Original subtitles

(BEEPING)

JUSTIN: Brilliant! Only Tony Stark could have invented a robot wildcatter

which can pinpoint places to drill for oil.

- I must have it! - I fully concur.

You do? I thought your primary interest

was getting your hands on Iron Man's Armor,

that my business concerns were secondary.

In this instance, we share the same agenda.

Modok! Disable Stark's wildcatter and reprogram its protocols.

At once, Mandarin!

With the wildcatter's robot brain paralyzed,

Whirlwind is making it seem that a sandstorm

has interrupted its operation. Then Blizzard freezes the rig

to give Dreadknight time to access its memory bank.

Soon, the wildcatter will go off-line and serve us,

and Stark will never know what happened to it!

(ALL LAUGHING)

- Knock, knock. - JUSTIN: Iron Man!

Why so surprised? Don't you know I work for Tony Stark?

And Mr. Stark doesn't like his inventions tampered with.

Dreadknight! You'll get a charge out of this!

(DREADKNIGHT SCREAMS)

BLACKLASH: We did not expect you, Iron Man.

IRON MAN: I don't usually phone for appointments, Blacklash!

Here's why!

(BLACKLASH GRUNTS)

BLIZZARD: This is no place to be!

(IRON MAN GROANING)

Are you comfortable, Iron Man?

Do you feel the power of my rings eating into your flesh?

Stark's lackeys! I'll not waste my power on underlings.

I shall return to fight another day.

SPIDER WOMAN: Greetings, geeks!

The wildcatter's warning system worked fine,

but did we get here fast enough to whip The Mandarin?

Nothing human could have survived that blast. And yet, I wonder.

We could end up ahead of the game, Tony. This came from Sky Saucer.

A Black Box flight recorder! If we can break its code,

we might learn some of The Mandarin's most vital secrets!

This architecture has the capacity to deliver random access chronology

and holographic memory recapitulation.

Meaning what, man?

I left my encyclopedia in the glove compartment.

Meaning we've stumbled onto some sort of electronic diary!

The Mandarin keeps a diary?

(GIGGLES) Sure, Jim. "Dear diary,

"I couldn't get a date for the prom, so I had to take Modok.

"He ate his corsage."

(LAUGHING)

TONY: Whatever's inside,

The Mandarin obviously wants it to remain a secret.

It's booby-trapped with enough fulminate of annihilum

to turn Beverly Hills into Beverly Flats!

But we're still going for it, right?

I mean, Mandarin's diary could give us a handle on the creep.

With your brilliance and my hex power,

we'll find a way to disarm the device and learn what's inside.

I'm curious, too,

but right now, we have 20 wildcatters looking for oil in the desert,

and The Mandarin and his flunkie, Justin Hammer,

are determined to beat us to it. Jim,

I want you and Clint to ride shotgun with me on those wildcatters

- until one of them makes a strike. - Right, Tone. Hawk?

Meanwhile, Century and Julia will monitor wildcatter alarm channels.

And Wanda, you can start looking for a safe means to unlock that Black Box.

IRON MAN: Thrusters, up! WAR MACHINE: Later!

Well, then, we know what we must do.

Sure, but it won't take all of us to monitor those alarm channels.

(LAUGHS) Of course not, Julia, my pumpkin.

And my hex power tells me

the detonator in this box can be disarmed

by a non-metallic analyzer.

Stop, Wanda! If you're wrong, we shall be vaporized!

You're not going to get me killed, you Middle European meathead!

Cowardly cow! You'll short out the analyzer!

The foam evidently provided sufficient electrical conductance

to bypass the triggering mechanism!

Now we can see what's inside...

(BEEPING)

Speak to us now!

I am The Mandarin,

destined to become ruler of the known world.

I speak to you, members of some future race,

so you will know of my power and my glory!

It's The Mandarin's personal time capsule!

My story begins here,

in the desolate heat of Central Asia, a wild and lawless place,

in a time of rebellion, when madness rode the wind

and armies fought to the death for barbaric masters long dead.

I was then an ambitious young archeologist called Arno Brock,

and I had come to seek my destiny,

a destiny which would bring me the power to dominate the Earth!

We must return to base camp at once, Professor Brock!

Our bearers have sighted a band of armed renegades!

They have been looting the countryside

and will surely rob and murder us without a qualm!

Quickly, Hongliang!

THE MANDARIN: My guide was Yinsen, a brilliant young physicist.

We did not know it then, but our paths would cross again and again.

The gods be praised! New weapons! Nothing can stop us now!

(WHOOPING)

YINSEN: Professor Brock, our luck has gone sour.

The telegraph wires to Hangchow have been cut

and our extra ammunition and weapons have fallen to the renegades

who will undoubtedly surround us when night comes.

Without a miracle, we are doomed!

And so begins the story of how I became The Mandarin.

Our doom was sealed, and as darkness fell,

Yinsen and the others waited for death as best they could.

This is fascinating!

THE MANDARIN: I was strangely unconcerned,

certain that I was destined for greater things

than an ignominious final rendezvous with the Grim Reaper.

(EXCLAIMS) You startled me, llona!

The time we have left, I wish to spend it with you, dearest Arno.

THE MANDARIN: Ilona Vermeer, my fiancée.

I need to think, woman!

My mind is a weapon, and I must deploy it before it's too late!

But there is hope, my love!

Dear Yinsen has generously arranged a chance for us to escape. Look!

- A stinking camel? Don't be absurd! - The bearers must not hear.

Yinsen expects the renegades to attack at dawn.

These rocks will give us cover, and the camel can take us

where the renegades' horses cannot go!

(SCOFFS) Without a diversion, they'll pick us off like sitting ducks.

Yinsen will launch a counter-attack to distract them.

We are to flee when he lowers his handkerchief.

He says it is his wedding present to us.

THE MANDARIN: A chance to survive! I was determined to make the most of it.

(RENEGADES YELLING)

The bearers and I are unmarried. You have your lives before you.

I pray you may live to enjoy them together.

Bless you, Yinsen.

A blessing would be most welcome, Miss Vermeer.

- I thank you as well, dear friend. - Then I wish you good joss.

Attack!

Get ready, darling. When Yinsen lowers his...

Arno? Come back!

THE MANDARIN: I had been put on Earth to achieve a great purpose.

I could not diminish the chances of my survival

by burdening the camel with a second rider,

even the woman I loved.

(BROCK SCREAMING)

THE MANDARIN: I was about to learn the true secret

of those grim and mysterious clay warriors.

A thousand years earlier, Mongol priests had created them

to stand watch over a strange subterranean cavern

filled with terrifying secrets, secrets they had buried for eternity.

My arm had been broken, and the faint but overpowering stench

of sulfur and brimstone chilled me to the bone.

But that did not matter,

because I had made the greatest and most astonishing discovery of all!

The cavern was actually the petrified hulk

of an immense alien spacecraft which had crashed to Earth eons ago.

Though its occupants were no more,

its eternal power source was still as great as ever!

A bolt of unknown energy seared my lungs and surged into my brain!

My mind exploded, dazzling my eyes with a vision of the cosmos!

I had communed with the infinite and survived,

my arm miraculously healed

and my strength growing with every breath!

The path to predestined greatness was now clear before me!

I knew what I had to do!

(THE MANDARIN LAUGHING)

(THE MANDARIN SIGHS)

Mystic gems from an alien world. Through their power,

I was reborn as The Mandarin!

The growth of my strength and intellect was incalculable!

I could taste the sweet nectar of world conquest on the tip of my tongue!

And then...

(HISSING)

(GROWLING)

DRAGON: The stones are mine!

Come back! Back!

I must have them!

THE MANDARIN: My heart stopped.

I knew if I did not leave that cavern at once, I would die horribly!

The power of the gems

had transformed my thoughts to deeds!

I was invincible!

And I wondered, Ilona, was she still alive?

IRON MAN: I'm at Wildcatter Number Nine, and still no sign of The Mandarin!

Thar she blows! Nine brought in a gusher!

Jim! Hawkeye! Report!

HAWKEYE: Looks like you're batting .500 on finding oil,

and zilch on finding Mandy and his goon squad.

WAR MACHINE: I don't get it, Tone.

First off The Mandarin wants to glom onto a wildcatter for Hammer,

then he ducks out of the game. It doesn't make sense.

Unless The Mandarin suckered us.

Armory Communications. Emergency Band Omega! Scramble!

Come in, Century! Wanda! Julia! Come in! Urgent!

Do you read me? Acknowledge!

SPIDER WOMAN: Tony's calling us. CENTURY: It is not important.

Watching The Mandarin is all that matters.

- That is correct. - IRON MAN: Come in! Come in now!

Come in, Century! Wanda! Julia!

We've been had. Head home!

- WAR MACHINE: Sandstorm! - No, it's that wacko, Whirlwind!

Nothing like a good sandblasting to scrub the rust off your butt, Iron Man.

And now it's time to chill out!

- The sand! It's icing up around us! - We're being turned into hailstones!

Too heavy to fly!

WHIRLWIND: (LAUGHS) Good! Good! Goodbye!

IRON MAN: Thrusters iced up!

(WAR MACHINE SCREAMING)

(WAR MACHINE GRUNTING)

The campsite had been picked clean.

But there was no sign of Yinsen or Ilona.

The same fate that fulfilled my dream had cast them to the winds.

Ilona's rings!

The ignorant savages had plucked out her gems and left the bands behind!

They were to be Ilona's last gift to me.

A very practical gift, as it turned out!

My new powers were now quite literally at my fingertips!

And then, he called.

(ROARING)

FIN FANG FOOM: Arno Brock! You have stolen my greatest treasures.

I take what I choose!

Whatever you are, come forth!

(FIN FANG FOOM GROWLING)

Die, arrogant microbe!

THE MANDARIN: The dragon beast could not destroy me, nor I him,

so we formed a strange, unholy alliance.

I hope you have enjoyed my brief but compelling biography.

We certainly have.

(THE MANDARIN LAUGHS)

Haven't we, my dear Hypnotia?

I've had a ball, Mandarin.

I've never tried delayed-action hypnotism this way before,

but it looks like a smash!

Disarm your security! Your friends want to come in for a visit.

Watch them, Dreadknight! To Iron Man's Hall of Armor!

- Quickly! - Yes!

Oops!

- Sorry! - You dorkmeister!

- WAR MACHINE: You okay, Tone? - It's not definite. Damage report.

ARMOR: All systems fully operational.

- Are you with us, Hawk? - They trashed my hog, man!

It won't be pretty, but then neither are you. The Armory! Now!

THE MANDARIN: Astounding!

MODOK: Moderately impressive, but it lacks warmth.

A chintz love seat here, a nice painting of dogs playing poker...

Silence, you envious cerebellum!

At last, this magnificent hall shall provide me

with the armor I have hungered for!

Computer! Arm me to the ultimate!

Give me strength and maximum destructive power!

ARMOR: Adamantium Armor. Nuclear capability.

THE MANDARIN: Yes!

(THE MANDARIN LAUGHING)

Yes!

IRON MAN: There's a disruption on my situation scanners!

It can only mean that The Mandarin's gotten into the Hall of Armor!

HAWKEYE: How did he get past our guys?

IRON MAN: We'll find out!

And now, my armor is complete!

(THE MANDARIN LAUGHING)

DREADKNIGHT: What a pity you are not aware of my presence.

If you were, you would be trembling to be so close

to my bold, manly machismo!

HAWKEYE: Machismo? Isn't that Spanish for "dipstick"?

Yes, Spanish, as in hasta la vista, baby!

Julia, Wanda, Century. Can you hear me?

(SCARLET WITCH EXCLAIMS)

- The Mandarin's life story. - We were hypnotized.

The Hall of Armor!

I've got my hall pass right here!

THE MANDARIN: What craftsmanship!

Yes! Yes! Undersea Armor!

IRON MAN: Too bad there's no Armor for Six Feet Underground.

You're going to need it.

Then come and get me!

- A psy web! - HYPNOTIA: How icky!

Oh, this I've got to see!

Release me or I'll sue!

I didn't want to damage my Hall of Armor

while I'm tearing you apart, Iron Man.

You see, this time I not only have the power of my rings,

I also have your Armor!

Yes, Mandarin, and my Armor has you!

What? I'm...

(THE MANDARIN GROANING)

Exterminating you!

- Way to go! - Smack yourself again!

SCARLET WITCH: Excellent! CENTURY: How special.

- HAWKEYE: Beautiful, man. - You were saying?

I was saying farewell!

(GROANS)

I have won.

This is not over.

It will never be over until one of us is dust!

And I will never be that one!