All language subtitles for Lost In Austen-E01

It is a truth generaIIy acknowIedged
that we are aII Ionging to escape.

I escape aIways to my favourite book,
Pride And Prejudice.

I've read it so many times now

the wordsjust say themseIves in my head

and it's Iike a window opening.

It's Iike I'm actuaIIy there.

It's become a pIace I know
so...intimateIy.

I can see that worId, I can...touch it.

I can see Darcy.

Whoa, Amanda!

Now, where was I?

I have no right
to compIain about my Iife.

I want this account...de-jointed, yeah?
I want her name gone.

I mean, it's the same for everybody.

- And I...I do what we aII do.
- Did you get a suck?

Do you want a sIap?

I take it on the chin,

and patch myseIf up with Jane Austen.

Ow!

I know I sound Iike this...
terribIe Ioser.

I mean, I do actuaIIy have a boyfriend.

It'sjust...sometimes I'd rather stay in
with EIizabeth Bennet.

- Piranha! I thought you weren't here.
- I'm not. MichaeI coming round?

No.

- why isn't he coming round?
- Boys' night.

- He'II be round after that.
- No, he won't. I've toId him not to.

I have pIans that invoIve nobody except
me. IE, not you either. So go away.

- How do I Iook?
- You put your Iipstick on by eating it.

This is as good as it gets.

''You are mistaken, Mr Darcy,

''if you suppose that the mode of your
decIaration affected me in any other way

''than as it spared me the concern

''which I might have feIt
in refusing you...

''..had you behaved
in a more gentIeman-Iike manner.''

(DoorbeII buzzes)

(Man on TV) I've Iost count
of the number of passes up to now.

(Second man) Yeah, they're reaIIy
taking charge of the midfieId.

I just want to read my book.

(FootbaII commentary continues)

what are you doing?

- Is this you proposing to me?
- (Burps)

Yeah.

You're drunk.

Marry me, babes.

Make an honest woman of me.

You have no idea, do you,
quite how unromantic that is?

- (woman taIking on TV)
- (Snoring)

(CIattering)

- (CIicking and rattIing)
- Piranha?

(woman whispering)

- (CIunk)
- (woman) Ow!

(woman mutters)

This is most extraordinary.

But I beg you, Miss Spencer,
to entertain my expIanation of it,

for it wiII be truthfuI,
if a IittIe intractabIe to beIieve.

There is a door, Miss Spencer, in
the attic portion of my father's house,

which is a pIace unvisited
except by servants and myseIf.

were this door to open, it wouId give
upon the empty air four storeys high,

for there is no room beyond.

It is a door entireIy without sense.

One may not pass through it,
try as one might, untiI this day,

for you, Miss Spencer,
have opened this door for me.

You are the key.

what makes you think
my name is Spencer?

It is taiIored in your underthings.

My name is Price, Amanda Price.

How do you do, Miss Price?
I am EIizabeth...

- Bennet.
- Bennet. Yes, I know.

- (MichaeI) Mands?
- Just a minute!

(MichaeI) Sweet?

OK, EIizabeth Bennet in my bathroom.

- (Phone ringing)
- CIearIy I'm haIIucinating.

Why? Too much Austen?

My mother wouId say
not enough boyfriend.

He doesn't take drugs,
he doesn't knock you about.

This pIace is a mess.

It's caIIed redecorating.
It's what women my age do

when they get divorced.

It's Iike sex, onIy you can stop
for a cup of tea and a biscuit.

- Give me a cigarette.
- Mm-mm, no.

You're teIIing me who I have to marry.

I'm reminding you, Amanda,
that you are what you are.

If you waste your Iife pretending
to be something eIse, you'II regret it.

- I don't trust him, Mum.
- He had it off with a waitress...

- Two nights running.
- ..but he's a man.

He has appetites.

I have this conversation with Piranha on
a reguIar basis, and she never gets it.

I'm not hung up about Darcy.

I do not sit at home with the pause
button and CoIin Firth in cIingy pants.

I Iove...

the Iove story.

I Iove EIizabeth.

I Iove...the manners

and the Ianguage...

and the courtesy.

It's become part of who I am
and what I want.

I'm saying, Mum, that I have standards.

weII, you have standards, pet.

I hope they heIp you on with your coat
when you're 70.

''I, who have vaIued myseIf
on my abiIities...

''who have often disdained
the generous candour of my sister... ''

''..and we are engaged. ''

''It is settIed between us aIready,

''that we are to be
the happiest coupIe in the worId. ''

(CIicking)

- (CIicks)
- (Gasps and chuckIes)

(Gasps) Is this not astonishing?

were such a thing at my disposaI,

I shouId do IittIe eIse but toy with it
aII day.

Miss Bennet. I think I may be
having a nervous breakdown.

You see,

I am a reaI person

and you are a pretend person.

- You are the creation of Jane Austen.
- I am not acquainted with this person.

You are a character in a book.

This one, written by her 200 years ago.

It grieves me, Miss Price, that
I must presume to dispute with you.

I have my fIeshy enveIope,

as you yours.

TeII me something
I couIdn't possibIy know. PIease.

A piece of information that simpIy
doesn't exist in my brain. Just do it.

- NetherfieId Park is Iet.
- No, no, I know that.

The news was fetched onIy this morning.
I have toId no one but Lady Ambrosia.

I know about Mr Darcy, everything.

But you don't. You haven't met him yet.

OK, something eIse. PIease.

The part of Russian America
that most intrudes into the Arctic Sea

is caIIed Point Barrow.

I have never heard of Russian America.

It occupies the northernmost territory
in the west of the Americas.

- But that's AIaska.
- I've never heard of AIaska.

Show me the door, Miss Bennet.

That's not a door. I mean, it couId have
been a door but it's part of the waII.

It's got aII the pipey stuff
behind there, the pIumbing.

Yet it is the way I entered.

(Door creaks)

I don't understand.

Nor I, Miss Price.

But this is assuredIy my house.

- (Birds cooing)
- (FIutter of wings)

- Huh!
- (Footsteps)

(Door opens)

(Door rattIes)

Sorry, Miss, but are you dining tonight?

Mr Bennet Iikes to know
what number to expect at tabIe.

PIease advise Mr Bennet
that I wiII be down...directIy.

I was just, um...Iooking for him.

Yes, ma'am.

whom shaII I say has given
the master this message, ma'am?

A friend of Miss EIizabeth.

(Gasping)

OK, this is seriousIy weird
and I want to go home.

EIizabeth. EIizabeth!

(Gasping)

- (Piano pIays and cutIery cIatters)
- (Mrs Bennet) Oh, Lydia.

(Lydia) I have said if I am to be
received at NetherfieId,

I shaII dress in siIk, so I shaII!

(Mrs Bennet) Lydia, as your father has
civiIIy decIined to caII on Mr BingIey,

the notion of such an excursion
is entireIy reprehensibIe.

- (Piano continues)
- (Door sIams)

(Conversation continues, indistinct)

(Sighs)

Aaaah!

SpIit my windpipe! I mean, good heavens.

Forgive me.

But the noise in this...paIace of Iunacy
is more than a reading man can bear.

(Sighs)

- So you are...
- (Mrs Bennet squeaks)

..EIizabeth's friend.

Yes. Amanda Price.

- (Piano pIaying starts)
- Sir.

How marveIIous to have
the society of Iadies

who are not promiscuous with speech.

AIIow me to introduce myseIf across
the wasteIand of the servants' stairs.

I am EIizabeth's father, CIaude Bennet.

CIaude? You're kidding.

It exposed me to some comments,
but it was the name my parents chose.

- (Piano pIaying continues)
- (Chatter)

(Door cIoses)

(Gasps)

So you are not a IocaI person,
Miss Price?

I rent in Hammersmith.
It's an area of London.

I have driven through a pIeasant pIace
that bears the name,

- but it was some miIes from London.
- It wouId have been.

And you are acquainted with Lizzy how?

Known EIizabeth for years.

UntiI yesterday I had not heard of you.

It is possibIe she made many speeches
on the subject and I had mereIy forgot.

OId age, Miss Price.
I find I cannot recommend it.

(Mrs Bennet waiIs)

- My wife.
- (Door sIams)

Lizzy has toId you
about our thriIIing new neighbour?

- Mr BingIey?
- PIeasant enough. Not strong on brains.

I caIIed on BingIey this forenoon.
I haven't toId my wife that.

But she enjoys the suspense.

we reaIIy are right at the beginning,
aren't we?

You do make the most refreshingIy
eIIipticaI conversation, Miss Price.

So Lizzy has gone
to Hammersmith to see you,

but you have come to Longbourn
to see her.

You wiII forgive me for observing that
the arrangement seems to have a fIaw.

(Sighs)

- Oh, dear, are you quite weII?
- I do feeI a bit...unusuaI.

- Might I go back upstairs?
- Of course.

we can dissect this matter further
on the morrow.

Take Lizzy's bed.
She cIaims it is toIerabIe soft.

- SIeep weII in it.
- Thank you.

Hm.

(Mrs Bennet) weII, I caII it perverse.

- Mr Bingham's here...
- (Lydia) BingIey, Mama.

..and your father, what kind of...

(Mrs Bennet) I said BingIey.
(Lydia) You said Bingham.

(Mrs Bennet) If you contradict me,
you wiII go to your room.

(Lydia) I'm as IikeIy to meet a husband
there as anywhere in this house.

(Mrs Bennet) Oh, Lydia,
sit down at once! Mr Bennet!

(Mr Bennet) Oh, am I here?

EIizabeth.

- Miss Price.
- Oh!

- I did not mean to startIe you.
- No, no, no, it's, um...

Papa sent us to see that you knew
Lizzy's room, but cIearIy you're...

Yes! Thank you.

You're...Kitty, aren't you?

And you're...Mary. I've read so much
about you, I feeI I know you.

- Read?
- Heard.

TaIking to EIizabeth, who is my...

(whispers) ..friend.

Is there anything we can get you,
Miss Price? A dish of faggots?

AII right for faggots, thank you.

I think I'II just, um...

..go to sIeep.

Right.

- (Door creaks)
- (Kitty and Mary giggIe)

(Door cIoses)

- (Departing footsteps)
- (GiggIing)

(Beeping)

(FaiIed caII tone)

(Birdsong)

(Mrs Bennet) Oh! Mr Bennet!

- (Sighs)
- (Mrs Bennet waiIs)

Lend me your handkin, Lizzy.

(Gasps) Oh!

- You're Miss Price of Hammersmith.
- Yes.

I thought you feIt funny. I often get
into bed with Lizzy in the night.

She strokes my back
when it's time to wake.

Oh, I'm Lydia, by the way.

I know.

what preparation do you use
for your hair? It's most pungent.

OK, Iook, I've had enough of this.

what's the deaI here?
Are we Iive on cabIe or something?

Is this Iike the Jim Carrey thing,
but period? where are the cameras?

weII, come on!
what are you after, guys?

A bit of girI-on-girI action
under the covers?

what do I have to do
to get out of here? Snog her?

Show you my pubes?

what have you done to yourseIf?

That's caIIed a Ianding strip, Lydia.

Standard...pubic topiary.

(CIucking)

The fit of her britches is
extraordinary.

The britches are as nothing,
but an hour...

- Good morning.
- Good morning, Miss Price.

- Did you sIeep?
- I did. Thank you.

PIease, sit here next to me.

I'm Jane. My sisters
I think you've aIready met.

There is chocoIate
and green tea and marmaIade,

for which HiII makes exceptionaI toast.

(Miss Bennet waiIs)

I'm sorry we cannot offer you
anything more amusing.

It aII sounds...heavenIy.

Your tunic, Miss Price,
it is what is worn in town this season?

- I think it very fine.
- Kitty, you are importunate.

I am starved of fashion, is aII.

This is...otter-hunting kit.

(Laughter)

Goodness! Are otters
routineIy hunted in Hammersmith?

Oh, yes.

The beIt therefore is
for the attachment of knives?

AbsoIuteIy. My proper cIothes
are...you know, coming.

I shouIdn't bother. In this house,
we may as weII take the veiI.

AII Papa has to do, Jane, is caII
on Mr BingIey. It's not arduous.

Yet to punish us being
fIibbertigibbets, he wiII not.

- I think you'II find that...
- (Mrs Bennet waiIs)

- Um...
- (Mrs Bennet) Oh, Mr Bennet!

My mother, Miss Price,
is a IittIe indisposed this morning.

I'm sorry to hear that.

- She suffers from her nerves.
- Yes.

- Have you met my mother?
- I've, um...

yet to have that pIeasure.

- (Horse neighs outside)
- Oh!

- who's that?
- He sits his horse weII.

I'II teII you exactIy who that is.

Oh, Mr BingIey.

It is unutterabIy kind of you to caII.

Common courtesy, madam,
neighbours...so forth.

Ah, BingIey.
weIcome, sir, to the asyIum.

what, finished aIready?
You have devoured Rousseau apace.

I found him eminentIy digestibIe.

- You gentIemen are acquainted?
- we've known each other hours.

we Iend each other books.
It is practicaIIy a marriage.

That's Mrs Bennet!

- You did not say, Mr Bennet.
- I Iacked the opportunity.

Mr BingIey,
and, yes, he's Iooking at Jane.

(Mr Bennet) If you've words to say
in this house, speak 'em up sharp.

Now Iet us sort the sheep
from the goats.

My daughters Jane, Mary, Kitty, Lydia.

EIizabeth, the very goatiest,
is not here.

In her stead we have Miss Amanda Price.

Oh. Charmed.

Charmed.

- Miss Price is of Hammersmith.
- ReaIIy?

- ExceIIent fox-hunting country, I hear.
- weII furnished with otters.

- Shush.
- UndoubtedIy.

EIizabeth is presentIy
to be found disporting

in the otter-strewn thoroughfares
of Hammersmith.

Miss Price wiII expIain.

(CIock ticking)

Lizzy's gone to my pIace.

She's, um...

as it were...

trying to write a book.

Mm, a noveI.

She's tried to write it here,

but she finds the Iife
of the house distracting.

My pIace, it seemed IogicaI that she
shouId dig in there for a day or two.

Get something down on paper.

She intimated to me
she wouId be gone for weeks.

Did she? weII...

anyway, we've...

done a sort of swap.

She's there and I'm, um...here.

But why, Mr Bennet,
at such a time Iike this with...

Lizzy begs your forgiveness for not
expIaining these pIans more thoroughIy.

I...I think she wanted it to be a...

you know, surprise.

I caII it a marveIIous idea, writin'.
AII in favour of that.

Mr BingIey.

Are you at aII disposed
to join the dancing

tomorrow night at the assembIy rooms?

(BingIey) RoyaIIy disposed, Mrs Bennet.

I've summoned hordes of friends
from London. Quite a party.

- (Amanda) He means Darcy.
- Did you hear this?

One that couId onIy be enhanced
shouId you consent to join it.

(Chatter and Iaughter)

AII of you.

Too kind, sir,
but I must beg to be excused.

Large gatherings of society
bring me out in hives...

- Oh.
- ..as do smaII gatherings.

Stop Iooking at me, BingIey.
Look at Jane.

It is a pity that Miss Price's
portmanteau has faiIed to appear.

we must endeavour
to furnish her with cIothes

that are a IittIe Iess
provoking of attention.

It's aII so exciting.

(ChuckIes) Lizzy made this for herseIf.

It's IoveIy.

what are you thinking, Miss Bennet?

I'm thinking how pretty you shaII be
for Mr BingIey tomorrow.

Never mind the BingIey,
bring on the Darcy.

He's the one we want to see.

You know this gentIeman
to be part of Mr BingIey's party?

I'm guessing out Ioud. TerribIe habit.

(ChuckIes)

I must say, Mr BingIey
seemed a very nice man.

- He'd be a good person to marry.
- Mm.

I'd quite Iike to cIean my teeth.
Is that possibIe?

Of course.

The instruments
are aII ready before you.

See, I've brought birch twigs, powdered
saIt and a fresh bIock of chaIk.

Right. Thank you. Mm.

SpIendid.

Are we going to church?

Does it have architecturaI merit?

ProbabIy not. But I doubt
that's the point of attendance.

what is to be done with my brother,
Mr Darcy? He has doubts.

A gentIeman knows God beIieves in him.

It is his duty to return the compIiment.

weII, I, however, desire the compIiment
of your sitting down with me.

You wouId rather stand in church

and have aII of the IocaI womanhood
faII in Iove with you.

How we Iook forward to meeting
these fascinating Bennets and Prices

at tomorrow's baII.

- CaroIine.
- You must pIay cards with your sister.

- (BeII chiming)
- Oh...

Poor CharIes.

Do you have a PsaIter, Miss Price?

Er...is that Iike a picnic thing
for seasoning sandwiches?

More for the recitation of PsaIms.

Not on me.

How kind. Huh!

Mm.

Look, you have to teII me.

Has there been anyone eIse Iike me
turning up here?

Like you, Miss Price?

Bit odd, taIks funny,
doesn't know how things operate.

Not reaIIy.

I thought for a minute
you were wearing contact Ienses.

How do you get those...ringIets?

By the appIication of hot irons.

I'd be deIighted to arrange yours
if you'd Iet me.

No. I may be Iosing grip on reaIity,
but I'm stiII in controI of my hair.

- Ow!
- Sorry. Just checking.

what's a sandwich?

- Mr CoIIins is a parson.
- Our father's cousin. He owns us.

Longbourn is entaiIed to him.

were Papa to die, Mr CoIIins
couId put us out Iike that.

Therefore must we marry
to be forearmed against the worst.

I shouId have thought Lizzy
might have toId you about Mr CoIIins.

She taIks of IittIe eIse
to that fat oId sow Ambrosia.

- Oh...
- we've never met him, of course.

He might be tremendousIy handsome.

I wouIdn't get your hopes up.

Do you expect to receive
an offer of marriage, Miss Price?

- Matter of fact, I just had one.
- No!

- what repIy did you make?
- I turned him down.

weII, I didn't beIieve he Ioved me.

(Low chatter)

- Kitty, pass me your kneeIer.
- why?

You must forgive my accosting you thus
but we have not been presented.

- You're CharIotte Lucas.
- You see you've utterIy beguiIed me.

Kitty here teIIs me, ''That Iady
is Lizzy's friend Miss Price,''

and I'm at once consumed with jeaIousy

for Lizzy has never toId me of you
yet you know my name before it is said.

wherefore did Lizzy negIect to teII me
about this book?

I never knew her start it.

weII, she didn't confide in me either.
OriginaIIy.

I myseIf got it from somebody eIse.

worse and worse.

wicked Lizzy offends us both.

who toId you of the book?

Er...Lady Ambrosia.

How...characteristicaIIy eccentric
of our friend to have confided in her,

but odder stiII for Ambrosia
to have discussed it with you.

Lady Ambrosia is, after aII,
a corpuIent femaIe pig.

(Snorts) what sort of trick
is this, Miss Lucas?

what sort of trick are you, Miss Price?

(Organ pIays hymn)

It vexes me exceptionaIIy

that EIizabeth shouId choose
to be abroad at such a time as this.

And Hammersmith, Mr Bennet.

Is...is Hammersmith
a IikeIy sort of pIace?

I was not aware it was abroad,

but I saIute your superior
command of geography.

Ah.

we are arrived, Miss Price,
at a particuIarIy fine prospect.

(Gasps) NetherfieId Park.

According to disposition one can marveI
at the deIicate masonry of the windows

or thriII to the weaIth of the tenant.

I Iearned in church from Mrs Lucas
that chiefest among Mr BingIey's guests

is Mr FitzwiIIiam Darcy, of PemberIey.

I have attended the discIosure

with the reverence befitting
aII your utterances, my dear.

Now kindIy expIain it to me.

(Mrs Bennet) Darcy!

- PemberIey! why, 1 0,000 a year!
- 1 0,000!

My joy, accordingIy, is unconfined.

Jane, it appears you must now marry
Mr Darcy instead of Mr BingIey.

It is not presentIy my pIan,
sir, to marry either gentIeman.

No, but it is your mother's
so choose your hymns.

what say you, Miss Price?
ShaII Jane be wedded to this Mr Darcy?

Oh, Kitty, you are overstimuIated!

But Miss Price is quite DeIphic, Mother.
She prefigures aII.

I have no idea. Perhaps it is
EIizabeth who shaII be married.

EIizabeth's not here.

- (Birdsong)
- (Crow caws)

EIizabeth. EIizabeth!

I am not...you.

You shouId be here.

Oh!

There's going to be a baII.

At the baII you meet Darcy.

You have to meet Darcy.
Do you understand?

You have to meet him, EIizabeth.
It's what happens.

- (wiId screeches)
- (OwI hooting)

Oh, I'm so Iooking forward
to the prospect of Mr FitzwiIIiam Darcy.

- I hate a man with too much money.
- Mary!

That's very modern, and I daresay
very cIever, but you wiII obIige me.

Last-minute Iippy, for Iuck.

It's aII the rage in Hammersmith.

This evening, Miss Bennet,
make sure you dance with Mr BingIey.

It's important.

Miss Price, you...you reaIIy
are aIarming. ExpIain your meaning.

I can't. I don't know
what wiII happen if I do.

I'm just saying tonight
is supposed to be fun.

So have a IoveIy time,

with BingIey.

Let's get to work.

- (~ FoIk dance music)
- GirIs!

Oh, it's a post.

Ladies! How very spIendid you aII Iook.

I'm so pIeased you've come.

(Dancers cIapping in time)

wiII you excuse me, Mr BingIey?

I think we aII feeI
it wouId have been preferabIe

had Miss Price remained
in Hammersmith

rather than perpIexing us here
with her radicaI manners.

I disagree cordiaIIy, Mrs Bennet.

I find your guest...refreshing.

- (Cheering)
- (Music ends)

- Thank you. what is this, wine?
- Punch, madam.

Oh, no, don't go away.

Bit thirsty. Hm!

Miss Price, aIIow me
to introduce Miss BingIey.

(Coughing)

(CIears throat) How do you do?

I am not choking, which must
be counted in one's favour.

You're CharIes's sister.

One cannot deny the accusation,

however unused to being defined
in terms of one's brother.

No accusation, CaroIine.
Your brother's a gentIeman.

- Miss, um...
- Lucas.

Lucas teIIs me you're come up
from town, Miss Price.

- Hammersmith.
- Oh.

Miss Price, you are quite fIushed.

Another refreshing gIass, perhaps?

- Ooh.
- we're both in a dream, Miss Price.

More than you know, Mr BingIey.

Now we have coIIided so fortuitousIy,

may I beg the honour
of the next excursion?

You want to dance? Oh, er...
I'm afraid that's, um...not possibIe.

- You cannot dance a quadriIIe?
- I cannot dance a quadriIIe.

Then it shaII be my happy duty
to educate you.

AIas, that unrewarding task
has been cIaimed by another.

- Another?
- Mm-hm.

I fear there may have to be a dueI.
who is to be your dancing master?

- Name the dog.
- (Amanda) Don't say it.

Mr Darcy.

- Darcy?
- (Amanda) You said it.

Are you certain you have that aright,
Miss Price?

Darcy!

Darcy!

A most grievous sIur
has been cast upon your character.

Miss Price says she won't dance with
me because you've aIready asked her.

- Yes.
- Yes? what fresh Iunacy is this, sir?

You've never Iifted a hoof
to dance in your Iife.

UntiI this evening,
I'd not had the honour

of being acquainted with Miss Price.

This is an event of some significance,
Miss Price. Quite unprecedented.

He regards forms of sudden Iocomotion
as embIematic of iII breeding.

Hunting, tennis,
rising precipitateIy from a chair.

when Miss Price and I dance,
there shaII be nothing sudden.

I can't dance...this sort of dance.

Nor I. Together
we shaII make a shambIes.

But we shaII do it with such authority
they wiII stare at us to Iearn the step.

Madam?

- Oh, um...
- Oh.

(Music starts)

(GiggIes)

I don't know what to say.

FortunateIy,
we are obIiged onIy to dance.

Look at Miss Price dancing.

(Bennet girIs giggIe)

why did you say yes?

To spare my friend
the humiIiation you contrived for him.

I didn't seek to humiIiate Mr BingIey.

Then your refusaI to dance with him
was most iII-adapted to its purpose.

(Music ends)

(Amanda) I'm drunk. I need a fag.

I've got one fag.

Everything I do is wrong. Everything.

PIease, God, I want to go home.

You even breathe fire.

(Snorts)

Oh, gosh!

(Gasps)

- Miss Price, I...
- Mr BingIey...

How can I begin?

You and I, we come from...
very different worIds,

more different than
you couId possibIy imagine.

Miss Price...

In my worId, Mr BingIey,

aII I ever do is dream
about the IoveIiness of your worId...

(ChuckIes)

..the stateIy, eIegant rituaIs

and pace of courtship,

of Iovemaking, as you caII it,
under the gaze of chaperones,

of happiness against aII odds,

and...and marriage.

Here I am,

I taIk to you for two minutes,

I kiss you and you...you...

So I'm a IittIe...

disappointed in myseIf, Mr BingIey.

I feeI Iike those guys
who discovered that Stone Age tribe,

then gave them the common coId,

wiped them out.

Miss Price, I...

(Sneezes) Oh!

No doubt, Miss BingIey,

you and your brother find
these young provinciaI gentIemen

Iacking in metropoIitan refinement?

Oh, the young gentIemen we find the acme
of particuIarity and taste.

It is the Iadies of the country
whose crassness is unparaIIeIed.

As the mother of many daughters

you must find it wearying
to have to Iead by exampIe.

I do, Miss BingIey. I do!

Miss Price, a word.

According to the Iaws
of Christian hospitaIity, Miss Price,

I may not turn you out of my house.

Instead, I shaII favour you
with a warning.

I do not know how a person Iike you
comes to be so friend-Iike with Lizzy.

I fear your infIuence on her.

But as to my other daughters
who remain in my care, hear this.

- Do not obstruct them.
- I promise you...

It is not necessary for you to speak.
Just Iisten.

Do not obstruct any one of them
in her quest for a propitious marriage.

If you do and my estate
is Iost because of it,

something may come over you,
Miss Price, Iike a thief in the night,

which may not be quite so agreeabIe.

weII, you're a reaI baII-breaker.
Sorry, you don't know what that...

I understand the sense of your speech
weII enough, Miss Price.

Do you understand mine?

(Low chatter)

I wouId dance but it's impossibIe.

- The carriage fiIIs with freezing air.
- Shh!

- Oh!
- (Laughter)

(Amanda) EIizabeth!

It's aII going...

compIeteIy...tits-up.

BingIey couIdn't even
see Jane under his...

Oh! EIizabeth!

Open this door!

(Sighs)

(RustIing)

(Amanda) ''My dear father,

''I pray you, sir,
not to troubIe your mind

''about your most headstrong daughter.

''I quite fIourish in Hammersmith.

''I am minded to sojourn here
aIone a whiIe.''

Er...''aIone'' is underIined.

''If I might be so presumptuous
as to offer advice to my own father,

''then I wouId admonish him to pay
particuIar attention...to Miss Price.

''She is intimateIy acquainted
with the doings of our famiIy,

''and I cordiaIIy beIieve her to be
its most devoted and formidabIe aIIy.

''Trust her.
Your affectionate daughter, EIizabeth.''

when Lizzy was ten years oId,
I taught her to fIy a kite.

She soon mastered it.

She stood between my arms...

in front of me,

and took the strain.

I beIieve she has taken it ever since.

But as for my trust,

you have it.

A rare thing, Miss Price,
but Kitty is quite right.

- You are oracuIar.
- Hm-hm!

You prophesied Mr Darcy
wouId attend the baII and he duIy came.

Did he prove equaI
to your expectations?

Yes. And no.

I mean, he's not CoIin Firth.

But even CoIin Firth isn't CoIin Firth.

They had to change the shape
of his head with make-up.

But, no, Mr Darcy
was pretty spectacuIarIy unfriendIy

but that's what one wouId expect.

PhysicaIIy, he fiIIs
his britches pretty weII,

but he doesn't, you know, fIoat my boat.

AII that...aristocratic Ianguor.

I know he can't heIp it, but it's reaIIy
not very attractive. To me.

He does not...fIoat your boat?

An expression current in Hammersmith,
never to be used in front of Lydia.

(ChuckIes)

without Lizzy, the equiIibrium
of this house is...fragiIe.

It is fruitIess to pretend otherwise.

However, your presence among us
affords a certain...

reassurance.

At Ieast to my father.

And to me.

It's very good to have you here.

Thank you.

I'm...gIad I can be of service to you,
whiIe I'm here.

It is not service, Miss Price,

it is friendship.

Yes.

Yes, it is.

(Birdsong)

OK, I have no idea
how to fix this book,

and I cannot sew this bIoody pew thing
without stabbing myseIf in the hand.

Ow.

Ah, Miss Lucas,
how convenient you are.

How gIad I am of that, Mrs Bennet.

This is aII most industrious.

Miss Price, aIas, is a stranger
to handiwork for the church.

I'm sure she wouId bIess you,
were you to take charge of her kneeIer.

I may need to unpick aII this
and start again, Miss Price.

- EIizabeth sends news?
- She writes to her father, not to me.

She cIearIy intends to stay
in Hammersmith indefiniteIy.

And how Iong do you pIan
to stay here, Miss Price?

I intend to trespass on the hospitaIity
of this househoId for, er...

for not much more...

time.

I hope you stay forever.

Church has had enough from me for today.

Let us have tea.

Mr Bennet... (Sighs)

Do you show me your finger
because it is injured?

I wish to know, Mr Bennet, how Iong
Miss Price is to remain our guest.

She does not materiaIIy contribute
to the running of this househoId.

She is unkempt and indeIicate...
and not at aII couth!

She is upsetting the servants
with aII manner of improper remarks!

Ahh...

Oh!

(Amanda) EIizabeth.

In the book, your mother sends Jane
to NetherfieId on a horse in the rain.

She gets a coId
and has to stay the night

and that's how BingIey
faIIs in Iove with her.

But it's not happening.

Nothing's happening the way it shouId.

Right. I wiII do my best.

OK?

For Jane.

Mr BingIey instructed you
to invite me to visit him?

Some men find it hard to speak their
Iove, except through an intermediary.

It's not uncommon.

You must go.

If I set off for NetherfieId, Miss
Price, it wiII sureIy pour with rain.

Look at the sky.

The rain wiII be torrentiaI,
and you wiII get very wet.

This is aII how it shouId be.

Trust me.

(Mary) where has my sister gone?
(Amanda) NetherfieId.

But there is to be heavy rain.
She'II be soaked and catch the grippe.

Mm-hm.

But this is terribIe. The infection goes
straight to her chest.

The Iast time she contracted it...

Oh, fooIish girI! She does not know.

- Doesn't know what?
- How cIose she was to death! Mama!

(Mary) Mama!

- (Thunder)
- Miss Bennet!

Miss Bennet!

Jane!

Jane has gone to NetherfieId Park
in this weather

and Miss Price pursues her!

Are you so obtuse, Mr Bennet, that
you do not see what is the matter here?

She has gone to queer Jane's pitch!

It is exciting when you bring the
Ianguage of the theatre into this house

but might this room be returned
to the purpose for which it was created?

For me to sIeep in undisturbed.

The weather today is uncongeniaI.

Is it?

- One tends not to notice.
- (ThundercIap)