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1
00:00:03,754 --> 00:00:04,588
[ Exhales sharply ]
2
00:00:04,588 --> 00:00:06,215
Wow.
3
00:00:06,215 --> 00:00:08,467
The pandemic,
the presidential election,
4
00:00:08,467 --> 00:00:10,511
and Halloween
all happening at once.
5
00:00:10,511 --> 00:00:13,013
Throw in five dumb teenagers
in a cabin
6
00:00:13,013 --> 00:00:15,599
and you got yourself
a horror movie.
7
00:00:15,599 --> 00:00:17,559
"The voting booth
isn't working.
8
00:00:17,559 --> 00:00:20,562
I'll just go outside alone
in the dark to fix it.
9
00:00:20,562 --> 00:00:22,397
Aaaaah!"
10
00:00:22,397 --> 00:00:25,734
Mesdames et monsieur,
your attention, please.
11
00:00:25,734 --> 00:00:29,905
It's 2020, so get ready
to trick‐or‐treat in style.
12
00:00:29,905 --> 00:00:32,282
COVID style.
13
00:00:32,282 --> 00:00:33,867
Ohh!
14
00:00:33,867 --> 00:00:36,912
Wow.
"Cursed nurse."
15
00:00:36,912 --> 00:00:39,581
Is that because you're underpaid
and stuck in a box?
16
00:00:39,581 --> 00:00:42,209
No. She's a cursed nurse
because her mother told her
17
00:00:42,209 --> 00:00:44,378
she could never be a doctor,
so she became a nurse.
18
00:00:44,378 --> 00:00:45,921
And then she killed
her mother.
19
00:00:45,921 --> 00:00:47,214
And now she wanders
the Earth
20
00:00:47,214 --> 00:00:48,799
punishing mothers
who never thought
21
00:00:48,799 --> 00:00:51,301
their daughters could
successfully run a restaurant.
22
00:00:53,553 --> 00:00:56,181
Mm!
Ohhh!
23
00:00:56,181 --> 00:00:57,808
Mark's a gumball machine.
24
00:00:57,808 --> 00:00:59,726
I didn't know how to make that
about my mom.
25
00:00:59,726 --> 00:01:02,896
Well,
but it does promote gum.
26
00:01:02,896 --> 00:01:04,273
That's perfect
for all those kids
27
00:01:04,273 --> 00:01:05,691
with questionable diets
28
00:01:05,691 --> 00:01:07,818
that just need
that little push
29
00:01:07,818 --> 00:01:09,903
to get across
the diabetic finish line.
30
00:01:10,904 --> 00:01:12,614
Well,
I love the costumes.
31
00:01:12,614 --> 00:01:15,200
Unfortunately,
the mayor just canceled
32
00:01:15,200 --> 00:01:17,119
trick‐or‐treating in Lanford
this year.
33
00:01:17,119 --> 00:01:18,078
‐Aw!
‐Oh, no!
34
00:01:18,078 --> 00:01:19,329
Yeah,
it's the same clown
35
00:01:19,329 --> 00:01:20,914
that banned drinking
in the park.
36
00:01:20,914 --> 00:01:23,542
Why else
would you go to a park?
37
00:01:23,542 --> 00:01:25,002
I'm sorry.
38
00:01:25,002 --> 00:01:27,337
We'll double up on
trick‐or‐treating next year.
39
00:01:27,337 --> 00:01:29,381
It's fine by me.
40
00:01:29,381 --> 00:01:31,425
I know this costume protects me
from COVID,
41
00:01:31,425 --> 00:01:35,887
but seriously, this thing
has no air holes.
42
00:01:35,887 --> 00:01:37,180
I don't care
about COVID.
43
00:01:37,180 --> 00:01:39,349
I really wanted
to do Halloween.
44
00:01:39,349 --> 00:01:41,435
Now I don't have anything else
to look forward to!
45
00:01:44,730 --> 00:01:46,231
What happened there?
46
00:01:46,231 --> 00:01:48,275
The mayor
canceled Halloween.
47
00:01:48,275 --> 00:01:49,985
Oh, that sucks.
48
00:01:49,985 --> 00:01:52,362
You think Mary's okay?
49
00:01:52,362 --> 00:01:53,655
Hard to tell.
50
00:01:53,655 --> 00:01:55,866
I'm used to my kids being upset
and disappointed,
51
00:01:55,866 --> 00:01:57,993
but it's rough when you see it
in a well‐adjusted kid.
52
00:01:58,994 --> 00:02:00,454
Hey,
I can't blame her.
53
00:02:00,454 --> 00:02:01,747
When you're a kid,
trick‐or‐treating's
54
00:02:01,747 --> 00:02:03,248
the best day of the year.
55
00:02:03,248 --> 00:02:05,751
We used to have so much fun
looking all raggedy,
56
00:02:05,751 --> 00:02:09,838
going to the rich kids'
neighborhood for pity candy.
57
00:02:09,838 --> 00:02:11,965
Remember that stuck‐up family
that put out that bowl
58
00:02:11,965 --> 00:02:15,469
that said, "Only one candy
per person, please"?
59
00:02:15,469 --> 00:02:17,304
Oh, yeah.
60
00:02:17,304 --> 00:02:18,847
I‐I think I still have
that bowl.
61
00:02:18,847 --> 00:02:20,557
[ Chuckles ]
62
00:02:20,557 --> 00:02:22,768
You know what? We have
a few minutes before work.
63
00:02:22,768 --> 00:02:23,810
I'm gonna go check in
on Mary.
64
00:02:26,480 --> 00:02:27,773
Hey, gumball!
65
00:02:27,773 --> 00:02:29,024
I forgot to ask you ‐‐
66
00:02:29,024 --> 00:02:30,692
how's it feel to be back
in school?
67
00:02:30,692 --> 00:02:32,486
Um, it's only a couple days
a week,
68
00:02:32,486 --> 00:02:34,196
but it still sucks.
69
00:02:34,196 --> 00:02:37,574
At soccer practice,
we take turns kicking a ball.
70
00:02:37,574 --> 00:02:39,326
One kid kicks it,
then they wipe it down,
71
00:02:39,326 --> 00:02:41,662
and then they give it
to the next kid.
72
00:02:41,662 --> 00:02:43,372
How's everybody at school
dealing with
73
00:02:43,372 --> 00:02:45,123
social distancing
and the masks?
74
00:02:45,123 --> 00:02:47,584
Good.
While we're in class.
75
00:02:47,584 --> 00:02:50,253
But the minute we're outside,
people get stupid.
76
00:02:50,253 --> 00:02:52,381
Yesterday,
I was walking home
77
00:02:52,381 --> 00:02:54,591
and this kid I hang out with
sometimes, Colin,
78
00:02:54,591 --> 00:02:55,801
was with some other kids
79
00:02:55,801 --> 00:02:57,219
and he started
hassling me.
80
00:02:57,219 --> 00:02:59,346
He told me
to take off my mask.
81
00:02:59,346 --> 00:03:00,972
I said no, and he said,
82
00:03:00,972 --> 00:03:02,808
"What are you afraid of,
Pelosi?"
83
00:03:02,808 --> 00:03:04,142
[ Scoffs ]
84
00:03:04,142 --> 00:03:07,562
Smart kid.
He knows about the Senate.
85
00:03:07,562 --> 00:03:10,273
She's the Speaker of the House,
but, yeah.
86
00:03:12,734 --> 00:03:15,112
Then Colin said his dad said
wearing a mask
87
00:03:15,112 --> 00:03:17,989
is just a way to scare people
into staying home,
88
00:03:17,989 --> 00:03:19,825
and that could cost him
his job.
89
00:03:19,825 --> 00:03:21,618
What'd you say?
90
00:03:21,618 --> 00:03:22,744
Nothing.
91
00:03:22,744 --> 00:03:23,745
I just kept walking.
92
00:03:23,745 --> 00:03:25,247
Okay.
93
00:03:25,247 --> 00:03:26,915
Good for you.
94
00:03:26,915 --> 00:03:28,375
I guess.
95
00:03:28,375 --> 00:03:31,962
I mean, I‐I wanted to say,
"I'm not afraid.
96
00:03:31,962 --> 00:03:33,922
I'm wearing the mask
to keep other people
97
00:03:33,922 --> 00:03:36,425
from getting sick,
including you."
98
00:03:36,425 --> 00:03:40,554
But Mom said
that I should just ignore them.
99
00:03:40,554 --> 00:03:43,432
Okay,
that's...one way to go,
100
00:03:43,432 --> 00:03:46,685
but you got a right to say
what you want, too.
101
00:03:46,685 --> 00:03:49,646
I mean, even if Colin
doesn't get it,
102
00:03:49,646 --> 00:03:51,982
you may change
somebody else's mind.
103
00:03:51,982 --> 00:03:55,193
Yeah. I felt really weird
not saying anything.
104
00:03:55,193 --> 00:03:56,528
I'm gonna do that.
105
00:03:56,528 --> 00:03:58,488
Did Mary
come back through here?
106
00:03:58,488 --> 00:03:59,614
No, why?
107
00:03:59,614 --> 00:04:01,491
She's not upstairs.
I couldn't find her.
108
00:04:01,491 --> 00:04:03,326
Alright, alright.
We'll spread out.
109
00:04:03,326 --> 00:04:04,953
She's got to be here
somewhere.
110
00:04:04,953 --> 00:04:06,329
What,
you can't find Mary?
111
00:04:06,329 --> 00:04:07,706
No.
112
00:04:07,706 --> 00:04:10,083
And D. J.'s gonna be mad
if we lose her.
113
00:04:10,083 --> 00:04:11,501
When you've only got
one kid,
114
00:04:11,501 --> 00:04:13,712
you get super attached
to them.
115
00:04:13,712 --> 00:04:15,964
But you have three kids.
Weren't you attached to ‐‐
116
00:04:15,964 --> 00:04:17,966
We had one favorite
and two backups.
117
00:04:17,966 --> 00:04:19,009
You kids figure it out.
118
00:04:57,839 --> 00:05:02,761
♪♪
119
00:05:04,429 --> 00:05:06,431
Hey.
120
00:05:06,431 --> 00:05:08,433
How did you know
where I was?
121
00:05:08,433 --> 00:05:11,478
Oh, I used to come up here
all the time when I was mad.
122
00:05:11,478 --> 00:05:12,813
What were you mad about?
123
00:05:12,813 --> 00:05:15,106
Living here.
124
00:05:15,106 --> 00:05:17,025
But you're still
living here.
125
00:05:17,025 --> 00:05:20,153
Yep. Still mad.
126
00:05:20,153 --> 00:05:21,696
You're bummed about Halloween,
right?
127
00:05:21,696 --> 00:05:23,782
Yeah.
128
00:05:23,782 --> 00:05:25,909
Oh, don't worry.
129
00:05:25,909 --> 00:05:28,662
Your dad'll come up with
something fun for you to do.
130
00:05:28,662 --> 00:05:29,913
No, he won't.
131
00:05:29,913 --> 00:05:31,456
He works all the time.
132
00:05:31,456 --> 00:05:33,291
I'm alone a lot.
133
00:05:33,291 --> 00:05:34,292
A lot?
134
00:05:34,292 --> 00:05:35,669
I mean,
I know he got promoted,
135
00:05:35,669 --> 00:05:37,754
but I didn't think
he was working that much.
136
00:05:37,754 --> 00:05:40,006
A lot of times,
he doesn't get home till 8:00.
137
00:05:40,006 --> 00:05:42,509
I've already made myself dinner
by then.
138
00:05:42,509 --> 00:05:44,344
Oh, wow.
139
00:05:44,344 --> 00:05:46,972
So you're ‐‐
you're, like, alone all day?
140
00:05:46,972 --> 00:05:48,723
That's so hard.
141
00:05:48,723 --> 00:05:50,433
What do you do all day?
142
00:05:50,433 --> 00:05:53,353
Well, after online school,
I have my TV friends.
143
00:05:53,353 --> 00:05:54,938
Oh, yeah?
Who's that?
144
00:05:54,938 --> 00:05:56,857
You know ‐‐ "Friends."
145
00:05:56,857 --> 00:06:00,151
Rachel, Ross, Monica, Phoebe,
Chandler, and the dumb guy.
146
00:06:00,151 --> 00:06:02,821
Oh, yeah.
I never watched that show.
147
00:06:02,821 --> 00:06:04,364
The title turned me off.
148
00:06:04,364 --> 00:06:07,409
"Friends." That seemed like
a lot of pressure.
149
00:06:07,409 --> 00:06:09,369
I wish I was here more.
150
00:06:09,369 --> 00:06:10,954
There's always
people around.
151
00:06:10,954 --> 00:06:12,205
But when I go
back and forth,
152
00:06:12,205 --> 00:06:15,375
it's hard because
I always forget my stuff.
153
00:06:15,375 --> 00:06:18,378
Yeah, well, I know
this isn't easy for you,
154
00:06:18,378 --> 00:06:20,255
and I really think we should
talk more about this later.
155
00:06:20,255 --> 00:06:22,507
But right now,
I gotta get to work, okay?
156
00:06:22,507 --> 00:06:24,509
So come on back inside.
157
00:06:24,509 --> 00:06:28,430
Can you stay up here with me
for a few more minutes?
158
00:06:28,430 --> 00:06:30,015
Sure.
159
00:06:31,975 --> 00:06:34,060
[ Dog barking in distance ]
160
00:06:34,060 --> 00:06:36,646
Oh, man.
Things never change.
161
00:06:36,646 --> 00:06:38,940
That right there
is old lady Carlson
162
00:06:38,940 --> 00:06:40,817
hanging out her laundry.
163
00:06:40,817 --> 00:06:42,694
Oh, wait a minute.
164
00:06:42,694 --> 00:06:44,654
That's got to be
her daughter.
165
00:06:44,654 --> 00:06:47,991
Hey, I look great compared
to her, right?
166
00:06:47,991 --> 00:06:51,161
Well,
you don't have the hump.
167
00:06:51,161 --> 00:06:54,706
And I've got a personality
that lights up a room.
168
00:06:56,374 --> 00:07:00,670
♪♪
169
00:07:00,670 --> 00:07:03,006
We've only been working here
for four days.
170
00:07:03,006 --> 00:07:04,758
We're gonna get in trouble.
Put the phone down.
171
00:07:04,758 --> 00:07:06,176
No!
172
00:07:06,176 --> 00:07:09,929
D.J.'s gonna want to know
how upset Mary is.
173
00:07:09,929 --> 00:07:12,223
[ Scoffs ]
"Voicemail is full"?
174
00:07:12,223 --> 00:07:15,852
Who the hell wants to talk
to D. J.?
175
00:07:15,852 --> 00:07:17,812
Oh, that's kind of fun.
176
00:07:17,812 --> 00:07:20,106
Unless something bad happened
in Cutting and Forming,
177
00:07:20,106 --> 00:07:22,442
in which case
it's terrifying.
178
00:07:22,442 --> 00:07:24,235
Or there's an immediate opening
for one of us
179
00:07:24,235 --> 00:07:25,612
in Cutting and Forming.
180
00:07:27,614 --> 00:07:28,823
[ Laughing evilly ]
Pretty cheerful
181
00:07:28,823 --> 00:07:31,576
for a guy
who just lost a hand.
182
00:07:31,576 --> 00:07:33,453
Oh, you know what?
183
00:07:33,453 --> 00:07:35,997
We definitely have to do
a Halloween thing for Mary.
184
00:07:35,997 --> 00:07:38,291
Yeah, that'll solve
the problem now,
185
00:07:38,291 --> 00:07:41,127
but sounds like
D. J. isn't around much.
186
00:07:41,127 --> 00:07:44,005
And we just can't leave her
hanging around her house alone.
187
00:07:45,256 --> 00:07:47,092
You know what?
188
00:07:47,092 --> 00:07:50,595
I only see one option.
189
00:07:50,595 --> 00:07:51,888
Until Geena gets back,
190
00:07:51,888 --> 00:07:54,432
we gotta move her
into the house.
191
00:07:54,432 --> 00:07:56,393
Wow.
192
00:07:56,393 --> 00:07:58,269
I don't know if I can make
that time commitment,
193
00:07:58,269 --> 00:08:00,313
with Beverly Rose
and all.
194
00:08:00,313 --> 00:08:02,524
Well, I mean, if we're both
looking after her,
195
00:08:02,524 --> 00:08:04,150
I think it'll be okay.
196
00:08:04,150 --> 00:08:05,735
Okay, how about this?
197
00:08:05,735 --> 00:08:07,195
You be the hard‐ass aunt,
198
00:08:07,195 --> 00:08:09,614
and I'll be the fun aunt
who says,
199
00:08:09,614 --> 00:08:11,741
"Isn't the other aunt
a killjoy?
200
00:08:11,741 --> 00:08:14,202
Let's hide a fish
in her car."
201
00:08:14,202 --> 00:08:17,455
Sure. And since it's already an
overcrowded flophouse upstairs,
202
00:08:17,455 --> 00:08:19,999
she can live in the basement
with her fun aunt.
203
00:08:19,999 --> 00:08:22,961
You mean like
a live‐in babysitter?
204
00:08:22,961 --> 00:08:27,465
I mean, whatever you think
is best for Mary.
205
00:08:27,465 --> 00:08:30,051
Between Ben and Jackie
and Dad,
206
00:08:30,051 --> 00:08:33,012
somebody'll be there during
the day until we get home.
207
00:08:33,012 --> 00:08:35,140
Yeah, if we bring some
of her stuff over from D. J.'s,
208
00:08:35,140 --> 00:08:37,809
I think
she'll be happier.
209
00:08:37,809 --> 00:08:39,185
And we should
leave a note.
210
00:08:39,185 --> 00:08:43,106
Um, "Hope your business trip
was successful.
211
00:08:43,106 --> 00:08:46,317
We're taking your only child
to live with us."
212
00:08:46,317 --> 00:08:49,404
Yeah. We'll deal with that
when we see him.
213
00:08:49,404 --> 00:08:51,156
I'm just trying to imagine
how I would feel
214
00:08:51,156 --> 00:08:52,866
if someone wanted to take
one of my kids
215
00:08:52,866 --> 00:08:54,784
to live someplace else.
216
00:08:54,784 --> 00:08:56,911
Don't say a word.
I'm just trying to savor it.
217
00:08:58,288 --> 00:08:59,164
[ Cellphone chimes ]
218
00:09:02,292 --> 00:09:04,753
Oh, crap.
It's Mark's school.
219
00:09:04,753 --> 00:09:05,879
He got into a fight
220
00:09:05,879 --> 00:09:07,839
and they're suspending him
for two days.
221
00:09:07,839 --> 00:09:09,174
They sent him home.
222
00:09:09,174 --> 00:09:11,176
Oh, man.
That's too bad.
223
00:09:11,176 --> 00:09:12,552
He was gonna be the good one,
right?
224
00:09:14,095 --> 00:09:15,889
It's nice to know
someone else
225
00:09:15,889 --> 00:09:17,682
is having a worse day
than you are.
226
00:09:22,604 --> 00:09:25,023
Here ya go.
227
00:09:25,023 --> 00:09:26,524
Oh, my God.
Are you okay?
228
00:09:26,524 --> 00:09:27,776
I'm fine.
229
00:09:27,776 --> 00:09:29,277
Well, who beat you up?
230
00:09:29,277 --> 00:09:31,571
Why do you assume
somebody beat me up?
231
00:09:31,571 --> 00:09:33,073
And for your information,
232
00:09:33,073 --> 00:09:35,116
Colin's the one
who ran away crying.
233
00:09:35,116 --> 00:09:36,951
Uh, okay, great.
You won.
234
00:09:36,951 --> 00:09:38,369
That doesn't make it
any better.
235
00:09:38,369 --> 00:09:39,537
You're not supposed
to be fighting.
236
00:09:39,537 --> 00:09:40,914
Sometimes
you can't help it.
237
00:09:40,914 --> 00:09:43,541
Man, I remember
my school‐fightin' days.
238
00:09:43,541 --> 00:09:46,169
Yeah, back then, you gals
used to carry razor blades
239
00:09:46,169 --> 00:09:47,629
in your beehives.
240
00:09:47,629 --> 00:09:50,340
Uh, I didn't need
to carry razor blades,
241
00:09:50,340 --> 00:09:53,426
because I had
truth and justice!
242
00:09:56,971 --> 00:09:58,515
Okay,
so why were you fighting?
243
00:09:58,515 --> 00:10:00,934
Colin was being a jerk
about me wearing a mask,
244
00:10:00,934 --> 00:10:02,644
and Grandpa Dan
said that ‐‐
Oh, I should've known.
245
00:10:02,644 --> 00:10:04,521
Dad!
No! No.
246
00:10:04,521 --> 00:10:06,731
Grandpa Dan said
that I should talk to him
247
00:10:06,731 --> 00:10:09,067
and explain
my point of view.
248
00:10:09,067 --> 00:10:10,527
Okay.
That's a surprise.
249
00:10:10,527 --> 00:10:12,445
Never mind!
250
00:10:12,445 --> 00:10:15,657
I was telling Colin
all about the science
251
00:10:15,657 --> 00:10:18,243
and he wouldn't listen,
and I called him an idiot.
252
00:10:18,243 --> 00:10:20,745
And he hit me,
and I hit him back,
253
00:10:20,745 --> 00:10:22,080
and he was so surprised,
254
00:10:22,080 --> 00:10:24,290
I had another chance
to hit him.
255
00:10:24,290 --> 00:10:26,543
I told you,
do not waste your time
256
00:10:26,543 --> 00:10:27,669
talking to people
like that.
257
00:10:27,669 --> 00:10:29,170
It only leads
to violence.
258
00:10:29,170 --> 00:10:32,382
But Grandpa was right!
It felt good to talk back.
259
00:10:32,382 --> 00:10:33,550
Oh, man.
260
00:10:33,550 --> 00:10:35,385
You see, what Grandpa did
was he set you up
261
00:10:35,385 --> 00:10:37,053
for a really bad
situation.
262
00:10:37,053 --> 00:10:39,222
I'm gonna deal with that later,
but put on your jacket.
263
00:10:39,222 --> 00:10:40,181
Why?
264
00:10:40,181 --> 00:10:41,641
I'm taking you out
to dinner.
265
00:10:41,641 --> 00:10:42,934
Is that my punishment?
266
00:10:42,934 --> 00:10:45,436
Taking me out to a restaurant
during COVID?
267
00:10:45,436 --> 00:10:47,856
No, we're trying
to make Mary feel better.
268
00:10:47,856 --> 00:10:50,817
Casita Bonita turned their
parking lot into outdoor dining,
269
00:10:50,817 --> 00:10:52,485
and they put
this nice tarp up,
270
00:10:52,485 --> 00:10:54,487
so you don't even notice
the possums staring at you
271
00:10:54,487 --> 00:10:55,405
from the dumpsters.
272
00:10:56,948 --> 00:10:59,200
♪♪
273
00:10:59,200 --> 00:11:00,994
Who told you
they were open?
274
00:11:00,994 --> 00:11:02,537
Louise said
they were doing dinner.
275
00:11:02,537 --> 00:11:04,455
I guess
she got the date wrong.
276
00:11:04,455 --> 00:11:06,541
So why did we drive all the way
to Chicago?
277
00:11:06,541 --> 00:11:10,086
Because Chicago is known
for its great restaurants.
278
00:11:10,086 --> 00:11:12,714
We got a Costco hot dog.
279
00:11:12,714 --> 00:11:15,967
And split a churro.
280
00:11:15,967 --> 00:11:17,635
Let it go, Darlene.
281
00:11:17,635 --> 00:11:20,054
Let it go.
282
00:11:20,054 --> 00:11:22,015
Why are you wearing
a costume?
283
00:11:22,015 --> 00:11:24,184
And why are you dressed as Elsa
from "Frozen 1"
284
00:11:24,184 --> 00:11:25,476
and not "Frozen 2"?
285
00:11:25,476 --> 00:11:28,062
Because I bought it
when "Frozen 1" came out
286
00:11:28,062 --> 00:11:31,441
and I was broke
during "Frozen 2."
287
00:11:31,441 --> 00:11:36,070
And because we are going
trick‐or‐treating!
288
00:11:36,070 --> 00:11:37,780
Really?! We are?!
289
00:11:37,780 --> 00:11:39,949
We're gonna die.
290
00:11:39,949 --> 00:11:42,035
We're not gonna go outside.
We're gonna do it here.
291
00:11:42,035 --> 00:11:43,870
And behind each door
of the house
292
00:11:43,870 --> 00:11:47,332
is either
a trick or a treat.
293
00:11:47,332 --> 00:11:52,045
And you're going to have
to knock on all of them to see.
294
00:11:52,045 --> 00:11:55,089
Thank you!
This is so cool!
295
00:11:55,089 --> 00:11:56,424
Where do we go first?
296
00:11:56,424 --> 00:11:58,593
Why don't you start
with the front door?
297
00:11:58,593 --> 00:12:01,137
Wait, but that door
just leads outside.
298
00:12:01,137 --> 00:12:03,223
Don't do it, Mary.
It's a trick.
299
00:12:03,223 --> 00:12:06,309
They just want us to pick up
the beer cans in the front yard.
300
00:12:06,309 --> 00:12:08,770
[ Growling ]
Try the front door!
301
00:12:16,236 --> 00:12:17,362
[ Shouting ]
302
00:12:17,362 --> 00:12:19,572
[ Both screaming ]
303
00:12:19,572 --> 00:12:22,367
That was so great,
babe.
304
00:12:22,367 --> 00:12:25,161
[ Groaning ] Oh, yeah.
Stick it.
305
00:12:25,161 --> 00:12:28,539
Oh, I hurt some stuff
on the doorjamb.
306
00:12:28,539 --> 00:12:33,169
♪♪
307
00:12:35,088 --> 00:12:40,426
These are
the doors three!
308
00:12:40,426 --> 00:12:45,515
Is it a trick or treat
that ye shall see?
309
00:12:45,515 --> 00:12:46,766
Let's try
the bathroom door.
310
00:12:46,766 --> 00:12:48,726
Are you sure?
311
00:12:48,726 --> 00:12:51,312
Because once you open it...
312
00:12:51,312 --> 00:12:57,026
you can't undo
what you've unleashed!
313
00:13:01,823 --> 00:13:03,700
[ Door opens ]
314
00:13:03,700 --> 00:13:06,035
[ Growling ]
315
00:13:06,035 --> 00:13:08,204
Brownie good.
316
00:13:09,956 --> 00:13:13,001
Take more!
317
00:13:13,001 --> 00:13:14,877
No other kids coming.
318
00:13:16,671 --> 00:13:19,215
Eat slow.
319
00:13:19,215 --> 00:13:23,052
Frankenstein have to change
costume again.
320
00:13:23,052 --> 00:13:25,638
[ Growling ]
321
00:13:32,812 --> 00:13:34,689
[ Knock on door ]
322
00:13:34,689 --> 00:13:36,899
[ Gasps ]
Oh, sorry, kids!
323
00:13:36,899 --> 00:13:38,234
I didn't know
you were up here.
324
00:13:38,234 --> 00:13:40,945
Uh, this is my new boyfriend,
Jack...
325
00:13:40,945 --> 00:13:42,739
Jacked Up!
326
00:13:42,739 --> 00:13:44,032
[ Screams ]
327
00:13:44,032 --> 00:13:46,242
A pun can't change tenses,
Harris.
328
00:13:46,242 --> 00:13:47,493
It's Jack
or it's Jacked.
329
00:13:47,493 --> 00:13:49,662
That's not a legitimate
play on words.
330
00:13:49,662 --> 00:13:52,415
What do you say about that,
Jack or Jacked?
331
00:13:52,415 --> 00:13:54,042
Ohh!
332
00:13:54,042 --> 00:13:56,753
[ Laughing ]
Okay, that was cool.
333
00:13:56,753 --> 00:14:01,174
[ Groaning ]
Oh, don't forget this door.
334
00:14:01,174 --> 00:14:07,472
It's a bathroom used
by six people!
335
00:14:09,724 --> 00:14:13,478
I'm a towel that hasn't been
washed in years!
336
00:14:13,478 --> 00:14:15,772
Help me!
337
00:14:15,772 --> 00:14:19,734
And use bleeeeeach!
338
00:14:19,734 --> 00:14:23,404
[ Both laugh ]
339
00:14:23,404 --> 00:14:25,990
One last door.
340
00:14:25,990 --> 00:14:27,950
You do it.
I'm scared.
341
00:14:32,663 --> 00:14:34,749
Open your bags!
342
00:14:34,749 --> 00:14:36,501
[ Whirring ]
343
00:14:36,501 --> 00:14:39,420
[ Laughs ]
344
00:14:39,420 --> 00:14:40,630
Enjoy.
345
00:14:40,630 --> 00:14:43,633
We ruined the neighbor's
leaf blower for this.
346
00:14:43,633 --> 00:14:46,177
The whole wall looks like
it has ants all over it.
347
00:14:46,177 --> 00:14:47,720
Oh, my God, it does!
Those are real!
348
00:14:47,720 --> 00:14:48,513
‐Oh!
‐[ Gasps ]
349
00:14:48,513 --> 00:14:49,555
Damn ants again?
350
00:14:49,555 --> 00:14:50,640
Yeah.
351
00:14:50,640 --> 00:14:52,600
They never give up.
352
00:14:52,600 --> 00:14:53,559
[ Chuckling ] I tell ya ‐‐
353
00:14:53,559 --> 00:14:55,061
Aah! Aah!
354
00:14:55,061 --> 00:14:56,854
Giant ant mandibles
of death!
355
00:14:56,854 --> 00:14:59,148
Aah! Help me!
Help me!
356
00:14:59,148 --> 00:15:01,859
Happy Halloween!
357
00:15:01,859 --> 00:15:03,569
And operating
the giant ant mandibles
358
00:15:03,569 --> 00:15:05,113
like she's been doing it
her whole life,
359
00:15:05,113 --> 00:15:07,323
my lovely assistant
Harrisa.
360
00:15:07,323 --> 00:15:08,991
Whoo!
361
00:15:08,991 --> 00:15:11,369
I'm gonna go out back
and freak out the chickens now.
362
00:15:13,746 --> 00:15:15,248
[ Knock on door ]
363
00:15:15,665 --> 00:15:17,166
More Halloween!
364
00:15:20,503 --> 00:15:21,587
Daddy!
365
00:15:21,587 --> 00:15:22,588
Hey, sweetheart.
366
00:15:22,588 --> 00:15:23,881
You're early.
367
00:15:23,881 --> 00:15:25,675
We've been trick‐or‐treating
in the house!
368
00:15:25,675 --> 00:15:26,634
That sounds like fun.
369
00:15:26,634 --> 00:15:27,760
Uh, why don't you guys
head upstairs
370
00:15:27,760 --> 00:15:29,345
and count your candy?
371
00:15:29,345 --> 00:15:31,639
I'll be right up.
372
00:15:31,639 --> 00:15:32,723
[ Door closes ]
373
00:15:34,183 --> 00:15:36,978
Thanks for sending me something
like that in an e‐mail.
374
00:15:36,978 --> 00:15:39,981
You moved my daughter out of the
house while I was out of town?
375
00:15:39,981 --> 00:15:41,440
Are you freakin'
kidding me?!
376
00:15:43,276 --> 00:15:45,736
[ Laughing ] Oh, hey!
Deej!
377
00:15:45,736 --> 00:15:47,155
Check it out, huh?
378
00:15:47,155 --> 00:15:49,448
I'm Wolfman Puck!
379
00:15:49,448 --> 00:15:50,908
[ Laughs ]
380
00:15:50,908 --> 00:15:52,285
Where's your costume?
381
00:15:52,285 --> 00:15:54,704
I'm a father whose kid's
being taken from him.
382
00:15:56,414 --> 00:15:57,957
Seems a little dark,
but here's a bag for your candy.
383
00:15:57,957 --> 00:16:02,253
♪♪
384
00:16:05,298 --> 00:16:07,383
Go get the stuff you took
from my house.
385
00:16:07,383 --> 00:16:08,801
I'm taking Mary home.
386
00:16:08,801 --> 00:16:10,928
Come on, D. J.
She's not happy.
387
00:16:10,928 --> 00:16:13,306
You don't tell me
when my kid's not happy, Becky.
388
00:16:13,306 --> 00:16:14,891
You've been a parent
for like a minute.
389
00:16:14,891 --> 00:16:16,350
Well, I talked to her.
390
00:16:16,350 --> 00:16:18,728
And now that you're working
so much,
391
00:16:18,728 --> 00:16:21,105
you're not around
and she's really sad.
392
00:16:21,105 --> 00:16:23,524
You were sad as a kid,
and you're fine.
393
00:16:23,524 --> 00:16:24,567
I mean,
you're functioning.
394
00:16:25,902 --> 00:16:27,236
I'm making this work.
395
00:16:27,236 --> 00:16:29,822
I‐I just had some glitches,
that's all.
396
00:16:29,822 --> 00:16:33,284
This promotion's probably gonna
fund Mary's college.
397
00:16:33,284 --> 00:16:35,536
But she says
she's alone all the time.
398
00:16:35,536 --> 00:16:37,413
She's not.
399
00:16:37,413 --> 00:16:39,707
I pieced together some friends
from the base
400
00:16:39,707 --> 00:16:40,833
to come
and look in on her.
401
00:16:40,833 --> 00:16:43,377
They ‐‐ But they keep
getting re‐stationed.
402
00:16:43,377 --> 00:16:45,213
They're not wrong, Deej.
403
00:16:45,213 --> 00:16:47,215
Right now,
Mary's a latchkey kid.
404
00:16:47,215 --> 00:16:49,383
Plenty of kids
are latchkey kids.
405
00:16:49,383 --> 00:16:50,927
When we were kids,
there was always somebody
406
00:16:50,927 --> 00:16:52,511
at home to watch us.
407
00:16:52,511 --> 00:16:55,097
That's because your mother
and I loved you guys.
408
00:16:55,097 --> 00:16:58,100
And we couldn't hold down
a steady job.
409
00:16:58,100 --> 00:16:59,644
I could've used
a little less love
410
00:16:59,644 --> 00:17:02,688
and a little more
Calvin Klein jeans.
411
00:17:02,688 --> 00:17:05,733
Look, we're all proud
that you got promoted, son.
412
00:17:05,733 --> 00:17:08,361
But why not let her be with us
during the week?
413
00:17:08,361 --> 00:17:10,696
Yeah, it's just till Geena
gets back from overseas.
414
00:17:10,696 --> 00:17:14,158
Come on, Deej.
You're a great dad.
415
00:17:14,158 --> 00:17:16,869
It's just,
you're only one person.
416
00:17:16,869 --> 00:17:19,622
And, you know,
I think this is what she wants.
417
00:17:21,958 --> 00:17:23,542
Mary, hon?
418
00:17:23,542 --> 00:17:25,044
Can you come down
for a minute?
419
00:17:26,671 --> 00:17:28,089
Hey, Dad.
420
00:17:30,550 --> 00:17:32,093
Tell me the truth.
421
00:17:32,093 --> 00:17:34,428
Would you be happier
staying here
422
00:17:34,428 --> 00:17:37,014
with your aunts
most of the week?
423
00:17:37,014 --> 00:17:40,059
Will you be mad
if I say yes?
424
00:17:40,059 --> 00:17:42,144
I would be mad
if you lied.
425
00:17:42,144 --> 00:17:44,146
I'm never mad
if you tell me the truth.
426
00:17:45,731 --> 00:17:48,109
Then yes.
427
00:17:48,109 --> 00:17:49,652
Okay.
428
00:17:49,652 --> 00:17:51,862
Thanks for being honest.
429
00:17:51,862 --> 00:17:54,782
Keep doing Halloween, and
I'll pick you up on Saturday.
430
00:17:54,782 --> 00:17:56,909
I love you, Daddy.
431
00:17:56,909 --> 00:17:58,411
I love you, pumpkin.
432
00:18:03,541 --> 00:18:06,043
Oh, I know this has got
to be hard.
433
00:18:08,588 --> 00:18:10,923
You're doing
the right thing.
434
00:18:10,923 --> 00:18:12,717
Doesn't mean
it doesn't hurt.
435
00:18:15,720 --> 00:18:18,347
This is only temporary.
436
00:18:18,347 --> 00:18:19,890
I'm gonna figure
this out,
437
00:18:19,890 --> 00:18:23,686
and then she's gonna be back
to living with me full time.
438
00:18:23,686 --> 00:18:24,687
Happy Halloween.
439
00:18:24,687 --> 00:18:27,148
Hey, man,
you don't have to go!
440
00:18:27,148 --> 00:18:29,775
Come on!
I'm making hot chocolate.
441
00:18:29,775 --> 00:18:31,110
We're finally gonna try it
with milk.
442
00:18:31,110 --> 00:18:33,195
You always wanted to know
what that tastes like.
443
00:18:34,614 --> 00:18:37,658
It's okay.
I gotta get up early.
444
00:18:37,658 --> 00:18:39,577
Thanks.
445
00:18:39,577 --> 00:18:42,955
[ Door slams ]
[ Sighs ]
446
00:18:42,955 --> 00:18:45,291
That was rough,
but we're not done.
447
00:18:45,291 --> 00:18:47,084
We gotta talk about
what happened with Mark.
448
00:18:47,084 --> 00:18:49,837
I know what happened
to Mark.
449
00:18:49,837 --> 00:18:51,881
He tried to explain his position
to the kid,
450
00:18:51,881 --> 00:18:53,674
a fight started,
Mark finished it.
451
00:18:53,674 --> 00:18:55,009
End of story.
452
00:18:55,009 --> 00:18:57,470
[ Scoffs ]
No, not to me.
453
00:18:57,470 --> 00:19:00,348
Mark got punched in the face.
This is your fault.
454
00:19:00,348 --> 00:19:02,475
I didn't tell him
to fight anybody.
455
00:19:02,475 --> 00:19:04,894
He told me he felt bad
because he didn't say anything.
456
00:19:04,894 --> 00:19:06,687
I told him if the other kid
could say something,
457
00:19:06,687 --> 00:19:08,481
he could say something.
458
00:19:08,481 --> 00:19:10,191
It's called a discussion.
459
00:19:10,191 --> 00:19:12,068
That's how we used
to solve things.
460
00:19:12,068 --> 00:19:15,112
No, you can't have a discussion
with those people.
461
00:19:15,112 --> 00:19:16,739
It's like talking
to a wall.
462
00:19:16,739 --> 00:19:19,492
It was a discussion until
Mark called the kid an idiot.
463
00:19:19,492 --> 00:19:21,911
No, it doesn't matter
what Mark called him.
464
00:19:21,911 --> 00:19:24,288
Those kind of kids want
to have a fight no matter what,
465
00:19:24,288 --> 00:19:25,289
and you know that.
466
00:19:25,289 --> 00:19:26,874
Okay.
467
00:19:26,874 --> 00:19:28,876
There are people
who are willfully ignorant
468
00:19:28,876 --> 00:19:30,294
and you just can't talk
to them.
469
00:19:30,294 --> 00:19:33,631
But what about the rest,
who just don't see it your way?
470
00:19:33,631 --> 00:19:35,758
I got friends
I disagree with.
471
00:19:35,758 --> 00:19:37,176
Do you?
472
00:19:37,176 --> 00:19:39,720
That's not fair.
I don't have friends.
473
00:19:39,720 --> 00:19:41,055
Well, I do.
474
00:19:41,055 --> 00:19:42,431
And we can sit there
over a beer
475
00:19:42,431 --> 00:19:43,724
and argue whose fault
it is
476
00:19:43,724 --> 00:19:45,559
the country's going down
the tubes,
477
00:19:45,559 --> 00:19:47,812
and then agree
that Beverly Rose
478
00:19:47,812 --> 00:19:50,523
would be a better quarterback
than Trubisky.
479
00:19:50,523 --> 00:19:52,942
That's the old days, Dad.
You can't engage anymore.
480
00:19:52,942 --> 00:19:54,902
Everybody just gets louder
and louder and louder.
481
00:19:54,902 --> 00:19:56,654
That's how Mark ended up
in a fistfight.
482
00:19:56,654 --> 00:19:58,739
Mark ended up
in a fistfight
483
00:19:58,739 --> 00:20:01,367
because Colin's father
and Mark's mother
484
00:20:01,367 --> 00:20:03,244
have both taught their kids
that anybody
485
00:20:03,244 --> 00:20:04,954
that doesn't agree with them
is stupid.
486
00:20:04,954 --> 00:20:06,872
Hey, don't you dare equate them
with me.
487
00:20:06,872 --> 00:20:08,874
Why?
Because you think you're right?
488
00:20:08,874 --> 00:20:11,877
They think they're right.
Then nobody talks.
489
00:20:11,877 --> 00:20:14,213
That's the kind of mentality
that's ruining the country.
490
00:20:14,213 --> 00:20:15,840
So you'd rather
let them talk
491
00:20:15,840 --> 00:20:18,801
and continue normalizing
the poison they've been spewing?
492
00:20:18,801 --> 00:20:20,344
That is what's wrong
with the country,
493
00:20:20,344 --> 00:20:22,179
and we're not gonna fix it
by talking.
494
00:20:22,179 --> 00:20:23,222
Then how do you
fix things?
495
00:20:23,222 --> 00:20:24,724
By having an election
496
00:20:24,724 --> 00:20:26,684
and trying to get your candidate
to win.
497
00:20:26,684 --> 00:20:29,395
Then Wednesday morning,
one side's great
498
00:20:29,395 --> 00:20:30,730
and the rest of the country's
pissed off.
499
00:20:30,730 --> 00:20:33,065
Okay, well,
majority rules.
500
00:20:33,065 --> 00:20:35,609
And then whoever loses
has to deal with it.
501
00:20:35,609 --> 00:20:38,070
Then how do we put the country
back together?
502
00:20:38,070 --> 00:20:39,697
I don't know.
That's why we vote ‐‐
503
00:20:39,697 --> 00:20:42,074
so those guys
can figure it out.
504
00:20:42,074 --> 00:20:44,577
I just hope people don't get
discouraged from voting.
505
00:20:44,577 --> 00:20:46,454
I didn't get discouraged.
506
00:20:46,454 --> 00:20:48,205
I filled out my ballot
507
00:20:48,205 --> 00:20:49,331
and dropped it
on the ground
508
00:20:49,331 --> 00:20:50,541
right where the mailbox
used to be.
509
00:20:55,921 --> 00:20:58,841
I raise you five Lemonheads
and a Boston Baked Bean.
510
00:20:58,841 --> 00:21:03,262
Okay, and I will raise you
a 3 Musketeers.
511
00:21:03,262 --> 00:21:04,472
Whoa!
512
00:21:04,472 --> 00:21:06,557
We got ourselves
a whale here.
513
00:21:06,557 --> 00:21:08,184
[ Groans ]
514
00:21:08,184 --> 00:21:10,811
Grr, grr.
515
00:21:10,811 --> 00:21:11,937
Let's wrap this up.
516
00:21:11,937 --> 00:21:14,899
I've got Hansel and Gretel
on preheat.
517
00:21:16,692 --> 00:21:19,028
Has anybody seen
our candy?
518
00:21:19,028 --> 00:21:20,237
Oh, my God.
519
00:21:20,237 --> 00:21:22,782
You people
are real monsters.
520
00:21:22,782 --> 00:21:24,533
Grr, grr, grr, grr,
grr, grr.
521
00:21:24,533 --> 00:21:26,452
Whoa!
37247
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