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Subtitles by explosiveskull www.OpenSubtitles.org M_I_SForEver

It was more than just a band to me,

it was my family.

They were

in a very real way, all I had.

I lost my mother before Bane started,

lost my father halfway through Bane.

Never had a relationship last past a few years.

They were the one relationship that I seemed to be

pretty good at,

anyway, I'm not sure if I could say I was very good at it.

I love this life,

I love being on the road,

I love playing this music.

I love my guys in the band.

From day one, it's always kind of been the same.

Did whatever we wanted to do,

and did the music whenever we wanted to do it.

We'll tour when we wanna tour,

do tours that we want to do.

That feeling of team is something I'll miss.

You know, when you're in a band with guys for so long,

you know, you're a team.

I grew into the person I am

because of the guys in the band.

Because I had to learn how to exist with them,

and I had to learn the art of compromise and sacrifice.

Everything we wrote was due to something

that happened to us in our lives,

and

it just so happens that

this stuff happens in a lot of people's lives.

I'm up there screaming my head off,

losing my mind,

and I look out,

and there is kids doing the same thing.

It's a connection that

you just don't feel,

really anywhere else.

♪ Who will set me free? ♪

I had a hard time leaving for that final tour.

It all happened so fast.

It all just came rushing forth.

Literally 17 years of like,

essentially nonstop touring and then,

going to this one and knowing that

it's the last time you're ever going to go anywhere.

So, this is the first show of this tour,

definitely not a big fan of trying to find

the perfect words to express how we're feeling right now.

I can only tell you how I'm feeling,

and it's very, very thankful,

and very overwhelming.

It was the first show of the tour,

and it was the second that

me and Bedard looked at each other on stage and said,

"The fuck have we done?"

♪ When Armageddon's ♪

♪ Been locked and loaded ♪

♪ I will come back for you ♪

♪ I will come back for you ♪

♪ When Armageddon's ♪

♪ Been locked and loaded ♪

♪ I will come back for you ♪

♪ I will come back for you ♪

♪ When Armageddon's ♪

♪ Been locked and loaded ♪

♪ I will come back for you ♪

It was really nice just to watch

a room just give everything to the band that,

for the last 20 years,

has given everything to us.

♪ I can still see the reasons ♪

♪ That I opened my eyes to the scene in the first place ♪

♪ And I can still feel my beliefs growing stronger ♪

♪ stronger every day ♪

It was sad but, it was really good sing-alongs,

and it was like our family reunion.

Seeing the people that I met 10 years ago,

and I don't see them all that often,

but it's my family,

it's my friends.

I think what sets Bane apart from every other band,

is that they have an energy I've never seen have

like, in a fan base.

People go completely ballistic and crazy.

I've just never seen that type of like,

happy, like positive energy in hardcore.

It was a just a different feeling,

it was a totally different vibe

than everything I've been accustomed to.

One little request,

you can put the punching

and the kicking away for the night.

Yeah.

Treat each other with a little bit of respect

and compassion.

Move up, sing along, have some fun.

At Bane shows,

there's not a lot of like, posturing.

When Bane plays, that goes away, it doesn't matter.

I feel very lucky that my first introduction to hardcore

was through a Bane show,

because it's a completely different atmosphere.

You are a 1000% accepted.

As a woman, you know, growing up in hardcore and punk,

that isn't a feeling you usually get from a band.

I still believe, that this is a special place,

for people of all sizes, all beliefs, boys and girls,

this isn't just some fucking kickboxing club.

Soon as that music starts,

you just can't stand still.

You have to be a part of the music.

Can't just be on the side.

I felt like there was a comraderie

and respect at Bane shows.

And I think it sort of pulled some of the people

from just the general hardcore scene,

into a more...

A bigger community,

and did something that other bands weren't doing,

and kind of brought this family feeling to hardcore.

It is about emotion,

and about connection,

and a community is a great.

Is a great way to look at it.

It's definitely not intentional

in any kind of really thought out way.

It's just...

It's what we do,

we want everybody to come.

You're all our family,

come and respect us,

and have fun.

Bedard writes about it all the time,

if you can't do that and respect it,

well there's the door.

Let hit you on the ass, right?

If you come into this fucking room,

with the intentions of doing something interactive,

proactive, then this thing truly does belong to you,

this is your fucking kingdom.

I've always sort of wondered if I found punk and hardcore,

or if it was always going to find me.

Music and hardcore in general, was like

the first time that anybody ever...

I feel like saw good in me.

You know, it was like the first time that

I was ever accepted in any place ever.

It's more than just music,

it's the people involved.

It was the punk and hardcore scene

that made me feel welcome,

which is ironic because it was predominantly white.

But I felt like,

these are my people,

this is where I feel safe.

You always have that music

and the people connected to it,

that you can reach out to,

that you have so much in common with.

It was a place for me to exist and be free,

and not have to live by anyone else's rules.

I think that was an opportunity for people

that felt like they had something they needed to say,

to be able to just say, "Hey, I can do this."

You didn't have to be on a big stage, in an amphitheater.

You know, it could be in a hall, with 20 of your friends.

But I think it's a worthy search to try and find

that fucking thing that you will not let go of,

that you will die for.

For me, the first real hardcore band where,

it like clicked.

I went to Newbury Comics in Shrewsberry,

just flipping through the seven inches,

and I saw the "Inside Out" seven inch.

That photo, where Zack de la Rocha's just going bonkers,

and you read the liner notes,

"Thanks to this band, thanks to that band."

And you know,

I started buying all those seven inches.

And then, going to the local shows,

I discovered Converge,

and then I realized after that,

that the guitar player for Converge,

was the person working at Newbury Comics, Aaron Dalbec.

So, this building over here,

this is a place called the Worcester Artist Group.

We used to actually all go to shows here,

before we really knew each other.

It led us to finding a hall called

the Quinsigamond Village Community Center,

where we were able to book our own shows,

and our own bands.

The first band that I really did anything with,

was Converge.

That was probably like, '93 or '94.

Me and my friend, Steve Neale,

started a band called Barrit.

Kind of math metal techy stuff.

As soon as I realized that I could just sing in a band,

that you didn't need any talent or anything,

you know, we just did it.

My friends were starting a band

and they needed a bass player.

So, I didn't really have any interest before that.

I fell in love with it really fast.

Aggressive Hate, was the first band.

We had songs titled, "Skate, Don't Think,"

and things like that.

Then came a band called Backbone.

'87 would have been Backbone, all the way till '90.

Damon and I, the old drummer from Converge,

we we're just gonna have fun and start this new project.

So we had started writing songs.

Ben Chused who had played drums in Ten Yard Fight,

was originally going to play second guitar,

but he had some legal problems,

that he couldn't leave his house.

And September of '95,

Bedard's old band, Backbone, had done a reunion show.

Within a month, Chris Pupecki,

the guitar player of Cast Iron Hike, was in a record store,

that Aaron Dalbec worked at.

I don't know Aaron Dalbec,

I've never even heard of his band,

Converge, at that time.

Dalbec says, "Hey, do you know anyone

"who might want to sing in my new band?"

And he said, "Oh, we just did the Backbone reunion,

"you should call Bedard."

And he gave me his phone number,

he's like, "I don't know if he'd want to do it,

"but, here's his number, give him a call."

I didn't know it at the time,

but it was gonna be the best phone call that I ever took.

Still kind of looking for a bass player.

And we found Pete early on.

Pete was the first piece that came after me.

He was like, "Don't you play bass?"

And I was like, "Yeah,"

and he's like, "You should come try out."

And I was like, you know,.

I was like, "Aaron from Converge asked me

"to come and try out for his band."

Dalbec wasn't crazy about the way he played bass.

He didn't play with a pick, he just like,

played with his fingers.

At the end of practice, Aaron Dalbec said,

"It went good but,

"you have to learn to play with a pick.

"Learn how to do that or,

it's not gonna work out."

I guess he went home, and like, practiced all week long.

It was so hard.

I was okay with my fingers, and like,

they say, "No, you can't do that anymore.

"You have to like, relearn the whole thing."

Aaron Dalbec, he had a definite vision.

He was gonna write these songs that were fast,

and spirited, and short.

Now lyrically,

I was formulating a very specific idea in my head

about what the language of my lyric attack was going to be.

I'm being given a shot here to put a pen to paper

and to say something.

I've been waiting for this moment as a creative person

for a very long time,

and to make sure that the lyrics were strong.

December of '95, we recorded the "Demo".

That was the first time that any band brought in

like, a serious crew of people to do gang vocals.

You know "Demo" was recorded

and we still didn't know what we were gonna be called.

The only one that I remember that I came up with,

was "Summer Ends."

Which, thank God, we didn't go with "Summer Ends."

I legitimately was looking through a thesaurus,

and got to the B's,

and what did I think of Bane?

The poison of something,

or the thing that destroys something else,

it just sounded hard.

I think they told me the name,

and I was like, "I don't really like that."

You know, I wasn't on the board to decide that.

I just kept thinking of, you know,

how cool it's gonna look on a shirt,

like strong, and four letters.

Before the first show, we had made a lot of demo tapes.

I remember going to New Bedford Fest,

Pete Chilton was giving out the free demos.

We had the "Demo" out for like a couple months,

and then we played our first show.

There was a definite feeling in the air.

Dalbec was a cool kid in a cool band,

and people that had seen the Backbone reunion,

were anxious to see the new thing was so,

we were hyped up man,

we were ready to hit that fucking stage hard.

We played that first note,

and Aaron sang that first lyric,

it was like an eruption of chorus of people singing.

Somehow it felt like at that first show,

everybody knew every song already.

I think people were just hungry for something

a little bit new, or different at that moment.

In our general central mass area, things were wild.

And then, you know, we just made a bunch of friends early,

and those kids were excited to come out,

and would go off a little harder every time.

Kurt Ballou from Converge was filling in guitar,

and he was just, was like,

"Until you find somebody, I'll play."

At the same time, I was in Barrit,

a metal band with Zach.

I said, "I know this guy named Zach,

"and he's really good,

"and he goes crazy on stage."

I think I was like a little bit jealous of Pete

when he was in the band and I was like, ú

"Oh man, you get to be in this cool band,"

and then one day he had asked me

if I wanted to come try out for Bane.

I don't even know if they tried anybody else out,

but they accepted me tryout so.

I came in six months after the band started.

We've always laughed about how

I've never been asked to actually join Bane.

They'll tease me every now and then,

and say, "You're just a fill-in."

"Motherfucker, I wrote like five records with you guys now.'

It's bitter sweet.

It was a great show

but, it's sad that it's the last time.

Especially when it's a band that you've

you know, enjoyed some times with.

Coming to grips with the fact that

you're not gonna see some of those people, maybe ever.

It was pretty tough.

They're soaking everything up,

these shows are awesome.

Wow, we haven't had a show this good in this city

for how long, you know what I mean.

It's in the back of your head.

It's like, what is will not be in less than two months.

Next day was Gilman.

Gilman

Gilman.

Which is you know, the greatest...

The greatest venue in the country, maybe the world.

Legendary in the punk hardcore scene.

♪ Out of the road ♪

Yeah

♪ Little boys let their beards grow ♪

The amount of friends that have came out,

got in the van,

flew in from places,

it's already getting overwhelming.

I flew out to California to follow

the last leg of that tour on the West Coast.

'Cause I wanted to get in as many Bane moments

as I could before it was gone.

So, it's been a good long ride.

I can't imagine there being a luckier band out there.

So, I think it was close to a 1000 people in there.

I didn't really get a chance to take it all in

on how insane the show was.

Kids were going ape-shit.

If I wasn't old and didn't have back problems,

I would have tried stage diving.

The condensation and the sweat from everyone,

the humidity, made the stage like an ice skating rink.

Everything was so fucking slippery, it was crazy.

By the third or fourth song,

I realized that I couldn't jump, I couldn't move.

I just kept thinking I was gonna bust my ass,

like, or do a split or something.

That became a part of the fun for me.

It was sick watching everyone,

this like balancing act.

We've had a pretty extensive relationship with California.

Some of our really good friends live there.

It was kind of bizarre going there for the last time,

and really not knowing

if we were ever going to see some of those people again.

So it was a pretty hard thing to do,

and pretty emotional night.

This is the first truly,

truly devastating one for me

to have to be saying goodbye to California,

tonight is crazy.

I was a little sad that we didn't get to play

at the Chain Reaction,

a venue that we've been going to

since our first tour in '98, and have...

I would venture to say

anytime we've ever been to California,

we've played Chain Reaction at least once.

But, it was a good night, it was a fun show.

California has been the hardest to leave

since we started this final US tour.

Because until then, I had in my brain,

everybody in the United States was going to the final show.

And so, I'm giving everybody hugs in Santa Ana,

and I'm like, "I'll see you in June,"

and they're like, "No, like, tonight was it."

and then it would just like...

It hit me like a wall.

My brain is in denial right now and,

I'm still kind of in denial.

You can interview me after the last show

- at the mental hospital. - Yeah

And then we got to kick it two days in Vegas.

Two of the glazed, two of those, two of those.

Good donut.

This band is about all the tears,

and the sweat,

and the blood,

and the passion that we've put into this,

for us so that we can continue

to find our way through this world.

Every like six or eight months we recorded

new songs for an E.P.

The "Demo" came out in '96,

the "Seven Inch" came out in the fall of '96,

and I think "Free To Think, Free To Be"

came out in the spring of '97.

"Holding This Moment" came out in '98,

which was the seven inch.

They had asked me toward the end of 1997

to come back and play drums instead of playing guitar.

That was like the first like,

big studio type of thing that we did with Bane.

At that point, I thought, this is Dalbec's band,

and I didn't wanna ruin that vision that these guys have,

by putting my weirdo metal influences into it or whatever.

The first three seven inches

just have a lot of very spirited

in love with hardcore type of stuff.

But there's some dark stuff on there too.

I was pretty good at being able to navigate my way through

dark themes and maybe bring it around to

something a little more optimistic in the end.

"Holding This Moment",

like when you first put on that record,

and it's like.

You know, even the beginning of that song

is just nothing like you've ever really heard

in another hardcore band.

When I try to provide an example of a band I was in

or when I played drums on something that I'm proud of,

it's that song, and that E.P.

that we recorded together.

When I listen to it today it still gives me goosebumps.

Next time you listen to the song "Count Me Out."

When they say, "shed your past".

♪ Shed your past ♪

We definitely, a lot of us were saying, "Shit your pants."

I don't think Aaron Bedard was very happy about that, but,

maybe 20 years later he'll find it funny, I don't know.

The first two seven inches,

Aaron Dalbec just sort of self-released.

And then EVR, Equal Vision Records,

was willing to take a chance on us.

You know, they were gonna put out the E.P,

but also release a CD with all three E.Ps on it,

which is the "Holding This Moment" CD.

Equal Vision was in a house with a barn in the back

and the label was in the barn.

Almost every long weekend or tour,

we would roll into New York at three in the morning,

sleep in the barn,

and then Kate and Steve would have us,

and they would always go get us bagels and stuff

and we'd sit around the table and talk,

you know, about how things were going and eat bagels.

They were more than a band to me.

I felt like, I kind of knew them as individual people.

It was one of the best matches for a band and a label.

We've never had a single bad experience with them.

Whenever we talk, I was just trying to like,

be supportive.

Sounds cliche, but they weren't just our record label,

they were like, almost part of the band,

they were like a part of the family.

I was in a band called Close Call.

Ben was in the band at the time,

he was just gonna do "Ten Yard Fight,"

so, they knew they were in trouble, they needed a drummer,

so, Aaron called me up

and asked me to do the tour with them.

Before Nick, Bane was a side project.

You know, Bane did weekends,

we had never done a tour,

we had only put out a "Demo," and "Seven Inches."

Played when we could,

and then along came Nick,

we started touring, you know,

things started happening.

There are seven of us in the van,

and six of us have never done

anything like this before in our lives.

This is everything we've been hoping for.

That first tour, in the summer of '98,

we did three and half weeks with Saves the Day.

We drove across this country,

and our arrival on the West Coast was Portland, Oregon.

You could see the Pacific Ocean,

that up until that point in my life,

it might as well have been fucking Mars to me.

Like, I had never gone anywhere.

I remember standing there

and looking at the Pacific Ocean and thinking,

"Anything that happens after this, is extra credit."

Like we did it, my mother would be proud of me,

because of this music that we made.

We started playing to 25 kids a night,

50 kids was like an awesome show.

You know, maybe you got those spots

where there was a 100 kids, 200 kids, where it was like,

this is the greatest show of my whole life.

You're playing for a 100 bucks a night,

you know, 50 bucks a night.

Sometimes, you're not sleeping in hotels.

You have a sleeping bag and a pillow,

and hopefully there's a carpet in the house.

You learn how to kind of adapt to tour life,

sleeping on a floor, and eating $2 meals.

Aaron Dalbec had toured a couple of times.

Toured with Ten Yard Fight, he had already been to Europe,

and Converge had already done a couple of U.S things.

So, he was like the old vet,

and then he was 23 maybe at the time.

Anytime anything weird would happen,

we were like, "What do we do?"

And he is like, "just go do your laundry."

A year later, we did "It All Comes Down To This."

It was a big departure from "Holding This Moment."

It's like so out there and weird,

and like no one else sounds like that.

We were trying to do something ambitious,

and it failed.

It went a little crazy guitar-wise and,

recorded with a different guy.

We recorded with three seven inches,

all with Brian McTernan.

He was a hardcore kid that lived in Boston,

sang in a hardcore band named Battery,

and then for whatever reason,

when It was time to do the L.P.

Converge had just done a tour with, Today Is the Day,

and Steve Austin really wanted to do the record.

So, we went in there and we recorded

like a six song demo in like eight hours.

And it sounded awesome,

comparatively it was great.

So we did the record with him.

Maybe we were just young and kind of naive, but like,

We just didn't have that direction

that Brian McTernan brought to the table.

It was before I was confident enough

to say anything in the recordings,

as far as trying to direct people.

He just really let us do whatever the fuck we wanted to,

and that was not good for us.

There's nobody there

that knows how this record is supposed to sound,

knows what a good vocal performance is

from a bad vocal performance,

I have no fucking idea what I'm doing,

I'm just screaming.

We were all pretty disheartened by it.

♪ Calling you out ♪

♪ For ♪

♪ The last time ♪

♪ Come show your face ♪

We ended up with this record, that sounds,

in my opinion, tragic.

It all comes down to this is one of the worst

sounding hardcore records in history,

but some people love it.

When anyone tells me that that's their Bane record,

that they love that Bane record.

I think it's a real testament to,

this music can be loved even if it doesn't sound good.

That, if the lyrics or the attitude is there,

you will find a way to love these records.

If it hits you at the right time,

the right place,

the right age.

We can't be mad at that record because,

"Can We Start Again" came out of that record,

and we owe this whole career to that song.

♪ Can we start again ♪

♪ Go back to what it meant back then ♪

♪ Open minds and open hearts ♪

♪ The things that set us apart ♪

That was like the first time that we played a show,

and it was crazy for "Can We Start Again."

I was at the show with Steve,

and Steve turned to me and he was like,

"Do you think all these kids bought the record?

"How's everybody know the words like this, it's crazy."

When you catch Bane, on the right night,

with the right crowd,

in the right venue,

and you just see the ultimate connection,

between band and crowd,

and that perfect positive energy.

When you see that, goosebumps.

"Can We Start Again" was like the song that really

made us realize that this was bigger

than we thought it would ever be.

That was the first time,

I realized Bane wasn't this new England local band,

they were this big hardcore band.

I tried never to take for granted,

or to never lose track of the fact that while we really,

failed or stumbled upon a miracle here.

That not every band gets to have one of those.

Can we start again.

Go back to what it meant back then.

Everyone.

Open minds and open hearts

The things that set us apart.

Yeah

♪ Can we start again ♪

♪ Go back to what it meant back then ♪

♪ Open minds and open hearts ♪

We played a free show at the Nile Theater

in Mesa, Arizona.

Michelle who does...

I think she's done all of our shows in the Phoenix area,

from the very beginning pretty much.

She briefly mentioned it to me

of the idea of doing a free show.

And we were like, "Why?"

And she's like,

I didn't want money to be an excuse

for kids not to come out

and either see them for the last time,

or see them for the first time.

Well, that's the venue

that we are always playing in Arizona,

but we always play in the basement,

to maybe 120 to 200 kids.

When we put it up as a free show, it was huge.

It was by far the biggest Arizona show we've ever played.

I feel that they've been really influential in my life,

and in hardcore,

and they deserve a proper send-off.

♪ This is a promise ♪

♪ I made to you ♪

♪ I'll be right there ♪

♪ I'll be right next to you ♪

We were leaving from San Antonio to Houston

with a bunch of our friends, The Perez Family.

It's like ten of them.

Mom and dad and all their kids,

who've come out to all of our Texas shows forever.

They told us there was supposed be some crazy rain storm.

Houston got 12 inches of rain within like four hours.

A lot of the city had been shut down.

A lot of the highways were shut down.

We weren't even sure we were gonna make the show.

At about two o'clock, we got a call saying,

"Venue has got power, venue is open."

You know, there's not much that's gonna stop us

from playing a show.

Thank you very, very much

for being here tonight, this is cool.

♪ This is my therapy ♪

♪ You breath life into me ♪

♪ My only sanity ♪

♪ Within these walls is where I'm free ♪

♪ This is my therapy ♪

♪ You breath life into me ♪

♪ My only sanity ♪

♪ Within these walls is where I'm free ♪

We played two nights in Chicago.

Both nights were real, real cool.

There were no problems.

The vibe was right in there.

Just the crowd was so on 10,

and there was so many stage dives,

and it felt like we were really on fire.

No matter where I've moved to, whether it was Colorado,

Seattle, New York, Chicago, like, Bane was always there

in a weird sick kind of touring band way,

and then now, it's like that will no longer be there,

and it's kind of a weird feeling.

As each show ends, it's closer,

and it hits a little bit harder.

The vibe's alright, in the van the morale's alright,

which is even better than usual.

We're having a really nice time,

it's been an incredible tour.

See me again in a few days, though that story could change.

This is a really, really insanely great tour,

maybe the best tour,

but it's also the worst tour, 'cause it's the last.

No matter how old you are,

no matter how many years pass,

or how much your parents,

or your boss,

or your peers

think that you should be doing something with your life,

other than this,

if this is what you feel in your heart,

then this is where you belong.

We did a tour with Adamantium and Death by Stereo,

L.A bands that were super tight on the same label.

I did release the Bane split "Seven Inch" with Adamantium,

on Indecision Records.

We were doing a Death by Stereo and Ensign One.

And Death by Stereo and Adamantium,

we were planning on booking a summer tour.

Dalbec suggested that Bane do one of these splits.

I was excited, I didn't ask

'cause I figured like there's just no way.

And he came up with the idea, let's do it even better,

what if Death by Stereo, Adamantium, and us

all went on tour together?

That may have been one of the most eye-opening/

fun tours we had done to that point.

We didn't know anybody in the bands.

Day two or three, was like,

clique, best friends,

and it was just one of those tours where

we just rolled together everywhere.

We slept in the same places, those fucking poor kids,

whatever house we got in,

18 dudes, sleeping in the same house.

You weren't gonna get us apart from each other,

it was so much fun.

Driving down the highway in Colorado,

with Dave Itow hanging out the window,

shooting bottle rockets, mortars, fucking Roman candles,

at us in our van,

and me hanging out of my van shooting them back.

And it was like that everyday.

Were like, "Hey, let's pull over and jump off this bridge."

Me and the bass player for Adamantium Schwartz,

if we see water, we're gonna jump in it.

It's probably like 15, 20 feet.

But we don't even know how deep this is,

we just start throwing rocks to see,

and then just one of us jumped in.

Any last words?

Fuck you guys.

And then everybody just started pitching off.

And it became like an hour and a half,

of just jumping into this random river

on the side of the road.

I like that you threw rocks into the river

like that's gonna test the depth of the water.

Like you're gonna understand because it makes a ping.

Like, oh, that's deep enough to jump in off of a bridge.

I loved being insane with them always.

We would just plan things everyday.

Here we are, in beautiful Oklahoma.

Abort, abort mission,

Abort mission, abort mission.

we're being chased away by that lady.

Finding like waterfalls to jump off,

or like

oh, there's a firework place.

Let's not get a hotel,

but let's spend a $100

on the craziest fucking firework ever.

On the very last night in Austin,

we met some random homeless dude on the street

who was playing Poison,

"Every Rose Has Its Thorn" on his guitar,

and all of us got around

and started singing with him.

It's a great way to end a tour too.

Yeah, it is, it really was.

Final words on tour?

There is no words.

Time of my life, best time I ever had.

I can't believe this, this is what I do for a living,

it's is amazing.

We spent probably the best summer

of my entire life together.

Those guys are awesome,

and they smell horrible.

After that, we became a band

hungry for that sort of connection.

It was a really, just an important feature for Bane,

I think just to be in the van.

This is like a huge part of their existence.

Bane was always a band to me,

that just broke every rule

and did super unique things,

and "Give Blood" is such a good example of that.

As soon as it starts, that first note,

you're just like, I wanna be a part of this.

♪ Fuck yeah ♪

♪ I am still holding on ♪

We wrote such a crazy record,

when we did "It All Comes Down To This,"

that I think we just looked at each other and said,

We're gonna write two minute songs,

that punch you in the face.

You know, no movie samples, no meandering,

let's just hit them and get the fuck out of there.

And that's what we did.

The lyrics are all collaborative,

the music was all collaborative.

That was the first record

that we were all just like, this is us.

"Give Blood" came on the other side of all this touring,

of a lot of going and seeing the world,

and making amazing friends and,

we're getting great responses at shows,

and people were putting us up in their houses,

and unbelievable gestures of friendship and generosity.

We had Brian McTernan back.

I always felt like a huge part of my job was

to push the bands.

To see what it could be beyond

what they think that it could be.

It's so hard to get almost everything perfect.

That record is pretty damn close.

I think at that point Pete was doing graphic design.

For "Give Blood" he was like,

"You want me to try to design it?"

And we were like, "Yeah."

We knew it was going to be called "Give Blood"

before we started doing the layout.

I had this idea in my mind that I wanted it

to be a real scrapbook rather than photoshopped together.

I actually went out and took this picture.

This is actually me in here.

Set up a tripod and just carried guitars in front of the van

and tried to get the long exposure shot there.

Each person in that "Give Blood" layout,

had a spread,

and they sort of put that together.

It's falling apart now but,

I basically scanned everything.

When that came out, I remember like,

the internet was around then.

All these like, online zines were out

and just reading the reviews,

Bane's new record "Give Blood," five stars.

To me that's like, you know, that's Bane fully realized.

When that record came out, it was just like,

that's, you know, they kind of set a bar.

"Give Blood," kicks off with "Speechless,"

and I think stays pretty spirited throughout,

it's just like, fuck, being in a band is ill,

like, being on tour is cool, you know,

Ante Up is about that, "Ali vs Frazier."

Literally everything I've ever done was kind of based of

Give more, give everything, give Blood.

For some reason, me of like all the lyrics

that Aaron wrote,

if I wasn't in the band,

that would be the part I always tackle him

and grab the microphone.

♪ Give more ♪

♪ Give everything ♪

♪ Give blood ♪

To me that was like the first time,

the recording like, really captured their whole vibe.

I think that era, we were all kind of growing together.

Like, they were really like,

coming into their own as song writers and musicians,

and I had come a long way as an engineer and a producer.

That record has so much energy and character,

and was a really special, special experience for me.

And we toured on that for years,

before we even thought about doing the next record.

We were on a Hatebreed tour with Poison the Well,

and What Feeds The Fire.

That was like a monster tour.

Was kind of a rough start, we got stuck in snow storms,

our van got broken into,

and then we got to California,

and it was amazing,

and like everything started to fall into place,

and the show was really just crazy.

And we were heading back home.

We're in Oklahoma,

and in the middle of the night,

the phone rings, and you all kind of know.

We all wake and, and we're like, "That's not good."

It was the weirdest thing, I was like, "Hello?"

"Pete, it's Jeremy."

I'm like "Oh, hi, whats up?"

And he's like, "Steve died.

"There was an accident and Steve died."

Zach and I had been in a band with Steve,

Ink Cartridge Funeral.

And then I was in a band called Barrit with him,

that he sang for.

And I've been friends with him since I was 14 years old.

Eric was driving the car.

He said he swerved out of control,

and Steven's head hit a pole,

and he didn't make it.

I just couldn't...

It's just not real, it's still not real.

I just kept saying, "What?

"What are you talking about?"

I handed the phone to Zach.

And I said, "You need to talk with Jeremy."

And he just took it and,

we just packed up all of our stuff like, that instant,

and started driving home.

I didn't grow up with Steve, I liked Steve a lot,

but I was in a van with kids

who had known him since elementary school.

Who were his best friends.

I literally don't think that anyone spoke,

and it was just, you know, 30-hour drive or whatever.

I never again, and never in my life up to that point,

woke up and been like,

I think that was just a dream.

I thank God it was like some terrible nightmare.

And then I'd be like, "Where am I?"

And then, you know, it all happens in one second.

And it's not a nightmare, it's absolutely real,

and

it's been real ever since it happened.

If I didn't have my friends,

and if I didn't have Bane,

I don't think I...

I don't think I would've made it through that.

We were in Ink Cartridge Funeral with Steve,

that wasn't gonna continue without him.

Me, Nick Branigan, Nick Van Someren,

who was our guitar player in Ink Cartridge Funeral,

then Peter Chilton,

who we all just started this band.

The name "Silent Drive" just came from

how quiet that ride home from that tour was.

I think after that he had a lot to say

and a lot to write about.

I think he wanted to produce something as like a tribute.

A lot of that record is written about Steve and...

It's one of the most emotional things I've had to write.

♪ Off of faces ♪

♪ watching all of these times changing ♪

♪ The tears make mud on the ground ♪

♪ Kick them and think ♪

♪ It could've been different ♪

♪ This 4 16 you will hardly smile ♪

People say when you lose a friend,

or when you lose anybody,

that it gets easier over time, you know,

the pain will go away, whatever it is,

and maybe that's true in some cases,

but not this one.

Right after Chicago was Louisville.

The last time we were there,

the circumstances were so strange,

and that we played Krazy Fest,

like this outdoor stage with a barrier,

that was very sort of awkward.

And we played a house show that was amazing,

and then we played a strip club.

Fantasy's Island strip club,

which is an infamous Dane show,

and it was just an amazing night.

Most nights of this tour have been surprising

as far as the number of kids coming out,

even in places that we wouldn't rightfully expect that.

It sure felt good to play to a full room last night

and Team Skylar was in the house, that was real special.

Skylar was diagnosed with acute lymphoblastic leukemia.

It's blood cancer, she was diagnosed when she was four.

I just decided to make a stupid t-shirt,

and put it up on march swap,

sold over 60 t-shirts in under 24 hours.

And after I saw that, I decided hey,

"You know I've been booking years for 15 years,

"why not just start emailing booking agents?"

We've been raising money for

Riley children's hospital in Indianapolis.

And all the funds that we raise,

go directly to their research for oncology for the kids.

My first experience with Team Skylar

was actually on The Life & Death Tour,

I didn't know he was a Bane fan at the time,

I just saw the table and went over

and started talking to him.

Zach gave me his number,

and since then we've been in contact.

She's a five year old that changed my life, really quick.

She's going through the hardest time in the world,

and she makes me smile so much.

She really changed my outlook on life.

So Skylar is gonna be very mad at me right now,

because I think she's a little scared to stage dive.

So we will gently stage dive her,

we're gonna do it on the count of three, are you ready?

One, two, three.

Okay, bring her back, bring her back, bring her back.

Yeah, Skylar!

Thank God, on her way back she was smiling like crazy.

I can't really think of any other times

when someone that young gets to come out

and experience something like that.

Everybody give it up for Team Skylar.

To see the compassion

that those people have for Skylar,

the fun that Bane was able to give that family,

the amazing memories those kids were able to earn tonight,

it's pretty much what made tonight as special as it was.

I like it when a hardcore show

doesn't have such a macho vibe.

I don't think that Bane runs into that problem much anyway,

but it's just nice that it's the complete opposite,

like an actual like, family event,

which is like, it's a fun change of pace.

One day, I hope that they look back at these moments

and realize how incredibly special they are,

to be involved in such a beautiful scene.

This is a band that will always be

a very important part of my life.

And for me to be on this last tour with them,

I'm never gonna forget it.

We were doing a lot of touring

when we found out we were having Scout.

And I wanted to come up with a way to have

the years that I was gone,

the first two years of his life almost.

To have something that hopefully he can go back and be like,

"Oh, this is where dad was."

Ever since he was born,

I have worn one of these shirts, every single show.

Early on, Aaron Bedard and I,

we were having a heart-to-heart talk,

and I remember Aaron saying to me,

"Man, I really hope that Bane can really pull together

and tour as, and play shows as much as Trial does."

I wish I had the foresight to have said to him, you know,

"You go out for six weeks once a year, you can do this."

Little did I know,

they were gonna go out every six weeks...

Every six weeks for 20 years, right?

But I remember in that moment,

just sensing how much Aaron wanted this to work.

It takes a really special sort of breed of person

to thrive in that environment,

to be completely content, completely happy,

and to be able to sort of see it

almost as a gift at the end of the day,

you get this intense experience in a room

full of like-minded kids

who've come up with the same feeling in their heart

over this music and this energy

and this message and that you end your day

together, screaming and sweating,

and then you rinse, repeat,

do it again in some other town.

I know, I'm kind of made to be on the road, I feel like,

because I never got sick of it.

A lot of people get to that three week mark,

and they're like, "I'm fucking done."

If they ever got hard for me,

it was

at home situations that

you can't be home for.

We've had grand parents pass away on the tour,

friends pass away.

That's the hardest because you're so far away from home,

that you feel helpless,

'cause you can't get there fast enough.

Well, we're on the side of the highway right now,

and our fucking trailer just broke,

over the ball bearing or whatever on,

it just smashed so, we're waiting to get to the show now.

It's difficult touring on the level

that a hardcore band tours on, which is in a van.

You sit for six to eight hours a day.

You sleep where you end up sleeping, if you end up sleeping.

For someone like me, you get drunk way too much.

You eat shitty.

And that repeats day in and day out for,

you know, 30 days on an average tour.

And that's not for everybody.

In reality is like you're living with

four or five of your brothers, or siblings,

in a one room apartment.

I mean there's been times where we've almost

gotten in fist fights with each other, you know,

but it's also the best thing ever.

Sometimes you just stop.

Sometimes you just stop feeling it.

And sometimes you just don't know what to do,

or how to process it.

That's exactly what happened to me.

The touring juggernaut of Bane was never gonna stop.

I was feeling uncomfortable with how much time

and energy and identity Bane was taking up for me.

I felt creatively especially,

I was changing,

and Bane wasn't going to allow that much of me to unfold.

And it hit me really hard

at like an inopportune, very strange time.

It was harder on him than I realized.

We were in Montreal, we were on a tour with Terror,

and Most Precious Blood.

June of 2003.

We were just about to go on,

and Nick was like, "I need to talk to you guys."

Whenever a band member calls for a band meeting,

it's never ever a good thing.

Like it's never like, "I won the fucking lottery."

He immediately kind of broke down.

"I love you guys, but this isn't what I want to do anymore.

"I'm not 100% into it."

I think that was really hard for him, cause at the time,

we were all young, we were having fun,

and you know, we were living the hardcore dream life.

He was the first member to sort of buckle,

and that was scary.

We were all shocked by what happened.

I went like, "I can't believe I just fucking did that,"

and they were like,

"I can't fucking believe you just did that,"

and it was a mess.

It was at a time,

where it felt like things were really getting moving,

and we were really sort of getting comfortable

of being a bigger band who could headline tours

pretty much anywhere.

After we played and I was sitting outside with Pete,

and I was just like, "Is this it?

"Are we gonna be done?"

I was nervous, because I really got along with Nick.

You know, he's one of the funniest people I know.

Him leaving was like really hard for me.

Nick is "Give Blood," Nick is "Can We Start Again,"

Nick was there for kind of the main growing of the band.

I couldn't see past his drumming style,

I couldn't see that we would survive it.

We just couldn't imagine not being on the road with him.

More importantly,

I think we couldn't imagine not writing with him.

We were kind of in limbo for a while,

trying to figure out what we were gonna do.

Bedard was like,

"We don't need to break up because of this,"

and we were all kinda like, "Yeah, like, but who?"

That's when Bobby came in.

Just a positive dude,

I mean, they couldn't have gotten a better person

to fit in after Nick left.

Matt Pike was booking both Reach the Sky,

and booking Bane.

Reach the Sky ended in February of '03,

I think it was Matt that actually suggested,

"You know, hey, why don't you give Bob a call."

We knew he was kind of wild, but that he loved Bane,

and that the most important thing, is he knew the road.

He was gonna be able to jump in

and keep the pace that we were trying to keep.

He came to practice,

and I'm always like dreading that a drummer is gonna show up

and just not gonna know the half the song,

and I'm gonna have to sit there and like,

"Oh, then it goes like this, okay yeah,

"and then it goes like this."

That's like my nightmare, cause I'm lazy, you know.

I'm very picky about who I'm gonna vibe with,

who I'm gonna feel comfortable writing with especially.

First practice I remember banging out like three songs

in a row, pretty easily.

He knew everything.

The big difference between Bob and Nick playing drums,

is Nick is definitely a jazzier drummer.

Just the most unique drum style seriously

not like anyone else in hardcore.

And Bob is like a much more straight forward,

heavy-hitting drummer.

I remember all looking around the room,

being like, "Okay, well we got this part down."

This is it, this is our new drummer.

Man, you've been digging in the trash,

your lips are all white.

You can get a 20 out of some poor bustard there.

We were a lucky band,

we had this kind of dedicated fan base

that would follow us a little longer

than maybe they should have,

when it came to, not having new material.

Writing records for us wasn't hard,

but it was always easier to tour.

We toured, basically from 2003 to 2007.

We would, literally starting to feel

people's attention starting to waiver,

and realized, "Well fucking of course,

"we haven't put out a record in this long.

"We gotta write a record."

That was what spurred The Note.

♪ Today won't be like yesterday ♪

The guys were a lot more involved in the recording process

than they had been with "Give Blood."

How do I top a record like "Give Blood?"

That was on the back of my mind.

A lot of that record was written

from a pretty brave place of knowing that kids liked us,

and that we had been successful

as far as the things we stood for,

the things we had been outspoken about.

So, there are two songs on it,

one, "End With An Ellipsis"

and "Swan Song," which talks a little bit about

having to come to terms with this ending.

♪ I'll never love anything else ♪

♪ The way that I loved this ♪

Nick had left, Zack was married,

I think Bobby was either about to have a child,

or maybe he had already had a child,

Aaron Dalbec was married.

I was living in Baltimore.

I was starting to feel like

life could start to get in the way a little bit.

We were throwing out ideas for the name of that record.

Pete and I had sort of been cultivating this idea of

using a comic book artist

and it had to be this real visual thing.

That record got named based on

the story that we came up with for the layout.

The note was about this guy who finds this note,

and what is in this note drives him crazy,

and then because of that, all of these events take place.

A lot of the kids were like,

"The fuck is that goddamn layout about?

"I don't even get it."

And were like, "How do you not get it?

"It makes perfect sense."

But that's because we know what the note said.

And we don't ever tell anybody in that layout

what the note says.

They changed the lives people for the better.

They helped a lot of people through some really dark times.

And they've been this life raft for a number of people.

This is why we listen to this music,

'cause it takes us through what makes us think,

"Fuck man, this world is so goddamn cynical,"

and it makes it a beautiful place again.

And at one point or another, nothing lasts forever.

You have bandmates, and then you have like, best friends,

and Pete is one of my best friends.

He gave Bane the bass sound that

a lot of hardcore bands don't have.

Pete is very level-headed,

so, if there were ever times where I felt like,

we maybe losing it,

Pete was there to kind of make sure

that we held it together.

We toured a lot.

Basically I started getting burnt out a little bit.

I had gotten married.

I had been in Bane since I had known my wife,

so, it was always part of what I did, like as a job.

But I was burnt out,

just like, looking for part time work over and over again.

I had bought a house and you know,

you start to be a little bit of an adult,

and worry about money

and things like that.

So, in 2007 I told them that I was

gonna take a teaching position.

And that's when Stu came in.

I was in Reach the Sky.

So, we played a lot of shows together,

and did a couple of tours.

Bob and I's relationship goes back to high school.

There's a friendship and bond between him and I,

that I don't have with really anybody else in the band.

August of 2008, Bob called me

and was looking for someone to go to Canada for three weeks.

My wife was six months pregnant,

she was cool with it, so I went.

We practiced once.

My first show with the band,

was at a Skate Park in Syracuse.

We got there at about nine

and we were supposed to play at 9:30.

So we just kinda went in, threw all our stuff up,

threw merch out, got on the stage,

Bedard handed me a set list,

and it didn't have the full names of the songs on it.

I was looking at it, and I was going,

"Holy shit."

I don't know if, do I know, okay.

As soon as the first song started

we all started going crazy,

and kids went crazy and everything.

Next thing I know, it was over, and I was like,

"Oh, alright, that was cool."

He was only supposed to do half a tour and then fly home.

And then the first half was done,

he called his wife, and was like,

Hey, I know we're moving, but you know,

we hired movers, do you think I can stay?

Then she said sure.

It was so nice having him in the band,

because we had somebody else to step up and do

decision making kind of stuff.

Getting in the van with them, was kinda like,

it felt like going home.

You know what I mean, it was really comfortable.

The first year, it wasn't that hard,

and it didn't bother me that much at all,

but when they started going new places,

like South America, and the Philippines, and China,

and Russia, and all these other places,

I was like, oh.

I've always been impressed with

you know, they were like,

kind of the older dudes,

but they're so supportive

of all the younger bands around and on tour.

They would always have fill-in members

from other bands as well, younger guys.

Nate, from Cruel Hand

and Outbreak was playing drums for us

for a little bit when Bob couldn't tour.

Probably for a few years, I don't know how many tours,

a lot of tours.

All over the world, and the U.S.

Cruel Hand, where I played guitar in, would tour with them,

and then I'd end up filling in on guitar.

I think that's always important.

That's something that we've learned as well,

like, we always want to tour with younger bands,

and just be in the mix with that, like it's fun.

They hit me up.

I was exceptionally less expensive

than some of their other options.

Jay was like the new guy in town,

Jay had done some recordings that we really liked.

We had these six songs.

But we didn't want to just put an E.P out on one label.

I got a text message and it was just like,

"Hey, this is Bedard from Bane,

"would you be interested in doing

"a three song Bane seven inch?"

What, like, of course, like what?

Didn't think it was a reality at all, but we did.

I think it was seven different releases,

on five different labels.

Every cover of the seven inch was gonna be different.

Let's have photographers take a picture,

same time, different parts of the world.

And that's gonna be the cover,

and the inserts of these seven inches.

Boston, Dublin, Tokyo, Perth, LA, Rome,

and I don't know how to pronounce the one from Brazil.

You know like that was like,

what they were trying to say to everybody, you know,

Bane is world wide, like everybody is part of us.

I remember hitting up Bedard like,

"Yo man, why are these songs named after like, soap operas?"

The first song was "The Bold and the Beautiful."

Which was just named that

'cause I thought it was a cool name.

And the next song I wrote, I realized,

I can name this a soap opera name too.

So, here's what I'm gonna do,

I'm gonna write down every soap opera name,

and then I'm gonna just write these songs,

and then just draw lines to them,

to the ones that seemed to relate.

And it was really an exercise

of not having to come up with names for songs,

'cause I'm bad at that.

That's the actual truth there.

There are some great songs on those that didn't get...

Didn't seem to get much play at the end.

I forget which one is the dragon song as I know it.

I will believe in dragons, as long as I run with dragons.

♪ I will believe in dragons ♪

♪ For as long as I run with dragons ♪

A lot about friendship and stuff and like

here's what I will always carry with me, right?

And that's some...

Those are end notes kind of stuff.

♪ I took the whole damn ride ♪

♪ With my best friends by my side ♪

♪ And the days turned into nights and we ♪

♪ Held on with all our might ♪

We tried to do it in every continent.

Just so it would get out there.

But it just didn't,

it didn't take like we thought it was gonna.

I think just 'cause of the way that we released it,

there wasn't any hype around it.

I just think it became more of a collectors item,

than a listening item.

It was like, it was gonna be the fucking Wonka bar,

or like a revolutionary thing but,

no, we're not the Rolling Stones.

Stu had found he was expecting his second child.

At that point real life had really kicked in

and took over.

I left at the end of 2012.

Chris Linkovich from Cruel Hand,

jumps in and starts playing bass.

Probably 2013, things were going good for the band,

but it wasn't like the same as it had been.

We played a show at the Palladium in Worcester,

which is a place we've had some banging shows,

maybe a 150 kids come out, and it feels like

things are coming to an end for us.

Personally, like relationships started

to crumble too, around that time.

I'm in my 40's, physically it's getting harder.

We actually decided to have a meeting,

where we were all gonna get together,

and have a sit down

and decide what we were going to do next.

I remember having real sort of nervous feeling

in the pit of my stomach.

Some people in the band wanted to go full-time,

or not at all.

We decided then that we would write our last record,

and we made a bucket list

of all the stuff that we've wanted to do.

It's admirable to choose when you want to stop,

and not drive something into the ground.

But it's just like, like anything

like a death in the family that you see coming or whatever,

it's just like,

once it's real, there's definitely that sadness to it.

Link, had Cruel Hand obligations,

so he wasn't a part of writing the record,

or recording the record.

We fooled around with the idea of

you know, me or Dalbec playing bass on the record,

cause we didn't know if Pete was gonna want to write

or be on it.

And I was like, "Let's just ask him."

And I was like, "Yeah, of course."

I could really hear my sort of bass style

like, really fit well with

the newer stuff that they were writing,

so, I was excited.

We were rehearsing once a week, every week,

which was exactly how we did "Give Blood."

And there was just a real sense of, this is it.

This is the last time were gonna be doing things like this.

That was the very beginning of that sensation,

which would become so familiar for the next two years.

This is the funniest booking of my life,

Defeater and Bane were playing This Is Hardcore 2013,

I was hammered, day drunk, walking around,

just, like, having a good time, bumped into Zach.

"Hey, we wanna do our last L.P."

"Oh, wow, that's exciting."

"Yeah, so when are you free?"

"Oh. Uh."

Pulled out my phone, I was like,

"Well I've got this month."

"Okay, cool, like book it, how much?"

I came up with a price, thought it was very fair,

he was like, "Awesome, I'm excited."

"Yeah, yeah, I'm excited too."

And then, just walked away,

and was just like,

"I think I just booked Bane's last L.P?"

One of the most meaningful

and easiest bookings of my entire career.

We were off the road for a while,

so, we were all working full-time,

it was the winter,

so cold, late nights, in a cold dank practice space.

Writing-wise it was right at a time

where like the band was at its lowest.

We had to go do one tour in the autumn,

we had to go back to Europe with Power Trip.

It was some of the worst shows we had ever played.

Like, it was like kids were over it.

Like you could really feel the death rattle.

I remember having a talk with Bedard,

I was like, "Dude If you're gonna go out,

"go out, go out hard, like put everything out there."

If you're gonna say things, you've gotta say them now.

There's no telling that you're ever gonna have this

captive of an audience again.

Songs like "Final Backward Glance" were born of that and,

you know, the big one, was "Wrong Planet."

Every demon you thought was released on paper,

but the biggest one was still caged up up until

literally the second to last song ever written by that band.

There was a voice in my head saying maybe talk about

being sexually abused as a kid,

maybe you talk about the thing

that you can't talk about with anyone.

That song is called "Wrong planet."

Maybe the hardest song I've ever had to write.

It's about the incredible,

the insane amount of destruction

that can be reigned upon us, when we're children,

and don't understand anything

and don't understand what the fuck is going on,

by people who are supposed to be looking out for us.

And it took me a lot, a lot of years to realize

the lasting damage that it does.

That it echoes in you, all the way through your adulthood.

That was really confessing some stuff

and really bearing myself in a way that it was scary

and that people are never going to look at me

the same way again, you know, people are gonna have,

you know, they're gonna come up with

a lot of different notions about me now.

You know, I was at the age where I didn't need to fit in,

and I didn't really care

about people snickering behind my back,

or what weird jokes people were gonna make,

or whatever, you know I didn't...

That stuff wasn't gonna affect me the way it may have,

even 10 years before, never mind 20.

I never told anyone in Bane

that I had gone through that as a boy.

It was very seldom that they would say,

"Oh, you know can I read what you wrote?"

But this was different, this I needed to warn them

and to make sure that there wasn't gonna be a member

who would feel maybe uncomfortable

about singing about something so personal.

He had written the lyrics out,

I remember when he was like handing it around,

that his hand was like shaking.

You could tell he was nervous,

and that's weird, to see Aaron Bedard nervous.

I think there's really not much that

we don't know about each other, and you know.

For that to come out 15 plus years later, it's like, woah.

Obviously everyone was very supportive

and very proud of me,

and very sad for me.

If those lyrics changed, or help,

not even change, but like help one person cope

with something like that then,

that's all that matters.

♪ And if you look ♪

♪ You can see me ♪

♪ Grasping for a world ♪

♪ That makes some sense ♪

♪ Where through the dark ♪

♪ There waits the light ♪

That's one of those songs, that when they played that,

like, it was hard not to cry.

And watching, just through this glass right here.

Watching Aaron sing that and know what it's about,

and being able to relate myself.

Like everything he's saying,

I mean that's like, from my life too.

Once the song was done, and we fit it to music,

things...

Everything after that felt easier.

The fact that he put pen to paper and he just let it out,

like, I know that feeling of relief,

and I can't imagine how relieved he felt

once that song was written.

And then there was "Calling Hours."

"Calling Hours" was really like, Zach's baby.

He wanted to bring in some other energies vocally,

That is very common in hardcore,

to do something that we had never done.

So, he told me he wanted to have Dave,

and Walter, and Reba on it.

And said like "Hey, I would love to have you on this."

I was like, "that's totally incredible and awesome."

And then he said,

"I want you folks to like, write your own lyrics."

You put me on a track with those people,

I'm just like, "Fuck man,"

and I gotta write my own fucking lines?

Great, pressure's on.

Now we have to write this song.

Now we have to figure out how to do this.

Zack hadn't really written his song yet.

You know, his farewell to Bane.

That song was so sad

that I didn't think it was gonna be a Bane song

when I originally wrote the guitar parts to it.

I was scared, I was like,

"This is probably too emotional for us

"and too slow, and whatever."

Should this be the song that we have all these sort of

hardcore super stars be a guest on,

this very sort of unconventional hardcore song?

I don't think that the other vocalists in that song

expected that kind of song to come their way.

Pat would come by, and he had mentioned

that he wanted to work with us on a song.

This is a really cool chance for us to have a new voice,

in to our little circle.

They would decide to announce they were breaking up

before the record came out.

If that was public knowledge,

and it's such a structured public death,

than why not maybe have a song

that is kind of like an actual "Calling Hours", like a wake?

Wally and Pat are great friends,

we've been great friends for years.

And David Wood from

Down to Nothing and I are really, really good friends.

I'll give him the verse with me,

and Zach would handle the end with Reba.

So, everyone is sort of paired off with a partner

and all set out to do our respective parts.

I didn't like the thought of me having to write something

about letting someone go,

when the whole time, this band has told you to

hold on to everything as long as you can.

It wasn't that I was sad to let go, I was more angry.

'Cause it's easier to be angry than to be sad and understand

why people have to go.

♪ You told me to give everything ♪

♪ And now your tired ♪

♪ Well let's get loud ♪

♪ And go out with open fire ♪

Bane always took me to hard and dark places

in my life that I think human beings

need to go to, to like confront.

I decided to kind of confront some issues in my own life

with the loss of my father.

♪ Are our fathers forever still ♪

♪ Will our mothers only weep ♪

♪ Does the dream of yesterday ♪

♪ Come true from a prayer ♪

♪ On our knees ♪

Bedard had sent me the lyrics to the song

and I kinda tried to really get into his head

and understand what it was about.

And then just kind of tried to see through his eyes

and write what I would think, you know,

would be like my way of looking at what he was saying.

When those do pass, or that band does break up

or whatever, you've learned so much from them,

it's like they never really leave,

and you always have them with you.

That was really cool for me to be able

to be part of that song for that reason.

We were in the studio, songs were written,

lyrics were done for other songs

and this song was still being created.

At some points it was like,

"This is just gonna fall apart."

Wally had to do his part in California,

Reba had to do her part in Pittsburgh,

David did his part down in Richmond.

Reba's part, was the last part.

That was a huge day, we really felt like

you know, that was the record being done

was when "Calling Hours" finally came together

after weeks and weeks of tweaking it,

and waiting for other people to come through.

And they all did, everyone came through.

When we play it live,

it's just as emotional as when I sat there and wrote it.

♪ Forget the who, the what, the when, the where, the why ♪

♪ Deep down inside I know I tried ♪

♪ Did you love something ♪

♪ With all of your might ♪

One of the proudest moments was

the end result of "Don't Wait Up."

The pressure we put on ourselves to make

what we knew was our final record, amplified it.

It was really meaningful to me,

to be able to be a part of that.

And, like having actually exceptionally intelligent,

well educated conversations, about a hardcore record.

About like, making a hardcore record the best it can be,

and like really sealing off this legacy.

Dan McCarthy is

the guy that drew the cover of "Don't Wait Up."

I think it's perfect.

We wanted a sad feeling, that's what we got.

This is "Don't Wait Up" 'cause we're not coming home.

♪ This is my final ♪

♪ Backward glance ♪

When "Don't Wait Up" came out,

it was number 86 on billboard top 200,

and number 17 on Independent Albums, the first week.

That's pretty amazing to have a record plaque,

saying you were in the Billboard Top 200.

If it was like 30 years ago,

we'd be in my mansion right now.

But since kids don't buy records anymore,

we're in my two bed room apartment.

So we recorded "Don't Wait Up,"

knowing that Pete was never going to tour with us.

And thank God, we got James Siboni who...

James was in a band called Casey Jones,

and we had toured with them over in Europe.

Young, talented, down to earth, funny, loved to hang,

great stage presence, solid bass player.

As a drummer, you always look for that solid rhythm section.

You know, I say that everyone is like the sweetest guy,

but James is like,

really the sweetest guy in the whole world.

Zack had posted something on Instagram,

or I guess probably Facebook.

That they were doing some East Coast shows.

I thought, cool, I'm gonna ask if I can roll with them,

and just hangout in the van,

and do merch, whatever they need me to do, just hanging out.

So, I texted Bedard and I said,

"Yo, I'm gonna try and roll with you guys

"to those east coast dates."

He said, "So, what's up man?

"Hows life?"

I thought that was the strangest text message.

And I said, "I don't know man, life's fine."

You know, I'm like, "I got this girl, and this house."

"I don't want to fuck up the things that you have going on,

"but I just wanted you to know that

"you are on the short list."

"What the fuck are you talking about?

"The short list for what?"

Well, "Bane needs a new bass player."

"Yo, motherfucker, keep me on that list!

"I wanna be on that list!"

"If you want it, you can have it,

"I'm placing this in your lap.

"I'm throwing the list away, if you want this gig.

"It sounds like life is so good right now,

"I don't wanna mess that up."

"Let me be the judge of that, I want to join Bane!"

He said "I don't know man.

"I want you to think about it,

I want you to think about it like a week or something."

This is all via text, this isn't even a phone call.

It's like a text, and I'm like, kind of like, losing my mind.

"I don't need to think about it for a week Bedard!

"I'm telling you yes right now!"

And he said, "No, no, no, no.

"Think about it for a week."

And I said, "okay."

That week, I just started learning Bane songs.

I just was like, I'm doing this now,

and there's no turning back, I don't care what they say.

And then a week goes by, and he texts me,

and he says "So, what did you decide?"

And I was like, "I'm down!"

And he said, "Aw, I thank God, dude.

"That's what I've been stressing out about it!

"I've been wondering, are you gonna be down?"

I was like, "I'm so happy to hear you say you're down!"

And I was like, "It was never an issue.

"I didn't think about it."

And I said yeah, and I learned these songs.

And he said, "Oh shit, perfect."

I joined Bane in 2014.

I did everything for "Don't wait Up."

We went to Japan, to Australia,

to Europe, I think two or maybe three times.

Did a U.S release of it,

a few fests here and there, of another tour,

and then the final tour so, I did a good amount.

We had a really busy last few years.

Yesterday in Baltimore, it was like,

"Okay, I'm gonna book these hotels for Philly."

And then it was like,

"These are the last hotels I'm ever booking,

"for Bane to sleep ever."

For some reason that hit me really hard.

It became a reality

just by some little stupid thing like that, you know.

Like, really feeling like the end is coming.

And I'm scared of it, but,

I've been preparing myself for a long time now, so.

It's the second and third to last shows of this tour,

in Philly, at the Unitarian Church.

That's a special room for us.

That church, we've been going to that church

for a lot of years.

It is a Unitarian church,

so, there's no Jesus and disciples,

but like, for our scene, it's Mecca, it's our place.

Philly has almost been Bane's second home

but, it's almost felt like Bane's first home

for the last five years especially.

Philadelphia, we're Bane, let's fucking do this.

I decided to crowd walk, I guess you could say,

and then there was a giant fall where I fell backwards,

and I specifically remember while I was falling, going,

"Wow, this is a long fall, this is gonna hurt,"

and then I landed on the edge of the monitor.

But it didn't seem to hurt at the time,

but it hurts really bad now.

Everybody's eyes and heart were on that stage,

and that was something special.

Whenever the crowd connects to us,

and we connect to the crowd,

it's like, the most special to me.

And last night it had a lot of those moments.

♪ When Armageddon's ♪

♪ Been locked and loaded ♪

♪ I will come back for you ♪

♪ I will come back for you ♪

So, we are at the last Philadelphia Bane appearance.

So, for me tonight, I say goodbye to friends.

I say to guys who came into this,

like, "Oh, this is Joe and he's a little fucking crazy,"

and now we're friends, we get excited,

they know the hijinx, we set up for their shows.

We look forward to these specific shows because,

these guys played many shows,

they've fucking, toured the goddamned world,

they've probably played in canoes off of Maui somewhere.

But Philadelphia is special for them,

and Bane is special for me,

and I don't know if I have another band,

despite the 20 years of me booking shows,

despite the 10 years of this is hardcore,

I don't have another fucking band to look forward to

like I do with Bane, and I'm sad.

That's it, I love you guys.

Our relationship with this city would not exist

if it wasn't for his hard work,

this first song is dedicated to Joe.

It's called "Superhero."

All the friends that we have there,

and the friends that came down from Massachusetts.

Everybody wanted to be there,

but for me, it was like everybody needed to be there,

you know.

Almost like, I need their support system

at the end of this run.

3/4 of the members that had ever been in Bane

were there last night.

Our original bass player, Pete Chilton,

and then the dude that took his place, Stu was there,

they all got up and played songs over the weekend.

♪ This is the final ♪

♪ Backward glance ♪

♪ This is the final ♪

♪ Backward glance ♪

I kinda had to recognize for the first time,

that this is the end of Bane.

Really put some things together that

I didn't wanna come face to face with,

and it's...

It's weird.

I think that was the hardest show

of the whole tour for me.

Our friend, Justin Naidoo was right up front

the whole time singing, and for some reason that,

that got me on the last song.

I Kinda broke down on stage but,

it's a good thing I can say I'm glad we're sad

instead of happy to be done.

Philadelphia.

Thank you, thank you.

We have been Bane.

And here we are, two years later,

that went by in a blink of an eye.

I never ever had time to get that strong,

to get that brave.

Even when I crawled in the van back at the end of march

to do this tour, I thought it would eventually kick in,

it would eventually hit me that this is really it.

We're at Webster hall, at the final show of the

final, final, final, final Bane tour.

It's pretty surreal to finally be at the end.

Checked out of a hotel this morning, something we've done

thousands and thousands of times,

and we will never do it under those circumstances again,

you know, it will never be us guys,

and that's fucking me up a little bit.

I was parking the van before the show,

when we had to move the van and I like,

slightly bumped this other car,

and like the cops came and all this stuff.

And we we're going on like 20 minutes.

Big Bob comes running by,

and hands me my keys, and was like,

"You gotta go to the show now, I'll figure this out,"

and I was like, "Why the fuck do you have my keys?"

And then it clicked,

holy shit, Jennifer is here with Scout.

I mean it was such an amazing surprise,

I mean it was only like 4 and a 1/2 weeks,

or whatever it was, but it seemed like

an eternity at the same time.

Standing inside Webster Hall,

and I just like, look out at this empty hall,

and then my friend Ricky from Backtrack comes up,

and were just kind of talking and shooting the shit,

then I hear this, what I thought was an asshole whistling.

I gave him a big whistle,

and he didn't catch it at first and then I whistled again,

and then he turned and looked at me.

I was just like, "That's my dad,"

like, "Oh my God."

He didn't know I was coming.

I just went up and hugged and started crying immediately.

He was at my first show ever, so he felt like

he just kinda had to be at my last show.

So, in those moments you like, you know,

when you're so sad,

and like kind of just confused in life,

and it's like you want your dad or your mom to be there,

and for me to just turn around and all of a sudden

have him be there was, insanely special to me.

Trying to be in the moment, trying to be present for this,

trying not to let the emotions

what, you know, tear me apart.

This is a heavy night but we wanna try and make it fun,

we want everyone to come in here, sing dance,

get loose with us, let's just turn this into a party

and we will mourn later.

Thank you very, very, very much for being here tonight.

This first song is called "Speechless."

♪ Fuck yeah I am still holding on ♪

I'm a little bent out of shape at them, you know,

I don't want them to go away,

I mean, I get it, 20 years is a long time,

and there's only so long you can do this.

I wish I had some sort of profound

or articulate things to say about dealing with endings,

dealing with change, dealing with saying goodbye.

I really know that I should be better at that stuff,

and I'm not, I have a lot of problems

when it comes to change or letting go

of the things I love the most.

And I've never loved anything else,

there's nothing in my life I loved

as much as being in this band.

New York city,

let's go.

♪ I can still see the reasons ♪

♪ That I opened my eye to this scene in the first place ♪

♪ I can feel my beliefs growing stronger ♪

♪ Stronger everyday ♪

New York, thank you so fucking much.

When you start a band,

at first it's a very fun, and almost organic.

Like, you write these songs,

you don't really care about structure,

and then through time you kinda see yourself

become musicians somehow.

Not on purpose but just 'cause you just wanna

be a better version of yourself,

so, you do that with your band.

It's something you fall in love with.

Love becomes this infatuation with your band,

and then you become addicted to it.

This isn't necessarily a relationship

with the people in your band,

this is a relationship with the energy and the time

and the sacrifices you made.

I go back and forth between regret,

like, sort of wishing that we had made a different decision

so that we could still be a band.

I was woefully unprepared for how hard it was gonna be

to have that sense of purpose lifted.

I think when the band decided to break up,

it felt right probably.

And then as time went on,

and we really, really were so connected,

and everyone was on the same page,

and the shows leading up to the end were so good,

and the response to the final record was good,

I think that it was just kind of a mistake,

I really do, I honestly think that Bane breaking up

when we did was a mistake.

I go up there and give it my all with four other people

that give it their all, every single night

and I'm real worried

that I'm never gonna find that again.

I can't really even remember what my relationship was

to the world, and my free time,

and sort of my sense of place

in the world before Bane.

Bane has been my life for 21 years, you know like,

it's been all I've known really.

I mean, it's the only constant that I've had.

I wish I could write two more years,

I wish we would have wrote a longer story for an ending,

'cause this ending sucks.

Years ago when we said well be done, you know,

approximately this time, it seemed forever away.

We were like, "Yeah, it's in three years, two, three years.

"That's a long time."

We're here

Masterman's, this is kind of the team

that's been behind a lot of the Bane screen printing.

I used to do a lot of this for Bane

out of my dad's garage,

and it would take me forever to do it.

This is actually the final shirt

that they're doing right now.

It's exclusive to the final show.

We're the worst band in the world to work with

as far as getting everything to them the last minute,

so, I think I've got them all the final stuff

like maybe a week ago.

And then it comes out the other end,

the back,

and the front.

That's all she wrote.

I tried to get the final show

at the House of Blues in Boston,

with, you know, no barricade.

Got pretty far up the chain,

got there before it was squished.

I tried to help facilitate a different venue,

like maybe a skating rink, or a hall,

or somewhere else to try to accommodate

two to 3000 people,

which in the city of Boston is really hard to find.

There was a little voice inside of me that knew

it's gonna be right fucking here in Worcester,

at the Palladium.

When we announced the final show in June,

it sold in something like three hours.

And it just felt like we gotta do another if we can,

and when the Palladium stepped forward and said,

we can give you the day before,

So we were thinking that we'd do something

kind of fun tonight,

and start this set with the first song that we ever wrote,

the first song on our demo tape,

and then play straight through till the last song

from "Don't Wait Up."

This song is called "Lay The Blame."

I think the thing about hardcore music,

is that it actually does what all the great meditation

traditions try to do.

Is they try to take people into a space

where they're completely in the moment.

And they're totally free of thought

of anything else happening anywhere else,

and I feel like Bane did that really well.

It was okay on Friday, you were able to deal with it,

'cause it's not the end yet.

So, that made it a little bit easier,

I'm glad there was two shows.

Are you sad to see Bane go?

Yes kind of, but the part of it I'm also happy

because it's gonna be my dad not going away as much anymore.

I came with a group from Germany.

I took all my money and come to U.S.

It's been a hard flight to be honest.

'Cause you know that it's the last time

that you're coming over here for this,

and it's the last time that you're gonna

be with all those people in the same place.

It means everything to me,

so, I just want to be part of the last show of Bane.

I kinda want the power in the building to go out,

'cause I'm definitely not ready to say goodbye.

It's gonna be an emotional night for a lot of us.

This is a day I've been day dreaming about

on different levels.

Staring out the window of the van

trying to imagine what this is gonna feel like.

I'm having a hard time looking my band members in the eye

'cause I feel really right on the cusp

of just falling apart,

or of doing something desperate like running away.

Surrounded with friends, people who care about me.

That are gonna care about me tomorrow

as much as they cared about me yesterday.

I have to keep that in mind.

It's a beautiful thing and also a sad thing.

It's not just one band that sings about shoes,

well, they do sing about shoes sometimes but, you know.

Nine, 10, 11, 12, 13, 14 songs.

I have no problem adding two more

and then saying two for an encore.

It's the last show, just do everything you can.

Seriously

I mean, as ridiculous as it sounds, that's 19 right there,

and if we can add In Pieces and three short songs,

yes, that's 23 songs, but the short songs are like one song.

Let's just fucking, like he said fucking.

What are you holding back for?

That feels like,

you just don't want to be up there for too long.

- It's your last night, - This is thee show.

At the Web I didn't want it to end.

I literally was like, I would have played five more songs

at the Webster, so let's do it all. Okay?

Let's just do it all.

We have like a 24 song set list tonight.

I'm hoping we hate each other by the end of the set list.

But I've been hoping that for three years now,

and it hasn't happened yet, so.

What's up everyone?

So, I'm afraid that we're gonna have to start this

on a bit of somber note,

or maybe we can look at it as something to put

this whole deal into bit of perspective.

In the week leading up to the final shows,

James' mother became sick.

And she kind of down played it.

And I was like, "Is it something serious going on?"

She said, "No no, I don't think so."

And the next day she called me

and she said, "Hey, can you come over and talk?"

This may have been a day or two days

before we were leaving for Costa Rica.

I drove to her house, and she's like,

"The doctor told me I have cancer, and it's serious.

"And it's the kind of cancer that doesn't

"have a great survival rate."

So, of course that's a nightmare, you know.

And I was like, "Okay, well what do we do now?"

you know, and she's like, "Well we do chemo or whatever,

"and we just do our best, we just struggle through it."

I was just gonna live in the hospital,

literally, just like sleeping there.

So, I called Zach from the hospital I remember,

and I was like, "Hey man,

"I don't think I'm gonna go to Costa Rica"

And this was like literally like really last minute.

And then while they were there, in Costa Rica, my Mom died.

It was the fastest thing ever.

She was diagnosed with cancer on Tuesday

and not even a week later, she was gone.

I called Zach and I called Bedard,

the day she died, sitting in the hallway of the hospital,

crying on the phone,

Bedard who's crying in the other end from Costa Rica.

No one in the band knows this, or knew this,

but I had decided I wasn't gonna do the final show.

It just wasn't gonna work you know,

we had a funeral to plan,

we had a lot of stuff to organize.

So, my Mom's brothers and sisters were around a little bit.

They all like freaked out on me like,

"You gotta fucking go and do your thing.

"You're gonna go to Massachusetts,

"You're gonna play those shows with your band,

"that's important, it's what your Mom would've wanted,

"there's no way she would have stopped you from that,

"no matter what happened."

And I knew they were right.

I totally agreed she was really supportive always of

music stuff, and she loved Bane.

I think it was good for me emotionally

to get kind of shoved into talking with my friends,

and being around my friends.

And I got to pour some shit out on

and they were there to listen to me pour some shit out.

I need to dedicate this entire set,

to our bass player James Siboni's mother, Twink Wilson,

who passed away on Monday.

James needed to be here to do this.

He needed to be here with all of us.

This entire set goes out to her memory,

and I'd like to ask

if we could have moment of silence for her,

and then let's set this off.

Felt respectful, it felt appropriate.

You know, when you're in mourning,

and had a loss, I had a loss like that,

you wanna be around your friends, you know.

And all of my friends, you know, 2000 of them,

are all in the same place.

If I hadn't done the last shows with Bane,

God, I think that would be the biggest regret ever.

Can we

Start again

Everyone.

Go back to what it meant back then

Can I be.

Open minds and open hearts

The things that set us apart

♪ Can we ♪

♪ Start again ♪

You know, my favorite shows, no matter what the venue,

no matter what the size of the shows,

well, there were kids on all sides of the stage.

Or there are kids, you know, just bam, behind the drums

where everywhere I look, I'm fucking singing to someone.

To see the Palladium filled up like that,

is like a rare thing, for a hardcore show especially.

I look up, and the fifty people on stage,

I know every face,

and I've seen every face a thousand times.

And I've got people that have jumped on me

a thousand times jumping on me.

It was a very positive vibe in there,

and just seeing the stage,

being, you know, filled with people and family and friends.

It was definitely hitting home that

this is gonna be the last time,

well that songs gone, that songs gone.

I've never been to a hardcore show

like that my entire life.

I've never seen a band have so many songs

that people lost their mind for.

I can't say anything has ever touched me emotionally

or at the scope of what that last Bane show was.

I ran out of steam.

You know, I just couldn't keep up.

There's only so many stage dives you can get in

in that time, I needed more water I think.

When I got to the show, Zack said

"You should play "Count Me Out" with us."

I hadn't been in the band really since 1998

so, that was a special moment for me.

As an adult looking back at what was sort of the beauty

and the magic of what hardcore was about,

was really that there was this incredible sense of community

and that has never left us.

And I feel like they were able to inspire

more of that within the scene.

There were 2,500 people in that room.

For me one of the proudest thing is that Bane became

a unifier of so many good people.

They're leaving their legacy of the music

and the people they met, the friendships they made,

and all the bands they toured with.

But it's really about family.

That's the legacy they have built this gigantic family

of people that I wish I could see everyday.

Even just you know going to shows

and meeting friends from out of town and stuff.

That stuff goes with you for life.

The hours and the miles and the time spent seeing them,

hanging out with them,

you know, those things are indispensable.

They've taught me things in crowded rooms that

teachers have never taught me,

that coaches have never taught me.

Take them out of the equation,

I wouldn't be here.

I don't think anyone could ever they do what they did,

the way they did it.

But I think they definitely taught us all

how to be in a band, and be a good person,

and do it for the right reasons, you know.

Bane will live forever because of the impact

they've made on all of us, all of us

damn kids who couldn't find home,

and couldn't find a place to go,

and then they stumbled into a hardcore scene

and then they stumbled onto Bane,

we're all better because of it.

In between the tornadoes

and stomped on untrue love letters,

there will be those shining, gentle moments,

like the last page in your favorite book.

Thank you for bringing all of this into my life

and for giving me all of these shining gently moments

that I've had for these past 20 years.

- Thank you. - Thank you.

- Thank you. - Thank you so fucking much.

Thank you.

Thank you,

Thank you.

Thank you for the 18 years of friendship.

- Thank you, - Thank you.

Thank you.

Thank you for fucking being the raddest dudes ever.

- Thank you. - Thank you.

Thank you.

Thank you for making me the person I am

whether you know it or not.

- Thank you. - Thank you.

Thank you guys.

Thank you for everything.

Thank you Bane

Thank you Bane.

Thank you Bane.

Thank you Bane.

Kids think that we are this band that moves them,

and are a big part in their lives,

but they don't understand that we are just as moved by them

and that they are just as important

if not more important to us than we are to them.

Seeing them in the beginning and seeing them in the end,

I mean, they've just stayed true to what they wanted to do

and what it meant to each other.

They are this ecliptic group of guys,

that somehow found each other

and decided to play music with each other,

and they've loved it, every minute of it.

It was never a chore to them,

it was never like, it was their job,

but it was a job they loved.

And they respected and realized

how fortunate they were to do that.

And how fortunate they were to have people care about them.

And they realized that this is lightening in a bottle,

and it can go away,

and they held onto it.

Do it.

Do it.

Do it.

- Do it. - Watch out.

We had a cookout the next day,

two days after that, we all went to a baseball game.

I was looking at Bobby and Zach

from across a few rows of the baseball stadium,

I felt really sad, I felt

those are guys I used to be in a band with.

That was sort of the great catalyst to the grand plan,

of "Don't Wait Up", two years of touring,

and then one final show.

There were members of the band that weren't looking

to have that conversation at all.

That were just maybe needing it to be understood

that we should slow down a little,

and maybe not say yes to every tour,

and that some guys had some great responsibilities,

and I was terribly stubborn.

I was really either we do it or we don't.

I'm either in this band, or I'm not.

And there are days now where I think of that guy

and I kinda want to smack him upside the head because,

I have reoccurring dreams all the time that Bane has a show,

that there's a show coming up, and the feeling of that is,

of waking up from that is really hard.

It's gonna be interesting to see how...

How we function without it in our lives.

It still hasn't quite a 100% sunk in yet.

You know, but, I'm just gonna miss the whole thing,

everybody, everything.

I miss us being in the van.

I miss leaving at Denny's at four in the morning

about to start a 12-hour overnight drive.

Knowing we're in this van with

four other people you love the most.

They helped me through the darkest times of my life,

and I get to share the best times of my life with them.

The absolute, absolute pinnacles.

Every high point that just was way up there in the red

was because of them.

I'll love them forever because of that.

I think in the end, Bane was everything that

I wanted a hardcore band to be,

and I was lucky enough to be a part of it.

I love you, and thanks.

Thanks for taking a chance on me,

I was a huge fan, and I still am.

So, thank you.

I had the best times of my life with you guys.

You've been next to me, through all joys and pains.

We have done some of the coolest shit together

that anybody could ask for and I love you all,

and I wanna make sure that my parents are recognized

for the unconditional support in my playing career.

Thanks to the dudes in Bane for having me.

Thanks everyone who was involved

for making Bane like such a special

and relevant thing to our lives.

You all mean the world to me,

and I would never have been able to do this

without every single one of you.

It's not the end for us for sure,

but it's the end of this chapter, and I love you all.

You have been exactly the person that I needed

to be on that stage with, and that studio with,

in that van with, and that one hotel room with,

if we had a hotel room,

and I love you all so much.

You guys still owe me $87 for parking.

Thanks for letting me do all the work.

This is bad 'cause I'm getting pissed for all those years.

Thank you for believing in me,

and making me laugh every single day.

At the end of the day we were a hardcore band

we got up on stage and tried to give it our all,

and tried to pay tribute to the spirit of the bands

that made us want to be in bands.

We had no idea the places that we would go,

the people we would meet.

The life-long friends that we were gonna make,

and it was just by far exceeded anything

we could expect to happen in our lives.

We hold those moments

closer than we can ever imagine we could,

and it's harder than ever to let them go.

♪ What's done is done ♪

♪ The night takes ♪

♪ Everyone ♪

For me like I said earlier...

Don't say that, just, start it like a whole new thing.

Is he directing, are you directing, who's directing here?

Hey he's helping, I appreciate him.

Nobody likes the back street boys anymore,

and they were the biggest thing in the fucking world,

you know, so it's like, no offense,

if you need a bass player or a guitar player,

I'm your man

Basically we're gonna start

with the California shows,

and then work our way up to now.

Weirdest Bane song?

Fuck, any one that Zach starts singing a lot.

They transferred a dog's jaw bone into my jaw.

Oh, did they?

Yeah, touch it

I love Zach.

And I like his singing too,

but like some of those songs

like he just, he just go like,

Like "Really doing this?"

Yeah, they're doing, alright cool.

Bane in one word to me, is energy, pure energy.

well, that's two, but...

That's two, you gotta go back, you gotta redo that.

- Yeah. - One word.

You can do yours then first, how about that?

Mine would be pure energy.

As long as you say I love you after you shit talk,

I think it's fine to say whatever you say.

That's the rule, right?

So, I was in this car accident

and I broke my jaw, and had to get a bone transplant,

and they took it from a dog.

You wanna feel it?

No

You know.

What are you doing here?

Hi baby!

Well, this is awkward.

Don't worry, I'm just saying hi and then I'm leaving.

Hi Beautiful

♪ Happy birthday dear Bane ♪

♪ Happy birthday to you ♪

Bands were coming out, and people were wearing make up,

and they were going to metal rock,

and doing this and that, they kept their thing pure.

Matt, do you have a problem with that?

No.

What the fuck man?

I'm trying to have a moment here.

I agree with you, Bane never wore makeup.

Do you have a favorite Bane story,

like your favorite show story?

I remember my best friend, went and did a stage dive,

and I had never done a stage dive,

I thought that was mind blowing that he did that.

So, I like got up the courage to get up there,

climbed up on stage, went to go to jump off,

and the crowd just pushed me back on the stage,

and probably the most embarrassing moment of my life.

That's your greatest story?

Yeah, it was the first thing I could think of.

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