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1
00:00:00,046 --> 00:00:01,513
_
2
00:00:01,767 --> 00:00:05,669
I just don't understand why
you have to move to California.
3
00:00:05,670 --> 00:00:07,629
Because the job is with Zephra,
4
00:00:07,650 --> 00:00:09,272
and Zephra's in California.
5
00:00:09,274 --> 00:00:10,788
Okay, maybe I'm not following
6
00:00:10,875 --> 00:00:12,951
because my whole face has gone numb
7
00:00:12,998 --> 00:00:14,597
and I just hear my own blood.
8
00:00:14,797 --> 00:00:16,565
Wait. Is Jonah going too?
9
00:00:16,625 --> 00:00:18,188
I think I would have
gotten the heads up
10
00:00:18,190 --> 00:00:19,415
if Jonah were leaving, and I didn't.
11
00:00:19,417 --> 00:00:21,751
So he's not, so we can
just stop talking about it.
12
00:00:21,753 --> 00:00:23,959
Actually, uh, yes. I am.
13
00:00:24,039 --> 00:00:25,052
I'm going, so...
14
00:00:25,119 --> 00:00:27,741
- Ahh.
- [Bleep], yeah!
15
00:00:28,251 --> 00:00:29,752
Together, baby!
16
00:00:29,754 --> 00:00:31,821
All you [bleep] haters can suck it!
17
00:00:32,453 --> 00:00:34,590
So when do you become a soulless suit
18
00:00:34,596 --> 00:00:35,925
and forget about the little guy?
19
00:00:35,927 --> 00:00:37,316
No, it's not...
20
00:00:37,375 --> 00:00:39,668
the whole job is being
a liaison to Cloud 9,
21
00:00:39,701 --> 00:00:42,230
so I'm still gonna be
working with you guys.
22
00:00:42,231 --> 00:00:44,383
And they're still
ironing out the details,
23
00:00:44,384 --> 00:00:45,901
but it'll probably be soon.
24
00:00:46,368 --> 00:00:47,368
Damn it!
25
00:00:47,369 --> 00:00:49,579
Oh, not the California thing.
I already knew about that.
26
00:00:49,714 --> 00:00:52,233
I actually knew before Jonah.
So, no big deal.
27
00:00:52,234 --> 00:00:53,676
But Brian just texted.
28
00:00:53,678 --> 00:00:56,279
We're supposed to be going to
the Aloha Thunder Indoor Waterpark
29
00:00:56,281 --> 00:00:57,148
for a sex weekend,
30
00:00:57,149 --> 00:00:58,581
but it turns out they're closing.
31
00:00:58,583 --> 00:01:00,870
Seems like this coronavirus
deal is spreading.
32
00:01:00,871 --> 00:01:02,285
Whoa! The NBA just announced
33
00:01:02,287 --> 00:01:03,419
they're suspending the season.
34
00:01:03,421 --> 00:01:04,821
- What?
- Wow.
35
00:01:04,823 --> 00:01:06,155
More cases are popping up
36
00:01:06,157 --> 00:01:08,324
in Oregon, Washington, New York...
37
00:01:08,326 --> 00:01:10,927
You guys, Tom Hanks has it!
38
00:01:10,929 --> 00:01:13,095
What? No!
39
00:01:13,097 --> 00:01:14,430
What about Rita?
40
00:01:14,432 --> 00:01:16,223
Does it say anything about Rita?
41
00:01:19,604 --> 00:01:21,871
- Ahh...
- Damn.
42
00:01:28,667 --> 00:01:30,467
And Zephra is adamant that we follow
43
00:01:30,469 --> 00:01:32,836
the CDC recommendation
of washing your hands
44
00:01:32,838 --> 00:01:35,594
for a full 20 seconds.
45
00:01:35,707 --> 00:01:36,745
20 seconds?
46
00:01:36,746 --> 00:01:38,529
That's, like, literally forever.
47
00:01:38,530 --> 00:01:40,902
It's about the length
of two "Happy Birthdays."
48
00:01:40,903 --> 00:01:42,675
So just sing that, and you'll be fine.
49
00:01:42,676 --> 00:01:43,942
Yeah, but whose name do we insert?
50
00:01:43,944 --> 00:01:45,476
I have a friend named Ty,
and I have a friend
51
00:01:45,478 --> 00:01:46,978
named Alexandrina Geneviva.
52
00:01:46,980 --> 00:01:48,880
Those are two wildly
different time frames.
53
00:01:48,882 --> 00:01:51,249
Just say... the name Emma.
54
00:01:51,251 --> 00:01:53,335
Oh, God. Is this your way of making us
55
00:01:53,336 --> 00:01:55,446
sing "Happy Birthday" to Emma
because all of her friends
56
00:01:55,447 --> 00:01:56,838
ditched her on her birthday this year?
57
00:01:56,958 --> 00:01:58,837
No, that didn't happen.
58
00:01:58,838 --> 00:02:00,705
Emma is very popular,
59
00:02:00,706 --> 00:02:03,874
and she's dating a very cute
boy named Braydon.
60
00:02:03,876 --> 00:02:04,876
Very cute.
61
00:02:05,016 --> 00:02:06,464
I don't mean cute
like I think he's hot,
62
00:02:06,564 --> 00:02:08,031
because I'm an adult
and that would be weird.
63
00:02:08,499 --> 00:02:10,475
Whatever... just wash your hands!
There's a virus.
64
00:02:10,778 --> 00:02:12,678
Hey, any update
on when you two lovebirds
65
00:02:12,712 --> 00:02:13,739
are moving to Cali?
66
00:02:13,741 --> 00:02:15,007
Well, um...
67
00:02:15,322 --> 00:02:18,022
with all of this craziness,
they've pushed my start date.
68
00:02:18,050 --> 00:02:19,545
So it's all a little up in the air.
69
00:02:19,956 --> 00:02:21,469
Just like this virus.
70
00:02:21,470 --> 00:02:23,468
Just kidding. It's not airborne.
71
00:02:23,469 --> 00:02:25,347
Well, we don't know that.
It could be. Anyway.
72
00:02:25,348 --> 00:02:27,399
Oh, my God.
Hey, everyone's overreacting.
73
00:02:27,708 --> 00:02:28,868
I mean, no friggin' way
74
00:02:28,870 --> 00:02:30,689
I'm missing out on
spring break this year.
75
00:02:30,690 --> 00:02:32,833
Actually, the latest
articles are saying
76
00:02:32,835 --> 00:02:34,235
that washing your hands isn't enough.
77
00:02:34,237 --> 00:02:35,775
We should be wearing face coverings,
78
00:02:35,776 --> 00:02:36,947
avoiding large groups.
79
00:02:36,948 --> 00:02:38,572
Like, say, 50 plus employees
80
00:02:38,574 --> 00:02:40,074
and an endless stream of customers?
81
00:02:40,076 --> 00:02:41,609
That sounds like here.
82
00:02:41,611 --> 00:02:44,345
Yeah, um... I'll call Zephra.
83
00:02:44,347 --> 00:02:46,732
I'm sure they have
more guidelines for us.
84
00:02:46,800 --> 00:02:48,682
But for now, they want
everybody to know
85
00:02:49,106 --> 00:02:52,225
that, "We value our
employees' dedication."
86
00:02:52,226 --> 00:02:54,812
"You are essential, and the true heroes
87
00:02:54,813 --> 00:02:56,259
during this chaotic time."
88
00:02:57,105 --> 00:02:58,151
Excuse me?
89
00:02:58,320 --> 00:03:01,163
The SVP of Company Communications,
90
00:03:01,164 --> 00:03:03,664
Sandy Sugarman, just called us heroes?
91
00:03:04,436 --> 00:03:06,115
It's about damn time.
92
00:03:06,116 --> 00:03:07,116
Yeah!
93
00:03:07,261 --> 00:03:09,349
Are we still heroes if we
definitely wouldn't be here
94
00:03:09,350 --> 00:03:10,414
if we didn't have to be?
95
00:03:10,507 --> 00:03:11,514
I can keep this, right?
96
00:03:11,515 --> 00:03:13,431
You don't care if I keep this, do ya?
97
00:03:20,362 --> 00:03:21,840
What happened to the café?
98
00:03:21,842 --> 00:03:22,842
Oh, um...
99
00:03:22,940 --> 00:03:24,944
the governor shut
down all indoor dining.
100
00:03:24,945 --> 00:03:26,845
Damn. This is my favorite restaurant.
101
00:03:26,847 --> 00:03:29,347
Uh, are y... are you serious?
102
00:03:29,349 --> 00:03:30,583
- Jonah, just let it go.
- No, no, no.
103
00:03:30,585 --> 00:03:31,902
Today's restaurant landscape?
104
00:03:31,922 --> 00:03:33,494
Have you tried Barrell and Sage?
105
00:03:33,496 --> 00:03:34,828
If you give me your email address,
106
00:03:34,830 --> 00:03:36,029
I can send you my list.
107
00:03:37,133 --> 00:03:38,979
Let's go, sir. No lingering.
108
00:03:38,980 --> 00:03:40,934
Just pick a conditioner
and keep moving.
109
00:03:40,936 --> 00:03:43,077
Nope, nope. You're fine, sir.
110
00:03:43,078 --> 00:03:44,911
Take all of the time you need.
111
00:03:44,913 --> 00:03:46,282
Ah, he's just putting on a show.
112
00:03:46,283 --> 00:03:49,179
We all know he's just
using it to masturbate.
113
00:03:49,180 --> 00:03:50,302
Okay, Dina?
114
00:03:50,685 --> 00:03:52,185
Our customers are already on edge.
115
00:03:52,187 --> 00:03:53,673
They don't need us blowing whistles
116
00:03:53,674 --> 00:03:56,155
and yelling at them about masturbation.
117
00:03:56,157 --> 00:03:58,624
Hard disagree. You heard Sugarman.
118
00:03:58,626 --> 00:04:00,126
We are essential.
119
00:04:00,128 --> 00:04:02,261
Customers are like sheep
looking for guidance.
120
00:04:02,263 --> 00:04:05,098
Without leaders, sheep
start to eat each other.
121
00:04:05,100 --> 00:04:06,833
So, unless one of us leads,
122
00:04:06,835 --> 00:04:08,234
this place is gonna be
littered in haggis
123
00:04:08,236 --> 00:04:09,371
from here to Sunday.
124
00:04:10,672 --> 00:04:12,833
All right, soft hands. Get goin'.
125
00:04:15,110 --> 00:04:16,833
Sorry. Where's the bottled water?
126
00:04:16,834 --> 00:04:18,277
Oh! That'll be in grocery.
127
00:04:18,279 --> 00:04:19,965
Just down there and to your left.
128
00:04:19,966 --> 00:04:21,599
- Thanks.
- Oh, come on.
129
00:04:21,601 --> 00:04:22,999
I'm not a hero.
130
00:04:25,071 --> 00:04:26,717
I'm not a hero!
131
00:04:27,474 --> 00:04:28,940
I guess I'm kinda lucky
132
00:04:28,942 --> 00:04:30,775
because now that all
concerts are shut down,
133
00:04:30,777 --> 00:04:33,544
I don't have to throw that
huge, illegal music festival
134
00:04:33,546 --> 00:04:35,746
for my birthday
that I charge people for.
135
00:04:36,272 --> 00:04:37,851
I don't think I knew about that.
136
00:04:37,852 --> 00:04:39,874
Oh, really? Tickets are still available.
137
00:04:39,876 --> 00:04:41,165
You should check it out.
138
00:04:42,045 --> 00:04:43,455
Hey, they still have some!
139
00:04:43,456 --> 00:04:45,485
Oh, um, sir? If you just wanna wait,
140
00:04:45,486 --> 00:04:47,085
we're gonna, um...
141
00:04:47,086 --> 00:04:48,640
If you just give us one second...
142
00:04:48,641 --> 00:04:51,497
We're gonna put it
out, so just be chill.
143
00:04:51,981 --> 00:04:53,221
Attention shoppers.
144
00:04:53,282 --> 00:04:55,901
We ask that you please not
physically wrestle things
145
00:04:55,902 --> 00:04:57,167
from your fellow customers.
146
00:04:57,168 --> 00:04:59,142
There's a highly
contractable virus out there
147
00:04:59,143 --> 00:05:01,252
that our country
does not have a hold of.
148
00:05:02,109 --> 00:05:03,602
Noall you are listening, huh?
149
00:05:03,893 --> 00:05:05,772
All right. Enjoy the apocalypse.
150
00:05:05,773 --> 00:05:08,414
Looks like the sheep
are starting to eat each other.
151
00:05:08,415 --> 00:05:10,149
Do sheep eat each other?
152
00:05:10,150 --> 00:05:11,432
Isn't that what haggis is?
153
00:05:11,459 --> 00:05:12,939
I don't know, Dina said something.
154
00:05:12,941 --> 00:05:13,974
Hey, Mateo?
155
00:05:14,035 --> 00:05:15,569
Did Zephra get back to me
about the guidelines?
156
00:05:16,090 --> 00:05:19,124
Oh, yeah. They sent over a
very detailed, step-by-step...
157
00:05:19,238 --> 00:05:20,738
JK, they're drowning over there.
158
00:05:21,293 --> 00:05:23,026
Very helpful. Thank you.
159
00:05:24,164 --> 00:05:26,031
Sandra? What...
160
00:05:29,336 --> 00:05:32,192
Okay, well, if they're
not gonna help us,
161
00:05:32,193 --> 00:05:34,661
then we're gonna have to
figure this out ourselves.
162
00:05:36,297 --> 00:05:37,864
Okay, listen up!
163
00:05:37,866 --> 00:05:40,199
Everybody in single-file lines.
164
00:05:40,201 --> 00:05:42,536
The only people grabbing
anything off the shelves
165
00:05:42,581 --> 00:05:43,836
are the employees,
166
00:05:43,838 --> 00:05:45,705
and once you receive your items,
167
00:05:45,707 --> 00:05:47,774
please proceed to checkout.
168
00:05:49,210 --> 00:05:50,777
Okay. Great.
169
00:05:50,779 --> 00:05:52,211
We've got this under control.
170
00:05:52,213 --> 00:05:53,379
Oh, yeah. Totally.
171
00:05:53,381 --> 00:05:54,981
I mean, and this is
just temporary, so...
172
00:05:54,983 --> 00:05:56,041
Totally!
173
00:05:56,042 --> 00:05:58,151
I mean, couple weeks,
we'll be back to normal.
174
00:06:00,033 --> 00:06:02,537
_
175
00:06:03,377 --> 00:06:06,349
So, whenever at all
possible, you must remain 6 feet apart.
176
00:06:06,350 --> 00:06:07,950
Well, is it 6 feet from, like,
177
00:06:07,952 --> 00:06:09,284
the center of our bodies
178
00:06:09,286 --> 00:06:10,919
or from, like, where our bodies end?
179
00:06:10,921 --> 00:06:12,487
Great question. Um...
180
00:06:12,489 --> 00:06:14,556
I'm gonna say start
measuring from nips and tips.
181
00:06:14,558 --> 00:06:16,859
Sorry, are the men measuring
from the nips or the tips?
182
00:06:16,861 --> 00:06:18,493
I think women nips, men tips.
183
00:06:18,495 --> 00:06:19,761
Yeah.
184
00:06:19,763 --> 00:06:22,030
So... ooh.
185
00:06:22,032 --> 00:06:24,099
Okay! Thank you, Dina.
186
00:06:24,101 --> 00:06:26,968
So, first off, Marcus
tested positive for COVID
187
00:06:26,969 --> 00:06:29,500
after attending a spring
break party on the lake.
188
00:06:29,501 --> 00:06:31,679
So if any of you have been
hanging out with Marcus,
189
00:06:31,721 --> 00:06:32,875
you should leave now.
190
00:06:34,283 --> 00:06:36,584
Yeah, that's what I thought.
I just had to ask.
191
00:06:36,631 --> 00:06:38,180
Okay, um, some good news.
192
00:06:38,182 --> 00:06:40,247
Oh, my God. You're pregnant.
193
00:06:40,321 --> 00:06:41,867
Jesus, Amy! Again?
194
00:06:41,868 --> 00:06:42,933
- No!
- Is it Adam's?
195
00:06:42,935 --> 00:06:45,269
- What? No!
- Why would it be Adam's?
196
00:06:45,271 --> 00:06:46,514
It's usually Adam's.
197
00:06:46,516 --> 00:06:48,566
I'm not pregnant.
198
00:06:48,567 --> 00:06:50,000
I was going to say
199
00:06:50,002 --> 00:06:52,713
Zephra finally sent over
the safety protocols.
200
00:06:53,724 --> 00:06:54,748
Yay.
201
00:06:54,806 --> 00:06:57,348
So, employees must wipe down
202
00:06:57,349 --> 00:07:00,710
the register and credit card
machine after each customer
203
00:07:00,711 --> 00:07:04,403
as well as every rolling cart,
door knob, bathroom door,
204
00:07:04,404 --> 00:07:06,854
electronic device, and product.
205
00:07:07,441 --> 00:07:10,421
Oh, okay. So everything the air touches.
206
00:07:10,422 --> 00:07:11,855
Got it. Easy.
207
00:07:11,857 --> 00:07:13,961
We're also required to wear masks.
208
00:07:13,962 --> 00:07:15,877
Will they be providing us with masks?
209
00:07:15,878 --> 00:07:17,230
Because I just have this one,
210
00:07:17,231 --> 00:07:18,962
and I've been tonguing it like crazy.
211
00:07:18,964 --> 00:07:20,230
Well, don't.
212
00:07:20,947 --> 00:07:23,197
And, no, they're focused on
213
00:07:23,198 --> 00:07:25,755
donating masks and
PPE to local hospitals.
214
00:07:25,756 --> 00:07:27,133
So no extra protection?
215
00:07:27,135 --> 00:07:28,935
I'm like a sitting duck
in customer service.
216
00:07:28,937 --> 00:07:30,286
You have any idea how wet-lipped
217
00:07:30,287 --> 00:07:31,537
the community is here?
218
00:07:31,539 --> 00:07:33,287
- That's a good point.
- Very moist.
219
00:07:33,307 --> 00:07:36,580
Guys, look. I know that this is hard.
220
00:07:36,581 --> 00:07:38,088
But if anybody needs anything,
221
00:07:38,148 --> 00:07:40,264
come to me and I
will do everything I can
222
00:07:40,265 --> 00:07:41,317
to keep you safe.
223
00:07:41,837 --> 00:07:43,564
Also, Zephra wants to reiterate
224
00:07:43,565 --> 00:07:46,401
that Cloud 9 employees are the
true heroes of the Zephra family.
225
00:07:46,403 --> 00:07:48,103
- Damn right!
- Oh, you got that right!
226
00:07:48,130 --> 00:07:49,596
No, Glenn! 6 feet!
227
00:07:51,547 --> 00:07:52,867
Oh, sorry.
228
00:07:52,888 --> 00:07:55,789
We're limiting toilet paper
to one pack per household.
229
00:07:55,911 --> 00:07:58,078
My kids have separate households.
230
00:07:58,253 --> 00:07:59,360
There's, like,
231
00:07:59,361 --> 00:08:01,639
no way that baby has its own household.
232
00:08:01,669 --> 00:08:03,332
This is so unfair!
233
00:08:03,404 --> 00:08:05,237
I know, there's never
any left for us to buy
234
00:08:05,280 --> 00:08:06,880
- at the end of the shift.
- Bo and I have had to
235
00:08:06,881 --> 00:08:08,052
start using newspaper.
236
00:08:08,053 --> 00:08:11,085
The ink's starting to turn
our butts weird colors.
237
00:08:11,086 --> 00:08:12,898
Which is cool, but
probably not healthy.
238
00:08:14,002 --> 00:08:15,468
What if we...
239
00:08:15,716 --> 00:08:18,140
set a pack aside
somewhere, out of sight,
240
00:08:18,274 --> 00:08:20,674
then at the end of
the day, we split it?
241
00:08:20,809 --> 00:08:23,176
Oh, man. We totally should.
242
00:08:23,178 --> 00:08:24,544
And it's not like we're stealing.
243
00:08:24,546 --> 00:08:26,046
We're still gonna pay for it.
244
00:08:26,048 --> 00:08:27,714
- Of course.
- You know what?
245
00:08:27,716 --> 00:08:31,051
Maybe we should also put aside
some Dinosaur mac and cheese.
246
00:08:31,053 --> 00:08:33,353
Bo's really into science right now.
247
00:08:33,796 --> 00:08:35,655
So, no returns on food,
248
00:08:35,657 --> 00:08:37,569
clothing, or anything that looks open.
249
00:08:37,570 --> 00:08:38,769
Oh, great, more reasons
250
00:08:38,771 --> 00:08:39,904
for the wet-lips to yell at me.
251
00:08:39,906 --> 00:08:42,072
Also, we're out of cleaning spray.
252
00:08:42,074 --> 00:08:44,041
This is the only mask I could find.
253
00:08:44,043 --> 00:08:47,278
- In the whole store?
- Yeah, I think we're sold out.
254
00:08:47,280 --> 00:08:49,179
I mean, most of us are just improvising.
255
00:08:49,181 --> 00:08:51,982
Sayid, I don't think
that's doing anything.
256
00:08:51,984 --> 00:08:54,318
I know, but Nina and I got in a fight,
257
00:08:54,320 --> 00:08:56,086
and she cut up all my masks.
258
00:08:56,088 --> 00:08:58,455
- Damn.
- Okay.
259
00:09:01,580 --> 00:09:03,814
Ahh. Here.
260
00:09:03,890 --> 00:09:05,656
We'll just say that one was defected.
261
00:09:05,831 --> 00:09:07,844
Feels like you could
have just untied it.
262
00:09:08,501 --> 00:09:10,656
So what are you going to do
about everything else?
263
00:09:11,898 --> 00:09:13,398
- You like leopard.
- Here you are.
264
00:09:13,400 --> 00:09:14,723
Not technically gloves, but...
265
00:09:14,724 --> 00:09:16,072
Found more! Here you go.
266
00:09:16,073 --> 00:09:18,036
As long as it's over 60% alcohol,
267
00:09:18,038 --> 00:09:19,170
it kills germs.
268
00:09:19,172 --> 00:09:21,239
This is 95. Wow.
269
00:09:21,241 --> 00:09:22,607
Is it even legal to sell this?
270
00:09:22,772 --> 00:09:24,477
Here you go.
You right-handed, left-handed?
271
00:09:24,478 --> 00:09:26,144
We should just send Justine home, right?
272
00:09:26,146 --> 00:09:28,780
I can't handle a full afternoon
of her fake drunk voice.
273
00:09:28,782 --> 00:09:30,982
"You guys wanna see my boobs?"
274
00:09:32,252 --> 00:09:34,219
"The only thing I like
more than beer...
275
00:09:34,221 --> 00:09:36,321
is twins."
276
00:09:36,323 --> 00:09:38,523
Maybe it is time for humanity
to wrap it up.
277
00:09:40,827 --> 00:09:42,160
Sorry, man.
278
00:09:42,162 --> 00:09:43,563
Looks like you're
going to have to keep it.
279
00:09:43,564 --> 00:09:44,596
Next.
280
00:09:44,598 --> 00:09:47,565
- We're not heroes.
- Doing our jobs.
281
00:09:48,276 --> 00:09:50,076
Hey, you know, I was watching
the news last night,
282
00:09:50,078 --> 00:09:51,799
waiting to record a blooper for my tape,
283
00:09:51,840 --> 00:09:55,108
and they did this segment on
"Heroes in Your Neighborhood."
284
00:09:55,217 --> 00:09:57,017
And it made me think...
285
00:09:57,019 --> 00:09:58,318
we could be next.
286
00:09:58,320 --> 00:10:00,253
Oh, wow.
287
00:10:01,002 --> 00:10:02,535
I mean, can you imagine?
288
00:10:02,537 --> 00:10:04,800
Someone banging a pot for us?
289
00:10:05,213 --> 00:10:06,712
- Or a pan?
- Ohh.
290
00:10:06,814 --> 00:10:07,847
Ah-choo!
291
00:10:14,262 --> 00:10:15,948
Ow, that stings!
292
00:10:15,949 --> 00:10:18,070
Isn't there a lighter setting?
293
00:10:18,071 --> 00:10:21,078
Yeah, but we need to blast
this virus off ya, buddy.
294
00:10:22,243 --> 00:10:24,467
Besides, I've had this
new nozzle for years,
295
00:10:24,521 --> 00:10:26,875
and this is the first time
I've gotten to use it.
296
00:10:32,753 --> 00:10:34,853
Are you hiding those until after close?
297
00:10:35,126 --> 00:10:37,175
Sandra, you're
supposed to be on lookout!
298
00:10:37,176 --> 00:10:39,323
He came from the direction
that I wasn't looking in.
299
00:10:41,167 --> 00:10:43,908
I won't say anything
if you store these for me.
300
00:10:46,566 --> 00:10:48,300
Ugh, okay.
301
00:10:49,410 --> 00:10:51,603
Sisters are doing it for themselves!
302
00:10:52,352 --> 00:10:53,652
Okay! We only need, like...
303
00:10:53,654 --> 00:10:55,120
30 more masks.
304
00:10:55,122 --> 00:10:56,615
Jesus, Mateo.
305
00:10:56,616 --> 00:10:58,890
You don't have to cut out
their eyeballs first.
306
00:10:58,892 --> 00:11:00,558
Oh, I know. I just like it.
307
00:11:02,029 --> 00:11:03,361
That's your line.
308
00:11:04,097 --> 00:11:05,597
Amy Sosa's office.
309
00:11:05,599 --> 00:11:07,432
Hi, this is Dennis Long from Zephra.
310
00:11:07,434 --> 00:11:09,234
That's my new boss.
311
00:11:09,936 --> 00:11:12,170
Hi, Dennis? Hi, it's Amy.
312
00:11:12,172 --> 00:11:14,127
- Hi, Amy here.
- Hey.
313
00:11:14,400 --> 00:11:15,911
So we know you're still
managing your branch,
314
00:11:15,912 --> 00:11:17,667
but we thought you could
hop on a Zoom call
315
00:11:17,668 --> 00:11:19,503
to help ease you into your new position.
316
00:11:19,504 --> 00:11:20,931
Oh, yeah! Of course.
317
00:11:20,932 --> 00:11:22,606
- Sounds great.
- Amazing.
318
00:11:22,608 --> 00:11:24,542
All right, I'll send you
the link and you can jump on.
319
00:11:24,544 --> 00:11:26,277
Oh, oh. You mean, like, now?
320
00:11:26,279 --> 00:11:28,512
Like, you want me to ease on in now?
321
00:11:28,514 --> 00:11:30,514
- Um...
- Yeah, is that okay?
322
00:11:30,516 --> 00:11:32,783
- Yeah, great.
- Perfect.
323
00:11:32,785 --> 00:11:35,119
We'll see you in a sec.
324
00:11:35,121 --> 00:11:36,887
Agh! Sorry, guys.
325
00:11:36,889 --> 00:11:38,689
I mean, I should probably
get back to my office,
326
00:11:38,691 --> 00:11:40,724
but I don't want to just
ditch you for the new job.
327
00:11:40,726 --> 00:11:42,459
Amy, it's fine. It's just a call.
328
00:11:42,461 --> 00:11:44,361
We'll finish the bear massacre.
329
00:11:45,381 --> 00:11:46,730
Okay, thank you. But, like,
330
00:11:46,732 --> 00:11:48,465
let me know if anything big happens.
331
00:11:48,467 --> 00:11:50,067
Like, bigger than the global pandemic?
332
00:11:50,461 --> 00:11:52,428
I mean, I just saw something
about murder hornets.
333
00:11:52,430 --> 00:11:53,796
So who knows?
334
00:11:58,773 --> 00:12:00,549
So, new break room,
_
335
00:12:00,551 --> 00:12:02,281
AKA warehouse.
_
336
00:12:02,282 --> 00:12:04,313
Mixing it up, keeping it fresh.
337
00:12:04,377 --> 00:12:06,857
But properly distanced,
so don't move your chairs.
338
00:12:06,858 --> 00:12:07,924
Whoo-hoo!
339
00:12:07,926 --> 00:12:09,218
Yeah, fun! Ey?
340
00:12:09,219 --> 00:12:11,806
It's all so much fun. I'm not scared.
341
00:12:12,283 --> 00:12:14,216
Yeah! Come on, yeah!
342
00:12:14,465 --> 00:12:16,530
Whoo-hoo! I like it, I like it. Okay.
343
00:12:16,768 --> 00:12:18,701
Okay, we're going to keep
this meeting short today
344
00:12:18,703 --> 00:12:20,697
because I have to jump on another call.
345
00:12:20,745 --> 00:12:22,879
But look at what came today!
346
00:12:23,041 --> 00:12:24,540
Safety supplies!
347
00:12:26,811 --> 00:12:28,077
What is that?
348
00:12:28,079 --> 00:12:29,779
Anti-looting procedures.
349
00:12:29,781 --> 00:12:31,581
- Oh, wow.
- Come on.
350
00:12:31,583 --> 00:12:34,116
Of course, you see
what we did wrong, guys?
351
00:12:34,118 --> 00:12:35,751
If you wanted to be
protected by corporate,
352
00:12:35,753 --> 00:12:37,219
you should have been merchandise.
353
00:12:37,220 --> 00:12:38,988
Hey, if the protests
are gonna continue,
354
00:12:38,990 --> 00:12:40,828
we need to protect
the store from looters.
355
00:12:40,829 --> 00:12:43,114
Oh, come on. The looting is overblown.
356
00:12:43,115 --> 00:12:45,697
99% of the protests have been peaceful.
357
00:12:45,743 --> 00:12:46,762
I'm just saying.
358
00:12:46,764 --> 00:12:49,082
I got into a Best Buy through a window.
359
00:12:49,509 --> 00:12:51,385
There are also these signs to put up.
360
00:12:52,093 --> 00:12:54,622
"Zephra believes
in the Black community"?
361
00:12:54,623 --> 00:12:55,809
What are we, ghosts?
362
00:12:55,810 --> 00:12:57,489
Yeah, we're not putting any of that up.
363
00:12:57,490 --> 00:12:59,337
But if anybody asks, we put it all up.
364
00:13:00,195 --> 00:13:03,940
Two kettlebells for Sarah,
almond milk for Preeti.
365
00:13:04,111 --> 00:13:05,481
Janet asked for three cans of tuna,
366
00:13:05,483 --> 00:13:07,485
but I think we should make it four.
367
00:13:07,486 --> 00:13:10,054
It's the least we can do for
her these days because of...
368
00:13:10,268 --> 00:13:11,274
you know.
369
00:13:11,385 --> 00:13:12,486
Racism?
370
00:13:13,446 --> 00:13:15,975
Wow. That is a lot of orders today.
371
00:13:15,977 --> 00:13:17,899
Yeah, well, ever since
Sayid blabbed his mouth
372
00:13:17,900 --> 00:13:19,591
to everyone about
it, they keep asking us
373
00:13:19,593 --> 00:13:20,980
to hide things for them.
374
00:13:20,982 --> 00:13:23,204
Okay, but big news of the day?
375
00:13:23,205 --> 00:13:25,518
Just finished "Tiger
King" episode three.
376
00:13:25,520 --> 00:13:28,054
Carol Baskin? Come on, what a trip!
377
00:13:28,056 --> 00:13:29,489
Definitely killed her husband.
378
00:13:29,491 --> 00:13:31,157
Let's get into it.
379
00:13:31,159 --> 00:13:34,761
Yeah, sorry, that was,
like early pandemic.
380
00:13:35,261 --> 00:13:36,994
No one really cares anymore.
381
00:13:36,996 --> 00:13:40,170
I think we're all embarrassed
we cared in the first place.
382
00:13:40,293 --> 00:13:42,293
Seriously? Ugh!
383
00:13:42,368 --> 00:13:43,387
Stupid coronavirus.
384
00:13:43,388 --> 00:13:45,262
I wish I never even went to the ICU.
385
00:13:46,305 --> 00:13:47,337
Am I still freezing?
386
00:13:47,338 --> 00:13:49,074
I think the Wi-Fi's better out here.
387
00:13:49,075 --> 00:13:50,262
Hey, Elias coughed
388
00:13:50,263 --> 00:13:51,686
so Heather locked him in a bathroom.
389
00:13:51,687 --> 00:13:53,254
- Do you think...
- Yep, by the end of the week!
390
00:13:53,255 --> 00:13:54,277
Got it.
391
00:13:54,747 --> 00:13:57,314
- Another Zephra call?
- It's nonstop.
392
00:13:57,316 --> 00:13:59,617
I mean, these tech companies
love their presentations.
393
00:13:59,619 --> 00:14:02,353
I've never seen people so horny
for presentations.
394
00:14:02,355 --> 00:14:04,714
- Hey, Amy, I dropped my mask...
- Justine, she's on...
395
00:14:04,715 --> 00:14:06,879
In the toilet. I didn't pee
yet, but it's still toilet water.
396
00:14:06,880 --> 00:14:08,881
- So is that okay?
- What? No, are you...
397
00:14:08,882 --> 00:14:10,602
Yes, Dennis! I'm still here, hi.
398
00:14:10,603 --> 00:14:12,901
Uh, Amy's on a call.
But if there's no pee...
399
00:14:12,903 --> 00:14:14,769
Hey, Amy, about the
ventilation in my office?
400
00:14:14,771 --> 00:14:16,204
Yes, of course, Mateo.
401
00:14:16,206 --> 00:14:17,781
I promise you we'll talk
about it, I just...
402
00:14:17,782 --> 00:14:18,962
Hey, Amy, can I...
403
00:14:19,036 --> 00:14:21,039
Oh, my God, Corey! What?
404
00:14:22,012 --> 00:14:23,945
I was gonna ask if I could
clock out early
405
00:14:23,947 --> 00:14:25,704
to go to the "Black
Lives Matter" protest?
406
00:14:26,450 --> 00:14:27,782
Um...
407
00:14:27,784 --> 00:14:29,150
yes, I'm so sorry.
408
00:14:29,152 --> 00:14:31,319
That... of course. You should.
409
00:14:31,321 --> 00:14:33,488
Not should. I mean, like, you can.
410
00:14:33,490 --> 00:14:35,824
If you want.
Anyone who wants to should.
411
00:14:35,826 --> 00:14:37,258
You know?
412
00:14:37,260 --> 00:14:38,626
Whatever you're... uh-huh!
413
00:14:38,628 --> 00:14:40,552
Cindy, I'm gonna do that right now.
414
00:14:49,994 --> 00:14:51,093
Ma'am, please.
415
00:14:51,095 --> 00:14:52,295
But I have a medical condition!
416
00:14:52,297 --> 00:14:53,729
Hey, what seems to be the problem here?
417
00:14:53,731 --> 00:14:54,977
This man is harassing me,
418
00:14:54,978 --> 00:14:56,400
telling me that I have to
wear that mask.
419
00:14:56,401 --> 00:14:59,068
I am only trying to keep you safe.
420
00:14:59,070 --> 00:15:00,813
Ma'am, listen. You
need to put on the mask,
421
00:15:00,814 --> 00:15:02,280
or you will be escorted
out of the store.
422
00:15:02,282 --> 00:15:03,748
This is America! Okay?
423
00:15:03,750 --> 00:15:05,316
I have rights.
424
00:15:05,318 --> 00:15:07,147
You guys are working
for Satan, aren't you?
425
00:15:07,148 --> 00:15:08,247
- Oh, no.
- Huh? Yeah?
426
00:15:08,249 --> 00:15:09,415
You're Satan workers!
427
00:15:09,417 --> 00:15:10,616
- S-Satan?
- Here we go.
428
00:15:10,618 --> 00:15:12,618
- Yeah.
- He is the one person
429
00:15:12,620 --> 00:15:14,987
that I would never work for!
430
00:15:14,989 --> 00:15:17,456
Attention shoppers,
we're sorry to announce
431
00:15:17,458 --> 00:15:21,093
we are out of paper towels,
pasta, flour, and...
432
00:15:22,663 --> 00:15:23,963
So just...
433
00:15:25,014 --> 00:15:28,149
- Our stuff!
- Hands off, employees only!
434
00:15:28,151 --> 00:15:30,618
I need that pasta sauce.
I have a medical condition!
435
00:15:30,620 --> 00:15:31,919
No, ma'am. Stop!
436
00:15:31,921 --> 00:15:34,455
I'm gonna chase you,
I'm just waiting for 6 feet.
437
00:15:44,634 --> 00:15:46,234
What happened here?
438
00:15:46,493 --> 00:15:48,226
Uh, if this is upsetting to you,
439
00:15:48,228 --> 00:15:51,162
might I suggest you not look up
at the ceiling tonight?
440
00:15:51,709 --> 00:15:54,643
Okay. Will do looking up tomorrow.
441
00:15:54,645 --> 00:15:57,640
But, seriously, why didn't
anybody come get me?
442
00:15:57,641 --> 00:16:01,047
Well, I tried, but you
were on another call.
443
00:16:02,294 --> 00:16:04,328
I-I-I don't know how
to be good at this.
444
00:16:04,330 --> 00:16:06,430
I mean, I told everybody to come to me
445
00:16:06,432 --> 00:16:07,673
and I would take care of them,
446
00:16:07,674 --> 00:16:10,168
but they have me on these calls
all day every day!
447
00:16:10,169 --> 00:16:11,568
Yeah, well, it's too much, Amy.
448
00:16:11,570 --> 00:16:13,264
They're spreading you too thin.
449
00:16:13,265 --> 00:16:15,555
I mean, we barely even
see each other anymore.
450
00:16:15,803 --> 00:16:17,819
Right, and I'm a terrible
girlfriend, too.
451
00:16:17,945 --> 00:16:19,411
And an awful mother!
452
00:16:19,413 --> 00:16:21,513
I mean, I see Dennis' kids
more than I see my own.
453
00:16:21,515 --> 00:16:23,748
That's not what I meant. You're just...
454
00:16:24,551 --> 00:16:27,118
You're in an impossible situation.
455
00:16:27,621 --> 00:16:29,187
We all are.
456
00:16:29,189 --> 00:16:32,123
And, I don't know,
something has to change.
457
00:16:33,920 --> 00:16:35,620
Oh, my God.
458
00:16:35,655 --> 00:16:37,121
You said you wouldn't look up!
459
00:16:37,827 --> 00:16:39,534
Okay, so no morning meeting today.
460
00:16:39,535 --> 00:16:41,696
I'm just gonna hand out
shift assignments
461
00:16:41,697 --> 00:16:43,801
'cause Amy's on another Zephra call.
462
00:16:43,802 --> 00:16:45,968
Not just any call. A big one.
463
00:16:45,970 --> 00:16:47,268
With the CEO.
464
00:16:47,269 --> 00:16:48,913
I forwarded her the link.
465
00:16:48,992 --> 00:16:50,147
Oh! Really?
466
00:16:50,148 --> 00:16:52,708
That's a big call. I didn't know that.
467
00:16:52,710 --> 00:16:54,743
I didn't even see her
before she left this morning.
468
00:16:54,745 --> 00:16:57,613
Seems like Amy's always
on a Zephra call these days.
469
00:16:57,615 --> 00:16:59,723
She's drawn to that new young job.
470
00:16:59,724 --> 00:17:02,317
Old Cloud 9 can't please
her the way we used to
471
00:17:02,319 --> 00:17:05,054
with our creaky joints
and our floppy junk.
472
00:17:05,056 --> 00:17:06,497
Okay, hey. Come on.
473
00:17:06,498 --> 00:17:09,858
Amy might have abandoned us
a little, but we're fine!
474
00:17:09,860 --> 00:17:11,593
You know, everything's fine.
475
00:17:11,595 --> 00:17:13,660
In fact, in my panic dream last night,
476
00:17:13,661 --> 00:17:16,998
the person clubbing me
to death was Topher Grace.
477
00:17:17,233 --> 00:17:18,678
So...
478
00:17:18,679 --> 00:17:20,843
little taste of Tinseltown for y'all.
479
00:17:21,572 --> 00:17:24,906
And still, we've managed
to see a huge earning spike
480
00:17:24,947 --> 00:17:26,125
from our Cloud 9 stores.
481
00:17:26,126 --> 00:17:29,044
It really speaks to how well
things are handling things.
482
00:17:29,046 --> 00:17:32,114
Great job, guys! Way to slay!
483
00:17:33,884 --> 00:17:35,517
Okay, let's hear from marketing.
484
00:17:35,519 --> 00:17:37,497
Oh, um. Hey, hi!
485
00:17:37,498 --> 00:17:39,558
Hey, Kira. Hi, hey.
486
00:17:39,559 --> 00:17:40,989
Amy Sosa here.
487
00:17:40,991 --> 00:17:43,614
Um, actually, I just have
a little bit of a thing
488
00:17:43,615 --> 00:17:45,227
to add to the Cloud 9 update?
489
00:17:45,229 --> 00:17:46,628
Of course. What's up?
490
00:17:47,055 --> 00:17:50,065
Um, so Cloud 9 isn't
actually doing so well.
491
00:17:50,067 --> 00:17:52,791
I mean, sure, the sales are up,
492
00:17:52,792 --> 00:17:54,838
but morale is way down.
493
00:17:55,072 --> 00:17:57,473
Our employees aren't only scared,
494
00:17:57,475 --> 00:17:59,808
but they're spending a lot of
their personal time and money
495
00:17:59,810 --> 00:18:00,867
to protect themselves.
496
00:18:00,868 --> 00:18:03,283
So maybe if Zephra sent over some PPE,
497
00:18:03,284 --> 00:18:04,913
they could focus on doing their jobs
498
00:18:04,915 --> 00:18:07,436
instead of worrying so much
about their own health and safety.
499
00:18:08,909 --> 00:18:10,142
Sorry, Amy.
500
00:18:10,173 --> 00:18:12,407
You froze after, "Cloud 9 isn't... "?
501
00:18:13,557 --> 00:18:16,057
Um, I was just saying that
502
00:18:16,293 --> 00:18:17,926
the employees need PPE
503
00:18:17,928 --> 00:18:19,928
and maybe some of the earnings spike
504
00:18:19,930 --> 00:18:21,663
can go towards them.
505
00:18:21,991 --> 00:18:25,129
Well, yeah. When you put it
like that, that's a really good point.
506
00:18:26,137 --> 00:18:28,325
You know what? Let's look into sending
507
00:18:28,326 --> 00:18:30,545
masks and gloves to all our stores.
508
00:18:30,546 --> 00:18:33,771
We gotta have your backs,
'cause you all have been slaying!
509
00:18:35,044 --> 00:18:37,055
Yeah, wow! Great, that's great!
510
00:18:37,056 --> 00:18:38,143
Thank you!
511
00:18:38,144 --> 00:18:39,961
You know, it's just so good to know
512
00:18:39,962 --> 00:18:42,263
that you're all really
taking care of your people.
513
00:18:44,388 --> 00:18:46,955
Sorry, Amy. We lost you
again. What'd you say?
514
00:18:46,957 --> 00:18:48,292
Uh, nothing. Never mind.
515
00:18:48,293 --> 00:18:50,386
Marketing, you're up. Slay!
516
00:18:51,128 --> 00:18:53,136
Harmonica wants to play Suck and Blow
517
00:18:53,137 --> 00:18:55,938
at her birthday party, but I
just don't know if it's safe.
518
00:18:55,940 --> 00:18:57,873
Kids are missing out
on so much right now.
519
00:18:57,875 --> 00:18:59,942
- Yeah.
- Oh, the beer is for you guys.
520
00:18:59,944 --> 00:19:02,678
Just a small thank you
for all you've been doing.
521
00:19:05,116 --> 00:19:06,920
That's so nice!
522
00:19:06,921 --> 00:19:08,721
We should all drink
together after work.
523
00:19:08,722 --> 00:19:09,972
Totally.
524
00:19:09,973 --> 00:19:12,085
Do you think that guy
can get us some Ketamine?
525
00:19:15,411 --> 00:19:17,159
Glenn? What are you doing?
526
00:19:17,161 --> 00:19:20,282
- Are you hiding back here?
- What? Ha! No.
527
00:19:20,283 --> 00:19:22,127
I'm just...
528
00:19:22,128 --> 00:19:24,477
counting the pots
on the shelves, you know.
529
00:19:24,478 --> 00:19:27,892
To make sure that we have
enough and not too many.
530
00:19:27,893 --> 00:19:30,139
Yeah, well, we need
your help back in the store.
531
00:19:30,141 --> 00:19:31,856
Okay, look, I really
think the priorities
532
00:19:31,857 --> 00:19:33,366
should be the pots right now.
533
00:19:34,993 --> 00:19:36,109
Okay.
534
00:19:36,382 --> 00:19:37,966
Yeah, you know, I've got to admit,
535
00:19:37,967 --> 00:19:39,570
it's pretty nice back here.
536
00:19:39,571 --> 00:19:42,193
It's kinda getting a
little scary in there.
537
00:19:42,754 --> 00:19:45,121
I guess even us heroes
deserve a little break?
538
00:19:45,123 --> 00:19:46,412
Yeah.
539
00:19:46,920 --> 00:19:49,925
Well, I mean, if you're
scared, you could...
540
00:19:49,927 --> 00:19:51,542
stay and count pots with me.
541
00:19:52,077 --> 00:19:53,943
Sounds good.
542
00:19:57,867 --> 00:19:59,400
To be clear, I didn't need a break.
543
00:19:59,401 --> 00:20:01,027
I was pretending because you're scared.
544
00:20:01,028 --> 00:20:02,096
Don't even think for a second
545
00:20:02,098 --> 00:20:03,459
I don't know how
many pots are up there.
546
00:20:04,842 --> 00:20:06,289
This is actually kinda nice.
547
00:20:06,675 --> 00:20:08,110
It's been a long time
since I've been able
548
00:20:08,126 --> 00:20:09,259
to get drunk at work.
549
00:20:09,261 --> 00:20:10,293
We've been so busy.
550
00:20:10,582 --> 00:20:12,329
And you guys are the only
other people I see
551
00:20:12,330 --> 00:20:13,559
besides Jerry and Tony.
552
00:20:13,963 --> 00:20:16,163
But sometimes I wake up
in the middle of the night
553
00:20:16,164 --> 00:20:18,738
and I think I see my bus driver
554
00:20:18,740 --> 00:20:20,555
lurking over our bed.
555
00:20:22,326 --> 00:20:23,831
It's probably nothing.
556
00:20:23,832 --> 00:20:26,511
Well, the one good thing about
being relentlessly exposed to this virus
557
00:20:26,512 --> 00:20:28,282
is that we're all doing it together.
558
00:20:29,067 --> 00:20:31,033
No one tell Justine we're here.
559
00:20:32,170 --> 00:20:33,400
Hey, uh...
560
00:20:33,401 --> 00:20:34,702
I know you're probably busy,
561
00:20:34,703 --> 00:20:37,029
but a customer
just bought us some beer,
562
00:20:37,030 --> 00:20:38,451
and we are celebrating.
563
00:20:38,452 --> 00:20:41,487
Or numbing the pain.
I can't really tell which.
564
00:20:41,799 --> 00:20:44,834
Well, I might actually have
some things to celebrate.
565
00:20:44,843 --> 00:20:46,002
- Oh?
- First of all,
566
00:20:46,003 --> 00:20:48,427
I think I got Zephra
to send us some PPE.
567
00:20:48,428 --> 00:20:49,995
Whoa, that's awesome.
568
00:20:49,996 --> 00:20:52,288
And, um... that was Dennis.
569
00:20:52,289 --> 00:20:54,818
He said that the offices are reopening
570
00:20:54,819 --> 00:20:57,432
and they're ready to fly me out.
571
00:20:57,433 --> 00:20:58,872
- Shut up.
- I'm going to California.
572
00:20:58,873 --> 00:21:00,521
Wha-we're going to California!
573
00:21:00,522 --> 00:21:02,404
- We are going to California!
- This is incredible!
574
00:21:02,405 --> 00:21:04,866
- Yeah!
- You finally get to have one job.
575
00:21:04,867 --> 00:21:07,373
- Thank God.
- We can finally start our lives together.
576
00:21:07,374 --> 00:21:08,417
- Yes.
- It's like, real!
577
00:21:08,418 --> 00:21:09,757
- This is huge!
- So real!
578
00:21:09,758 --> 00:21:11,276
- Ah!
- It's... big!
579
00:21:16,451 --> 00:21:18,451
42030