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>> LADIES AND GENTLEMEN...

AND ALL OF THE REST OF YOU...

WELCOME TO THE MISS TENNESSEE

ENTERTAINER OF THE YEAR PAGEANT!

IF YOU TAKE A GIRL HOME

TONIGHT AND YOU FIND THAT HER CLITORIS IS JUST A TOUCH

TOO PROMINENT, AND HER OVARIES ARE HANGING REALLY LOW,

YOU MIGHT'VE ENDED UP WITH ONE OF OUR CONTESTANTS.

>> LET US MEET OUR JUDGES.

STAND UP, JUDGES.

GIVE THEM A HAND.

AND WHAT ABOUT THESE MOTHERFUCKERS, HMM?

SIT DOWN, YOU'RE BORING.

AND NOW...

WITHOUT FURTHER ADO-- THAT'S FRENCH FOR "NO MORE

FUCKING AROUND, LET'S GO ON WITH THE SHOW"--

LADIES AND GERMS, OUR FIRST CONTESTANT--

MISS CALPERNIA ADDAMS!

NEVER KNOW HOW MUCH

NEVER KNOW HOW MUCH I CARE

AROUND ME

THAT'S SO HARD TO BEAR

WHEN YOU KISS ME

HOLD ME TIGHT

IN THE MORNING

THE NIGHT

MOON LIGHTS UP THE NIGHT

WHEN YOU CALL MY NAME

TREAT YOU RIGHT

I'M GONNA TELL YOU

A STORY.

IT'S A SIMPLE STORY, ALTHOUGH THE DETAILS MAY SEEM TO SOME

BIZARRE, PERHAPS EVEN SENSATIONAL.

LIKE ALL GREAT STORIES, IT'S A LOVE STORY.

AND, LIKE ALL GREAT STORIES, IT'S TERRIBLY TRAGIC.

YOU ALL KNOW

SUCH A NEW THING

THE CENTER OF THIS STORY-- THE MAIN CHARACTER,

AS THEY SAY--BUT I'M NOT.

TRUE, I GLITTER MORE THAN OTHERS, AND I ADMIT I'VE

ALWAYS CRAVED THE SPOTLIGHT.

I GET THE ATTENTION 'CAUSE I'M FLASHY, LIKE THE GOWNS

I WEAR.

I'M THE RHINESTONES OF THIS STORY.

BUT THE TRUE HERO OF THIS STORY--HE WAS

AS QUIET AND AS SOLID AS A CHANEL SUIT.

WHAT A LOVELY WAY TO BURN

AND, LIKE ALL GREAT AMERICANS, HE WAS BORN

IN MISSOURI.

>> WELCOME TO FORT CAMPBELL,

SOLDIER.

THIS IS ONE SWEET CAR YOU GOT.

>> THANK YOU.

THESE ARE, UH, MY ORDERS TO REPORT TO THE 502.

>> HERE.

JUST TAKE THIS MAIN ROAD.

AND THAT'S THE 502.

>> AT EASE, PRIVATE.

I SEE YOU HAD A LITTLE TROUBLE IN BASIC.

>> NO, SERGEANT.

>> LATE TO FORMATION.

SLOPPY QUARTERS, UNIFORM.

>> I GUESS I HAD TO ADJUST.

>> WE'LL, START OVER.

CLEAN SLATE.

SO, PRIVATE WINCHELL, WHAT ARE YOU GOOD FOR?

CAN YOU HANDLE ARTILLERY?

>> I DON'T KNOW, SERGEANT.

>> EVER SHOT A WEAPON BEFORE YOU WENT INTO BASIC?

>> NO, SERGEANT.

>> NO B.B. GUNS? YOU DIDN'T GO HUNTING WITH YOUR DADDY?

>> NO, SERGEANT.

MY MOTHER HATES GUNS.

BUT I THINK I CAN HANDLE IT, SERGEANT.

>> WE NEED AN ASSISTANT GUNNER ON A 40-MILLIMETER GRENADE

LAUNCHER--IT'S A BIG WEAPON, BUT YOU'RE A BIG BOY.

>> YES, SERGEANT.

>> HERE'S THE MANUAL.

ONE OTHER THING--ANY PROBLEMS I SHOULD KNOW ABOUT?

DRINKING? DRUGS? GIRLS?

>> NO, SERGEANT.

>> ARE YOU SURE?

THIS IS WHERE YOU WANT TO BRING YOUR PROBLEMS.

NOT TO YOUR UNIT, NOT TO THE FIELD.

'CAUSE I DON'T WANT TO HEAR ABOUT IT FROM THE M.P.'s.

>> I USED TO GO OVERBOARD WITH THE ALCOHOL.

>> YOU NEED COUNSELING?

>> NO, SERGEANT.

THOSE DAYS ARE BEHIND ME.

>> OKAY.

I'LL BE WATCHING YOU.

GO SETTLE INTO YOUR BARRACKS.

DISMISSED.

>> SO, BASICALLY, YOU'RE TALKIN' ABOUT ROBBIN' A BANK?

WHICH, OF COURSE, YOU'RE AN EXPERT ON, BEING THE

NOTED, WORLD-FAMOUS MASTERMIND CRIMINAL THAT YOU ARE.

>> YEAH, AS I WAS SAYING, GUYS,

GET YOUR ACCOUNT NUMBERS, GO ONLINE, YOU CAN TRANSFER

FUNDS.

I'VE SEEN PEOPLE DO IT.

I SEEN BROTHERS GET PAID.

>> MILLENS, YOU CAN'T EVEN RETRIEVE YOUR FUCKIN' EMAIL.

>> FUCK YOU, PAY ME.

>> WHO ARE YOU?

>> BARRY.

>> HEY, EVERYBODY!

IT'S BARRY!

WELL, COME IN, BARRY.

UH, I THINK HE NEEDS A BEER.

GET HIM A BEER. WANT A BEER?

NOW, DON'T GET TOO EXCITED, BARRY.

JUST RELAX, TAKE A FEW DEEP BREATHS, POP OPEN

A BREWSKIE, HAVE A DRINK.

NOW, BARRY, I HAVE ONE MORE QUESTION FOR YOU.

YOU'RE BARRY-THE-FUCK-WHO?

>> All: HOO-AH!

>> WINCHELL.

ROBBIN' A BANK'S THE STUPIDEST CRIME THERE IS.

>> IS THAT SO?

>> HIGHEST RATED CAPTURE AND CONVICTION.

>> All: OHH!

>> WHO'S THE GANGSTER NOW?

>> WHICH BED IS MINE?

>> THAT WOULD BE THAT BED.

MAYBE YOU WERE HOPING FOR SOMETHING WITH A BETTER VIEW?

THE DELUXE SUITE, MAYBE?

>> THIS IS FUCKIN' RIDICULOUS.

I'M OUT OF HERE.

>> YEAH, ME, TOO.

>> WHAT? WHERE ARE YOU GOING?

>> LAUNDRY, MAN.

>> WAIT, UH...WHY DON'T YOU STICK AROUND, BAKER?

>> I'M GONNA GO CALL MY GAL, FISHER.

>> MAN, YOU'RE SO PUSSY-WHIPPED.

>> FUCK YOU, PAY ME.

I TOLD YOU, I DON'T CALL HER TWICE A WEEK, I GOT NOTHIN'

WHEN I GO HOME.

>> TAKE IT EASY, BARRY.

>> SEE YOU, BARRY.

>> SEE YOU, BARRY.

>> HEY...

WHAT, YOU CAN'T READ?

NO REGULATIONS AGAINST SMOKING ON THE BARRACKS. THIS IS--

>> YOU CAN'T SMOKE IN MY ROOM,

GOMER PYLE.

I'M ALLERGIC.

>> THAT'S WHAT ALL THE MEDICATION'S FOR?

>> NO DIRTY DISHES IN THE SINK.

YOU DON'T USE MY TOWELS.

YOU WILL SPRAY THE SHOWER STALL WITH LYSOL EVERY TIME

YOU USE IT.

YOU DON'T JERK OFF WHEN I'M IN THE ROOM, NOT EVEN IF YOU

THINK I'M ASLEEP, NOT EVEN IF YOU THINK I'M DEAD.

WHEN SOMEBODY ASKS YOUR NAME, YOU SAY, "WINCHELL,"

NOT "BARRY."

NO FIRST NAMES IN THE INFANTRY, NOT UNLESS YOU WANT

EVERYONE TO THINK YOU'RE A PUSSY, A MAMA'S BOY,

NO-BALLS BITCH, OR JUST A PLAIN, GARDEN VARIETY

ASSHOLE.

>> THANK YOU.

>> YOU'LL FIND OUT, BARRY.

BASIC...IS ONE THING.

ANYBODY CAN GET THROUGH THAT.

BUT THE AIRBORNE INFANTRY-- THAT'S WHERE THE ARMY CUTS

THE WHEAT FROM THE CHAFF.

HOO-AH!

TAKE CARE, BARRY.

>> HURRY UP!

>> WHAT TIME--WHAT TIME IS IT?

>> IT'S 0900. YOU'RE GONNA BE LATE FOR FORMATION.

>> FUCK!

>> YOU ARE DAMN NEAR LATE,

FISHER!

YOU ARE TO FALL IN AT 0900!

IS THAT CLEAR, YOU LITTLE MAGGOTS?!

WHERE THE FUCK IS WINCHELL?

WHO SPEARHEADED THE D-DAY ASSAULT?

>> SCREAMING EAGLES, SERGEANT!

>> YOU'RE NOT COUNTING!

>> 76!

>> WHO DIED ON HAMBURGER HILL?

>> SCREAMING EAGLES, SERGEANT!

>> YOU'RE NOT COUNTING!

>> 77!

>> DO YOU DESERVE TO BE CALLED A SCREAMING EAGLE?!

>> NO, SERGEANT!

>> WHY IS THAT?!

>> BECAUSE I'M AN ASSHOLE, SERGEANT!

>> YOU'RE WHAT?

>> AN ASSHOLE, SERGEANT!

>> A WHAT?!

>> AN ASSHOLE, SERGEANT!

>> YOU'RE NOT DOIN' ANY PUSHUPS!

>> NO, SIR!

>> KEEP GOING, SOLDIER!

>> YES, SIR!

>> HOW MANY IS THAT?

>> 98!

>> HOW MANY MORE YOU GOT?

>> TWO MORE.

>> IF YOU'RE LUCKY!

I DON'T THINK YOU'RE GONNA MAKE IT, WINCHELL!

ALL RIGHT, GET UP.

PICK IT UP!

>> ALL RIGHT, ON YOUR FEET!

>> WE'RE MOVIN' OUT!

>> GET THAT GEAR ON!

MOVE OUT!

LET'S GO! GO!

>> HEY, WINCHELL, DON'T THINK ABOUT YOUR FEET, MAN.

>> GUESS YOU'RE OUT OF SHAPE, BARRY.

>> YOU TIRED ALREADY, WINCHELL?

>> COME ON, ASSHOLE.

YOU DROP OUT, AND WE ALL GET IN SHIT.

I DON'T FEEL LIKE DOIN' ANY FUCKIN' PUSHUPS.

>> OR LATRINE DETAIL.

>> PICK UP YOUR KNEES, BARRY.

>> WHERE'S THAT NEW KID?

>> YOU MEAN WINCHELL?

>> YEAH.

>> WELL, WE BEAT HIM UP PRETTY BAD.

I DON'T KNOW.

>> LET'S SEE IF HE'S GOT WHAT IT TAKES.

HEY, WINCHELL.

IS THIS TOO TOUGH FOR YOU?

HOW DO YOU THINK YOU'D MOVE WITH ENEMY BULLETS BEING FIRED

UP YOUR FAT ASS?

DO YOU THINK THAT WOULD MAKE YOU MOVE AND FASTER?!

YOU LARD-ASS SHITHEAD!

GO FASTER!

GET ON YOUR FEET, BOY!

RIGHT, WINCHELL WANTS TO MOVE AT DOUBLE-TIME!

DOUBLE-TIME, WINCHELL!

>> All: HUH!

>> PICK IT UP!

>> HUH!

>> KEEP IT UP! KEEP IT UP!

MOVE THOSE FEET!

WINCHELL'S NOT DONE YET!

I SEE YOU SLOWING DOWN!

MOVE IT! MOVE IT! MOVE IT!

DON'T SLOW DOWN!

>> All: YES, SIR!

>> MOVE! MOVE! MOVE! MOVE!

>> >> I WANT ABSOLUTE NOISE

AND LIGHT DISCIPLINE.

NO SMOKING.

BAKER, MILLENS, YOU'RE ON L.P.

I'LL SPIN YOU GUYS IN TWO.

YOU, YOU, AND YOU-- YOU'RE ON PERIMETER DEFENSE.

MOVE OUT.

>> HEY, FISHER, YOU TELL THE SARGE WINCHELL'S M.I.A.?

>> OH, YEAH, WAIT, WAIT.

GUYS, GATHER BACK UP.

LISTEN UP. I REPORTED MY UNIT ALL PRESENT AND ACCOUNTED FOR.

I MEAN, I DON'T WANT TO GO OUT THERE AND LOOK FOR

WINCHELL'S SORRY ASS.

PERSONALLY, I'M TIRED.

HOW ABOUT YOU, MILLENS?

>> GIVE ME A BREAK, FISH.

I'M BEAT, MAN, COME ON.

>> BAKER?

>> I AIN'T FUCKIN' GOIN' NOWHERE.

>> Sergeant: RISE AND SHINE, YOU MAGGOTS!

DROP YOUR DICKS AND GET ON YOUR FEET!

WE'RE MOVIN' OUT!

MOVE IT!

MOVE IT!

>> MOVE YOUR ASS!

>> DON'T LET ME TELL YOU AGAIN!

>> HEH. WHERE HAVE YOU BEEN?

>> All: OHH!

>> WHAT?

>> WELL, WELL, WELL.

>> YOU'RE LUCKY, WINCHELL.

THAT COULD'VE BEEN MY ASS.

>> GOOD MORNING, LADIES!

YOU GOT FIVE MINUTES TO GET YOUR SHIT TOGETHER,

AND THAT WAS TEN MINUTES AGO!

NOW, LET'S MOVE IT, AND I MEAN NOW!

>> OHH, TOUGH GUY.

I LIKE THAT.

I LIKE IT. THAT'S MY BOY.

HA HA HA HA!

COME ON, WINCHELL, TAKE IT.

YOU DIDN'T HAVE ANYTHING TO EAT. GO AHEAD.

>> INFANTRY IS NUMBER ONE

>> TILL THE JOB IS DONE

>> TILL THE JOB IS DONE

>>

>> FUCKING DISGRACE.

WINCHELL.

FUCKIN' WAKE UP.

WINCHELL!

>> ARE WE ON ALERT?

>> NO, NO ALERT, MAN.

YOU GOTTA CLEAN YOUR AREA, MAN.

AIRBORNE INFANTRY DOES NOT LIVE LIKE THIS.

YOU'RE A DISGRACE.

>> IT'S 2:30 IN THE MORNING.

>> YOU WANT TO HEAR SOME FUCKED-UP SHIT, MAN?

MY EX IS MOVING TO HAWAII, AND SHE'S TAKING MY KID.

HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO SEE MY SON IF THE FUCKIN' BITCH

TAKES HIM TO HAWAII?

>> YOU HAVE A KID?

>> YEAH. HE'S TWO YEARS OLD.

YOU WANT TO SEE A PICTURE?

>> SURE.

>> HE'S CUTE.

>> HE'S GOOD-LOOKING.

THAT'S DERRICK.

I LOVE THIS KID.

REALLY DO.

DID YOU QUALIFY ON YOUR WEAPON YET?

>> NO.

>> YOU CANNOT LET THE COMPANY DOWN.

EVERYONE HAS TO PERFORM AT THE UPPER LIMIT

OF THEIR CAPABILITY, OR WE DIE.

WHAT'S HOLDING YOU BACK?

>> LISTEN, FISH...

I CAN'T GET THROUGH THE MANUAL.

DON'T TELL ANYONE, BUT I'M L.D.

>> LEARNING DISABLED.

THAT'S COOL.

I'M A.D.H.D.

A LITTLE O.C.D.

HEY, YOU WANT A RITALIN?

IT HELPS YOU REALLY FOCUS.

>> NO, THANK YOU.

>> YOU SURE?

I GOT LOADS.

>>

>> WELL...

LET'S CLEAN UP THIS PLACE, THEN WE'LL STUDY YOUR MANUAL.

>> IT'S 2:30 IN THE MORNING!

>> NO, NO, NO, NO.

YOU STRAIGHTEN UP, AND I'LL SWEEP.

LET'S GO, COME ON, COME ON.

>> WHAT'S THAT THING YOU HAVE WITH MILLENS, WHEN YOU SAY,

"FUCK YOU, PAY ME"?

>> IT'S FROM GOODFELLAS.

>> THE MOVIE ABOUT THE MAFIA?

>> THE BEST FUCKIN' MOVIE EVER MADE.

IT'S ABOUT THE ONLY THING THAT MATTERS--LOYALTY AMONG MEN.

>> Calpernia: YOU MAY BE WONDERING WHEN I ENTER

THE STORY.

HOW CAN I TELL

IS IT IN HIS EYES?

YOU'LL BE DECEIVED

OH, NO

IF YOU WANT TO KNOW

IT'S IN HIS KISS

OH, YEAH

OH, NO

IN HIS WARM EMBRACE?

THAT'S JUST HIS ARMS

IF HE LOVES YOU SO

THAT'S WHERE IT IS

IT'S IN HIS KISS

OH, OH, OH, HUG HIM

AND FIND OUT WHAT YOU

THE BOYS CAME TO THE CLUB ON THAT PARTICULAR EVENING.

OF COURSE, IT'S MY NATURE TO ATTRIBUTE THESE THINGS

TO DESTINY.

>> HOW ARE YOU TONIGHT?

>> HEY, FISH, I THINK THAT WAITER KNOWS YOU.

>> IN HIS DREAMS.

YOU'RE GONNA LOVE THIS PLACE, WINCHELL.

I THINK IT'S JUST YOUR SPEED.

>> OH, YEAH? WHAT'S THAT SUPPOSED TO MEAN?

>> THIS IS ANOTHER INSANE FISHER-STYLE ADVENTURE, RIGHT?

>> SIT DOWN, BAKER.

JESUS CHRIST, AREN'T YOU SICK AND TIRED OF HOOTERS?

>> NO.

>> I'M TRYING TO BROADEN YOUR HORIZONS.

>> RELAX, BOYS, NOBODY'S GONNA BITE YOU--NOT UNLESS YOU

WANT THEM TO.

>> ASHLEY USED TO WORK IN A GAY BAR.

>> THIS IS A GAY BAR?

>> THIS IS A TEST.

>> A TEST OF WHAT?

>> OF CHARACTER.

>> >> HE'S BLUSHING.

I LOVE CHER!

>> NICE TITS.

HOW MUCH DID THEY COST?

>> OH.

>> HEY, THAT'S--THAT'S GOOD.

HOT.

>> DO YOU WANT TO ORDER SOMETHING?

>> TEQUILA!

>> TEQUILA!

>> BOYS! HOO-AH!

>> AAH!

>> WHOO! YEAH!

COME ON, BABY!

COME ON, BABY!

FEEL YOU BY MY SIDE...

>> FUCKING GUYS!

THEY'RE ALL GUYS!

>> IT'S NOT--IT'S NOT A GUY.

>> IT'S A GUY.

>> IT FUCKIN' CAN'T BE.

>> IT'S A FUCKIN' GUY!

THEY'RE ALL FUCKIN' GUYS!

ALL OF 'EM!

I WILL WASH AWAY YOUR PAIN

AND DROWN YOUR FEAR

>> THAT'S NOT A GIRL!

EVERY PLACE THAT I WALK IN

EVERY TIME I'M TALKING

AND I WILL NEVER

FEEL PAIN FOR YOU

AND BLEED MY ACHING HEART

I WILL LIE FOR YOU

I WILL CRAWL ON HANDS

UNTIL YOU SEE...

>> YOU LIKE THAT?

I AM MISSING

THAT I'M LIVING

AND I CAN BE IGNORED

>> HEY, SWEETIE!

WE WANT TO TALK TO YOU!

>> DON'T GET HER OVER HERE.

>> WHAT'S YOUR PROBLEM?

YOU A FAG-HATER?

>> NO, I AM NOT A FAGGOT-HATER.

BUT SHE HAS TITS!

>> WE'LL RESEARCH.

LET'S RESEARCH THE SITUATION.

WINCHELL HERE IS POINT MAN.

YOUR MISSION--IF YOU CHOOSE TO ACCEPT IT--IS TO INFILTRATE

ENEMY TERRITORY AND FIND OUT.

>> FIND OUT WHAT?

>> HELLO, EVERYBODY.

>> IF IT'S GOT A PACKAGE, OR IF IT'S GOT A GASH.

>> FISHER!

>> ENJOYING THE SHOW?

>> OH, YEAH, WE LOVED IT.

>> WINCHELL REALLY LIKED IT.

I THINK HE HAD A HARD-ON THE WHOLE TIME.

>> AREN'T YOU FRESH?

> HE SAID HE WANTED TO GET TO KNOW YOU BETTER--A LOT BETTER.

>> FOR CHRIST'S SAKE, FISHER.

I DIDN'T SAY THAT.

>> GO GET HER, WINCHELL.

>> SHUT UP, BAKER.

>> I'M GUESSING YOU BOYS ARE IN FROM FORT CAMPBELL

THIS EVENING.

>> ARE YOUR TITS REAL?

>> JUSTIN!

>> DON'T WORRY, I'M USED TO PEOPLE ME ASKING ALL KINDS

OF QUESTIONS.

IT'S THE PRICE YOU PAY FOR BEING A LITTLE BIT

A CELEBRITY.

>> MY BUDDY WANTS TO FEEL 'EM.

>> WHY DON'T YOU SHUT UP?

>> WHAT THE FUCK DID YOU JUST SAY?

>> WHAT, YOU DIDN'T HEAR ME?

>> EASY, BOYS.

HEY, WHAT'S YOUR NAME, SOLDIER?

>> WINCHELL.

>> YOU'VE NEVER BEEN TO A PLACE LIKE THIS BEFORE, HAVE YOU?

>> NO, MA'AM.

>> YOU DON'T TELL ME TO SHUT UP, BITCH!

I TELL YOU TO SHUT UP!

>> I THINK WE NEED A TIME-OUT HERE.

HOW ABOUT I TAKE YOU ON A LITTLE TOUR?

>> NO, THANK YOU.

>> GUYS, COME ON!

COME ON, THE MANAGEMENT IS NOT FOND OF DRUNKEN FIGHTS,

AND YOU DON'T WANT THEM CALLING THE M.P.'s.

COME ON.

>> NO, THANKS.

>> DON'T FORGET YOUR MISSION, MAN.

>> I TOLD YOU IT WAS A GIRL.

>> Both: IT'S A MAN!

>> HEY, BAKER, YOU REMEMBER THAT OLD-SCHOOL SHIT?

>> BRING IT, BABY.

WHOA!

OFF THE STAGE!

>> LOOK AT THAT.

>> GET OFF!

>> AND THIS IS MY HUMBLE LITTLE DRESSING ROOM.

TAKE OFF YOUR SHIRT.

>> EXCU-EXCUSE ME?

>> YOU SMELL LIKE A BREWERY, SOLDIER.

YOU DON'T WANT THE M.P.'s STOPPING YOU ON THE WAY HOME

SMELLING LIKE THAT.

WHAT DO YOU THINK OF VISIONS?

>> DIFFERENT.

>> PERHAPS IT'S NOT YOUR THING.

OR PERHAPS YOU'RE NOT SURE IF IT'S YOUR THING.

IS THAT IT?

>> I THOUGHT YOU WERE THE BEST ONE ONSTAGE.

>> I BET YOU SAY THAT TO ALL THE GIRLS.

BUT THANK YOU.

THEY ARE REAL.

>> HMM?

>> YOUR FRIEND ASKED IF THEY ARE REAL.

>> HE CAN BE CRUDE.

I APOLOGIZE.

>> I SEE, YOU'RE A GENTLEMAN.

ONE DOESN'T MEET MANY OF THOSE HERE.

>> WELL, I WAS BROUGHT UP TO ACT A CERTAIN WAY

AROUND A LADY.

>> A LADY?

>> CORRECT.

OH, DON'T BE COY.

I'M SURE TONS OF GUYS HIT ON YOU ALL THE TIME.

I MEAN, LOOK AT YOU.

>> I GET A LOT OF ATTENTION.

FROM SOME VERY WEIRD PEOPLE.

>> YEAH, YOU POOR STALKED SUPERSTAR.

>> YOU EVER SHY?

>> AROUND HALF-NAKED WOMEN-- >> DON'T GET SMART.

>> YOU'RE NOT VERY SHY, ARE YOU?

>> OH, YES, I AM.

BUT I'M AN ACTRESS, SO I CAN PRETEND I'M ANYTHING--

CONFIDENT, BRAZEN, SEXY.

IT'S ALL A MATTER OF PROJECTING THESE QUALITIES.

SO, WHAT EXACTLY IS YOUR MISSION?

>> YEAH. I'M SUPPOSED TO FIND OUT IF--

I'M SUPPOSED TO FIND OUT-- I MEAN--

HOW YOU LEARNED TO DANCE LIKE THAT.

>>

>> WELL, WHAT DO WE HAVE HERE?

A LITTLE FRATERNIZING IN THE DRESSING ROOM?

>> I AM SO SORRY.

WE HAVE TO GET READY FOR OUR SECOND SHOW.

>> BUT YOU CAN STAY, SWEETIE...

AND HELP ME DRESS, IF YOU LIKE.

>> YEAH, I WOULD, BUT MY FRIENDS ARE WAITING FOR ME.

SORRY.

CAN I HAVE YOUR PHONE NUMBER?

>> YOU NEVER TOLD ME YOUR FIRST NAME.

>> IT'S BARRY.

>> MY PHONE NUMBER.

YOU'RE UNDER NO OBLIGATION TO USE IT.

>> GOT YOURSELF A SOLDIER BOY.

>> CALLIE, HE'S SO CUTE.

>> GIRL'S GOT HERSELF SOME ACTION.

>> MMM. GO, GIRL.

>> HEY!

>> WHERE'S FISH?

>> HE STUMBLED BACK THERE.

YOU DIDN'T SEE HIM?

>> UH-UH.

>> WHAT'D YOU FIND OUT, BIG GUY, HUH?

>> SHE'S A LADY.

>> I KNEW IT. I KNEW IT.

>> WELL, GOOD FOR YOU.

THE WAY I AM, MEIN HERR

NOT A LAMB, MEIN HERR...

>> >>

>> OW. SLOW DOWN.

>> LET ME SEE WHAT YOU GOT.

>> WILL YOU MOVE OFF?

WHERE YOU GOIN'?

>> I MAKE IT A POINT NEVER TO KISS A GIRL WHO'S DICK

IS BIGGER THAN MINE.

>> YEAH, WELL, YOU MUST NOT MAKE OUT WITH VERY MANY GIRLS,

ASSHOLE.

>> WHAT'S UP?

HOW'D IT GO WITH, UH...

CORNUCOPIA?

YOU GET A BLOW JOB OR WHAT?

>> NO. CALPERNIA.

WHAT WERE YOU DOING, BRO?

>> HEY, A MAN WHO GETS A BLOW JOB FROM A FREAK

IS NOT A FREAK.

IT'S ONLY THE FREAK ON HIS KNEES, GIVING THE BLOW JOB

THAT IS A FREAK.

>> YOU'RE SO DRUNK.

LOOK AT YOU.

>> WHAT THE HELL IS WRONG WITH YOU PEOPLE?!

WATCH WHERE YOU'RE GOIN'!

>> GET OUT OF HERE!

>> YOU'RE SO FUNNY-- FUCKIN' CLOWN.

>> BODIES WERE PILING ON UP.

>> DID YOU HEAR THAT GIRL?

SHE WAS, LIKE, "MY GOD, THERE'S A DEAD BODY ON THE FLOOR!"

>> LISTEN, WINCHELL, YOU NEVER COME HERE WITHOUT ME.

I DON'T TRUST YOU AROUND ALL THOSE FAGS.

>> HEY, I DON'T NEED YOUR PERMISSION TO GO ANYWHERE.

HEY, WATCH OUT, BUDDY.

>> IT'S ABOUT TIME.

>> SORRY, GUYS.

WINCHELL WAS GETTIN' HIS HOLE PUNCHED BY A FREAK.

>> NONE OF MY BUSINESS.

>> YOU SERIOUS?

>> HEY!

>> WHOA! WHOA!

>> NOPE, NOPE.

NO ONE SMOKES IN THE CAR.

>> WHAT ARE YOU TALKING ABOUT?

IT'S WINCHELL'S CAR. HE SMOKES.

>> NO ONE SMOKES! I'M ALLERGIC!

>> ALL RIGHT, NO ONE SMOKES IN THE CAR. CAN WE JUST GO?

>> I DIDN'T DO ANYTHING.

NOTHING HAPPENED BACK THERE.

I DIDN'T HAVE FUCKIN' SEX.

>> IT'S ALL RIGHT.

WE DON'T CARE.

>> WHAT ARE YOU TALKIN' ABOUT?

I CARE. HE'S IN MY UNIT.

YOU COME OUT OF THE CLOSET THERE, WINCHELL?

>> ONLY FOR YOU, SWEETHEART.

GET IN THE FUCKING CAR.

LOOK WHAT YOU STARTED, FISH.

>> OH, LAY OFF, WINCHELL.

I'M THE ONE WHO KISSED THE CHICK.

>> WHAT?

>> WHAT CHICK?

>> THAT CHICK.

>> WHERE? THAT'S NOT A CHICK.

>> YES, IT IS!

>> NO, NO, IT'S NOT!

IT'S NOT A CHICK!

>> YES, IT IS.

>> I'M NOT GAY.

>> SOMETIMES I WISH I WAS GAY.

>> YOU ALL RIGHT?

WHAT'S WRONG WITH YOU?

HEY, MAN, OPEN THE DOOR.

OPEN THE DOOR.

FISH, OPEN THE FUCK-- WHAT ARE YOU DOING?

FISH, OPEN THE DOOR!

>> >> All: OHH!

>> OH, SHIT!

OH, IT'S ALL OVER THE SIDE OF THE CAR.

>> OH, THAT'S FUNNY, RIGHT?

>> NO!

>> GO! GO! GO!

>> COVERING!

>> MOVING!

>> COVERING!

>> COVERING!

>> COVERING!

>> RIGHT FLANK, SWING LEFT!

>> HANG BACK, WINCHELL!

>> DAMN!

>> MEDIC!

NEED A MEDIC OVER HERE!

GET DOWN!

JUST HANG IN THERE, WINCHELL.

EVERYTHING'S GONNA BE OKAY.

MEDIC! WE NEED A MEDIC!

YOU'RE GONNA BE OKAY.

DON'T YOU DIE ON ME, WINCHELL!

DON'T YOU DIE!

YOU'RE GONNA BE OKAY, BUDDY!

DON'T YOU DIE ON ME-- >> FISHER, IT'S A FUCKIN'

FIELD MANEUVER!

>> I KNOW IT'S A FUCKIN' FIELD MANEUVER.

>> GIVE ME THE KEY.

HEY, YOU'RE LUCKY.

YOU GOT A CHEST WOUND.

>> THANKS.

>> COVERING!

>> COVERING!

>> HELLO?

>> DO YOU KNOW WHO THIS IS?

>> I BELIEVE THIS IS THE GENTLEMAN I MET

SATURDAY EVENING.

>> YOU REMEMBER MY NAME?

>> OF COURSE I DO.

DO YOU REMEMBER MINE?

>> I CAN'T SAY IT RIGHT NOW.

>> I UNDERSTAND.

>> WHO ARE YOU TALKING TO?

>> MY MOM.

I'M SORRY, WHAT-- WHAT WERE YOU SAYING?

>> WHAT CAN I DO FOR YOU, PRIVATE WINCHELL?

>> I NEED A CHANGE OF SCENERY.

I WAS WONDERING IF WE COULD GET A CUP OF COFFEE.

>> WELL, I WOULD LIKE THAT.

BUT YOU SAW ME, UM, SATURDAY NIGHT IN A SHOW...

WITH LIGHTS AND STAGE MAKEUP.

>> YEAH, SO?

>> WHAT YOU SAW ON STAGE SATURDAY NIGHT IS NOT THE

SAME CREATURE YOU'LL FIND HAVING A CUP OF COFFEE

ON WEDNESDAY EVENING.

>> LOOK, I REMEMBER WHAT YOU LOOK LIKE.

YOU'RE PRETTY.

>> YOU ALWAYS TELL YOUR MOM SHE'S PRETTY?

>> HOLD ON.

I'M TALKING TO MY GIRLFRIEND FROM KANSAS.

SHE RAN INTO MY MOM.

I'M RELAYING A MESSAGE.

SO, WHAT WERE YOU SAYING?

>> MY NEIGHBORS ARE THROWING A BARBEQUE THIS EVENING.

>> WAS THAT AN INVITATION?

>> YES. THAT'S AN INVITATION.

>> Ginger: WOW, LOOK AT HIM.

HE CLEANS UP REAL GOOD.

GO ON, BE A HOSTESS.

>> HE'S HERE, AND I'M IN THIS AWFUL TOP.

POISE, POISE, CONFIDENCE.

I SEE YOU MADE IT.

>> WELL, GOOD DIRECTIONS.

>> IT'S MY MILITARY TRAINING.

HEH. YOU CAN TAKE THE GIRL OUT OF THE NAVY, BUT YOU CAN'T

TAKE THE NAVY OUT OF THE GIRL.

>> YOU LOOK GREAT.

>> THANKS.

COME ON, I'LL INTRODUCE YOU TO MY FRIENDS.

SO, THIS IS LESTER, AND THIS IS GINGER.

THIS IS BARRY.

>> HI, NICE TO MEET YOU.

WELCOME.

>> NICE TO MEET YOU.

>> YOU DANCE AT THE CLUB, RIGHT?

>> YEAH, I DANCE, SING, PERFORM, WHATEVER.

>> YEAH, AND FLIRT WITH STRANGE MEN.

>> DON'T LISTEN TO HIM.

>> THEY'RE NICE.

>> GINGER'S KIND OF LIKE MY MENTOR.

COME ON, LET'S GET YOU A BEER.

SO, WHAT DO YOU DO IN THE FIELD?

JUST PRACTICE CAMPING AND SNEAKING UP ON EACH OTHER?

>> YEAH, WE DO THAT.

WE ALSO GET TO LAUNCH TOW MISSILES.

I QUALIFIED ON MY WEAPON LAST MONTH.

MADE ALL MY REGS.

TOTALLY HIT MY MARKS.

NOW, WHEN WE GET TO LAUNCH MISSILES, THE SERGEANT

WANTS ME 'CAUSE...

I HIT THE TARGET.

TOP GUN.

>> SO, YOU DON'T LAUNCH REAL MISSILES ALL THE TIME?

>> HELL NO.

THEY'RE, LIKE, $10,000 EACH.

>> HMM.

>> YOU DON'T SMOKE?

>> NO.

BUT I DON'T MIND IF YOU DO.

IT SEEMS TO SUIT YOU.

>> WHY, 'CAUSE I'M A REDNECK FROM MISSOURI?

>> UNDER ALL THIS HAIR AND MAKEUP, I'M JUST A PIECE OF

WHITE TRASH FROM THE HILLS OF TENNESSEE.

I LIKE SHIT-KICKING COUNTRY MUSIC, AND SOMETIMES, WHEN I'M

HOME ALL ALONE, I EAT BAKED BEANS RIGHT OUT OF THE CAN.

WHAT?

>> YOU'RE MILITARY?

>> NAVY. WAS.

>> WHERE WERE YOU STATIONED?

>> SAUDI ARABIA FOR THE GULF WAR.

I MANAGED THIS FIELD HOSPITAL.

ALL MY TRAINING WAS ABOUT HEALING THINGS.

YOURS IS ALL ABOUT DESTROYING THINGS

AND KILLING PEOPLE.

>> I LOVE THE INFANTRY.

>> OH, I'M NOT CRITICIZING YOU.

>> YOU KNOW, YOUR FREEDOM HAS A PRICE, AND THE GUYS

IN MY UNIT--WE'RE THE GUYS THAT PAY THAT...

WITH OUR LIVES.

AND I LOVE 'EM...FOR THAT.

>> THAT'S HOT.

>> IN THE NAVY,

WERE YOU CALPERNIA?

>> NO.

GOD, THIS HUMIDITY JUST WRECKS MY HAIR.

OH. THAT'S NOT FUNNY.

>> I THOUGHT YOU WERE HOT.

NO? DIDN'T COOL YOU DOWN AT ALL?

I'M SORRY, I APOLOGIZE.

I'LL JUST TAKE IT OFF.

>> OH!

>> HA HA HA!

>> HA HA HA HA!

AAAH!

>> >> EXCUSE ME!

FUCK.

OH!

SORRY.

HA HA!

IT'S A LITTLE FUNNY.

YOU'RE ALL WET.

>> I'D BETTER GO CLEAN MY BLOUSE...YOU KNOW.

>> YEAH, I SHOULD PROBABLY GET GOING BACK TO BASE ANYHOW.

I HAD A GOOD TIME.

>> I'M GLAD YOU CAME.

>> ME, TOO.

THANKS FOR INVITING ME.

I'D LIKE TO SEE YOU AGAIN.

>> OH, NO, THAT'S VERY NICE, BUT THE BARS IN NASHVILLE

ARE FULL OF GIRLS.

>> YEAH, BUT YOU'RE NOT LIKE THE OTHER GIRLS.

>> THAT'S AN UNDERSTATEMENT.

HE WANTS TO SEE ME AGAIN.

>> AND WHY SHOULDN'T HE?

>> HE'S A STRAIGHT BOY, A HANDSOME, GENTLE,

MANNERLY, STRAIGHT BOY WITH A JOB AND A CAR.

>> AND HE KNOWS?

I MEAN, YOU'VE TOLD HIM.

CALLIE.

>> I THINK HE KNOWS.

OR HE KNOWS AS MUCH AS HE WANTS TO KNOW.

WHAT IF HE WANTS TO MAKE LOVE?

DOES LESTER PAY ATTENTION TO YOUR, UH...

>> MY UNFEMININE BOY PARTS?

HE IGNORED THEM FOR THE FIRST FEW YEARS.

AND THEN WE STARTED TO EXPERIMENT.

BUT TO ME, SEXUAL ORIENTATION ISN'T BLACK-AND-WHITE.

I MEAN, VERY FEW PEOPLE ARE 100% ANYTHING THESE DAYS.

>> GINGER...

HE'S FROM KANSAS.

>> THIS PLACE SUCKS.

>> OH, FISHER, COME ON, MAN.

YOU'RE THE ONE WHO DRAGGED US HERE LAST WEEK.

>> CONSISTENCY IS THE HOBGOBLIN OF SMALL MINDS.

>> THEN TAKE MY CARE AND COME BACK IN A COUPLE OF HOURS.

>> I NEED A DRINK.

>> HEY.

TOWARDS YOU

BACK

FEELS LIKE I'M CRAWLING

I DON'T THINK I CAN FACE

OF FALLING

OF FALLING

OF FALLING

OF FALLING

WHAT I'M THINKING?

LIKE MINE?

WHAT I'M DREAMING?

ONE STEP

TWO STEPS

FEELS LIKE I'M CRAWLING

IF I'M ALONE IN THIS

THE CONSEQUENCES

CONSEQUENCES

CONSEQUENCES

CONSEQUENCES

CONSEQUENCES

CONSEQUENCES

CONSEQUENCES

CONSEQUENCES

CONSEQUENCES

CONSEQUENCES

CONSEQUENCES

CONSEQUENCES

CONSEQUENCES

>> YEAH, YEAH, YEAH!

YEAH! HA HA HA!

HA HA HA HA!

>> HI.

IS IT SO?

TEND TO GROW

AND THE WOE

THRIVES THIS LOVE

I'M WORTHY OF

THRIVES THIS LOVE

>> OH, MY GOD.

>> WHAT?

>> MAYBE WE SHOULD...

>> SLOW DOWN?

>> THAT'S WHAT GUYS USUALLY SAY BEFORE THEY NEVER CALL ME

AGAIN--"MAYBE WE SHOULD SLOW DOWN, PERHAPS WE OUGHT TO

TAKE A BREAK."

WHY DON'T THEY TELL THE TRUTH?

SAY, "I DON'T HAVE THE BALLS FOR THIS SORT OF THING.

I JUST DON'T HAVE THE BALLS FOR IT."

SWEETHEART...

MAYBE YOU SHOULD GO HOME AND THINK ABOUT THIS.

>> YEAH.

>> WINCHELL.

YOU GOT LIPSTICK ALL OVER YOUR FACE.

CHICK WITH A DICK-- >> DON'T CROSS THE LINE

WITH ME, FISHER!

>> CHICK WITH A DICK, CHICK WITH A DICK.

>> OH, THAT'S NOT YOUR GIRLFRIEND RIGHT THERE? HUH?

>> HEY, HONEY.

>> LET'S GO, LET'S GO.

FUCKING-A!

>> >> Diaz: YOU'RE DOING WELL

IN THE FIELD.

HOW ARE YOU COMING WITH YOUR CLASS WORK?

>> STUDYING EVERY FREE MINUTE.

>> THANK YOU.

>> THANK YOU.

>> THAT'S GOOD. GOOD.

YOU DOING YOUR STUDYING ON POST OR OFF?

>> MOSTLY ON.

SOMETIMES OFF.

THIS LOOKS GREAT.

>> THANK YOU.

>> JENNIFER'S A GREAT COOK!

>> Jennifer: IT'S FROZEN.

JUST KIDDING.

>> SO, YOU SEEING SOMEONE OFF POST?

>> YEAH, I DATE A LITTLE, LIKE EVERYONE ELSE.

DO YOU WANT TO SEE A PICTURE OF MY GIRLFRIEND?

>> SURE.

OKAY!

YOU'RE A LUCKY MAN, PRIVATE.

>> YES, I AM.

>> YOU KNOW WHY I'M A GOOD SERGEANT, WINCHELL?

I HAVE INSTINCTS ABOUT MY MEN.

YOU STICK WITH IT, AND YOU NEVER GIVE UP.

>> THAT'S THE WAY MY MOTHER RAISED ME.

>> I'M GONNA TAKE A CHANCE.

I'M BETTING ON YOUR FOR SOLDIER OF THE MONTH.

>> HEH.

>> SEE THE TWO DOGS HERE?

RUFUS--SEVEN YEARS IN A ROW, BEST IN SHOW.

HIS BROTHER AMADEUS-- EVERY YEAR, A LOSER.

GO FIGURE.

>> OH, MY GOD.

WELL, DO YOU WANT TO COME IN?

>> I GOT GOOD NEWS.

>> OH?

>> YEAH, MY SERGEANT WANTS TO NOMINATE ME FOR SOLDIER

OF THE MONTH.

>> OH, CONGRATULATIONS.

PLEASE EXCUSE THE MESS.

GINGER'S HELPING ME COME UP WITH A FEW NUMBERS.

SHE WANTS ME IN HER PAGEANT ON JULY 4.

CAN I GET YOU SOMETHING TO DRINK? A SODA, BEER?

I CAN MAKE SOME LEMONADE.

>> BEER'S GOOD.

THANK YOU.

WHAT KIND OF PAGEANT?

>> MISS TENNESSEE ENTERTAINER OF THE YEAR.

I'LL HAVE TO PERFORM TWO NUMBERS, DESIGN A GOWN FOR

THE EVENINGWEAR COMPETITION, AND ANSWER SOME QUESTIONS.

OH, WHAT KIND OF HOSTESS AM I?

I DIDN'T OFFER YOU A GLASS.

>> I'M FINE, REALLY.

>> OH!

>> >> HEH. I'M A GENUINE

BUTTERFINGERS TODAY.

>> I MAKE YOU NERVOUS?

>> YES.

YOU MAKE ME NERVOUS.

>> WHY?

>> BECAUSE YOU'RE SO NORMAL, AND--AND MY LIFESTYLE

IS SO FAR OUTSIDE OF WHAT'S CONSIDERED NORMAL.

I'M--I'M OFF THE CHARTS.

OW!

>> THAT'S ALL RIGHT.

THAT'S-- >> DO YOU KNOW WHAT YOU'RE

GETTING YOURSELF INTO?

>> I DON'T CARE.

>> WELCOME TO THE OTHER SIDE OF THE LOOKING GLASS, ALICE.

SAVE ME FROM YOU

THE WAY TO YOU

THE CAPTIVE FREE

LIKE LOVE CAN BE...

>> FUCK.

I WANT TO MAKE YOU COME.

>> YOU AMAZE ME.

I WANT THIS DREAM TO LAST.

SAVE ME

>> I HAVE TO GET BACK TO BASE.

>> I MUST LOOK A WRECK.

>> SHH, GO TO SLEEP.

CLOSE YOUR EYES, GO TO SLEEP.

YOU LOOK LIKE AN ANGEL.

>> OR SOME KIND OF-- >> SHH. YOU'RE NOT ALLOWED

TO SAY NEGATIVE THINGS ABOUT YOURSELF IN MY PRESENCE.

AND THAT'S AN ORDER, PRIVATE.

>> OH, GOD.

HEH.

>> BURGERS' ALMOST READY, BOYS.

BURGERS' ALMOST READY.

I'LL MAKE YOU A BURGER, WINCHELL, BUT YOU PROBABLY

ALREADY HAVE PLANS TONIGHT, CONSIDERING YOU HAVE SUCH

AN ACTIVE SOCIAL LIFE.

BAKER.

MARTINEZ.

YOUR BURGER.

LET'S GO, NASTY.

>> THERE'S SOME KETCHUP AND SOME ONIONS.

WHATEVER THE HELL YOU WANT.

MILLENS, COME GET YOUR BURGER.

>> IT'S RAINING OUT.

YOU GUYS KNOW WHERE I CAN FIND MODULE A?

>> "A" FOR "ASSHOLE".

YOU OUGHT TO BE ABLE TO FIND THAT.

>> All: HOO-AH!

>> IT'S OVER THERE.

WHAT'S YOUR NAME, SOLDIER?

>> GLOVER.

>> IT LOOKS LIKE THEY SENT US A REAL SEASONED WARRIOR.

THAT'S YOUR NEW BATTLE BUDDY, MILLENS.

>> FUCK YOU, PAY ME.

>> HEY.

>> HEY.

>> THAT'S A COOL DOG YOU GOT.

>> NASTY.

HE'S THE COMPANY MASCOT.

>> CAN I HAVE A CIGARETTE?

>> SURE.

>> I USED TO HAVE A DOG JUST LIKE HER--A PIT BULL.

SHE WAS CRAZY.

IF ANYBODY EVER CAME NEAR ME, SHE'D TRY AND KILL THEM.

>> THIS IS A ROTTWEILER.

>> YEAH, THAT'S WHAT I MEANT-- A ROTTWEILER.

THAT DIAZ IS AN ASSHOLE, THOUGH, EH?

I MEAN, HE WAS ALL OVER ME.

HE WAS, LIKE, "WHAT ARE DOING IN THE MILITARY?

AREN'T YOU A LITTLE BIT YOUNG?

SURE YOU WANT TO BE HERE, SON?" >> HOW OLD ARE YOU?

>> 17. MY MOM HAD TO SIGN THE PAPERS TO GET ME

INTO THIS PLACE.

THAT'S NONE OF THE SPIC'S BUSINESS, THOUGH, RIGHT?

>> HEY, DIAZ IS-- HE'S COOL.

>> YEAH, HE'S ALL RIGHT.

HE'S OKAY.

>> YOU MAKE A BURGER FOR NASTY?

>> NO, I GOT TWO FOR ME, AND I GOT TWO FOR YOU.

TAKE THE CIGARETTES OUTSIDE.

THE SMOKE COMES RIGHT INTO MY APARTMENT.

>> SORRY.

>> DON'T WORRY, THERE'S NO REGULATIONS AGAINST SMOKING

IN THIS BUILDING.

>> WELL, YOU KNOW, YOU COULD JUST SHUT THE DOOR.

>> YOUR SMOKE COMES UNDER

THE DOOR, YOU MORON.

>> WHY DON'T YOU BACK OFF?

IT'S HIS FIRST DAY.

>> OH, WHAT'S THE MATTER, WINCHELL, YOU LIKE HIM, HUH?

HE'S A GOOD-LOOKING KID.

BE CAREFUL OF WINCHELL.

HE'S A BONA FIDE ROPE-SUCKER.

>> WHAT ARE YOU TRYING TO DO?

WHAT? GET ME DISCHARGED?

>> IT WAS A JOKE.

CALM DOWN.

YOUR DINNER'S READY.

YOU'RE THE ONE WHO DISAPPEARS FROM POST ALL THE TIME.

>> HEY!

>> NOBODY KNOWS WHO YOU'RE WITH OR WHERE YOU GO.

>> I AM ENTITLED TO A PRIVATE LIFE THAT'S SEPARATE

FROM MY ARMY LIFE.

>> WELL, JUST SO YOU KNOW, WINCHELL, THE ARMY'S NOT

A NORMAL JOB.

WE'RE SUPPOSED TO LIVE FOR EACH OTHER, AND WE'RE SUPPOSED

TO DIE FOR EACH OTHER.

>> NO, FISHER.

PEOPLE IN THE ARMY HAVE FAMILIES, CAREERS, GIRLFRIENDS.

>> RIGHT, WINCHELL-- GIRLFRIENDS.

NOT SOME MUTANT FROM VISIONS.

>> WHO BROUGHT ME TO VISIONS IN THE FIRST PLACE?

>> ARE YOU GONNA EAT?

'CAUSE YOUR DINNER IS GETTING COLD.

>> NO, THANK YOU.

THANK YOU VERY MUCH.

>> YOU DON'T GET IT, WINCHELL, DO YOU?

THIS IS THE 101st AIRBORNE DIVISION.

D-DAY, HAMBURGER HILL.

THOSE GUYS LAID THEIR LIVES DOWN FOR EACH OTHER.

>> IN COMBAT!

THIS ISN'T COMBAT!

>> FUCK YOU!

WHY DID YOU DO THAT?

>> ARE YOU CRAZY?

LISTEN, FISH, I THINK WE NEED TO GO DOWN TO MENTAL HEALTH.

THOSE PILLS YOU'RE TAKING ARE FUCKING UP YOUR HEAD.

>> I'M NOT FUCKIN' AROUND!

ARE YOU GONNA CLEAN IT?!

>> NO, I'M GONNA CLEAN IT!

>> CLEAN IT!

>> I DIDN'T MAKE THE MESS!

I'M NOT GONNA CLEAN IT!

>> ARE YOU GONNA CLEAN IT?!

>> GET OFF ME! I'M NOT GONNA FUCKIN' FIGHT YOU!

>> COME ON!

>> WHAT ARE YOU DOIN'? HUH?

>> HEY! HEY! HEY!

[ all shouting >> JESUS CHRIST!

>> OH, SHIT. SHIT, WINCHELL.

YOU ALL RIGHT?

>> FUCK OFF!

>> GO WASH UP, MAN.

>> YEAH, GO TO THE HOSPITAL.

>> THE EMERGENCY ROOM.

>> YOU GOT BLOOD ALL OVER.

YOU GOT BLOOD ALL OVER MY FUCKIN' WALL!

>> TAKE HIM TO THE HOSPITAL.

WHAT'S WRONG WITH YOU, FISHER?

>> WINCHELL, WAIT UP.

>> SHUT THE FUCK UP.

YOU GUYS JUST HANG BACK.

I'D LIKE TO BE ALONE WITH WINCHELL FOR A SECOND.

>> HELLO, CAN I GET SOME ATTENTION, PLEASE?

>> WHERE THE HELL IS EVERYBODY?

LET ME SEE THIS.

YOU KNOW, I COULD GET AN ARTICLE 15 FOR THIS SHIT.

>> IT'S ALL THOSE FUCKIN' PILLS YOU TAKE, MAN.

YOU MIX IT WITH ALCOHOL-- >> I KNOW, YOU'RE RIGHT.

>> IT'LL FUCK UP YOUR MIND.

>> YOU'RE RIGHT, YOU'RE RIGHT.

LISTEN, WINCHELL...

FIRST THING MONDAY, I'M GONNA TALK TO SOMEBODY

AT MENTAL HEALTH.

>> HEH.

>> I KNOW I NEED HELP, MAN.

I KNOW I NEED HELP.

I MEAN, PEOPLE LAUGH.

AND YOU'RE THE ONLY ONE THAT TAKES ME SERIOUSLY.

I GOTTA FUCK THAT SHIT UP, MAN.

WHY DO I GOTTA--FUCK!

WHY I ALWAYS GOTTA FUCK SHIT UP, MAN?

WHY DID I DO THAT?

WHY DID I DO THAT?

>> FISHER, LISTEN...

>> STUPID!

>> HEY. I'M GONNA TELL DIAZ I THREW THE FIRST PUNCH.

>> YOU'D DO THAT FOR ME?

>> BUT MY PRIVATE LIFE STAYS PRIVATE.

>> YEAH.

YEAH, NO PROBLEM.

EVERYBODY'S ENTITLED TO A PRIVATE LIFE.

THANKS, WINCHELL.

CAN WE GET SOME HELP HERE?

>> SOMETIMES YOU JUST KILL ME,

LESTER.

>> HEY, GUYS.

>> HEY, CAL.

>> WANT SOME BREWS?

CAL?

>> "THIS TASK HAS BEEN PERFORMED CORRECTLY WHEN

THE INSTALLATION OF SB3082V1/G2 AND THE COMPLETED

MAINTENANCE FORMS HAVE BEEN INSPECTED IN ACCORDANCE WITH

PERFORMANCE MEASURES 1 THROUGH 3 WITHIN TEN MINUTES.

>> I THINK HE'S DANGEROUS, AND YOU OUGHT TO REPORT HIM.

>> HE'S SUPPOSED TO BE DANGEROUS.

WE'RE INFANTRY.

HERE.

>> "DEAR MOM AND WALLY, HERE'S MY METAL--"

I THINK YOU MEAN "MEDAL" WITH A "D".

>> YEAH. FIX IT.

>> I BET YOU ALWAYS HAD GIRLS DOING YOUR HOMEWORK.

>> MY LITTLE CHEERLEADER.

>> "HERE'S MY MEDAL

FOR MARKSMANSHIP.

WALLY, YOU WERE RIGHT.

THE INFANTRY'S TOUFF."

"TOUGH" WITH A "G-H".

"BUT I CAN TAKE IT.

I SUCK IT UP AND MOVE ON.

I MISS YOU GUYS AND LOVE YOU SO MUCH.

BARRY."

YOUR FAMILY LOVES YOU.

YOU'RE LUCKY.

THIS IS A BAD IDEA.

TURN AROUND.

>> I JUST WANT TO SEE THE HOUSE THAT YOU GREW UP IN.

>> I SWORE I'D NEVER COME BACK HERE.

I DON'T KNOW WHY YOU'RE INTERESTED.

>> YOU ASK ME QUESTIONS ALL THE TIME--ABOUT MY MOM,

MY OLD GIRLFRIENDS.

>> YOU HAVE YOUR SECRETS.

>> LIKE WHAT?

>> YOUR BIRTH FATHER.

YOU WANT TALK ABOUT HIM.

>> HE RAN AWAY WHEN I WAS FOUR.

I DON'T EVEN KNOW HIM.

>> OKAY, STOP.

DON'T GET ANY CLOSER.

THEY MIGHT SEE US.

>> IT'S 6:00 IN THE MORNING.

>> THEY GET UP WITH THE ROOSTERS.

>> LET'S GO KNOCK ON THE DOOR AND SAY HELLO.

>> WHAT ARE YOU DOING?

GET BACK IN THE CAR.

>> COME ON.

>> GET BACK IN THE CAR.

BARRY.

JESUS CHRIST, GET BACK.

>> WAS THIS YOURS?

>> THAT'S A BOY'S BIKE.

COME ON, CAL, IT'S YOUR FAMILY.

YOU CAN'T LIVE WITHOUT THEM.

>> THE LAST TIME I SAW MY MOTHER, MY HAIR WAS DOWN TO

SHOULDERS, AND I HAD BEEN ON HORMONES FOR A YEAR.

I THOUGHT I LOOKED ALL RIGHT.

I TRIED TO KEEP THE CONVERSATION FLOWING.

THAT WOMAN COULD BARELY SPEAK.

TEARS WERE FALLING DOWN HER FACE.

AND SHE CALLED ME BY MY BOY'S NAME.

I HAVE TO BE MORE MYSELF BEFORE I WALK UP

TO THAT HOUSE AGAIN.

>> WHAT DOES THAT MEAN, YOU'RE SUPPOSED TO BE MORE YOURSELF?

>> PLEASE TAKE ME HOME.

>> WHAT'S--WHAT'S THIS WORD?

>> "ORCHIDECTOMY".

THAT'S REMOVAL OF THE MALE GENITALIA.

>> WHAT'S THAT?

"VAGINOPLASTY".

THAT'S WHERE THEY, UH, CREATE A VAGINA

OUT OF THE PENILE TISSUE.

>> I'M GONNA FINISH LOOKING AT THIS LATER.

>> I KNOW, IT SEEMS EXTREME.

>> HOW MUCH DOES IT COST?

>> OH, UP TO $50,000.

>> JESUS! $50,000?

DO YOU KNOW WHAT YOU COULD GET FOR $50,000?

YOU COULD GET A JAGUAR OR A PORSCHE.

>> I HAVE A CAR.

>> YOU DON'T NEED THIS.

>> LET ME SHOW YOU SOMETHING.

PETTY OFFICER, THIRD CLASS, ELBERTS, SCOTTIE.

I'VE BEEN RUNNING FROM THAT KID MY WHOLE LIFE.

NOW I JUST FEEL SORRY FOR HIM.

I AM TIRED OF BEING A FREAK.

>> DOES THAT MAKE ME A FREAK, IF I'M IN LOVE WITH A FREAK?

>> YOU SAID-- >> YEAH, I KNOW WHAT I SAID.

YOU KNOW WHAT REALLY PISSES ME OFF?

>> WHAT?

>> YOU OUTRANK ME.

>> THAT'S RIGHT, PRIVATE.

I DO.

>> YO, WINCHELL!

IF YOU WANT, WE CAN WORK ON YOUR PRESENTATION

FOR SOLDIER OF THE MONTH.

IS IT SO?

TEND TO GROW

>>

>> OH, CHRIST, WHAT?

>> WHO WANTS TO GET HAMMERED?

>> FOR GOD'S SAKES, FISHER, I'M SICK, MAN.

I'M FUCKIN' DYING.

>> I'M BROKE.

>> YOU STAY AWAY FROM ME, MILLEN.

>> WHATEVER.

>> CLOSE THE DOOR!

STILL SOMEHOW

>> YOU WANT TO DRIVE DOWN

TO THE WET SPOT?

>> NO, FISHER.

HE DOES NOT WANT TO GO TO THE WET SPOT.

>> YOU DIDN'T SEE HER, RIGHT?

SHE WASN'T HERE.

>> HEY!

GLOVER, I NEED TO TALK TO YOU.

>> DON'T.

DON'T, YOU'LL SPOIL EVERYTHING.

OHH.

>> Glover: SO, MY MOM AND I-- WE'RE LIVING IN THIS PLACE

WITH GHOSTS.

NO SHIT.

YOU EVER HEAR A GHOST TALK AT NIGHT?

THEY DON'T EVER SHUT UP.

NOT ONLY THAT, YOU CAN HARDLY UNDERSTAND A WORD

THAT THEY'RE SAYING.

BUT MY MOM'S REALLY GREAT, SO SHE PIPES UP, SHE SAYS,

"HEY, YOU GHOSTS, SHUT UP IN THERE."

AND THAT WAS IT.

I MEAN, THEY JUST FELL SILENT.

MY MOM'S GREAT.

>> DO YOU THINK A HOMOSEXUAL CAN BE LOYAL TO HIS UNIT?

>> NO. I DON'T SEE HOW A HOMOSEXUAL CAN BE LOYAL.

>> 'CAUSE HE'D ALWAYS HAVE THIS AGENDA TO TRY AND HUMP YOU,

RIGHT?

>> RIGHT. I MEAN, HE'D ALWAYS BE TRYING TO HAVE SEX WITH YOU

AND STUFF.

>> SO, YOU SHOULD PROBABLY TALK TO DIAZ ABOUT IT.

>> OKAY.

TALK TO HIM ABOUT WHAT?

>> WELL, ABOUT HAVING HOMOSEXUALS IN OUR COMPANY.

>> WE DO?

>> ONE OF THE GUYS IN OUR UNIT SPENDS A LOT OF TIME AT THIS

CLUB FOR DEVIANTS.

>> YEAH?

>> AND I'M PRETTY SURE THAT HE GAVE SOMEONE FELLATIO

IN THAT CLUB.

>> WELL, TELL ME WHO IT IS, BECAUSE I CAN TAKE CARE OF

THAT SORT OF THING.

>> I DON'T WANT TO GET ANY OF MY FRIENDS IN TROUBLE.

>> YOU DON'T WANT TO GET OF YOUR FRIENDS--

OKAY, YEAH, I THINK I KNOW WHO YOU'RE TALKING ABOUT.

>> BECAUSE WE'RE JUST TALKING OFF THE RECORD, RIGHT?

>> OKAY, WE'RE JUST TALKING OFF THE RECORD.

>> OKAY, WE'RE JUST TALKING OFF THE RECORD.

>> MORNING, SERGEANT.

>> DIAZ, GLOVER'S GOT SOMETHING TO SAY

I THINK YOU OUGHT TO HEAR.

>> OKAY, SOLDIER.

>> YES, SERGEANT. APPARENTLY, ONE OF THE MEN FROM OUR COMPANY

ATTENDS A CLUB THAT CATERS TO DEVIANTS.

>> DEVIANTS?

>> SERGEANT, WORD IS THAT HE GAVE FELLATIO TO A MAN

IN THIS CLUB.

>> YOU'RE SAYING THAT YOU SAW SOMEONE FROM THIS COMPANY

HAVING SEX WITH A MAN?

>> NO, SERGEANT. FELLATIO.

AND I DIDN'T SEE IT.

I JUST HEARD ABOUT IT.

>> SO, THAT MAKES IT A RUMOR, IN WHICH CASE YOU DON'T NEED

TO BE SPREADING IT.

DISMISSED, GLOVER.

>> YES, SERGEANT.

>> WHERE IS THIS CLUB?

>> NASHVILLE, FIRST SERGEANT.

IT'S CALLED VISIONS.

>> Diaz: DISMISSED, SOLDIER!

>> SERGEANT.

>> CLOSE THE DOOR ON YOUR WAY OUT.

GLOVER'S A TROUBLED KID.

HE'S ALWAYS RUNNING AROUND TELLING TALES.

THERE'S NO PROBLEM WITH THIS UNIT.

>> WE GOT A PROBLEM IN THIS UNIT IF THERE'S A HOMOSEXUAL

THERE.

I SAY WE FIND OUT WHERE THE BOYS HAVE BEEN SPENDING

THEIR WEEKENDS.

>> ACCORDING TO POLICY, YOU CAN BE A HOMOSEXUAL

AND SERVE IN THE ARMY AS LONG AS YOU DON'T DO

ANYTHING THAT'S HOMOSEXUAL OR TELL ANYBODY ABOUT IT.

>> SO, IF YOU DON'T DO ANYTHING HOMOSEXUAL, AND YOU DON'T TELL

ANYBODY YOU'RE A HOMOSEXUAL, WHAT MAKES YOU A HOMOSEXUAL?

DOES THIS POLICY MAKE ANY SENSE TO YOU?

COME ON, DIAZ.

>> YOU CAN'T DIRECTLY ASK SOMEONE IF HE OR SHE IS GAY.

THAT'S THE POLICY.

>> "DIRECTLY".

OKAY.

HEY, BAKER.

>> HOW YOU DOIN', SARGE?

>> HOW WAS YOUR WEEKEND?

>> GOOD.

>> YEAH? WHAT'D YOU DO?

>> THE USUAL SHIT, YOU KNOW.

HOOTERS WITH THE BOYS, HAVING BEERS.

ENDED UP AT THE WET SPOT.

GIVING ALL MY MONEY AWAY TO THE STRIPPERS.

>> THAT PLACE IS A GOLDMINE.

>> YEP.

>> HEY, YOU EVER HEAR OF THIS PLACE, UH--I THINK IT'S IN

NASHVILLE--CALLED VISIONS?

YOU EVER BEEN THERE?

>> I WAS THERE ONCE.

>> WHAT'S IT LIKE?

>> FILLED WITH FUCKIN' PERVERTS, SARGE.

NEVER WENT BACK.

>> WHO ELSE WENT WITH YOU?

I MEAN, YOU DIDN'T GO ALONE.

>> FUCK NO, SARGE.

I DIDN'T EVEN WANT TO GO THERE IN THE FIRST PLACE.

I'M DONE LIFTING HERE, SO...

I WAS GONNA GO DO SOME CARDIO.

LOOK, UH...LIKE I SAID, ONCE I FOUND OUT WHAT KIND OF

PLACE IT WAS, I MEAN, I NEVER WENT BACK.

>> IF IT WASN'T YOUR IDEA, WHOSE IDEA WAS IT?

>> IT WAS ONE OF FUCKIN' FISHER'S HAIR-BRAINED IDEAS.

IT WAS JUST A GAG, SARGE.

YOU KNOW, IT'S, UH...

JUST A LITTLE FUCKIN' GOOF.

WE JUST WENT THERE TO LAUGH AT THE FUCKIN' WEIRDOS.

>> OKAY, BAKER. OKAY, THANKS.

>> YOU'VE BEEN TALKING SHIT ABOUT ME.

>> WHAT?

>> YOU'VE BEEN TALKING SHIT ABOUT ME.

>> NO, I HAVEN'T.

>> FUCK, FISH, I'M GONNA GET MY ASS KICKED OUT OF THE ARMY.

THIS IS MY LIFE, MAN.

THIS IS MY CAREER.

WHAT, YOU THINK-- YOU THINK THIS IS FUNNY?

YOU THINK THIS IS SOME FUCKING JOKE?

>> HEY, CALM DOWN.

>> DON'T TELL ME TO CALM DOWN.

>> JUST RELAX, WINCHELL.

JESUS.

I THINK IT'S GLOVER.

>> GLOVER?

>> GOT A GRUDGE AGAINST YOU.

>> YOU PUT HIM UP TO IT.

>> NO, I DIDN'T.

>> YES, YOU DID.

YOU WERE THERE.

>> I WAS WHERE?

>> VISIONS.

>> SO WAS BAKER, MARTINEZ-- >> IT WAS YOU, FUCKER!

YOU STARTED THIS WHOLE THING FOR SOME SICK REASON!

>> HEY, DON'T FORGET, MAN-- I KISSED A PERSON

IN THAT PLACE.

IF I WAS STARTING RUMORS ABOUT YOU, I'D BE STARTING

RUMORS ABOUT MYSELF.

DOES THAT MAKE SENSE?

>> NO.

I--I DON'T KNOW.

BUT SOMEHOW YOU WORKED IT SO YOU COULD STAY CLEAN,

AND ALL THIS SHIT COMES DOWN ON ME.

>> YOU DRINK TOO MUCH, MAN.

YOU WANT TO HEAR SOME REALLY WEIRD SHIT?

WHEN I WAS LITTLE-- ABOUT TWO OR THREE--

MY MOTHER AND MY SISTERS USED TO DRESS ME UP

IN GIRLS' CLOTHES.

I REMEMBER THEM DOING THIS.

AND ONE TIME, WHEN I WAS 12, I GOT BUSTED FOR SOME SHIT

AT SCHOOL, AND THEY STRIP-SEARCHED ME.

AND THEY FOUND OUT I WAS WEARING MY SISTER'S PANTIES.

IS THAT FUCKED UP OR WHAT?

>> ARE YOU TRYING TO BE FUNNY?

>> NOBODY ELSE KNOWS THIS...

BUT YOU.

YOU'RE THE ONLY HUMAN BEING.

JUST YOU.

YOU'RE MY BATTLE BUDDY.

WHO HELPED YOU GET THROUGH THE FIRST FEW WEEKS?

>> YOU DID.

>> WHO HELPED YOU QUALIFY ON YOUR WEAPON?

>> YOU.

>> THAT'S RIGHT.

YOU NEED TO STICK WITH YOUR FRIENDS.

YOU WANT ME TO HELP YOU STUDY FOR SOLDIER OF THE MONTH?

>> YEAH, OKAY.

>> STAY LOYAL TO YOUR BROTHERS.

I'M HERE FOR YOU, MAN.

>> ALL RIGHT.

>> I MEAN, HOW MANY PEOPLE OUT THERE IN THE WORLD

WOULD REALLY LAY DOWN HIS LIFE FOR YOU?

HOW MANY PEOPLE WILL SAY THAT?

I WILL LAY DOWN MY LIFE FOR YOU.

>> THEIR SQUAD IS THE BEST IN THE COMPANY.

>> WHAT ABOUT THAT FIGHT HE HAD WITH FISHER?

WHAT WAS THAT ALL ABOUT?

>> WINCHELL'S COME A LONG WAY.

LET IT REST.

>> WHY DID YOU GOT TO THE CLUB?

>> ARE YOU ASKING ME IF I'M GAY?

>> OH, THAT'S QUITE A LEAP.

I DID NOT USE THAT WORD.

NO, I WAS TALKING ABOUT A CLUB, WHY YOU WENT THERE, WHY YOU

ENCOURAGED OTHERS TO GO.

>> THIS IS THE THANKS YOU GET TRYING TO HELP A FRIEND?

SERGEANT, IT'S COMPLICATED.

PEOPLE MY AGE--WE'RE REALLY TRYING TO FIND OURSELVES.

>> UH-HUH. YOU JERKING ME AROUND, FISHER?

>> NO, SARGE.

>> WHAT ABOUT THAT FIGHT BETWEEN YOU AND WINCHELL?

WHAT WAS THAT ALL ABOUT?

>> I THREW THE FIRST PUNCH, SERGEANT.

FISHER WAS GETTING ON MY NERVES.

I TOLD YOU THAT.

>> THAT'S RIGHT.

>> HOW ABOUT IT, WINCHELL?

YOU EVER BEEN TO THIS, UH-- TO THIS CLUB FOR DEVIANTS

CALLED VISIONS?

>> YEAH. FISH TOOK ME.

>> IT COMES BACK TO YOU, FISHER.

>> DOES IT, SARGE?

LOOK, I BELIEVE EVERYBODY'S ENTITLED TO A PRIVATE LIFE.

DON'T YOU?

>> IT'S GOT THE BEST MUSIC IN NASHVILLE.

>> >> IT'LL BLOW OVER.

>> ♪ I GOT A GAL

I GOT A GAL

WE LIKE TO DO IT

WE LIKE TO DO IT

FAGGOT, FAGGOT

FAGGOT, FAGGOT

YOU CAN'T HIDE

YOU CAN'T HIDE

SAID, FAGGOT, FAGGOT

FAGGOT, FAGGOT

YOU CAN'T HIDE

YOU CAN'T HIDE

SAID, FAGGOT, FAGGOT

FAGGOT, FAGGOT

YOU CAN'T HIDE

YOU CAN'T HIDE

>> Calpernia: I'M WORKING ON MY SPEECH, YOU KNOW?

WHERE YOU TELL THE JUDGES WHY YOU OUGHT TO BE CHOSEN

FOR MISS TENNESSEE ENTERTAINER OF THE YEAR.

MY THEME IS GONNA BE INDEPENDENCE--IN HONOR OF

THE FOURTH OF JULY.

AND I'M GONNA WEAR THIS WITH MY RED WIG.

WHAT DO YOU THINK?

YOU READY?

>> YEAH.

>> TA-DA!

LOOKS LIKE THIS.

WHAT DO YOU THINK?

>> IT'S GREAT.

>> DO YOU THINK IT'S TOO MUCH?

>> MM-MM. NO.

>> WELL, IT'S SUPPOSED TO BE A LITTLE TOO MUCH.

>> I KNOW YOU'RE GONNA WIN.

>> I WON'T BE NERVOUS WITH YOU THERE.

WHAT'S WRONG?

YOU'VE GOT SOMETHING ON YOUR MIND.

>> I CAN'T GO TO THE PAGEANT.

I'VE GOT TO STUDY FOR MY INTERVIEW FOR SOLDIER

OF THE MONTH.

YOU'VE REALLY GOT TO KNOW YOUR STUFF.

THEY ASK TOUGH QUESTIONS.

>> WELL, YOU CAN STUDY HERE.

OR IN MY DRESSING ROOM.

>> I'LL GET MORE DONE IF I STAY ON BASE.

>> OKAY.

UHH, WHO WEARS RHINESTONES BUT TACKY DRAG QUEENS LIKE ME?

I KNEW THIS WOULD HAPPEN!

>> WHAT?

>> DID YOU FIND SOMEONE ELSE?

>> NO.

>> IS IT A BOY OR A GIRL?

>> DON'T BE RIDICULOUS.

>> IF IT'S A BOY, AT LEAST I HELPED YOU COME OUT OF THE

CLOSET. IS IT YOUR ROOMMATE?

>> FISHER? ARE YOU KIDDING?

>> I SAW THE WAY HE LOOKED AT YOU.

>> FISHER'S STRAIGHT.

>> WHAT THE FUCK ARE YOU?

>> I DON'T KNOW WHAT I AM, OKAY?

>> WELL, YOU WILL NOT USE ME TO FIGURE IT OUT!

>> I DON'T KNOW WHAT PEOPLE WANT FROM ME!

I JUST WANT EVERYONE TO BE FUCKING HAPPY.

I KNOW IT SOUNDS STUPID.

>> I'M SORRY.

I'M SORRY.

>> I WANT YOU TO DO THE PAGEANT SO BAD.

>> I WILL.

>> I KNOW. AND I'M GONNA BE THERE WITH YOU IN SPIRIT.

>> I KNOW.

>> OH, GOD.

THIS IS EMBARRASSING.

>> RIGHT, BECAUSE SOLDIERS AREN'T SUPPOSED TO CRY.

>> EXACTLY.

>> YOU FORGET-- I'M A VETERAN.

AND THIS IS JUST BETWEEN US-- SOLDIER-TO-SOLDIER.

AND THIS IS JUST BETWEEN US-- SOLDIER-TO-SOLDIER.

NOW, LET'S GET OUT OF HERE.

>> WHERE ARE WE GOING?

>> MY FAVORITE PLACE IN ALL THE WORLD.

>> HEY!

>> OH.

>> WILL YOU SING FOR ME?

>> I ALWAYS SING FOR YOU.

>> NO, I MEAN NOW.

WITHOUT THE CROWD AND ALL THE PEOPLE AND THE MONEY.

PERFORM FOR ME.

>> WE LEFT THE BOOM BOX IN THE TRUCK.

>> NO BOOM BOX.

JUST YOU. YOUR VOICE.

COME ON, SING FOR ME.

>> WHAT I'M BREATHING?

THE SAME AS MINE?

WHAT I'M DREAMING?

MY HAND TREMBLES

IS IT YOU CALLING?

IF I'M ALONE IN THIS

THE CONSEQUENCES OF FALLING

>> THAT WAS BEAUTIFUL.

>> OH, YOU'RE TOO KIND.

THANK YOU SO MUCH.

THANK YOU ALL SO VERY MUCH.

I WAS BEGINNING

TO COALESCE A DREAM OF ME AND BARRY BEING TOGETHER.

THE DANGEROUS THING ABOUT DREAMS--YOU BEGIN TO BELIEVE

THEY MIGHT COME TRUE.

>> COMPANY...PRESENT ARMS!

COMPANY...ORDER ARMS!

>> THIS FOURTH OF JULY HOLIDAY, MOST OF US WILL BE ENJOYING

WELL-DESERVED REST AND RECREATION.

BUT WE CANNOT FORGET THAT THIS HOLIDAY HONORS THE BIRTH OF

OUR NATION AND THE BIRTH OF FREEDOMS THAT WE DEFEND

WITH OUR LIVES.

DON'T FORGET THAT.

IN OR OUT OF UNIFORM, YOU'RE ALWAYS A SOLDIER.

>> IF THIS THING BLOWS UP

IN MY FACE-- >> FIRE IN THE HOLE!

>> MEDIC!

>> YOU SCARED THE SHIT OUT OF ME, MAN!

MOTHERFUCKER!

>> ISN'T THIS BETTER-- HANGING OUT WITH YOUR BUDDIES?

>> YEAH.

>> LIKE A NORMAL GUY.

>> I AM NORMAL, MAN.

HA HA. I'M THE NORMAL ONE.

>> Glover: THAT'S NOTHING, MAN.

THAT'S, LIKE, BACK WHEN I WAS, UH, LIKE, 15 OR SO.

I WAS HARD UP FOR CASH.

SO, I NEEDED TO ROB A BANK.

YEAH. WELL, YEAH, I MEAN...

I ROBBED IT.

FIRST PART WAS THAT WE SCOPED THE PLACE OUT, RIGHT?

YOU GOTTA--YOU GOTTA SHOP IT.

>> BECAUSE IF I WAS GONNA ROB A BANK, I'D DEFINITELY WANT

GLOVER ON MY SIDE.

WOULDN'T YOU GUYS?

FINISH YOUR STORY.

IT'S A GOOD STORY.

IT'S A GOOD STORY.

>> SO, THE FIRST PLACE HAD BEEN ROBBED BEFORE,

AND I KNEW THAT, 'CAUSE IT HAD BULLETPROOF GLASS.

>> HOLY SHIT, BOY!

>> I MEAN-- >> HOLY MOLY, BATMAN!

>> THIS PLACE WAS TIGHT.

>> BULLETPROOF GLASS?!

>> ...MORE THAN $3,000 OUT OF THIS--

>> I MEAN, YOU GUYS DON'T

BELIEVE ME, DO YOU?

WHO THE FUCK ARE YOU GUYS?

YOUR GUYS ARE BULLSHIT!

YOU'VE NEVER DONE ANYTHING BIG WITH YOURSELVES BEFORE.

FUCKING ASSHOLES!

FUCKING ASSHOLES!

>> HEY! HEY!

>> FUCKING ASSHOLES!

>> GIVE ME THE BAT, GLOVER.

>> FUCK!

>> HEY, GLOVER!

>> MAN, GO PUT YOUR DRUNK ASS TO BED.

NO ONE WANTS TO HEAR YOUR BULLSHIT STORY.

>> BULLSHIT? BULLSHIT?!

YOU FUCKING HOMOSEXUAL!

>> I DON'T WANT TO FIGHT YOU.

>> YOU DON'T WANT TO FIGHT ME?

NO, YOU'D RATHER FUCK ME!

>> YO, THEY'RE LAUGHING AT YOU!

CAN'T YOU SEE THAT?

>> FUCK YOU!

>> HEY, HEY, GLOVER...

JUST TAKE IT EASY.

>> NO FUCKING FAGGOT'S GONNA TELL ME WHAT TO DO!

>> GLOVER, YOU DON'T WANT TO FIGHT WINCHELL.

>> BACK OFF, I DON'T NEED HELP.

>> YEAH, BACK OFF, MAN.

>> WHAT?

>> COME ON.

COME ON.

>> I DON'T WANT TO FIGHT.

>> YOU DON'T WANT TO FIGHT.

FUCKING HOMO.

FUCK YOU, FAGGOT!

YOU DON'T FIGHT?

YOU FUCKING HOMOSEXUAL!

YOU DON'T FIGHT?!

>> Men: WHOA!

>> COME ON, WINCHELL!

KICK HIS ASS.

>> YOU MADE ME DO THIS!

>> I'M GONNA FUCKING KILL YOU!

I'M GONNA...

FUCKING KILL YOU, MAN!

>> WHY'D YOU PUSH ME?!

>> I'M GONNA FUCKING KILL YOU!

>> YOU'RE THE ONE WHO PUSHED ME!

>> WHAT'S GOING ON OVER HERE?

>> A LITTLE DISAGREEMENT, SERGEANT.

I TOLD THEM TO SHAKE HANDS AND BE OVER IT.

GO ON, GUYS.

>> IT'S OVER.

>> IT'S NOT OVER, WINCHELL.

>> IT'S OVER, IT'S OVER.

>> KEEP IT DOWN.

ALL RIGHT?

>> YES, SIR.

>> KEEP IT DOWN.

>> I'M GONNA FUCKING KILL YOU!

>> SHUT THE FUCK UP, GLOVER!

YOU GOT PUNKED OUT!

>> I'LL KILL YOU, WINCHELL!

>> YOU'RE ALWAYS PUSHING THINGS OVER THE FUCKIN' LINE!

>> ME?

>> I'LL KILL YOU, WINCHELL!

FUCK YOU!

FUCK YOU!

>> YOU GOT PUNKED OUT BY THAT FAGGOT?

>> NO!

>> THAT FAGGOT KICKED YOUR ASS HERE IN FRONT OF EVERYBODY?

>> FISHER, DROP IT.

>> SHUT UP, MAN.

>> I'M GONNA KILL HIM!

YOU'LL JUST SEE!

I'M GONNA KILL HIM!

>> LIKE YOU ROBBED THE BANK?

>> I DID ROB THE BANK!

I DID ROB IT!

>> WHAT THE FUCK ARE YOU DOING?

I'LL CUT YOU SOME SLACK.

AFTER ALL, IT'S A HOLIDAY.

>> LISTEN, FISH...

NEXT WEEK, I'M GONNA APPLY FOR A TRANSFER.

MAYBE I CAN GET MY OWN ROOM.

WITH ALL THIS SHIT GOING ON, I NEED A PLACE WHERE I CAN

STUDY AND FOCUS AND SMOKE A FUCKIN' CIGARETTE

IF I FEEL LIKE IT.

WE'LL STILL BE BATTLE BUDDIES, BUT...I NEED SOME SPACE.

>> WE'RE GONNA PLAY SOME BASEBALL, IF YOU'RE INTERESTED.

>> SHH, SHH, SHH!

>> WE GOTTA SMUGGLE THIS THING

ALL THE WAY--

PUT IT IN MY BED.

YOU'RE GONNA DRINK IT.

>> HEY, JUST LEAVE ME ALONE, ALL RIGHT, WINCHELL?

>> I WANNA STRAIGHTEN THIS OUT.

>> I'M WARNING YOU, WINCHELL, JUST LEAVE ME ALONE.

>> HERE ARE THESE CIGARETTES.

THEY'RE--IT'S A PEACE OFFERING.

WE'RE IN THE SAME COMPANY.

I CAN'T HAVE BEEF WITH YOU.

TAKE THEM.

COME ON, TAKE 'EM.

>> >> I'M SORRY, ALL RIGHT?

IT'S COOL?

>> YEAH, IT'S COOL, IT'S COOL.

>> IT'S OVER.

>> All: HOO-AH!

>> WINCHELL! YOU GOTTA HELP ME TAKE THIS KEG UPSTAIRS

AND PUT IT IN MY BED...BITCH.

>> MAN, YOU'RE DRUNK.

I'M GOING TO BED. GOOD NIGHT.

>> OH, IT'S YOUR TURN TAKE CARE OF NASTY, MAN.

>> FINE.

COME ON, NASTY. LET'S GO.

>> AND KEEP THAT STINKING DOG OUT OF MY ROOM, WINCHELL!

>> FINE! WE'LL SLEEP IN THE HALLWAY.

COME ON, NASTY. COME HERE.

>> FINE, LET'S GO.

>> YOU KNOW, FUCK THIS SHIT.

I'M HUNGRY.

I'M GOING TO THE SHOPETTE.

YOU'RE COMING WITH ME.

>> ALL RIGHT.

I GOTTA BUY SOME SLIM JIMS.

>> WHAT YOU DOING?

GET OUT OF HERE.

>> Y'ALL LET A LITTLE BIT OF RAIN GET IN THE WAY

OF A GOOD BASEBALL GAME.

NASTY! HA!

DARLING

>> FORMER ENTRY IN THE EVENING

GOWN COMPETITION, CALPERNIA WEARS ONE OF HER OWN

CREATIONS--A SILK CHARMEUSE BIAS-CUT DRESS

IN BLUSH LILAC.

A TRIBUTE TO 1930s HOLLYWOOD GLAMOUR.

>> SHH, SHH, SHH!

>> HAPPY INDEPENDENCE DAY.

SIR!

>> YOU FELL ON YOUR ASS!

>> HEY, GLOVER...HOLY SHIT.

YOU GOT SOMETHING ON YOUR FACE.

>> WHAT?

>> I THINK IT'S A BRUISE FROM WHERE WINCHELL HIT YOU.

>> FUCK OFF, MAN.

>> THAT FAGGOT KICKED YOUR ASS!

>> NO, HE DIDN'T.

>> I KICKED-- I KICKED HIS ASS.

HE GOES CRAZY

WITH SOME LIGHTNING.

>> HE'S STRANGE.

>> OH, GOD, HE SCARES ME.

>> SHH, SHH, SHH.

WHY DON'T YOU SLAP HIM?

>> WHY DON'T YOU SLAP HIM?

>> WHAT, ARE YOU AFRAID?

>> NO.

>> SMACK HIM.

>> YOU WANT ME TO SMACK HIM?

>> GO ON! GO, GO!

CLOSE THE DOOR.

YOU WANT SOME RAMEN NOODLES?

>> NO, I'M FINE, MAN.

>> DID YOU HIT ME?!

>> NO, NO.

>> WHAT?

>> IT WAS GLOVER.

>> LEAVE ME ALONE! I'M NOT FUCKING AROUND WITH YOU!

WHAT?

>> >> FUCK YOU, WINCHELL!

>> FUCK YOU, WINCHELL!

YOU KNOW, WE SHOULD

GO FUCK HIM UP.

>> I EVER SHOWED YOU THIS BAT?

THIS RIGHT HERE IS AN AUTHENTIC AUTOGRAPHED LOUISVILLE SLUGGER.

LOOK. I BOOSTED IT FROM A STORE IN LINCOLN BEFORE I ENLISTED.

>> YEAH. I HAD A BAT JUST LIKE THIS EXACTLY.

I WOULD KILL SOME SKUNKS WITH IT, AND, MAN, IT STUNK

SO BAD, WE HAD TO BURN IT-- >> SHUT THE FUCK UP,

YOU MORON.

>> >> HOW DOES YOUR FACE FEEL

WHERE HE HIT YOU?

>> FUCK YOU, ALL RIGHT?

>> I MEAN, DOES IT HURT?

I LOOKS LIKE IT WOULD HURT.

>> FUCK YOU.

>> YOU SHOULD GO OUT THERE AND FUCK HIM UP.

>> HEY, YOU KNOW...

I OUGHT TO.

I REALLY SHOULD.

>> GO FOR IT.

>> ALL RIGHT.

>> ALL RIGHT.

>> OKAY.

COLD, COLD, COLD

DON'T I STILL LIVE FOR YOU?

EVERYTHING I POSSESS

WRAPPED IN A RIBBON

TIME IT MAY TAKE US

HOW I'VE PAID

IN THE PAST

IT'S LIVING THAT SCARES ME

TO DEATH

HEARING THE SOUND

OOH, YEAH

OF CRYSTAL

FROM THE HEAVENLY SKIES

DIVE UNDER

IN THE POOLS OF YOUR EYES

WITH YOU, BABY

INSIDE OF YOUR HEART

BABY?

CAN TEAR US APART

COME ON, NOW...

THE MORE I WANT YOU

AIN'T THAT JUST

DON'T YOU KNOW IT'S

COLD, COLD, COLD

OOH, OOH, OOH

I DID IT. I DID IT.

>> WHAT'S THAT?

>> IT'S HIS BLOOD.

>> IT'S A FUNNY COLOR.

>> YEAH.

>> WE SHOULD GO LOOK AT HIM.

>> OKAY.

YOU WON'T BE KICKING ANYBODY'S ASS NOW, FAGGOT.

>> IS HE DEAD?

>> NO, HE'S STILL MOVING.

SO?

SO, WHAT DO YOU WANT TO DO ABOUT THIS, HUH?

>> WHAT DID YOU DO?

>> WHAT?

>> WHAT DID YOU DO TO HIM?!

>> HEY, I DID WHAT YOU TOLD ME TO DO.

>> YOU--YOU FUCKER!

YOU FUCKIN' ASSHOLE!

>> WINCHELL? OH.

WINCHELL?

WINCHELL, GET UP.

>> WHAT ARE YOU DOING?

>> OH, MY GOD!

HELP ME, I THINK HE'S DYING.

HELP ME. HELP ME!

I THINK HE'S DYING!

I THINK HE'S DYING!

>> WHAT ARE YOU DOING?!

>> WHAT THE--

JESUS CHRIST!

STOP!

GOD DAMN IT, SOLDIER, STOP!

>> AAH!

>> DON'T YOU FUCKING DIE ON ME, WINCHELL!

DON'T YOU FUCKING DIE ON ME!

HELP ME! HELP ME!

MEDIC!

GET ME A FUCKING MEDIC!

>> TV newscaster: PERSONNEL

ON THIS MILITARY BASE ARE REELING FROM A DEADLY ASSAULT

THAT OCCURRED HERE LAST NIGHT.

THE INFORMATION WE HAVE AT THIS MOMENT IS THAT

IS THAT PRIVATE FIRST CLASS BARRY WINCHELL WAS ATTACKED

UNDER MYSTERIOUS CIRCUMSTANCES AT

APPROXIMATELY 1 A.M.

HE WAS TAKEN FIRST BY AMBULANCE TO THE HOSPITAL

ON POST, THEN TRANSFERRED BY HELICOPTER TO UNIVERSITY

GENERAL, WHERE SURGEONS WORKED FRANTICALLY TO

REVIVE HIM, BUT WITHOUT

SUCCESS.

I'VE BEEN TOLD THAT WINCHELL HAD MASSIVE HEAD TRAUMA,

AND HIS PARENTS HAVE AUTHORIZED HIM BEING REMOVED

FROM LIFE SUPPORT JUST MINUTES AGO.

THAT'S ALL WE HAVE TO DATE ON THIS STORY.

WE'LL KEEP YOU UP TO DATE ON IT AS DETAILS BECOME

>> Ginger: CALLIE?

CALLIE? OH, GOD.

>> BARRY!

>> I JUST HEARD ON THE NEWS.

>> THEY KILLED--

THEY KILLED HIM!

>> THE 9-1-1 SYSTEM WAS DOWN.

SO, THE BOYS TRIED TO CALL, AND, UM...

>> YOU SEEM UPSET, SERGEANT.

>> I AM UPSET.

I'M VERY UPSET.

I LOST ONE OF MY BEST SOLDIERS.

>> "THE EMERGENCY SYSTEM IS DOWN, THE EMERGENCY

SYSTEM IS DOWN!" NOBODY CAN CALL FOR HELP?

NO, THAT'S--THAT'S RICH.

THAT'S CONVENIENT.

YOU TELL ME WHY IT TAKES AN AMBULANCE ONE HOUR--

ONE HOUR--TO GET SOMEPLACE.

WINCHELL WAS STILL ALIVE.

>> I DON'T REMEMBER.

AM I GONNA GET KICKED OUT OF THE ARMY FOR THIS?

>> YEAH, I SHOWED HIM THE BAT.

I MEAN, IT'S--IT'S A GOOD BAT.

IT'S A GREAT BAT, IT'S VINTAGE.

IT'S THE KIND OF BAT THAT YOU SHOW PEOPLE.

BUT IF HE'S TELLING YOU THAT I MEANT FOR HIM TO KILL

WINCHELL, THAT'S-- THAT'S BULLSHIT.

>> Man: YOU'RE THE PERSON THAT TIME MAGAZINE REFERRED TO

AS "WINCHELL'S CROSS-DRESSING FRIEND"?

>> YES.

I WAS HIS FRIEND.

WE WERE SUPPOSED TO SPEND THE WEEKEND TOGETHER.

>> WE'RE FAMILY.

THIS IS A DEATH IN THE FAMILY.

>> DID YOU HEAR ANYTHING ABOUT HIM BEING HARASSED

OR BEING CALLED NAMES?

>> HE NEVER COMPLAINED ABOUT IT.

HE WAS AIRBORNE INFANTRY.

WHEN YOU'RE AIRBORNE INFANTRY, YOU DON'T COMPLAIN.

WHEN YOU'RE AIRBORNE INFANTRY, YOU DON'T COMPLAIN.

THE IMAGINATION IS THE MOST POWERFUL FORCE KNOWN

TO MANKIND, AND IT IS MY IMAGINED SELF--THE ONE WHO IS

BEAUTIFUL AND LOVING AND WORTHY OF BEING LOVED--

THAT HAS BEEN MY GUIDING FORCE,

MY INSPIRATION.

I CAN ONLY HOPE TO BECOME THE PERSON BARRY IMAGINED

ME TO BE.

I PRAY FOR THE COURAGE IT WILL TAKE TO BECOME

A REAL LIVE SOLDIER'S GIRL.

WHEN YOU PUT YOUR ARMS

I GET A FEVER

YOU GIVE ME FEVER

FEVER WHEN YOU

FEVER...

>> CAN I TALK TO MY MOM, PLEASE?

MOON LIGHTS UP THE NIGHT

WHEN YOU CALL MY NAME

>> I COULD FEEL HIS WILL

TO LIVE AND FEEL HIM DYING AT THE SAME TIME.

I WAS-- I WAS HOLDING BARRY

IN MY ARMS, YOU KNOW?

I WAS THE LAST PERSON TO DO THAT.

WHEN YOU KISS THEM

FEVER

WHAT A LOVELY WAY TO BURN

WHAT A LOVELY WAY TO BURN