All language subtitles for Some.Days.Are.Better.Than.Others

Hi, my name is
Katrina Collins.

I live in Portland

and I think I'd be
the ideal candidate

to be on the
next season of

the Real World.

Hi, my name is
Katrina Collins

I live in Portland

and I think I'd be
the ideal candidate

to be on the
next season of

the Real World

I've been watching
the show

ever since I was a kid.

And its always felt
like I'm watching

an exact replica
of my own life.

Sort of like a
dramatic reenactment

except instead of actors

playing the role of
famous people

is real people

playing the role of me.

I work at a dog shelter,
taking care of dogs

and I have a
boyfriend named Brian

who I've been dating
for five years

and I'm totally
crazy about.

...Fifty-six...

Y'know, I just don't
understand what they

need this information for.

And besides,
don't you think

they could call around
and just ask the stores

how many different
brands of milk they carry?

Its like the fact that
somebody would decide

"Hey, we need to
hire somebody

to drive all
around town

to count milk jugs
for us," pretty much

explains how screwed up
the world is.

I guess its better
than that stupid

office job they had
me doing last month.

All I did there
was make copies

for twenty hours straight.

And the machine broke
down every ten minutes.

That's why my hands

still smell like
that ink loner.

Hey, thanks again
for letting me

use the car.

- Oh, you're welcome Eli.

- So I don't think
it will take

as long tomorrow.

- I hope not Eli.

- Um, I'll be by
about 9

if you wanna come.

- Well, I'll see how
Heel.

- Alright.

Alright, well thanks
for today.

- My pleasure.

Hey, you want to
come in the house?

I want to show you
a new setup I got

for the soap films

I discovered

that the best
light source

for the soap films

is the sun.

And this room

has the best light
in the house

So...

Come over here

You put that into there.

And then you go
over there.

And you edit it.

- And the camera here...

sends the image
through these cables

over there.

Really cool.

I hope you don't
plan on using

the sink anytime soon.

- Do you want to

turn that light oh'?

- Sure

- Look at that.

- Whoa

All this from reflections
of a bubble...

- That's right

- You have one unheard
message

First message sent

today at 1:18pm

- Afree DVR

- If you don't know
what a DVR is

press 1 on your phone

and a rep will tell
you all about it.

Its awesome technology

that will change the
way you watch TV.

Basically, if you
still have a

cable provider-.

- Breaking hearts...

Breaking Hearts

someone has to
be sent home.

Hi girls

We've had a long journey

but unfortunately
I only have

two roses left.

Clarissa

We've had some
really good times

like our trip on
the yacht.

Or our long walks

on the candle-lit beach

So this one is easy,

you get a rose...

Megan...

you know how special
you are to me

and I want to keep
the specialness

going for as long
as it can.

And each day,
I feel that

we get connected
stronger and stronger

So this last rose...

This last rose is
for you Megan

- I just can't believe this

I thought what
we had was real

I felt it

And I thought
he felt it, too.

I was ready to
spend the rest of

my life with him.

I just don't understand.

- Stay tuned for scenes
from next week's

episode of...

"The Single Guy."

- Okay, so...

Check this out-

I've figured out
how to eat out

for every meal
of the day

for less than
six bucks total.

Breakfast, lunch, and dinner.

Okay, so...

For breakfast,

all you really need
is cofiee, right?

So you just...

...head over to stumptown.

Get the bottomless cup.

By your second cup
of coffee,

you've pretty much
forgotten about eating

breakfast.

And they're cool there,
you can pretty much

hang out as long
as you want.

And then for lunch,
go over to the

Happy Monday Thai Buffet.

Get the lunch special #3,
for $3.25.

And the lunch special #3
I'm pretty sure

is actually like...

the leftovers from the
previous day's

lunch special #1.

But, good things come
to those who wait

my friend.

Now, the best place
for dinner is

you go to La Sirenita

and you get
the soft tostada.

Its $1.75,
and its huge.

Totally fills you up,
and you're done.

Less than six bucks.

And on the weekends,

you can hit the
Natural Food store

and get all those
free samples

that they give out.

You can kill like
one meal right there.

- I've, ah.

Got a razor blade
that I've

gotten over 2,000
shaves with it.

I've been thinking
about sending it in to

the Guiness Book of
World Records

- Okay, now, what?

- Well, you know

a shaver.

One of them, one of them...

double-bladed things

- The old-fashioned kind --

I think its a Bick.

- Yeah

I've been using it now

for six years

and I've never had
to sharpen it.

- That's pretty cool, Otis.

- Yeah

- This depression ain't
gonna have any impact

OH US.

- Good god, that's a
lot of fucking milk.

The freshest milk is
always in the back.

- Excuse me

Can I help you?

He'll) me?

Not unless you can
tell me how many

quarts, gallons, half-gallons

of Dairy-Gold Sunshine

and Happy Cow Milk
you have in your case.

Um...

Can I ask you to
wait here for

just a moment?

- Yeah, sure
- Thanks.

- Hello, there.
Excuse me.

Can I, ah, help you
with anything?

- Not unless you can
tell me how many

cartons of milk you have
in your dairy case today.

- And why do you
need to know

how many cartons of
milk are in there?

- That's an excellent question.

I really have
no idea why.

It makes no sense, but

they don't pay me
to ask questions, so...

- Are you with the
health board, because

I didn't get a notice
you were coming.

No sir, my name
is Eli

I'm with manforce.

They sent me last year
to be the Easter Bunny

and now they've sent
me to count the milk.

- That was you?

- I'm gonna have to
ask you to leave

the building immediately.

C)h

it looks like your
pen is leaking.

- That's old, actually.

I don't know when
that happened.

Months ago maybe.

- Come on, let's go.

- Dear Katrina Collins,

Congratulations.

We would like to
invite you

to participate in our
workshops

and audition for
several new

reality television programs.

Please come to the
Beaverton Town Mall

on Wednesday, October 15th

for your chance
to join our team

and audition for
some of the best

and most exciting
reality television shows

being produced today.

Bring a copy of
your most recent

headshois, video audition
tapes, and resumes

as we will be offering
critiques

and analysis
on how you

can improve your
auditioning skills

and become a better
reality TV participant

We look forward
to meeting you.

Sincerely, Joe Prescott.

President,
Talent Services America

Awesome, I better get started.

Okay, I'm gonna need
some supplies.

- Come in.

- Hi, uh, hi.

Mr. Bear?

I'm sorry to bother
you, but

something was donated

that I...l...

I don't think was meant
to be donated.

- Another stash of money?

- No, um.

Its, its a little girl.

- What?

- Well, um, I mean --

- What is that?

- Its the ashes
of a little girl.

- Where did it come from?

- I just found it,
I don't know what

to do with it.

- Well, who knows?
I guess we have to

do something about it.

- Its someone's child.

- Hi, this is Tom Bear
at the East Side

Recieving Center.

We found something
in our donations today

that we are unsure of
what to do with.

- Well, it appears to be
a cremation urn with

a person's remains in it.

Yes. Ashes.

Oh.

Oh, okay.

Hi, Mr. Bradshaw,
this is --

Oh, I see.

Okay.

Thank you very much.

They say we should
contact the police

and let them know

and wait to see
if someone comes to claim it.

- Where,
where do we keep it?

- I suppose you could
put it just right there.

If it were donated
on accident

then the owner
will track it down.

They probably just
don't realize

what they did.

I'll call the police
and report it.

I'll tell them.

- Hey, this is Brian.
Leave me a message.

- Hey, where are you?

Why aren't you
calling me back?

- Hi, this is Brian...

- Have a nice day.

People I swear...

Honey, are you okay?

You look terrible.

- I'm okay, I didn't
sleep very well last night.

Um, do you know what
the story is with

the new dog in pod 14?

- Oh, the poor thing.

Someone just dumped him
here Sunday night.

Tied up to
the front door.

He's in bad shape.

Are you sure
you're okay?

I don't know.

I love you so much.

- I'm excited to meet
your grandma.

- Yeah, she's excited
to meet you, too.

Wait...

Isn't she...
I can't remember if...

- The phone's ringing...

Aren't you going
to answer it?

Yeah.
Where is the phone?

Where's the phone?

Where are my pants?

- Hello?

- Eli...

The phone. Do you
wanna get it?

- What?

- The telephone. I
think its Manforce,

do you want to get it?

- Yeah, hold on.

- The company is called
Metro Estate Movers

and their office is at:

822 Southeast Water
Street.

Your contact
there is Noel.

- Okay. Noel.

822 Southeast Water.

Alright, I'll head
right over.

- Have a good
day at work!

- Thank you.

-822 Southeast --

-228, 467

-822 Southeast
Water Street

- Man, with all
this temping

its almost like
you have a real job.

- Yeah and it
totally sucks, too.

- Aw. So much for
your theory

of the unemployed
blissful life style.

- Yeah, well these
student loan people

are starting to circle
like sharks.

Its starting to look
like I might

need to do something
with my life.

- Like temping?

- That's harsh, Aubrey.

No, I want to be a
subtitute teacher.

But I can't get my
teaching certificate

until I get my degree.

I can't go back
to school until

I get this debt
payed off.

- Sounds like a
viscious cycle.

- Totally.

- If only Chloey
would get me a

production assistant job
on one of her film shoots.

- Wouldn't that go
against your

anti-corporate stance?

After all the crap
you've given me

about working for the
evil corporate

media machine?

- These debt collectors
are making me

rethink the whole
anti-corporate thing.

Or...

Maybe I can just
work on commercials

for bikes.

Or community gardening
centers or something.

- Yeah...

When's the last time
you saw a community

gardening commercial?

- Well, even if
they made those

I doubt they'd be
the jobs that pay

20 bucks an hour

What am I saying?

As if I'll ever make
20 bucks an hour.

Shit, now watch...
I'm gonna be late

for my 9-dollar-an-hour
furniture moving job.

- Hey, its your turn
to take out the

recyclables this week.

And I should have
the bills figured out

in the next day or two.

And tell mystery
roommate if you

see her too.

Oh nice.
Good work.

- Dude, I've got money
to lose. Absolutely.

Correction, I have
money to win.

Thank you very much.

- Is this Metro State Movers?

- Yeah, just hang on
for a minute.

Yeah, I'm game if
you are!

Yeah, I got chips

No, actual betting chips.

I'll bring some doritos,
too. I don't care. Fuck it.

Chips and chicks man,
that's what I'm telling you.

Beer and bitches.
Can't go wrong.

- Hey, is this a
good place to park?

- Sure

- What's wrong with that?

I don't care how
old they are --

alright, that's a lie,
nevermind...

Alright man, I'll
call you back.

Yeah, Hall & Oates
just showed up.

Yeah, I'll call
you back. Later.

Classic.

Let's go.

You're driving, you
have a license, right?

- Yeah

Alright ladies, file in.

- Yeah?
Come in.

- Hi Mr. Bear. I'm
sorry to bother you, but

has anyone called
about the urn?

No, I haven't
heard anything yet, but

I talked to someone
at the police department

and they put a
notice in their

lost and found department.

So I'm sure someone
will call soon.

- What will we do if
no one comes for it?

- I don't think you
have to worry yourself

about that.

Its been reported.

Alright ladies, here's
the deal -

We're going to clear
everything out of this

house today.

And we're gonna
do it in two stages.

First, I'm going to
go through everything

and mark all the
good stuff with a sticker.

This is the stuff
we're going to keep.

It should be
packed up carefully.

Once we have the
good stuff packed up,

we'll get the rest
of the shit loaded

and get the fuck
out of here.

There are boxes
and packing supplies

in the back of
the truck, so why don't

you guys open it up,
and bring that stuff in.

K?

Then go ahead and
get that piece of shit

out of here.

- Whoa, dude.

Shouldn't we warm
up or something

before we lift this?

- Come on, princess.
We got all day

to warm up.

- Alright

- So how long you been
working with this guy?

- Well, I got there two
minutes before you, so

- So you're with Manforce?

Well, I hate to think
of it in terms of

being "with" Manforce, but

yeah, that's who called
me this morning

and turned me on
to this englightening

experience.

- Oh yeah?
Whatever, dude.

Whenever you're ready there,
we can do this.

- My name's Eli,
by the way.

- Dale.

- Pleasure

- So what do we
do with this stuff?

- Either throw it away,
or give it to charity.

If its not obviously
trash,

put it in a box

and write "donation" on it.

- Okay, and the
dirty dishes...

I mean, do you
want to wash them

or throw them out?

- No. Fuck.

Just throw them in
the donation box.

They don't care
if its dirty.

Besides, they hire
retarded people to

clean this stuff.

Don't throw anything
away you don't have to.

It costs money to
take shit to the dump.

But donating shit to
charity is tax deductible

- So what's the deal?
Who left all this

stuff here anyway?

- Some old lady's house
who just died.

Daughter lives in LA
and doesn't have time

to deal with it.

What about stufi
with red stickers then?

I sell them.

On ebay.
I make a killing.

I don't make dick
on the furniture removal.

I underbid everyone
else, just so I can

get to the stuff first.

- So you're the reason
there's nothing cool

at the thrift stores
any more?

So...

Why do you work
temp labor jobs?

I mean, I've never
been able to figure

out why anybody
would want to do this.

- I don't know.

I think I've been
having a hard time

committing to anything.

- Shit, I know how
that is.

But with me -
its women

There's just too
many of them.

Probably one of them now.

This dipshit...

What's up dickweed?

Haha, no, man I'm
moving a house today

Yeah, man, totally
bummed.

Hey sounds good,
bring the babes.

Bitches and hoes,
you know how I roll.

Oh nice!

Dude, I just found
the old lady's

liquor cabinet.

Looks like this is
going to be a

fun weekend.

Hey, hand me
one of those boxes.

Hell yeah, but I ain't
sharing with you bitch.

Yeah, because you're
a fucking lightweight?

Haha

Yeah, keep dreaming.

Damn, I think granny
liked drinking, huh?

Fucking alcoholic bitch.

Good for her.

Alright, leave this here.
Don't touch it.

Start cleaning out
the fridge, just

throw everything in
a big trashbag

I'm going to start going
through this bitch's clothes

Start working on the
bathroom when you're

done with the fridge.

Don't you touch
that fucking liquor.

I don't want that
shit on my truck.

Just leave it on
the curb.

Where's your little
boyfriend?

Huh?

- That other dude, is
he inside taking a shit

or something?

- I don't know, I
thought he was out

here on the truck.

- That shithead.

He's probably inside
jerking off or something.

YO!

Dude, we got work
to do, what the fuck!

Dude, you better not be
sleeping on the job.

- I think his name's Dale.

I don't give a flying fuck!

Oh, God fucking damnit!

Goddamn Fuck.

Jesus Fucking Christ!

Dale, where the fuck
are you?

Dale!

Fuck!

Fucking prick.

Dale, where the fuck
are you?

Jesus titty fucking Christ!

Fucking damnit!

Dale, where the fuck
are you?

God!

I'm not paying shit,
your man just

stole my property
and vanished.

No, I didn't give
it to him, he just

snuck off with a
box full of liquor.

I don't know where
the hell he went!

Manforce, more like
shitforce.

Do you have
anyone working there

who's not a
complete fuck up?

I have no problem
coming down there right now.

No, fuck you!

- Every now and then
I get a little bit lonely

and you never
come around

- Every now and then
I get a little bit tired

listening to the sound
of my tears

Every now and then
I get a little bit

nen/ous that the
best of all the years

have gone by.

Every now and then
I get a little bit

terrified and then I see
the look in your eyes.

Every now and then
I fall apart.

Every now and then
I fall apart

and I need you
more tonight

yeah, I need you more
than ever.

If you only
hold me tight

we'll be holding
on forever.

Yeah, we'll always be
making it right

we can never be
wrong

together we can make
it to the end

of the line

Your love is like
a shadow on me

all the time

Need you tonight.

Always in the dark,

we're living in a powder
cake and giving off

sparks

I really need you tonight.

Forever's going to start
tonight...

Forever's going to start to...

Once upon a time
I was falling in love

Now I'm only falling
apart...

Nothing I can do,
a total eclipse of the heart

- Judy, hey,
Its Katrina

I'm looking at today's
paperwork and it says

that Buster is on
the unadoptable list.

Is this a mistake?

Yeah, dog C57

But it must be a mistake.

Buster's the sweetest
dog here.

Everybody loves Buster.

I know, I know...
Really,

Buster's different.

He really is the
best dog here.

Please you have to
take him off the list.

Fine.

We have to get
you adopted Buster.

- Now I don't know
how much longer

I can handle this
temping.

Why don't you get
me a PA job?

I mean it seems a
whole lot like temping

just better pay and
less crazy people.

- I've told you you need
a car to be a PA.

- And I have Otis's car

- Yeah, I can't really
imagine a producer

being impressed with a
PA who's driving

his grandpa around
everywhere.

Or step-grandpa,
whatever he is...

Being a PA is
a lot of work

Its really stressful.

If there's one thing
you've made clear

its that you don't
like working.

- Well, I suppose I
can't argue with that.

I still think this
whole "have to

have a car" thing
is kind of fascist, though

Y'know I just need
to make some money

so I can go back
to school

This working stufi
is killing me.

So where's Aubrey?

I know you didn't
plan this meal for me.

We got in a
big fight last night.

And now she's
giving me the silent

treatment.

She totally freaked
out about my

new Myspace persona.

- Don't you guys have
like 80 of those?

- This one got her
really jealous

for some reason.

You know how
irrational she gets

sometimes.

I've been
corresponding with this

one particular guy
who's like a

45-year-old
high school teacher

and he thinks I'm
one of his students.

- Yeah, see Chloey,
that is a little

fucked up.

- I know but

its like I've gotten
addicted to performing

under a fake persona.

When I shed
my identity I

can do anything.

- Yeah, actually, I
know how that goes.

But for me its
karaoke.

Diamond Dave on
the mic.

Here I am...

Rock you like a hurricane

- When's the last time
you actually sang karaoke?

Excluding all the times
that you practice

in your bedroom, of course.

- What?

Are you stoned or
something? I do not

practice karaoke in my
bedroom.

- Whatever. I guess
you just get so

swept up by the
emotional power of

Total Eclipse of the
Hean

you don't realize you're
belting it out at

the top of your lungs.

- Total Eclipse of the
Heart is one of

the most underrated
songs of all time.

- I know, I know.

But seriously when
is the last time

you actually went out
and sang karaoke?

I go out. I go out
and do karaoke

all the time.

Remember that night
at the Alibi

when those girls tried
to depants me?

I had the whole
place singing along.

- Yeah, that was a
good night for you.

But it was like
two years ago.

Have you actually
sang karaoke

since then? Publicly?

- Well, you know,
I don't want to

wear out my audience
or anything.

- Oh, yes. I can
definitely see the

danger in that.

- I'm sorry to bother
you, Mr. Bear, but

Has there been
any calls about Kelly?

'Kelly?

- Well, um, you
know, the urn.

The ashes of the
little girl.

- Oh. No, no
one's called.

You know, its
possible the owner

passed away.

I wouldn't worry
yourself about it.

Its been reported, so

let headquarters deal
with it.

HS H01 OUT COFICGTFI.

- Yes, Mr. Bear.

Crap

- That looks so good
on you.

- You like it?

- Oh, I love it.

- I saw Brian today
with his new girlfriend.

This all happened so fast.

I have to stop
checking his e-mail.

I need to think
of something else

and just get my
mind off this.

I need to work
on my audition video.

I need to stay
focused on that.

- I found this sign
for a missing urn

that someone at the
thrift store found

At first I thought
it was kind of funny

but now I just think
its really sad...

I wonder how many
urns get lost.

- I guess an urn
is like a family

heirloom or something.

But I wouldn't want
something like that

handed down to me.

Its a lot of
responsibility having

an urn.

You can't just throw
it away or

sell it at a garage
sale or something

Maybe that's what
happened with this one.

Maybe it was too
much for someone

and it got too
sad, and they had

to push it away.

I don't know

It'd be sad
to be the person

in there.

Like some sad ghost
that nobody wanted

around any more.

Kind of like the
dogs on the

unadoptable list.

OK,
Hold on a second.

Hey!
Wake Up!

I got a
job for you.

A P.A. job.

- What time is it?

- I got a P.A.
job for you

Are you available
tomorrow?

Just say "yes."

- Available?

Yeah, sure...

OK. I think
he can do it.

I'll fill him in
and call you back.

Alright, bye.

OK, check
it out dude...

I got the
perfect P.A. job

for you.

We're shooting
a commercial

on the coast,
on Friday

on the beach,

and the director
just realized

that the look
of the beach

is going to
change all day

as the tide
comes in.

So we need
someone to go

out there and
get footage of it

at various times
throughout the day

and then bring
the tapes back

so he can
see it.

- OK, now...
What is it?

- Sounds perfect, right?

You can even
bring Otis along!

He can keep
you company.

- OK, you want me
to drive out to

the coast, and
videotape a beach

all day?

- Yeah. A specific
beach. But, yeah.

- And I get paid
to do this?

- Yep. Standard rate.
Two hundred a day.

- Two Hundred bucks?

- Yeah. And they'll
even give you

gas money. And
you can use

my camera.

- OK... So what's the
commercial about?

Some life insurance
company...

It's just going to
be like a typical

American family hanging
out on the beach

while some voiceover
talks about

protecting the ones
you love.

- Whoa...

This sounds like
the sort of

fucked up shit I'm
totally qualified to do.

- OK. good!

But this is for
real, man.

You can't
mess around.

It's my ass
on the line.

You've got to
be out there

really early.
Like 7:00 a.m.

Come back when
the sun sets,

and give me
the tapes.

- OK.

- Are you
positive you can

get Otis' car?

- Yeah. Probably.

I mean it's not
like he has

anything else
going on. So...

OK. I've got
to go...

I'll see you
tonight,

and I'll give
you my camera.

- OK, cool.

- OK.

Hello, this is Chloe.

[Phone rings.]

Otis, pick up
the phone...

Crap.

[Knocks on door.]

[Knocks on door.]

Otis?

Otis...

Otis. It's me, Eli...

You left your front
door unlocked again.

Otis?

Otis?

Otis.

Otis.

[Laughs to himself]

Otis.

Hey.

Well, hello there

- What are you
doing back here?

- Well I was doing
some recording

and this is the
quietest place

in the house.

- Cool. What are
you recording?

- I was doing a
narration for the

soap film.

- Oh, cool...

- Yeah.

You uhh,

want to go
in the kitchen?

- Sure.

- Look at
these images

that I,

that I recorded
yesterday.

They're amazing.

- Man...

- You know, the
world of soap...

It's...

It's incredible.

That there are
whole worlds

inside there.

That. That one there...

It's no bigger
than a fingernail.

- Otis, it's really,
really cool.

It looks great.

- So Katrina...

Why do you
want to be

on a reality
television show?

Well...

I guess when
you're on

a reality T.V. show.

It just seems like

everything is more important

When somebody has a
breakdown it's really

sad and dramatic.

And everybody feels
really bad for the person

When you have a
breakdown by yourself

it's just sad.

No one really notices

OF cares

I hear you've been
going through

a difficult breakup

Would you like
to talk about that?

It's been the worst
experience of my life.

I went from being
totally in love

to toally heartbroken

in a matter
of hours.

I caught him
cheating on me.

And how did
you catch him

cheating on you?

I know the password
to his email account

I figured it out
by reading emails

that he sent to
his best friend.

He has the same
password for everything.

His emails, his MySpace,

his bank account.

I figured it out
a long time ago,

but

I didn't make
it a habit

of spying on him.

Just a couple
times when he

was acting strange.

I guess I never
really did trust him.

And are you still
spying on him?

Yeah...

I guess so.

I know I shouldn't be

but I can't help it.

Why?

What is it that
you hope to find?

I guess I just want
to find some indiction

that he misses me,

that he feels bad
and guilty,

and that he thinks he
made a mistake.

And is that what
you've found?

No.

It's been the
exact opposite.

It's like,

being able to read
somebody's mind,

but only finding out
things that you

wish you didn't
know about.

What is it that you
want to do with your life?

Right now I just want
to get out of my head.

I want to turn
these thoughts off.

I can't stop
thinking about this.

This is driving me crazy.

And is that why

you want to be on
a reality T.V. show?

- Here we are, on
the beach. 7:30 a.m.

Cold and misty here,
on the beach.

[Turns off camera.]

Whew...

It's chilly
out there man.

- I bet it is.

- OK, so if I have
to go out there

every half hour...

That basically means,

8:05 I'll go back out.

- You know, your
grandma and I

came here once.

Well, a whole bunch
of us did,

from the center.

That was when they
were doing those,

those "field trips."

- Wait, you came to
this exact spot?

- Yeah.

I remember...
I remember that rock.

- Which one? The big one?

- Yeah.

- Huh. You know, I
think I actually

I think I remember
her talking about that.

That trip.

- She loved to go
out in the world.

- Oh she loved it.
Any kind of road trip...

- Yeah.

- She was fun.

You look nice today, Otis.

That's a great suit
you have on there.

- Oh, well...

[Chuckle] Thank you, Eli.

I thought I should

look my best.

- So what's this?

- Oh it's the, uhh...

It's the soap film.

- Oh, yeah...

- So you finished it?

[Laughs to himself]

- I don't know whether
it'll ever be finished,

but uhh, that's the sample.

- Cool.

- I was wondering...

Do you think
we could...

give that to one of
the people from the

film company?

Oh...

Y'know, its just
us today.

Yeah, they're coming
out on Friday to

do the commercial,
but its just you

and me today.

You know, I could
give that to Chloey though

and maybe she can
pass it on to them.

.OkaV-

- Is that why you got
all dressed up today, then?

- No, no...

-ls Chloey your
girlfriend?

- No, nope.
She's ah...

She's my roommate.

She got me
this job though.

We're just friends.

- Do you uh...

Do you have a
girlfriend now?

- No, I don't.

"Why not?

- Well, I...
y'know...

I think its just...
Its hard to meet people.

Y'know?

And I have a
bad habit of

falling in love
with lesbians.

Lesbians?

- Yeah. You know,
lesbians, like, um

women who like
other women.

- Oh, right. Right.
Lesbians.

- How about you?

Any new love interests?

- Oh...

No, no more for me.

Eli, I'm through
dating.

- Yeah? I thought,
ah,

there must be a lot
of nice ladies at the

senior center.

Who would love to
be your dance partner.

- I've loved two...

two amazing women
in my life

I outlived both
of them.

I can't go through
that again.

- I'm sorry man,
I was just..

I guess I was kidding
or something...

- No, its okay.

- Y'know, when my
grandpa died

I was so worried
about my grandma.

Just...scared that
she would be alone

and lonely...and sad
for the rest of her life.

Y'know?

And then you
came along and

you were so
good to her.

I mean, you
picked her up.

And made her so happy

you really took
care of her.

- Y'know I've just
always wanted to

thank you for that.

- It was good
for both of us.

- We'd, we'd both been
through the same

thing and...

well we

we helped each
other get over it.

- Yeah.

- Hi, I'm Katrina
Collins - I got this

letter in the mail.

Is this where
I'm suppose to be?

- Yeah, this is the place.

Just get in line
over there.

- Hello? Yes, hi.

I'm sorry to
bother you.

I'm calling to find
out if anyone

at this number knew,
or was related to,

Kelly Ann Langston.

Kelly...Ann...Langston

I'm calling to see if

anyone at this number
may have known her.

No, no, its okay.

I'm sorry to bother
you...

Thank you...

- The question, I know

that each and everyone
of you is asking

yourself right now is...

Do I have what
it takes

to be on
reality television?

Well, I'm here
to tell you

that the answer...

is yes!

Okay?

Yes to you...

Yes to you...

Yes to you...

Yeah, yes to you...

Yes to all of you.

See, because the very
fact that you're here

right now means that
you've passed

the first test, which is...

Does this person
have the motivation

to do it?

I know - there's a lot
of people out there

they talk and
they talk

about doing it, alright?

But you got out
of bed this

morning and stood up
and said

I am going to do it!

Right? Okay, so why

why don't you say
that to me right now?

"I am going to do it!"

- I am going to do it!

'Again!

I am going to do it!

Huh?

- I am going to do it!

- OK.

So now does anyone
else have any more

questions about motivation?

[Chuckles]
I didn't think so.

OK, so now we know
we have the motivation

But now...

How do we know

if we have that
special something?

That certain thing

that reality T.v.
show directors

are looking for.

That's what we're here
to talk about, today.

That

is why Talent Services America

is here, in Beaverton Oregon.

OK?

OK, did everyone bring

their headshots
and audition videos?

I hope so, OK?

Because we're going to
be looking at those

and we're going
to be going over

the detailed specifics

about how you can
present yourself

in ways that you
never thought possible.

OK?

[Music From Instructional
Video Begins Playing]

- I like traveling,

SCUBA diving, volleyball,

and pretty much all
sons of adventure.

So please consider me
for your reality T.V. show.

Because I won't let you down!

Chrissy...

that

W8.S

excellent.

OK?

You looked great.

I really felt like I
got to know you

and

you're clearly a natural.

The camerawork was
a little bit shaky

but that's nothing
we can't fix.

OK?

But what I'd
really like to know

is what would
happen if one of our

Hollywood makeup artists

got their hands on you.

OK?

Don't get me wrong,
you look great.

But.

Like I was telling
Tina earlier,

video cameras can
be very unforgiving

OK? That's why it's
important that we

have a professional
makeup artist

IO GVGFI OUI "16 SCOTS.

OK? But excellent,
excellent work.

- Thank you so much.

Making the video
was so much fun.

It was like I was keeping
a diary, or something.

- Yeah.

Yeah, well, you
really revealed yourself.

OK? That's tough.

I should know.

Really, really good work.

So, who do we have next?

[Clears Throat]

Katrina Collins?

Katrina, where you at?

Oh, OK...

Well, let's see what
you've got for us.

- Hi. My name is
Katrina Collins.

I live in Port

- We'll just skip
through the intro

since we're
pressed for time.

- Gured out why
I want to be on

a reality T. V.
show so badly.

At first I thought
it would just be fun

like this big adventure
I could go on,

and my friends could watch.

And now it's different

Reading Brian's email
is like watching him

on reality T.V.

I think I want him to
see me in the same way.

I want him to see
me moving on

and having fun.

- What's that on her head?

[Crowd laughs]

- And maybe I want
him to be jealous.

I don't know.
I don't want him to

completely forget about me.

OK.

Here is an example

of a video that
is very heartfelt,

but might not be

best suited for
an audition tape.

Katrina,

I'd really like to see what
you could come up with,

with one of our

professional
videographers.

We really want
to figure out

what you're all about.

OK?

Like, what drives Katrina?

Alright?

Plus I think you could
use a little bit of help

with makeup and wardrobe,

just to bring out
your inner beauty. OK?

But uhh, I love the
crazy bear hat

that you were wearing,
though.

I mean, where on Earth
did you find that, huh?

[Laughs to himself]

[Makes growling noises]

OK, now we're getting
close to lunchtime

so what I want to do
now is share with you

some information about
becoming a member

of our team.

And I also want to talk
to you about

a special deal that
you won't find listed

on these sheets.

We decided that, today
only, we're going to

ofier a special deal
that includes our

full representation
package,

with headshois and
video audition tape,

all for the phenomenally
ridiculous price of

One hundred and
ninety nine dollars.

OK. We take all major
credit cards

and we get
started today.

Yeah.

- Are we going to
actually audition for

any shows today?

- That's the
beauty of it.

When you sign
up with us

you're actually
auditioning for

several shows at once.

OK?

And I personally make sure

that your information

is put in front of the
top casting directors

in the business

- But we have to
pay for this stuff first?

- Well, think about it
like you're making

an investment
in your future.

Kind of like
going to college.

OK. So once you
fill out your forms

give them back
to us,

and then we're going
to break for lunch.

Be back here by
one o'clock.

There is a fantastic
food court outside.

And I think there's a

And I think there's a

meatball sandwhich
in my future.

I can smell
my name on it.

- Hey, look.

Is that woman,

is that woman
spreading ashes?

She is, look.

- Yeah.

That's how I
want to go.

Just spread my
ashes on the water.

Matter of fact, this
would be a good place.

- Now Otis, you can't
go dying on me.

Who's car would
I borrow?

- Well it won't be
too long, Eli.

What are you
talking about?

You're doing great.

What, you're only 84.

I bet you'll live to be
100 before you know it.

Oh God, I hope not.

I don't want to be 100.

You know I've seen
a lot of things in my life

and met a lot of people

I've had a good life.

- You know what?
I better get out there.

- Oh yeah. It's 10:05.

- Yeah. The tide is
coming in too.

Alright, another shot here.

[Listens to message
on answering machine]

Hey Eli, it's Chloe.

So hey, the director got
excited about the color

of the changing leaves
and decided to

change the
commercial to a

Sunday drive
through the forest.

So, sorry you spent all
day out there for nothing.

I mean, don't worry

you'll still get
paid and all.

I would've called you
on your cell phone,

but you don't
have a cell phone.

But yeah, sorry about

all of the food
in the kitchen.

That's for the
shoot tomorrow,

so don't eat it. Bye.

- Welcome to the world
of the unbelievable.

Join us as we explore
the fascinating world

of soap film

and all its
splendid charms

We have replaced a
standard hand-held

magnifier with a
video camera

in order to capture the
natural, unfettered

beauty unique to soap film.

[Turns off video]

.H6y-

I haven't seen you
in a while.

I was starting to think

you didn't live here any more.

- Thanks.

- How's it going?

OK. I guess

- Are you collecting
stuffed animals now?

- No.

These are for
a new project.

I'm going to make
things with them.

I realized today that I
totally need to change

what I'm doing
with my life.

- Ah. I know
what you mean.

I think I had one
of those days too.

- Have you, uhh.
Umm.

Nevermind.

.H6y-

Huh?

- Nothing

- Have you ever
had your heart broken?

- Yeah. I think so.

- How long does it last?

And how long does
it take to get better?

- I don't know.

I mean, it depends,
I guess.

Sometimes I think it
might just last forever.

- I hope not.

- Umm. Hey.

You want to go get
lunch tomorrow?

There's this really
great Thai place

I was planning
on going to.

- Maybe.

I like Thai food.