY AB, MY I.Q.
DROPPED 10 POINTS.
285
00:09:56,596 --> 00:09:59,429
- HE MUST BE REALLY CUTE.
- SO CUTE!
286
00:10:01,812 --> 00:10:04,103
- WHO'S CUTE?
- OH, YOU ARE, HONEY.
287
00:10:04,104 --> 00:10:05,985
I KNOW THAT. WHAT WERE
YOU GUYS TALKING ABOUT?
288
00:10:05,986 --> 00:10:08,187
OH, SHE'S SEEING
THIS BOY AT SCHOOL.
289
00:10:08,188 --> 00:10:09,819
A NORWEGIAN NAMED TORBETT.
290
00:10:09,820 --> 00:10:10,820
APPARENTLY HE'S REALLY HOT,
291
00:10:10,821 --> 00:10:12,401
BUT NOT RIGHT FOR THE LONG TERM.
292
00:10:12,402 --> 00:10:14,193
I MISS WHEN I WAS RUNNING AROUND
293
00:10:14,194 --> 00:10:15,996
WITH SCANDINAVIAN STRANGE.
294
00:10:18,789 --> 00:10:20,119
REALLY?
295
00:10:20,120 --> 00:10:21,580
THAT'S WHAT YOU SAY
TO YOUR NEW HUSBAND
296
00:10:21,581 --> 00:10:23,202
RIGHT BEFORE WE'RE ABOUT
TO LEAVE ON OUR HONEYMOON?
297
00:10:23,203 --> 00:10:25,005
I NEED THE KEYS, UNCLE JOE.
298
00:10:27,207 --> 00:10:28,838
I'M JUST GLAD SHE'S NOT
GOING OUT WITH THAT ONE.
299
00:10:28,839 --> 00:10:30,089
WHY? WHAT'S WRONG
WITH YOUR NEPHEW?
300
00:10:30,090 --> 00:10:31,420
WOMEN ARE SO BLIND.
301
00:10:31,421 --> 00:10:32,631
COME ON, HONEY. HE'S A PLAYER.
302
00:10:32,632 --> 00:10:33,632
WHAT? HE SEEMS SO SWEET?
303
00:10:33,633 --> 00:10:34,924
LIKE ALL GOOD PLAYERS DO.
304
00:10:34,925 --> 00:10:37,847
OH, YEAH? YOU SAY THAT LIKE
YOU'RE THE MAYOR OF PLAYERTOWN.
305
00:10:37,848 --> 00:10:40,519
UH-HUH. I SERVED FOR TWO TERMS.
306
00:10:40,520 --> 00:10:41,851
LOOK, YOU DON'T HAVE TO BRAG
307
00:10:41,852 --> 00:10:42,852
JUT BECAUSE I HAD
A COLORFUL PAST.
308
00:10:42,853 --> 00:10:44,764
I'M NOT. I'M JUST TELLING YOU
309
00:10:44,765 --> 00:10:46,976
THAT WHEN YOU WERE OUT HAVING YOUR
INAPPROPRIATE NORDIC BOYFRIENDS,
310
00:10:46,977 --> 00:10:49,608
I WAS, UH... WELL,
HOW CAN I PUT THIS?
311
00:10:49,609 --> 00:10:50,770
LET ME SEE. OKAY.
312
00:10:50,771 --> 00:10:53,823
- I WAS UP TO HERE IN...
- THANKS. I GOT IT.
313
00:10:53,824 --> 00:10:55,985
LOOK, ALL I'M SAYING IS
IF A HOUND LIKE THAT
314
00:10:55,986 --> 00:10:57,907
EVER SO MUCH AS LAID A HAND
ON MY PRECIOUS LENNOX,
315
00:10:57,908 --> 00:11:00,159
I SWEAR... THERE HE IS!
316
00:11:00,160 --> 00:11:02,121
HEY! MY FAVORITE NEPHEW.
317
00:11:02,122 --> 00:11:03,833
MARCO, I GOT TO TELL YOU, MAN,
318
00:11:03,834 --> 00:11:04,994
IT'S BEEN REALLY GREAT
HAVING YOU AROUND.
319
00:11:04,995 --> 00:11:07,837
HEY, WITH MY NEW
AUNT RECUPERATING
320
00:11:07,838 --> 00:11:09,999
AND MY NEW COUSIN NEEDING
A LITTLE GUIDANCE,
321
00:11:10,000 --> 00:11:12,211
I'M GLAD TO STICK AROUND AS
LONG AS I CAN BE USEFUL.
322
00:11:12,212 --> 00:11:13,843
IT'S WHAT FAMILY DOES.
323
00:11:13,844 --> 00:11:16,846
YOU KNOW WHAT? I THINK YOU'RE
FINALLY STARTING TO GROW UP, MAN.
324
00:11:16,847 --> 00:11:17,847
GET IN HERE. COME ON.
325
00:11:17,848 --> 00:11:18,848
HEY, HEY! HO! HO!
326
00:11:18,849 --> 00:11:19,850
HEY!
327
00:11:21,431 --> 00:11:23,062
- YOU STILL GOT IT.
- DON'T EVER FORGET IT.
328
00:11:23,063 --> 00:11:24,805
LENNOX, WE'RE LEAVING!
329
00:11:26,016 --> 00:11:27,436
SO LISTEN, DANI.
330
00:11:27,437 --> 00:11:28,768
YOU GOT TO LISTEN TO MARCO AND
LENNOX FOR THE NEXT THREE DAYS.
331
00:11:28,769 --> 00:11:30,189
HEY, I'LL BE FINE.
332
00:11:30,190 --> 00:11:31,811
I ONCE STAYED A WEEK BY MYSELF
333
00:11:31,812 --> 00:11:33,272
WHEN MY MOM TOOK OFF
WITH BRETT MICHAELS.
334
00:11:33,273 --> 00:11:36,776
BRETT MICHAELS? YUM!
335
00:11:36,777 --> 00:11:39,698
REALLY? BRETT MICHAELS?
336
00:11:39,699 --> 00:11:43,453
OH, I THOUGHT SHE SAID
CINNAMON ROLLS. YUM!
337
00:11:46,206 --> 00:11:48,417
I GOT TO SAY, I'M
A LITTLE BUMMED
338
00:11:48,418 --> 00:11:50,209
THAT I JUST GOT HERE AND YOU
GUYS ARE ALREADY GOING AWAY.
339
00:11:50,210 --> 00:11:52,381
SWEETHEART, WE'LL BE
BACK BEFORE YOU KNOW IT.
340
00:11:52,382 --> 00:11:53,382
BYE.
341
00:11:53,383 --> 00:11:54,383
Joey: BE GOOD. LISTEN TO THEM.
342
00:11:54,384 --> 00:11:55,795
- I LOVE YOU, GUYS.
- HEY, KEYS!
343
00:11:55,796 --> 00:11:57,006
OH!
344
00:11:57,007 --> 00:11:58,007
BYE.
345
00:11:58,008 --> 00:11:59,639
I'M REALLY GOING TO MISS YOU!
346
00:12:01,431 --> 00:12:04,934
ALL RIGHT. PARTY TIME!
347
00:12:04,935 --> 00:12:07,016
OH, YEAH. IT'S A
HOMEWORK PARTY UPSTAIRS,
348
00:12:07,017 --> 00:12:08,307
AND YOU'RE THE ONLY ONE INVITED.
349
00:12:08,308 --> 00:12:10,189
OH, COME ON, I'M NEW
AT THAT SCHOOL.
350
00:12:10,190 --> 00:12:11,190
I STILL GOT TWO MORE WEEKS
351
00:12:11,191 --> 00:12:12,731
BEFORE THEY KNOW I
CAN SPEAK ENGLISH.
352
00:12:12,732 --> 00:12:14,613
HOMEWORK, NOW.
353
00:12:14,614 --> 00:12:15,614
- BUT I DON'T NEED...
- NO.
354
00:12:15,615 --> 00:12:16,615
- CAN I JUST...
- NO.
355
00:12:16,616 --> 00:12:17,988
- MAYBE IF I...
- NO.
356
00:12:22,202 --> 00:12:24,414
- NOW THAT SHE'S GONE...
- NO.
357
00:12:28,418 --> 00:12:29,458
MARCO...
358
00:12:29,459 --> 00:12:33,502
LENNOX.
359
00:12:33,503 --> 00:12:36,085
WE NEED TO TALK.
360
00:12:36,086 --> 00:12:38,838
AS YOU AND I STRUGGLE TO DEFINE
361
00:12:38,839 --> 00:12:40,429
WHAT WE ARE TO EACH OTHER,
362
00:12:40,430 --> 00:12:42,431
I BELIEVE WHAT I AM TO YOU
363
00:12:42,432 --> 00:12:46,185
IS NEITHER... ANALOGOUS
NOR PARALLEL...
364
00:12:46,186 --> 00:12:48,477
YOU'RE CUTE WHEN YOU'RE THINKY.
365
00:12:48,478 --> 00:12:50,940
YOU NEED TO BE SERIOUS.
366
00:12:50,941 --> 00:12:55,395
NO. WHAT I NEED IS KETCHUP.
367
00:12:57,818 --> 00:13:01,030
OH! THIS IS ONE OF
MY GOOD SHIRTS.
368
00:13:01,031 --> 00:13:03,363
NO, DON'T!
369
00:13:07,207 --> 00:13:11,620
BEST GROCERY RUN YET.
370
00:13:11,621 --> 00:13:14,623
YEAH.
371
00:13:14,624 --> 00:13:16,836
BUT, UM...
372
00:13:16,837 --> 00:13:18,919
I'M AFRAID THAT WAS
THE LAST TIME.
373
00:13:20,220 --> 00:13:21,341
WHAT DO YOU MEAN?
374
00:13:24,014 --> 00:13:25,805
I DON'T REALLY WANT A
BOYFRIEND RIGHT NOW...
375
00:13:28,849 --> 00:13:30,809
AND I GUESS I SHOULD HAVE
TOLD YOU THAT BEFORE.
376
00:13:30,810 --> 00:13:33,602
MAYBE YOU SHOULD'VE.
377
00:13:33,603 --> 00:13:37,897
IT'S JUST... YOU'RE
SO DAMN IRRESISTIBLE.
378
00:13:37,898 --> 00:13:40,609
I REALLY DON'T KNOW
HOW TO TAKE THAT.
379
00:13:40,610 --> 00:13:43,402
A COMPLIMENT WRAPPED
AROUND A PUT-DOWN.
380
00:13:43,403 --> 00:13:45,495
IT'S LIKE AN INSULT CALZONE.
381
00:13:47,787 --> 00:13:50,749
WHOA HO! I THINK I CAN
HANDLE THREE DAYS OF THIS.
382
00:13:50,750 --> 00:13:51,911
HUH? THIS IS AWESOME!
383
00:13:51,912 --> 00:13:53,622
LOOK AT THAT. WE GOT A
LAKE VIEW OVER HERE.
384
00:13:53,623 --> 00:13:56,005
WE GOT, UH...
385
00:13:56,006 --> 00:13:57,216
A VIEW OF THE
MOUNTAINS OVER THERE.
386
00:13:57,217 --> 00:14:00,379
BUT THE BEST VIEW OF ALL,
387
00:14:00,380 --> 00:14:01,961
THAT WOULD BE RIGHT
HERE IN FRONT OF ME.
388
00:14:01,962 --> 00:14:04,633
AWW, JOE, I FULLY INTEND
TO HAVE SEX WITH YOU.
389
00:14:04,634 --> 00:14:06,555
YOU DON'T HAVE TO WORK SO HARD.
390
00:14:06,556 --> 00:14:08,847
NO, I DO IT FOR ME.
391
00:14:08,848 --> 00:14:09,848
I DO LIKE THIS ROOM.
392
00:14:09,849 --> 00:14:12,892
YEAH, WELL, NOTHING BUT
THE BEST FOR MRS. LONG...
393
00:14:12,893 --> 00:14:15,394
TERM PARTNER FOREVER.
394
00:14:15,395 --> 00:14:17,106
MM-HMM.
395
00:14:17,107 --> 00:14:19,478
LET'S TAKE THIS
NICE AND SLOW, HUH?
396
00:14:19,479 --> 00:14:21,690
SCREW THAT. IT'S
CONSUMMATING TIME.
397
00:14:21,691 --> 00:14:22,691
OH, OKAY. I'M DOWN.
398
00:14:22,692 --> 00:14:24,193
YEAH, SURE. LET'S DO IT,.
399
00:14:24,194 --> 00:14:27,196
HO! I LIKE THAT. I LIKE THAT.
YEAH!
400
00:14:27,197 --> 00:14:28,988
YOU KNOW WHAT? I JUST
THOUGHT ABOUT SOMETHING.
401
00:14:28,989 --> 00:14:30,409
THIS IS GOING TO
BE THE FIRST TIME
402
00:14:30,410 --> 00:14:33,872
THAT YOU HAVE EVER HAD
SEX WITH A MARRIED GUY.
403
00:14:33,873 --> 00:14:36,625
ABSOLUTELY.
404
00:14:36,626 --> 00:14:39,459
THIS IS THE FIRST TIME
I'VE EVER DONE THAT.
405
00:14:42,802 --> 00:14:45,134
OOH! IS THIS MARRIED MAN SEX?
406
00:14:45,135 --> 00:14:46,215
SAUCY.
407
00:14:46,216 --> 00:14:48,807
NO, YOU HAD A MOSQUITO ON YOUR BUTT.
LOOK.
408
00:14:48,808 --> 00:14:49,808
- HMM.
- ( buzzing )
409
00:14:49,809 --> 00:14:51,850
OOH! ONE ON YOU, TOO.
410
00:14:51,851 --> 00:14:53,812
WHAT THE... WHAT THE...
411
00:14:53,813 --> 00:14:54,893
THEY'RE EVERYWHERE!
412
00:14:54,894 --> 00:14:56,225
YOU LEFT THE WINDOW OPEN!
413
00:14:56,226 --> 00:14:57,816
I WAS TRYING TO GET
SOME FRESH AIR IN HERE!
414
00:14:57,817 --> 00:14:59,979
YOU GOT TO AT LEAST
CLOSE THE SCREEN!
415
00:14:59,980 --> 00:15:02,942
OH, GREAT. YOU'RE LOCKING
THEM IN HERE WITH US NOW!
416
00:15:02,943 --> 00:15:04,113
YOU'RE THE MAN.
START KILLING THEM.
417
00:15:04,114 --> 00:15:06,735
WHAT DO YOU THINK I'M DOING?
GIVING THEM HIGH-FIVES?
418
00:15:06,736 --> 00:15:08,787
YOU KNOW WHAT? MAYBE
THIS WILL STOP THEM.
419
00:15:08,788 --> 00:15:10,739
WHAT? HONEY, THAT'S SUNSCREEN.
420
00:15:10,740 --> 00:15:12,161
YEAH, MAYBE IT WILL WORK.
421
00:15:12,162 --> 00:15:14,994
OH, NICE. WELL, AT LEAST
THEY WON'T GET SKIN CANCER.
422
00:15:14,995 --> 00:15:16,205
HEY, WHAT ARE YOU...
423
00:15:16,206 --> 00:15:18,208
( both scream )
424
00:15:23,843 --> 00:15:25,424
BUT WE'RE SO GOOD TOGETHER.
425
00:15:25,425 --> 00:15:27,006
MARCO, I DIDN'T PLAN
IT THIS WAY, OKAY?
426
00:15:27,007 --> 00:15:29,008
I'M JUST TRYING TO
BE HONEST WITH YOU.
427
00:15:29,009 --> 00:15:31,010
YOU AND I HAVE NO FUTURE AS
BOYFRIEND AND GIRLFRIEND,
428
00:15:31,011 --> 00:15:32,391
AND THE SOONER WE
BOTH ACCEPT THAT...
429
00:15:32,392 --> 00:15:34,353
I JUST FEEL... USED.
430
00:15:34,354 --> 00:15:35,814
THERE YOU GUYS ARE.
431
00:15:35,815 --> 00:15:37,606
I WAS YELLING UPSTAIRS
AND NOBODY ANSWERED.
432
00:15:37,607 --> 00:15:39,979
WHAT WERE YOU GUYS DOING?
433
00:15:39,980 --> 00:15:42,481
- GROCERIES.
- SCRATCHING.
434
00:15:42,482 --> 00:15:45,614
INTERESTING.
435
00:15:45,615 --> 00:15:47,776
ANYWAY, WHAT I WAS YELLING
ABOUT WAS DINNER.
436
00:15:47,777 --> 00:15:49,408
WHAT'S HAPPENING WITH THAT?
437
00:15:49,409 --> 00:15:52,411
UM... OH, I THINK WE
HAVE LEFTOVER PIZZA.
438
00:15:52,412 --> 00:15:53,742
WE DO. WE DO.
439
00:15:53,743 --> 00:15:57,286
I WILL HEAT SOME UP AS I
AM ONLY HERE TO HELP.
440
00:15:57,287 --> 00:16:00,789
I SHOULD PROBABLY GET
SOME STUDYING DONE.
441
00:16:00,790 --> 00:16:03,632
I SHOULD PROBABLY HELP HER.
442
00:16:03,633 --> 00:16:05,004
I THINK YOU'RE JUST TRYING
TO AVOID TALKING TO ME.
443
00:16:05,005 --> 00:16:06,385
AM NOT.
444
00:16:06,386 --> 00:16:09,388
THIS IS STUDYING?
445
00:16:09,389 --> 00:16:11,640
I WON'T BE ABLE TO
CONCENTRATE ON MY SCHOOLWORK
446
00:16:11,641 --> 00:16:14,263
UNTIL I SEE WHAT HAPPENS
ON HOOKING UP TONIGHT.
447
00:16:14,264 --> 00:16:16,555
WHOA. YOU'RE TOO YOUNG
TO WATCH THAT SHOW.
448
00:16:16,556 --> 00:16:20,809
PLEASE. I'VE TOURED WITH
MY MOM AND BLACK SABBATH.
449
00:16:20,810 --> 00:16:23,903
I'VE SEEN STUFF THAT WOULD
BE BLOCKED ON YOUTUBE.
450
00:16:25,235 --> 00:16:27,406
OKAY, THEN I'LL
WATCH IT WITH YOU.
451
00:16:27,407 --> 00:16:29,988
IS THAT SUPPOSED
TO DISCOURAGE ME?
452
00:16:29,989 --> 00:16:31,531
I'VE NEVER SEEN THIS SHOW.
453
00:16:32,992 --> 00:16:36,455
I THOUGHT SHOWS LIKE THIS
WERE ONLY ON THE COMPUTER.
454
00:16:36,456 --> 00:16:37,616
WE'RE GOING TO FIND OUT
455
00:16:37,617 --> 00:16:38,827
IF CHLOE'S GOING TO
STICK WITH THIS GUY
456
00:16:38,828 --> 00:16:40,209
SHE JUMPED ON JUST FOR FUN,
457
00:16:40,210 --> 00:16:42,961
BUT DOESN'T WANT TO HAVE A
REAL RELATIONSHIP WITH.
458
00:16:42,962 --> 00:16:46,885
THAT SOUNDS MOST INTRIGUING.
459
00:16:46,886 --> 00:16:49,007
- TELL ME MORE.
- OKAY.
460
00:16:49,008 --> 00:16:50,839
SHE HAD A FLING WITH
THIS REAL CUTE GUY,
461
00:16:50,840 --> 00:16:52,891
BUT DOESN'T THINK HE CAN
CUT IT AS A BOYFRIEND.
462
00:16:52,892 --> 00:16:55,224
MAYBE SHE SHOULD JUST
GIVE THIS GUY A CHANCE.
463
00:16:55,225 --> 00:16:56,265
IS HE NICE TO HER?
464
00:16:56,266 --> 00:16:58,187
HE'S SWEET.
465
00:16:58,188 --> 00:16:59,478
AND THEY HAVE CHEMISTRY.
466
00:16:59,479 --> 00:17:01,560
SO WHAT IS THIS GIRL'S PROBLEM?
467
00:17:01,561 --> 00:17:02,851
WELL, SHE THINKS...
468
00:17:02,852 --> 00:17:04,693
THE PROBLEM IS SHE DOESN'T
WANT TO HURT HIM.
469
00:17:04,694 --> 00:17:05,814
SHE'S NOT A HORRIBLE PERSON,
470
00:17:05,815 --> 00:17:07,406
BUT SHE JUST GOT OUT
OF A RELATIONSHIP
471
00:17:07,407 --> 00:17:09,409
AND SHE'S NOT READY
FOR A NEW ONE.
472
00:17:11,201 --> 00:17:12,282
I ASSUME.
473
00:17:13,703 --> 00:17:16,496
DO YOU TWO REALLY THINK
YOU'RE FOOLING ANYBODY?
474
00:17:17,747 --> 00:17:19,498
Melissa: HARDER. HARDER!
475
00:17:19,499 --> 00:17:20,829
Joey: ARE YOU SURE?
476
00:17:20,830 --> 00:17:22,621
- I DON'T WANT TO HURT YOU.
- CAN HANDLE IT.
477
00:17:22,622 --> 00:17:24,213
Melissa: OH, THAT'S IT.
THAT'S THE SPOT.
478
00:17:24,214 --> 00:17:25,794
OH, IT'S SO GOOD.
479
00:17:25,795 --> 00:17:27,426
Joey: NOW IT'S MY TURN.
YOU HAVE TO DO ME.
480
00:17:27,427 --> 00:17:28,797
Melissa: NO, I'M
NOT FINISHED YET.
481
00:17:28,798 --> 00:17:30,629
Joey: COME ON. MY
HAND'S GETTING TIRED.
482
00:17:30,630 --> 00:17:33,132
Melissa: THEN USE THE
OTHER HAND, DAMN IT.
483
00:17:33,133 --> 00:17:35,844
OH, YEAH. OH, YEAH.
484
00:17:35,845 --> 00:17:38,347
OH! NO. NO, NO. IT'S
JUST NOT DOING IT.
485
00:17:38,348 --> 00:17:39,938
LOOK, YOU SEEMED
TO BE ENJOYING IT.
486
00:17:39,939 --> 00:17:40,770
YEAH, WELL, I GOT CLOSE.
487
00:17:40,771 --> 00:17:42,181
BUT I JUST...
488
00:17:42,182 --> 00:17:43,312
I NEED CALAMINE LOTION.
489
00:17:43,313 --> 00:17:44,773
YOU NEED CALAMINE... HEY!
490
00:17:44,774 --> 00:17:46,685
IT'S MY TURN. COME ON,
YOU HAVE TO DO MY BACK.
491
00:17:46,686 --> 00:17:47,687
DO YOURSELF.
492
00:17:51,611 --> 00:17:53,612
YOU KNOW WHAT? IT'S
NOT GOING TO WORK.
493
00:17:53,613 --> 00:17:54,614
I JUST GOT TOO MANY MUSCLES.
494
00:17:57,617 --> 00:17:58,997
WOW.
495
00:17:58,998 --> 00:18:02,622
THAT EPISODE WAS
ESPECIALLY INAPPROPRIATE.
496
00:18:05,205 --> 00:18:08,208
I AM NOW A FAN OF
THIS HOOKING UP SHOW.
497
00:18:09,669 --> 00:18:10,839
AND I GOT TO SAY,
498
00:18:10,840 --> 00:18:12,010
I'M GLAD TO SEE
CHLOE'S GOING TO TRY
499
00:18:12,011 --> 00:18:13,922
TO MAKE IT WORK WITH FLING GUY.
500
00:18:13,923 --> 00:18:16,635
I DON'T THINK IT'S A
SMART DECISION AT ALL.
501
00:18:16,636 --> 00:18:18,807
THESE CHARACTERS ARE
MAKING TERRIBLE CHOICES.
502
00:18:18,808 --> 00:18:19,769
AND IT'S A TV SHOW.
503
00:18:19,770 --> 00:18:21,810
YOU'RE NOT SUPPOSED TO
IMITATE THEIR BEHAVIOR.
504
00:18:21,811 --> 00:18:25,104
- EVERYBODY KNOWS THAT.
- ( alarm beeping )
505
00:18:28,988 --> 00:18:30,359
YOU GUYS STAY BACK.
506
00:18:30,360 --> 00:18:31,611
DANI, GO IN THE OTHER ROOM.
507
00:18:46,626 --> 00:18:48,838
( alarm beeping )
508
00:18:51,801 --> 00:18:54,424
( snorts ) IT'S THE TOASTER.
509
00:18:56,135 --> 00:18:57,256
YOU BETTER BE WATCHING
510
00:18:57,257 --> 00:18:59,808
HOW TO PLEASE YOUR WOMAN VIDEOS.
511
00:18:59,809 --> 00:19:01,390
NO, WE JUST GOT A
SECURITY ALERT.
512
00:19:01,391 --> 00:19:03,852
OOH! YOU LOOK FANTASTIC.
513
00:19:03,853 --> 00:19:06,605
I'LL LET YOU PLAY
CONNECT THE DOTS LATER.
514
00:19:06,606 --> 00:19:07,856
SO WHAT'S THIS SECURITY ALERT?
515
00:19:07,857 --> 00:19:09,147
IT WAS A SMOKE ALARM.
516
00:19:09,148 --> 00:19:11,190
YEAH, BECAUSE SOMEBODY HERE
DIDN'T CLEAN THE CRUMBS
517
00:19:11,191 --> 00:19:12,901
OUT OF THE TOASTER LIKE
THEY SAID THEY DID.
518
00:19:12,902 --> 00:19:14,773
UH, I CLEANED IT OUT.
519
00:19:14,774 --> 00:19:15,774
MM-HMM. I'M SURE YOU DID.
520
00:19:15,775 --> 00:19:17,536
YEAH. NO, I DID. IT WASN'T ME.
521
00:19:17,537 --> 00:19:18,987
IT DOESN'T MATTER.
522
00:19:18,988 --> 00:19:22,372
WELL, IT SORT OF
SEEMS LIKE IT DOES.
523
00:19:25,995 --> 00:19:29,878
IT'S A MESS IN THERE, BUT
AT LEAST THE FIRE'S OUT.
524
00:19:29,879 --> 00:19:33,792
THAT WAS... AMAZING.
525
00:19:33,793 --> 00:19:36,845
YEAH. MY NONA USED TO
FALL ASLEEP SMOKING,
526
00:19:36,846 --> 00:19:39,639
SO I GOT PRETTY HANDY
WITH THESE BABIES.
527
00:19:41,060 --> 00:19:42,802
I'M JUST SO GLAD YOU WERE HERE.
528
00:19:44,394 --> 00:19:45,765
ME, TOO.
529
00:19:48,308 --> 00:19:49,978
WE'RE ALL GOOD NOW.
530
00:19:49,979 --> 00:19:53,772
UM, SO I GUESS I'M
JUST GOING TO GO PACK.
531
00:19:53,773 --> 00:19:55,774
THERE'S A BUS LATER TO NEWARK...
532
00:19:55,775 --> 00:19:58,157
AND THAT'LL BE THAT.
533
00:20:06,416 --> 00:20:08,417
WAS THAT A KISS FOR
YOUR BOYFRIEND
534
00:20:08,418 --> 00:20:11,830
OR A KISS JUST 'CAUSE I'M
SO DAMNED IRRESISTIBLE?
535
00:20:11,831 --> 00:20:13,832
BOYFRIEND.
536
00:20:13,833 --> 00:20:16,425
YOU SURE ABOUT THAT?
537
00:20:16,426 --> 00:20:17,636
YEAH.
538
00:20:17,637 --> 00:20:19,889
YOU'RE NOT THAT HARD TO RESIST.
539
00:20:26,806 --> 00:20:29,227
I TOLD YOU IT WASN'T ME.
540
00:20:29,228 --> 00:20:32,401
IN MY OWN HOUSE.
541
00:20:32,402 --> 00:20:35,193
YOU KNOW, IT'S A GOOD THING
POOR TORBETT'S NOT SEEING...
542
00:20:35,194 --> 00:20:37,986
OH!
543
00:20:37,987 --> 00:20:39,778
I GOT TO SAY, AMAZING
SECURITY SYSTEM.
544
00:20:39,779 --> 00:20:41,320
LOOK, YOU CAN ZOOM IN.
545
00:20:41,321 --> 00:20:42,322
NO THANKS.
546
00:20:45,415 --> 00:20:47,826
WELL, WE CONSUMMATED,
AND IN RECORD TIME,
547
00:20:47,827 --> 00:20:50,419
BUT THAT DOES NOT COUNT AS
OFFICIAL HONEYMOON SEX.
548
00:20:50,420 --> 00:20:53,251
YOU KNOW, ACTUALLY,
IT WASN'T SO BAD.
549
00:20:53,252 --> 00:20:55,253
WELL, MAYBE NEXT
TIME WE CAN DO IT
550
00:20:55,254 --> 00:20:56,545
WITH ALL OF OUR CLOTHES OFF.
551
00:20:56,546 --> 00:20:58,216
YEAH, I KNOW.
552
00:20:58,217 --> 00:20:59,548
I JUST CANNOT BELIEVE
553
00:20:59,549 --> 00:21:00,639
THIS MARCO, MAN.
554
00:21:00,640 --> 00:21:01,970
"HEY, UNCLE JOE.
555
00:21:01,971 --> 00:21:03,261
"HERE TO HELP OUT THE FAMILY."
556
00:21:03,262 --> 00:21:04,262
YEAH, MORE LIKE
557
00:21:04,263 --> 00:21:05,594
HELPING HIMSELF OUT.
558
00:21:05,595 --> 00:21:06,685
LOOK, I OBVIOUSLY HAVE TO GO
559
00:21:06,686 --> 00:21:07,936
AND DEAL WITH THIS
WHOLE SITUATION,
560
00:21:07,937 --> 00:21:08,977
BUT WHY DON'T YOU STAY
HERE FOR A COUPLE DAYS
561
00:21:08,978 --> 00:21:09,809
AND JUST ENJOY YOURSELF?
562
00:21:09,810 --> 00:21:11,810
YEAH, JUST HANG OUT HERE
WITH THE MOSQUITOES
563
00:21:11,811 --> 00:21:13,692
AND WATCH THE HOW TO
CHECK OUT CHANNEL.
564
00:21:13,693 --> 00:21:14,693
I'M GOING WITH YOU.
565
00:21:14,694 --> 00:21:16,896
OKAY, I'M GOING TO
GO GET THE CAR.
566
00:21:17,777 --> 00:21:18,987
BECAUSE, YOU KNOW, WE'RE IN THIS
567
00:21:18,988 --> 00:21:20,109
FOR BETTER OR FOR WORSE.
568
00:21:22,992 --> 00:21:25,204
I'M JUST WAITING FOR
THE BETTER PART.
40314
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