Original subtitles

- What is... that? - What's what?

[Chuckles]

What is it? [Pop!]

- Ouch! - Stray hair.

[Hand whirring] All right, guys, turn off the lights.

I'm gonna go get T.E.R.R.Y.

Randy: Knock knock.

T.E.R.R.Y., we need your flashlight in the break room. Wh...

T.E.R.R.Y.! No! Help!

T.E.R.R.Y., no! T.E.R.R.Y.!

1x04 - Tijuana Zebra

All: Surprise!

[Upbeat music playing] He hung himself.

What? [Clicks tongue]

- Anyone seen my roasted chicken? - Oh. Still hot.

- Oh. - T.E.R.R.Y.'s dead?

- This is terrible! - I know. I made deviled eggs.

T.E.R.R.Y. can't die. Isn't that right, Doctor?

Almost. I soldered his mainframe inside a CBR.

Like a black box on an airplane.

- He gets this way around his birthday. - I should go get him.

How much time before our next appointment, uh, um...?

- Joey. - Yeah.

- What's left on the schedule is 88's weekly. - Oh, great.

Well ... well, we can do another maternal transference.

Do you think we can skip the breastfeeding this time?

- It's a natural part of life, 88. - I'll prep the Rorschach test.

- Also, I think I'm multiplying the volt... - Let me stop you right there.

[Mellow music playing]

Hey, bud. Birthday blues?

I hate birthdays.

I used to be cutting-edge technology.

Now I need to force quit at least once a day.

T.E.R.R.Y., you can't undevil an egg.

You can't go back.

[Sighs] Reality continues to ruin my life.

That's a good one.

Bill Watterson. It's my favorite quote from my Zen calendar.

I used to be a young man once, too.

Would I like to go back? Sure, I would.

But you just wake up every morning

and try to do the best for the ones you love.

[Whirring]

[Crash]

[Bell dings]

- Randy: Diane! - Hi.

- [Chuckling] Hi! - Hi.

- How are you? - I'm good. How are you?

- [Chuckles] Good. Good to see you. - You, too. What's going on?

Same old, same old.

I see you lost your hand. [Hand whirs]

Yeah, lopped it off in the control room.

- Oh. - But... [Chuckles]

- Yeah. Yeah. - [Chuckles] Oh.

Say, T.E.R.R.Y.'s gonna be so excited to see you.

I mean, you are technically his mother, after all.

- Looking forward to seeing him. - Yeah.

Where'd you get that?

In the vending machine. They're a dollar.

We discontinued those two ... two years ago.

I can't stop eating them.

Honestly, I've had like six today, Diane.

I really love 'em. Why'd you discontinue them?

They're good as hell.

The pain!

Just kidding. I can't feel anything, remember?

Well, for the 21st year in a row, I apologize.

Knock-knock. [Knocks on bench]

Look who I found wandering the halls.

Diane! [Clatter] Oh!

Happy birthday, T.E.R.R.Y.

Oh, I have missed you so much.

Oh, I've missed you, Mama. I've got so much to tell you.

We've been doing such important work here.

I brought you a little gift.

Ooh! Is it a zebra?

Oh. A plant.

Caring for something other than yourself

will sometimes give life a little meaning.

Okay. [Chuckles]

I'm gonna head out. Let you guys get to it.

Dr. Roberts: I see you're still working for Quartz,

running the old rat race.

I've been here three seconds, and already

- you are giving me shit. - I w... What did I say?

I had to get a job. Do you not understand that?

- What do you mean? - T.E.R.R.Y.: Stop.

- You're doing it again. - Stop.

- You're doing it again. - What am I doing?

- Doing that thing. - Just stop it!

Of course, even on my birthday, you two have to fight.

I tried killing myself today ... twice.

And you still act like I'm not even in the room.

Look, both of you are brilliant doctors,

but you can be terrible parents.

You know, maybe I'm the one in this place who needs therapy.

[Thunder crashes]

[Beep-boop]

- Dr. Roberts: Everyone. - T.E.R.R.Y.

- Hey, T.E.R.R.Y. - T.E.R.R.Y.

- Oh, T.E.R.R.Y. - Happy birthday, T.E.R.R.Y.

We have a surprise for T.E.R.R.Y.'s birthday.

T.E.R.R.Y. is going on his very own dream log.

Ay-oh!

But, wait, Doctor ... Doctors. How are you going to do that?

- T.E.R.R.Y. doesn't have a subconscious. - Correct. But 88 does.

- What? - Mm.

You must be Patient 88. I'm Diane Tripleton.

- Open. Ah. - Ah.

Even if T.E.R.R.Y. gets in there without finding his mainframe,

the jolt could send 88's serotonin levels into a nosedive.

And for somebody so obviously depressed,

then that could set up a bad week.

- Patient 88: Well, let's not do it, then. - Confidence, 88.

What do we say about that?

Confidence works best when we use the word "yes."

- I wrote that. - Hm.

Ahmed. [Warble]

Well, I'm gonna confidently say no to this one, Doc.

I-I think this is a terrible idea. Joey said it's a bad idea.

I'm ... I'm putting in my two-weeks no...

- Thanks, 88. - Happy birthday, T.E.R.R.Y.

[Control panel chirping]

Joey: Oh, Doc, I get it now.

- You're gonna be great. - God, it's ... it's unprecedented.

You're absolutely right. Thank you.

Let's drop right in where 88 is now.

It's gonna be sweet, dude. Are you ready?

Built ready. [Rapid beeping]

I have a question.

Let's do thi... [Warble]

[Drip!] Guys, cookies! Ah!

T.E.R.R.Y.: Hey, I'm in your brain.

- T.E.R.R.Y.? Doc? - Wait, how do I move?

If you're going to have a human experience,

you need to create an avatar.

[High-pitched whistle]

T.E.R.R.Y.: Can I have muscles, like, really big muscles?

[Keys clacking]

I want to be cool.

I want to be irresistible to both sexes, like, Randy.

This is starting to scare me a little bit.

[Ding!]

- Randy? - T.E.R.R.Y.?

Randy: Looking good, bud. [Loud belch]

My stomach hurts.

[Belches] Your guys' stomach hurts? I'm the only one?

- Woman: I made cookies. - T.E.R.R.Y.: Oh, [Laughs] I want one!

Dr. Roberts, I can smell them!

- I can taste, Dr. Roberts! - Cookies.

[Crackling] I love being human! I totally get it now!

Thank you so much, Nana!

[Bones crunch] Thank you!

- Thank you! - No, no, T.E.R.R.Y.! No!

- Thank you, Nana! - T.E.R.R.Y.!

Doctor! Stop! Get off of her! Nanny!

[Sobbing]

I'm worried.

How long do you think this is gonna grow?

- I don't care, but great eggs, Randy. - Oh, thanks.

Yeah, I'm an ovotarian going on about 10 years now.

- It's been 10 years? - 10 years.

Just eggs, protein bars, and sometimes chocolate.

I'm not an animal.

[88 Sobbing] Dr. Roberts: T.E.R.R.Y. we'll try and keep 88 out

but remember, you're sharing his dream. [Train whistle sounds]

T.E.R.R.Y.: Why did she do this to me, I loved her so much!

Are you hungry, baby?

Come here my baby. [Whistle sounds]

Come here, my sweet, little baby boy.

Oh, yeah. There's my little baby.

What a good boy. Mommy loves you.

[Screams]

[Both scream]

[Whoosh]

[Grunt, groans]

[Crows cawing]

_

Shit! Shit! [Alarm blares]

We are dangerously close to losing Patient 88.

- He's crowning on a coma. - This is gonna ruin T.E.R.R.Y.'s birthday.

88 focus!

So the dream interpretation for breast feeding

is the giving of life or the passing of a grandparent.

This is mortality! T.E.R.R.Y.'s afraid to die!

T.E.R.R.Y.'s afraid of death.

Okay, let's get T.E.R.R.Y. back to that funeral,

see if we can't get some answers. I'll create a gateway.

[Robotic beeps] [Gasps]

Okay, just so you know, this is why we discontinued the bars.

T.E.R.R.Y. you've got to get me out of here, bud.

[Whoosh]

[Humming]

Dr. Roberts: You're doing a great job in there, T.E.R.R.Y.

Yes, you are. Focus, listen to Nana.

[Speaking French]

_

__

_

T.E.R.R.Y.: Oh, my God, dead Nana, you're right!

I ... I figured it out! I've figured it all out.

I've figured out what life is!

Both: Yay!

You're all gonna die, 'cause you're humans.

Whereas, I'm not, I'm a robot. I'm gonna live forever.

Forever... [echoes] [Music]

You're only 21 once.

Wake me up, Doc! You're all gonna die.

I'm gonna live forever.

We are all gonna die!

We are all gonna die!

[Cheers, laughter] I'm proud of you.

T.E.R.R.Y.: I'm gonna go online and invite everyone I know.

Let's party! [Music continues]

? Someone died ?

? Gunshot right outside ?

? Your father ?

? He is dead ?

? I see him in my head ?

? Childhood's end ?

? Goodbye, my holy friend ?

? Love me ?

? It's a sin ?

? Can you see me caving in? ?

? Went down, went down, went down ?

? Went down, went down, went down ?

? On me, me, me ?

? Me, me, me ?

? Me, me, me ?

? Me, me, me ?

T.E.R.R.Y.: That night we made a promise

that we would all live forever inside this memory.

Because in the end, that's all we have ...

memories.

? Won't someone come ho-ho-ho-ho-ho-oh-ome ?

[Gasps] [Yells]

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