All language subtitles for The Strawberry Blonde (1941)_Eng

Men and women: ♪ Won't you
come home, Bill Bailey? ♪

♪ Won't you come home?

♪ She moans the whole day long

♪ I'll do de cooking, darlin',
I'll pay de rent ♪

♪ I knows I've done you wrong

♪ 'Member that rainy eve
that I drove you out ♪

♪ With nothing
but a fine-tooth comb? ♪

♪ I knows I'se to blame...

Ah! On that set,
I congranulate myself.

Biff, what is it the score?

I don't know. Haven't
you been keeping track?

Since when do I supposed
to know to count?

You can count in
Greek, can't you?

But this no Greek game.

Well, are we
playing for money?

Sure.

In that case, I'm way ahead.

I think tomorrow morning

I start to go to
night school.

♪ Meet me in St. Louis, Louis

♪ Meet me at the fair

♪ Don't tell me
the lights are shining ♪

♪ Any place but there

♪ We will dance
the hoochee coochee ♪

♪ I will be
your tootsie wootsie... ♪

What is she singing about?

Women are always singing.

Why not?

I like a good bass.

In my opinion, no
woman can sing.

Is my opinion Madame Melba

Is greatest singeress
in the world.

Well, then, she
must sing bass.

I don't like women who sing.

That's the way
I'm constituted.

Woman: Biff.

Biff.

Biff, you still playing
that silly game?

I'm almost ready.

Oh, don't break a bustle.
I'll be in in a minute.

Your hands aren't washed yet,

And the afternoon's
almost over.

All we're going to
do is take a walk.

I don't have to take a
bath for that, do I?

Biff Grimes, you're
worse than a child.

Oh.

Sundays are a pain in
the back teeth to me.

Nothing to do but take walks.

Is better than
working, don't it?

Oh, working, working.

Uh...

I'm tired of playing.

Hey, what's the idea?

Oh, sorry. Don't know
my own strength.

You might have hit someone!

Well, what do you want
me to do, try again?

Well, you might be a
little more civil.

Oh, tell it to Sweeney.

Why, I've a good mind to
come over there and...

Aha!

A college man!

Now I'm scared.

Please, Harold,

Brawling may be all right
for a Harvard man, but...

I'd like to give him a taste
of the good old flying wedge!

Phew! Boy, you sure got some
sweet temperature today.

That's nothing.

This is my Sunday mood.

You should see me the
rest of the week.

Nick, I think I'll have
to give up this place.

I've been here... 8 months.

8 months, and I've
had two patients,

And I'm still trying to
collect from one of them.

Well, always from the
start in the beginning.

Hey, Nick...

Do you suppose they
know I'm a jailbird?

Naw. How they know that?

Well, they found out in the
other two neighborhoods.

Well, then, how do you
account for the...

Maybe you just move in a
neighborhood with good teeth.

That's very discouraging.

Very discouraging.

Well, may as well get
that walk over with.

Keep right on
playing that tune.

You want some
more Birch Beer?

No. Never mind.

Hey, what's the name of
that thing they're playing?

You know better than I do

What's the name of that
thing they're playing.

Yeah. And the band played on.

Hmm. That's all I remember.

That song must be 8
or 10 years old.

Sure. Biff, remember
Schultz's 3-piece band

Down in the old
neighborhood park?

Bands plays on,
bands plays on...

That's all they ever do.

That's all they ever knew.

You ever go down to the old
neighborhood anymore, Nick?

Naw. It's too much of a trip.

♪ Casey would
waltz mit a straw-ber-ry blonde ♪

♪ und the band
played on... ♪

Boy, how those foreigners
murders the English language.

Uh, we'll never have those
good times again, Nick.

A little two-by-four park
and all those girls.

Ah, she was a beautiful girl.

Who?

Virginia.

Now, what made you
bring up Virginia?

You were stuck on
her, ain't you?

Me? Naw...

Oh, I was.

Oh, I liked her...
In a nice way.

Yeah, I liked her, too,
but I forget which way.

To think of all the wonderful
boys in the neighborhood,

Including me,

And Hugo Barnstead
has to get Virginia.

Why did you have
to bring up Hugo?

How can you bring up Virginia

Without bringing up Hugo?

If ever I get my hands
on that slimy...

That's right, Biff.

You knock him
down, I kick him.

I mean it, Nick.

After all, the best
thing is for to forget.

Let bygones be bygones.

Not me. I take
nothing from nobody.

That's the kind of
a hairpin I am.

Doggone it,

I was just beginning to
forget the whole thing

When that tinhorn
band had to start up

And you had to
open your trap.

All right, Biff. It's closed.

How long are they going to
keep on playing that piece?

Hey!

Hey, you, shut up!

I beg your pardon. Were
you addressing me?

I was talking to the band.
Any objections?

I don't like the tune
they're playing.

Oh, you don't. Well, we do.

In fact, we asked them
to play it again.

I'm going to ask
them to change it.

Well, it's still
a free country.

I guess they can
play what they like.

Is it free enough
for a dentist

To punch a college
man in the nose?

Certainly, and since
you're a dentist,

Maybe you won't mind losing
a couple of front teeth!

Why, you...

Let go of me!

Easy, boy. There's 6 of them.

That makes it even.

Biff!

What?

Biff, what are you doing?

Discussing music.

Biff, you come right
in here this instant.

You're wanted on
the telephone.

Get the number and tell
them I'll call them back.

Biff!

Oh, all right.

Don't you move!

I'll be right back.

Don't worry. We'll be here.

Biff, fighting on Sunday.

Oh, goodness,

I don't know what this
neighborhood's coming to.

I want to apologize
for my husband.

Apologize?

After I knock him
cold, then apologize.

Tessie, you leave
Butch alone.

Now, leave him alone.

Oh, you answer it, Nick.
It can't be important.

Hurry up, Biff,

Hello?

Just a minute, please.

Man says his friend
got a toothache.

Tell him to keep it.

The doctor is very busy.

He says it hurts.

Wants for you should pull it.

Tell him I don't pull
teeth on Sunday,

Unless it's a child.

How old is this toothache?

He says he is the president
from the Exchange Bank.

Wants to speak
to you personal.

I don't care who he is. I
don't pull teeth on Sunday.

I have no patients, but
I have got principles.

Here he is, president.

Hello.

I'm sorry to trouble you,

But this guest of mine's
suffering terribly.

I've already called
every other dentist

In the neighborhood,

But they're all out
walking with their wives.

Would you please do it?

Called every dentist in
the neighborhood first.

I'm sorry.

I've got a wife,

Tell your friend to try
a hot water bottle.

We've already tried that...

As you can probably hear.

Now, look, I know
it's Sunday,

But Mr. Barnstead's willing to
pay you double your usual fee.

It isn't a matter of mo...

Wait a minute.

What name did you
say that was?

Barnstead.

Would that be Hugo Barnstead?

Yes, Hugo Barnstead,
the alderman.

Oh. Well, then,
send him over.

No, I'll do it.

Oh, no, not at all.
No, it's a pleasure.

Well...

Can you beat it?

Hugo Barnstead is coming over
to have his tooth pulled.

Coincidentally a coincidence.

It's more than a coincidence.

It's poetic justice.

Is it? I take
your word for it.

But say, Hugo... don't he
know you're the dentist?

I guess not.

I guess he doesn't even
know I'm out of jail.

Ho ho! And to think
that I was considering

Going after him with a gun,

And here he walks
right into my parlor.

Now, Biff...

Yeah.

If I know Hugo Barnstead,
he's going to want gas.

All right, I'll give him gas.

Now, Biff, don't do nothing
you're going to be sorry for.

What do you want me to do...

Tear out his teeth
with my bare hands?

Of course I'll give him gas.

An accident can happen.
Who are we to know?

Biff, you crazy.

Who has a better
right than me?

Nobody, but...

Nobody can blame
me then, can they?

That don't do nobody no good.

It don't help you,
don't help Amy.

Hmm. Can you imagine it?

Walking right into my parlor.

Keep on playing that song!

It helps to remind me!

Biff: Which reminds me of a
time about 10 years ago.

My old man was working for the
street cleaning department.

Who is this
greets me tired eyes,

If it's tired they are?

If it isn't Mrs. Mulcahey.

Uh-huh.

'Tis early for you to be
coming home from work,

Isn't it, Mr. Grimes,

Even though you are
working for the city?

Well, I'm hardly a clock watcher, Mrs.
Mulcahey.

Sure. It couldn't
be now, I suppose,

That the city has fired you?

Well, couldn't we better
say that we'd, uh...

We dissolved partnership?

Aw, pshaw! What's going to become
of you at all, William Grimes?

That is a question I'm not even
interested in the answer of,

And I'm glad the
city did fire me.

It gives me more time to be
with you, Mrs. Mulcahey.

Tell me... ha ha!... Is
your good husband to home?

Well, indeed, he is not.

My Timothy's a man can
hold on to a job,

And he'll be home when every
respectable working man comes home,

At 7:30.

Then we must hurry
away to the park

And under the spread of
the Chestnut tree with...

Aw, go on. You're
just a faker.

Me, a faker? You'd
say that to me?

Well, if there's
one thing certain,

Your bark is worse
than your bite.

If there's another
thing certain,

The ladies all prefer me bark
to their husband's bite.

You're a braggart, a
blow-hard, and a liar,

That's what you are!

Of a certainty, I'm a liar.

Then why do you go
around talking love

To every woman in
the neighborhood?

Well, what would you
have me talk about...

The weather?

You know, Mrs. Mulcahey,

You and I are no
longer young.

So we must grasp the
grape of happiness. I...

There you go again.
You and your blather.

What's the sign
they're putting out?

Bock beer.

I know the rest of it.
Mrs. Mulcahey,

I've suddenly remembered a
luncheon appointment that I'd had,

So we'll take this up

Where we leave off
now in the morning,

After your good husband
has gone to work.

A good day to you.

Uh-huh. Oh, glory be!
Ha ha ha!

Top of the day to
you, gentlemen.

What's the matter?

Did you lose your job again?

Quite.

Can't even hold a
political job, can you?

It was a mere disagreement.

I expect an apology
in the morning,

Or else it'll mean
the end of Tammany.

Ha ha!

Oh, no, you don't. Ha ha ha!

There's a scalawag if there
ever was one. Ha ha ha!

Man: Good night, all!

Well, Biff!

What are you doing here?

You're supposed
to be working.

Well, you know,

A little bite of lunch
and a glass of beer.

But you were following the parade,
and that's a long way from here.

Have you been canned again?

Well, Biff, we may
as well face it.

I was never in the world cut
out to be a street cleaner,

And there's no use
reaching for the stars.

What happened this time?

Oh, Biff, it's me teeth,

And when a man's in misery...

Why can't you get
a new alibi?

When I've been using
that one for 30 years?

Huh! What are you doing here?

I'm working here.

Since when?

Since this morning.

Oh, no, you're not. You're
quitting right now.

I'll have no son of
mine being a bartender.

I'm not a bartender.
I'm the new bouncer.

The bouncer!

Oh, Biff, you've made me
the happiest man in...

Oh, cut it out, will ya?

I'm supposed to
be a tough guy.

Oh, well, tell me, Biff,

Have you thrown
anyone out yet?

No, things have
been pretty quiet,

But it'll pick up.

Oh.

Say, this ain't gonna
change your idea

About being a dentist, is it?

No, of course not.

A lesson came in the
mail this morning.

I think I'll do some
work on you tonight.

That's the stuff.

You fix the old man's
teeth, and wait and see.

I be a different man.

Nothing will be changed
but your smile.

Aw, now, Biff, you
know that my teeth

Have always been the
root of all my trouble.

Now, you do a good job on me,

I'd be a reformed character,

And I'd become a credit
to the community.

Oh, Biff, let me hug you.

Quit slobbering over me, will ya?
Cut it out.

Very well. Tell you what.

Everybody step up to the bar.

I have great cause
for celebration.

Bring out your best.

Oh, hold your horses.

What are you going
to use for money?

Well, uh, I was
of the impression

That my credit was
good around here.

Do me a favor and tie
that bull outside.

Well, in that case,

Everybody have a round
of free lunch on me!

Throw this bum out.

Oh, I can't do that.
He's my old man.

He's not mine. Throw him out!

Well, there are a lot
of other bums in here.

Let me throw one
of them out, huh?

Who's giving orders
around here?

Throw him out on his ear.

Now, listen, you.

Why, you couldn't throw
me out if you wanted to.

I've licked you through all the
ages and stages of your life.

I've licked you with a strap.

I've licked you with a broom.

I've licked you
with me bare fist,

And right here and now,

Spotting you 32
years, a beer belly,

And the delicate
condition of me teeth,

With one arm behind me
back, one foot in the air,

Whistling the tune
Annie Laurie,

I can throw you through
that plate-glass window

Without even so much as
making a crack in the pane!

Oh, now, look here, Pop.

Oh, that's it, is it?

Sassing your old man, holding him
up to ridicule and shame, huh?

Give me room!

Give me room!

Go for it.

Go to it, Biff.

Make it look good.
I'll cooperate.

I can't. You're my old man.

I brought you up.

Throw me clean out.

Maybe I'll bounce a
couple of times for you.

All righty. Oh.

Man: Hey.

Are you hurted, Mr. Grimes?

Not even me feelings. Ha ha!

And since I'm going your way,

We'll drop to your house
and have a spot of tea.

Now, the next time,

Don't even let
that bum in here.

Who are you calling a bum?

Say, watch the way
you talk to me.

Oh, no. You watch this.

♪ Wait till the sun shines,
Nellie ♪

♪ When the clouds
go drifting by ♪

♪ Wait till the sun shines,
Nellie ♪

♪ By and by

Wonderful invention,
the leech.

That's not an invention.
That's animal.

Wonderful animal, the leech.

I'm easy to get along with.

When are you ever
going to win a fight?

Biff doesn't want to spoil his record.
Do you, Biff?

Aw, he hit me
with a spittoon.

Only after he got tired of
hitting you with his fists.

Hiya, boys.

Hugo, still want
to take a bet

In the third at graves end?

Sure. What horse?

Ulysses S. Grant.

35 cents on the nose.

35 cents? What
is it, a legacy?

What, again?

What a pipperino.

Looks like some of
Big Joe's work.

Right. How did you guess?

His initials are
beginning to form.

Aw, he hit me with
a beer bottle.

What happened to
the spittoon?

Don't worry. I'll fix him.

I don't take nothing
from nobody.

That's the kind of
a hairpin I am.

Any of you fellas
want to buy a ticket

For the boat ride?

Not me. I'm going
to stowaway.

I take one of those
stowaways tickets, too.

What's the matter
with you boys?

This is sponsored by

The ladies aid auxiliary

Of the fourth ward
Democratic Club.

Don't you want to
lend a helping hand

To a worthy cause?

Not when the worthy cause
is Hugo Barnstead.

Aw, believe me, fellas,

Of doing a good
deed for charity.

Ah, horses' feathers.

And a small commission.

That sounds more like

The Hugo Barnstead we all know...
And hate.

I suppose that shiner was Big
Joe's way of firing you.

I guess so. Anybody hit another
guy with a broom handle.

While you're not
doing anything,

Why don't you help me sell
the rest of these tickets?

I'm too busy with my
other enterprises.

I'll split the
commission with you.

I've heard about
the way you split.

You'll make a better
salesman than a bouncer.

All right.

I'll try some.

I'll try the dentists.
We're colleagues.

♪ In the evening,
by the moonlight ♪

♪ You can hear
those darkies singing ♪

♪ In the evening,
by the moonlight ♪

♪ You can hear
those banjos ringing ♪

♪ How the old folks
would enjoy... ♪

♪ It

Finish!

Hey, fellas! Here comes
a strawberry blonde.

2, 4, 6, 8...

Who do we appreciate?

Man: Going my way, sister?

Second man: I love my
wife, but, oh, you kid!

Your mother know you're out?

For her, I'd take out
citizenship papers.

Watch me get her.

Nothing like selling a ticket to a
charity boat ride to get acquainted.

Let Biff go. He's
your salesman now.

Oh, gosh. I couldn't
ask her for money.

Oh, pardon me.

Can you beat that?

If you ask me, Miss
Brush and Hugo

Are going to become
awfully good friends.

See what I mean?

You take that back.

What for?

I'm entitled to my opinion.

Which one of your ears
do you want knocked out?

Just you try either
one, mister.

Give me room.

Go over to the drugstore and
get me another leech, quick.

Oh, Biff. What do they
call that stuff again?

Uh, nitrous oxide.

Are you sure you
know how to use it?

I'm reading up on it now.

Don't you think
we ought to wait

Until you learned
it by heart?

If I get stuck, I can
always look at the letter.

All right. I'm ready now.

Which tooth hurts?

They all hurt.

Well, I can't pull them all.

I won't know how to do that for
another 12 lessons at least,

And you know I only get
one letter a month.

Couldn't we hurry that up

With a few special
deliveries?

Will you stop being
a pussy willow?

Which tooth do
you want pulled?

I don't care. Take your pick.

I'm not playing
any favorites.

Do you want me to play
eenie-meeny-miney-moe?

No!

Well, lean back.

Wait a minute, Biff.

What's the matter now?

Just a minute.

Don't you think
we ought to have

One last little
look at the letter?

There may be a
typographical error.

If there is, we'll
find out soon enough.

Now, lean back, and
inhale into this thing.

Ha ha ha ha ha!

What's the matter?

There's
nothing the matter! Ha ha!

What's so funny?

There's nothing so funny.
Ho ho!

What are you laughing at?

I don't know,

Unless it's because I'm
looking at your face.

You've been looking at it for years.
It was never funny before.

That's right.

Oh, Biff, there's
something wrong.

I'm getting sillier
by the minute!

Oh, you're all right.

It says here, that's the way
it acts on a lot of people.

It says here, in a minute
you'll be unconscious.

Biffy...

Um?

I don't think I'm
unconscious.

It says here you're
unconscious.

Oh, maybe I am,
but I doubt it.

Are you going to make a
liar out of the letter?

Here. Take another
whiff of this, huh?

You're a fine one
to practice on.

Now, here. I promise you.

Won't hurt a bit.

Ow!

Why, you clumsy, left-handed
son of a street cleaner!

What is it you're
trying to do,

Kill your old man
for the insurance?

You haven't got
any insurance.

Oh ha ha ha!

Oh ho! That's why you're
trying to kill me.

Dentist, is it? Why, you're
worse than a plumber.

Let me get me hands on you, and
I'd tear you and them letters

Half in two in
the same motion.

Calm down, pop.
Now, calm down!

And I suppose when
you graduate,

You'll hang out a big sign,
"painless dentistry."

Well, it's a lie.
Do you hear?

It's a lie!

Whoa, whoa, whoa.

Hey, Biff!

Hugo: What are you
doing tonight?

Nothing much. Why?

Want to drive over
to the park with me?

There's some girls
waiting for us.

How many?

Hugo: Two.

Just two?

Hugo: Yeah.

I'll be right down. I got
to pull my old man's tooth.

All right.

I'm sorry, son, but
you'll have to stay home.

I be right down! Ooh!

Where's me coat?

What? Where you going?

You stay home, read
over your lessons.

I tend to the romantic
end of this family.

But I thought you wanted
your tooth pulled.

I do, but that can
wait until morning.

L'amour, son. L'amour!

Just give me one
more chance, huh?

Come on. One more chance.

I'll get it this time.

Now, take a good,
deep inhale of this.

Deeper now.

Deep! Deep! Deep!

Good.

Ah! Ah!

Ow!

Ow! Ooh!

Ooh! Aah! Oh!

Ha ha ha ha ha!

Ha ha ha ha ha ha!

Ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha!

Oh! Oh! Oh!

Ha ha ha ha ha ha ha!

Aah! Oh.

Oh. Oh.

He stabbed me!

Hey, come on. Hop up.

Let me drive, huh?

Yeah, to the park.

I drive up to the girls.

Yeah, sure. Giddyap!

Oh. Ha ha! Would you
listen to the old devil?

Ha ha ha!

Well, as I was saying, Mrs.
Mulcahey,

He says to me, "when your
husband goes to work,

Knock on my door."

Aw, he's the fine boyo.
Ha ha ha!

He's the one.

Who are the girls?

Well, one of them's the
strawberry blonde.

Virginia Brush?

In the flesh.

Oh, Virginia. Gosh.

You don't mean to say that the
very first time she met you,

Without an introduction,
she made a date with you?

Certainly not.
Virginia's a nice girl.

She just let it be known
she'd be in the park tonight

With a girlfriend.

Lots of nice girls do that.

Sure.

Naturally. Do you think I'd
wear this suit on a weekday

For anybody but Virginia?

As usual, I get the leavings.

I'll bet she's a crow.

Oh, how do you know?

Did you ever see the girlfriend
of a pretty girl that wasn't?

Take your time, speedy.
I'm in no hurry.

Oh, now, Biff.

How is it you asked
me to go along?

How is it you didn't ask one of
the other boys? How is that?

Well, Biff, number one,
you're my business partner,

And number two,
with those shiners,

You won't be much
competition with Virginia,

And number 3...

Number two is enough.

Oh, I'll bet she's a crow.

Hello, Virginia.

What kept you? Work late?

A little.

Oh, it's too bad you
didn't have time

To get out of your uniform.

I had plenty of time.

Then why didn't you?

Why should I?

I'm proud of my uniform.

It's a sign to the men

That women not only have the
same right to work as the men,

But that in the eyes of...

Oh, hush, Amy.

You're not at a
suffragette meeting now.

The tyranny of man
over woman...

The stupid convention that says a
woman shall wear such and such.

The outmoded...

Please, Amy.

Just tonight, try to be a
woman, not a pamphlet.

Women throughout
the ages have...

Oh!

It's a lovely night.

Who cares if we
ever get to vote?

Amy!

Yes, dear?

If there's something
in your eye, Amy,

I'll help you get it out.

Oh, bosh. There's
nothing in my eye.

I just plain and simple
winked at him, that's all.

No, Amy. Either he's an old
friend of the family's,

Or there's something
in your eye.

I never saw him
before in my life

Until a few minutes ago when
I passed Fisher's drugstore.

Oh, Amy, he
followed you here?

No.

I followed him.

Oh, Amy!

Will you stop that?

What will people think of us?

Virginia, be sensible.

That's the way men
behave toward women.

There's no reason why women

Shouldn't behave
that way right back.

The single standard
of morals...

I refuse to listen
to advanced ideas.

Is it any worse than
what you did...

Making a date with a man

You were never formally
introduced to?

Why, I never did
any such thing!

I simply happened to mention
that I was in the habit

Of taking walks in the
park with my girlfriend.

And besides and moreover,
I didn't wink.

Don't be a
hypocrite, Virginia.

Spiritually, you winked.

Here comes a buggy.
Maybe it's them.

Hugo: Whoa, there.

Well, there she is.
There's Virginia.

He hired a carriage.

Oh, I just knew by the
tie he wore this morning

He was a sport.

Gosh, she looks pretty.

Oh, boy, she's all the fudge!

What's that thing with her?

I suppose that's
the girlfriend.

What's she got
on, a nightgown?

That's no nightgown.

It's a uniform of some...

Why, she's a nurse.

A nurse?

Well, 23, skidoo, not
for Biff Grimes!

What's the matter with a nurse?
She looks pretty.

She'll want to take
my temperature.

Good luck, Hugo.
I'll walk home.

Wait a minute, Biff.
You can't go.

It's your date
as well as mine.

Anything you can get me into,
I can get myself out of.

So long.

Wait a minute. You're spoiling
everything with Virginia.

She won't go out
with me alone.

Biff, I've got it on
awful good authority

Nurses are a lot of fun.

I'll bet you she even lets you
put your arm around her waist.

Well, what fun is that?

Do you know the amount of
starch in a nurse's uniform?

Good night.

Biff!

You can have Virginia.
How's that?

You're not kidding?

Word of honor.

Say it louder.

Oh, all right.

Word of honor.

That's better.

I'm just crazy
about Virginia.

I don't want him to think
I'm staring at him.

You look, Amy, and tell
me what you think of him.

Well...

The only one I can see clearly
from here is the horse,

And I'm disappointed in him.

All right. Now,
here's the plan.

We won't stop the first time.

I'll drive by at a
nice fast gallop.

That'll look smart.

All right. You
handle the reins,

And I'll crack the whip.

Give her the whip.

Ya-hoo!

Here they come.

They're just trying to
make an impression.

Do you think we'll
ever see them again?

The street runs in a circle.

They should be
back any minute.

Pull up on it, Hugo!

Whoa!

Whoa!

Whoa!

This nag is wild.
We better lead him.

All right. Anything you say.

Whoa.

Now, listen.

We won't say a word to them.

Just let them pass.

Of course, if they say
something, we'll say something.

And if they don't
say anything,

We won't say anything.

No. Just drop your eyes.

Drop my eyes?

Yes.

That will show them
we're good girls

And they can't
trifle with us.

Well, for goodness sakes!

Biff: Whoa, whoa, whoa!

There they are.

Whoa, whoa, whoa!

Let's walk right
by them, huh?

Oh, no, we won't. We'll
stop and talk to them.

You speak first, and then
make me acquainted, huh?

All right. All right.

Oh! Oh!

Hugo: Hey, pull
him away, Biff!

You pull him away.
You hired him.

Gentlemen, please!

Thank you. Thank you.

We're not accustomed to being
accosted by strange horses.

I'm so sorry, ladies.

I must apologize for
the behavior of my...

Say, aren't you
the young lady

I sold the ticket
to this afternoon?

Why, I believe I am.

I thought so.

Well, I think
this circumstance

Permits me to
introduce myself.

My name is Hugo Barnstead.

How do you do? I'm
Virginia Brush.

This is my very special
girlfriend Amy... Amy Lind.

Delighted, Miss Lind.

Ahem!

Ladies, this is my
confrere, Biff Grimes.

Virginia: How do you do?

Pleased to meet you.

That our paths should
cross again so soon?

Amy and I always take our
constitutional here in the evening.

Biff and I always
manage to take a canter

In the cool of the evening.

Amy and I...

Oh, for Pete's sake, Virginia.
Cut out the nonsense.

This is a prearranged
date, and we all know it.

I've got to get back
on duty by 11:00,

So, come on, let's
shake our tootsies.

Amy!

Oh, "Amy," my grandmother's
hot water bottle!

She's fast.

Yeah.

What do you say we
all take a drive

Out to the country?

We can make Harlem
if we start now.

Oh, that would be lovely.

I'll handle the reins, Biff.

You help the ladies in.

Ok.

All right. Get in.

We have dozens of your
cases at the hospital.

It's mostly gastroduodenitis.

Please, Miss Lind.
Watch your language.

We have a lady present.

Now, Hugo, you stop that!

Hugo!

Hugo: Oh, this is all in fun!

There's something about
the country air.

Hmm?

I said there's something
about the country air.

I like city air.

Hugo: Oh, ho ho ho!

Well, there...

There really isn't
any difference

Between city air
and country air.

They're both
hydrogen and oxygen.

Air! You can't even see
it, so why talk about it?

Hugo: Oh, don't
you believe me?

Virginia: Yes, but...

My mother was one of the
original bloomer girls.

I said, uh,

My mother was one of the
original bloomer girls.

They had bats in
their belfry.

They did not!

They were foresighted,

Courageous,
intelligent women.

All right. All right.

Nobody's blaming you
for your mother.

I'm not apologizing
for my mother.

Look, do I know your mother?

Then why get into an
argument about her?

I hardly know you.

You're not a very easy person
to get to know, Mr. Grimes.

Well...

That's the kind of
a hairpin I am.

I'm going to have a smoke.

May I have one, too, please?

Sure.

Hey!

Don't tell me you smoke?

Only when I'm bored.

Well, your mother
a bloomer girl,

You a nicotine fiend...

Are there any more
at home like you?

I have an aunt
who's an actress.

Well, that completes
the picture.

Look, I been around.

They can say an awful lot of
things about Biff Grimes,

But not that he ever gave
a cigarette to a girl.

Woman: Stop! Stop it!

Stop it!

I, uh...

I thought it was Virginia.

However, it was
a good thought.

I, uh...

I guess they must be engaged.

Why? Because she
let him kiss her?

Well, sure. Would you
let a boy kiss you

You weren't engaged to?

Well, what can you
expect from a...

Girl who smokes, whose
mother wore bloomers,

And whose aunt's on stage.

I, uh, I guess a little
kiss is harmless

If it's all in fun.

Even if it isn't in fun.

You mean...

Exactly.

Wouldn't you like
a nice young man

To marry you someday?

No, not particularly.

So you don't believe in the
institution of marriage!

An outmoded, silly convention
started by the cavemen

And encouraged by the
florists and jewelers.

After all, what's marriage?

Wouldn't you like to
have a home and kids?

Why, certainly I would,
but that doesn't mean

You have to go
through all the...

You mean...

Exactly.

Oh, Hugo!

Hugo!

What's the matter?

Come on. Let's get
out of here quick.

What's gotten into you? We're
just beginning to get acquainted.

You mean...

Exactly.

You owe me 1.25 for
your share of the rig.

I paid Baxter.

Oh.

Well, here it is.

Last time you're ever going to
stick me with a double date.

Listen, she was as
much a surprise to me

As she was to you.

Then why did you ask her
to go on a boat ride?

I didn't ask.
Virginia told us.

Look, let's have one thing
understood right now.

On the boat ride,
Virginia's my girl.

Of course. To make
up for tonight.

Yeah.

Say, let me off
at the corner.

You return the rig to
Baxter's, will you?

I've got to pick up the boat
ride tickets from the printer's.

He's working overtime.

All right.

So long. See you tomorrow.

All right. See you tomorrow.

Biff: Whoa, whoa, whoa!

This is the rig that
Hugo Barnstead hired.

Yeah. Drove her pretty
hard, didn't you?

Well, good night.

Wait a minute. 2.50, please.

Didn't he pay you?

No, he didn't.

Took my last cent.

I have an idea that
once we're underway

Your husband might
fall overboard,

And then you and me...

Ho ho ho!

734, 735,

36, 37, 38, 39, 40,

41, 42, 43...

We must find time for a nice
long talk on women's rights.

Man: 749, 750.

Sorry, folks.

No more allowed on board.

But we have tickets...

And hard-boiled eggs.

I can't help that.

The regulations say only 750
on this boat at one time,

And I just clocked off 750.

750? We sold 3,000 tickets.

That means that 2,000 of
us don't get on the boat.

All is I know is
the regulations.

Man: Come on.

Hugo!

All right. Come on.

Hugo! Barnstead!

Oh, poor Mr. Grimes!

Poor...

What about Virginia?

She's stuck with poor Mr.
Grimes.

Hugo certainly
disappeared in a hurry.

Oh, I'd probably get
seasick anyhow.

Why can't we make a day
of it anyway, Virginia?

We can sail over there
to the Statue of Liberty

And then go on up to Central
Park and see the zoo.

And then we could get a
hansom and drive around,

And then dinner in some
nice, expensive place,

And then one of those fancy
beer gardens for dancing.

And then...

We'll be pretty
tired by then.

That's my idea of a
real stylish stout.

Awfully inspiring, isn't she?

She's more than that to me.

She made me hungry as heck.

Oh, no, thanks.

I'm afraid I'll spoil
my appetite for dinner.

Woman: No, no!

No, no, no!

And she was right, too.

Well, if a man can't take
liberties here, where can he?

Are you sure you won't
have a hard-boiled egg?

No, I don't think so.

Let's go to the zoo.

Oh, it must be terrible
to be caged up that way.

Oh, well, they...
They have each other.

Huh!

Aw!

Going around scaring women!

Aw!

♪ I...

♪ Care not
for the stars that shine ♪

♪ Shine

♪ Shine

♪ I dare not hope
to e'er be thine ♪

♪ Be thine

♪ I only know

♪ I love you

♪ Love me

♪ And the world

♪ Is mine

"Love me, and the
world is mine."

A sarsaparilla for the lady.

Uh, want a little sip?

Oh, no.

I couldn't drink beer.

Oh, go ahead. I'm
broad-minded.

Now, Biff, you know what you'd
really think of me if I drank beer.

Ha ha ha!

Why, in my eyes, Virginia,

You couldn't possibly
do anything wrong.

In my eyes, you're the most
perfect lady in the whole world.

In my eyes...

Oh! Oh!

Hey, you!

Come on, Biff. Let's dance.

Hey, sit down.

Sit down before you
break something.

♪ Casey would waltz
with the strawberry blonde ♪

♪ And the band played on

♪ He'd glide cross the floor
with the girl he adored ♪

♪ And the band played on

♪ But his brain was so loaded,
it nearly exploded ♪

♪ The poor girl
would shake with alarm ♪

♪ He'd ne'er leave the girl
with the strawberry curls ♪

♪ And the band played on

♪ Biff Grimes would waltz
with the strawberry blonde ♪

♪ And the band...

Why, Biff!

Oh, I've got influence.

I didn't know you
were so well-known.

♪ ...And the band played on

♪ For his heart was so loaded,
it nearly exploded ♪

♪ As he waltzed
with her in his arms ♪

♪ He'd ne'er leave the girl
with the strawberry curls ♪

♪ And the band played on

Biff!

Fritz!

I... i hope you
enjoyed the song.

It was fine. Thanks. Thanks.

That will be $2.00, please.

What for?

Why, Mr. Grimes said
he'd pay me if I...

Well, here's...
Here's a dollar,

And there's a half a dollar

And a quarter...
That's $1.75.

And there's a nickel, a dime.

I've got to give
you 10 pennies.

Oh, that's all right.

There you are.

Oh, I'm sorry.

Biff, I think you're
a real sport.

Well, then, how about going
for a nice carriage ride

Through the park later, huh?

But, Biff, you...

That's all right. I've got a working
arrangement with the livery stable.

Well, good night, Biff,
and thanks again.

To me, Virginia, this day
will last long in my memory.

It's been a most
wonderful experience,

And if you don't mind,

I'd kind of like to remember
it as a national holiday.

That's sweet of you, Biff.

And that song... that will
always be our song, won't it?

♪ When Biff Grimes would dance
with the strawberry blonde ♪

Ha ha!

You know, we ought to do this
sort of thing more often.

Well, uh, maybe not
quite so elaborately.

Oh, yes, I'd love
to sometime.

Well, uh, what
are you doing...

What are you doing
tomorrow night?

Oh, uh, tomorrow night I have
a date with Billy Millburne.

Well, uh, Saturday night?

Saturday, I sort
of promised Hugo.

Well, uh, how about Monday?

Oh, Monday nights, I
practice the piano.

Tuesday?

Tuesday...

Oh, there's that lovely
boy from Brooklyn.

I don't mind you going out

With the boys in
the neighborhood,

But when you reach out
into the sticks...

But Jack's very Cosmopolitan.

Woman: Virginia?

Yes, mother?

It's after 10:30.

All right, mother.
I'll be right up.

Well, good night, Biff,

And thanks for a
very lovely day.

Virginia, I know you're
a very popular girl,

But I really would like
to see you sometime.

Oh, uh, let's say 3
weeks from Wednesday.

I'll be free then.

Oh, Virginia.

That time when you kissed
me when we were dancing,

Uh, was that just one
of those things or...

I mean, did it mean
anything to you,

Or was it just
one of those...

Who just goes around
kissing boys?

No, certainly not!
It was just that...

Yow!

Ha ha ha!

I'll be seeing you 3
weeks from Wednesday.

So who got hurt?

And that's what they got...
Every cent.

We happened to make a mistake
and sell too many tickets,

And I was smart enough to
cash in on the mistake,

So now I'm in business.

But what do I get
out of the mistake?

I'm tired of having
you step all over me.

What do you mean,
step all over you?

As soon as this
business gets going,

I'm going to take
care of you.

Listen, someday Hugo
Barnstead is going to be

A big man in this town,
and so is Biff Grimes.

Of course, not
as big as Hugo.

In the meantime, would you
mind paying me that 1.25

You owe me for the
rig you hired?

Yeah, sure. You got
change for a 50?

Are you kidding?

No, no. As soon as I get
one of these changed...

Hey, Joe, put more gild
in that "b," will you?

I'm busy now, Biff.
I'll see you later.

Now, wait a...

Why, hello, Biff.

Hello, Virginia.

What lovely lettering!

Is it gold?

Gild.

Ah.

Well, he's just starting out.

Uh, I may go into
the business later,

But I haven't decided yet.

How very nice for you.

Hugo... Mr. Barnstead...

Is a very enterprising
young man.

Uh-huh.

No. What?

3 weeks from Wednesday.

Well, don't you remember?

We have a date.

Oh, that's right.

I've been meaning
to tell you, Biff,

A cousin of mine arrived
unexpectedly from Scranton,

And mother says that I'll...

Oh, that means that
you can't make it?

A cousin all the
way from Scranton?

Oh, gosh, and...

I figured we could go
down to Tony Pastor's

For the vaudeville and after
that go to some swell place

Where they have good music.

Biff, you know what?

I made a date with you,
and I'm going to keep it,

Cousin or no cousin.

I'll meet you in the park.

Well, you've certainly
made me happy again,

But you will come alone?

Of course.

I wouldn't want to share
you with anybody.

Thanks, Miss Brush.
I mean, Virginia.

All right, then. 8:00, huh?

8:00 sharp.

Oh, uh, I won't bring anybody
if you don't bring anybody.

All right, Biff.

I'll look forward to seeing you.
Good-bye!

Good-bye!

Man: What you doing?

Come on. Get out of there.

Nick, you know what
this means to me.

4 more bucks, and I'll
be set for the evening.

But I'm crazy about
Virginia myself.

Why should I give
you the money?

I'll put in a good
word for you, huh?

I give you the money if
you promise me one thing.

Yeah, sure. What?

Nick, you're certainly it
when a fellow needs a friend.

Nick, you're a Daisy,

And you, too,
whoever you are.

Hello, Toby.

Got to light them all.

Everybody takes
it for granted.

If I didn't light them,
it would be dark.

That's right, Toby.

Hmm!

The freethinker.

Hello, Biff.

And all dressed up like
Astor's pet horse.

Where are the bloomers?

If you're really
interested...

Never mind!

What are you doing
here, anyway?

Oh, I got a night off from the
hot-water bottles and the bedpans.

I'm not interested.

May I sit down?

It's a free country.

I do wish you'd tie a tin can
to yourself and beat it.

I've got a date here.

I know. Virginia told me.

She did?

There you go.

Proves you can't trust any
woman, not even Virginia.

But don't you think you're going
to tag along after us, now.

Don't worry, Biff. I won't.

I'm just out for a
little fresh air, and...

And I promise I'll go
whenever you want me to.

As soon as we hear
Virginia's first footsteps,

That's when I want you to.

All right, Biff.

Nice evening.

Yes.

Mmm. Swell.

Pretty soon the
moon will be up.

Last night, it came up early.

Oh, there it is now!

Hmm. Right on time.

It's beautiful.

This time of night, things seem
still and quiet, don't they?

Soon the fall will be here.

Trees will get bare.
And then winter.

I don't like the winter.

No?

No.

I get lonesome
when winter comes.

You get lonesome?

Yes.

I know how you feel.

I get lonesome, too.

Oh, do you, Biff?

Yeah. A little.

How is it you haven't
got a date tonight?

Freethinkers have a lot
of time on their hands.

Biff...

If I ask you something,
will you tell me?

What?

You don't have to tell
me unless you want to.

What is it?

Do you love Virginia?

Now, what business
is it of yours?

I guess you do,

Otherwise, you
wouldn't be angry.

Yes, I do.

Schultz's music must
be making me soft,

Or else I wouldn't be
telling you about it.

Maybe I'm a little bit
too crazy about her,

But somehow, she's my ideal.

Every fellow has an ideal,

Somebody he cares for, and when
he cares for that somebody, why,

Nothing else matters.

It's like... Well, it's
like an ingrown pain.

It starts in the pit
of your stomach

And works on up to your neck.

Well, that's the way I
feel about Virginia.

I see, Biff.

Biff, I saw Virginia
this afternoon,

And she...

There she is now. Go on, beat it.
Will you beat it?

Nick: Ah, hello, there.
Hello, Amy.

Amy: Hello.

I thought maybe
you left already.

This is Josephine Miller.
You know, uh...

Hello.

Say hello to Mister Grimes.

Hee hee hee!

Hee hee hee! That's about
all you can get from her.

Biff, I got a date with
this giggler tonight.

Josephine: Hee hee hee!

I could use that 4 bucks.

You know I've got
a date myself.

No, you don't got.

Hee hee hee!

What are you talking about?

Hee hee hee!

That tells the whole story.

What story?

Biff, you take it
like I took it.

You know...

At 4:00 this afternoon, Virginia
married Hugo Barnstead.

What?

I shaved him for
the ceremony.

What stopped me from
to cut his throat?

Well, it's no surprise to me.

They left already
for Niagara Falls.

Hugo took a lower sleeper.

No surprise to you?

You mooched 4 bucks from me for a
date with Virginia, didn't you?

Oh, no. Not with Virginia.

I had a date with Amy.

You said Virginia.

No, no. I said Amy.

You had soap in your ears.

What do you suppose she's
all dressed up for?

Why, yes. Biff and I
have a steady date

Every Wednesday night.

Every Wednesday night?

Then what for all the
time in the barbershop

You always say she got
belfries in the bats?

Oh, no, not Amy. Virginia.

Nick, I knew all the time
about Virginia and Hugo.

As a matter of fact, I
helped pull it off.

Virginia's a nice girl,
yes, but not for me.

Nick, if I wanted Virginia,

Do you suppose I'd let
Hugo get away with it?

You know me, Nick.

I take nothing from nobody.

Biff, if we don't hurry, why,
we'll be late for the show.

Well, then, I don't suppose
there's any chance

To get the 4 bucks
back now, huh?

Well, Nick, you see
the situation.

Well, Amy's a nicer
girl than Virginia.

How would you like to
have two more bucks?

All right, Nick. Thanks.

Josephine: Hee hee hee!

It's all right.

In Greece, they got
plenty words for you.

Hee hee hee!

Well, nice to have met you.

Other woman: Hee hee hee!

Sisters! Good night.

When he climbs into that sleeper,
I hope he breaks both his legs.

Oh, Biff, that's not nice.

I bet you knew about
it all the time, too.

I tried to tell you.

What did you come here for?
To laugh at me?

Oh, Biff.

You were right, Amy.

About what?

You were absolutely right.

About what?

You hit the nail
right on the head.

Marriage is a lot
of malarkey.

You meet a girl, you
treat her nicely,

Behave respectably, and watch your
language, and what does she do?

Runs off and marries
another guy.

You were right.
What is marriage?

Fellow meets a girl, and
they like each other,

And why shouldn't they...

You mean...

Yes. Call a spade a spade.

A spade a spade!

Now, I like you, and...

You like me a
little, don't you?

Oh, yes, I do, Biff, but...

Well, then, why not?

Let me go.

Let me go!

Let me go!

Well, what is this?
What's the idea?

I've never been so
insulted in my life.

Well, then, what was all
the fancy talk about?

A girl has a right
to talk, hasn't she?

But you said your mother was
an original bloomer girl.

Oh, no, she wasn't.

I bet your aunt wasn't
even on the stage.

She was so... In
the church play!

I bet you're all
all-around fake.

Bet you never even
smoked a cigarette.

I put them in my mouth
sometimes, but I never lit them.

I knew it, I knew
it, I knew it!

100% all-around fake.

Oh, stop crying, will you?

An empty barrel makes
the most noise.

Now, stop crying...

Oh... Amy.

Amy, don't cry.

Will you turn off
the waterworks?

Ha ha! Never even
smoked a cigarette.

Well, now I'll tell
you something.

I never inhale myself.

What do you think of that?
Hmm?

You know, I want to thank you

For the way you helped me
out when Nick was here,

Saying we had a date
and everything.

That's all right.

Must be payday. Schultz's
band is in tune.

You know, Amy, I think
you're a very nice kid.

Really a very nice kid.

Amy, if I ask you
something, you won't mind?

No.

Sure you won't mind?

Well, I... I don't think so.

Can I be your steady?

Ohh.

Do you want to?

Yes.

Ohh.

All right.

Then I can call on you?
I mean, at your house?

Oh. Well, Biff, I...

I'd like for you to,
but, you see...

Oh, I know, I know.
My reputation.

Oh, no. It's not yours.

It's... It's your father's.

Well... Well, then,
I can meet you here

A couple of nights a
week and take you out.

Yes.

But not tonight, though, huh?

I really don't feel like it.

Oh, I understand, Biff.

But I can walk you home.

Thank you.

Well, then it's
understood, huh?

I mean, we've got
an understanding?

Yes.

But no more of this smoking
business, lit or no lit.

All right.

And no more of this bloomer
and free everything stuff.

I won't stand for
any of that.

No more.

That's the way
I'm constituted.

Ohh.

Biff...

Would you like to kiss me?

I hope he stands too close to
the falls, gets his feet wet,

And catches a good cold.

That's what I hope.

These look kind of
rough to you, Amy?

For a guy who's going
to graduate in a month,

Not such a good job, huh?

Oh, I think it's cute.

It looks kind of tigerish.

Maybe I can get the
dental rights at the zoo.

Pop knows a couple
of Tammany men.

Oh, as soon as I get my
first paying client,

I'm going to quit
that milk route.

Those hours.

I wish you'd do it now.

Delivering milk all night
and studying all afternoon.

Oh, it's only another month.

You know what we
ought to do tonight?

Hmm?

We really ought to go to
some swell place for dinner.

Yeah? Why?

Well, it's a kind
of anniversary.

A year and a half
ago, we were married.

What do you know about that?

I bet you wouldn't
have remembered.

Oh, Biff Grimes is too busy to
be bothered with fractions.

How about a kiss
and a half anyway?

In about 20 minutes,
when I'm through here.

You don't have to
come over here.

I'll come over there to you.

All right, then.

Oh! Ha ha ha!

Come in.

Hello, Nick.

Whew! What a day.

Why not you don't
have a telephone?

Next month, we'll have
every modern convenience.

Won't have to go
outside for a thing.

Won't you sit down, Nick?

Got no time. Biff,
your old man

Is in a fight down
in Big Joe's saloon.

I think you better
go down there.

Who you think?

I'll get my hat.

Is no reason for you
to get into one.

You know me.

Anniversary.

Man: Stay out of here, and
don't come back anymore!

Why...

Well, it's me teeth responsible
for me troublesome disposition.

Come on.

I should say you have.

You were out for
almost an hour.

Why do you have to
pick on 3 of them?

A paltry 3.

Biff, me boy, at Gettysburg,

Your father, who never
took nothing from nobody,

Took on a whole battalion.

Of course, I didn't
do well there, too,

But that was when me teeth
first started bothering me.

I think I better take
you over to my place.

No. Son, you know the
kind of a man I am.

Take me to Mrs. Mulcahey's.

Her husband's
working overtime.

Virginia: Oh, Biff!

Oh.

Spruce up, pop.
It's Virginia.

Oh.

Biff Grimes, after
all these years!

Hello, Virginia. Gosh,
you look wonderful!

Oh, Biff.

But you! Is that another
black eye or the same one?

Oh, no. It's a fresh one.

Biff, you're incorrigible.

I guess so.

Well, what are you
doing around here?

Oh, I don't forget my old
neighborhood and my old friends

Just because Hugo's
doing so well.

By the way, where's Amy?
What's happened to her?

Oh, nothing much.
She married me.

Oh.

Only after I turned her down.

Oh, excuse me. This is my dad.
Mrs. Barnstead.

I'm very happy to know you, Mr.
Grimes.

I would so like to see
you and Amy again.

I'm sure Hugo would, too.

What about tonight?

Oh, I'm so sorry, but I
can't make it tonight.

Those dull dinners
the mayor gives.

But tomorrow night, why don't you
and Amy have dinner with us?

I don't know...

It'll be lots of fun.

There's a new dish the Italian
immigrants just brought over.

Spag... Spaghetti, I
think it's called.

We have a new chef
who makes it.

Please, Biff.

Wonderful! 8:00 sharp, then.

18 Gramercy Park South.

Now, can I drop
you someplace?

Oh, no, thanks. I'm taking
the uptown trolley.

I only live a few
blocks from here.

Ha ha! Step in, Mr. Grimes.

Thank you kindly.

Give my love to Amy.
Till tomorrow night.

Bye.

Biff hasn't got a
brain in his head.

I haven't any room for
him in my organization.

You needn't sound
so important.

Besides, you owe
Biff something.

Yeah? What makes
you so interested

In Biff all of a sudden?

Amy was one of my
best girlfriends,

And obviously they're
not doing so well.

Yes. Obviously Biff is
still nice-looking.

Oh, you make me tired.

Why don't you pick your
mind up out of the gutter?

Why should I? You
helped put it there.

Honey, why can't you be
nice to me once in a while?

Oh, I often think about it.

Then I remember we're
married, so why bother?

You're so clever, Hugo.

You could find some use
for Biff if you tried.

Well, all right. I'll try.

Say, I've got just the spot for a
guy who ain't none too bright.

What?

Vice president.

Thanks, dear.

Hugo: There's only
one chandelier

Like that in this town,
and that one's it!

Ha ha ha!

Cost me a small fortune, too.

And these chairs, they were
ordered for a millionaire,

But I offered the firm more,

So now you're
sitting in them.

Ha ha ha!

These are all hand paintings
by an Italian master.

Uh... Giovanni
Boccigaloop Califano.

He's quite a
fellow over there.

By the way, when we were in
London, we heard Caruso.

He's got a mighty
fine voice...

That is, if you can
understand the language.

Ha ha ha!

I just can't get over
that electric light.

Isn't it dangerous?

Not if you pay the bills.
Ha ha ha!

Well, my father and
his father before him

Got along all right
with gaslight.

Yeah.

Virginia, I think that's

The most beautiful
dress I've ever seen.

They do have lovely
things in Paris.

I wanted to buy
every dress there.

Why, I thought you did, dear.

Your dress is
beautiful, too, dear.

Oh, don't you recognize it?

I made it over from
that old blue one

You used to like so much.

Oh, I do wish I could
make my own clothes.

Well, next Saturday, you go
down to Seagle and Coopers

And get the best
dress they have.

That'll be nice.

Get 2 or 3.

Yes, dear.

Anything the French can
do, we can do better.

I know I must sound awful

Saying everything
is so wonderful,

But I've never tasted
such delicious soup.

What is it?

Well, that was silly. We should
have gone down there to eat it.

Ha ha ha!

Ah, this must be
the spaghetti.

Spaghetti ala Giuseppe.

Well, what...

Where did I get the idea
it would look like steak?

You've got to hand it to these
Italians when it comes to cooking.

Oh, I don't know about that.

Anything they can cook,
we can cook better.

I don't know what's
gotten into him.

He never cared one way or
the other about foreigners.

Now, everybody, when you
get your spaghetti,

You take your fork and spoon

And mix the stuff up plenty

So that the sauce goes
all the way through it.

Ahem.

Ahem. Oh, yes, dear.

Well, Biff, my boy, this is not
entirely a social visit, you know.

After all, when a man
has risen suddenly and,

If I may say so, spectacularly
to business prominence...

Before he tells you the
story of his life,

I'd better break
the news to you.

Hugo told me tonight...

Biff, he wants to take you
into the firm with him.

What? Are you serious?

Well, after all, we
grew up together.

I promised you once I'd
take care of you, didn't I?

I'm not the sort of a man
who forgets his friends.

Now, as to the spaghetti,

You wind it around your fork and
press it against your spoon.

Well, uh... Hugo, I
don't know what to say.

I've been studying to be a
dentist all these years, and...

All those letters I've read.

Where are you going
to get pulling teeth?

Listen, I've got a
couple of firms.

I plan to make you an
executive of one of them.

An executive!

Hugo, I'm not getting
anyplace with this spaghetti!

Well, maybe it's the
other way around.

Maybe you wrap it
around your spoon

And press it
against your fork.

At first, it wouldn't pay any
more than you're making now,

But after 6 months when you've
caught on to the business...

Oop!

Virginia: It's
all right, dear.

I've got a lapful.

Hugo, I don't know
how to thank you.

All I can say is I'll try.

Whoop!

It's alive!

Look, dear, why don't
we confess to Giuseppe

That we don't know
how to eat spaghetti

And ask him how?

You know what a snob Giuseppe is.
He'll quit!

Well, maybe if we show it
we're not afraid of it

And look it right
in the eye...

Oh, come on now, everybody.

It's really very simple.

You just wrap your
spoon around your fork

And make sure there
are no loose ends.

Now, come on. Let's try.

It's nothing.

It's really, uh...

Uh...

Oh!

Hey, what...

You never can trust these
newfangled contraptions.

What do you suppose
it is, Biff?

Ah, must be a fuse.

Yeah, well, I got
some matches.

I'll light some
candles or something.

Hey, Jenkins, get
me some matches.

Got some over here.

Oh, I told tom Edison
it would never work.

Virginia: Can I help you?

I had some matches
around here.

I don't know where
I put them.

I'm sorry this had to happen.

Oh, we had a lovely
time anyway.

Well, I certainly enjoyed

The ham and eggs you
made, Virginia.

Well, see you at the
office tomorrow.

Hugo, I can hardly
believe it.

Thanks again.

Yes. Ha ha!

Ha!

Oh, uh... Ha ha!

Must have crawled
into my pocket.

Yes, they certainly do
get around, don't they?

I'm afraid to look
under my collar.

Well, good night, Amy.
Good night, Biff.

Good night, Hugo.

Virginia: Good night, Biff.

Good night, Virginia.

Good night.

I can't get over it.

This morning, I
was a milkman.

Next month, I was going
to be a dentist,

And tomorrow, I'm
an executive.

And in a little while,

You bet. When we get to London,
we'll hear Caruso sing.

If he can sing for them,
he can sing for us.

You know, that was
very romantic

The way you threw your arms
around my neck and kissed me.

Me? When?

When the lights went out.

That wasn't me, Biff.

It wasn't?

Well, it wasn't Giuseppe.

I don't like these.

Get me a new set.

Is that contract on my desk?

Yes, sir.

Oh, uh... Mr. Reed, have the
afternoon papers come in yet?

Not yet, Mr. Grimes.

Well, I... I guess I'll have to
read this one all over again.

Ah. Sign these,
will you, Biff?

What's in them?

Oh, nothing important.
Just specifications.

Oh, Hugo, for the
past 6 months,

All I've done is sign
papers I don't understand.

I'm supposed to
be an executive,

Look at my desk. Not
even a letter on it.

All right. I'll have Mr. Reed put
fresh letters on it every morning.

I've got to get something
more to do, Hugo.

I'm going crazy.

What are you
complaining about?

You've got a nice office.

You're learning the business.

Pretty soon now,
you'll be able

To understand what
you're signing.

In the meantime, I've got to run
over to the club for lunch.

I'll have some more papers for
you to sign this afternoon.

Do you mind if,

I run down to pop's job
and watch him work?

Not at all, not at all.
That's a good idea.

Ha ha ha!

Oh, Mr. Barnstead.

Give us that hammer.

Scamper up above there and see if
them timbers are up there, will you?

Hello, Pop.

Biffy, see that Mrs. Mulcahey

And the others

Don't take it too hard.

Oh, what kind of talk
is this out of you?

You're not dying.

The heck I ain't.

Say, the boys in
the barbershop

Are laying 3-1 you
pull through.

I'd take it.

Oh, you know how it
is with us, Pop.

We don't take nothing
from nobody,

Especially a brick wall.

Biff, it's very funny.

My teeth don't hurt anymore.

Well, maybe it's kind of
lonesome in here for you.

We might have you moved
over to the women's ward.

A man with your influence
in Tammany, you know?

Look here, Treadway.
You're our attorney.

What can I do? The building
department check-up shows that

Inferior materials were used in
direct violation of the law.

D.A.'s acting on it now.

Well, I didn't know what was
in those specifications.

Hugo just brought them in,
and I just signed them.

Well, I didn't know what
was in them either.

What do I know
about such things?

All I knew, it was a
few cents cheaper.

Of course, your skirts
are clean, Barnstead.

Technically, you're not an
officer in this corporation.

They can't do a thing to you.

Huh. Is that so?

Now, just a minute.

Does that mean that I'm
left holding the bag again?

Oh, no, no, no, Biff.

There's always a way
out of these things.

We'll do everything we can.
Won't we, Treadway?

I'm afraid there's
very little we can do.

Only a few months
till election.

The D.A.'s got to
get convictions.

Just a minute.

All my life, you've
been stepping on me,

And I've been taking it.

Biff, do you think I wanted
that wall to cave in?

Do you think I
planned it that way?

Why, I'm just as broken
up about this as you are.

I don't know what you wanted.
All I know is...

Man: Grimes in?

Got a warrant from
the D.A.'s office.

Biff knows us. Just tell
him Matt and Charlie.

Reed: I'm afraid he isn't in.

I'm afraid he is.

We'll take a look around.

Amy?

Amy?

Amy?

You're going to come along quietly.
Aren't you, Biff?

Hello, Matt. Hello, Charlie.

Biff, you ran away
from us at the office.

Please don't try it again.

What do you want?

I'm sorry. We got
to arrest you.

Oh, no, you don't. I had
nothing to do with that,

And you're not going to
hold me responsible for it.

If you want me, you
try and take me.

Oh, come on, Biff.

Well...

Well, it's, uh...
Very nice of you

To come up here, Matt,

And I certainly
appreciate it.

Hello, Amy.

And I'd be very happy to accept
your offer as long as you...

What's the matter?

Why, nothing's the matter.
Nothing.

I was just telling
Charlie here that...

Oh, you know Charlie
Brown and Matt Hughes.

Hello.

You see, the police department
is holding a clambake,

That is, it's
giving a clambake

Down at Coney Island
next Wednesday.

Or is it Thursday?

And they've asked me to
act on the committee,

And I was just
telling them that...

Oh, that's awfully nice.

Yeah, isn't it?

Well, do you boys want
me to go down there now

And start making
the arrangements?

Yes. That might
be a good thing.

All right.

Uh... I'll be back in
a little while, Amy.

All right, Biff.

You'll wait for me?

I'll wait.

Biff!

Biff!

Aah! Aah!

Aah!

Aah!

Grimes, you're wonderful.

I've always been mortally
afraid of that drilling,

But under your hands, I
didn't feel a thing.

Thank you, warden.

Well, I'm expecting my
diploma almost any day now.

Open a little wider, please.

You know, a man of your ability
doesn't belong in prison.

I think I'll speak to the
governor about a pardon.

Would you?

Yeah. Makes quite a nice
little hole, doesn't it?

Ha ha!

Hey, what the...

Why, you fool! You idiot!

No wonder I didn't
feel anything.

You drilled right
through my bridge!

Remember, Warden,
I'm only a student.

Get out of here, you.
Get back to your cell!

That bridge cost me $100!

This isn't going to spoil
it for the pardon, is it?

Pardon? I'm going to put you
in solitary confinement!

Throw him into the dungeon!

Well, if you need me, warden,
you know where to find me.

Why, you...

You think Biff like the idea

You move back to the
old neighborhood?

He didn't say.

He never said very
much in his letters.

It's a funny thing
why he don't want

Nobody should meet
him to the train.

I can understand.

He'll have to
pass by this way.

I'd rather meet him here.

Well, I go.

Two's company.
Three is too much.

Tell Biff I give him his
first haircut and shave

For nothing, free.

I will, Nick. Thanks.

But for the shampoo,
he have to pay.

Ha ha ha!

Hello, Amy.

Biff.

Yep. It's me.

I, uh...

I was going right
over to the house.

I didn't want anybody to come

To the station to meet me.

I know.

You know...

I knew you'd be here.

I don't know how.
I just knew it.

I got out at 12:00.

The warden was a grand guy.

Shook hands with me and
wished me all kinds of luck.

Amy, are you glad to see me?

You know I am, Biff.

Good to see you, and
good to be back.

5 years.

Seems more like 10.

Oh...

Biff.

Amy, I want to thank you...

For all your goodness
and kindness.

Amy, you all right?

I'm all right.

It's just...

Seeing you again.

I learned an awful lot
while I was away.

You know, Amy, there's an
awful lot of good in people

If you just look for it.

Trouble is, we
don't look for it.

We just go through
life saying,

"I'm all right, and the
other fellow is all wrong."

I know, Biff.

Of course you know.
You've always known.

Schultz?

What is that they're playing?

Something new, isn't it?

Let the rest of
the world go by.

Let the rest of
the world go by.

We'll have to let this
neighborhood go by, Amy.

All right with you?

Wherever you go,
I'll go, Biff.

Something worthwhile is going
to happen for Biff Grimes.

Biff Grimes is going
to be Biff Grimes.

I know it.

Nothing going to be too good
for him and his family.

Nothing.

Amy, I love you.

I think you're the loveliest
lady in the whole world.

I love your hair,
your eyes...

I love you, too, Biff.

Biff, the door. He's here.

Show him in, Nick.
I'll take care of him.

Now, Biff, keep your temper.

Hugo's an alderman,
a big man.

Has money, position,
everything, and look at me.

Look at me.

Show him in, Nick.

Hugo: Why do these things have to
happen to me on Sunday of all days?

Virginia: Will you stop
whining down my neck?

If it isn't one thing
with you, it's another.

Now, listen, Virgie,
you can talk to me

In our own home any
way you want to,

But when we're in
a stranger's...

Aw, shut up!

Biff Grimes?

Hello, Hugo.

I did.

You mean you let me come
in here deliberately?

I have to have some excitement
in my life, don't I?

Hello, Biff.

Say, don't nobody say hello
to me, Nick pappalas?

Remember, you used to
walk past my barbershop.

Remember, you used to walk past my barbershop.
I'm one of the boys who whistled.

I'm one of the
boys who whistled.

And today, after 8 years
with this specimen,

I'd have to do the whistling.

I used to walk
blocks out of my way

Just to pass the barbershop

To give the boys a
chance to whistle.

But you never whistled,
did you, Biff?

No. I had too much
respect for you.

Sure. Any other
girl pass by...

He whistled right
with the rest of us.

Remember our first
date in the park?

You and Hugo couldn't
stop the horse.

It's a funny thing. My
toothache's all gone.

There's no pain at all.
Ha ha!

Good-bye, Biff. It's nice
to have seen you again.

Come, dear. We must get back.

Get into that chair. Your
tooth hurts, and you know it.

Listen, I ought to know whether
my tooth hurts or not.

I'm not going to
have you whimpering

Like a sick puppy all night.

Excuse me a second.
I'll get my jacket.

Uh, take your time, Biff.

There's no hurry.

Still married to Amy, Biff?

Yep.

So, she stuck to you.

Sure she did.

Good for her.

Well, look at me.
I stuck to Hugo.

Mother, mother, mother,
pin a rose on me.

You still look in
pretty good shape.

Look at the wreck of the
hesperus I married.

Do you think it's
only his teeth?

He's only got one kidney,

And his liver's
on its last legs.

Every doctor in town knows
him better than I do.

And in the bargain,
he's a hypochondriac.

Sits up all night thinking
up new diseases to catch.

Well, I'm not a well man.

This isn't going to
hurt, is it, Biff?

I can't guarantee anything.

Yeah? Well, I think it would
be best if I took gas.

Just as you like, Hugo.

You know, Biff, I
meant to go up there

To see you, to sort
of explain things.

Nothing for you to explain.

Well, I didn't do
anything wrong.

I mean, my
conscience is clear,

But if an apology
would fix...

Look, Hugo, why don't you
just forget the whole thing?

You mean, there's
no hard feelings?

Not anymore. Not a bit of it.

You really mean that?

Mm-hmm.

Well, say, that's awful
big of you, Biff.

Look, Hugo, before I
give you the gas,

Which tooth is it?

There. That one right there.

Uh, a little wider, huh?

Agh.

Aah! Aah! Aah!

Ha ha ha!

Aah! Aah! Aah!

Hee hee hee!

Aah! Aah!

Ohh! Ohh!

Ohh! Ohh!

What's the idea?
I wanted gas!

I haven't got anything
against you anymore, Hugo,

But I wouldn't be quite human if
I didn't take a little revenge.

Ohh! Ohh! Ohh!

How much do I owe you?

You don't owe me anything.

What's that?

You don't owe me anything.

Ohh! I don't understand.

He doesn't understand.

Ohh!

Well, good-bye, Biff.

I'd like to stay and see Amy,

But I wouldn't like
her to see us.

Nick, tell the boys I'm not the
Virginia Brush they whistled at.

I still don't understand.

You don't understand.
Well, when we get home,

I'll explain the whole
thing to you with blocks.

Oh, when are you going
to stop heckling?

When you stop breathing!

Hugo: For heaven's
sakes, I never...

Ha ha! Did he holler!

I didn't dare give
him gas, Nick.

The temptation was too great.

You sure let him off easy.

I was the one who
got off easy.

Huh?

Ah, funny thing, Nick.

What?

Me and Hugo.

All my life, he's been
stepping all over me.

I'm the dope, he's
the wise guy.

He has everything,
I have nothing.

I just realized it.

I'm a happy man. He's not.

Whew!

Exactly. Whew!

You remember what we
learned in Sunday School?

That vengeance is
mine, saith the lord.

You think he takes a
personal interest in Hugo?

I don't know who is doing
it, but whoever it is

Is doing a very good job,

Better than I could do.

Yeah. I'd better go home now.

Congranulations, Biff.

Thanks, Nick.

You know, if I
married Virginia,

She would turn
out difference.

Really?

Ha ha ha!

Amy: Oh, Nick, you going?

Yes, I go home now.

Come back soon.

Thank you very much.

Good-bye.

Good-bye.

Did I hear a patient?

Mm-hmm. A quick one.

From the yell I heard, I don't
think he'll be coming back.

I don't think so either.

You ready to go out?

Yep.

Get your hat.

Amy...

What's the matter, Biff?

You know, I think
you're very sweet

And very beautiful,

And I love you very much.

Oh, Biff, do you
feel all right?

I feel wonderful, and I
haven't had a drink,

But I haven't told you
this often enough.

Do you know what
you mean to me?

That's not the
band played on.

No, it isn't.

What do they want
to do that for?

I love that song.

I'll bet those college
boobs made him change it.

You go get my hat, and I'll
be out in front in a minute.

Now, Biff!

Now, just one minute.

Hey, you! The band played on!

What's the matter now?

I want the band played on.

Oh, you do? Well,
we're tired of it.

I want to tell you something.

I'm awful tired of you.

Oh. Tired of all of us?

Every single one of you.

Let's see, what was
I telling you?

Oh, Amy.

Look at you!

What, you mean this?
Oh, that's nothing.

You ought to see
the other fellow.

Listen.

Biff.

Now, let me see...

What was I starting
to tell you?

I got something to tell you.

Hmm?

You mean...

Exactly.

Oh, Hugo!

Hugo!

Biff, right out
here on the street!

When I want to kiss my wife,

I'll kiss her anytime,
anyplace, anywhere.

That's the kind of
a hairpin I am.