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00:00:01,871 --> 00:00:03,220
Previously
onAngel from Hell...Oh!
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00:00:03,264 --> 00:00:04,787
Geez, I'm so sorry.
3
00:00:04,830 --> 00:00:06,702
No worries, accidents happen.
4
00:00:06,745 --> 00:00:09,879
I'll bet you're a very sweet
person, Dr. Allison.
5
00:00:09,922 --> 00:00:13,100
How did you know my name?It's me, Amy,
from the farmers' market.
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00:00:13,143 --> 00:00:15,754
Who's this bit o' honey?I'm Brad.
I'm the brother.
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Your mother died 412
days ago. And since then
you've buried yourself
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00:00:19,193 --> 00:00:21,804
in work, buried yourself
in a relationship.
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00:00:21,847 --> 00:00:23,501
How do you know all that stuff?
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00:00:23,545 --> 00:00:26,939
Honey, I'm your guardian angel.
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00:00:26,983 --> 00:00:29,420
He's working on boning
your best friend.
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00:00:29,464 --> 00:00:31,727
Evan and I hooked up.
13
00:00:31,770 --> 00:00:35,426
It's not that I believe
you're an angel.But?
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00:00:35,470 --> 00:00:36,819
I could use a weird friend.
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00:00:36,862 --> 00:00:40,040
Do they come any weirder?
[chuckles]
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00:00:42,085 --> 00:00:43,913
Breakfast burritos
are so good.
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00:00:43,956 --> 00:00:44,870
They should make
dinner burritos.
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00:00:44,914 --> 00:00:46,046
That's a billion-dollar idea,
19
00:00:46,089 --> 00:00:47,351
Brad, it's called burritos.
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00:00:47,395 --> 00:00:49,788
I was realizing that
as I said it.
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00:00:49,832 --> 00:00:50,963
Well, thanks for
taking me out, guys.
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00:00:51,007 --> 00:00:53,662
Third day in a row.
It's delicious.
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00:00:53,705 --> 00:00:55,142
Yeah, but you didn't finish it.
Are you okay?
24
00:00:55,185 --> 00:00:56,491
You're not still upset
about Evan?
25
00:00:56,534 --> 00:00:57,796
Honey, you got to eat.
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00:00:57,840 --> 00:00:58,884
Did you not get
enough guac?
27
00:00:58,928 --> 00:01:00,234
Do you need
more guac?
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00:01:00,277 --> 00:01:01,757
My sister just had
her heart broken
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00:01:01,800 --> 00:01:02,801
and she's running
low on guac.
30
00:01:02,845 --> 00:01:03,802
Guys, I'm fine
about the breakup.
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00:01:03,846 --> 00:01:04,803
Still bring that guac.
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00:01:04,847 --> 00:01:05,804
We're all hurtin'.
33
00:01:05,848 --> 00:01:06,979
[phone buzzes]
34
00:01:07,023 --> 00:01:08,590
Is that Evan again?
35
00:01:08,633 --> 00:01:09,895
He's not still calling!
36
00:01:09,939 --> 00:01:12,289
He keeps texting,
trying to apologize.
37
00:01:12,333 --> 00:01:14,770
All right, say the word and
we will exact Fuller justice.Yeah.
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00:01:14,813 --> 00:01:15,945
Remember, I'm from Brooklyn.
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00:01:15,988 --> 00:01:17,512
Dad, you left Brooklyn
when you were one
40
00:01:17,555 --> 00:01:18,948
and moved to L.A.Very formative year.
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00:01:18,991 --> 00:01:20,906
And I did wrestle
in high school.
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00:01:20,950 --> 00:01:22,517
So you get me a
referee and a mat
43
00:01:22,560 --> 00:01:23,866
and make sure we
weigh the same,
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00:01:23,909 --> 00:01:24,997
and Fuller justice
will be served.
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00:01:25,041 --> 00:01:26,390
Guys, please
don't do anything.
46
00:01:26,434 --> 00:01:28,914
I just want to bury
this chapter of my life.
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00:01:28,958 --> 00:01:31,743
Buried alive. Got it.Stop it. Leave it alone.
48
00:01:31,787 --> 00:01:33,528
All right,
we'll take the high road.Yeah. View's better
49
00:01:33,571 --> 00:01:35,443
from up there
anyway.I got to get to work.
50
00:01:35,486 --> 00:01:37,619
Me, too. Houses don't
sell themselves, people.
51
00:01:37,662 --> 00:01:39,969
Actually, lately they do.
The market is super
hot right now.
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00:01:40,012 --> 00:01:42,058
I'm just baking open house
cookies and cashing checks.
53
00:01:42,102 --> 00:01:43,973
Then why'd you make Dad pay?Hmm? Oh.
54
00:01:44,016 --> 00:01:45,540
I'm so sorry, guys--
I should probably take this.
55
00:01:45,583 --> 00:01:46,889
That's my phone.I should take this.
56
00:01:46,932 --> 00:01:48,978
Uh-huh. Uh, I think
I'm gonna stay here
57
00:01:49,021 --> 00:01:50,414
and finish up
my paperwork.
58
00:01:50,458 --> 00:01:52,199
My first appointment canceled.
Turns out it wasn't
59
00:01:52,242 --> 00:01:54,114
a mole--
she slept on a chocolate chip.
60
00:01:54,157 --> 00:01:55,158
Good news.
Yeah.
61
00:01:55,202 --> 00:01:56,203
I'll see you at the office.Okay.
62
00:01:57,987 --> 00:02:01,817
I can't believe how little
your family talks about sex.
63
00:02:01,860 --> 00:02:04,036
I actually found myself
reading the newspaper.
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00:02:04,080 --> 00:02:06,038
Oh, it's gonna be
so much more fun
65
00:02:06,082 --> 00:02:08,476
being your guardian angel
now that I can just
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00:02:08,519 --> 00:02:10,304
walk up to you and say...
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00:02:10,347 --> 00:02:12,175
"You're working too hard
68
00:02:12,219 --> 00:02:15,831
and you're not having
enough fun."
69
00:02:15,874 --> 00:02:18,877
Okay, um, hi. How are you?
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00:02:18,921 --> 00:02:20,096
I'm wonderful!
71
00:02:20,140 --> 00:02:22,968
Wow. Um, okay,
where to start?
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00:02:23,012 --> 00:02:24,405
Well, I did say
we could be friends.Yes,
73
00:02:24,448 --> 00:02:25,884
and that is a legally
binding statement.
74
00:02:25,928 --> 00:02:28,017
So, when am I gonna get to
meet the old family, huh?
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00:02:28,060 --> 00:02:30,237
I'm gonna think of you
like a tattoo.Oh, good.
76
00:02:30,280 --> 00:02:31,977
Yeah, you're cool,
bigger than expected,Uh-huh. Well.
77
00:02:32,021 --> 00:02:34,806
and it's best if my family
never finds out about you.
78
00:02:34,850 --> 00:02:37,026
No, no, no. I got it.
It's kind of complicated
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00:02:37,069 --> 00:02:39,724
to introduce me to your family,
especially when you can't reveal
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00:02:39,768 --> 00:02:40,856
that I'm your guardian angel.
81
00:02:40,899 --> 00:02:42,510
Yeah.Now, you know
82
00:02:42,553 --> 00:02:43,946
you can't reveal that, right?I was kind of
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00:02:43,989 --> 00:02:45,817
hoping youwould stop
revealing it.
84
00:02:45,861 --> 00:02:47,384
Oh.Can we have this conversation
someplace else?
85
00:02:47,428 --> 00:02:49,821
I'm getting a little freaked out
by all the crazy talk.
86
00:02:49,865 --> 00:02:52,650
Crazy talk? Allison,
that is not very PC.
87
00:02:53,651 --> 00:02:55,218
And it's called Spanish.
88
00:02:55,262 --> 00:02:57,612
I was talking about you, Oh.
89
00:02:57,655 --> 00:02:59,222
and I would rather have
this conversation
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00:02:59,266 --> 00:03:01,181
when people are not around.Oh.
91
00:03:01,224 --> 00:03:03,008
Where would that be,
where we could have
92
00:03:03,052 --> 00:03:05,359
this conversation
with no people around?
93
00:03:06,969 --> 00:03:09,319
Would you like
to come by my house later?
94
00:03:09,363 --> 00:03:10,799
Yeah, sure.
95
00:03:10,842 --> 00:03:12,583
That could be totally awesome.
96
00:03:12,627 --> 00:03:14,063
Mm.Yeah.
97
00:03:14,106 --> 00:03:16,544
Okay, then.
So...Ah, no, I hear you.
98
00:03:16,587 --> 00:03:18,546
Until-until tonight
at your house.
99
00:03:19,895 --> 00:03:21,157
Oh, and, uh, don't worry--
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00:03:21,201 --> 00:03:23,899
I know exactly where you live.
101
00:03:23,942 --> 00:03:25,379
Wait. What?
102
00:03:25,422 --> 00:03:26,423
You've been to my house?
103
00:03:39,044 --> 00:03:41,264
Wow, I can't believe
I'm in your house.
104
00:03:41,308 --> 00:03:43,788
And you're awake. Huh.
105
00:03:43,832 --> 00:03:47,183
The line between stalker
and angel seems very thin.
106
00:03:47,227 --> 00:03:49,054
Mm. And I can
tell there's
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00:03:49,098 --> 00:03:50,578
a part of you that
doesn't believe
108
00:03:50,621 --> 00:03:52,232
I'm your guardian angel.Oh, it's...
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00:03:52,275 --> 00:03:53,929
all of me that doesn't believe
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00:03:53,972 --> 00:03:55,757
you're my guardian angel.
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00:03:55,800 --> 00:03:58,455
ButI am curious
just how many cars
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00:03:58,499 --> 00:03:59,978
are on this
crazy train, so...
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00:04:00,022 --> 00:04:01,806
why don't you tell me
a little bit
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00:04:01,850 --> 00:04:03,417
about how you see the world.
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00:04:03,460 --> 00:04:06,376
[imitates buzzer]
Worlds. There's nine worlds.
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00:04:06,420 --> 00:04:08,335
Ask me anything you like.
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00:04:08,378 --> 00:04:10,467
So, why do Ineed
a guardian angel?
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00:04:10,511 --> 00:04:11,990
There are so many people
119
00:04:12,034 --> 00:04:14,079
that need a guardian angel
more than I do.
120
00:04:14,123 --> 00:04:15,211
Well, and they all have them.
121
00:04:15,255 --> 00:04:17,257
You see, guardian angels
are like herpes.
122
00:04:17,300 --> 00:04:18,910
Everyone has a
version of it
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00:04:18,954 --> 00:04:20,042
that they don't know about.
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00:04:20,085 --> 00:04:22,218
And no matter how hard they try,
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00:04:22,262 --> 00:04:24,264
they can't get rid of us.
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00:04:24,307 --> 00:04:25,439
Sweet ad campaign.
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00:04:25,482 --> 00:04:28,137
So if these angels are...
everywhere,
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00:04:28,180 --> 00:04:30,792
why is there zero evidence
that they exist?
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00:04:30,835 --> 00:04:32,315
Oh, my goodness,
there's evidence everywhere.
130
00:04:32,359 --> 00:04:35,623
99% of all coincidences
are angels pulling strings.
131
00:04:35,666 --> 00:04:36,972
And the other one percent?
132
00:04:37,015 --> 00:04:39,235
The one percent--
they control everything.
133
00:04:39,279 --> 00:04:41,281
Do you not get
The Wall Street Journal?
134
00:04:41,324 --> 00:04:44,762
So you've been protecting me
my whole life?
135
00:04:44,806 --> 00:04:47,156
Yep. Except the time
you were kicked by the cow.
136
00:04:47,199 --> 00:04:48,157
See, because
I alsowanted
137
00:04:48,200 --> 00:04:49,767
to see what would happen if you
138
00:04:49,811 --> 00:04:51,552
pulled its tail.So if you're an angel,
139
00:04:51,595 --> 00:04:53,336
do you fly?No. We are flightless--
140
00:04:53,380 --> 00:04:54,903
which technically
makes us poultry.
141
00:04:54,946 --> 00:04:57,209
Do you feel pain?No. But that might be
the codeine.
142
00:04:57,253 --> 00:04:59,081
Do you talk to God?Oh, Allison, do the people
143
00:04:59,124 --> 00:05:01,039
at the Apple Store talk
to Tim Cook?
144
00:05:01,083 --> 00:05:03,128
So, what would be
the one thing that people
145
00:05:03,172 --> 00:05:05,174
would be surprised to learn
about angels?
146
00:05:05,217 --> 00:05:07,568
We can catch anything
that's thrown to us.What does that mean?
147
00:05:07,611 --> 00:05:08,743
Throw me something.
148
00:05:09,396 --> 00:05:11,136
Whoa. Not bad.
149
00:05:11,180 --> 00:05:12,921
My job...
150
00:05:12,964 --> 00:05:15,445
is to protect you.
151
00:05:15,489 --> 00:05:17,665
And if I miss something...
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00:05:17,708 --> 00:05:19,536
I've failed.
153
00:05:21,277 --> 00:05:22,539
Impressive.[chuckles]
154
00:05:22,583 --> 00:05:25,020
So, you're like
an unpaid bodyguard.
155
00:05:25,063 --> 00:05:27,849
No, we don't just guard.
We teach lessons.
156
00:05:27,892 --> 00:05:30,286
Lessons? Really? What kind
of lessons do you teach?
157
00:05:30,330 --> 00:05:32,157
Piano? Swim lessons?
158
00:05:32,201 --> 00:05:33,898
Oh, we don't swim, Allison.
159
00:05:33,942 --> 00:05:35,639
[chuckles]:
We're not water goblins.
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00:05:35,683 --> 00:05:36,988
No, we teach
life lessons.
161
00:05:37,032 --> 00:05:38,163
In fact,
it's probably the biggest,
162
00:05:38,207 --> 00:05:39,730
most important part of my job.
163
00:05:39,774 --> 00:05:42,298
So, what am I to learn
from a woman
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00:05:42,342 --> 00:05:44,431
whose fly is currently open?
165
00:05:44,474 --> 00:05:47,390
The value of a gentle breeze.
166
00:05:47,434 --> 00:05:49,349
And now that you've
learned that,
let's move on
167
00:05:49,392 --> 00:05:51,960
to the next lesson:
confronting your biggest fear.
168
00:05:52,003 --> 00:05:53,570
You know what that is?
169
00:05:53,614 --> 00:05:57,008
I don't know.
Uh, clowns? Spiders?
170
00:05:57,052 --> 00:05:59,141
Well, those are fears
and they should be confronted,
171
00:05:59,184 --> 00:06:01,622
but I'd put those more
in the category of "yikesies."
172
00:06:01,665 --> 00:06:03,406
No, this is, like,
the scary stuff.
173
00:06:03,450 --> 00:06:05,539
The stuff that when you leave
your house in the morning,
174
00:06:05,582 --> 00:06:10,544
you say: Oh, man, I hope
I don't have to face thistoday.
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00:06:10,587 --> 00:06:12,023
Kelly.
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00:06:12,067 --> 00:06:13,721
Yes, Calleigh.
177
00:06:13,764 --> 00:06:14,809
Kelly...
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00:06:14,852 --> 00:06:16,419
Kelly, Kelly, Kelly.
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00:06:16,463 --> 00:06:18,247
...is my oldest friend...Right.
180
00:06:18,290 --> 00:06:20,031
and we had a fight...Brutal falling out.
181
00:06:20,075 --> 00:06:21,119
I remember it perfectly.
182
00:06:21,163 --> 00:06:22,425
Because if I didn't
remember it,
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00:06:22,469 --> 00:06:24,253
I'd get in trouble
with my supervisor
184
00:06:24,296 --> 00:06:26,037
for being drunk on the job.
[chuckles]
185
00:06:26,081 --> 00:06:28,039
It was a couple
of months ago,Couple months ago.
186
00:06:28,083 --> 00:06:30,259
and we were going out
for her birthday...Your birthday.
187
00:06:30,302 --> 00:06:31,434
No, her birthday.Her birthday, right.
188
00:06:31,478 --> 00:06:32,435
Okay, please let me
tell the story.
189
00:06:32,479 --> 00:06:34,176
Okay, please, go ahead.
190
00:06:34,219 --> 00:06:36,178
Thanks for taking me out
on my birthday.
191
00:06:36,221 --> 00:06:38,049
Well, I'm sorry it doesn't
beat your tenth birthday
192
00:06:38,093 --> 00:06:40,008
when we went to the New
Kids on the Block concert.
193
00:06:40,051 --> 00:06:43,490
Uh, yeah! I still can't believe
I caught Joey McIntyre's sock.
194
00:06:43,533 --> 00:06:45,361
You found that sock
on the ground.I caught it.
195
00:06:45,405 --> 00:06:46,841
It was his sock.No.
196
00:06:46,884 --> 00:06:48,625
It can't be a random
sock, Allison--
197
00:06:48,669 --> 00:06:50,497
I've kissed it
too many times.
198
00:06:50,540 --> 00:06:52,716
I'm sorry Hank forgot
your birthday.
199
00:06:52,760 --> 00:06:54,501
Yeah, it's par
for the course.
200
00:06:54,544 --> 00:06:55,806
Well, it shouldn't be.
201
00:06:58,200 --> 00:07:00,463
Okay, Kelly,
I just have to say this.
202
00:07:00,507 --> 00:07:02,030
There is something off
about Hank.
203
00:07:02,073 --> 00:07:03,597
It always seems like
he's hiding something.
204
00:07:03,640 --> 00:07:05,425
He doesn't get
your sense of humor,
205
00:07:05,468 --> 00:07:07,688
he's not as smart as you are,
and you've said several times
206
00:07:07,731 --> 00:07:09,254
he suffers from
premature ejacula...
207
00:07:09,298 --> 00:07:10,473
Surprise!
208
00:07:11,735 --> 00:07:13,215
You didn't let me finish.
209
00:07:13,258 --> 00:07:15,652
Par for the course, by the way.
[chuckles nervously]
210
00:07:15,696 --> 00:07:17,088
No?
211
00:07:18,133 --> 00:07:19,656
Nobody?
212
00:07:19,700 --> 00:07:20,875
I'm so sorry.
213
00:07:20,918 --> 00:07:22,485
Wow.
214
00:07:22,529 --> 00:07:25,053
I tried to apologize
to her, but...
215
00:07:25,096 --> 00:07:28,404
I don't think she heard me over
the sound of her own yelling.
216
00:07:28,448 --> 00:07:29,927
Aw.But it's okay,
we'll reconnect.
217
00:07:29,971 --> 00:07:31,886
You know, it's been
a couple of months--
218
00:07:31,929 --> 00:07:34,236
she's probably cooled off, and,
you know, it's a funny thing
219
00:07:34,279 --> 00:07:34,584
about...
220
00:07:34,628 --> 00:07:35,280
Yah!
221
00:07:35,324 --> 00:07:36,891
How did you do that?
222
00:07:36,934 --> 00:07:38,196
Oh, you think
thisis impressive--
223
00:07:38,240 --> 00:07:39,720
you should see me catch soup.
224
00:07:39,763 --> 00:07:42,070
Hey, Dad.
Ready to watch the game?Yup.
225
00:07:42,113 --> 00:07:44,594
So to clarify-- earlier,
when we told Allison
226
00:07:44,638 --> 00:07:46,117
that we were not going
to enact revenge...
227
00:07:46,161 --> 00:07:48,119
Hugelie. Yeah,
we're not letting Evan
228
00:07:48,163 --> 00:07:50,078
get away with what
he did to Allison.Damn straight.
229
00:07:50,121 --> 00:07:52,210
Just wanted to make sure
we were on the same page.
230
00:07:52,254 --> 00:07:53,603
Don't get mad, get Evan.
231
00:07:53,647 --> 00:07:55,126
To quote
the ultimate daughter avenger,
232
00:07:55,170 --> 00:07:57,346
Liam Neeson...Give it to me.
233
00:07:57,389 --> 00:07:59,522
[like Neeson]: I have
a very special set of skills
234
00:07:59,566 --> 00:08:02,177
that makes me a nightmare
for people like Evan.
235
00:08:02,220 --> 00:08:04,353
Never saw those movies.
But I feel like I get it.
236
00:08:04,396 --> 00:08:06,747
So what's our plan?
'Cause we have to
make sure it's
237
00:08:06,790 --> 00:08:08,183
just the right level
of getting back at him.
238
00:08:08,226 --> 00:08:09,358
That's true--
we've had difficulty
239
00:08:09,401 --> 00:08:10,664
in the past with Allison's exes.
240
00:08:10,707 --> 00:08:12,056
Sometimes we take it too far.
241
00:08:14,276 --> 00:08:16,931
Sometimes I feel like we've
left a little bit on the table.
242
00:08:19,237 --> 00:08:21,196
[whispers]:
It's been an issue.All right,
243
00:08:21,239 --> 00:08:23,720
it says on Facebook
he's playing his ukulele
244
00:08:23,764 --> 00:08:25,592
at an open mic on Friday.
245
00:08:25,635 --> 00:08:26,767
Are you thinking
what I'm thinking?Mm-hmm.
246
00:08:26,810 --> 00:08:28,029
Burn down that building.Heckle him.
247
00:08:28,072 --> 00:08:29,160
With our heckling.
248
00:08:29,204 --> 00:08:30,335
Sometimes you go too far, son.
249
00:08:30,379 --> 00:08:31,380
I know.
250
00:08:31,423 --> 00:08:32,642
[doorbell rings]
251
00:08:34,296 --> 00:08:35,427
[horn blasts]
252
00:08:36,428 --> 00:08:39,823
[goofy laughing]
253
00:08:39,867 --> 00:08:43,087
[chuckles]
Allison, it's me!
254
00:08:43,131 --> 00:08:44,306
I'm just kidding.
255
00:08:44,349 --> 00:08:46,221
Amy! Ta-da!
256
00:08:46,264 --> 00:08:49,137
What are you doing here, and
why are you dressed as a clown?
257
00:08:49,180 --> 00:08:51,095
You told me last night
you were afraid of clowns,
258
00:08:51,139 --> 00:08:52,662
and the only way
to get over your fears
259
00:08:52,706 --> 00:08:54,403
is to face 'em head-on.Okay,
260
00:08:54,446 --> 00:08:56,710
we need to have a conversation
about boundaries.
261
00:08:56,753 --> 00:08:59,713
[mock gasp] Can we have
that conversation over brunch?
262
00:08:59,756 --> 00:09:01,236
You know, where we each
order different things,
263
00:09:01,279 --> 00:09:02,933
and then we eat
off each other's plates.
264
00:09:02,977 --> 00:09:04,282
I know the perfect café.
265
00:09:04,326 --> 00:09:05,588
Not going to brunch
with a clown.
266
00:09:05,632 --> 00:09:07,242
Oh, you won't eat
with clowns, huh?
267
00:09:07,285 --> 00:09:08,635
Where was that rule
when you were dating Evan?
268
00:09:08,678 --> 00:09:10,114
[horn blasts]
269
00:09:10,158 --> 00:09:12,639
So come on, admit it,
270
00:09:12,682 --> 00:09:14,771
you're less afraid
of clowns, right?
271
00:09:14,815 --> 00:09:15,903
[groans]
272
00:09:15,946 --> 00:09:17,382
[chuckles]What is that, vodka?
273
00:09:17,426 --> 00:09:19,254
Oh, my God, that's Kelly.
274
00:09:19,297 --> 00:09:21,256
That's the friend I was
telling you about last night.
275
00:09:21,299 --> 00:09:22,431
Oh, my goodness.
276
00:09:22,474 --> 00:09:24,085
Is it just a coinky-dink
277
00:09:24,128 --> 00:09:26,043
or is somebody
pulling the strings?
278
00:09:26,087 --> 00:09:29,612
[singing circus music]
279
00:09:29,656 --> 00:09:30,657
Okay, now I'm afraid
of puppets. Yeah.
280
00:09:38,273 --> 00:09:40,623
Does your guardian angel
take care of you, or what?
281
00:09:40,667 --> 00:09:42,669
Look, you get to conquer your
fear of running into Kelly.
282
00:09:42,712 --> 00:09:44,235
How did you...?I don't know.
283
00:09:44,279 --> 00:09:45,585
Did I telepathically
convince her
284
00:09:45,628 --> 00:09:48,022
to come to this very
café thismorning?
285
00:09:48,065 --> 00:09:49,284
You checked her Instagram.
She posted
286
00:09:49,327 --> 00:09:50,415
a photo of her
French toast, like,
287
00:09:50,459 --> 00:09:52,330
30 minutes ago.And how can I do that?
288
00:09:52,374 --> 00:09:53,636
when I've been banned
from Instagram
289
00:09:53,680 --> 00:09:56,465
for creating the hashtag
#BodyPartOrDeliMeat?
290
00:09:56,508 --> 00:09:59,337
Go talk to her.Okay, just let me lay out
the pros and cons
291
00:09:59,381 --> 00:10:00,904
of talking to her
versus leaving her alone.
292
00:10:00,948 --> 00:10:02,427
Good plan, good plan.
293
00:10:02,471 --> 00:10:04,168
Or: Kelly, Kelly, Kelly!
294
00:10:07,432 --> 00:10:08,738
Allison?
295
00:10:08,782 --> 00:10:10,610
Hi!
296
00:10:10,653 --> 00:10:13,264
It's been... way too long.
[chuckles]
297
00:10:13,308 --> 00:10:14,570
How are you?
298
00:10:14,614 --> 00:10:16,267
Good.Good.
299
00:10:16,311 --> 00:10:17,355
A-Are you still with...
300
00:10:17,399 --> 00:10:19,227
The guy who's
"hiding something"? Yes.
301
00:10:19,270 --> 00:10:20,445
Not the words
I would have used.
302
00:10:20,489 --> 00:10:22,404
Oh, exactly the words
you did use.
303
00:10:22,447 --> 00:10:24,667
Yeah, about that, um...
304
00:10:24,711 --> 00:10:27,235
Look, I-I should get back
to this.
305
00:10:27,278 --> 00:10:29,672
My gallery has an opening
on Friday, so I'm
a little swamped.
306
00:10:29,716 --> 00:10:32,240
Sure. Yeah. Well,
good luck, Friday.
307
00:10:32,283 --> 00:10:33,894
And, uh, give
my best to Hank.
308
00:10:33,937 --> 00:10:35,330
I will not.
309
00:10:35,373 --> 00:10:37,114
Good one.Seriously.
310
00:10:37,158 --> 00:10:39,247
Miss this.
311
00:10:39,290 --> 00:10:41,684
Got to run.
312
00:10:41,728 --> 00:10:43,425
BRAD:
Dad,
313
00:10:43,468 --> 00:10:44,774
I'm assembling
the ultimate heckle kit
314
00:10:44,818 --> 00:10:46,428
for tonight.
Yeah. I-I...
315
00:10:46,471 --> 00:10:47,690
All I need
is an embarrassing photo of Evan
316
00:10:47,734 --> 00:10:49,213
that we can blow up.
317
00:10:49,257 --> 00:10:50,998
I got the one of him
in the tighty-whities.
318
00:10:52,042 --> 00:10:53,827
Oh. Okay, I got to go.
319
00:10:55,829 --> 00:10:58,875
Hey. What's going on?
320
00:10:58,919 --> 00:11:00,007
Oh, just another
321
00:11:00,050 --> 00:11:01,617
bad run-in
with Kelly.
322
00:11:01,661 --> 00:11:03,097
She's still really
ticked off at me.
323
00:11:03,140 --> 00:11:04,272
Really?
324
00:11:04,315 --> 00:11:06,187
Still? Sorry to hear that.
325
00:11:06,230 --> 00:11:08,363
She's a good one.
326
00:11:08,406 --> 00:11:10,365
Yup. How you holding up?
327
00:11:10,408 --> 00:11:13,411
Um, I'm fine.
Why are you dancing?
328
00:11:13,455 --> 00:11:15,326
Mm...
329
00:11:15,370 --> 00:11:17,067
What's in
the shopping bag, Brad?
330
00:11:17,111 --> 00:11:18,416
This old bag?
331
00:11:18,460 --> 00:11:20,157
Nothing.
I just, you know...
332
00:11:20,201 --> 00:11:22,116
As a thank-you for letting me
stay in the guesthouse,
333
00:11:22,159 --> 00:11:23,900
I thought I'd help out
with the grocery shopping,
334
00:11:23,944 --> 00:11:26,076
picking up a little deodorant
for the both of us, you know.
335
00:11:26,120 --> 00:11:27,295
[loud honk]Ooh.
336
00:11:27,338 --> 00:11:29,297
[loud honk]
337
00:11:29,340 --> 00:11:31,299
Loud enough for a man,
pH-balanced for a...
338
00:11:31,342 --> 00:11:33,344
Okay, that's an air horn.
339
00:11:35,782 --> 00:11:37,740
So, back on Kelly--
340
00:11:37,784 --> 00:11:40,961
I think I need to go big
to fix the situation.
341
00:11:41,004 --> 00:11:42,527
What are you saying, Allison?
342
00:11:42,571 --> 00:11:44,399
I'm calling in my chit.
343
00:11:44,442 --> 00:11:46,575
Are you sure?
344
00:11:46,618 --> 00:11:48,751
'Cause I can only
make this call once.
345
00:11:48,795 --> 00:11:50,231
Just because I sold him
his house
346
00:11:50,274 --> 00:11:51,841
doesn't mean he'll say yes.
347
00:11:51,885 --> 00:11:53,538
Make the call.
348
00:11:53,582 --> 00:11:56,280
Thank you so much for meeting
with me, Joey McIntyre.
349
00:11:56,324 --> 00:11:58,326
No worries. Brad told me
you cashed in your chit.
350
00:11:58,369 --> 00:12:00,154
I give everybody one.
351
00:12:00,197 --> 00:12:01,982
I'm just glad
you're not one of the crazies.
352
00:12:02,025 --> 00:12:04,158
[laughs]
Yeah, right? No, I was a...
353
00:12:04,201 --> 00:12:06,377
I was a casual New Kids fan,
not one of the crazy ones,
354
00:12:06,421 --> 00:12:08,466
you know, Joey McIntyre.
355
00:12:08,510 --> 00:12:11,861
Can you... not use my full name?
356
00:12:11,905 --> 00:12:14,168
Oh, you got it, Joey.
[mouths]
357
00:12:14,211 --> 00:12:16,953
Uh, okay, so tell me
about this girl, Kelly.
358
00:12:16,997 --> 00:12:19,390
How old is she, what
disease does she have?
359
00:12:19,434 --> 00:12:21,828
She's 32, and she
tested positive for being
360
00:12:21,871 --> 00:12:24,178
super mad at me,
and the doctors prescribed
361
00:12:24,221 --> 00:12:26,180
a round of J-Mac Z-Pak.
362
00:12:26,223 --> 00:12:27,659
Candy corn.
Candy corn.
363
00:12:27,703 --> 00:12:29,226
We have a candy corn situation
364
00:12:29,270 --> 00:12:31,402
in the conference room.
I repeat: candy corn.
365
00:12:31,446 --> 00:12:34,057
No, no, no, no, no. I am not
candy corn. I am not. I am
366
00:12:34,101 --> 00:12:35,450
a perfectly balanced
dermatologist
367
00:12:35,493 --> 00:12:37,844
who just needs help
winning back a friend.
368
00:12:37,887 --> 00:12:39,410
Are you really a dermatologist?
369
00:12:39,454 --> 00:12:42,152
Yes. My father and I have
a very successful practice.
370
00:12:42,196 --> 00:12:44,198
Do you do tattoo removals?Of course.
371
00:12:45,721 --> 00:12:47,418
Circus peanuts.
I repeat:
372
00:12:47,462 --> 00:12:48,942
circus peanuts.
Stand down.
373
00:12:48,985 --> 00:12:51,509
I too have a mistake
that needs fixing.
374
00:12:52,989 --> 00:12:54,774
I need the room.
375
00:12:58,865 --> 00:13:01,128
♪ It was the summer
of 1990.
376
00:13:01,171 --> 00:13:03,434
A magical time.
377
00:13:03,478 --> 00:13:04,435
You remember.
378
00:13:04,479 --> 00:13:05,480
I do.
379
00:13:05,523 --> 00:13:07,917
I was on lunch boxes, T-shirts,
380
00:13:07,961 --> 00:13:11,094
bedsheets, trading
cards, even had
381
00:13:11,138 --> 00:13:13,053
my own Saturday morning cartoon.
382
00:13:13,096 --> 00:13:14,315
It was hilarious.
383
00:13:14,358 --> 00:13:16,012
The only place
my face wasn't appearing
384
00:13:16,056 --> 00:13:17,274
was on my body.
385
00:13:17,318 --> 00:13:18,667
Until this.
386
00:13:18,710 --> 00:13:20,147
♪ Yeah
387
00:13:20,190 --> 00:13:21,278
Oh, my God, it's happening.
388
00:13:21,322 --> 00:13:23,367
Just be cool.
Let it play out.
389
00:13:25,413 --> 00:13:27,371
I haven't
done anything
390
00:13:27,415 --> 00:13:29,286
about it because
I didn't want word to get out.
391
00:13:30,461 --> 00:13:32,333
You help me get rid of him,
392
00:13:32,376 --> 00:13:34,248
I'll do the appearance.
393
00:13:34,291 --> 00:13:35,510
Done.
394
00:13:36,859 --> 00:13:38,818
WOMAN [gasps]:
Oh, my God, a giant spider!
395
00:13:41,516 --> 00:13:44,127
[gasps]
Spider! Spider!
396
00:13:44,867 --> 00:13:46,303
[grunts]
397
00:13:46,347 --> 00:13:47,478
No, no, no, no, no, no, no, no!
398
00:13:47,522 --> 00:13:49,350
Don't...
399
00:13:49,393 --> 00:13:52,701
be so cute?
400
00:13:52,744 --> 00:13:54,311
Congratulations.
Boom--
401
00:13:54,355 --> 00:13:56,531
you just conquered
your fear of spiders. Oh!
402
00:13:56,574 --> 00:13:58,707
Hey, and you helped,
you little guy.
403
00:13:58,750 --> 00:14:01,231
Yes, you did. Oh,
you're a good fear.
404
00:14:01,275 --> 00:14:02,842
Good fear.
405
00:14:02,885 --> 00:14:04,626
So how was the meeting
with Joey Mac?
406
00:14:04,669 --> 00:14:06,628
How did you...?
407
00:14:06,671 --> 00:14:08,586
You can't keep
popping up in my life.
408
00:14:08,630 --> 00:14:10,284
Well, as a professional
pimple popper
409
00:14:10,327 --> 00:14:12,112
I thought you'd appreciate
that. Oh, I'm sorry,
410
00:14:12,155 --> 00:14:14,375
you got some of my friendly
fire. Lot of Ps.Okay.
411
00:14:14,418 --> 00:14:15,855
You have to give me some space.
412
00:14:15,898 --> 00:14:17,508
Wh... Space? Well, I'm
barely in your life.
413
00:14:17,552 --> 00:14:19,075
I haven't even met
your family yet.
414
00:14:19,119 --> 00:14:20,337
Yeah, and, again--
not gonna happen.
415
00:14:20,381 --> 00:14:21,948
Oh, listen, I know
you're not convinced
416
00:14:21,991 --> 00:14:23,340
that I'm an angel.
417
00:14:23,384 --> 00:14:26,343
I am more convinced that
that dog is a spider.
418
00:14:26,387 --> 00:14:27,823
[whimpers]
419
00:14:27,867 --> 00:14:30,391
Okay, I know I said
we could be friends,
420
00:14:30,434 --> 00:14:33,394
but friends take breaks
in between hangouts.
421
00:14:33,437 --> 00:14:35,396
Oh. Okay, well, I've
never heard of that,
422
00:14:35,439 --> 00:14:36,919
but that's fine,
take your space.
423
00:14:36,963 --> 00:14:38,921
There's my bus
anyway. Okay?
424
00:14:43,360 --> 00:14:44,927
Sorry, ma'am.
No pets.
425
00:14:44,971 --> 00:14:46,450
Uh, it's
a service spider.
426
00:14:48,017 --> 00:14:50,324
I can't wait to tear Evan
a brand-new one
427
00:14:50,367 --> 00:14:51,368
and completely ignore
the two-drink minimum.
428
00:14:51,412 --> 00:14:53,370
Yeah, they're not
getting our money.
429
00:14:53,414 --> 00:14:55,851
Although the wait staff isn't to
blame for Evan's infidelities.
430
00:14:55,895 --> 00:14:57,157
Excellent point.
431
00:14:57,200 --> 00:14:58,549
Okay.Two gin and Frescas.
432
00:14:58,593 --> 00:14:59,942
Shaken, not laughed at.
433
00:14:59,986 --> 00:15:01,552
[applause]Here he is.
434
00:15:02,989 --> 00:15:05,165
Let's get our heckle on.
435
00:15:05,208 --> 00:15:07,297
Thanks for, uh,
coming out tonight.
436
00:15:07,341 --> 00:15:09,560
This is a new song that I wrote.
437
00:15:09,604 --> 00:15:10,997
It's about loss.
438
00:15:11,040 --> 00:15:12,346
[chuckling]: Oh.
439
00:15:14,435 --> 00:15:17,394
♪ A unicorn and a starfish
440
00:15:17,438 --> 00:15:19,440
♪ Such dear friends of mine
441
00:15:19,483 --> 00:15:21,311
[coughing]:
You call that music?
442
00:15:21,355 --> 00:15:24,227
♪ No chance to tell them
I loved them ♪
443
00:15:24,271 --> 00:15:26,316
♪ And now they are gone
444
00:15:26,360 --> 00:15:28,884
"Gone" and "mine" don't rhyme.
Stop wasting our time.
445
00:15:28,928 --> 00:15:30,886
That's how you do it.
446
00:15:30,930 --> 00:15:32,932
♪ The unicorn was a doctor
447
00:15:32,975 --> 00:15:35,935
♪ But I knew him as Dad
448
00:15:35,978 --> 00:15:37,501
Wait, is this about us?
449
00:15:37,545 --> 00:15:40,722
♪ The starfish sold houses
450
00:15:40,765 --> 00:15:42,376
♪ And his name was Brad
451
00:15:42,419 --> 00:15:43,899
I can't tell yet, but...
452
00:15:43,943 --> 00:15:45,901
I think this little
ditty's growing on me.
453
00:15:45,945 --> 00:15:48,208
♪ I lost my family that day
454
00:15:48,251 --> 00:15:50,340
♪ 'Cause I lost my way
455
00:15:51,428 --> 00:15:53,865
♪ If I could undo it
456
00:15:53,909 --> 00:15:56,999
♪ In their hearts I would stay
457
00:15:57,043 --> 00:15:58,435
AUDIENCE:
Boo!
458
00:15:58,479 --> 00:15:59,610
What's wrong
with these people?
459
00:15:59,654 --> 00:16:01,047
Let the boy sing.
460
00:16:01,090 --> 00:16:03,571
Just don't let him
date your daughter.
461
00:16:06,269 --> 00:16:09,229
Kelly.
Congratulations on the show.
462
00:16:09,272 --> 00:16:10,230
It's fantastic.
463
00:16:10,273 --> 00:16:12,101
Hi. What are you doing here?
464
00:16:12,145 --> 00:16:13,973
Hi. So I know
I screwed up really bad
465
00:16:14,016 --> 00:16:15,583
and I really
want to make it up to you.
466
00:16:15,626 --> 00:16:18,281
So... I got you something.
467
00:16:18,325 --> 00:16:22,155
Okay. Well, tonight's
a really big night for me, so...
468
00:16:22,198 --> 00:16:25,985
It is.
But it's about to get bigger.
469
00:16:26,028 --> 00:16:27,551
[tapping]Ladies and gentlemen,
470
00:16:27,595 --> 00:16:30,119
if I may have your
attention, please.
471
00:16:30,163 --> 00:16:32,295
[exhales]
472
00:16:32,339 --> 00:16:34,297
Kelly, I, uh, I know
473
00:16:34,341 --> 00:16:36,299
we're in the middle
of your big night,
474
00:16:36,343 --> 00:16:38,388
but, uh, I felt
like this just
475
00:16:38,432 --> 00:16:40,347
couldn't wait.
476
00:16:40,390 --> 00:16:42,392
Oh.
[giggles softly]
477
00:16:42,436 --> 00:16:43,350
Kelly, we have
478
00:16:43,393 --> 00:16:44,916
been together
for two
479
00:16:44,960 --> 00:16:46,266
amazing years.
480
00:16:46,309 --> 00:16:47,832
[music starts playing]
481
00:16:51,358 --> 00:16:53,273
Kelly. What up, girl?
482
00:16:53,316 --> 00:16:55,275
I'm here because your friend
once ruined
483
00:16:55,318 --> 00:16:57,190
what should have been
a very special moment
484
00:16:57,233 --> 00:16:58,887
with your boyfriend.
She wants you to know
485
00:16:58,930 --> 00:17:01,281
she's sorry and that
it'll never happen again.
486
00:17:04,110 --> 00:17:06,199
Oh, God, it's, uh,
happening again right now.
487
00:17:06,242 --> 00:17:08,244
Good night, Los Angeles.
488
00:17:10,681 --> 00:17:12,509
You guys, I am so sorry...
489
00:17:12,553 --> 00:17:13,815
Allison, just stop it.
490
00:17:13,858 --> 00:17:15,121
You're like a
guided missile
491
00:17:15,164 --> 00:17:17,427
set to destroy every milestone
492
00:17:17,471 --> 00:17:18,776
in our relationship.
493
00:17:18,820 --> 00:17:20,387
And for your information,
494
00:17:20,430 --> 00:17:23,216
I'm a much more attentive lover
than I used to be.
495
00:17:23,259 --> 00:17:25,044
Oh.
496
00:17:25,087 --> 00:17:26,349
Anyway, where
was I? Um,
497
00:17:26,393 --> 00:17:28,134
sweetheart...[giggles]
498
00:17:28,177 --> 00:17:30,005
Look, I'm sorry,
I really just didn't know...
499
00:17:30,049 --> 00:17:32,616
Oh, my God, can I please
finish my proposal?!
500
00:17:32,660 --> 00:17:34,488
Just go, Allison.
501
00:17:36,403 --> 00:17:37,621
Kelly...
502
00:17:37,665 --> 00:17:40,798
Uh, just-just get up,
Hank, it's over.
503
00:17:40,842 --> 00:17:42,104
I'll marry you.
504
00:17:42,148 --> 00:17:43,323
Thank you.
I love you.
505
00:17:43,366 --> 00:17:45,064
Hooray.
506
00:17:45,107 --> 00:17:46,413
[scattered applause]
507
00:17:50,982 --> 00:17:53,376
I heard about
last night.How?
508
00:17:53,420 --> 00:17:56,292
I work in the art world
as a part-time full-nude model.
509
00:17:56,336 --> 00:17:57,989
I am such an idiot.
510
00:17:58,033 --> 00:18:00,601
I don't know why I had to go
so big with my apology.
511
00:18:00,644 --> 00:18:04,083
I do. Your biggest fear
isn't clowns, spiders or Kelly.
512
00:18:04,953 --> 00:18:07,825
It's being alone.
513
00:18:07,869 --> 00:18:10,306
Listen, kid, I know you probably
feel like a lot of people
514
00:18:10,350 --> 00:18:13,701
have left you recently,
what with your mom passing away
515
00:18:13,744 --> 00:18:16,530
and that fiasco
with Evan and Jill,
516
00:18:16,573 --> 00:18:18,009
and maybe now
you're thinking that
517
00:18:18,053 --> 00:18:20,055
it's happening again with Kelly.
518
00:18:20,099 --> 00:18:22,797
Wow.Aw.
519
00:18:22,840 --> 00:18:24,973
Are you crying?
520
00:18:25,016 --> 00:18:28,890
Because we get bonuses
for epiphany tears.
521
00:18:28,933 --> 00:18:30,979
I guess I have been
feeling really alone.
522
00:18:31,022 --> 00:18:32,067
And that's why you've been doing
everything in your power
523
00:18:32,111 --> 00:18:33,329
to make it up to Kelly,
524
00:18:33,373 --> 00:18:34,983
when all you have to
do is sit down
525
00:18:35,026 --> 00:18:37,377
with her, give her
a straightforward,
526
00:18:37,420 --> 00:18:39,466
honest apology.
527
00:18:39,509 --> 00:18:40,902
Even if
that means
528
00:18:40,945 --> 00:18:43,078
she's not gonna
be your friend anymore.
529
00:18:43,122 --> 00:18:44,558
Maybe you're right.
530
00:18:44,601 --> 00:18:46,081
You know who else
would agree with me?
531
00:18:46,951 --> 00:18:48,388
Your dead mother.
532
00:18:48,431 --> 00:18:49,954
I am not going to cry for you.
533
00:18:49,998 --> 00:18:50,999
Smart girl.
534
00:18:51,042 --> 00:18:52,087
Save it for your friend.
535
00:18:52,131 --> 00:18:54,002
Kelly, Kelly, Kelly!
536
00:18:54,045 --> 00:18:56,396
Oh, my gosh, is that
another coincidence?
537
00:18:56,439 --> 00:18:58,137
You got to be kidding me.
538
00:18:58,180 --> 00:19:00,008
You're the anonymous buyer?
539
00:19:00,051 --> 00:19:01,314
Yeah.
540
00:19:01,357 --> 00:19:03,142
Yeah. Yeah, that's me.
541
00:19:03,185 --> 00:19:05,231
I'm the buyer.
542
00:19:05,274 --> 00:19:08,147
I guess we're, uh...
we're going live.
543
00:19:08,190 --> 00:19:09,670
Okay. I know
544
00:19:09,713 --> 00:19:12,151
I screwed up majorly.
545
00:19:12,194 --> 00:19:15,154
Not just with the birthday
and the proposal,
546
00:19:15,197 --> 00:19:17,025
but as your friend.
547
00:19:19,114 --> 00:19:20,681
You were
the first person
548
00:19:20,724 --> 00:19:24,119
I cared about
outside of my family, and
549
00:19:24,163 --> 00:19:26,774
at the risk
of you telling me off,
550
00:19:26,817 --> 00:19:29,255
I want to make it up to you
in every way I can.
551
00:19:29,298 --> 00:19:32,823
'Cause I really don't
want to lose your friendship.
552
00:19:32,867 --> 00:19:36,087
Well...
553
00:19:36,131 --> 00:19:39,439
buying a $5,000 photograph
is a good way to start.
554
00:19:39,482 --> 00:19:41,180
$5,000...
[nervous chuckle]
555
00:19:41,223 --> 00:19:44,226
Yeah, yeah.
556
00:19:44,270 --> 00:19:46,359
That's a good way to start.
557
00:19:46,402 --> 00:19:49,144
The clown photo?
558
00:19:49,188 --> 00:19:50,232
The clown!
559
00:19:53,279 --> 00:19:56,064
Hey, Amy.
560
00:19:56,107 --> 00:19:57,457
So, how'd it go with Kelly?
561
00:19:57,500 --> 00:20:00,024
She asked me to be a bridesmaid.
562
00:20:00,068 --> 00:20:02,679
Oh, I'm so sorry.
563
00:20:02,723 --> 00:20:04,377
What?
No, it's a good thing.
564
00:20:04,420 --> 00:20:06,596
No, it's really not. I
saw the dresses she picked out--
565
00:20:06,640 --> 00:20:08,642
you're gonna look like a big ol'
fuchsia berry up there.
566
00:20:08,685 --> 00:20:10,252
Oh, well, thanks
for the warning.
567
00:20:10,296 --> 00:20:11,601
Mm.
568
00:20:11,645 --> 00:20:13,429
And thank you
for everything else.
569
00:20:13,473 --> 00:20:14,778
You're welcome.
570
00:20:14,822 --> 00:20:16,084
Are you starting to understand
571
00:20:16,127 --> 00:20:17,390
why you need a guardian angel?
572
00:20:17,433 --> 00:20:19,653
No, but I am starting to see
573
00:20:19,696 --> 00:20:21,916
the upside of having
a weird friend.
574
00:20:21,959 --> 00:20:24,048
Oh. And this weird friend
575
00:20:24,092 --> 00:20:28,270
is learning how to give you
your space. [clicks tongue]
576
00:20:28,314 --> 00:20:32,013
Amy?Yeah?
577
00:20:32,056 --> 00:20:34,015
Would you like to have lunch
with me and my brother
578
00:20:34,058 --> 00:20:35,016
sometime next week?
579
00:20:35,059 --> 00:20:37,018
Mm-hmm.
580
00:20:37,061 --> 00:20:38,976
Yeah, I think I could
make that work.
581
00:20:39,020 --> 00:20:40,717
Great.
I'll see you then.
582
00:20:46,114 --> 00:20:48,116
I'm gonna meet the fam.
583
00:20:50,031 --> 00:20:53,121
Oh.
584
00:20:53,164 --> 00:20:55,123
That doesn't count,
I'm off the clock.
585
00:20:55,166 --> 00:20:57,168
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