subtitlecat.com

All language subtitles for Will and Grace - 01x01 - The Pilot.DVDRip.English.orig.Addic7ed.com

Afrikaans

Albanian

Amharic

Arabic

Armenian

Azerbaijani

Basque

Belarusian

Bengali

Bosnian

Bulgarian

Catalan

Cebuano

Chichewa

Chinese (Simplified)

Chinese (Traditional)

Corsican

Croatian

Czech

Danish

Dutch

English

Esperanto

Estonian

Filipino

Finnish

French

Frisian

Galician

Georgian

German

Greek

Gujarati

Haitian Creole

Hausa

Hawaiian

Hebrew

Hindi

Hmong

Hungarian

Icelandic

Igbo

Indonesian

Irish

Italian

Japanese

Javanese

Kannada

Kazakh

Khmer

Korean

Kurdish (Kurmanji)

Kyrgyz

Lao

Latin

Latvian

Lithuanian

Luxembourgish

Macedonian

Malagasy

Malay

Malayalam

Maltese

Maori

Marathi

Mongolian

Myanmar (Burmese)

Nepali

Norwegian

Pashto

Persian

Polish

Portuguese

Punjabi

Romanian

Russian

Samoan

Scots Gaelic

Serbian

Sesotho

Shona

Sindhi

Sinhala

Slovak

Slovenian

Somali

Spanish

Sundanese

Swahili

Swedish

Tajik

Tamil

Telugu

Thai

Turkish

Ukrainian

Urdu

Uzbek

Vietnamese

Welsh

Xhosa

Yiddish

Yoruba

Zulu

Odia (Oriya)

Kinyarwanda

Turkmen

Tatar

Uyghur

Would you like to inspect the original subtitles? These are the user uploaded subtitles that are being translated: 1 00:00:00,521 --> 00:00:02,085 www.tvsubtitles.net Resync by XhmikosR 2 00:00:04,692 --> 00:00:07,403 - What are you doing? - Hanging out. 3 00:00:07,090 --> 00:00:09,176 - Come over. - Will, I can't. 4 00:00:09,176 --> 00:00:12,513 Come on, Grace. You know you want to. 5 00:00:12,304 --> 00:00:15,432 - Of course I want to, but... - It's gonna be a good one. 6 00:00:15,328 --> 00:00:19,499 - I can feel it. - It's always good. Still... 7 00:00:19,811 --> 00:00:22,523 If you're not gonna come over, do you want me to... 8 00:00:22,418 --> 00:00:26,485 talk you through it? 9 00:00:26,693 --> 00:00:30,864 It's tempting, but I think I'll watch "ER" here. 10 00:00:31,490 --> 00:00:34,097 Another night alone with my clicker. 11 00:00:33,992 --> 00:00:36,495 Is that what the kids are calling it? 12 00:00:36,391 --> 00:00:38,476 So I went back to the sale today. 13 00:00:38,372 --> 00:00:41,083 - Did you get that black flowy thing? - No, you were right. 14 00:00:40,978 --> 00:00:44,628 It's too Stevie Nicks, the heavy years. 15 00:00:44,419 --> 00:00:46,609 Eriq La Salle just smiled. 16 00:00:46,609 --> 00:00:50,571 - Really? - No. 17 00:00:50,363 --> 00:00:54,534 - Did you buy anything? - Yeah, I got a great camisole. 18 00:00:54,429 --> 00:00:58,287 - Sexy? - I'm going to sleep. 19 00:00:58,183 --> 00:01:00,998 Ask me in the morning. 20 00:01:00,894 --> 00:01:04,439 - Was that Danny? - Yeah, jealous? 21 00:01:04,231 --> 00:01:06,838 Honey, I don't need your man. 22 00:01:06,733 --> 00:01:09,444 I got George Clooney. 23 00:01:09,340 --> 00:01:12,573 Sorry, babe, he doesn't bat for your team. 24 00:01:12,468 --> 00:01:16,639 Well, he hasn't seen me pitch. 25 00:01:17,265 --> 00:01:19,976 Okay. Say, "Good night, Gracie." 26 00:01:19,872 --> 00:01:24,042 Good night, Gracie. 27 00:01:36,763 --> 00:01:38,536 It's to you, Jack. 28 00:01:38,536 --> 00:01:42,707 Give me a minute, please? Okay? 29 00:01:46,461 --> 00:01:48,963 A room without windows 30 00:01:48,859 --> 00:01:51,257 A room without doors... 31 00:01:51,153 --> 00:01:52,404 It's to you, Jack. 32 00:01:52,404 --> 00:01:55,532 Give me a minute, please? 33 00:01:55,428 --> 00:01:57,930 Wow! 34 00:01:57,826 --> 00:02:01,997 A room where no guy but I can spy that... 35 00:02:02,518 --> 00:02:05,646 No-ooo, not gonna risk it this time. 36 00:02:05,542 --> 00:02:09,609 Four cards, please. 37 00:02:09,713 --> 00:02:12,841 Here's my ace. 38 00:02:12,737 --> 00:02:14,927 Jack, now that you're moving in, can I make one small request? 39 00:02:14,822 --> 00:02:15,865 What's that? 40 00:02:15,761 --> 00:02:18,368 Change everything about your personality. 41 00:02:18,263 --> 00:02:21,600 I get it, comedy. 42 00:02:26,605 --> 00:02:29,316 Oh, I know that one... I know... 43 00:02:29,212 --> 00:02:32,965 Did he need a stronger hand? 44 00:02:32,861 --> 00:02:35,885 - Did he need a... - Jack! 45 00:02:35,677 --> 00:02:37,553 He's not humming your intro. 46 00:02:37,553 --> 00:02:39,639 That's just a straight guy's way of thinking 47 00:02:39,535 --> 00:02:41,516 that you and I could ever be a couple. 48 00:02:41,411 --> 00:02:43,601 Okay, first of all: Will should only be so lucky. 49 00:02:43,497 --> 00:02:47,668 So let's just clear that right up. 50 00:02:47,876 --> 00:02:49,962 Second of all: you don't even know me that well. 51 00:02:49,857 --> 00:02:54,028 Why would you just assume that I was gay? 52 00:02:57,261 --> 00:02:59,450 I finished. Okay, FYl, folks, 53 00:02:59,346 --> 00:03:01,849 most people that meet me do not know that I am gay. 54 00:03:01,744 --> 00:03:05,915 Jack, blind and deaf people know you're gay. 55 00:03:08,418 --> 00:03:12,380 Dead people know you're gay. 56 00:03:12,276 --> 00:03:14,882 - Do we play poker? - Yes. Come on, who's in? 57 00:03:14,674 --> 00:03:17,802 I'm in for 10. 58 00:03:17,593 --> 00:03:19,679 I'm fine. Keep playing. 59 00:03:19,679 --> 00:03:23,850 Oh look, it's Sporty Spice. 60 00:03:24,997 --> 00:03:26,665 Did you and Danny have a fight? 61 00:03:26,665 --> 00:03:28,750 Yeah, but I don't wanna talk about it right now. 62 00:03:28,646 --> 00:03:32,817 - I can't even think straight. - That's funny, neither can Jack. 63 00:03:34,902 --> 00:03:37,196 Grace, did you know I was gay when you met me? 64 00:03:37,196 --> 00:03:41,159 My dog knew. 65 00:03:40,950 --> 00:03:44,287 So the fabrics never came in, and I wasn't able to make the presentation. 66 00:03:44,183 --> 00:03:46,372 Diamond lnteriors got the job. 67 00:03:46,268 --> 00:03:48,770 - I'm sorry. What a disappointment. - Thank you. 68 00:03:48,666 --> 00:03:51,377 That's all I wanted to hear, but Danny said, 69 00:03:51,273 --> 00:03:52,941 "When you put everything off till the last minute..." 70 00:03:52,837 --> 00:03:54,610 - Eew. - Yeah. 71 00:03:54,610 --> 00:03:57,008 And I lost it. 72 00:03:56,904 --> 00:04:00,240 I started screaming, "Why can't you just let me have my feelings?" 73 00:04:00,032 --> 00:04:04,203 Grace, that is so Barbara DeAngelis, "Making Love Work." 74 00:04:05,454 --> 00:04:08,582 - I know, wasn't it? - Yeah. 75 00:04:08,478 --> 00:04:10,459 And then he says... get this, 76 00:04:10,355 --> 00:04:14,525 "You don't have to get hysterical. You sound just like your mother." 77 00:04:15,360 --> 00:04:19,530 If you were on "Jerry Springer," that's the minute you'd jump out of your chair. 78 00:04:20,052 --> 00:04:22,033 Can you believe that? 79 00:04:21,929 --> 00:04:24,744 You're staying here tonight. Go wash your face, I'll make up your bed. 80 00:04:24,640 --> 00:04:28,810 "You sound just like your mother." What kind of person says that? 81 00:04:29,019 --> 00:04:31,209 The kind of person you should've dumped a year ago. 82 00:04:31,104 --> 00:04:33,503 - What? - I said, 83 00:04:33,398 --> 00:04:37,569 I hear they're re-releasing "Vertigo." 84 00:04:37,569 --> 00:04:39,655 "You sound just like your mother." 85 00:04:39,550 --> 00:04:42,053 When you wanna push someone's buttons, that'll do it. 86 00:04:41,949 --> 00:04:46,119 Hey, roomie! 87 00:04:46,641 --> 00:04:49,039 Jack, you can't move in tonight. 88 00:04:48,830 --> 00:04:51,124 What? 89 00:04:51,020 --> 00:04:53,314 Grace is very upset. I told her she could stay here tonight. 90 00:04:53,210 --> 00:04:56,129 - You move in tomorrow, okay? - Okay, that's interesting. 91 00:04:56,025 --> 00:04:58,215 You'd think maybe you could have told me this... oh I don't know... 92 00:04:58,111 --> 00:05:02,281 before I packed up my entire life! 93 00:05:03,324 --> 00:05:05,827 You don't understand, Grace has had a really... 94 00:05:05,722 --> 00:05:08,851 what's in the hat box? Your tiara? 95 00:05:08,746 --> 00:05:12,917 Look, Guapo, he made a funny. Shut up, Will! 96 00:05:13,543 --> 00:05:15,941 I just schlepped all the way over here from the East Side, 97 00:05:15,837 --> 00:05:18,339 and you know how much Guapo hates riding in taxis. 98 00:05:18,235 --> 00:05:20,946 Okay. 99 00:05:20,842 --> 00:05:23,240 Okay, take it easy, Jack. 100 00:05:23,136 --> 00:05:27,306 You sound just like your mother. 101 00:05:28,871 --> 00:05:31,060 Crossing the line. 102 00:05:31,060 --> 00:05:33,980 You nasty, bitter, lonely, balding man. 103 00:05:33,771 --> 00:05:35,857 I don't need this crap from you, Will. 104 00:05:35,857 --> 00:05:38,046 You know what? I just don't need it. 105 00:05:37,942 --> 00:05:40,028 - What time tomorrow? - Eightish. 106 00:05:39,923 --> 00:05:44,094 Fine. 107 00:05:44,198 --> 00:05:46,492 You're my lawyer. You tell me. 108 00:05:46,388 --> 00:05:48,682 What have I got to do to buy this company? 109 00:05:48,578 --> 00:05:50,663 First, we've gotta get something called, 110 00:05:50,663 --> 00:05:52,540 the "Hart-Scott-Rodino Antitrust" clearance, 111 00:05:52,436 --> 00:05:54,625 and then we can negotiate standstills and lock ups, 112 00:05:54,521 --> 00:05:57,232 Naturally, that's after we do due diligence. 113 00:05:57,128 --> 00:06:00,152 What the hell is "do-do diligence?" 114 00:06:00,048 --> 00:06:04,010 No, Harlan, after we do... due diligence. 115 00:06:03,801 --> 00:06:07,138 Doesn't matter how slow you say it, 116 00:06:07,034 --> 00:06:10,683 it's still "do-do", isn't it? 117 00:06:10,579 --> 00:06:13,916 - I just wanna know what it means. - It's crap that lawyers deal with. 118 00:06:13,707 --> 00:06:15,584 Harlan, I'll handle it. 119 00:06:15,584 --> 00:06:18,086 I've been representing your corporation for five years now, remember? 120 00:06:17,982 --> 00:06:21,006 I know, but my wife's been bugging me about the business. 121 00:06:20,693 --> 00:06:23,404 She wants me to be a little more hands-on. 122 00:06:23,300 --> 00:06:27,471 You sure she's talking about the business? 123 00:06:27,367 --> 00:06:31,433 Yeah, she's talking about the business. 124 00:06:31,746 --> 00:06:34,770 But I trust you, Will, so you do that "do-do" 125 00:06:34,665 --> 00:06:38,419 that you do so well. 126 00:06:38,211 --> 00:06:41,860 Will, it's Grace on line one. 127 00:06:41,756 --> 00:06:43,216 Hey. 128 00:06:43,111 --> 00:06:45,197 Can I stay at your apartment again tonight? 129 00:06:45,197 --> 00:06:47,387 Of course, as long as you want. 130 00:06:47,282 --> 00:06:49,472 - What are you doing? - I'm looking for tissues. 131 00:06:49,368 --> 00:06:51,453 Have your assistant get them for you. 132 00:06:51,349 --> 00:06:54,268 - She's late again. - Fire her already. 133 00:06:54,164 --> 00:06:56,250 I'm not gonna fire Karen. 134 00:06:56,145 --> 00:06:58,335 Her social contacts keep my business afloat. 135 00:06:58,231 --> 00:06:59,899 Why does she even work? 136 00:06:59,899 --> 00:07:01,984 Isn't she worth like a gazillion dollars? 137 00:07:01,880 --> 00:07:04,904 She feels working keeps her down to earth. 138 00:07:04,800 --> 00:07:06,989 I know, I'm late. 139 00:07:06,885 --> 00:07:10,848 My driver had another bronchial incident. 140 00:07:10,639 --> 00:07:14,080 It was disgusting. I had to raise the partition. 141 00:07:13,976 --> 00:07:16,478 But that's no excuse, I should be punished. 142 00:07:16,374 --> 00:07:18,668 I'm writing you a check. 143 00:07:18,564 --> 00:07:21,587 Karen, tell Grace she should fire you. 144 00:07:21,483 --> 00:07:24,090 Grace, tell Will to redirect his anger at his mother, 145 00:07:23,986 --> 00:07:27,322 where it belongs. 146 00:07:27,218 --> 00:07:29,303 - Call me later. - Bye. 147 00:07:29,199 --> 00:07:31,285 All right, honey. There you go. 148 00:07:31,180 --> 00:07:34,517 Guilt be gone. 149 00:07:34,413 --> 00:07:37,645 Karen, I don't want a check. I want assistance. 150 00:07:37,437 --> 00:07:39,731 I'm the boss, I give you checks. 151 00:07:39,731 --> 00:07:42,442 Yes you do, honey, and I love them, I do. 152 00:07:42,233 --> 00:07:46,404 I keep them all right here in this box. 153 00:07:50,158 --> 00:07:51,722 So, what else? 154 00:07:51,722 --> 00:07:55,371 - Danny and I got into a fight. - Oh, honey, call him and make up. 155 00:07:55,058 --> 00:07:57,040 Why would I do that? It wasn't my fault. 156 00:07:57,040 --> 00:07:59,125 In the long run, it doesn't matter. 157 00:07:59,021 --> 00:08:02,774 I don't know that there's gonna be a long run. 158 00:08:02,566 --> 00:08:04,964 Grace, you're... 159 00:08:04,860 --> 00:08:09,031 you're what? 40? 160 00:08:10,490 --> 00:08:12,576 I'll be 31 next month. 161 00:08:12,472 --> 00:08:16,642 So I rounded up. 162 00:08:17,477 --> 00:08:19,562 Danny is a good catch. 163 00:08:19,458 --> 00:08:22,273 You've been living together for a year. Close the deal already. 164 00:08:23,941 --> 00:08:26,965 I'm serious Grace, pick up the pace. 165 00:08:26,757 --> 00:08:30,928 I'm serious, Karen, pick up the phone. 166 00:08:32,909 --> 00:08:36,037 So, Will, have you seen Michael since you two broke up? 167 00:08:35,933 --> 00:08:38,435 No, he hasn't, but I have. 168 00:08:38,331 --> 00:08:41,772 Michael's not doing well. He got fat, he's depressed. 169 00:08:41,563 --> 00:08:43,753 Cheap haircuts, not good. 170 00:08:43,753 --> 00:08:46,047 Actually, it's very sad. 171 00:08:45,943 --> 00:08:48,758 What are you talking about? I just saw him. Looks great. 172 00:08:48,654 --> 00:08:52,824 Rob, you're dismissed. 173 00:08:54,389 --> 00:08:56,995 - Thanks for trying, sweetie. - His haircut really was awful. 174 00:08:56,891 --> 00:09:00,958 I know. I think it's time for "$25,000 Pyramid." 175 00:09:00,853 --> 00:09:02,522 - Hello! - All right! 176 00:09:02,417 --> 00:09:04,190 So, Will, are you gonna keep the place? 177 00:09:04,086 --> 00:09:06,171 I thought it was gonna be a little too expensive, 178 00:09:06,171 --> 00:09:09,404 so I told Jack... oh no. 179 00:09:09,195 --> 00:09:13,053 Hi, honey, I'm home. 180 00:09:12,949 --> 00:09:16,285 - Are we entertaining? Welcome. - Jack, I meant to call you today... 181 00:09:16,181 --> 00:09:18,579 - Don't even! - Wait, wait. 182 00:09:18,475 --> 00:09:20,665 I can stay at Rob and Ellen's tonight. 183 00:09:20,561 --> 00:09:22,646 No, you can't, Grace, because apparently, you matter. 184 00:09:22,542 --> 00:09:24,836 How about that? 185 00:09:24,731 --> 00:09:28,798 Jack, I am so sorry. I just... 186 00:09:28,694 --> 00:09:32,865 Are bandanas back in? 'Cause I didn't get that memo. 187 00:09:33,282 --> 00:09:37,452 Ha, ha-ha, ha, ha, ha, ha. 188 00:09:37,557 --> 00:09:39,746 Let me tell you something, Will Truman, 189 00:09:39,642 --> 00:09:42,457 I don't need to live here, all right? And you know what? Guess who loses? 190 00:09:42,353 --> 00:09:44,126 Hello! You do. 191 00:09:44,022 --> 00:09:47,045 Because I could have turned you into a human being 192 00:09:46,941 --> 00:09:50,278 instead of this rude, self-absorbed, getting-chunkier-every-day... 193 00:09:50,174 --> 00:09:54,240 oops, did that slip out? ...thing that you are. 194 00:09:54,032 --> 00:09:56,325 - What time tomorrow? - Eightish. 195 00:09:56,221 --> 00:10:00,392 Fine. 196 00:10:01,018 --> 00:10:02,790 Let's play "The Pyramid." 197 00:10:02,790 --> 00:10:05,918 - Okay, you two first. - Okay, you give, I'll receive. 198 00:10:05,710 --> 00:10:08,734 Just as God intended it. 199 00:10:08,629 --> 00:10:10,194 - Ellen's timing. - Got it. 200 00:10:10,194 --> 00:10:12,905 Here's your first subject. Go! 201 00:10:12,800 --> 00:10:14,781 Okay, okay. 202 00:10:14,677 --> 00:10:17,910 Driftwood. John Wayne. 203 00:10:17,805 --> 00:10:19,891 - You're parents' marriage. - Things that are dead. 204 00:10:19,786 --> 00:10:21,663 Yes. 205 00:10:21,559 --> 00:10:23,644 My one-night stand on Fire lsland. 206 00:10:23,540 --> 00:10:26,564 - Latin things. - Good. 207 00:10:26,460 --> 00:10:28,858 The postcard I sent you from ltaly. 208 00:10:28,754 --> 00:10:30,839 "Everybody Hurts" by REM. 209 00:10:30,735 --> 00:10:33,550 - Things that make you cry. - Yes. 210 00:10:33,446 --> 00:10:35,531 - Professor Gopnik's teeth. - Things that are yellow. 211 00:10:35,427 --> 00:10:37,304 Yes. 212 00:10:37,304 --> 00:10:41,266 - A cane. A railing. - Come on, give me another clue. 213 00:10:41,058 --> 00:10:43,247 Each other. 214 00:10:43,143 --> 00:10:45,750 - Things that you lean on. - That's it. 215 00:10:45,646 --> 00:10:47,210 Yeah! 216 00:10:47,210 --> 00:10:50,234 You guys... 217 00:10:50,129 --> 00:10:51,902 that was amazing. 218 00:10:51,798 --> 00:10:53,883 Grace, you and Danny never do this well when we play. 219 00:10:53,779 --> 00:10:57,950 I know. I'm gonna break up with him. 220 00:10:59,618 --> 00:11:01,182 It's just time. 221 00:11:01,078 --> 00:11:04,310 My relationship has reached a fork in the road, 222 00:11:04,102 --> 00:11:07,438 and ending it with Danny is the right... 223 00:11:07,334 --> 00:11:11,505 prong. 224 00:11:12,965 --> 00:11:17,135 Excuse me. 225 00:11:19,429 --> 00:11:23,600 Things that bring a dinner party to a crashing halt? 226 00:11:26,207 --> 00:11:29,231 - So, how'd it go? - Not like I thought. 227 00:11:29,127 --> 00:11:31,838 Gracie, I'm sorry. You give it some time... 228 00:11:31,733 --> 00:11:33,819 No, Will, 229 00:11:33,715 --> 00:11:37,885 he proposed. 230 00:11:44,559 --> 00:11:48,104 - Grace Adler Design? - Oh, my God, would you look at that? 231 00:11:47,895 --> 00:11:50,085 Who in the world would be sending... 232 00:11:49,981 --> 00:11:54,152 Oh, carnations, they must be for you. 233 00:11:56,133 --> 00:12:00,304 Yep, they're from Danny. Isn't he a sweetheart? 234 00:12:00,304 --> 00:12:02,806 Oh my. Well. 235 00:12:02,702 --> 00:12:06,768 Surprised you're still walking. 236 00:12:09,688 --> 00:12:13,859 Give me that. 237 00:12:15,319 --> 00:12:17,404 He is so great. 238 00:12:17,300 --> 00:12:21,471 I can't believe I ever doubted he was the one. 239 00:12:21,888 --> 00:12:24,182 Bon app�tit. 240 00:12:24,182 --> 00:12:26,580 What am I gonna do about Grace? 241 00:12:26,476 --> 00:12:29,395 What's the big deal? Why don't you... 242 00:12:29,187 --> 00:12:33,358 could I get a skotch more gravy? It's a little dry. 243 00:12:36,173 --> 00:12:39,092 If you don't like Danny, just tell her it's a bad idea. 244 00:12:38,884 --> 00:12:40,552 I don't tell people who to marry. 245 00:12:40,448 --> 00:12:43,472 Okay, you always tell me what you think of the men I date. 246 00:12:43,368 --> 00:12:45,766 I'm talking about marriage, not Rudy the Jewish cowboy 247 00:12:45,661 --> 00:12:49,832 you met on the internet. 248 00:12:49,624 --> 00:12:53,795 Shalom, my lonesome prairie dog. 249 00:12:59,217 --> 00:13:01,928 She's your best friend, Will. You have to tell her what you think. 250 00:13:01,823 --> 00:13:05,682 - Be honest. - I can't. 251 00:13:05,577 --> 00:13:07,454 Before my brother married Ginny, 252 00:13:07,350 --> 00:13:09,435 he asked me what I honestly thought of her. 253 00:13:09,331 --> 00:13:12,980 I told him, she's morose, and controlling, and icy. 254 00:13:12,876 --> 00:13:15,066 They got married anyway. Now she hates me 255 00:13:14,962 --> 00:13:17,360 and my brother and I don't talk. 256 00:13:17,256 --> 00:13:19,654 I couldn't handle losing Grace like that. 257 00:13:19,550 --> 00:13:23,720 I'm gonna call Rudy again. 258 00:13:24,555 --> 00:13:26,640 Oh, God, I'm sorry, but more importantly, 259 00:13:26,536 --> 00:13:28,621 that's terrible about you and your brother. It's awful. 260 00:13:28,517 --> 00:13:32,688 No, no, no. Do you have any mineral water? Sulfites. 261 00:13:36,024 --> 00:13:38,214 When are you moving in? 262 00:13:38,110 --> 00:13:41,446 I'm gonna be away on business for a while and... 263 00:13:41,238 --> 00:13:42,698 What business? 264 00:13:42,698 --> 00:13:46,243 Business. I have business, and clients and work-related... 265 00:13:46,034 --> 00:13:48,016 business. 266 00:13:48,016 --> 00:13:50,727 How is the work-related client business these days? 267 00:13:50,622 --> 00:13:54,793 What is this? Why do you have to be so mean? 268 00:13:55,836 --> 00:13:58,651 Because you love it. And I love you, 269 00:13:58,443 --> 00:14:01,571 and you love gel. 270 00:14:01,466 --> 00:14:04,282 And you have a home here when you get back. 271 00:14:04,178 --> 00:14:06,367 You can be a very great guy when you wanna be. 272 00:14:06,263 --> 00:14:08,557 Well, I gotta be nicer to you. 273 00:14:08,453 --> 00:14:10,851 - Yes, you do. - Because you are a good friend. 274 00:14:10,642 --> 00:14:13,875 - Yes, I am. - I know it's gotta be rough on you. 275 00:14:13,770 --> 00:14:17,837 - Will, don't. - Being trapped in a man's body like that. 276 00:14:24,093 --> 00:14:28,264 - Hi. - Hey. 277 00:14:28,056 --> 00:14:30,975 - What are you watching? - "Pop-Up Video" 278 00:14:30,871 --> 00:14:35,042 Turns out, Fiona Apple doesn't particularly like apples. 279 00:14:35,355 --> 00:14:38,378 Apple Brown Betty was invented by a guy named Darren, 280 00:14:38,170 --> 00:14:42,132 and get this, Bobby Darren's dog was named Fiona. 281 00:14:42,028 --> 00:14:46,199 What are the odds of that? 282 00:14:46,094 --> 00:14:49,327 - I said, "Yes." - What? 283 00:14:49,223 --> 00:14:51,725 I said, "Yes." 284 00:14:51,621 --> 00:14:55,792 Oh my God. 285 00:14:55,583 --> 00:14:58,190 Oh my God! 286 00:14:58,086 --> 00:15:02,048 Come here! 287 00:15:01,944 --> 00:15:05,385 Wow. Let's have a look at that ring. 288 00:15:05,176 --> 00:15:09,347 It's beautiful. When is the stone being put in? 289 00:15:10,077 --> 00:15:12,371 I knew you were gonna say that. 290 00:15:12,371 --> 00:15:13,518 Wow... 291 00:15:13,413 --> 00:15:17,271 You know, I'm thirsty. 292 00:15:17,167 --> 00:15:18,523 What? 293 00:15:18,418 --> 00:15:21,338 What? What? I'm happy for you. 294 00:15:21,234 --> 00:15:23,528 Lying. Lying man talking. 295 00:15:23,423 --> 00:15:26,343 Grace, stop it. I am happy for you. 296 00:15:26,239 --> 00:15:29,054 I want you two to have a great life together. 297 00:15:28,950 --> 00:15:32,912 You do? 298 00:15:32,704 --> 00:15:36,562 Thank God. I was so worried coming over here. 299 00:15:36,457 --> 00:15:39,898 So I have your blessing then? 300 00:15:39,690 --> 00:15:43,548 Yes. 301 00:15:43,443 --> 00:15:45,842 - I love you. - Love you. 302 00:15:45,633 --> 00:15:47,093 Okay! 303 00:15:46,989 --> 00:15:50,013 - I've gotta go tell my family. - Grace, don't. 304 00:15:49,908 --> 00:15:52,724 I have to, Will, they're paying. 305 00:15:52,619 --> 00:15:56,060 No, I mean, don't marry Danny. 306 00:15:55,956 --> 00:15:58,146 What? 307 00:15:58,041 --> 00:16:02,212 Honey, I gotta be honest. This guy's not enough for you. 308 00:16:03,046 --> 00:16:05,340 You're passionate, and you're creative, 309 00:16:05,236 --> 00:16:07,947 and beautiful, and perfect, and this guy... 310 00:16:07,843 --> 00:16:11,284 you should be with someone more... somebody else. 311 00:16:11,180 --> 00:16:14,412 He's not funny. He doesn't know what your favorite flower is. 312 00:16:14,308 --> 00:16:18,478 He's passive-aggressive. The man high-five's you after sex. 313 00:16:19,834 --> 00:16:22,337 You're so afraid you're never gonna get married 314 00:16:22,232 --> 00:16:25,048 you can't even see how wrong he is for you. 315 00:16:24,943 --> 00:16:26,820 Think about it. 316 00:16:26,716 --> 00:16:30,157 If you really believed he was the one, 317 00:16:30,053 --> 00:16:34,223 would you be asking me for my blessing? 318 00:16:35,370 --> 00:16:39,541 Go to hell, Will. 319 00:16:44,025 --> 00:16:46,110 No, Rosario, 320 00:16:46,006 --> 00:16:49,134 por favor, honey, listen to me for a second, okay? 321 00:16:48,926 --> 00:16:51,845 Take Olivia and Mason 322 00:16:51,741 --> 00:16:55,912 to la store de los toys. 323 00:16:56,120 --> 00:16:58,206 - Where's Grace? - Oh, honey, thank God. 324 00:16:58,101 --> 00:17:00,917 How do you say toy store in Spanish? 325 00:17:00,812 --> 00:17:03,002 - Tienda de juguetes. - Uh-huh, thanks. 326 00:17:02,898 --> 00:17:07,069 F-A-O-yeah-Schwartzo. 327 00:17:07,173 --> 00:17:11,344 Si, si, Rosario, gracias. Hola. 328 00:17:14,055 --> 00:17:17,600 I haven't slept. I can't get any work done. Where is she? 329 00:17:17,496 --> 00:17:21,458 Will, just stop right there. I cannot tell you anything, it's a secret. 330 00:17:21,145 --> 00:17:23,126 - What is? - She's at City Hall getting married. 331 00:17:23,126 --> 00:17:27,297 Oh, devil. 332 00:17:27,193 --> 00:17:29,800 What? What about the big wedding? 333 00:17:29,696 --> 00:17:31,781 She thought it was best to get it over with quickly, 334 00:17:31,677 --> 00:17:34,701 not to make a big to-do, and I say "Brava!" 335 00:17:34,596 --> 00:17:36,890 - Grace... - Oh, look who's here. 336 00:17:36,786 --> 00:17:39,184 - I'm sorry. - It's a little late for that. 337 00:17:39,080 --> 00:17:41,582 No, I'm here, Grace. I'm here to support your marriage. 338 00:17:41,478 --> 00:17:43,564 - There is no marriage. - What? 339 00:17:43,459 --> 00:17:46,796 There is no marriage! 340 00:17:46,692 --> 00:17:50,133 And you wanna know why? Because my best friend... 341 00:17:50,028 --> 00:17:52,427 that would be the part you're supposed to play... 342 00:17:52,322 --> 00:17:56,180 my best friend dropped a bomb 343 00:17:55,972 --> 00:17:58,996 of poo on my head. 344 00:17:58,891 --> 00:18:02,228 Oh, honey, l... 345 00:18:02,124 --> 00:18:04,731 I was fine. 346 00:18:04,626 --> 00:18:07,650 I was getting married, and then you come along. 347 00:18:07,546 --> 00:18:10,778 You come and you poison... 348 00:18:10,570 --> 00:18:14,636 with the... with the thorns from the... the flower... 349 00:18:15,575 --> 00:18:18,286 I had this metaphor worked out earlier, 350 00:18:18,182 --> 00:18:22,352 but I'm just very upset right now. 351 00:18:22,352 --> 00:18:25,689 Gracie, I just want you to be happy. 352 00:18:25,480 --> 00:18:29,651 No, Will, you want me to be alone like you. 353 00:18:30,485 --> 00:18:33,197 - Is that the way you see this? - Yes. 354 00:18:33,092 --> 00:18:36,116 It's interesting, 355 00:18:36,012 --> 00:18:40,183 because I never thought of myself as being alone. 356 00:18:42,789 --> 00:18:46,126 Well that was a little harsh. 357 00:18:46,022 --> 00:18:47,482 Good. 358 00:18:47,482 --> 00:18:51,652 Yes, yes it is. He's a bad person, very bad. 359 00:18:53,321 --> 00:18:57,492 Grace, I think it's time for a couple of blue bippies. 360 00:18:58,534 --> 00:19:02,705 - I don't want any pills. - They're not for you, they're for me. 361 00:19:04,895 --> 00:19:07,710 Marriage is... what? 362 00:19:07,502 --> 00:19:10,108 Marriage is... 363 00:19:10,004 --> 00:19:14,071 marriage is. Okay? What the hell, that's all you need to... 364 00:19:13,966 --> 00:19:16,469 Grace? 365 00:19:16,365 --> 00:19:17,824 She's gone. 366 00:19:17,720 --> 00:19:20,953 She's gone, and I'm sitting here talking to myself like a crazy person. 367 00:19:20,848 --> 00:19:25,019 Oh my God, listen to me, I'm still doing it. 368 00:19:34,508 --> 00:19:35,968 Will, 369 00:19:35,863 --> 00:19:39,930 I am... I am so sorry 370 00:19:39,721 --> 00:19:43,892 for what I said back there. 371 00:19:49,523 --> 00:19:51,921 I know. 372 00:19:51,921 --> 00:19:56,092 It was mean, but... I know. 373 00:19:59,429 --> 00:20:03,182 This morning, on the way to the ceremony, 374 00:20:02,974 --> 00:20:05,581 Danny looked at me and said, 375 00:20:05,476 --> 00:20:08,917 "I can't wait to spend the rest of my life with you." 376 00:20:08,813 --> 00:20:12,358 And I turned to him and said, 377 00:20:12,150 --> 00:20:16,320 "You know the limo has a phone?" 378 00:20:17,467 --> 00:20:19,866 It wasn't right. 379 00:20:19,761 --> 00:20:23,307 He was a smart attractive man who loved me, 380 00:20:23,202 --> 00:20:26,435 and who I loved, by the way. 381 00:20:26,330 --> 00:20:28,937 Why wasn't it right? 382 00:20:28,729 --> 00:20:30,918 Sweetie, 383 00:20:30,814 --> 00:20:33,525 remember in college we saw that French film 384 00:20:33,421 --> 00:20:35,715 about a man and a woman that were perfect for one another, 385 00:20:35,611 --> 00:20:37,487 but they kept missing each other. 386 00:20:37,383 --> 00:20:39,886 And in the last scene, they meet on a plane, 387 00:20:39,781 --> 00:20:42,075 because that's the way it was destined to be. 388 00:20:41,971 --> 00:20:46,142 Remember? And you said, "That's gonna be me." 389 00:20:47,393 --> 00:20:50,209 Gracie, you're just in the middle of your movie. 390 00:20:50,104 --> 00:20:53,232 Danny was a plot point. A nice, decent, 391 00:20:53,128 --> 00:20:57,299 postcoital high-fiving plot point. 392 00:20:58,446 --> 00:21:01,470 There's still time. Go get some Raisinettes. 393 00:21:01,261 --> 00:21:04,702 - I like Red Vines. - Whatever you want. 394 00:21:04,598 --> 00:21:08,769 The point is, it's not over if your movie's gonna have a happy ending. 395 00:21:09,082 --> 00:21:12,731 - You just have to see it through. - Oh God. 396 00:21:12,627 --> 00:21:16,798 - Come here. - Huh-uh. 397 00:21:19,926 --> 00:21:22,115 What do you say we go get a drink? 398 00:21:22,011 --> 00:21:26,182 Yes-ss. 399 00:21:27,016 --> 00:21:29,102 - What is with that dress? - Give me a break. 400 00:21:28,997 --> 00:21:33,168 - I had five minutes to prepare for this. - Still. 401 00:21:36,192 --> 00:21:39,529 What are we to toast to your lovely new bride? 402 00:21:39,424 --> 00:21:43,595 Yeah! 403 00:21:44,847 --> 00:21:46,932 Here's to the ball and chain. 404 00:21:46,828 --> 00:21:49,122 If she makes it through the night, ba-bing, 405 00:21:49,017 --> 00:21:53,188 I think I'll keep her. 406 00:21:54,648 --> 00:21:58,297 Wait, my turn. 407 00:21:58,193 --> 00:22:00,800 To my Will. 408 00:22:00,696 --> 00:22:04,762 You are my hero, and my soul mate. 409 00:22:04,554 --> 00:22:06,848 And I'm a better woman for loving you. 410 00:22:06,743 --> 00:22:09,246 Oo-ooh! 411 00:22:09,142 --> 00:22:11,853 Hey, hey, hey... Come on, you two. 412 00:22:11,748 --> 00:22:15,919 - How's about a kiss? - Yeah! 413 00:22:15,919 --> 00:22:20,090 Kiss, kiss, kiss... 414 00:22:28,536 --> 00:22:32,707 - Nothing? Anything? - Sorry, no, it's... 31142