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GEORGE (OFFSCREEN): Want me to come pick you up?

LILY (ON PHONE): OK.

GEORGE (OFFSCREEN): OK.

Oh, that's what they tell me.

OK, all right.

Bye.

Hey, Merry.

Hey.

MERRY (ON PHONE): Hey.

-Sure.

Yeah, I'll come pick her up.

This is the best protein drink ever right here.

Gotta stay lean and fit.

Omega-3s, omega-6s, and a little bit of saturated fat.

But it's good fat.

Ah, maybe I'll cut a mango up.

Let's just try that one today.

Oh, man, that's a raw--

that's a pretty old mango.

This is what it's like when you're a bachelor.

You have old, raw stuff.

It-- it doesn't need to go in there.

Oh, I almost forgot--

forgot my, uh, coffee.

I've done that before.

But we're about to go pick up my daughter right now, which

is great because Lily lives close to me.

And it's wonderful.

But she lives with me half the time or with

mom half the time.

We have a good relationship.

Hey, sweetie.

There you go.

Lily, are you--

are you already texting this morning?

Oh, my gosh.

How many texts do you think you do a day?

-Oh, you don't do 1,000.

But you do a lot, don't you?

Are you-- a day?

See you about 2:00.

Are you excited about coming today?

Huh?

It's going to be fun, isn't it?

What are we do today?

Are we going to do two fillings today?

I think we are, aren't we?

Can I ask-- can I ask you another-- can

I ask another question?

Please?

Just one more question, just one.

I'm not going to ask two questions.

Can I ask three questions?

KID (OFFSCREEN): Yes.

GEORGE (OFFSCREEN): Can I ask you just like-- can I ask five

questions or one?

Five--

all right.

Question number five.

You ready?

[phone rings]

-Dr. Hardy's office.

This is Tina.

-If you was another age-- if you were another age, would

you like to be seven or eight?

If you-- could you--

which would you like to--

can I ask you another question?

-Dr. Hardy as a boss is just like he is as a friend.

I mean, we to him just like he's one of us.

We talk to him about anything.

-Not long after George set up his practice, we had some

students who had major dental work that needed to be done.

And George, after one phone call, took that on, basically

transformed the lives of a couple of kids by doing their

dental work totally free.

Didn't have to do that, but did it because he know that's

what those kids needed.

And it's change their lives.

-Which one do you like?

Which one do you like, sweetie?

-George Hardy is the most authentic, alive person.

A lot of people, as they get older, they get set in their

ways, and they get bored with their life.

Or they just get settled.

Somebody like George-- he's not settled.

You know?

He's alive.

-Will you kill me if I tell them?

-No, tell them.

Tell them.

-The reason that the home town folks love George is because

George dresses up like a roller blading tooth fairy in

the Christmas parade every year.

-I'm--

I'm trying to think of somebody that

might not like George.

I can't think of one person who doesn't like George Hardy.

I mean if his ex-wife likes him as much as I like him,

then, you know, I think it'd be pretty hard for anybody to

not like George.

-He has always been one of the most fun people that I know.

I don't think I've ever seen George when he wasn't smiling.

-Hey, Barbara.

-Hey, George.

How are you?

-Good, how about you?

-I'm fine.

Good to see you too.

He loves people, and he likes the reaction that

he gets from people.

-How you been?

You always answer the phone so great here.

I just--

-Oh, thank you.

Thank you.

-Really, honestly, every time I call down here.

Hey, how you doing?

-He is one of the-- the kindest and finest people that

I have ever seen in my life, even though he's my son.

He's just-- he's just fun to be around.

MICHAEL (OFFSCREEN): What did you think of your son's

performance in "Troll 2?"

-Oh, my gosh.

[laughs]

Let's say, he's--

he's not very grand.

-So where's that damn mirror?

-Well, I left in about the middle of the movie.

I just couldn't take it anymore.

And I thought, what is he doing?

-It's got to be your imagination or a

hallucination.

Are you still smoking dope, Holly?

-I've known George for years.

And he came in the store one day, and I asked him.

I said, you know, George, were you ever in a movie?

And he said, uh, yes.

Why?

And I said, well, I think I saw it.

I said, I saw this movie "Troll 2." And it was just

crazy because nobody in the community even knew that

George was in a film.

-We don't speak too much about it, but he did make his movie

about 17 years ago.

We didn't know whether to tell people about it or kind of

keep it quiet.

-I walked up to the counter, and I said to the fella--

I said, I'm here to pick up a movie that you've got on hold

called "Troll 2." And this guy that's standing next to me at

the counter-- he was getting another movie too.

And he looked at me, and he said, oh, my gosh.

He said, that's the worst movie I've ever seen.

[screams]

-Wait till you get home and watch the movie.

And he was right.

-It was so bad.

And he was so--

his accent and his acting--

it was just so--

just the strangest thing to watch.

-It was so not him.

You know?

Knowing the real person in seeing him doing--

using the word acting loosely.

It was just hilarious.

-Do you see this writing?

Do you know what it means?

Hospitality.

And you can't piss on hospitality.

I won't allow it!

-What are you going to do to me, daddy?

-Tightening my belt by one loop so I

don't feel hunger pains.

MICHAEL (OFFSCREEN): OK, pause it.

Rewind.

He's right there.

That's me, Michael Paul Stephenson.

And 18 years ago, I got the lead role in my first movie.

-Nilbog.

It's goblin spelled backwards!

MICHAEL (OFFSCREEN): At that time, the movie was titled

"Goblin." It was directed by Italian filmmaker Claudio

Fragasso and written by his wife, Rosella Drudi.

We filmed the movie over the course of three weeks in

small-town Utah in the summer of 1989.

It was hard work.

It was-- it was tough work.

But it was a small price to pay for stardom.

See, as a child actor, this was the big break that I was

waiting for.

I thought that I was going to be famous.

I couldn't wait to see my movie on the big screen.

But my movie never made it to the big screen.

In fact, the first time that I saw my movie was one year

later on Christmas morning.

I unwrapped my last present to reveal a VHS copy of my movie.

I was so excited to see this for the first

time with my family.

I grabbed the tape, and I stuck it in the VCR.

And then I pressed play.

[screams]

-90 minutes later, my childhood

dreams went up in flames.

I hated this movie.

I ran from "Troll 2," and I wanted nothing to do with it.

But that was before I realized that there was more to this

movie than I understood.

And this is my movie about that movie.

-Tightening my belt by one loop so I

don't feel hunger pains.

And your sister and mother will have to do likewise.

-I was practicing dentistry in Salt Lake

City, Utah at the time.

I think it was about 1989.

And on a whim, I auditioned for this movie.

And I did a few--

did dentistry about two or three days or four days.

And then I'd go back and shoot and then go back and do

dentistry and go back and shoot.

I remember doing that a few times.

The way I first found out that the movie was released was by

one of my patients.

My patient goes, I seen you in that movie, Dr. Hardy.

I seen you in that movie.

I go, what movie?

And he goes, "Troll 2." And I go, what?

What is the name?

What?

Within a day or two, I got a copy of "Troll 2" on VHS.

And I remember taking that thing and putting it and

watching my first scene with Margo on the couch.

-I'm worried about Joshua.

He's still seeing Grandpa Seth.

-When I was a kid, I had an imaginary playmate too.

-But it wasn't your dead grandfather.

-And I thought, oh, man.

This is-- this is bad.

This is really, really bad.

-Michael?

-Yeah?

-Who are the goblins?

-The goblins?

Oh, when it first started showing up on HBO and all

that, people would call me from all over

the freaking place.

George, you're on TV!

I'd just go, I know.

I know.

I know I've been on it.

Just stop watching it right now.

It gets worse.

-I went on a mission for my church, and I was in Spain.

And all of a sudden, one day I get this letter.

And it says, your movie's out.

And it's

called "Troll 2." -Damn.

There's no milk.

There's no coffee.

There's nothing.

Guys, didn't anyone remember to bring supplies?

-And the first time that I saw it, it was embarrassing.

I've got to admit, it was embarrassing because m acting

was horrible.

And I think I maybe hoped it wouldn't be as bad as it was.

But it was.

(SINGING) I'd like to dance with you, honey.

I'd like to have romance.

I was in a crappy movie.

And I'm a crappy actor.

And that's OK because it's not my thing that I do.

I do music.

I don't need to run from this film.

But I can understand like Darren and Connie and maybe

some of the other ones that do acting and are trying to make

a career of acting, how they, for a time, would try to just

kind of brush this away.

Who wants to put "Troll 2" on their resume, you know?

If someone pulls it out and watches it, you're

not getting the part.

-Oh, I think I recognize you.

Did you do a movie about goblins

or trolls or something?

And there's that part of you that wants to lie.

It's not on my resume.

You know?

But then you're like, oh, I shouldn't lie, because I he'll

just look me up.

And so you go, uh-huh, and leaving knowing I'm not

getting hired because of that.

-[groans]

-Release your instincts in the bathroom!

-Are you nuts?

Are you trying to turn me into a homo?

-It wouldn't be too hard.

If my father discovers you here, he'd cut off your little

nuts and eat them.

He can't stand you.

-I was horrible in it.

And I knew I was horrible in it.

And I was, like, devastated as a little kid who's just like--

you know?

Well, I was a pre-teen, even worse.

And I was just thinking, oh, my gosh.

I suck.

I looked it up on--

on IMDb, and it was like one of those slow motion moments

when you look down and you see, like, the ratings.

And it says, worst movie ever made.

And then I clicked on Comments.

That was a bad move.

They're not just saying, that's a horrible movie.

They're saying, you are a horrible actor in the movie.

So it's not just the movie.

It's you too.

So it is personal.

From the moment I saw it the first time on HBO, from that

very moment, I was like, oh, I just want it to go away.

I just want it to go away.

CHRIS (OFFSCREEN): We can do Holly's scene with the

boyfriend coming in the window.

-I don't know that one.

Are you Holly?

-Sure.

-I could be Holly.

-[groans]

-Release your instincts in the bathroom!

-Are you trying to turn me into a homo?

Are you crazy?

-It wouldn't be too hard.

If my father discovers you here, he'll cut off your

little nuts and eat them.

He can't stand you.

FEMALE SPEAKER (OFFSCREEN): This is an

Atkins Research Program.

We're a marketing research company.

We do focus groups and also mock trials

for the general public.

Today, we are throwing a "Troll 2" party.

We hold this annually.

And we're very proud of what we do.

-I first saw the movie when my friend Chris

introduced it to me.

We were at my house.

And he said, there's this movie you've got to see.

I've watched it a million times on VHS.

The most awful, worn, used, dated copy.

But we popped it in, and it was pure genius and joy.

We watched it a second time right away.

-The movie came right to video.

And my dad knew I loved horror films.

So he rented it for me, and he came over.

We would hang out every day.

And this was back in Detroit, where we're both from.

And we watched the movie, and then I showed it to my cousin.

And my cousin made fun of it.

He's like, it's the worst movie ever, ever made. (HIGH

PITCHED) Nilbog.

It's goblin spelled backwards.

GEORGE (OFFSCREEN): We just started watching it over and

over and over again.

Every time we watched it, we brought a new person.

Before you knew it, we had groups of 10, and

then groups of 15.

And then we said, you know, we've got to do this annually.

-Well, this is our fifth party.

-Fifth.

-Because we--

last year, we had two.

FEMALE SPEAKER (OFFSCREEN): And it gets bigger every

single time.

CHRIS (OFFSCREEN): It does.

-Who hasn't seen the movie?

Who has not seen the movie?

Aha.

You've seen the movie.

So we're putting these on everybody who are

virgins to the movie.

-I'm flowered.

-I've seen the movie.

-Have you seen it?

Aw, I'm so sorry, sweetie.

-I don't know anything about the movie other than I've

heard it's not the horror film it's supposed to be, which is

good because I don't like horror films.

-It came after "Troll," which has nothing to do with "Troll

2." There's not even trolls in the movie.

It's like, I'm going to go for a run and get some milk.

There's two guys shirtless in the bed.

And then the grandpa.

The sister dance.

It's so funny that there's no way you're going

to hate this movie.

-OK.

-I have tried to explain "Troll 2" to people who

haven't seen it.

But words don't really do it justice.

You really do just have to see the movie.

Because I can tell you, well, it's about a boy who goes on

vacation with his family.

And it turns out that everyone there wants to turn them into

plants to eat them.

And his grandfather, who's dead, is helping him on this

quest to rescue his family.

-Grandpa!

-Um, it just doesn't sound very

compelling to most people.

And then they're kind of like, oh, I'm really glad you're

excited about that movie.

It sounds great.

But if you were actually to see the

film, I mean, you just--

I feel like you wouldn't-- you'd have to, like, not have

a heart or something to not like it.

-Oh, my god.

You didn't see it?

-You haven't seen "Troll 2?"

-Put it in now.

No matter what you're doing, you drop what you're doing.

You go, oh, you haven't seen "Troll 2?"

We're watching it now.

-I'll watch it with you, and I watched it yesterday.

And I'm excited it to watch it today.

-I watched it twice this morning, but I'll watch it

again with you right now.

-I'll watch it again with you because I know that you're

going to love it.

-Thank you all for coming tot he fifth annual Los Angeles

"Troll 2" party.

[cheering]

-I mean, I've heard people say "Troll 2" is a religion.

And that makes complete sense to me because in a religion,

what you're doing is you're passing your religion on to

other people.

You're sharing what it is about this that helps you and

that, you know-- and that moves you through life.

And that's what people do with this movie.

They pass the DVD around like it's the Bible.

-All right.

We're going to start.

-By every conceivable measure, this is a bad film.

By every conceivable measure that you've ever learned in

film school, if you've seen five movies in your lifetime.

But again, it's all fun.

I mean, you know, bad food is bad, and bad books are bad.

But bad movies are not always bad.

-You guys have, uh, "Troll 2?"

-That is in the holy fucking shit section.

-The holy fucking shit section.

-Yeah, just right over here.

-Both are on here.

But it's pointing to "Troll 2," right?

-That's the one that deserves the holy fucking shit.

-OK.

When I heard rumblings of "Troll 2" becoming more like a

cult film and more popular, I thought to myself, hey, there

must be something to this.

It says, hey, George, thank you for adding me.

I just wanted to let you know that "Troll 2" is one of my

favorite films of all time.

Thank you for being a part of cinematic history.

You are a lucky man to have acted in such a magical movie.

Wow.

Do you have 11 pages of messages?

-No.

-Well, I do.

And I've been on Myspace enough time that you have.

I said, is this really true?

Is it really a cult phenomenon?

You know, I just found it hard to believe that--

that it really was that popular.

-We were supposed to do like a routine here at UCB for a show

called the It Sucked Awards.

It's like a yearly roundup of t things that sucked.

And that George saw that a copy of the "New York Times"

with the little write up of, and John Gemberling showed

clips from "Troll 2," which won, like, the It

Sucked movie category.

-And I said, hey, my name is George Hardy.

I'm from the movie "Troll 2." And all of a sudden, I hear in

the background, oh, my god.

You guys, it's-- it's George Hardy on the phone.

-This is the most surreal fucking thing I've ever

experienced in my life.

This is the dad from "Troll 2."

DARREN (OFFSCREEN): First time in New York.

Have you been here before?

-I haven't.

What time does the thing start?

-Uh, 9:00.

-9:00?

-I don't know.

I don't know.

I don't know what to expect.

-I hear they sold out.

I hear that the may even have standing room only.

I hear there may be people turned away.

-I put up one post on Myspace, one, saying,

we're having this screening.

And within two days, I had over 100 respondents.

JOHN (OFFSCREEN): We didn't do anything.

CURTIS (OFFSCREEN): We really did nothing.

JOHN (OFFSCREEN): I mean, we can't--

CURTIS (OFFSCREEN): The thing sold itself.

We cannot take credit.

-I came from LA.

-Cape Cod.

-New Jersey.

-Connecticut.

-This guy right here came all the way from North Carolina.

-We would've walked here for this from West Virginia, man.

-Just numbers wise, there were the most people here that, up

to that point, had ever--

ever squeezed into the room.

-The energy inside that place was just amazing.

-"Troll 2" is the best movie in the world, the world.

-It's unmatched by any movie.

I've gone from movie store to movie store to try and find

another movie that even comes close. "Troll 2" just blows

them out of the water.

-All these guys just go, you rock, man.

You rock.

You're my hero.

-I'm smitten right now.

I'm speechless.

-You would have thought that, like, Robert De Niro had come

into the building.

GEORGE (OFFSCREEN): They want our autographs.

They're shaking when they see us.

And I'm looking around, just going, wow.

Wow.

This is bizarre.

-It's just a new thing for me to be signing autographs,

signing girls' t-shirts, you know, to be taking pictures

with people.

And in the back of my mind, I'd be like going, I'm just in

this crappy movie.

-I think of the, you know, shot composition,

cinematography, acting, directing, writing.

Few movies fucked each of those up completely and still

retained their eminent watch-ability.

-Yes.

-There's not even a movie screen.

It's like a projector screen.

There's a column, terribly placed.

-It's a horrible place to watch a movie

-In eye line.

-It is like one of the worst places to

try to watch a movie.

But people loved it.

FEMALE SPEAKER (IN MOVIE): Don't tell my father, but he's

coming with us tomorrow.

[laughter]

-It's really hard to fathom that this film, that was shot

for a couple $100,000, 17 years later is being played to

300 adoring fans.

[applause]

GEORGE (OFFSCREEN): My heart is beating,

like, 100 miles a minute.

People clapping and people cheering and throwing their

arms up and yelling.

And I just thought, you know what?

Just go out there and have fun with these

folks, you know, tonight.

[chanting]

-Let's see, um, OK.

You can't piss on--

[cheering]

AUDIENCE (OFFSCREEN): Come on!

Come on!

AUDIENCE (OFFSCREEN): Tighten that belt!

-I can't really tighten my belt.

AUDIENCE (OFFSCREEN): [shouts]

-You can't piss on hospitality!

I won't allow it!

[cheering]

GEORGE (OFFSCREEN): These people were going nuts.

They were applauding.

They were going crazy.

I don't feel that kind of feeling when

I'm drilling a cavity.

It's when you're walking on stage, and you've got 300

adoring fans go crazy over you.

It was ama--

I was amazed.

I had no clue.

And then I knew it was--

there was something to this.

It was a cult phenomenon.

-Two decades after it was made, "Troll 2" is finally

finding an audience.

And the fans are not necessarily

all completely crazy.

-I'd always wanted to see "Troll 2" in a theater, but

I'd never thought it would happen.

We had really hoped that it would sell out.

But it actually ended up being about over 100 people that

couldn't even make it into the theater.

-I have never seen a line that far around the Alamo.

It's crazy.

-It is sold out for tonight.

-This is unbelievable.

-This film is like aliens saw what movies were like from our

transmissions, and then they tried to make a film

themselves that Earthlings would like.

-We'd all found "Troll 2" on our own.

We'd watch it every single weekend.

-I saw it at least seven times in the first week after being

introduced to it.

-Everyone had to become obsessed with it.

We'd brainwashed them into it.

-My friends and I thought we were like the only people in

the world who knew about this.

-Oh, my god.

-Getting to meet some of these guys was really a pleasure.

And George Hardy, I think I'll probably

stalk for several months.

-"Troll 2," ladies and gentlemen.

-Enjoy it.

[cheering]

GEORGE (OFFSCREEN): Hey, nice to meet you.

-I love you.

-If you're unhappy, just watch "Troll 2."

-(CHANTING) "Troll 2," "Troll 2," "Troll 2."

-You're so awesome.

I brought the VHS, the original, because I am a

goblin in disguise.

-I love "Troll 2!"

-Yeah!

-It's time to watch the movie.

Come on in.

-And you can't piss on hospitality.

I won't allow it!

-I won't allow it!

[cheering]

-You just never realize that it reached as many people as

it did.

-Nice to meet you.

Oh, my god.

Wow.

-It's the happiest night of my life.

-Your friend and mine, the rich man's Craig T Nelson,

George Hardy!

[applause]

-Mr. George Hardy!

[applause]

-What's weird though-- and it-- and it's the reason the

movie's great.

You guys are so genuine.

-He's so sincere.

He's so genuine.

He's exactly why we love "Troll 2."

-I'm sure George Hardy is a great dentist, but I respect

him as an actor.

-You know the trouble with being psychologically

disturbed is that no matter how--

how you get out of it and get back to normalcy, as soon as

you tell people you had mental problems, they still treat you

like you're nutty.

I walked in ever decreasing concentric circles until I

found my head up my ass.

I was sitting in my house on 13th East, and I couldn't

decide whether to have a hard boiled egg, a

scrambled egg, or eggs.

I couldn't make that decision.

I was there, stuck.

And a friend said, let me take you to the hospital.

And they took me right in.

You know, I like to drive without a seat belt.

I really like the feeling of driving without a seat belt.

I was in the mental hospital at the University of Utah, and

they gave me days off to go out.

I called my agent.

She said, they're shooting a movie out in Park City, an

Italian film company.

And you go out there.

I won't charge you if you get the part.

I went there.

They said, come back again.

And when I came back, they said, the person who was

supposed to do it didn't show up.

So you can do it.

-Can I help you?

-Coffee.

-There's no coffee here in Nilbog.

It's the devil's drink.

-Eggs.

-[grunts]

-You know, this is me.

This is who I am.

It's--

you know, it's-- you know a lot about people by the-- by

the toys they have.

These are my people.

These are my people.

If they were to run for office, I'd vote for them.

I smoked an enormous amount of pot then to stay sane.

And when I got on the set, I had no idea what it all meant

or what I was doing or what I was saying.

I don't know where we went or what we did.

And I have no idea of what the total movie was.

And I didn't see it until 20 years later.

And I was amazed how creepy I looked.

I looked at that person, who looked like this.

And I realized I was really troubled.

I wasn't acting, I could tell you that.

I wasn't acting.

That was a troubled person talking.

It was a terrible experience, making that movie.

It was always cold.

It was always remote.

And I remember there was a little kid there, a little

Mormon kid who was really a pain in the ass.

And he was the star, and I wanted to kill him.

And I was in the scene with him where I said, try this.

You'll like it.

And I really wanted to feed him that green stuff.

I wanted to grab his head and put it in it.

I just couldn't stand him.

The dentist, the one who played the father was the

Southern accent, called me.

That's how I found out about it.

I was in the audience.

I didn't want to go up on the stage.

-Don Packard showed up and was sitting in the audience.

-Yeah.

He wasn't even, like, necessarily wanting to be part

of the Q&A.

-We had to, like, go and ask him.

And he was like, oh, you want me to-- oh, uh, OK.

-Like, you flew to New York just to watch this?

-And the woman sitting next to me said, you were great.

She kept saying, you were great.

I--

I was won over.

-This is pretty incredible.

I'm pretty giddy about it.

Would the owner of the general store--

[cheering]

-And I--

I just--

I went like this, and everybody applauded.

I was thrilled.

I went like this.

They all applauded when I came out.

And somehow, I was freed.

I wasn't self conscious.

It was really a golden experience for me.

I never felt that good in all my life, really.

I never was thrilled at being who I was until that moment

in-- in Manhattan.

-Hello, my name is Mr. K. I'm somewhere here in Austria in

the middle of the woods.

I'm not just cold, I'm freezing.

And I'm a troll.

What else?

I'm going to eat you.

[growls]

-My name is Kacper Radecki I'm a "Troll 2" fan, and I live

here in Austria.

My desk in school is full of "Troll 2."

-I'm so excited that a movie can mean that much to people

without being pushed into it.

The-- the audiences of "Troll 2" had to have

found it on their own.

They had to be probably a certain type of person who

would rent videos that they've never heard of and someone who

watches movies more than once.

-"Troll 2" is something very special.

It's a movie you can watch 1,000 times, and

it won't get boring.

It's just so perfectly bad.

-I realized there's nothing more intelligent that I could

do as a 31-year-old man than get a "Troll 2" tattoo.

-I can't stand tattoos.

But--

JESSE (OFFSCREEN): It's so interactive.

You, um, personalize the film.

And you take some sort of ownership.

-We bought a kit to make actually like a profession

latex mask.

-Yeah, we like--

-It's the first time, you know.

We'd never sculpted anything.

-We'd never done it.

I've never sculpted any clay before.

-It took about six weeks to complete.

We didn't know how it was going to turn out, you know,

being the first time we made these costumes.

-It turned out really well.

-If I could get everyone's attention, we're going to

start the Trollympic game.

So any-- everyone who wants to participate, just come over

here.

-Go!

-I would always invite people over to watch

"Troll 2" with me.

So I don't know if that would count as a party.

But actual, like, official "Troll 2" parties--

this is my third.

-Hi, my name's Adam Kourelis.

I'm the one that brought "Troll 2" to Iraq.

-What I learned from this movie is that whenever someone

goes like this towards me, I--

I--

I won't eat whatever they give me.

-I basically made the "Troll 2" video game

because I love the movie.

And I just--

I wanted to make a good game.

All right.

We're at Nilbog.

I'm shooting double decker baloney

sandwiches at the goblins.

These are the strong ones.

Yeah.

-My friend Steve, also a venue artist here--

I showed him "Troll 2" probably about like a year and

a half ago, right around the time we were starting "Guitar

Hero II." And he made, you know, one of his levels the

high school gym.

And he called it Nilbog High.

You know, and we-- we all that thought was great.

-I actually wrote the, uh, sequel, "Troll 2, Monstrous

Beings." This is a close figure on

the side of the road.

Michael gets on the CB.

And he says, hey, son, to Elliott.

Elliott says, yes, dad.

I hate--

I hate to see--

-If this movie is resonating so strongly with all of these

people, what is beneath the surface that is this kind of

unconscious thing that is getting under our skin?

-I don't think it's the worst film ever made.

I have seen worse films than this.

But it's--

it's not necessarily that it's bad.

It's odd.

It's really odd.

It doesn't make sense.

And it's like, a lot of bad movies, you get the impression

that people that make them just didn't know

how to make a film.

This is like the people knew how to make a film but had

suffered quite a heavy blow to the head.

-When the time comes, you light the wick

and throw the bottle.

I'll create some confusion with this.

JESSE (OFFSCREEN): It's genuine.

There's no irony going on, a film that genuinely expresses

a story, a totally whacked story too.

-There's sandwiches for tonight in here.

It will go easier if you eat them.

-The best bad movies are not deliberately bad, always.

You know, like, the most fondly remembered stinkers are

the movies that people went all out, and they tried their

best and totally failed, but gloriously.

-What we want from a film is honesty and--

and sincerity.

We want to feel like these people really care about what

they're making, even if it is really awful.

That's why Ed Wood is still so highly regarded, because Ed

Wood wasn't just making trash.

He really believed in what he was making.

And that makes a big difference.

You know, I see some of these films.

And I think, these are people who have just thrown this

together cynically.

But there isn't a cynicism in "Troll 2."

But there isn't a cynicism in "Troll 2."

[suspenseful music playing]

[organ music playing]

[music playing]

[music playing]

[music playing]

-Oh, boy.

What attention, what suspense.

-It's Claudio.

Scott, I want to introduce you.

Scott, Claudio.

-How are you?

Nice to meet you.

-Good.

How are you?

-Fine.

-It's an honor.

I'm a huge fan, huge fan.

I saw this movie when I was 15.

-No.

-Yeah.

Now, um, I produce horror movies.

So it's amazing.

-Yes.

-Yes, absolutely.

-So good to see you again.

-I remember.

-Oh, of course.

Of course.

Yes, you yelled at me a lot.

-Oh, Chris.

-Do you remember me?

-So we're all here.

It's pretty great.

-In LA, yeah?

-Yeah, right here in Los Angeles.

-That's it, yeah.

You're right in it.

You're right here.

GEORGE (OFFSCREEN): This is pretty good, pretty good.

-Hello, how are you?

Fine.

-How you doing?

-Have you seen this movie before?

-Yeah.

Yeah.

-What you think about it?

-What was that?

-What do you think about it?

-Oh, we have a great time watching this movie.

Oh, yeah.

-Ciao.

Bye, bye.

-"Troll 2." Yeah.

-Did you see the movie?

-Yeah, it was awesome.

-What do you think about it?

MALE SPEAKER (OFFSCREEN): It's amazing.

-It's amazing?

-It's a miracle.

I love it. "Troll 2." Woo!

-Grandpa Seth has been gone for more than six months now.

You were at the funeral, and I know it was very

difficult for you.

It was also very difficult for your father and for

Holly and for me--

[laughter]

-Every single bad movie out there wants to be this film.

It wants to be "Troll 2." Most bad movies only have, like,

two redeeming qualities or a couple of scenes you share

with your friends.

The thing with "Troll 2," it delivers

through the entire film.

[laughter]

-Um, we have about 90%, I believe, of the cast here.

[applause]

-We have the director.

[cheering]

MALE SPEAKER (OFFSCREEN): Why is the movie called "Troll 2"

when there are zero trolls in the movie?

-[speaking italian]

-I don't understand it.

-Why is the movie called "Troll 2," and there are no

trolls in the film?

MICHAEL (OFFSCREEN): How does it feel that you were the

director of the worst movie ever made?

-I feel I didn't do the worst movie.

I did a very good movie.

If they all say, worst movie, ah, them

problem, not my problem.

My problem is to shoot a lot of movies.

I want to shoot a lot of movies.

I can't--

I can't stop.

[country music playing]

-The old house is pretty much the same thing, except it's

run down a lot more.

But it was run down quite a bit then.

-They picked the right house.

-I guarantee you, there's some mental insanity here, some

mental insanity.

So this is really the perfect spot for "Troll 2." I

remember, I come out like this.

ROBERT (OFFSCREEN): How are you doing?

-And I come out and kind of go, oh, god.

And then I go--

and for some reason--

-OK, OK.

-How-- question.

I can remember sitting down with Michael and Connie and

Margo, and we would take the script.

And we would try to decipher what it meant.

We would sit there for hours, looking at this script and try

to do, you know, an analysis on the scenes.

And we couldn't do it.

How did I know that there was a fire extinguisher right

there the whole time?

-And I thought, well, this guy's famous.

He knows what the hell he's doing.

And I mean, I was just, whatever.

You know?

[laughing]

-We sat out here on this curb in front of the house--

Connie and I-- during our break.

And we were looking at this script.

And she said, I'm really uncomfortable

with the nuts line.

We came up with something that was, uh, we thought, more PG.

Then we tracked down Claudio, and we said, Claudio, we

really think this will work better.

It's a little more PG.

This is how American teenagers talk.

And he said, I know how American teenagers talk.

This is how American teenagers talk.

-That's not how you do that.

That's not American.

And he would always say that to me.

I don't know if he said that to you a lot.

But he would always tell me what was American.

[music playing]

-There was a lot of times I've seen they were trying to add

something or trying to make it seem a little bit

more natural to us.

But it-- it--

he had a real-- you know, had a real vision of what he

wanted to see.

-Michael, who are the goblins?

No, no, I say--

-Who are the goblins?

-I say--

I say like, Michael--

you can-- you are an actor.

You cannot laugh.

-OK.

I will not.

I will not.

-You must be serious.

OK?

-All right.

-Say, who are the goblins?

-The goblins?

-That was nice.

-For the goblins, they weren't looking for talent.

You know, we didn't even have to match the brilliant level

of acting that was going on in the rest of the film.

They just--

they were just looking at heights.

-I remember them putting this--

almost like a burlap bag shirt on us.

And they put gloves on us.

And the gloves were way longer than my hands.

And so they kind of would tape them on to the burlap bag.

I had no clue what the movie was about.

-It was kind of hard to get a straight answer as to exactly

what the nature of the project was.

But we were excited.

We were told it was low budget.

But, you know, we-- we know that low budget is kind of a

relative term.

After a few days, we realized this was

really, really low budget.

And by, I think it was probably three days into

shooting that we kind of--

-You will remember the director.

-Yes.

Oh, Claudio.

-How are you?

-As we started shooting more and more, it started to get

more confusing rather than less.

And it was like each day we were on the set, we knew less

about what this movie was actually supposed to be.

-And action.

-You see this writing?

[laughing]

CLAUDIO (OFFSCREEN): Come on, say the line!

-You know what it means?

Hospitality!

And you can't piss on hospitality.

I won't allow it!

-What are you going to do to me, daddy?

-OK, Joshua.

You want to know what it feels like to have hunger pains?

Well, I'm tightening my belt buckle by one notch so I don't

feel hunger pains.

[laughing]

-No, no.

Be serious.

Repeat.

-There was a recurring problem on the set that was this

language barrier that we all had to deal with.

-One of the Italian ADs--

-Right.

---said, if you would all please to be following me

upstairs now.

And we were out there in the middle of the canyon.

There was no--

there were no stairs or anything.

I mean, just going up this slope.

-When I call you, and I say action, you come, and you do.

You go around.

Go around, and after, you come up.

OK.

We start with one with the other.

Oh, eat.

Oh, finally, we can eat.

Oh, OK.

Blah, blah, blah.

GEORGE (OFFSCREEN): Claudio speaks a lot better English

than he did 18 years ago.

I mean, there was no way we could understand things like

that last time he worked with us.

-I--

I really couldn't understand what they wanted me to do.

-Open, open, open.

Come on, come on.

Open and say the line.

Say the line.

Say the line.

-The Italians did kind of annoy me.

They're really intense.

They were really intense people, very bossy.

I feel about as confused as I did when we were doing it.

-Come on.

Don't talk with me.

There is a camera.

Don't laugh.

Stay serious.

-I had a yellow shirt, and it had a logo on it and

a logo on the back.

But halfway through filming, they lost my shirt.

And we'd already filmed like half of my scenes.

And so they're like, oh, that's fine.

Go buy a yellow shirt.

And I was just like, you want me to buy the yellow shirt?

I'm like, isn't there like someone to go

buy the yellow shirt?

Isn't there someone in wardrobe?

They're like, no.

Go buy a yellow shirt.

-They took my shoes--

mind you, my shoes, not theirs, my black

Converse high tops.

And they screwed them into the base of the pot, where I stood

for almost 14 hours in make up.

-We really were trying to make a good movie.

We really were.

Um, it just didn't turn out that way.

-I've always loved bad movies.

And I always thought, god, it'd be great

to be in a bad movie.

But I had no idea when I was making it that I was making

that bad a movie.

So it's wonderful to find out that yeah, I made a bad movie,

a really bad movie that got to be famous.

GEORGE (OFFSCREEN): This is very familiar.

You go up here and take a right, go off to the right.

I remember when I filmed "Troll 2," I would go pick up

Margo and take her to the set.

And so I kind of remember a little bit of where she lives.

It says, no trespassing except for US mail, no dogs, no

literature.

Do not ring the bell except by documented

request by the owner.

Violators will be prosecuted.

Wow.

Oh, god.

This is crazy.

What in the world?

What are we doing?

-What's the worst thing that could happen?

-That she comes to the door with a gun, or she shoots

through the door with a gun.

I mean, she could have mental issues.

A bullet comes through the door.

-George, don't say that.

-Well, that's the worst that can happen.

MICHAEL (OFFSCREEN): You want to do it?

-Yeah, it's like pulling a tooth.

Let's just go ahead and do it.

MARGO (OFFSCREEN): Who is it?

-It's Michael and-- and George Hardy.

We--

is it you, Margo?

MARGO (OFFSCREEN): Yeah.

-Hey, Margo.

It's George.

I was in "Troll 2" with you.

-Hey.

It's Margo.

-Hey, Margo.

MARGO (OFFSCREEN): Oh, hi.

What are you doing here?

-We--

we are--

we came--

George actually came in front.

I'm Michael.

I played your son in the movie.

MARGO (OFFSCREEN): Hi.

Hi.

-Do you remember Michael?

-Do you remember?

MARGO (OFFSCREEN): Yeah.

-Yeah.

And I-- do you remember me?

MARGO (OFFSCREEN): Yeah, I do.

-How are you?

MARGO (OFFSCREEN): I'm good.

How are you?

-Good.

MARGO (OFFSCREEN): You just came to say hi?

-Yeah.

We did.

MARGO (OFFSCREEN): Crazy.

-I don't know--

I know, it is crazy.

-We--

I don't know if you've known--

-We've been trying to find you.

You're the last one of all of our cast members to find.

We couldn't--

of the major cast members.

We couldn't find you.

So now, are you working now?

Or are you-- are you doing auditions for anything now?

Or--

-Well, I haven't been auditioning in

the last, like, year.

I don't really have an agent right now.

I did have one.

You know, I'm just kind of like edging into it.

I'm waiting for things in my life to kind of settle down a

little bit.

-Sure.

-Because I just-- it's complicated now for me to do

things.

-Sure, yeah.

-It's just complicated.

It's just complicated.

I learn all the time new things about acting.

Even though I may not be acting every single day or

doing parts every single day, I watch movies, and I take

mental notes about what I liked about what those

characters are doing.

And very often, I write it down on a piece of paper and

stick it on my mirror in my bedroom.

And then I look at it, you know, until it

sinks into my head.

Hold on.

Let me get a drink of water.

Let me get you some water.

There's some warm water.

That will help you out a little bit.

OK.

Taking care of my mother is easy.

She's easy.

I feel sad for her having to not be able to

use one of her legs.

I feel sad for her because she's always been acting her

whole entire life.

You doing OK?

We're going to have dinner pretty soon.

They're almost done.

This has lasted quite a lot longer than I thought.

-Yes.

-Yeah.

But we're going to have dinner pretty soon.

And then we'll-- we'll get ready to go to bed.

I just made it me.

I just did it the way I would do it because I felt that we

were just like one person, you know?

And I could just take the words and let them come out of

my mouth just the way I would do it.

And so it became a really simple thing.

-Joshua, start singing.

Come on.

Sing that song I like so much.

-I don't feel like singing, mom.

-Just sing.

-(SINGING) Row, row, row your boat, gently down the stream.

-(SINGING) Merrily, merrily, merrily, merrily,

life is but a dream.

-I remember you crying out in that voice that just sent

shudders through my spine.

(WHISPERING) Mom, mom.

-They're eating my mom.

-And I really believed that you had lost your mother.

It was great.

I don't really feel sad that I never had children.

It's not that I don't like children.

I like children.

But I really don't think that I could be a real life mom.

Joshua, sing that song I like so much.

-But mom, I don't feel like singing.

-Come on, sing.

-(SINGING) Row, row, row your boat, gently--

[laughing]

-Why can't-- are you laughing at my voice?

-No, I'm laughing at me because--

[laughing]

-I know.

That's what the choir instructor did.

-I just never imagined we'd be doing this.

OK.

You ready?

Let's do it again.

[SINGING IN ROUNDS - "ROW, ROW, ROW YOUR BOAT"]

-After I watched the movie, and I saw it, and it was over,

and I turned off the TV, I just sat back.

And I said, wow, this is great.

This is really great.

It was really good.

It's a simple, elegant, down to earth, real, natural,

actor, actor movie.

You know, most of the movies that are around now are fast

paced and car chases and car crashes and explosions and

fires and murders and blood and gore and killing.

But you compare our movie to a Katharine Hepburn and Humphrey

Bogart movie, and it fits in because our movie was all

about people and the experiences those people were

experiencing, just as "Casablanca" and those movies

are about people and the experiences they're

experiencing.

GEORGE (OFFSCREEN): Well, I was ready to go.

I was ready to get the heck out.

And so I kept putting my jacket on.

And the old grandmother goes, (RASPY VOICE) it ain't going

to do you any good to put the jacket on.

That ain't going to make them leave any earlier.

It was just a strange day.

So I don't want to ever do it again.

Hey, how you doing?

-Fine.

-Good.

I'm Dr. Hardy.

How you been?

You don't know who I--

-Oh, yeah.

You're the troll.

-That's right.

You know it.

Have you seen the movie?

-No.

-You hadn't seen it?

-Mm-mm.

-Well, you need to come tomorrow.

I mean--

-Probably will.

-Sunday.

Have you heard about it?

-I read it in the paper.

-Did you read it in the paper?

You think you might come?

-Yeah, I might.

-Oh, great.

Well, this is a little flyer about it.

We're going around the neighborhood, just telling

folks about it.

-I was talking to George's sister Mollie, who teaches in

our school system, and I said, you know, with all of this

hype about "Troll 2," why in the world don't we try to do

something here as a fundraiser for the school?

And of course, George being the put the cameras on me sort

of fella, you know, the thoughts of that--

he jumped on that and ran with it.

-They're going to come.

I know they're going to come.

These folks will see that, and there's no question.

How many does that seat again in there?

-260.

-260?

Oh, great.

Did you say you're getting some people interested?

-Yeah, some.

I guess you--

you told some people.

-Oh, I have, yeah.

We're putting out flyers because I was in a movie back

in 1990-- oh, that's your address.

It's the worst film ever made of all time.

-All right, then.

-But this is a movie that I was in back in the '90s.

-Yeah, mm-hmm.

-Yeah.

-You want me to hang this up for you?

-Yeah, would you hang it up?

-I don't mind.

-Now you had told me that it had a pretty big cult

following.

-Huge.

-Out, you know.

-All over the world.

We've got fans in England, Iceland.

Honestly, I'm like a cult luminary when I go to these

screenings.

It's just hilarious, Barbara.

I would never have dreamed.

But it's been a lot--

-George has told me that it has spread.

The interest has spread or cult, I guess

you would call it.

Yeah, I teach Sunday school class.

I got about 50 in my Sunday school class.

So Sunday morning, I'm going to issue an

invitation for all of them.

-Lily, can you put some of these up at the school?

-These are?

-You don't want to?

You see that poster right there?

-Uh-huh.

-"Troll 2."

-Mm-hmm.

-Do you know anything about it?

-Mm-mm.

-You don't?

Are you serious?

Oh, my gosh.

-It's a movie or something?

-Yeah, it's a movie.

OK.

Well, I was in that movie.

-I thought I remembered seeing that in the paper.

-Right, right, right, right.

-Yeah, mm-hmm.

-I must do it.

I must do it.

I must do it.

And he goes, [groans]

like that.

And he-- and he's going to pee all over the table.

So then the next scene is just me going upstairs.

And I go, you can't piss on hospitality!

I won't allow it!

And I was, you know, doing that too.

It's a crazy, movie.

-It sounds like it's a good movie.

-You need to come see this thing.

-I'm going to try, I promise.

-You got any plans Sunday?

-No, just going to church.

-Well, good.

That'd be a great, fun thing to do after

church, come see this.

But anyway, we'll go over your treatment plan in just a

second.

-OK.

OK.

-I think George was born an actor.

I think dentistry is just a stage he's on.

I really do.

I think he missed his calling when this was not his lifelong

profession.

I mean, anybody who's known George early on, teenage

years, college years--

everything he's done has been something that could have led

him to this.

Being a cheerleader at Austin, he was in front of thousands

and thousands of people at a time.

He was just a natural.

-George always wanted to be a movie star.

I think that was what was in his heart.

He was always an entertainer.

He was, um--

he was--

always liked to be in the limelight and be

in the middle of--

the center of attention of anything that he did.

-I was in a movie back in 1989.

It's called "Troll 2," and it's become known as the worst

movie of all time.

-Really?

-Yeah.

-Hmm.

-So you're in for a treat today.

Ain't she, Rachael?

-Yeah.

Can't wait to hear what you have to say about this.

-What'll happen is you'll just let your head up.

And this is just going to go around your hair in the back.

-OK.

-And I just put it on.

And you should be able to look out.

-OK.

-So it's pretty cool.

Now, if you want to stop me and ask me any

questions, just stop.

Raise your hand and stop and ask, OK?

-I would hate to be in his dental chair right now because

I know his focus is not on what he's doing in terms of

dental work.

It's getting ready for this weekend and the "Troll 2"

premier in Alex City.

-You know that movie, "Troll 2," Dr. Hardy was in?

MALE SPEAKER (ON PHONE): I just read about it.

-Did you read the paper this morning?

MALE SPEAKER (ON PHONE): Mm-hmm.

At 5:00 on Sunday afternoon?

-Yeah, at Playhouse Cinemas.

Are you going to come?

MALE SPEAKER (ON PHONE): Uh-huh.

-Hey, um, we were calling because--

you know George was in that movie, "Troll 2?"

MALE SPEAKER (ON PHONE): Mm-hmm.

-Have you heard?

They're having like a--

FEMALE SPEAKER (OH PHONE): Hello?

-Mrs. Roxanna.

FEMALE SPEAKER (OH PHONE): Mm-hmm.

-Hey, this is Micki.

Dr. Hardy-- you know he was in the movie "Troll 2?"

FEMALE SPEAKER (OH PHONE): [laughs]

Yeah.

-We're earning our money today.

-We're showing it this Sunday in Alex City because we've

shown it on different screenings all

over the United States.

I don't tell too many people about them-- about it.

Because it's the worst film ever made of all time.

So--

anyway, today, we'll get started with you in just a few

minutes.

-OK.

-All right.

Good.

Thank you for coming to this.

-I'm so excited.

Hi.

-You're all going to enjoy this thing.

Thanks for coming.

I know.

-You're the star of the movie.

-Thank you.

I was concerned that not very many people were coming.

I kept trying to tell myself, don't have any

expectations around it.

But then when more and more people showed up, it made me

feel a lot better.

-Get your t-shirts!

Get your t-shirts!

Get your t-shirts!

Dr. George Hardy right here on a t-shirt.

-This crowd was much more serious watching the film.

We were cracking up.

But then behind us, I mean, there was

just like Dr. Vasdela.

She was just like--

she was really trying to figure it all out.

Everybody--

they know what's about to come, and they all laugh at

everything beforehand.

-Right.

-But here, it's just serious.

It's like everybody--

-Well, the hometown reaction.

They're just-- they want to just focus.

Every--

every second that you're in the movie, they're just trying

to take it all in.

And it's the first time most of these

people have seen this.

FEMALE SPEAKER (OFFSCREEN): Thank you for coming.

Thanks a lot.

-There were a lot of patients here.

There were a lot that came.

And I think we'll have definitely a lot of people

calling us to find out how he feels, if he's back to

dentistry or acting.

-So, you know, you're the Patch Adams of dentistry

around here.

-Maybe so, yeah.

-No, you are.

-But--

-You just make people feel better.

-But do you miss that, you know, the feeling you got,

going into that audition and then getting the part, you

know, that creative outlet?

-Yeah.

-OK.

You're established in your career.

You've been-- you've been established.

-Yeah.

Yeah, that's fine.

-So but would you ever entertain the thought of--

-Oh, well, yeah.

It's a great thing.

I mean, you know, a lot to me.

It's great.

This is a very stable situation for

me to be doing this.

And it's a nice income.

MICHAEL (OFFSCREEN): What does your heart say, George?

-Thank you.

-Don't tell me the PR end.

-If I-- if I could-- it would be awfully

hard to leave my dentistry.

It would really be hard.

-I know it would.

And you care about your staff and your

patients and your family.

-Well, it-- it--

it sets up a great lifestyle for me.

But I really wanted to be an actor from the start.

And I just felt like it would--

I felt like I would be fun in front of the camera.

And I just felt I had a presence that--

that I could-- could make in front of the camera.

But I just--

I was too scared to do it because I'm in a small

Southern town.

And my dad kept telling me, no, son.

You-- that's too risky.

You can't do that kind of thing.

It was a forced thing for me to-- to become a dentist.

And I'd hundreds of thousands of dollars becoming a

dentist, you know.

And it wasn't practical to do something like that.

I really kind of wanted to have another shot at acting or

do another--

I really think I could have done--

done more.

-To be an actor, you've got to be half crazy.

If you're not willing to head for New York or LA and try

there, you're never going to make any money at it.

But I don't want to live in LA or New York.

I don't like the big cities.

I'd like to be able to make a living doing acting just in a

smaller town.

And that's just almost impossible.

I, uh, started playing old men right off the bat.

I played Firs in "Cherry Orchard." I played Old Ekdal

in "The Wild Duck." I--

I probably have done several 100 plays.

This one here is a picture of the young me when I was a

freshman in college.

I didn't have a beard then.

I used to have hair on top of my head too.

No children, no--

no grandchildren, no great grandchildren or

anything like that.

Mostly, I've wasted my life.

I--

I always thought I had kind of potential, but I

never did use it.

Don't know.

More or less, I have frittered my life what else is there to

do with a life but fritter it away?

-The memorabilia thing is supposed to be

a pretty big deal.

The guy from "Heroes" is going to be there and then John

Schneider from "The Dukes of Hazzard." And then a lot of

old "Star Wars" memorabilia will be out.

I'm glad Claudio's not with us this trip, actually, just

because, uh, um--

because I really want the limelight, and Claudio always

gets the limelight.

For those of you that have not seen this movie, they call

this the Myspace generation's "Rocky Horror Picture Show."

So like "Rocky Horror," the musical, that's just so bad

it's good, there are lines in the movie that we had to say,

you just kind of go, where did that come from?

Was that really--

what was that all about?

Did that really happen?

So, um, that's been one of the funnest parts about this film

for everyone.

-Has anyone got any questions, any more questions?

-It was a disaster.

I was sure there was going to be "Troll 2" fans there

everywhere, lined up, you know, and they're going to be

lined up for sure, you know, like they are at the

screenings.

And they're going to all want our autograph.

Have you ever seen "Troll 2?" Aw, you're missing it.

It was the worst film ever made, worse than any of these

films ever made here.

Have you seen "Troll 2?" Do you like really bad movies?

Yes?

-Yeah.

-Well, that's what this one is.

-Oh, wow.

-It was rated on IMDb as the worst film that's ever--

of all time.

"Troll 2." I go, you can't piss on hospitality!

I won't allow it!

I said, you know--

-I'll have to look out for that.

-And when I yell at him like that, then that becomes a

famous line in the movie.

We've had about between 15 to 20 screenings in the States,

and they've sold out.

-Yeah?

-Yeah.

-You reckon out here, you did the same?

-I'm sorry?

-Would you reckon that [inaudible]?

-Come again?

Who wants my autograph?

Does anybody want my autograph?

No one's freaking going to come.

We've come 15,000 miles, and nobody's going to

come to this table.

You got to laugh.

Come on.

You all need to see our movie that I was in.

I was in a film.

I was in a film called "Troll 2."

-OK

-So he's heard of "Troll 2." He's knows about "Troll 2."

-Absolutely, no, I love "Troll 2." I love it.

Why not?

-This young man's name is James.

-James All right.

-What I took away from that is, I mean, you know, "Troll

2" only attracts just that special group of people that,

you know, know about the movie.

Same thing, same thing with the horror conventions.

It's a different audience.

Well, this is very interesting.

This is very interesting.

I've never seen anything like this before.

-Horror fans are unbelievable.

They're so loyal.

And they carry the torch for years and years and years.

-Yeah, I wonder why people like that.

I don't--

I don't like horror films.

-You don't?

-I mean, it's not that I don't like them.

I just don't watch too many horror films.

But I've started watching them a little bit more since I was

in this film.

-Yeah, I love them.

I love them.

-It's intriguing.

And so, Erika, you were in the movie--

-"Nightmare on

Elm Street 5." -OK.

I've just been talking to all the, uh, celebrities from

"Nightmare on the Elm Street" 1, 2, 3, 4, 5, and 6.

-Were you in "Troll 1" as well?

-No, "Troll 1" and "Troll 2" don't have anything to do with

each other at all.

-Oh, that's interesting.

Have you ever watched "Troll 2?"

-Have you seen "Troll 2?"

-Have you seen it?

-No.

-Oh, you are missing it.

You are totally missing it.

Have you ever seen "Night--

Nightmare on Elm Street 3--" Five.

-Four.

-Four, four.

-Four.

I believe I have.

-Oh, you guys really are famous.

It's interesting because a lot of the actors from the movie

have never done anything after "Nightmare on Elm Street,"

just like me.

You know, they've not done anything else.

I was intrigued by a lot of these people that were signing

autographs from something they'd done 20 years back.

Yeah, it's fun to do.

But it's like--

it seemed like their whole life was around what they did

20, 30 years back.

And so I thought, god, don't you have

something better to do?

Then I turned around and thought, don't I have

something better to do?

Whew.

I do not see how people like that stuff.

God, almighty, no.

This place gives me the creeps.

I think I'm about to get sick.

I mean, why do people like this shit?

Ugh.

When you walk around this place, you kind of get a

little bit nauseated.

Like, I've gone to the bathroom.

Honestly, I've washed my hands about four or five times.

God, I feel dirty or something.

I was--

I was, uh--

met a director of--

big director back there.

It's just amazing.

He's, like, got a huge film coming out this Friday, like a

big budget film.

And it's--

-Is it "Doomsday?"

-Yeah, "Doomsday" is coming out.

-Yeah, Neil Marshall.

-Yeah, Neil Marshall.

I was talking to him.

It's just-- it's just amazing how the--

you just can't make conversation with--

we were just sitting right there at the table.

And you can't make conversation much with people

that are at that level, I guess.

I mean, he must have a lot of things on his mind all the

time, you know.

But then so do I. I've got teeth to think about.

You know what I mean?

-Yeah, totally.

-I mean, that's more important than some computer graphics

guy morphing a movie, don't you think?

For $30,000 million?

And there's plenty of gingivitis around here too.

Have you noticed that?

Tons of gingivitis.

DARREN (OFFSCREEN): Is there?

I never notice that.

-It's really bad.

I guarantee you only about 5% of these people floss their

teeth on a daily basis.

Oh, my god.

This--

these folks are weird.

I mean, this is not Halloween.

What's they day today?

March 9th?

-March, yeah.

-Freaking weird.

These folks are just--

they've lost it.

I'm just sick of this place.

Let's get out of here.

Let's flip this joint.

You want to?

-Yeah, let's get out of here.

-Let's get out of here.

Let's just clean it up.

I am sick of this.

I will never do this again.

I think I was pretty much burned out on "Troll 2" stuff.

It was fun and something I did, you know.

But I wouldn't want to do this again.

You know, it gets old after saying the piss on hospitality

scene over and over again.

I can't imagine what it must be like for Celine Dion to

sing, uh, the "Titanic" song.

You know?

I mean--

I mean, she's probably sung it 5,000 times.

And to sing it again?

You know, how do you keep doing that?

Poor Celine.

TIM (OFFSCREEN): We started the Rolling Roadshow about

seven years ago.

It came about as an offshoot of what we do at the Alamo

Drafthouse.

We've always done a lot of themed events at the theater.

And we thought, well, one of the best ways that we can have

the ultimate movie experience is to have super fans in a

place that's almost like a trip to Mecca for them.

So we started doing nationwide tours and doing famous in

famous locations.

And when we got involved with "Troll 2," I don't know when

the idea came about or how the idea came about.

But it just seemed like, yeah, that's really something that's

got to be done.

-I guess famous movies and famous locations doesn't

really apply to this screening either way.

TIM (OFFSCREEN): No, it's a not so famous movie in a not

so famous location.

But it's famous in the minds of the people that are going

to come here.

-The whole time, I just kept, in my head, just thinking, I

feel like that if I came and witnessed first hand, it would

dawn on me, oh.

It's just like--

it's so intriguing to people.

But I couldn't figure it out.

I still can't figure it out.

With everyone I signed, I wanted to go, are you sure?

-Oh, god.

That's great.

Oh, god.

-I don't know if I have a better memory of fandom than

this event.

This was pretty strong.

-Where is Margo Prey?

We love her.

We miss her.

-A lot of the cast members will be here tomorrow.

I think just about everybody, except for Margo.

Yeah.

MICHAEL (OFFSCREEN): Is it impossible?

Is it impossible to get you to this screening, completely

impossible?

-It is.

It is.

-Oh, man.

GEORGE (OFFSCREEN): Wow.

-It is.

-I think you're the only cast member that won't be there.

-Who's not going to be there?

-I know you want to come.

-I do.

-I can feel it.

I can feel it.

-I just know that I--

I just know that it's complicated.

It's just complicated.

And I'd be afraid, and I'd be nervous.

And I wouldn't know what to do.

-I mean, if you could have anything to remedy this whole

solution, what would it be?

-To go away somewhere where no one can find me.

-Really?

That's the-- that's the solution to it all?

-And up somewhere, anywhere, I don't care where, in another

house, in another place, in a normal neighborhood with

normal people.

So they make noise all night long.

And the noise is so intense that sometimes

it makes you dizzy.

-What is the sound like?

What kind of noise is it?

-[high pitched scream]

-That is--

GEORGE (OFFSCREEN): Wow.

MICHAEL (OFFSCREEN): Yeah.

-Okey-doke.

-Take care.

You're a sweetheart.

-Thank you.

-Bye-bye

-Bye-bye.

-Bye.

-Bye-bye.

-But I was hoping, starting over there with you guys, we

could just go through, and if you gave us one or two

adjectives that describe the way you felt when you first

saw "Troll 2" after being in it.

-Um, well, I saw it actually, right when it was first

released on HBO.

And I think I tuned in maybe halfway

through that first time.

Um, I was confused.

And then I was depressed.

-The actors--

every time, the same.

-We thought we were all making a bona fide horror film.

And unfortunately, when none of us got scripts, full

scripts-- so we didn't really know--

-You are wrong!

You are completely wrong.

-Or at least, nobody in our group got full scripts.

So we didn't know exactly what the flow of the story was

going to be or what our parts were going to be.

-Actually, in the script, I was turned into a plant and

put into a plot.

And Darren and I were right next to each other, and we had

dialog all the way through the end.

-You don't remember.

-But they cut it out.

And then when I was done filming, I was like, what the

hell happened to, like, the end, my scenes and all that?

And so I didn't know what happened to me

till I watched it.

And I really still don't know.

-Well, you don't remember anything.

-Yes, we do.

The whole time, we do.

-No.

-OK.

-OK, now it's my time to--

to say to you.

MALE SPEAKER (OFFSCREEN): So are there any outtakes from

"Troll 2?"

"Troll 2?"

JESSE (OFFSCREEN): Claudio's made so many movies.

I want to know what he thinks about his career because, you

know, John Ford was pumping out like three

films a year for years.

And he never gave a shit about his movies.

He just was a filmmaker.

That's just what he did.

-I never see the movie with the print, the

real print, you know?

That's wonderful for me.

I want to understand what kind of movie I did 18 years ago.

Now maybe I can understand.

-I hope that he understands, you know, how

wonderful "Troll 2" was.

I don't even want to call it a bad film.

Like, it's an amazing film.

-It's not a matter of the production value or

the budget or talent.

It's just whether or not something entertains.

-A film like this maybe happens once a generation.

-It's a real magic formula.

The stars aligned.

-How do you make a movie like "Troll 2" then?

-You can't set out to make a film like this.

The gods of filmmaking were looking down on you.

-This is our 20th-something--

20-something-th screening.

I--

I was tired of seeing "Troll 2" for the 20th time.

Three.

Maybe a little few egg whites too.

That would be good.

Egg whites are terrific.

Half a banana so that the glycemic

index is nice and high.

Today, I have a great life here in Alabama, a really

great life.

Yeah.

It's just home.

Alabama's just home.

I love Lake Martin.

I mean, it's the jewel of the Southeast.

And I have a good dental practice, a

strong, solid practice.

I've got great relationships with my patients.

And I have four beautiful women that work with me.

I have a great relationship with my family, my mom and dad

are still living, which is really--

I'm very, very thankful for that.

I love my daughters, and I have a good relationship with

my ex-wife.

And I have a lot of good friends.

I guess at this point, I kind of like

keeping my life simple.

And the simpler, the better.

I'm very fortunate to be a part of a good story here in

Alexander City.

MICHAEL (OFFSCREEN): Would you star in "Troll 3" if

Claudio asked you?

-Yes.

I would star in "Troll 3." I'd love to star in "Troll 3."

What are you guys talking about?

Of course.

[MUSIC - MATES OF STATE, "MY ONLY OFFER"]

[music playing]