All language subtitles for The.King.Of.Queens.S03E20.Separation.Anxiety.AC3.DVDRip.XviD-MEDiEVAL.English-HI

♪ My eyes
are gettin' weary ♪

♪ my back is gettin' tight

♪ I'm sittin' here
in traffic ♪

♪ on the queensboro bridge
tonight ♪

♪ but I don't care,
'cause all I want to do ♪

♪ is cash my check
and drive right home to you ♪

♪ 'cause, baby, all my life

♪ I will be drivin'
home to you ♪

No, sweetie,
it's no problem.

We can come
pick you up.

Yeah, ok, we'll
see you then.

Bye-bye.

What are you doin'?

The other day
I--I cut out a coupon

to supersize your
popcorn for free
at the movies,

and now I don't know
what I did with it.

Well, we have to
leave in a minute

so you may have to kiss
that dream goodbye.

Why don't you just
pay for whatever
popcorn you want?

No, 'cause you're gonna
pressure me to get a medium.

If I have the coupon,
it's out of our hands.

Who was that
on the phone?

Oh, that was Kelly. She's
coming with us tonight.

Oh, really?

What?

Would you rather
she sit at home alone,

depressed that she
and Deacon are separated?

I wouldn't say "rather".

Well, she is coming.
So back it down.

But you know I feel bad
that they're not together.

You know I do.

It's just...
This threesome thing
is just brutal.

They always seat you
at a table for 4.

Then they whip away that
extra napkin and silverware.

It's very
upsetting to me.

Really?

You didn't seem that
upset 2 nights ago,

when we went out
with just Deacon.

It was a buffet.

We've gone out
with Deacon alone

and now we're goin'
out with Kelly alone.

They're both
our friends.

Can we just be
honest here, please?

Kelly is your friend,
Deacon is my friend.

Why can't we just
say it out loud?

Ok. Yes, Kelly
is my friend.

She is my best friend, ok?

And you're lucky that
I even agreed to go out
with Deacon at all!

Ok?

This whole separation is
all his fault. Am I wrong?

Tell me,
huh, huh, huh?

Look, all right, let's
not have that fight again.

The last time we did,
you yelled a lot
and scared me.

But you did say
that it was good

that they agreed to go
to counseling, didn't ya?

Huh? You did say
that, huh, huh?

Yes, that's true.

Yeah, yeah, doesn't feel
so good when the "huhs"
turn against you, does it?

All right, come on.
We're gonna be late.

So tuck or suck somethin'
in there and let's go.

I'm gonna tuck.

Oh, and by the way,

here's your coupon
and it's expired.

Son of a "b"!

I'm gonna
try it anyway.

If they say anything, I'll
pretend I didn't notice.

[Doorbell rings]

[Clears throat]

Hey!
Hi, guys.

What's up, guys?

Deac, you're here?

Uh...

Did you guys, like,
work things out?

No, Deacon's just here
watching the kids
while we go out.

Oh, well, th-that's
great, too.

'Cause, I mean,
together or apart,
you two are both great.

Like lamb chops
and mint jelly.

Actually mint jelly
on its own,

hmm, not so great.

I'm not sayin' which one
of you is mint jelly
and which one is a lamb chop.

Honey, would you suck
on one of these?
Yeah, I'm gonna do that.

So, kel, what movie
do you wanna see?

I don't know.
I kind of wanna see
something mindless. Like, uh,

what's that thriller
where the earth is losing
its gravitational pull?

Oh, floaters, yeah,
I'll see that, right, honey?

Uh, everything on
the planet is floating
up into space?

What part of me would
not wanna see that movie?

I--I--I thought we
said we were gonna
see that together.

Oh, all right, you know,
he--he-- he's right.

Can--can we-- can we
see something else?

I kinda really wanna
see floaters, though.

Yeah, me, too.

[Sighs]
Guy?

Just see it
with them.

Ok.

But I'm gonna name
my popcorn Deacon.

Sweet.

All right, look. I-I'm
just gonna take the kids
back to Spence's.

Put 'em to bed by 8:00.

Kel.

I know when to put
my kids to bed.

Just reminding you.

You're implying
I don't know how to
care for my own kids.

Well, since you refused
to go to counseling,

I just assumed that you
really don't care
about much of anything.

An earth with
no gravity, huh?

I wonder if they
can get me up.

Wait a minute.

You guys are not going
to counseling anymore?

Apparently Deacon doesn't
think it's the best way for
us to solve our problems.

Look, the therapist is
a woman whose husband
cheated on her.

Yeah, Deacon wants
to find a therapist

who's in favor
of infidelity.

I never touched
Angie, all right?

We had dinner a few
times, and it's over.

And I said I made
a mistake, ok?

We don't need
a therapist to tell us
the exact same thing.

You guys hate
to miss the previews
as much as I do?

(Doug)
How beautiful was that?

I handed the girl
a strategically-folded
coupon,

hiding
the expiration date.

She hands me
a supersize popcorn.

Yeah, way to go.

You outsmarted
a 13-year-old girl
with an eye-patch.

Oh, my God!
Bill, Mickey!

Carrie, hey,
how are you?

Good, everything's
good.

Um, bill and Mickey designed
the whole computer systems
for our office.

This is my husband Doug,
and my friend Kelly.

Hi.

Nice to meet you.

So, computers...

I hear they just boil down
to a series of ones and zeros.

[Chuckles]
Yeah, pretty much.

I don't know how that
means I can get naked
women on my screen,

but God bless
you people.

Should we decide who
gets this armrest now,

or just let it be
a free-for-all
once the movie starts?

Well, you know, I got
pretty sharp nails

and I'm not afraid
to use 'em.

It's all you.

♪[Music playing onscreen]

...and we're gonna
blow this up, see?

This is an air mattress.

This is where
you're gonna sleep.

It's like sleeping
on a raft.

Why are you
living here?

It's a raft!

All right, look.

Here's the thing.

I have to stay
here for a while

because mommy
and I are...

Taking a time-out.

Will you move
back home tomorrow?

Well, I, uh...

[Sighs]

Fish sticks are served!

God bless you.

Yeah.

I want you to be
careful 'cause this
plate is piping hot.

And some cheerios for
your little brother.

[Cooing]

So, what were we
talkin' about?

I don't like it here.
And I miss mommy.

Hmm.

Uh, do you--
do you mind if I...

Go ahead.

[Sighs]

Kirby.

I could never
replace your mommy.

And...

I would
never want to.

But I live with
your daddy now.

And I think if we
try really hard,

we can build a relationship
that's completely our own.

Hey, you could think of
me as your step-Spence.

Or your guy-mom.

What have I done?

Well, that was
the worst piece of crap
I've ever seen.

I know, and the ending
was so lame.

There's no gravity.

So they build a roof
over the entire world.

I mean, come on.

[Chuckles]

Yeah, it, uh, sucked.
Definitely sucked.

Hey, look at that.
Bulk candy.

Finally I decide
how much I want.

I'm gonna go
hit the bathroom.

Oh, you know what?
I'm gonna stop off, too.

It was very nice
meeting you.

Yes, it was a pleasure
to meet you, too, Kelly.

Kelly, more like
smelly, am I right?

You know what? I was
gonna ask you, um,

is she available? I mean,
what's her situation?

She's married.

Um, actually,
she's separated.

No, she's not.

I mean-- I mean she--
she is. But it's like...

If your favorite
plate breaks,

the 2 halves
are separated.

But all you really need
is some crazy glue.

Yes. But until that
plate gets fixed,

then you maybe need
to eat on a new
plate for a while.

Especially when one half
of the old plate refuses
to go to counseling.

You know what
I'm saying, bill?

No, he doesn't know
what you're sayin'.

Because I'm sure he,
like most people,

has crazy glue
in the house,

and knows it dries
pretty much instantly.

Ok, I guess what we're
saying is we don't exactly
know where she's at.

Ok, well,

if she decides to
get back out there,

here's my card, and you
just have her call me.

Ok. Great.

Actually, I'll
see you next week.

I gotta come in
and debug your system.

All right, I'll
see you then.

Ok, now.
Whatever.

[Grunts]

You better debug
your attitude first.

Ready?

What's up?

Nothing.

Come on, let's go.

Hon,

this way.

Yeah, f.Y.I., supersize
gets free refills.

I just don't see how
you could do that.

I didn't do
anything.

I didn't even
give her the card.

You set them up.

I introduced them, ok?

They were sitting right
next to each other.

I also introduced you.

Does that mean I'm setting
you up with the little one?

Ok, first of all,
the little one has a name.

I'm not sure
what it is, but he has one.

And it was very clear
what was goin' on there.

You're still mad at Deacon
and you're tryin' to help
Kelly get back at him.

Well, ok, maybe,
that's true.

But why shouldn't she
date? He had his share.

I knew it!
Women hate men!

Why--why do you
hate us so much?

Is it 'cause we can
pee standing up?

Oh, that makes you
crazy, doesn't it?

Who brings a bucket
of popcorn home
from the movies?

I mean,
who does this?

Someone who thinks
when you're allowed
to get a free refill,

you get your
free refill.

It's called good
money management.

What are you lookin'
at that for?

You're not actually
thinkin' of givin' her
the guy's card, are you?

I'm thinkin'
about it, yes.

Mmm-hmm. Ok.

Can I, uh,
can I see it?

Come on.

Let me hold it,
come on.

You're gonna
rip it up!

I'm not gonna
rip it up. I just wanna
see his title and stuff.

I wanna see what
kind of guy is
interested in Kelly.

She's my friend,
too, you know?

Come on, I promise
I won't rip it.

Are you
gonna eat it?

Hey, I'm a grown man.

I'm not gonna
eat the guy's card.

Ok.

Here you go.

I can still rip it.

Stop!

You cannot set Kelly up.

That would be
like--like incest.

How is that like incest?

Ok. Obviously you don't
know what incest means.

No, obviously,

you don't know
what incest means.

[Phone rings]

Hello.

Hey, it's me.

Oh, hey, babe,
you all right?

Yeah. I'm sorry if
i was a downer tonight.

No, no, no, no,
you were great.

I don't mean this as
anything against you guys,

but it kind of sucks
being the 3rd wheel.

You know what,
hang on one second, ok?

Ok.

I want to tell
her about the guy.

No.

Doug, she is feeling
really down.

I want to give her
an ego boost.

No--no. Maybe she's
just shaken over
the harsh reality

that earth could
lose its
gravitational pull.

I'll tell her.

Kel?
Yeah.

Um, you know bill, the guy
you met at the movies tonight?

He thinks you're ugly!
He's gay! He's gay!

Stop.

Uh, when you were
in the bathroom--

if you do that, I swear
I will dump your whole
makeup case into the trash.

I'll do it.

He actually asked
if you were available.

He did?

Bye-bye.

I'll fish that out.

Man, these pigs in blankets
are incredible.

Thanks, man.
You know,

I glazed the wieners
with brown sugar,

with just a touch
of chilly powder,

to awaken people's
hidden appetites.

I'm uncomfortable,
but eating, anyway.

Hey, guy.
Hey.

Hey, the kids are here,
what a surprise.

What's up?

Kelly asked me to
baby-sit them last
minute. Is that cool?

What, are you kiddin'? Now
I'll have to finish building
lego city by myself.

Yeah.

Yeah, come on.
And here's
my little man.

[Making baby sounds]

[Chuckles]

Come on.

It's weird,
man, I mean,

Kelly said she was
going out somewhere,

but she wouldn't
say with whom.

[Scoffs]

Women. Hey, come on, man,
let's watch the knick game.

Oh, look, white guy.

They're funny.

Wait.

You know who she's
with, don't you?

Me? Oh, no.

No.

[Sighs]

She--she might be
out on a date.

Oh, man, I knew it!

Who is it? How
did she meet him?

Actually,
Carrie knows the guy.

We ran into him last
week at the movies.

Floaters, not worth
your time, by the way.

I can't believe it,
you set my wife
up on a date?

No, no. I tried to stop it.

Oh, man.

Come on, guy,
just relax, all right?

So she's out with some
loser, what's the
worst that can happen?

He can have sex with my wife.

Ok, right. Yeah.

Ok, but then you know what?

You never slept with
that other woman,

so if Kelly
sleeps with this guy,

she'd be
in the wrong and that
gives you the upper hand.

Slap it high!

Look. Who-- who's
the guy, man?

Just--just some guy,
your basic guy.

C-come on, I got to know.

His name is bill. Bill.

What kind of
name is that? Bill.

Is that short for William?

Y-you know what he does?

I think he designs
computer systems or
something lame like that.

Well, what does he look like?

Nothing special.
You wouldn't even
give him a second look,

if he wasn't
dating your wife.

Oh, man, where did they go?
I got to go look at him.

That's a bad idea.
And anyway, I don't
know where they are.

[Phone rings]

Hello.

Hey, baby cakes.

Hey, sweetie.
How's the game?

It's good,
it's good. I just, uh,

wanted to call and say hi.

So, uh, tonight is
Kelly's date, right?

Yeah.

I was thinkin' about it
and, uh,

maybe it is a good thing.

Maybe it will help her think
things through about deac.

Really, honey? Well...

I'm glad you came around.

Yeah, me, too,
me, too.

So where did they
go, anyway?

I think they were just going
to a movie at the loyola.

Oh, great, thanks.

For what?

What do you
mean, "thanks"?

I--I--I mean, uh...

Thanks for bein'
the best damn thing
that ever happened to me.

Wait a minute.
You're with Deacon.

(Doug)
Got another call.
I love you.

Oh, God.

(Bill)
Then I went to St. John's
to get my masters,

when I got sidetracked
into this computer thing.

Oh, really? My husband,
I mean my ex...

My, uh, separated--

Deacon.

Yeah, he went to St. John's.

God, I'm sorry.
I keep mentioning him.

I must be a real
joy to be with.

It's ok.

Maybe for an encore, you
can change my baby's diaper.

Can't believe they made
me buy a ticket to do this.

There they are.

All right, fine.
Ok, you saw them.

Come on,
time to go.

Wait, wait, wait, wait.

I feel like I got
to do something.

What can you do?

I don't know.
Just seeing that guy,

you know.
He's good-looking.

He designs computers.

I'm just a delivery guy.
I'm--I'm a glorified donkey.

Hey, don't put
yourself down,

and me in the process.

Why don't you go there
and talk to her for me?

No--no, you can talk
to her after the date.

I can't face her.
Just go in there,

and tell her I want
to go back to counseling.

I don't think--

Doug, please, man.

For me?

[Sighing]

Excuse me, I have to
get back in there, thanks.

Sorry. God, that was your
foot right there. Sorry.

Kelly.

Doug, what are you
doing here?

I just have to--
hi, bill.

Deacon dragged me
down here to find you.

What?

Yeah, he--he wants
me to tell you that

he--he really wants
to go back to counseling.

You can tell him
I'm having a great time.

And that just
'cause he's jealous,

doesn't mean he can
come down here and
try and make everything ok.

Go tell him that.

Sorry again.
Oh, look out.

X. X. L.

She said, just
'cause you're jealous,
you can't just run

in there and think
everything's gonna be ok.

Well, tell her that...

Tell her I'm sorry.

Tell her I miss her.

I miss the way she
puts ice in her soup

and moves her lips
slightly when she reads.

I miss the way
she puts on my robe
to go get the mail.

I--I just want to tell her
I love her every night
before we go to sleep again.

That's going to be way
better comin' from you.

All right. Just go.

[Sighing]

I'm very sorry. Believe me.
I know, I know,

I would be mad at
me at this point.

Hey, you.

Get outta there!

Go away, go away.
Shoo. Very sorry.

Deacon wanted
me to tell you--

Doug, leave them alone.

I just have one more
thing to say from Deacon.

You know, I should
probably just go.

Bill, just sit down and
eat your peanut chews.

I can't believe you
brought him down here.

He wanted to come,
he's my friend, I'm sorry.

This is the last thing
that Kelly needs right now.

You guys.

Let me
just get this out.

He said he misses you,

and he loves the way
you eat soup,

and the way you wear
his robe when you go
to get the mail.

And you--you
do something weird
with your lips when you read.

But in a good way.

Bottom line:

Yeah, you know, fine,
he came down here
because he was jealous.

But it took that to make him
realize how much he loves you.

And how he wants to
tell you that every night
for the rest of his life.

You know,
maybe you should go.

Yeah.

This was fun.

Excuse me. Excuse me.
Coming through.

Oh, oh, oh,
bill, bill.

You know, I'm having this
thing with my computer.

It freezes up every--
you know what? I'll call you.

I'll call you.

My bad, my bad.

Hi.

Hi.

Did you really
mean what Doug said?

If he got it right,
then--then, yeah.

You know what?
We're gonna go.

Yeah, come on,
come on, let's go.

Sorry. Ok, all right.

Sorry about that.

I ain't a gummy bear.

S-so you want to sit
down and watch the movie?

Ok.

And after that I--I
really want to talk.

Ok.

Ok.

You know,
maybe we should...

Ok.

[Chuckling]

Oh, for God's sake,
you took another
expired coupon.

Are you stupid, or can you
just not read a calendar?

Oh. I wonder what today is?

It's the 48th of January.

Sorry. Here.

King-size kit Kat
bars for free.

You know where I might-- might
be a good place to eat that?

In the unemployment line!

Adios, patchy!