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1
00:00:04,830 --> 00:00:06,571
Anna-Kat, are you done
with your breakfast?
2
00:00:06,658 --> 00:00:07,746
[ Keyboard clacking ]
3
00:00:07,833 --> 00:00:09,270
Anna-Kat!
4
00:00:09,357 --> 00:00:11,011
Did you know
the Wildflower Girls Camp
5
00:00:11,098 --> 00:00:13,709
has a ropes course, canoeing,
and horseback riding?
6
00:00:14,840 --> 00:00:16,799
Yeah -- kids change.
7
00:00:16,886 --> 00:00:18,801
The packing list says
that fifth graders and above
8
00:00:18,888 --> 00:00:20,585
need to bring
feminine hygiene products,
9
00:00:20,672 --> 00:00:22,718
which means
this could be my year!
10
00:00:27,331 --> 00:00:28,680
Can you believe it?
11
00:00:28,767 --> 00:00:30,291
Anna-Kat is going
to sleepaway camp!
12
00:00:30,378 --> 00:00:32,119
We have taken her
from being a weirdo
13
00:00:32,206 --> 00:00:33,859
to a strong,
confident girl.
14
00:00:33,946 --> 00:00:36,645
She just gave her dad
a high-five about menstruating.
15
00:00:36,732 --> 00:00:39,039
She still has
a little weirdo left in her.
16
00:00:39,126 --> 00:00:40,518
Kate. Donks.
17
00:00:40,605 --> 00:00:42,129
[ Door closes ]
18
00:00:42,216 --> 00:00:44,348
Read the latest draft
of the book. Love it.
19
00:00:44,435 --> 00:00:47,351
The ending still needs a little
work, so meet me in our office.
20
00:00:47,438 --> 00:00:49,353
Uh, we might be working late,
so I brought you
21
00:00:49,440 --> 00:00:51,660
some of those canned
protein drinks for old women.
22
00:00:53,531 --> 00:00:55,229
This is the fifth conclusion
he's shot down.
23
00:00:55,316 --> 00:00:57,013
I keep trying to be poignant,
but I guess
24
00:00:57,100 --> 00:00:59,059
I'll just give him
what he wants --
a happy ending.
25
00:01:00,408 --> 00:01:01,365
Thanks for
not saying anything.
26
00:01:01,452 --> 00:01:02,323
Mm-hmm.
27
00:01:02,410 --> 00:01:03,933
Mom!
28
00:01:04,020 --> 00:01:06,283
The list for graduation
came out, and I'm not on it!
29
00:01:06,370 --> 00:01:08,285
It's only two days away!
What was it?
30
00:01:08,372 --> 00:01:09,591
You didn't
turn a paper in?
31
00:01:09,678 --> 00:01:11,332
You forgot
to fill out some forms?
32
00:01:11,419 --> 00:01:13,160
No, my freshman year, I gave
you a library book to return,
33
00:01:13,247 --> 00:01:14,987
and you never did.
34
00:01:15,075 --> 00:01:16,467
That sounds about right.
35
00:01:16,554 --> 00:01:18,034
I'm not going to graduate
because of you!
36
00:01:18,121 --> 00:01:19,557
Okay, calm down.
I'm your mother.
37
00:01:19,644 --> 00:01:20,732
I'll take care of it.
38
00:01:20,819 --> 00:01:22,734
Okay. Thank you.
39
00:01:22,821 --> 00:01:25,868
And, Taylor, a little gratitude
would be nice.
40
00:01:25,955 --> 00:01:27,217
I literally
just said "Thank you."
41
00:01:27,304 --> 00:01:28,653
To be fair,
I wasn't listening.
42
00:01:28,740 --> 00:01:30,133
♪♪
43
00:01:30,220 --> 00:01:33,136
--Captions by VITAC--
44
00:01:33,223 --> 00:01:36,444
♪♪
45
00:01:36,531 --> 00:01:38,010
I like all your endings,
46
00:01:38,098 --> 00:01:40,100
but they're not making me
want to hit "Subscribe."
47
00:01:40,187 --> 00:01:41,492
I don't know what else
to say about your life.
48
00:01:41,579 --> 00:01:43,407
You're only 25 years old.
49
00:01:43,494 --> 00:01:45,148
You shoot your friends
with paintball guns,
50
00:01:45,235 --> 00:01:47,019
then buy them
fast-food franchises.
51
00:01:47,107 --> 00:01:48,020
[ Laughs ]
52
00:01:48,108 --> 00:01:49,718
I dodo that.
53
00:01:49,805 --> 00:01:51,763
I still think
we need a great ending,
54
00:01:51,850 --> 00:01:54,940
and you and I are not gonna
rest until we come up with one.
55
00:01:55,027 --> 00:01:56,203
[ Sighs ]
56
00:01:59,771 --> 00:02:01,512
That's smart.
57
00:02:01,599 --> 00:02:03,253
I need my lady
sharp tonight.
58
00:02:03,340 --> 00:02:05,255
♪♪
59
00:02:05,342 --> 00:02:07,257
[ School bell rings ]
60
00:02:07,344 --> 00:02:09,738
Next year's gonna be amazing.
We'll be juniors.
61
00:02:09,825 --> 00:02:11,305
We can drive ourselves
to school.
62
00:02:11,392 --> 00:02:13,829
We'll be in that
hot Spanish teacher's class.
63
00:02:13,916 --> 00:02:16,092
Both: Señora Campos!
64
00:02:16,179 --> 00:02:18,399
So, me and Kelly,
we didn't know if we were
gonna stay together
65
00:02:18,486 --> 00:02:19,965
while she's at Penn
and I'm at Tufts.
66
00:02:20,052 --> 00:02:21,793
But then we took
that online quiz
67
00:02:21,880 --> 00:02:23,882
"Are You and Your High School
Sweetheart Built to Last?"
68
00:02:23,969 --> 00:02:25,580
and it looks like
we totally are.
69
00:02:25,667 --> 00:02:27,364
Well, Trip and I
don't have to worry about that.
70
00:02:27,451 --> 00:02:29,061
Yeah, she's staying in town
taking a gap year,
71
00:02:29,149 --> 00:02:30,541
and I'm going to college.
72
00:02:30,628 --> 00:02:31,803
I'm just not sure
where to apply yet.
73
00:02:31,890 --> 00:02:33,544
You had to apply
months ago.
74
00:02:33,631 --> 00:02:35,285
Oh.
75
00:02:35,372 --> 00:02:37,244
I guess I'm taking a gap year,
too. [ Chuckles ]
76
00:02:37,331 --> 00:02:38,723
We should take the quiz
anyway.
77
00:02:38,810 --> 00:02:40,247
Just for fun.
78
00:02:40,334 --> 00:02:41,683
Well, yeah,
even if it's just for fun,
79
00:02:41,770 --> 00:02:42,858
I'm supposed to
get extra time to take it.
80
00:02:42,945 --> 00:02:44,033
It's in my chart.
81
00:02:44,120 --> 00:02:47,079
♪♪
82
00:02:47,167 --> 00:02:48,820
What do you mean, you don't
want me to go to camp?!
83
00:02:48,907 --> 00:02:50,692
It looks so fun!
84
00:02:50,779 --> 00:02:53,260
There's no more dangerous place
in the world than summer camp.
85
00:02:53,347 --> 00:02:55,218
Except maybe Olive Garden.
86
00:02:55,305 --> 00:02:57,786
Those unlimited breadsticks
are dangerous to my waistline.
87
00:02:57,873 --> 00:02:59,309
How could it be dangerous?
88
00:02:59,396 --> 00:03:01,006
It's just
super-fun activities.
89
00:03:01,093 --> 00:03:02,486
They have dodgeball.
90
00:03:02,573 --> 00:03:03,618
More like death-ball.
91
00:03:03,705 --> 00:03:04,619
Water skiing.
92
00:03:04,706 --> 00:03:05,533
Water-dying.
93
00:03:05,620 --> 00:03:06,838
Arts and crafts.
94
00:03:06,925 --> 00:03:08,710
Arts and dying.
I can do this all day.
95
00:03:08,797 --> 00:03:10,668
Wow.
96
00:03:10,755 --> 00:03:13,280
I was so excited, but I hadn't
really considered all the --
97
00:03:13,367 --> 00:03:15,630
All the dying?
I know. No one does.
98
00:03:15,717 --> 00:03:18,154
I'm sorry, but I'm gonna
have to say no to this idea.
99
00:03:18,241 --> 00:03:20,112
I'm glad I talked to you
before I went.
100
00:03:20,200 --> 00:03:21,766
I probably
saved your life today.
101
00:03:21,853 --> 00:03:25,466
♪♪
102
00:03:25,553 --> 00:03:27,337
Slow down, punks.
103
00:03:27,424 --> 00:03:30,471
Katie! Just the person
I wanted to see.
104
00:03:30,558 --> 00:03:33,430
Ablin, for the thousandth time,
I don't plan parties anymore,
105
00:03:33,517 --> 00:03:35,040
so I'm not going to do
your strange wedding.
106
00:03:35,127 --> 00:03:36,520
It's not strange
to wear a kilt.
107
00:03:36,607 --> 00:03:37,782
You're not Scottish.
108
00:03:37,869 --> 00:03:39,349
I get sweaty
when I get nervous,
109
00:03:39,436 --> 00:03:40,829
and it's the only
socially acceptable way
110
00:03:40,916 --> 00:03:42,831
for me
to ventilate my nethers.
111
00:03:42,918 --> 00:03:43,919
Ugh.
112
00:03:44,006 --> 00:03:49,620
♪♪
113
00:03:49,707 --> 00:03:50,839
Excuse me.
114
00:03:53,058 --> 00:03:55,017
Tara.
What are you doing here?
115
00:03:55,104 --> 00:03:56,801
I volunteer
two afternoons a week.
116
00:03:56,888 --> 00:03:59,500
Because Icare about
giving back to the community.
117
00:03:59,587 --> 00:04:01,502
[ Groans ]What do you want, Katie?
118
00:04:01,589 --> 00:04:04,766
I have to pay Taylor's library
fine so that she can graduate.
119
00:04:06,158 --> 00:04:07,508
[ Sighs ]
120
00:04:07,595 --> 00:04:09,031
[ Buzzer ]
121
00:04:09,118 --> 00:04:10,902
[ Scoffs ] The book
is four years late.
122
00:04:10,989 --> 00:04:12,948
Paying a fine isn't
even an option anymore.
123
00:04:13,035 --> 00:04:14,645
Just says
"See administrator."
124
00:04:14,732 --> 00:04:16,125
Tara, can you
just help me out?
125
00:04:16,212 --> 00:04:17,692
I promise I'll stop
bringing the class
126
00:04:17,779 --> 00:04:19,998
vegan cupcakes that are
not even remotely vegan.
127
00:04:20,085 --> 00:04:21,565
You what?
128
00:04:21,652 --> 00:04:23,698
You can't bake without eggs.
Everyone knows that.
129
00:04:23,785 --> 00:04:26,004
Even you stupid vegans.
130
00:04:26,091 --> 00:04:29,138
Even if I wantedto help you --
which I don't --
131
00:04:29,225 --> 00:04:30,661
I can't.
132
00:04:30,748 --> 00:04:32,141
It's a computer thing,
and I don't have the code
133
00:04:32,228 --> 00:04:33,490
to override the system.
134
00:04:33,577 --> 00:04:35,013
Who does?
135
00:04:35,100 --> 00:04:37,407
So, you want your daughter
to graduate,
136
00:04:37,494 --> 00:04:40,497
but she can't unless
I punch in my administrative
override code.
137
00:04:40,584 --> 00:04:43,152
What to do?
What to do?
138
00:04:43,239 --> 00:04:44,501
Fine!
139
00:04:44,588 --> 00:04:45,546
I'll plan your wedding.
140
00:04:45,633 --> 00:04:46,503
Great.
141
00:04:46,590 --> 00:04:48,244
So, during summer break,
142
00:04:48,331 --> 00:04:49,941
Maria and I wish to take
a riverboat trip together.
143
00:04:50,028 --> 00:04:52,509
But Mother will not
let us travel in sin.
144
00:04:52,596 --> 00:04:53,902
You're a grown man.
145
00:04:53,989 --> 00:04:56,078
One might say an oldman.
146
00:04:56,165 --> 00:04:57,601
Why do you still listen
to your mother?
147
00:04:57,688 --> 00:04:59,560
Because I don't want
to get grounded.
148
00:04:59,647 --> 00:05:01,518
In any event, we must be wed
in the next two days.
149
00:05:01,605 --> 00:05:03,041
The riverboat leaves
out of Chicago
150
00:05:03,128 --> 00:05:05,130
shortly after graduation.
151
00:05:05,217 --> 00:05:06,741
It's not gonna be easy
to throw together a wedding
at the last second.
152
00:05:06,828 --> 00:05:07,742
What's your budget?
153
00:05:07,829 --> 00:05:09,309
$195.
Ugh.
154
00:05:09,396 --> 00:05:11,485
We spent all our money
on the riverboat cruise,
155
00:05:11,572 --> 00:05:13,269
but it's top-of-the-line.
156
00:05:13,356 --> 00:05:15,097
We're only sharing our room
with four other couples.
157
00:05:15,184 --> 00:05:17,447
I guess I could
pull together a small --
158
00:05:17,534 --> 00:05:19,971
No. Maria's always dreamed
of a bigwedding.
159
00:05:20,058 --> 00:05:21,495
Can you get the guest list
together in time?
160
00:05:21,582 --> 00:05:23,105
Oh, that'll be easy.
161
00:05:23,192 --> 00:05:24,715
Neither of us
have much family,
162
00:05:24,802 --> 00:05:26,108
and our friend will be
out of town that day.
163
00:05:26,195 --> 00:05:27,501
Then how is it
going to be big?
164
00:05:27,588 --> 00:05:28,980
That's up to you
to figure out,
165
00:05:29,067 --> 00:05:31,200
if you want your daughter
to graduate.
166
00:05:31,287 --> 00:05:32,767
Anything else?
167
00:05:32,854 --> 00:05:34,377
Yes.
168
00:05:34,464 --> 00:05:36,161
Maria wants to walk down
the aisle to bagpipes,
169
00:05:36,248 --> 00:05:38,120
and she wants the whole thing
professionally videoed.
170
00:05:38,207 --> 00:05:40,905
You want all that
for $195?
171
00:05:40,992 --> 00:05:41,776
Ooh!
172
00:05:41,863 --> 00:05:42,951
Actually...
173
00:05:43,038 --> 00:05:44,387
$191.55.
174
00:05:44,474 --> 00:05:45,867
I got a Starbucks
this morning.
175
00:05:45,954 --> 00:05:46,868
[ Chuckles ]
176
00:05:52,003 --> 00:05:53,614
♪♪
177
00:05:53,701 --> 00:05:55,485
Basically,
I'm being blackmailed.
178
00:05:55,572 --> 00:05:59,184
In order for Taylor to graduate,
I have to plan Ablin's wedding.
179
00:05:59,271 --> 00:06:00,490
That's so unfair.
180
00:06:00,577 --> 00:06:01,839
Actually,
it's kind of my fault.
181
00:06:01,926 --> 00:06:03,363
Yeah, I had a feeling.
182
00:06:03,450 --> 00:06:05,190
Where am I going to
find 200 warm bodies
183
00:06:05,277 --> 00:06:07,628
to sit quietly and watch
a couple of strangers
get married?
184
00:06:07,715 --> 00:06:10,587
Well, would you say there'd be
200 of those warm bodies
185
00:06:10,674 --> 00:06:12,284
at graduation?
186
00:06:12,372 --> 00:06:14,243
Are you saying
that Ablin and Maria
187
00:06:14,330 --> 00:06:16,158
should get married
in the middle of graduation?
188
00:06:16,245 --> 00:06:17,942
You've got the crowd,
you've got the venue.
189
00:06:18,029 --> 00:06:20,162
And there are already
drinks and desserts afterward,
190
00:06:20,249 --> 00:06:21,685
so you don't have
to pay for a reception.
191
00:06:21,772 --> 00:06:23,948
Oh, my God!
This could actually work!
192
00:06:24,035 --> 00:06:25,472
I suppose I have
to ask for permission.
193
00:06:25,559 --> 00:06:27,343
Who is in charge
of the graduation committee?
194
00:06:27,430 --> 00:06:28,388
Tara Summers.
195
00:06:28,475 --> 00:06:29,432
Huh.
196
00:06:29,519 --> 00:06:31,173
If I didn't know better,
197
00:06:31,260 --> 00:06:33,131
I'd think all my feuds
make my life more difficult.
198
00:06:33,218 --> 00:06:34,219
[ Both laugh ]
199
00:06:34,306 --> 00:06:39,399
♪♪
200
00:06:39,486 --> 00:06:40,835
I'm done with the quiz.
201
00:06:40,922 --> 00:06:42,053
I just finished
my last question.
202
00:06:42,140 --> 00:06:43,141
Here we go.
203
00:06:43,228 --> 00:06:44,665
Whoo! We did it!
204
00:06:44,752 --> 00:06:46,275
What are you
talking about?
205
00:06:46,362 --> 00:06:47,668
It says we're
a "dumpster fire of a couple."
206
00:06:47,755 --> 00:06:49,452
Yeah.
Dumpster fires are good.
207
00:06:49,539 --> 00:06:51,019
They make the lighting
in the alley all cool
208
00:06:51,106 --> 00:06:52,542
for when the turtles
come out of the sewer
209
00:06:52,629 --> 00:06:54,196
and beat up bad guys
and eat pizza and stuff.
210
00:06:54,283 --> 00:06:56,459
No, dumpster fires
are not good, Trip.
211
00:06:56,546 --> 00:06:58,635
This quiz says
we're never gonna make it!
212
00:06:58,722 --> 00:07:00,332
Babe, are you serious
right now?
213
00:07:00,420 --> 00:07:02,509
It's just an online quiz.
214
00:07:02,596 --> 00:07:04,380
But Bailey and Garrett
took it, and they broke up
because of it.
215
00:07:04,467 --> 00:07:06,034
And they were
perfect together.
216
00:07:06,121 --> 00:07:07,775
Bailey and Garrett
don't have what wehave.
217
00:07:07,862 --> 00:07:09,603
I guess.
218
00:07:09,690 --> 00:07:11,866
Also, Bailey and Garrett didn't
break up because of the quiz.
219
00:07:11,953 --> 00:07:13,868
They broke up
because they found out
they're first cousins.
220
00:07:13,955 --> 00:07:19,526
♪♪
221
00:07:19,613 --> 00:07:20,744
Wow, you look terrible.
222
00:07:20,831 --> 00:07:22,398
What happened?
223
00:07:22,485 --> 00:07:23,747
Did one of your footmen
apply for parental leave?
224
00:07:23,834 --> 00:07:25,880
Gustav did,
and he's been spoken to.
225
00:07:25,967 --> 00:07:28,709
But no, this is
more serious than that.
226
00:07:28,796 --> 00:07:31,059
My parents bought an estate
in Palm Beach.
227
00:07:31,146 --> 00:07:32,495
Oh, that's sick, bro!
228
00:07:32,582 --> 00:07:34,541
No, you don't understand.
229
00:07:34,628 --> 00:07:36,107
They're selling
our Westport estate.
230
00:07:36,194 --> 00:07:38,022
We're moving to Florida.
231
00:07:38,109 --> 00:07:39,589
Oh, so you're gonna
take the private jet
to school every day?
232
00:07:39,676 --> 00:07:42,418
No, because...I'll be
going to school down there.
233
00:07:42,505 --> 00:07:44,202
Wait.
234
00:07:44,289 --> 00:07:46,074
You're seriously moving?
235
00:07:46,161 --> 00:07:48,424
Florida has
no state income tax.
236
00:07:48,511 --> 00:07:50,034
It was either there
or the Caymans.
237
00:07:50,121 --> 00:07:52,080
And my mother's
allergic to conch,
238
00:07:52,167 --> 00:07:53,298
so it's like,
what's the point?
239
00:07:53,385 --> 00:07:54,691
Dude, you can't go.
240
00:07:54,778 --> 00:07:56,127
We've got plans.
241
00:07:56,214 --> 00:07:57,520
[ Sighs ]
242
00:07:59,217 --> 00:08:00,436
[ Scoffs ]
243
00:08:00,523 --> 00:08:02,003
Can't believe
this is happening.
244
00:08:02,090 --> 00:08:03,526
[ Sighs ]
245
00:08:03,613 --> 00:08:05,485
Florida.
246
00:08:05,572 --> 00:08:08,313
I mean, I'm happy for you
fiscally, but...
247
00:08:08,400 --> 00:08:09,401
I know.
248
00:08:09,489 --> 00:08:11,491
♪♪
249
00:08:11,578 --> 00:08:12,796
[ Sighs ]
250
00:08:12,883 --> 00:08:16,800
♪♪
251
00:08:16,887 --> 00:08:19,803
Okay, I need someone who's
already a part of graduation
252
00:08:19,890 --> 00:08:22,153
who's also ordained
to marry them.
253
00:08:22,240 --> 00:08:23,459
Plus a bagpiper.
254
00:08:23,546 --> 00:08:25,026
Oh, the things you do
for your kid.
255
00:08:25,113 --> 00:08:26,984
Isn't this all your fault?[ Laughs ]
256
00:08:27,071 --> 00:08:29,857
Like I would ever verbally
acknowledge any part in this.
257
00:08:29,944 --> 00:08:31,598
Watch a cop show, Greg.
258
00:08:31,685 --> 00:08:32,599
[ Door closes ]
259
00:08:32,686 --> 00:08:34,165
Oh, hey, honey.
260
00:08:34,252 --> 00:08:35,906
So, I've decided
not to go to camp this summer.
261
00:08:35,993 --> 00:08:37,038
What are you
talking about?
262
00:08:37,125 --> 00:08:38,648
You were
so excited to go.
263
00:08:38,735 --> 00:08:40,563
Well, I was, but then
I talked to Franklin,
264
00:08:40,650 --> 00:08:43,131
and he said that camp is
way too dangerous
265
00:08:43,218 --> 00:08:44,828
and is not on board
with me going.
266
00:08:44,915 --> 00:08:46,264
First of all,
we would never
267
00:08:46,351 --> 00:08:47,614
send you to a camp
that wasn't safe.
268
00:08:47,701 --> 00:08:49,572
And second, Anna-Kat,
269
00:08:49,659 --> 00:08:52,096
I have raised you to be
an independent young woman.
270
00:08:52,183 --> 00:08:54,359
If there is something
that you want to do,
271
00:08:54,446 --> 00:08:56,361
don't ever let a boy
get in your way.
272
00:08:56,448 --> 00:08:57,798
Are you sure?
273
00:08:57,885 --> 00:08:59,669
Franklin made it sound
really scary.
274
00:08:59,756 --> 00:09:01,366
He thinks
everything'sscary.
275
00:09:01,453 --> 00:09:03,194
The kid's 11 years old
and wears a Life Alert
necklace.
276
00:09:03,281 --> 00:09:04,631
You're right!
277
00:09:04,718 --> 00:09:05,501
I don't have to
listen to Franklin
278
00:09:05,588 --> 00:09:07,634
just because he's a boy.
279
00:09:07,721 --> 00:09:08,765
Exactly. You don't have
to listen to anyone
just because --
280
00:09:08,852 --> 00:09:09,679
Quiet, you!
281
00:09:10,680 --> 00:09:16,164
♪♪
282
00:09:16,251 --> 00:09:17,687
[ Car alarm chirps ]
283
00:09:17,774 --> 00:09:19,167
[ Elderly voice ]
Pardon me, young man!
284
00:09:20,342 --> 00:09:22,474
[ Laughs ]
285
00:09:22,562 --> 00:09:24,085
[ Normal voice ]
Yeah!
286
00:09:24,172 --> 00:09:28,045
The ultimate prank --
the paintball bazooka!
287
00:09:28,132 --> 00:09:30,221
I paid the robotics team
at MIT to create it.
288
00:09:30,308 --> 00:09:31,962
Totally worth it.
289
00:09:32,049 --> 00:09:34,051
Not worth it, but at least
we have an ending to your book.
290
00:09:34,138 --> 00:09:35,487
Congrats, Lonnie.
Pbht.
291
00:09:35,575 --> 00:09:37,577
Mm, I-I don't know.
292
00:09:37,664 --> 00:09:39,535
I think we move this
up to the beginning
293
00:09:39,622 --> 00:09:41,668
a-and then we try to figure out
a way to top ourselves.
294
00:09:41,755 --> 00:09:44,279
You want to top yourself?
Do it on your own time.
295
00:09:44,366 --> 00:09:47,848
I'm done with you,
and I'm done with this project!
296
00:09:47,935 --> 00:09:49,458
Donks,
don't be like that.
297
00:09:50,590 --> 00:09:52,940
Fine!
I don't need you!
298
00:09:53,027 --> 00:09:54,681
I'll just go find
another old dude!
299
00:09:54,768 --> 00:09:56,813
There's a Tommy Bahama
three blocks from here!
300
00:09:56,900 --> 00:10:00,164
♪♪
301
00:10:00,251 --> 00:10:01,818
[ Click ]
Done.
302
00:10:01,905 --> 00:10:03,690
Okay. I finished, too.
303
00:10:03,777 --> 00:10:05,387
Let's try this again.
304
00:10:05,474 --> 00:10:06,606
[ Gasps ] Fireworks!
305
00:10:06,693 --> 00:10:07,432
No!
306
00:10:07,519 --> 00:10:09,217
Nuclear bomb!
307
00:10:09,304 --> 00:10:10,653
We are never
gonna make it!
308
00:10:10,740 --> 00:10:13,395
♪♪
309
00:10:13,482 --> 00:10:16,833
Maria, this wedding dress
belonged to my friend Doris.
310
00:10:16,920 --> 00:10:18,487
It's custom-made,
from Italy.
311
00:10:18,574 --> 00:10:19,749
It's exquisite!
312
00:10:19,836 --> 00:10:21,359
[ Gasps ]
313
00:10:21,446 --> 00:10:23,884
This has a fairly
substantial burn mark.
314
00:10:23,971 --> 00:10:26,060
Yeah, Doris got a little
arson-y after the divorce.
315
00:10:26,147 --> 00:10:27,539
But it's free.
316
00:10:27,627 --> 00:10:29,063
Maria, you're crafty.
You can fix it.
317
00:10:29,150 --> 00:10:31,239
She hemmed my pajamas
into shorties.
318
00:10:31,326 --> 00:10:32,632
They're quite short.
319
00:10:32,719 --> 00:10:34,329
[ Chuckles ]
320
00:10:34,416 --> 00:10:36,200
And who will be performing
our sacred vows?
321
00:10:36,287 --> 00:10:37,767
I haven't nailed that down yet,
but don't worry.
322
00:10:37,854 --> 00:10:39,116
I'm working on it.
323
00:10:39,203 --> 00:10:40,770
Well, until you do
figure it out,
324
00:10:40,857 --> 00:10:42,424
your little piggy will
not be going to market.
325
00:10:42,511 --> 00:10:44,034
Your little piggy
will stay home.
326
00:10:44,121 --> 00:10:46,167
I call all students
little piggies.
327
00:10:46,254 --> 00:10:48,299
Market is graduation.
Home is home.
328
00:10:48,386 --> 00:10:49,910
After all this,
the two of us are going back
329
00:10:49,997 --> 00:10:51,563
to a more formal
relationship.
330
00:10:55,698 --> 00:10:57,613
Mrs. A, Taylor just told me
to go home.
331
00:10:57,700 --> 00:10:59,267
That stupid quiz is
messing with her head.
332
00:10:59,354 --> 00:11:00,747
Don't pay attention
to quizzes, Trip.
333
00:11:00,834 --> 00:11:02,357
I literally never have.
334
00:11:02,444 --> 00:11:03,793
But Taylor did, and now
she's really upset with me.
335
00:11:03,880 --> 00:11:05,577
She won't even listen
to what I have to say.
336
00:11:05,665 --> 00:11:08,450
What I suggest you do is
to trick her into hearing you.
337
00:11:08,537 --> 00:11:11,235
Tricking is a major part
of any long-term relationship.
338
00:11:11,322 --> 00:11:13,281
If only it was that easy
to get this wedding sorted out.
339
00:11:13,368 --> 00:11:14,804
I don't even have someone
to marry them.
340
00:11:14,891 --> 00:11:16,153
I can do it.
341
00:11:16,240 --> 00:11:17,589
You have to be ordained.I'm ordained.
342
00:11:17,677 --> 00:11:19,243
I did it online
so I could
343
00:11:19,330 --> 00:11:21,071
perform a marriage ceremony
for Anna-Kat's toy ponies,
344
00:11:21,158 --> 00:11:23,117
Twinkle Toes
and Duffy McSprinkles.
345
00:11:23,204 --> 00:11:23,987
She wanted it legal.
346
00:11:24,074 --> 00:11:25,032
That's amazing!
347
00:11:25,119 --> 00:11:26,468
Now all I need is someone
348
00:11:26,555 --> 00:11:27,904
who knows
how to play the bagpipes.
349
00:11:27,991 --> 00:11:28,949
Franklin wasn't available?
350
00:11:29,036 --> 00:11:30,733
Franklin plays the bagpipes?
351
00:11:30,820 --> 00:11:32,474
Yeah.
352
00:11:32,561 --> 00:11:34,041
He joined a bagpiping group
as a way to rehab his asthma,
353
00:11:34,128 --> 00:11:35,259
and it turned into
a passion.
354
00:11:35,346 --> 00:11:36,304
Then it's all set.
355
00:11:36,391 --> 00:11:37,914
Taylor is gonna graduate!
356
00:11:38,001 --> 00:11:40,134
You would've loved
the ceremony, Mrs. A.
357
00:11:40,221 --> 00:11:41,875
Duffy McSprinkles
got cold hooves,
358
00:11:41,962 --> 00:11:44,268
but a last-minute pep talk
from Starburst Von Clydesdale
359
00:11:44,355 --> 00:11:45,617
sorted them out.
360
00:11:45,705 --> 00:11:48,403
It was...beautiful.
361
00:11:53,713 --> 00:11:56,193
♪♪
362
00:11:56,280 --> 00:11:57,804
You're quiet today.
363
00:11:57,891 --> 00:11:59,631
I don't want
to talk about it.
364
00:11:59,719 --> 00:12:01,633
Oh, you took that
the wrong way.
365
00:12:01,721 --> 00:12:03,244
I likeyou quiet.
366
00:12:03,331 --> 00:12:05,289
[ Footsteps ]
367
00:12:05,376 --> 00:12:07,291
Well, I'm ready for
this graduation/wedding thing.
368
00:12:07,378 --> 00:12:08,728
I think
I have everything set.
369
00:12:08,815 --> 00:12:10,120
The moment
that they are married,
370
00:12:10,207 --> 00:12:12,470
Ablin will allow Taylor
to graduate.
371
00:12:12,557 --> 00:12:13,776
So, is Lonnie
meeting us there?
372
00:12:13,863 --> 00:12:15,343
I've asked him
to film the ceremony.
373
00:12:15,430 --> 00:12:16,823
I don't know.
We're not speaking.
374
00:12:16,910 --> 00:12:18,607
Oh.
Well...
375
00:12:20,435 --> 00:12:22,829
Is Franklin meeting us there
with his bagpipes?
376
00:12:22,916 --> 00:12:23,786
No idea.
377
00:12:23,873 --> 00:12:25,657
Ever since I told him
378
00:12:25,745 --> 00:12:27,572
I'm still going to summer camp,
he's not talking to me.
379
00:12:27,659 --> 00:12:28,922
Oh.
380
00:12:30,619 --> 00:12:31,838
Okay.
381
00:12:31,925 --> 00:12:33,753
Let's go!
I'm ready to graduate.
382
00:12:33,840 --> 00:12:34,971
We'll see.
383
00:12:35,058 --> 00:12:36,494
What do you mean,
"We'll see"?
384
00:12:36,581 --> 00:12:38,105
You did take care
of my library fine, right?
385
00:12:40,629 --> 00:12:42,500
[ Voice breaking ] I can't
believe my baby's graduating.
386
00:12:42,587 --> 00:12:44,198
Stop! [ Groans ]
387
00:12:45,416 --> 00:12:46,548
Works every time.
388
00:12:46,635 --> 00:12:52,206
♪♪
389
00:12:52,293 --> 00:12:54,730
Hello, Westport Unified
class of 2020!
390
00:12:54,817 --> 00:12:56,340
[ Cheers and applause ]Wow, we did it.
391
00:12:56,427 --> 00:12:58,516
Come on,
let's hear some applause.
392
00:12:58,603 --> 00:12:59,996
Wow.
393
00:13:00,083 --> 00:13:01,519
Even some of you
I didn't even think
394
00:13:01,606 --> 00:13:03,434
had the grades to graduate
are here today.
395
00:13:03,521 --> 00:13:05,959
Nah, I'm just kidding.
But anyway...
396
00:13:06,046 --> 00:13:08,222
These last few years have been
some of the best of my life.
397
00:13:08,309 --> 00:13:10,050
[ Whispering ] Lonnie!
Thank God you made it.
398
00:13:10,137 --> 00:13:11,747
Where's your video camera?
399
00:13:11,834 --> 00:13:13,618
Yeah, don't worry. I got
my people all over this thing.
400
00:13:13,705 --> 00:13:15,838
It's nice of you
to show up, but I'm still
not talking to you.
401
00:13:17,144 --> 00:13:19,407
You want a poignant ending?
Here it is.
402
00:13:19,494 --> 00:13:21,061
My whole world is
about collecting likes
403
00:13:21,148 --> 00:13:22,714
from people I don't know.
404
00:13:22,802 --> 00:13:24,281
But the one person
that I actually want to like me
405
00:13:24,368 --> 00:13:25,543
doesn't right now.
406
00:13:27,154 --> 00:13:29,156
You know why
my book doesn't have an ending?
407
00:13:29,243 --> 00:13:30,635
[ Sighs ]
408
00:13:30,722 --> 00:13:33,421
It's because I don't...
want this to end.
409
00:13:34,509 --> 00:13:36,511
You and me.
410
00:13:36,598 --> 00:13:38,295
Eyo: Thanks for being you.
411
00:13:38,382 --> 00:13:39,993
Nah, I'm just kidding.
412
00:13:40,080 --> 00:13:42,256
Well...there'll probably be
a book tour, right?
413
00:13:42,343 --> 00:13:44,214
Book tour.
414
00:13:44,301 --> 00:13:45,433
Yes!
415
00:13:45,520 --> 00:13:47,000
Oh!
I didn't think of that.
416
00:13:47,087 --> 00:13:51,178
Ooh, Badonks, with a brain
as big as his ass!
417
00:13:51,265 --> 00:13:52,570
[ Slaps ]
We're back!
418
00:13:53,658 --> 00:13:55,008
We look forward to our future
419
00:13:55,095 --> 00:13:57,793
with perfect,
"class-of-2020" vision.
420
00:13:57,880 --> 00:13:59,099
Thank you.
421
00:13:59,186 --> 00:14:01,231
[ Cheers and applause ]
422
00:14:08,412 --> 00:14:10,719
[ Feedback ]
423
00:14:10,806 --> 00:14:13,853
The smart kids get to talk
at these things every year.
424
00:14:13,940 --> 00:14:15,811
What about
the not-so-smart kids?
425
00:14:15,898 --> 00:14:17,378
They have something
to say, too.
426
00:14:17,465 --> 00:14:20,163
So, with the lowest
grade point average,
427
00:14:20,250 --> 00:14:23,950
your "maledictorian,"
Trip Windsor.
428
00:14:24,037 --> 00:14:25,299
[ Applause ]
429
00:14:25,386 --> 00:14:26,953
What?!
430
00:14:29,694 --> 00:14:31,348
Dearly beloved,
431
00:14:31,435 --> 00:14:35,004
what is graduation
if not a celebration of love?
432
00:14:35,091 --> 00:14:36,701
How is it
a celebration of love?
433
00:14:36,788 --> 00:14:39,879
Shh! The maledictorian
is speaking!
434
00:14:39,966 --> 00:14:41,489
...and the teachers
who helped guide us
435
00:14:41,576 --> 00:14:45,797
through these past
four -- or five -- years,
436
00:14:45,885 --> 00:14:48,322
and most importantly, the love
437
00:14:48,409 --> 00:14:51,281
between an administrator
and his girlfriend.
438
00:14:51,368 --> 00:14:54,763
[ Bagpipes playing
"Bridal Chorus" ]
439
00:14:54,850 --> 00:14:57,287
Franklin made it!
It's all coming together!
440
00:14:57,374 --> 00:14:58,636
Greg, Oliver, go!
441
00:15:14,174 --> 00:15:20,920
♪♪
442
00:15:21,877 --> 00:15:23,487
Will you give me away?
443
00:15:23,574 --> 00:15:25,359
Sure.
444
00:15:25,446 --> 00:15:28,840
Wouldn't be the strangest thing
that's happened today.
445
00:15:28,928 --> 00:15:31,321
[ Laughs ]
446
00:15:31,408 --> 00:15:32,801
Ohh.
447
00:15:47,772 --> 00:15:54,344
♪♪
448
00:15:55,302 --> 00:15:57,391
I'm gonna talk to Ablin
about whatever this is
449
00:15:57,478 --> 00:15:59,175
and shut it down!
450
00:15:59,262 --> 00:16:00,916
[ Velcro rips ]
451
00:16:01,003 --> 00:16:03,136
[ Crowd gasps, murmurs ]
452
00:16:04,615 --> 00:16:06,966
[ Laughter ]
453
00:16:11,318 --> 00:16:16,497
Love, like math,
it doesn't always make sense.
454
00:16:16,584 --> 00:16:20,805
Like English, it doesn't
always make sense.
455
00:16:20,892 --> 00:16:24,331
Like science,
it doesn't make sense at all.
456
00:16:24,418 --> 00:16:27,595
But the difference is,
love doesn't have
to make sense.
457
00:16:27,682 --> 00:16:29,901
Because it's not something
that you learn.
458
00:16:29,989 --> 00:16:33,122
There's no stupid quiz
that you have to pass,
459
00:16:33,209 --> 00:16:35,951
'cause love is
making up words in Scrabble.
460
00:16:36,038 --> 00:16:39,433
And yelling
"Swiper, no swiping" together.
461
00:16:39,520 --> 00:16:41,957
It's something that you feel.
462
00:16:42,044 --> 00:16:45,439
And I feel it, now and forever.
463
00:16:45,526 --> 00:16:46,788
[ Chuckles ]
464
00:16:46,875 --> 00:16:48,442
♪♪
465
00:16:48,529 --> 00:16:50,313
Maria.
466
00:16:50,400 --> 00:16:54,317
Do you take Principal Ablin
to be your husband?
467
00:16:54,404 --> 00:16:56,058
I do.
468
00:16:56,145 --> 00:16:59,540
Principal Ablin, do you take
Maria to be your wife?
469
00:16:59,627 --> 00:17:01,107
I do.
470
00:17:01,194 --> 00:17:03,935
I now pronounce you
principal and wife.
471
00:17:04,023 --> 00:17:05,154
You may kiss the bride.
472
00:17:06,329 --> 00:17:07,287
Wait, wait, wait!
473
00:17:07,374 --> 00:17:08,679
Does my daughter graduate?
474
00:17:08,766 --> 00:17:09,680
Absolutely.
475
00:17:09,767 --> 00:17:12,683
♪♪
476
00:17:12,770 --> 00:17:14,598
[ Cheers and applause ]
477
00:17:14,685 --> 00:17:21,562
♪♪
478
00:17:21,649 --> 00:17:22,780
[ Cheers and applause ]
479
00:17:22,867 --> 00:17:25,653
♪♪
480
00:17:25,740 --> 00:17:27,785
Everyone, afterward,
please join us
481
00:17:27,872 --> 00:17:30,136
for our wedding reception
in the main gymnasium.
482
00:17:30,223 --> 00:17:34,009
You mean the PTA's
annual graduation buffet?!
483
00:17:34,096 --> 00:17:36,490
Either way,
we're playing "Brick House."
484
00:17:36,577 --> 00:17:38,709
[ Cheers and applause ]
485
00:17:38,796 --> 00:17:45,847
♪♪
486
00:17:47,327 --> 00:17:50,504
[ Camera shutter clicking ]
487
00:17:50,591 --> 00:17:52,941
Alright, now let me get one
with just the siblings.
488
00:17:56,031 --> 00:17:57,424
Can you believe
our baby graduated?
489
00:17:57,511 --> 00:17:59,774
Just two more
to get rid of.
490
00:17:59,861 --> 00:18:01,167
Your sentimentality
is touching.
491
00:18:01,254 --> 00:18:02,255
Mm-hmm.
492
00:18:04,431 --> 00:18:06,563
[ Cheers and applause
in distance ]
493
00:18:10,437 --> 00:18:11,655
Aww.
494
00:18:11,742 --> 00:18:13,179
Look at you.
495
00:18:13,266 --> 00:18:15,006
You're upset
your sister's graduating.
496
00:18:15,094 --> 00:18:17,313
No. It's Cooper.
497
00:18:17,400 --> 00:18:19,185
He's moving with his family
to Florida.
498
00:18:19,272 --> 00:18:20,360
Oh.
499
00:18:21,883 --> 00:18:24,015
I'm sorry, honey.
I didn't know.
500
00:18:24,103 --> 00:18:26,148
He's my best friend.
501
00:18:26,235 --> 00:18:27,541
You know how hard it is
502
00:18:27,628 --> 00:18:29,456
to find a best friend
who really gets you?
503
00:18:29,543 --> 00:18:33,721
I know this is hard for you,
but maybe he's excited.
504
00:18:33,808 --> 00:18:35,505
He doesn't wantto go.
505
00:18:35,592 --> 00:18:38,421
He never even sees
his parents.
506
00:18:38,508 --> 00:18:40,989
I don't get why they're
forcing him to do this.
507
00:18:42,512 --> 00:18:44,471
I'm gonna miss him
so much.
508
00:18:45,950 --> 00:18:47,691
What am I gonna do, Mom?
509
00:18:49,302 --> 00:18:55,743
♪♪
510
00:18:55,830 --> 00:18:58,093
[ Sour notes play ]
511
00:19:00,139 --> 00:19:02,141
I know you're mad at me,
512
00:19:02,228 --> 00:19:04,404
but it was nice of you
to show up today.
513
00:19:04,491 --> 00:19:06,449
Bagpipers always
see a job through.
514
00:19:06,536 --> 00:19:09,235
Unlike harp players, who bolt
at the first sign of conflict.
515
00:19:09,322 --> 00:19:11,889
I think it's nice
you're so worried about me,
516
00:19:11,976 --> 00:19:15,458
but it's mydecision to go
to summer camp, Franklin.
517
00:19:15,545 --> 00:19:16,720
Nothing's gonna happen.
518
00:19:16,807 --> 00:19:18,548
Oh, yes, it will!
519
00:19:18,635 --> 00:19:20,594
You don't know what happens
at summer camp! Ido!
520
00:19:20,681 --> 00:19:22,465
It's where girls get
their first kiss!
521
00:19:22,552 --> 00:19:23,858
Is that what
you're worried about?
522
00:19:23,945 --> 00:19:26,339
Me kissing another boy?
523
00:19:26,426 --> 00:19:28,341
You're a real dummy,
Franklin.
524
00:19:29,690 --> 00:19:35,478
♪♪
525
00:19:35,565 --> 00:19:37,393
There. Problem solved.
526
00:19:37,480 --> 00:19:40,440
I don't have any guy friends,
so I have to brag to you.
527
00:19:40,527 --> 00:19:42,442
I just got kissed
by a really cute girl.
528
00:19:42,529 --> 00:19:45,749
♪♪
529
00:19:45,836 --> 00:19:48,404
My last home-cooked dinner
with the Ottos,
530
00:19:48,491 --> 00:19:50,189
where we use paper towels
as napkins
531
00:19:50,276 --> 00:19:51,929
and my food isn't
plated properly.
532
00:19:53,366 --> 00:19:54,802
I'm gonna miss this.
533
00:19:54,889 --> 00:19:57,631
Cooper, there's something
I've got to tell you.
534
00:19:57,718 --> 00:19:59,676
No, let me go first.
535
00:19:59,763 --> 00:20:01,809
I didn't know what it meant
to be a part of a family
536
00:20:01,896 --> 00:20:03,463
until I met you guys.
537
00:20:03,550 --> 00:20:06,335
You're warm and messy
and loud,
538
00:20:06,422 --> 00:20:07,989
and you drink tap water,
539
00:20:08,076 --> 00:20:09,425
which is just like
drinking out of the toilet.
540
00:20:09,512 --> 00:20:10,687
Eww.
541
00:20:10,774 --> 00:20:12,515
Move on
to your next point.
542
00:20:12,602 --> 00:20:16,476
You let me into your home
and made me a part of all that,
543
00:20:16,563 --> 00:20:18,347
and I'll always be grateful.
544
00:20:19,870 --> 00:20:21,045
I love you guys.
545
00:20:23,222 --> 00:20:24,353
Dude.
546
00:20:24,440 --> 00:20:25,528
[ Inhales deeply ]
547
00:20:26,573 --> 00:20:27,835
Dude.
548
00:20:28,836 --> 00:20:30,229
Dude. [ Sighs ]
549
00:20:30,316 --> 00:20:32,535
Enough.
550
00:20:32,622 --> 00:20:36,104
Greg and I had a conversation
with your parents.
551
00:20:36,191 --> 00:20:37,975
If it's okay with you,
they said
552
00:20:38,062 --> 00:20:40,804
that you can live with us
until you graduate high school.
553
00:20:40,891 --> 00:20:42,371
What?!
554
00:20:42,458 --> 00:20:43,851
They'll send the jet for you
every other weekend.
555
00:20:43,938 --> 00:20:44,678
Really?
556
00:20:44,765 --> 00:20:45,592
Mm-hmm.
557
00:20:47,724 --> 00:20:48,769
Dude!
558
00:20:49,813 --> 00:20:51,554
Dude.
559
00:20:58,909 --> 00:20:59,649
♪♪
560
00:20:59,736 --> 00:21:01,042
Okay.
561
00:21:01,129 --> 00:21:03,044
What if I break into
a delivery room,
562
00:21:03,131 --> 00:21:05,089
I deliver someone's baby,
563
00:21:05,176 --> 00:21:09,398
but at the last minute, I make
a switch and I hand them...
564
00:21:09,485 --> 00:21:10,791
a live possum?
565
00:21:10,878 --> 00:21:12,880
That's the dumbest thing
I've ever heard.
566
00:21:12,967 --> 00:21:14,229
But you know what?
567
00:21:14,316 --> 00:21:15,491
Let's do it!
568
00:21:15,578 --> 00:21:17,319
Let's just
finish the book!
569
00:21:17,406 --> 00:21:20,366
Sorry, but anyone
over 30 likes an idea,
it can't be good.
570
00:21:20,453 --> 00:21:21,845
That's just science, bruh.
571
00:21:21,932 --> 00:21:23,630
[ Sighs ]
572
00:21:26,894 --> 00:21:28,722
♪♪
40388
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