Original subtitles

[Music]

[Man speaking indistinctly on TV]

Dr. Roberts will revisit the session

to evaluate the symbolic things of your waking life.

[Music]

[Bell dings]

May I help you?

- I'm here to see Dr. Roberts. - Are you with the police?

- N-No. - I.R.S., FBI?

I-I have a 2:00 p.m.

Um, It's kind of hard to find the place.

Do you have someone picking you up after your procedure?

- Uh, no one knows I'm here. - Perfect.

- Reason for visit? - I saw the television commercial ...

- Um... - Depression, anxiety, going vegan?

- No. - Childlike frame?

- What? - Self-conscious about your weird mouth?

Uh, I think I'd just rather discuss it with Dr. Roberts.

- Okay. Sure. - Yeah, great.

Okay, just let me see your wrist.

You are patient 88.

And go ahead and fill out this waiver and form

as quickly and honestly as possible,

and we'll call your number when we're ready.

Okay.

- Patient 88. - Yeah?

- We're ready for you. - Oh, I didn't get to ...

That's okay. Right this way.

Joey: This will help with your session.

All outpatients take it. Trust me.

- Thank you, doctor. - [Chuckles] I'm not a doctor.

But that's the goal. Fingers crossed.

[Music]

- 88? This way. - Yeah.

[Title music]

"Dream Corp LLC."

sync & correction by f1nc0 ~ Addic7ed.com ~

Loser!

Go ahead, put the gown on, have a seat, and Dr. Roberts

- will be right with you. - Uh, I think I made a mistake.

Hello, patient!

Aah! [Chuckles]

Careful, Jumpy Jimperson.

You don't want to get out of that chair once you sit.

Trust me. [Chuckles]

Wow. You have the whitest teeth.

Jesus Christ!

You like hunting?

- Uh, no. - No? Okay.

So, what brings you in today, little guy?

Uh, I've been having some issues romantically.

- You know, physically. - Mm-hmm.

- In your tender breasts, or...? - No, it's, um ...

- Is it, um ... all right, it's here? - No.

- Is it down here? - Yeah. Yeah.

- All right. - So, do you think it's some ...

Shh. I'm gonna take your pulse.

Well, I will let the doctor know you're here.

He's trying to play pool with a rope.

- Huh? - Ding-dong.

Seems like I'm not the only one with a 3 1/2-inch floppy.

Welcome, patient. I'm Dr. Roberts.

You've met our lovely intern,

my associates Randy Blink and T.E.R.R.Y.

Oh, this is Hammond, uh, um, something or other.

and he's our nurse. He'll get you started.

I'll be right out there with you.

- Cheeto? - Uh, no, thank you.

- Forgot one signature. - Oh, should I read that?

T.E.R.R.Y.: The terms of service state

you understand the risks involved with this procedure,

that you agree Dream Corp LLC

will record and own your dreams for eternity.

- Just say you agree. - Just say I agree?

"I agree. I agree."

Brain map is clear. All lobes, all day.

So, patient 88, [echoing] impotence is ...

[Feedback] [Screams]

[Coughs]

So, the impotence is a common issue

we've helped many patients with in the past.

You're gonna want to put that gown on.

- No, I think I'd rather keep my clothes on. - Up to you.

Let's see what you're working with here.

Hmm? [Grunts]

[Coughs loudly]

You didn't want to take any pills for this?

- Cialis? - I did, but they stopped working,

and now my ankles have just swollen up.

Whoa! Wilford Brimley!

[Clears throat] Okay, a little pinch.

Aah!

Randy: P.O.V. cameras are in and activated.

Like my anus beads.

Okay, looks like we're ready to put you under.

It's gonna get pretty weird now.

- Say, "Ahh." - Ahh.

- Occupation? - No.

Roberts: Once you start dreaming,

we'll be able to guide you directly

to where your issue is hiding and re-wire it.

- Re-wire it? - It's amazing, right?

- And they want to shut us down. - Who does?

Let's calibrate you.

Man: Uh, d-doctor...

I-I think I made a mistake. I-I...

[Chuckles]

That's the third pant-piss this week.

T.E.R.R.Y." "I think I'd rather keep my clothes on.

I think I'd rather keep my clothes on."

[Chuckling]

Patient 88, [distorted voice] can you hear me?

Yeah.

Walk straight ahead for me.

Stay between the blue and the red lines.

Aah!

Look to your left. Tell me what you see.

It's one of those ... one of those sign spinners.

Uh, I hate those guys.

[Beeping]

T.E.R.R.Y.: Oh, my God, all right, so, last night,

Randy and I watched patient 12 sleep for like six hours.

Then I went online,

became an ordained minister, and married them.

Look at it. Check it.

- That's legal. - Congratulations.

Uh, what about your lovely wife?

- I got divorced. - You left the building?

- Nah, texted her. - Well, what did you say?

Uh, "I haven't seen you in 15 years. I don't love you."

- Two texts. - Well, I'm happy and sad for you.

[Screaming]

Hammond! Hammond!

- Sedation! - Comi-i-i-i-ng!

Comi-i-i-i-ng!

88, can ... can you hear me?

[Distorted voice] Can you hear me?

Why? Is everything okay?

[Normal voice] Yeah, no, I-I was just thinking about you.

[Sighs]

88, where are you now?

Man: I think I'm in high school.

88, what's for lunch?

[Distorted voice] Smell her lunch.

[Distorted voice] Happy birthday to you

? Happy birthday to you ?

She's actually really nice.

? Happy birthday ?

? Happy birthday ? [Laughter]

Don't let them push you around, 88.

[Normal voice] It's only your mind.

Ah. I'm going in.

Joey: Doctor, it says here

future turning to adolescence in this nerd

displays a classic case of social anxiety

and feelings of inadequacy ... No confidence.

Also, the eyes on his plate suggest a recent semination ...

- personally, professionally, or both. - It certainly does.

I actually didn't hear a word you just said.

But I'm sure it was very important.

You're doing a wonderful job, Joey.

Thank you, doctor. [Chuckles]

[Monitor beeping]

Birthday boy.

Oh, Christ! [Music]

Take a breath, 88.

[Reverberating] Cool.

Look at me. Look at me. Look at me.

Run away like that, you'll wind up getting us both killed.

- Killed? - That being said, you'll be fine.

- So, who is this lovely gem? - I-I don't know.

You're too short to be broke.

- Oh, it's my girlfriend, Denise. - Mm-hmm.

88, what is Denise trying to tell you?

Doctor, patient 88's credit card was declined.

So... what should I do?

Can you just rub it on your shirt and swipe it again?

88, focus.

It's my uncle ... Uncle Joey. Wait, doctor...

- Uncle Jesse? - Roberts: Randy.

[Computer beeps]

Uncle Joey.

[Distorted voice] Dave Coulier from "Full House."

[Laughter]

May I make love to Denise? Someone has to.

Man: Yeah. Why not? Thanks, buddy.

- Oh, yeah, yeah. - 88, stick up for yourself.

Why? He's famous.

Ohh!

Denise: [Moans]

Stick up for yourself, 88.

[Animals calling] Thank you, brother.

I'll now have another goeth with your fairest of ladies.

I will tend to thy mother.

Anything for you, brother.

Aah!

[Groans]

Welcome back.

I told you to wear the gown. Just curious ...

do you happen to have any other form of payment ...

uh, Bitcoin, gold chains?

His lack of employment has unearthed

a deep-seated insecurity from his childhood

that's carried over into everyday life ...

his schlubby appearance, a lack of self-confidence. [Sniffs]

- Mm-hmm. - I have a prescription for you.

What is it?

- It's a job. - Where?

- Here. - No.

A job will do wonders for your confidence.

It'll help you make boners.

Plus you got to pay your bill. [Chuckles]

Doctor's orders.

Welcome aboard.

Randy: Um, listen, if you're just gonna throw those

sweat pants out, I'll take them off your hands.

- I'll let you know. - Hmm.

Soon, or ... Oh, not ... Okay.

Joey: You've unearthed some deep issues today.

We'll be sure to e-mail you a report. Oops.

Now, make sure you park in employee parking.

- Don't let anyone see you. - On an empty stomach.

I'll add those to your tab.

Now, do you have time to take a brief survey?

How likely would you be

to recommend Dream Corp LLC to a friend?

- Likely? Not ... - Not likely.

? Whoo! ?

[Music]

Hammond: See you Monday, 88.

[Horn honks]

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