Original subtitles

Hurumhei Mountain Hotel. Who? Oh, hello, madam.

No, Mrs Nilsen. That is completely impossible.

We cannot find a room for you until long after Easter. Hello.

But do give us a call after Easter. Preferably close to Whitsuntide.

If the snow will stay?

I'll give your regards to the snow. Then it will stay until you arrive.

At worst, we can deep-freeze a small piste for you. Yes, yes.

- What's for lunch today? - Goose.

No, no. I'm sorry, I didn't mean you.

No, it was for one of the guests. That's all right then. Goodbye.

Poppe? Could you recommend a small and easy piste for me?

Not too steep.

Then I'll recommend that you swing by the terrace and head for the bar.

Yes, I might do that. Would you post this for me, please?

It'll be my pleasure.

Good morning, Mr Blom. Have you slept with a guilty conscience?

Yes. There is a draught where I sit in the dining hall.

Can't I sit at Mrs Rosenkrans' table?

Yes. Perhaps it's not just the wind blowing. I'll see to it.

Poppe! We are tired of climbing up to the plateau every day.

- Is the snowmobile coming or what? - It's on its way. Tomorrow.

Really? Did you persuade the manager to buy it?

Yes. Well, it was a bit difficult to persuade Mr Granberg.

But I've ordered the snowmobile at my own risk.

- What will the manager say? - Tell me about it.

Hotellkoncernet, Ltd. Is a huge corporation.

Hurumhei probably doesn't mean that much to Mr Granberg.

But what will he say?

No, that does it. He has to be out of his mind.

He forgets that I own Hurumhei. He does not.

- Who, Daddy? - This Poppe.

He requested a snowmobile to transport the guests up the mountain.

Te guests can go on skis. But now he's bought the snowmobile anyway.

He says he knows what the guests want.

And I am so experienced in the hotel trade.

You haven't been there lately.

I don't have time. Hurumhei is to high up for my blood pressure, ...

- and I'm allergic to reindeer moss. But I have to go there and...

There, there, Daddy. Remember your hypertension.

- But what can I do? - Nothing. It's doing so well.

- Not because of that impudent fool. - Let's check it out.

- But I don't have time for it now! - No, not you. I'll do it.

What are you saying? You promised you'd get me a page boy today.

Yes, it is difficult to get staff. But I have to get a page boy.

The hotel is packed and everything is... Hello? Hello?

- Miss Granberg? - Hush. Let no one know I'm here.

- But why? - I'll explain it later.

- You need a page boy. - You bet. I'm going mad.

- All right. Here he is. - But, Miss...

Come to the mountains among the clouds

where the sky is always blue

come to the mountain get away from the city

up the mountain among the clouds

we have sun and snow and glaciers come to the mountains

grouse and reindeer hide everywhere

get away from your mother-in-law your taxes and troubles

from sorrow and want from calmour and din and twaddle

leave it all behind and go to the snowy mountains

we'll follow the paths come with me up the mountains

we've got light, air and me.

Welcome. How are you?

How can we help you?

- We? Who are we? - The Hurumhei Mountain Hotel.

- I see. That's who you are. Morning. - Morning. I mean, good morning.

How can we help you?

- Who are you? When did you start? - Just now. My name is Ru...

- Ru... Rudolf. - Ru-Ru-Rudolf. Do you stutter?

- No. Do you? - Don't be cheeky, boy.

Stop smirking. There'll be no nonsense here.

I'm the only one calling the shots around here.

I see. Don't you have a manager here, then?

Oh, yes. An old fool who's never around. A nitwit.

- Nitwit? - Step aside. Yes...

- Is that part of the job, too? - You have to keep in shape.

I've just been demonstrating the snowmobile I bought for the hotel.

But I may go weeks without breathing five minutes of fresh mountain air.

- This might do you some good, too. - Me? But I'm in good shape. Oops.

You're a weedy fellow. I'll make a man of you when I get the time.

- Well, if you can do that... - I can do everything. Remember.

Look at your posture. Stand straight. I can't stand looking at that.

Take that away. Keep close to me, and keep your eyes open.

- About turn. - March!

I went all the way to Gardanuten all by myself.

Well, isn't it great to have the countryside all to yourself?

It can be a bit too much. Are there no fun people coming here?

All the people here are fun. And today more fun people will arrive.

- Any celebrities? - Well, let's see.

- Yes, Mona Miller, the model. - Yes, she's so much fun.

- Do you two know each other? - Any interesting men?

Interesting men? Let's just see. Yes, here we go.

This is right up your street. Classy stuff. Can you guess who?

- Ali Khan? - No, not Ali Khan.

- Gary Cooper? - No. Go higher, go higher.

Well, do you know who's coming?

Our very own popular actor, Teddy Winter.

- Is Teddy coming? When? - Well, he's driving in his car.

If the road is OK, he could be here any time soon.

I have to change. Let me know when he arrives. Don't tell him I'm here.

I'll be silent as the grave.

Yes, certainly.

- Can you get me a clothes-brush? - Get me a timetable.

- Are you sure he's coming? - Yes. Give him a warm welcome.

You know what celebrities are like.

"I want to be alone". But God help us, if we take that at face value.

- We'll carry him on our hands. - He can step all over me!

He's here!

I've always dreamt of meeting you.

How long are you staying?

Now, ladies. Don't kill the charmer before he has arrived.

Step back, please.

He can't just step all over you right away, can he?

Welcome, sir.

I told them that you were coming, as you can see.

- I'll say. - Yes, I said you were coming.

- This way, please - My name is...

Please. Everybody knows your name.

Really? Would you have a small room for me, then?

A small room? Good one.

You'll get our finest room. You'll get the bridal suite.

- But what about the newly-weds? - How amusing.

You'll have room number 13. I hope you're not superstitious?

No, not at all.

Now, now!

Now, now!

- What were you about to do? - I was going to lift my suitcase.

Lift your own suitcase? Shame!

Pardon?

I will not let you do anything at all in this hotel.

We'll take care of you and look after you. Here you go, sir.

And I'll personally take care of your suitcase. This way.

This is the staircase. Number 13, second floor to the right. Thank you.

- Thank you very much. - Much obliged. Thank you...

Rudolf!

- Here I am. - Where have you been?

- I got a chunk in the kitchen. - A chunk? Watch your language.

You shouldn't eat snacks between meals. Take it to number 13.

- On the double. - On the double.

- Good. - Good.

- What do you say, Poppe? - Very pretty, Miss Sommer.

- Superb. The charmer has arrived. - You didn't tell him I was here?

- No, of course not. No! - That's good.

- Hi! Is it anyone's birthday? - Number 13.

Take this one for me, please. Poppe is waiting.

Buboribetra. We have to get the better of Professor Holmgren.

Flowers for the newly-weds.

But where is the bride?

I am completely unmarried. And I intend to stay that way.

- But you do have a companion. - Excuse me?

Do you know it? This is a Buboribetra.

Pleased to meet you. Lalla Thorsen.

- I came up here because of it. - It could do with some fresh air.

Professor Holmgren claims it doesn't hatch north of the 54th latitude.

But he hasn't been able to prove it.

But I think that I, here in Hurumhei and around this latitude, ...

- will be able to prove that both buboribetra and bubo practicula, ...

- and, for that matter, perhaps also bubo spiritualis...

But that is, of course, more of a hypothesis.

Sorry? You can leave, but quickly.

- Page boy? - At your service.

- Get me a drink, please. - What kind?

Something that fits my mood. I'm so in love.

- But it is so sudden. - Windbag. A gin fizz, quickly.

A quick fizz coming up.

Come up to the mountains

we've got sun, fresh air...

What a reception. Where is the audience, the applause, the music?

Yet I think I can sense a beautiful view on the horizon.

That structure seems a bit familiar.

- Always ahead with the news? - Always.

Would the proprietress of that voice become the mother of my children?

Yes. How many would you like?

Eva! Oh, divine Eva. How did you know I was going here?

How big-headed of you. Aren't you here because of me?

- I'm here to relax, and I meet you. - Then you won't be able to relax?

Pardon me for intruding.

That's what I call service.

- I trust my room is ready? - I'm sure. What's your name?

My name? That's funny. My name!

- Don't you know who I am? - No.

- Don't you see any Norwegian films? - Yes, if there's nothing else.

- Whom do you prefer on the radio? - The Birkelund sisters.

Birkelund? Poor boy. We still have illiterate people in the country.

No, Norway's most popular star is Teddy Winter.

- I see. Where is he then? - Right here. That's me.

- I see. - How about my room?

Let's see. You're staying in number 13.

13? Are you mad? All actors are superstitious.

Knock on wood, black cat on the road.

I see. Then how about number six, Mr Winter?

Very well. I've always been lucky in number six.

- And I'm staying in number seven. - Excellent. Seven means good luck.

But six and seven together still means bad luck.

- Do you feel like going skiing? - Sure.

- Are you going to change? - It won't take a minute.

- The lobby in ten minutes? - Very well.

Has anything happened while I was away?

I welcomed Winter the actor.

- Winter the act... Who? - Winter the actor.

I see. Did you welcome him? It's our luck to have you here.

What room is he staying in?

- Number six. - Number six, I see.

- You are lying. - No, it's the truth.

No, it's not. Mr Winter is in number 13.

He didn't want number 13. He was superstitious.

- Was he superstitious? - Yes. Black cat crossing the road.

- Knock on wood. - My word.

You can't do that. I'm the head receptionist.

What have you been up to? Let me check. Let's see...

Hello? This is Poppe, the receptionist.

Yes. Who is this? Are you Mr Winter? Mr Winter, the actor?

You are? Well, hi. No, I mean Hurumhei...

I heard you didn't want number 13. So now you're staying in number six.

That's perfectly fine. Since it's you, it's perfectly fine.

Yes. Pardon? Excuse me?

A hole in the muff? Is there a hole in the muff?

Is there a hole in the muffler?

Is there a muff up there?

Pardon me, but I don't understand...

Is there a hole in the muffler on the car?

I see, he has a muff in the car.

Muffler... Yes, on the car. I don't know much about cars...

- and that sort of thing, but I can notify the mechanic.

Yes, of course.

Would you like a mineral water? I'll send Rudolph up to you at once.

Thank you, Mr Winter. Thank you very much.

Thank you for staying here. Thank you.

What have you done here, Rudolf?

What have you done? You've put Mr Winter in room number six.

That's the room I reserved for the Mona Miller, the model.

Put her in number 13, then it's in the bag.

In the bag? It's nowhere near the bag. You've made a mess of it.

You know room number 13 is both a double room and a bridal suite.

The young lady could be a virgin. A virgin in the bridal suite?

She might develop issues. She'll feel like an Eskimo in the Sahara.

You have to learn that in the hotel trade you can't make mistakes.

Observe me, listen to me and learn from me. I never make mistakes.

Does anything seem less than vague to you?

- Oh no, Poppe. - No.

While you are looking at me, the actor is thirsting for a drink.

- Shouldn't you bring him a soda? - But...

- Didn't he order a mineral water? - Did he? Well, then bring him one.

Whatever. Get up there and do what you have to do.

- Is everything to your satisfaction? - Yes. Lovely room, great view.

Good. Your club soda is coming, but would you prefer it down here?

- Sorry? - The soda. You were so thirsty.

- No, I am not. - No? Well, sometimes it can pass.

- A cigarette, perhaps? - I don't smoke or drink.

- I see. When you're driving... - Driving?

Speaking of cars. What should I do with the muffler?

- The muffler? - Yes, didn't you say so?

- Me? - Yes, on the phone.

- We haven't talked on the phone. - We haven't?

Yes, just a moment ago. Please...

- Let's go. - Sorry?

- I beg your pardon, but... - Don't you want to go for a walk?

Yes. I was actually going for a walk.

- Let's do it, then. - Yes, let's do it, then.

- I have to talk to the receptionist. - Hurry up.

Tell me... I have the impression that the young lady knows who I am.

- Of course she does. - But I don't know her.

- Now you must be joking. - Oh, I see.

She must be one of my old students.

Yes, I'm sure you have trained lots of young ladies over the years.

It's so embarrassing, but I'd better pretend that I know her.

Yes, perhaps. Enough of this play-acting. You're on holiday.

Don't tell me that you don't know the actress Eva Sommer.

She washes herself with Lux on the back of Allers every Wednesday.

I see. On the back? Every Wednesday?

- Thank you. - Don't mention it.

- The sky is gorgeous outside. - Typical stratocumulus clouds.

Personally, I prefer cirro-cumulus clouds.

No, no, no. Artists are strange people.

They are all on edge. But it's not good, when they get too overstrung.

He... he just went outside.

And then he comes down the stairs. No, this is not possible.

No, it's just a load of nonsense.

Boo! What's the matter with you, man? Have you seen a ghost?

I... I... Tell me, did you just walk down those stairs?

- Yes, didn't you see me? - Yes. Yes, I did...

You didn't go outside just a minute ago, did you?

You didn't leave with Miss Sommer?

- Is she down yet? - Yes, isn't she?

- Well, you have to tell me. - Yes. Of course.

- She went out. - With whom?

Yes, that's the thing. She went out with you.

- With me? - Yes. You see...

- No, this can't be possible. - What?

I saw it with my own innocent eyes. She just went outside.

You went outside with Miss Sommerjust now.

- Do you sleep well at night? - I haven't slept that badly.

Pardon me.

Yes, Hurum... Harum... Hurumhei Mountain...

Hotel Mountain. Yes. Go ahead, it's the receptionist.

Pardon? Who are you? You need to talk to Mr Winter? Yes.

- Are you here now? - No.

- No... There's a call for you. - Thanks. I'll take it in the booth.

Don't forget my muffler, Poppe.

I've never experienced anything like it.

Rudolf... Rudolf! Rudolf!

- Here I am! - Right. Don't leave me now.

- Is something the matter, Poppe? - Yes. Something's going on.

Confide in me, Poppe. I understand it all.

You do? No. When I don't understand, you don't understand either.

Have you experienced people who come and go?

- Come and go? - Yes, that's quite natural.

But this one comes when he has left.

And he says things he says he hasn't said just after he's said them.

And he forgets that he's forgotten what he's said after he's forgotten...

- what he should've said when he forgot it.

Poor Poppe. An old aunt of mine has the same affliction.

- It helped when she played piano. - What did she play?

"Dance Macabre" usually did the trick.

If it got too bad, she would play a march. Four-handed.

Four-handed? Alone? By herself?

- Did that help? - Yes. They disappeared.

- Who? The guests? - No, the hallucinations.

But it's no good fighting. You have to embrace them.

Of course it also helps to have a small snifter.

I never drink when I'm at work... Get me a snifter. 7.5 centilitres.

- Yes, sir. - The boy is not that dumb.

- What is it? - No, it's not a buboribetra.

- Bubo what? - Ribetra. A horned owl.

- Have you seen horned owls? - I can't tell birds apart.

Imagine if I could tell Professor Holmgren...

Let's pretend you're Holmgren, and then I'll say:

"I don't know whether you are an impostor or an ignoramus, ...

- when you claim that the buboribetra doesn't hatch this far up north."

"I've seen it myself. And reliable witnesses have also seen it."

- Wasn't that a devastating remark? - Yes, no one can act like you.

- It's my whole life. - It's always been important to you.

- But you're on holiday. Relax. - I can never leave my work behind.

But it is more than just work. It's my vocation. Vocation.

You have to identify with it, so that you think you have wings...

- and you can soar over mountains and valleys. I'm sorry.

Cheers. Good evening, I mean.

Good morning. Join us at the table. Our table.

Here in the stable... at our table. Cheers.

- Grey. - Yes.

- Grey. - Perhaps at your temples, yes.

- I am Grey. - But it suits you, sir.

- I am Doctor Grey. - Yes, but it will pass.

Oh, you are Doctor Grey? Pardon me. You're very welcome.

- Where have I got you? - Have you got me anywhere?

Yes, in my annals. Did you have a pleasant journey, Doctor?

- Did I? - No, did you?

- No. - The busses aren't kid stuff.

I wouldn't know. I'm not a paediatrician.

Turn around, please. And then back again.

I wanted to see if you were as tall on both sides.

- Was I? - Yes.

- Thank you. - Where is my room?

Well, it's on the second floor. It's attached to the wall.

I'm sorry. We were going to put you in number 19.

Who are "we", who are going to "put" me?

Oh, no. We've reserved number 19 for Doctor Grey. That's what we do.

Would you please fill this one out?

- Can I get a stamp? - No.

Let me introduce you. This is Winter, the actor. Doctor Grey.

- What kind of actor? - What kind of doctor?

- Psychiatrist. Say "ah". - Ah.

- No, "a" as in "alcohol". - Aah!

As a doctor, I can see you need a drink. Would you join me in the bar?

Brilliant! You'll be my physician-in-ordinary.

Be careful, lad. It is precious stuff.

- Your instruments, perhaps? - No, medicine.

How clumsy of you. Can't you even lift a suitcase? Like this.

Are you ready?

- Cheers. - Cheers.

Pardon the interruption, but is this your ball pen?

- No. It's my fountain pen. - Are you enjoying yourselves?

- Yes. - How enjoyable.

- Cheers. - Cheers.

- I think my theory... - A nice walk?

Yes, thank you... about the buboribetra is correct. But...

Excuse me, stay here a moment, until I get back, please.

Let's see.

- I'll go change. So long. - Thank you for the walk.

- You're standing here, right? - I beg your pardon?

- You're not down in the bar? - I've told you that I don't drink.

No, of course you don't. No... it's all my fault.

- Aren't you feeling well? - No, I don't think so.

- Then you should lie down. - Not with just anyone.

For anything, I mean. But what about the muffler?

Give it a rest with that muffler!

There's no need for that. I do have a right to know.

Poppe!

Poppe!

Don't forget to fix my muffler.

Mummy!

Help! Mummy!

There you are! I knew you were here, but I hadn't seen you.

I'm sorry, I don't understand...

No, but I do. I assume Eva has taken up all your time.

Eva? Do you mean Miss Sommer?

Don't play innocent with me.

- I enjoyed your company. - I don't recall...

No, of course not. You were so drunk.

- Drunk, I? I don't drink. - Pardon?

Are you on the wagon?

On the wagon? What in? No, really! Pardon me.

- I'll see to it, Mr Sander. - Thank you very much.

Is there not a single sane person in this hotel?

Or is it me who's gone mad?

Oh, no. It's the rest of us. Me, anyway.

Yes, I must say. Are there any more patients in this madhouse?

Or have I met them all?

Well, you've met quite a few. You know Miss Sommer.

Oh, yes. That was altogether pleasant.

And you've just met Mr Blom and Mrs Rosenkrans.

- Less so. - And you know Dr Grey.

- I've never met any Dr Grey. - You haven't met Dr Grey?

No! Is he the superintendent?

But I introduced you myself.

- Poppe! You are drunk. - I know what I'm talking about.

But you don't. First you say one thing, and then something else.

- This business with the muffler. - No!

What kind of madhouse is this? I need to get out of here.

I need some air.

Well, now I know what to make of him.

I've never seen anything like this. Rudolf. Come here.

- Closer. Don't be afraid. - I am not afraid.

No, but I am. Your advice hasn't helped me at all.

I'm sorry to hear that. What's the matter, Poppe?

Winter is not Winter after all. Yet Winter is Winter.

But when Winter isn't Winter, then Winter can't be Winter, ...

- when he says he doesn't know people who say they know him.

Of course not. That sounds completely logical.

This Winter is killing me. I don't think I'll be sane again.

But Poppe! You must be exhausted. Poor you.

Yes, poor me. What can I do?

Didn't your aunt do something else, when she became nuts?

- If it became bad, she'd skip. - Did she skip? Like this?

- Yes. Double Dutch. - Did she skip with the Dutch?

Sure. She would skip with anyone.

Did she? Why didn't you tell me, lad?

There's the madman again. Should we let him in? He is a guest.

Grab my hand, Rudolf. Tightly.

Don't scare me to death, lad.

- He's changed completely. - It's not him.

- Isn't it? - No, it's a new guest, Poppe.

Yes, it is... Remove your hand.

Please. You're very welcome. I'm so glad it is you.

- This is not too bad. - No.

- Mona Miller. - Welcome. You're so late.

Late? I almost didn't make it at all.

I asked the conductor to wake me before Hurumhei. But he forgot.

I got off the train two stations too late.

Oh, no! Rudolf. Collect Miss Miller's luggage.

No, it happened so quickly that I didn't get my suitcase.

No. Call the station and get hold of Miss Miller's luggage.

I had to go back on a slow train. Now I simply want to crash.

Crash away, Miss Miller. Crash. I've also had a rough day.

- I'd like to crash with you. - Hello!

Please send this telegram for me, Poppe.

- Sorry? How did you get back in? - I've been here all along.

- So? - Are you here, Winter? How nice.

- Good evening. - How pleasant to see you again.

- It's been far too long. - Work and all that.

Especially that. You didn't forget our little postlude at Bull's?

Of course not. That was some night.

I hope we can continue where we left off.

I hope so. I'd better hurry back, or the roast will get cold.

- The drink will get warm. Pardon me. - What a charmer.

- Who? Me? - Teddy Winter.

The actor? Who just returned to the dining hall? You saw him too?

- It's not just me? - I don't understand...

No, I don't expect you to. I don't understand a thing myself.

- I'd better get to bed. - Yes, please. Oh, pardon me.

Let's see. You're in room number 13.

- The key is in the door. - 13, my lucky number.

Really? Then go upstairs and get lucky again.

It's a double room. It should have been a single, ...

- but it's been such a singular day. Everything has doubled up.

Please. Upstairs and to your left. Sleep tight, in your double bed.

- Thanks. It will be a bit lonely. - I'm afraid I'm working.

No, no, no... Poppe, what's the name of the sex bomb?

Mona Miller. A beautiful work of nature, wouldn't you say?

Oh, yes. Very tasty.

- But she's a bit tired tonight. - Poppe, you know you are my friend.

Much obliged. I'll fix you up with her tomorrow.

Who knocks on the gates at this hour?

I'll be right... No!

Let me in. I'm cold.

Let me in! Let me in, I'm cold!

No, you're having dinner in the dining hall.

- I went for a walk. - Did you leave when you said so?

- Yes, you saw me. - No. You went into the dining hall.

- Let me in! - No, I won't let you in.

- I'm cold! - Yes, yes, yes, just a minute.

Can't you admit that you've had a lovely dinner in the dining hall?

Can't you tell me that? Don't deny it, the price will stay the same.

- I'm going mad. - Me too.

- Or the both of us! - Yes, but...

You just went into the dining hall.

Look. If I just came in here, then I can't have gone out there.

No. But that's nevertheless what you just did.

Now I've got it. Of course!

You were dining. You wanted a bit of air and went out the back door.

- I never use the back door. - That's the only explanation.

I'm right. And you are right. We are both right, except you.

I refuse to argue with you. You are either mad or drunk.

Probably both. And now I am going to bed.

- But then you have had your dinner. - No!

- Off to bed without any dinner? - Yes. You've ruined my appetite.

And guess who was lying under the snow. The managing director.

Rudolf's aunt, Rudolf's aunt. She played the piano and skipped.

Skipped, skipped, skipped! There we go!

- Oh, my God. - Am I dreaming? Oh, darling.

- Pardon? - Darling.

Darling? Who are you and what are you doing here in my bed?

- Your bed? But my dear... - I am not your dear anything.

- No? With all that between us? - There is nothing between us.

- Have you come here to insult me? - No, to sleep.

- Yes, with me. - Alone, if you don't mind.

- Get out! - Am I to get out?

- Yes, at once. - Two can play that game.

I'm coming, I'm coming. Are they out of their minds?

- Enter! - Enter!

Is there a fire?

Please throw this man out.

Will you please throw this woman out?

Can you decide whom I should throw out?

In order that no one will misunderstand this...

There's no mistaking this.

Come with me.

- What does that say? - 13.

- And what does that mean? - Bad luck.

- I'm staying there. On my own. - Are you sure about that?

What kind of hotel is this?

"Comfortable, refurbished, 800 metres above sea level," it says in the ad.

- And how far below standard? - As far as most hotels, I'd say.

- It's locked. From the inside. - That's settled then.

No! I've been locked out. Are you hard of hearing?

No. I hear better than I look.

I have to get back in. Or should I sleep out here for 15 kroner a night?

- 15? That must be without board. - You don't know what you're saying.

No. But I have to say something.

- Don't make me mad! - What's going on here?

Don't kill the lady. Is it you, my friend? Would you like a nightcap?

We're not acquainted, sir.

You're not my friend. And I don't want any nightcap.

Especially since I have to spend the night out here.

Don't interrupt my nocturnal discussion with this woman.

A severe case of neuritoca idiotis.

- Right. Where were we? - Out here.

Exactly. But we really ought to be in there. I can't take any more.

I need a place to sleep.

OK, but not at my place. I'll find you a place to sleep. Come on.

Yes?

Have you gone to bed?

Do you have a headache tablet? My head aches all of a sudden.

Poor you. Let's see. I've got some here.

- Do you have some? - Yes. Wasn't that what you wanted?

- Or did you want something else? - Well, now that you mention it...

But it's a good line when you make late-night visits to other rooms.

- Eva! - Not so fast.

- You'd better go to bed. - Then I'll go to bed.

Now I say good night

and thank you for this evening

but I've really got this hunch

that something strange is going on

but let's call it a day tonight.

Fool in the mountains on the glacier

we've got light, air and me

Watch where you're going, Lalla.

Hush. The guests might not appreciate a morning concert.

- Mind you own business. - How dare you?

I dare not put a single man in the same room as a single woman.

- Where he can't stay. - Was there a man in your room?

No, I wasn't that lucky. But in Miss Miller's room.

First I showed him the door. Then I showed him the bathroom.

Yes. Then I knew where I had the madman.

Who are you talking about?

Winter? Good lord. No, now I never...

Fool in the mountains up in the snow...

- Good morning. - Morning.

- Did you sleep well last night? - Yes, thank you.

How are you after your small adventure last night?

- Adventure? I'm fine and dandy. - Just a second.

I'll say nothing, Mr Winter. I'll be as silent as a muffler.

But you've started smoking after last night's trouble.

- Started? - Yes, you told me you didn't smoke.

Don't tell me you remember anything from last night.

Yes, I do.

Let me refresh your memory and say just one word: the bath.

- Pardon? - The bath tub.

- Sorry? - Sleeping in the bath tub.

- Poppe, are you married? - Is that an invitation?

- No, I'm footloose and fancy free. - Your wife can count her blessings.

If I didn't feel sorry for you, I'd complain.

- About the bath? - No, about you.

But I am willing to turn a blind eye to the shocking fact...

- that you forced yourself into Miss Miller's room last night.

What are you talking about?

You can't run off with Miss Sommer and spend the night with Miss Miller.

Really, Poppe? Did you go elsewhere last night?

Dear Eva, I am blind to whatever charms Mona Miller might possess.

Really? Yes, I noticed last night.

Honestly, I'm not a punching ball.

I didn't do anything that could lead to...

You fool!

Poppe is just talking nonsense. The man is nuts.

- Why did Miss Miller hit you? - She's always been hysterical.

- I must have been stand-offish. - Is this the truth?

- Word of honour. Cross my heart. - And I hit you.

- Poppe. Just look at me. - Yes, you look a bit rough.

I also caught a cold. Do you know where I had to sleep last night?

Yes. I just tried to talk to you. About it. But you were so puzzled.

- I haven't spoken to you today. - You haven't?

Don't start this again. I'm not one to meddle in your personal life.

But you can't just go from one flower to the next.

Don't fool around with one during the day and the other at night.

- I understand Miss Miller. - I don't know any Miss Miller.

Pardon? But last night she...

Stop! Don't remind me of that troublesome creature.

But... Poppe! What do you make of this?

You could almost say that this is hard-hitting stuff.

- Idiot! - Same to you.

Help. Help!

- Help! - The doctor's on his way.

- Are you a nerve specialist? - You should think so.

Help me. I'm seeing double.

- Cheers. - I think I see things I don't see.

I think I've seen them, and they are there, and then they're not there.

- How do you manage? - Seeing double?

- No, to say all that. - It just had to come out.

You could try one of my hormone injections.

No, Poppe doesn't need injections. He needs sun and fresh air.

He should go skiing. You should try some slalom.

Slalom? Me? You're mad, lad. I'm no acrobat.

- The skis'll do the work. - What will they do?

Just follow the terrain. If the hill slopes this way, you go that way.

- I see. Like this and... - And vice versa.

But you do remember that I'm a receptionist, not a ballet dancer?

Just relax.

Relax your arms, loosen your knees, right?

Relax your arms, loosen your knees, feel courage in your chest...

Yes.

Am I going that way down? Will I get down in one piece?

- Yes. Just go ahead. - Just a moment.

- Hurrah! - Bravo!

- What are you using today? - Blue Swix, of course.

- You're not mad at me, are you? - No, it's not your fault.

Because I was so angry, I mean. Don't be mad at me.

- No, not if you ask me like that. - More obliging than last night.

The less we talk about it, the better...

I think you've made quite an impression on me.

- Should we try the yellow piste? - No, thank you. I'll go on my own.

- So. Now we're talking. - Have you seen the weather?

- It's lovely. - And what a view.

- It looks like a postcard. - How unromantic.

Postcards are nice. Especially with X's and "we're staying here".

But you are nicer than any postcard. You're like a weather forecast.

Fair weather, gentle breeze, a bit of snow on exposed positions.

Please take it easy. What was the number?

- The bath tub? - No, the room.

- Number 13. - But you're staying in number six.

- Why did no one tell me? - I'm sorry. Poppe is so reliable.

- He's just so overworked. - Get my stuff moved to number six.

I'll write some postcards. But don't forget buboribetra.

Bubo?

Lalla, about Winter's luggage. Bring it to room number six.

Hey!

Hey! What are this suitcase and this animal doing here?

- I was told to move it here. - Why?

Why should I know? The others don't know what they're doing.

Well, here's your friend.

Poor little thing. That wasn't so good.

Yes, what do you want?

- Want? I'm staying here. - Nonsense. I'm staying here.

- No! - Yes!

What an unpleasant voice.

Get out, or I'll call the receptionist.

There's no need to. I'll talk to him myself.

Let's meet in the lounge in a short while.

Poppe, make sure there's champagne in my room tonight.

- Yes, sir. Entertainment expenses? - Running expenses, Poppe.

Running expenses, I see.

- Receptionist. - How may I help you?

A room. I was thrown out again. Now I want a room of my own.

I won't tolerate being thrown around like a ping-pong ball.

If you don't see to it right away, I'll complain to the management.

I'll get you a room of your own. I'll give you my own room.

It has four walls. And a door you enter through.

And a window over there. And a bed with four small legs.

And an alcove where the pretty bird can stay. I can sleep in the bath.

This Winter is to blame for Poppe being so nervous. Those actors!

They have such a strange behaviour. Like yesterday.

Hello? Yes. It's Oslo for you. Tell your father that you're a page boy.

- No, he mustn't know. Hello? - How are you, my dear?

- Why haven't you called me? - I've been so busy.

- What is this Poppe like? - He's so sweet and nice.

- Well, he ought to be. - Towards the guests, I mean.

- Despite his hallucinations. - This goes from bad to worse.

He's right about the snowmobile. It'll be so popular.

No, don't write to me, Daddy. The letter may not get here.

- What do you mean? - I have to go. There's a long queue.

Goodbye.

That was a strange conversation. Get me Hurumhei.

Do as I say, then it'll be all right.

Hurumhei Mountain Hotel, this is the receptionist.

- Why, hello, sir. - How are things?

- Very well, thank you. - Can I talk to my daughter?

Did you say "daughter"? There's no trace of a manager's daughter.

Are you mad, or are you trying to amuse me?

I'm not trying to amuse, and I don't have a mad daughter.

No, not your daughter. Let me talk to my daughter.

- Where do you keep her? - I killed her.

I cut her up and put her through the mincer. Goodbye.

Why, I've never...

Order a ticket to Hurumhei on the first train tomorrow morning.

Has everyone gone to bed? My word, what a day.

Don't I deserve a drink? Will you give me one?

What can I get you? A sidecar or a dry martini?

- A whisky. - A whisky's coming up.

- Water or soda? - I'll drink it neat.

You can take a coke on me.

Thanks a lot. But I think I'll have a whisky, too.

Really? You're an early starter, aren't you?

- Yes. Cheers. - Cheers.

See? You should have stuck to the coke, my lad.

Now, will you look at that.

"Ruth Granberg on her way to Switzerland in her green Mercedes...

- which she got from her father on her 21st birthday."

The famous hotel manager. What do you know. Look at this.

- Is that what she looks like? - Some people have it.

Switzerland. As if there weren't enough hills and mountains here.

- Yes, but she's back home now. - Is she? How do you know?

- I've read it somewhere. - Really? A green Mercedes.

We work hard, and we can't even afford a Volkswagen.

- But she is quite pretty. - Yes. But she's not very tall.

We can't all be as tall as Poppe.

She is pretty. She is a luscious little thing.

- She reminds me of someone. - Does she? Who?

- The matron's cats. - What?

- Yes, a bit soft, don't you think? - No, I don't.

How would you know? You don't know about girls. You're too young.

Can't you, with your experience, teach me about girls and such?

Yes, you would like that.

In our trade we see a bit of everything.

- Have you been in love, Poppe? - Oh, yes. Have I?

No, not really. I don't think I've met the right one yet.

- What must she be like? - What she must be like?

She has to be fair. Well, or dark.

She has to be tall and slim. Or well-covered.

No, I think I'd prefer one who was petite and pretty.

But... Well, looks don't matter that much.

But she has to like the hotel trade.

- Absolutely. - Then we'll run a hotel together.

A model hotel. And then we'll have many small page boys.

- And a lot of small page girls. - Oh, yes.

What are you drivelling about? It's late.

You should be dreaming about Little Red Riding Hood.

No, no more of that. You can't take any more. Off to bed.

Then I'll close up the bar. Cheers.

- Haven't you gone to bed? - I'm on my way. Are you going out?

I just got my things. I've let Mr Winter sleep in my room.

So now I have to sleep in number six.

- Good night. - Good night.

Yes?

- Who is it? - It's Poppe.

Poppe? Oh, God. Poppe. Just a minute.

Hurry up.

What are you doing in there?

Number six is haunted, so I have to sleep in your room.

- No, you can't, Poppe. - No? Sleep on the floor.

- On the floor? - Haven't you been a boy scout?

- No. Yes. But do you snore? - No, not that I know of.

- I don't know what to do, Poppe. - Neither do I. Something is wrong.

There's one guest too much, and there's one daughter missing.

Something is wrong.

I can't stand any more. I have to sleep. Soundly and well.

Like a normal person. Before he gets his tax calculations.

- Can I never get some peace? - Can I sleep with you tonight?

Give it up, lad. You're still wet behind your ears. Good night.

Come up to the mountains come to Poppe

he's fast asleep but he's got nasty dreams

come up to the mountains come to Poppe

we'll stick with him through thick and thin

come up to the mountains come to Poppe

we are Winter and Co. Are we one or two?

Come up to the mountains come to Poppe

the poor devil never gets any rest

but now we'll say good night

and thank you for this evening

but we're sure you already know

that we'll be back for you tomorrow

good night and thank you for this evening.

- Morning! - Hey. My, you're spry today.

- Did you sleep well last night? - Yes, I slept with the matron.

- Yes, please? - The bill, please.

Are you leaving? I wish it was me. This actor is killing me.

Look. There he is again.

- Any mail for me? - No. They called about the muffler.

No! Are you going to carry on with that? I am a very peaceful man.

But in certain situations even I... One, to, three, four...

- Five, six, seven... - Eight, nine, ten.

- Jack, queen, king, ace. - Cut it out!

- Poppe? - Good thing you're here, Rudolf.

- Is the receptionist ill? - Yes, he's not feeling well.

- And I'm feeling poorly myself. - It's not your heart, is it?

My heart? Of course not. I think my head is frail.

Tell me all about it. I'll understand.

I haven't slept a wink. I'm seeing and hearing double.

Maybe there's something wrong with your eyes. Follow this.

- Do you see anything? - Oh, yes. Your eyes are lovely.

Really? What's that nonsense, lad?

You're over worked. You work yourself to death for lazybones. The manager.

- No one notices around here. - I appreciate your effort.

You do? You're a bright lad. I need a drink. Get me a cognac.

- The bar doesn't open until three. - No. This is medicinal.

Run along now. He's not thick that lad.

He's the only one who has noticed...

- what I do for this hotel.

Rudolf. Where have I seen his face before?

Did you hear anything from the garage?

Poppe! Poppe! Poppe...

Popp-Popp-Poppe... What's the matter?

There, there. Open up. Like that...

That's Hennessy. Do you know what this costs?

When I say cognac, I of course mean brandy.

It's uncomfortable down here. Let's go behind the counter.

You have to help me. He's killing me.

- It looks like a drink helped. - A drink always helps.

What do you think it is?

His nerves. I recommended a hormone injection.

- Does that help your nerves? - Indeed!

- Do you suffer from nerves? - Indeed!

Then you must have an injection. You'll feel like a new man.

- If you really think it would help. - I'll get my syringe right away.

How do you feel now? Go up to your room and get some rest.

- But that damn Winter is in my room. - I'll have a word with him.

Oh, what a lad.

Excuse me, sir. It's about the receptionist's room.

Save your breath. I know that you want to throw me out.

But I have already packed my things.

I'll leave of my own accord. I'm leaving! Get me my bill.

- I'll work until the bus leaves. - Yes, sir. I'll pass it on.

Here I am again. Remove yourjacket, and it will be over in a second.

- What do you want? - It's just this teeny syringe.

- Syringe? Are you mad? - No, I'm not. Take it easy.

- It won't hurt. - No, I don't want to! No!

Sure you do. After a small pinprick, you'll feel great.

- No! - Yes.

- No! - It feels great.

No! No! This has got to stop.

I won't stay any longer in this... this madhouse.

- What went into him? - His nerves are no laughing matter.

- We have to treat him with caution. - And I slapped him.

Did you slap him? That's probably what started all this.

I'll go with him into town. He can't drive in that condition.

- Yes. He'll cut the corners. - It is no joke.

- Let's have the syringe, Doctor. - The syringe, yes.

Sorry?

No, I think we'll wait with that until you get into town.

- Into town? - Yes, as you are leaving now.

- Am I leaving? - Yes, you said so yourself.

Did I?

- Are you feeling poorly? - I'm starting to suffer from nerves.

I'll go up and lie down for a while.

- Poppe! - Seven minus nine. That's not on.

Then I'll have to borrow. But who will lend me?

- Poppe, I've worked it all out. - Don't disturb my distraction.

- My subtraction. - But now I understand it.

- One is leaving, and one is staying. - That's what you do in a hotel.

The Winter you think is Winter, is not the Winter you think he is.

What was that?

The Winter you think is Winter is not who he is.

- And neither am I. - What do you mean by all that?

I am not Rudolf, and I am not a page boy.

No. Bring this telegram to Mrs Rosenkrans outside.

- But... - Hurry. It might be her husband.

- But let me explain everything. - No! Go away!

- Is my bill ready? - Just a second.

- Is my bill ready? - Yes, just a second.

It's sad to see you leave so soon. Perhaps you'll return?

- To this madhouse? Never. - Much obliged. Here you go.

Would you mind driving down to town with me?

- There's plenty of room on the bus. - The bus? Good one.

Wait for me. I'll be right back. I just need to change.

- Do you want me to get your car? - Car? I don't have a car.

Of course you do. It glitters down in the garage.

If so, you can have it.

Thank you very much. And when the muffler is fixed, then...

- To hell with your muffler! - I agree completely.

Yes, please. It's the receptionist. A glass of sherry? For whom?

For whom? Now... you'd better watch your step.

No, you're standing down here. Yes, right in front of me.

You're here now, aren't you? Would you like your sherry on the bus?

Yes, I'm here. But I don't want no bus in my sherry.

No. You are down here, but you don't want that sherry.

Just a minute. You can talk to yourself.

- No, I've had enough. - Yes.

- Pleasant journey. Welcome back. - I do feel sorry for you, Poppe.

Can I give you a piece of advice? Take it easy. Relax.

I am relaxed. And I know you only exist in my imagination.

You are a mirage, a hallucination, a phantasm.

If I didn't know any better, I'd take the bird, which I know isn't there, ...

- and hit you over the head, which you don't have.

But I just have to count to three. Then you are gone with the wind.

One... two... two and a half...

three.

- Oh, no. - What's the matter now, Poppe?

I'm ill. I want to die. I want to become a monk.

I want to go up to my room at least. If I have a room.

Yes, come along. I'll take you up to your room.

Yes, come on. Let's go up to your room.

- Is it better now? - No. It'll never be any better.

Just lie down, then I'll explain everything. Winter is not Winter.

No! Not another word about Winter.

Just lie completely still.

Oh, now I feel I'm getting colder.

Don't worry about a thing. I'll take care of everything.

You're the sweetest lad in the world. What would I do without you?

- If only you could stay for good. - Yes, if only.

Yes? Pardon? No, the receptionist isn't here.

There's no one here. The lot of them have left.

Do I have a lot? No, the lot of them have left.

It's as empty as the Treasury. You got that one, did you?

A new patient, I presume. Who are you?

- I am the hotel manager. - I'm so sorry.

- And who are you? - I am a guest.

I'm sorry. Do you have any complaints?

- Have you met the receptionist? - Not yet.

- Have you seen the chambermaid? - No.

- Congratulations. - Is something wrong with the staff?

- Yes. Aren't you in the hotel trade? - I have been for over 40 years.

What a waste of time and energy. I'm so sorry.

Yes? No.

No, he isn't here. There's no one here.

Who I am? None of your business. Is this Winter, you say?

Well, I didn't think it was summer.

I'm starting to comprehend the profundity of lbsen's words:

"Absolute reason died today at 11 o'clock."

- Are you the chambermaid? - My, aren't you sharp?

- Give me a proper answer. - Here's my business card.

- Have you seen the receptionist? - Not for a long time.

- What room is he staying in? - Up there yesterday, but not today.

- Have you lost your marbles? - No, my keys.

- You are fired. - Thank you. It's about time.

Come in, but don't talk to me.

Here you are? Are you sleeping during working hours?

- Would you like to know who I am? - Such trifles do not interest me.

I am no trifle. First of all, I own this hotel.

And secondly, where is my daughter?

This place is haunted again. Stay away from me!

You can probably see white mice.

But answer me, before they turn into elephants, where is my daughter?

Dear, sweet, kind sir.

I swear on my long, thin, pointy knees...

- that I've never seen your daughter. I never want to see her.

- And no other daughter either. - I only have the one daughter.

You are fired. You are a disgrace to the Norwegian hotel trade.

A disgrace!

That was the door.

- You there! - I'm too busy.

How dare you? I'll teach you a lesson.

In the hotel trade you can't be too busy. You are fired.

- Great. I'll get rid of the uniform. - Is it you?

- At your service. - What is the meaning of this?

You've always said that people should work their way up.

So I did. Only the matron knows who I really am.

- But what are you doing here? - Can't I visit my own hotel?

And my own daughter. Or should I say son?

No, daughter. You've just fired your son Rudolf.

It'll be great to wear proper clothes again.

- But I wonder what he will say. - Who is he?

Poppe. You have no idea how sweet he is. And he is so competent.

Yes, he is running the hotel the best possible way.

What an enthusiasm. I should almost think you are in love.

Yes! And a hotel professional must be right up your street.

- But I have just fired him. - Daddy!

Enter.

Hello, my good man. Relax. Don't worry, Poppe.

I understand that you've had to deal with quite a lot lately.

I apologize for my temper. I didn't mean anything by it.

I've just heard flattering remarks about the way you run the hotel.

- Really? From whom? - My daughter.

- Your daughter? - Yes, my daughter Rudolf.

Your daughter Rudolf... What? No! Mummy! Help!

- I can't take this! - My word.

Poppe?

Don't leave me. Oh, no.

Look at me. You may recognize the soft girl in the green Mercedes.

But... but, Rudolf?

My name is Ruth. It's my father who owns the hotel.

Really? I see. Really, Miss Granberg?

You've made a fool out of me. I've been ridiculed at this hotel.

- Dear Poppe, I didn't mean... - Yes, you did. You have no heart.

But now it comes to an end. You'll have no more fun at my expense.

Poppe, don't leave me. I mean, us, the hotel and everything.

Yes. I've been fired. So now I'll leave.

I won't miss any one. Neither this person nor... the other.

- No, don't leave. - Who can stop me?

- I can. - You?

I mean, I thought... You were fond of Rudolf, and then I thought...

that maybe... maybe you...

Really? I'm not a green Mercedes that you can decide you want.

I'm not a toy for some owner's spoiled daughter. Goodbye.

- Did he leave? - Yes.

- Poppe? - Yes.

- Are you leaving? - You can count on it.

There's no train. There's been an avalanche.

Good evening, Miss.

How about a small drink in the bar?

Fine!

- Excuse me. - Poppe! Are you back?

- To stay, I hope? - No. It's circumstantial.

Due to circumstances, I have to rent a room for the night.

If you stay, you'll have a double room... double salary.

- No. - I'll make you the hotel manager.

But I'll never again interfere with your transactions.

- No. - 6,000 in entertainment expenses.

- That's not enough. - 8,000!

- And a green Mercedes. - No.

But what do you want, man?

I want a new receptionist who is just as competent...

- As? - As me.

- But you have got me. - Have I?

- Have I? - Yes, I'll be your receptionist.

- You will? - Oh, yes!

Oh, you're... You are hired.

- I hope it's for life, Poppe? - You can count on it.

- Mummy! - Yes?

But I knew that all along.

- Poppe... - Yes.

Subtitles: SDI Media Denmark