Original subtitles

- Bea: When are you due? - Uh, four days ago.

- The doctor's gonna be right with you. - I have a coupon.

Good morning, Patient. I'm Dr. Roberts. Oh. [Chuckles]

- What brings you in today? - Mm ...

Oh, snacking on some foam, are we?

Or, as it's known in the medical world, pica,

an appetite for non-nutritional substances ...

drywall, paint, couch cushions.

Low-resilience polyurethane foam.

I-I remember that smell... [Sniffs] ...the taste.

I once ate an entire love seat.

[Music]

Tampa Bay, 1987...

[Music]

- Doctor. - Pica!

Normally stress-related.

Randy: POV cams are latched in place.

[Grunts] [Gulps]

Follow the light, please. Follow the light.

[Echoing] Follow the light, please. Follow the light.

How long have you been having these cravings?

- Patient 6: Mm, nine months. - I'm gonna add these to your file.

I've been through two couches, a recliner, my sister's ottoman.

- She won't talk to me anymore. - Mm-hmm.

I got no friends, no furniture.

It seems to be causing some abdominal swelling, too.

Uh, Doctor, uh, may I?

- What we do here at Dream Corp is rewire ... - Yeah, I totally get it.

Just ... Just rewire whatever it is that makes me

want to eat those delicious, delicious cushions before this baby comes.

Ah! Good God!

Ahmed! Lead blanket.

Randy: Doc, I think I have a cyst. Feels tender.

Dr. Roberts: You've come to the right place, Patient 6.

I know just what to do.

[Warbling]

Let's crack open the ol' egg and see what drips out.

[Music]

I'm a woman also.

[Music]

2x05 - Woomba

Dr. Roberts: [Muffled] Would you look at that.

It's a possible dermoid.

- You think? - What's that mean?

Teeth and hair.

[Music]

One...

- two ... - Ow!

[bleep]!

Maybe just a hematoma. I'll run a biopsy to be sure.

Oh, that feels so much better.

[Chuckles]

It's just a cyst, guys.

- I'll have 88 pop it for my vlog. - No.

T.E.R.R.Y.: Oh, don't get him started on bulbous sacks of pus.

I love cysts.

Patient 6, can you hear me?

This is your captain speaking.

We have reached our cruising altitude,

and you are free to move about your subconscious.

I'll meet you in baggage claim.

[Call button dings]

[Yawns]

- Thank you. - Yeah.

Really? Now's the time for that?

A tuna sandwich on a plane? Are you that hungry?

Mm-hmm.

[Call button dings]

[Breathing heavily] [Monitors beeping rapidly]

[Screams]

[Echoing] Aah!

[Airplane engine whirring]

[Music]

[Gasps]

She doesn't seem to be pregnant in her subconscious, Doctor.

[Keyboard clacks] I'm going in.

Does flying in a plane still count as a flying dream?

I'll look into it.

I'm so jealous of human embryonic development ...

symbiosis between mother and offspring,

gestating inside the biological marvel, the woomba.

Am I saying that right? The ... the womby?

The "b" is silent. Wombs are inefficient.

[Chuckles] Why would you think that wombs are ineff...

My parents are genealogists.

- Okay. - Randy, drop me in.

Randy: Dialing nine. Locked and loaded.

[Warbling]

Ooh. Ooh.

Hello?

Patient 6?

Hello, Patient 6?

Whoa, Randy, I think something's moving around in your neck sack.

[Scoffs] Shut up.

- No, yeah, it is. - Yeah.

- What? - Something's going on.

Dr. Roberts: Randy, she's not here.

[Music]

[Music]

[Creaking] I'm blind!

[Echoing] Doctor!

I'm blind! Doctor!

I can hear you. I can't see you.

Look not with the eyes, but with the mind.

[Music]

[Crunches]

[Dinging] [Screaming]

[Thunder crashing]

[Music]

[Panting]

[Monitor beeps]

Hey, guys, I think her water broke.

Excellent! I've never seen a live birth.

Not excellent, T.E.R.R.Y.! Should we call an ambulance?

No, once we pop it and drain it, it'll be fine, but thank you, 88.

- No, for her! - No!

[Sing-song voice] I'm gonna see a live birth, live birth!

Dr. Roberts: Randy, wake me up.

[Gasps]

Doctor. I-I think she's in labor.

My real concern is the teeth falling out and the blindness.

Her refusal to see ... [Coughs] What's that smell?

It's her water. It broke.

Randy: No, just urine.

Amazing how asparagus passes through the body so quickly.

Oh. Becoming very pungent.

That reminds me ... Can hoagies go bad?

[Gags] What?

- Oh. - What?

[Moans] Ew.

- Whoa. - Randy: What?

- Uh, there's a... - Look at that.

Uh, Randy, uh ...

- Huh? - Ooh.

[Squish] Ooh, squashy.

Agh.

Bea, check on that biopsy.

[Sniffs]

[Clatter]

Dr. Roberts: Look at the issue, Patient 6.

[Breathing heavily] [Music]

I can't see.

[Music]

You don't need your eyes in your mind, Patient 6.

Trust yourself.

[Hinges creak]

Spoiled.

I put all the milk in the cupboard. It's all spoiled.

- Help! - Help!

- Help us! - Help us!

- Please, don't leave us here. - Help us.

[All pleading "Help us"]

Girl: Please. Don't leave us here.

No! I'm not...

No!

[Panting] [Music]

[Music]

[Music]

Fantastic.

[Gasps]

Bea: Nurse Ahmed to the dream chamber.

Nurse Ahmed to the dream chamber.

[Music]

Hmm. Your hair looks great up like that, honey.

Mama?

Been a while since I've seen the Chinnamasta ...

goddess of desire, goddess of contradiction.

Have you done this before?

I'm a registered doula, 88. It's my passion.

[Pipe music]

- Ahmed, prep the epidural. - Doc.

Randy, drop me in.

[Warbling]

[Panting] [Music]

[Scary music]

All right, point taken.

[Music]

Through the mud comes the lotus flower.

Turned out it was some type of African peanut butter.

[Chuckles] You would know this if you called more often.

I'm sitting on your grandmother, by the way.

[Cellphone rings] Thank her for the prayer beads.

Oh, my God. Nana.

Visualize vitality.

[Roars] Expose your dependence.

Expel your cravings.

This is not the ending of one life, but the beginning of two.

[Music]

[Baby cries in distance] Randy, pull us out.

Ahmed: You got this, 88. Confidence.

- Baby's about to pop. - Randy?

T.E.R.R.Y., make sure it's in focus.

T.E.R.R.Y.: Randy, please. I know what I'm doing.

Okay, guys, uh, I have a level-A5, uh, lump here with movement.

- Randy. - Bit of an anomaly.

Uh, I just want to thank all you, uh, twisted cystheads

out there for subscribing, and especially Trevor31

for being a good pal and, uh, commenting.

And action, 88.

[Whimpering]

[Inhales sharply]

Breathe through it, Randy. Breathe. Do it, 88.

Bea: Don't do it! The biopsy!

Let it hatch on its own!

[Echoing] Don't do it! Let it hatch on its own!

Let it hatch on it... Oh!

[All screaming]

Oh! Babies! [Laughs] Babies!

Oh, my babies! Come get Daddy's milk!

- Is there one on me? - Yeah, your face.

? Please ?

? Don't let it get to you ?

[Music]

? Even if you don't realize it, it's still all up to you ?

? Even if you don't, even if you don't realize it ?

? It's still all up to you ?

Randy: I'm a mommy!

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