Original subtitles

ANNOUNCER: In the previous episode of Iron Man...

Although much of the blast was contained underground,

the explosion spread a radioactive cloud for miles.

Much of the blame, and anger,

is focused on a major player in this tragedy, Iron Man.

The very technology that you designed to keep yourself alive...

Is being used to commit atrocities.

Endless opportunities for terrorist misery,

because of what I built.

These Negator Packs seem to do a pretty good job

of disabling my stolen technology.

Generate a list of every known armored warrior.

Everybody gets a personally delivered gift box, courtesy of Iron Man.

It's just you and me, Iron Man. Like I've always wanted.

(SCREAMS)

FURY: It's about Iron Man.

You shut down Iron Man,

or S.H.I.E.L.D. Will shut down Stark Enterprises. Period.

Effective immediately,

I'm terminating Iron Man's employment by Stark Enterprises.

(ALL GASPING)

To put it simply, he's fired.

JULIA: You can lie in public all you want, but don't lie to me.

Why do you always push away the people

who care the most about you?

I don't know.

JULIA: Why won't you talk to me?

Tony? Tony?

I...

I am...

I am Iron Man!

I am Iron Man!

I am Iron Man!

(SIGHS)

Julia, Julia, Julia.

JIM: Let me guess, Chuckles.

Your little heart to heart with Tony

wasn't the rousing success you'd hoped for, huh?

My emotions got the best of me.

Yeah, that's what Tony does best.

Lets people get close, but never really lets them in.

What'll we do, Jim?

He's cut himself off. He won't listen to anybody.

Except those of the holographic persuasion.

Yo, homey! How about cutting us a couple of megabytes of information?

My programming prevents me from divulging any privileged data.

Oh, wise up, binary-brain. Tony's going down for the third time

and dragging everyone else down with him.

You know what happens then?

They put you to work checking tax returns for the IRS.

Actually, I have found Mr. Stark's recent behavior rather unsettling.

Yeah, as in crazy.

Perhaps I can facilitate a frank discussion of the issues.

Would it be useful if I were to locate him for you?

He's at the beach house, isn't he?

HOMER: No. He is currently flying south.

- What the heck? - Where do you think he...

HOMER: Probable target identified.

Special Naval Command Operative, code-named...

(JULIA READING SCREEN)

- Oh, Jim. - Oh, I know.

He's gunning for the good guys again.

Rhodey, you've got to stop him.

Hey, look, I've tried, but there's no talking to...

I don't mean talk. I mean stop him as War Machine.

I can't fight Tony! I mean, he's Tony!

He's not the Tony we knew. Rhodey, he's crossed the line.

He's a menace to himself and everyone else.

(SIGHS)

Hard drive, prepare the War Machine Armor,

so it's real nice and shiny for when Tony kicks my rear.

STINGRAY: You're in serious hot water, Iron Man.

Fired from Stark's security umbrella,

and then assaulting a Level Six Naval Command Officer is no laughing...

IRON MAN: Maybe I'm working alone these days, but believe me, Stingray,

I don't want to fight you.

STINGRAY: Yeah, well, tell that to the feds

when they slam your sorry butt in the brig.

IRON MAN: Hydro Armor.

(SCREAMS IN PAIN)

(IRON MAN PANTING)

IRON MAN: Chest on fire. I got to rest.

Nothing happened.

Stingray's equipment isn't based on Stark technology. What have I done?

WAR MACHINE: Well, let's see.

Near as I can figure, you've trespassed on federal property,

assaulted a naval officer,

and taken a dip without waiting an hour after mealtime.

IRON MAN: I don't have time for one of your morality lectures, Jim.

WAR MACHINE: Yeah, well, make time.

I'm here to put the kibosh on your act, one way or another.

IRON MAN: Don't you get it? I have to do this! I have to!

It's the only way to make sure my designs...

Wait a minute, your War Machine armor is also one of my designs.

WAR MACHINE: Tony! You got rust in your helmet or what? Knock it off!

IRON MAN: No! Can't stop! Must not stop!

WAR MACHINE: Man, you've really lost it.

(GASPING) No! Not again! Not the water!

HOMER: Sir, you are drowning Mr. Rhodes!

IRON MAN: Jim? Drowning?

WAR MACHINE: Now what?

Don't tell me he's gonna make it rain on me.

Wait, he's not showing up on radar.

He must've activated his stinking Stealth Armor.

IRON MAN: I'm sorry, Jim.

But your armor's based on the same Stark technology they're tracking down.

If it ever fell into the wrong hands...

Don't you see? Too much blood has already been spilled with my sword.

It has to end.

(JIM GROANING)

WAR MACHINE: Your timing stinks, Stark!

Just when I'd gotten used to the darn thing again.

JUSTIN: Ladies and gentlemen.

No. Iron Man, Stark Enterprises' squeaky-clean corporate symbol,

has become an uncontrollable menace.

Mr. Hammer? Don't you mean former corporate symbol?

Whatever.

So, as a loyally patriotic citizen of this great nation,

and to end this sad chapter in history, I've placed all of Hammer Corporation's

considerable resources at the government's disposal.

(REPORTERS MURMURING)

In a momentous collaboration,

the final solution to the Iron Man threat.

Ladies and gentlemen, meet Firepower!

These radio-controlled tanks and planes are just for target practice.

Firepower was built for one purpose, and one purpose only,

to ensure the security and safety of the world

by destroying the renegade Iron Man.

You got it wrong, Hammer, old boy.

It's Firepower, using my stolen technology, that needs the destroying.

(MEN SHOUTING)

JULIA: Iron Man? Come in, Iron Man!

Come on, Tony, you stubborn mule, I know you can hear me.

IRON MAN: Then why are you yelling? JULIA: Don't get smart with me, Stark.

Just hustle your skinny metal behind out of there! It's a trap!

IRON MAN: No kidding, Sherlock. JULIA: Then why are you...

IRON MAN: Because now everything makes sense. Hammer built Firepower.

Five'll get you 10, he was behind the thefts all along.

If I can take Hammer's brain child apart and analyze it,

I'll have the proof I need.

And then what, Tony? What possible good can...

Look, Julia, I'd love to chat,

but there's a 5,000 pound gorilla looking to peel me like a banana.

Tony? Tony! Oh, you stupid...

(HELMET RINGING LOUDLY)

Nothing like an iron helmet to nicely amplify the sound of an explosion.

HOMER: Warning, Iron Man's heart rate

and blood pressure are at critical levels.

IRON MAN: All right, laughing boy, maybe you've got me outgunned.

But this armor of mine wasn't just built for comfort, it was built for speed!

FIREPOWER: Locking on target.

Locking on target.

Locking on target. On target, on target, on target...

IRON MAN: Miss me?

Here's a chip on your shoulder. Negator Chip, that is.

Mind if I ask you a question?

Shouldn't your circuits be turning to guacamole about now?

FIREPOWER: Locking on target. IRON MAN: That's one answer.

(IRON MAN GRUNTS)

So after Iron Man's vicious and unprovoked

attack upon the guardsmen,

I analyzed his Negator Packs

and discovered a way to neutralize their effects.

They're totally useless against Firepower's design.

(POWER FADING IN ARMOR)

(GROANS)

HOMER: Sir, your circuitry has run down,

repulsor power nearly exhausted.

And, oh, yes, you have two broken ribs.

IRON MAN: Okay, now give me the bad news.

HOMER: Continued combat could prove fatal.

IRON MAN: You're absolutely right.

What is he doing?

HOMER: Apparently, launching another attack.

Tony.

FIREPOWER: Locking on target.

Ladies and gentlemen, you have just witnessed live, on national TV,

the end of Iron Man.

(GASPING)

What a stinking, lousy waste.

SOLDIER: Watch out! Here comes Iron Man!

(WHOOPS) Look at him fly!

(LAUGHING)

- What's so funny, soldier? - Nothing, sir.

You bet your job, nothing!

That was a good man in that armor, and he deserves your respect.

Is that clear?

- Sir, yes, sir! - Sir, yes, sir!

Now get out of my sight.

Funny, I don't see any blood. And all the circuits have been negated.

There's something not kosher about that metallic mauler.

(WEEPING)

Miss Carpenter, though I am not programmed to experience loss,

may I offer my sympathy?

Sometimes I think you're the lucky one, HOMER.

It must be nice not to feel any pain.

TONY: (ON RADIO) Stark to Stark Enterprises. Stark to Stark Enterprises.

- Do you read me? - Tony?

- Alive and kicking. - But how?

We saw you get blown up.

Correction. You saw my armor get blown up. Where's Rhodey?

JIM: In a chopper, headed home from Stingray's.

Thought I had a funeral to attend.

I'm sorry to disappoint you.

Listen, I'll be the one limping down the Interstate 5 outside Camp Pendleton.

Think you could make a little detour?

Broken ribs, extensive bruises and hematomas,

multiple symptoms of neural and cardiovascular dysfunction.

Don't forget the athlete's feet.

(COUGHS)

Look, I realized that all my missions hadn't solved anything.

If Firepower could be designed to resist my Negator Packs,

then so could others.

My actions were all too little, and too late.

So, I set the Iron Man armor on remote control,

and put him out of my misery.

Man, why didn't you level with us, man?

Why do you always have to go it alone?

I don't know. I guess I was afraid.

No, not afraid, angry.

Angry that somebody had stolen your special toy.

- All right. - Angry,

- like some sort of spoiled, rich brat! - All right! I know! It was wrong!

I was wrong. That's why I want to ask you both to forgive me.

Tony, you can't treat people like machines.

We have emotions.

And emotions are not just something you can switch on and off,

like a computer.

Should I be offended by that remark?

(ALL LAUGHING)

(GROANS)

Whoever said laughter was the best medicine ought to be shot.

Hey, what about Hammer? If that sleaze stole your designs,

- I assume you're... - I'm not going after anyone anymore.

The world wanted Iron Man gone. They got their wish.

Stark Enterprises can go back to business as usual,

and no one has to worry about some lunatic vigilante in a metal suit.

You've done well, my mechanical confrere.

But destroying Iron Man was just the first step.

Step two is the complete and total annihilation

of the great Stark Enterprises.

(LAUGHING)

Turning to business, Stark Enterprises has become a company under a curse,

as it suffers one inexplicable tragedy after another.

On Wall Street, trading was halted

as investors sold Stark Enterprises stock at fire-sale prices.

In other news...

(GROANS)

Tough day at the office?

(SIGHS)

I've had better.

I thought you might be interested to know

that Firepower's shown up missing.

Figures. Nothing else could cause so much damage and not leave any clues.

Of course, Hammer's playing cute and dumb,

but I'm figuring he took back his wind-up doll

and is using it to put you out of business.

You got a point, Fury?

Without proof, I can't stop either one of them. You can.

Well, what do you want me to do, sue him?

I first need evidence tying him in with Firepower...

I'm not talking about a courtroom fix, pal. What you need is Iron Man.

Well, in case you haven't been reading the papers, Iron Man's dead.

FURY: Then so is Stark Enterprises,

unless you can fix it so old Shellhead comes back from the boneyard.

- But Iron Man's no longer... - Think about it.

What's wrong?

Tony's been locked up in there for days.

Usually I get a couple grunts when I knock.

- Now he won't even answer! - You don't think he's gone...

Man's been depressed for a week.

I've never seen him so low. What do you think?

(SIGHS) I think it's time to pull my spider strength out of the cobwebs.

Stand back!

Don't worry, I'll put it on my expense report.

(ELECTRICITY CRACKLING)

JIM: Tony.

- Does this mean what I... - IRON MAN: Mark Twain once said,

"The rumors of my death have been greatly exaggerated."

Iron Man lives!

Hate to break your concentration, mister, but you are trespassing.

FIREPOWER: Data error. Subject Iron Man has been deactivated.

IRON MAN: What can I tell you? We superheroes are a resilient lot.

We just keep going and going and going.

Fortunately, you were pretty easy to track down.

Just checked out the five or six Stark operations you hadn't hit yet, and voilà.

HOMER: The Exo Armor seems to be performing up to expectations, sir.

IRON MAN: Not much of a fashion statement, but yeah, it does the trick.

Helps cut down on the rug burns, too.

FIREPOWER: Cranial circuitry overload.

IRON MAN: Long as you got a headache,

here's the bellyache to go along with it.

That ought to hold him.

(RUMBLING)

IRON MAN: Then again, it was only 1,200 tons of steel.

FIREPOWER: Subject Iron Man must surrender.

IRON MAN: Subject Iron Man doesn't like the look of this.

(GROANS)

That hurt.

HOMER: Sir, that is a limited-yield neutron bomb warhead.

IRON MAN: Well, I didn't think it was a head of lettuce.

Can't you talk him out of this, HOMER? You speak robot.

HO MER: I'm afraid I don't know what you...

IRON MAN: Hey, Firepower.

Don't think I'm not flattered,

but isn't using a neutron bomb against me kind of overkill?

FIREPOWER: Subject Iron Man is not the target.

Target is on the outskirts of Los Angeles, future site of...

IRON MAN: Stark Towers!

HO MER: Sir, radiation would be confined to the construction site,

but there are some 700 construction workers there.

FIREPOWER: Commencing launch procedure.

IRON MAN: No!

FIREPOWER: Launch capability has been neutralized.

IRON MAN: But the bomb is still gonna blow? Not good.

Typical. Couldn't just have a user-friendly onloff switch.

HOMER: Sir, if my analysis is correct,

thirteen seconds remain until the fuel is spent

and the neutron bomb goes off.

- 12, 11, 10... - HOMER, that's not helping!

... nine, eight, seven, six, five, four, three...

- Well, when in doubt, just break it. - ... two...

(SIGHS IN RELIEF)

Sir, was that last action prudent?

Not particularly. But, hey, it worked.

Okay, Chuckles. Doctor Iron Man needs to access your database. Open wide.

You're not dead after all.

I admit I'm surprised, and I loathe surprises.

I'm waiting, Iron Man.

Aren't you supposed to say something annoyingly heroic like,

"And your time has come"?

IRON MAN: Idle threats aren't my style.

S.H.I.E.L.D. And Stark are heading a task force,

which will explain my actions,

but there's no way I can prove you sent Firepower to ruin Stark Enterprises.

There's no way my boss, Mr. Stark, can nail you through legal channels.

Then sadly, there's nothing you can do.

Except deliver this little early Christmas gift, compliments of Anthony B. Stark.

I'm feeding an interesting little computer virus into your system,

one that destroys any record of the Iron Man technology,

regardless of how it's been pass-coded or encrypted.

- No! - Oh, yes.

We already did the same over the Internet.

Call it filling the pot-holes on the old information superhighway.

Now no one will be able to duplicate the technology you stole,

and no one will be harmed by its misuse again.

(COMPUTER BEEPS)

Oh. Call me reckless,

but I also accidentally erased everything else in your computers.

Hope that won't set Hammer Industries back more than a couple... Three years.

If you work real hard, you can probably just avoid bankruptcy.

Give your pretty boy employer this message, Iron Man.

I'm not through with him yet!

IRON MAN: I'm sure he's shaking in his booties.

Rhodey, Julia, thanks for coming.

I've got some Jamaican Blue Mountain coffee on.

You gave us a real scare, Tony. I'm just glad you're back.

(TONY CHUCKLES)

TONY: I guess I sort of lost it there for a while, didn't I?

I couldn't handle the guilt of knowing that

my inventions were being misused, causing people pain.

Because the last thing I ever wanted was to cause pain.

Especially to those people I really care about.

Who've stuck by me when no one else would. I... I...

Get some sleep, Tony. You look tired.

- Morning, governor. What can I... - That ring in the window.

Yes. I can see you've got a fancy for the baubles.

And I'll bet you're willing to pay right dearly for it, aren't you?

As you might guess, it's a very valuable...

I have no intention of paying for it. I offer a trade.

(STRAINING) And what might that be?

The ring for your life.

- It's a deal, sir! - I thought so.

(CHUCKLING)

Soon, Iron Man. Very soon now.

(LAUGHING EVILLY)

I am Iron Man!

I am Iron Man!