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1
00:00:06,107 --> 00:00:08,507
(SIGHS)
I had the most
awful date last night!
2
00:00:08,509 --> 00:00:11,579
What do you expect
when you date guys
from Match.Clown?
3
00:00:12,683 --> 00:00:14,523
He was not a clown.
4
00:00:14,515 --> 00:00:16,385
Although that would
explain the giant feet.
5
00:00:16,387 --> 00:00:18,047
And tiny car.
6
00:00:19,190 --> 00:00:21,150
(KNOCK ON DOOR)
Oh, I'll get it!
7
00:00:21,152 --> 00:00:22,352
Me, too!
8
00:00:22,353 --> 00:00:24,203
Anything's better
than listening to this.
9
00:00:25,296 --> 00:00:28,156
Fine, from now on
I'll just talk
to the lizard.
10
00:00:28,159 --> 00:00:29,599
(GROWLS)
11
00:00:30,061 --> 00:00:31,731
Oh, like you have
something better to do.
12
00:00:34,465 --> 00:00:35,535
Ugh!
13
00:00:37,037 --> 00:00:40,137
Did somebody order
a mean old lady?
14
00:00:41,412 --> 00:00:43,242
Out of my way,
Zsa Zsa.
15
00:00:45,676 --> 00:00:48,176
Hello, Bessie...
Hello, sweet cheeks.
16
00:00:48,179 --> 00:00:49,179
(GROANS)
17
00:00:50,281 --> 00:00:52,351
I call upon you for a favor.
18
00:00:52,353 --> 00:00:55,363
I'm staying at a hotel
while my apartment
is being fumigated...
19
00:00:55,356 --> 00:00:57,426
Let me guess,
when they spray,
you scatter?
20
00:00:58,359 --> 00:01:00,189
I stand by my "ugh!"
21
00:01:01,832 --> 00:01:04,542
Anyway, they
don't take pets.
22
00:01:04,535 --> 00:01:06,465
Will you look after
Zeusey while I'm away?
23
00:01:06,467 --> 00:01:07,667
I hate animals.
24
00:01:07,668 --> 00:01:11,298
Give me one good reason
why I should watch
that dust mop with ears.
25
00:01:11,542 --> 00:01:12,742
How about
a thousand reasons?
26
00:01:12,743 --> 00:01:14,283
Welcome to
Bertram's Doggie
Day Care!
27
00:01:14,275 --> 00:01:16,305
Where we pamper
your mutt from
head to butt!
28
00:01:17,548 --> 00:01:19,348
You know he
would've done it
for just 20 reasons.
29
00:01:20,381 --> 00:01:23,451
I also have a
picture of myself
30
00:01:23,454 --> 00:01:25,524
so Zeusey
won't miss me.
31
00:01:26,257 --> 00:01:28,217
Can you put that away?
I'm trying to eat here.
32
00:01:31,122 --> 00:01:34,232
♪ Oh, oh, oh, oh
Oh, oh, oh, oh
33
00:01:34,225 --> 00:01:37,495
♪ Hey Jessie, hey Jessie
34
00:01:37,498 --> 00:01:41,198
♪ It feels like a party
every day
35
00:01:41,202 --> 00:01:44,582
♪ Hey Jessie, hey Jessie
36
00:01:44,575 --> 00:01:48,375
♪ But they keep on pulling
me every which way
37
00:01:48,379 --> 00:01:51,679
♪ Hey Jessie, hey Jessie
38
00:01:51,682 --> 00:01:55,292
♪ My whole world is changing
Turning around
39
00:01:55,286 --> 00:01:58,886
♪ They got me going crazy
Yeah, they're shaking
the ground
40
00:01:58,889 --> 00:02:02,849
♪ But they took a chance
on the new girl in town
41
00:02:02,853 --> 00:02:06,333
♪ And I don't want to let them
down, down, down
42
00:02:06,327 --> 00:02:08,257
♪ Hey Jessie
43
00:02:09,660 --> 00:02:11,630
♪ Hey Jessie
44
00:02:13,404 --> 00:02:17,244
♪ It feels like a party
every day
45
00:02:17,238 --> 00:02:20,668
♪ Hey, hey, hey,
hey, hey, Jessie ♪
46
00:02:24,815 --> 00:02:27,445
Okay, Jessie, are you
ready for your first
skateboard lesson?
47
00:02:27,878 --> 00:02:30,278
I think so. We're going
to start slow, right?
48
00:02:30,281 --> 00:02:31,281
Nope.
49
00:02:32,323 --> 00:02:33,323
(SCREAMING)
50
00:02:33,654 --> 00:02:35,864
Welcome to the
deep end, rookie!
51
00:02:37,658 --> 00:02:38,658
Whoa!
52
00:02:41,262 --> 00:02:42,592
Whoa.
53
00:02:43,734 --> 00:02:45,744
Are you okay?
Um...
54
00:02:45,736 --> 00:02:47,496
Jessie Prescott,
very single.
55
00:02:47,498 --> 00:02:48,768
Wait, what was
the question?
56
00:02:49,700 --> 00:02:51,640
I'm Brooks Wentworth.
Hello... Brooks.
57
00:02:53,844 --> 00:02:55,614
So, do you live
around here?
58
00:02:55,806 --> 00:02:57,276
Yeah, just across
the street.
59
00:02:57,278 --> 00:02:58,648
But I'm originally
from Texas.
60
00:02:58,649 --> 00:03:01,179
I love Texas! My family
owns a place out there.
61
00:03:01,181 --> 00:03:02,681
Oh, like,
a vacation home?
62
00:03:02,683 --> 00:03:04,423
No, like, Houston.
63
00:03:05,216 --> 00:03:06,656
You own Houston?
64
00:03:06,657 --> 00:03:08,587
What, Dallas is
too expensive?
65
00:03:09,290 --> 00:03:11,660
Actually,
it's family money.
66
00:03:11,662 --> 00:03:12,762
It doesn't matter
much to me,
67
00:03:12,763 --> 00:03:16,303
but it does mean
I can run my own non-profit
animal sanctuary.
68
00:03:16,497 --> 00:03:19,267
Here are the
baby giraffes we
rescued last week.
69
00:03:19,530 --> 00:03:21,370
Aww...
I love giraffes!
70
00:03:21,372 --> 00:03:23,272
With their long legs...
And those big eyes...
71
00:03:23,274 --> 00:03:25,284
They're like
the supermodels
of the Serengeti!
72
00:03:25,276 --> 00:03:26,376
(BOTH LAUGH)
73
00:03:26,677 --> 00:03:28,737
And they are almost
as cute as you are.
74
00:03:28,739 --> 00:03:29,939
(INCOHERENT MUMBLING)
75
00:03:32,883 --> 00:03:37,653
Well, you're good-looking,
nice, and you save
baby animals?
76
00:03:37,648 --> 00:03:40,248
If I was your girlfriend,
I'd tie you up and lock
you in the basement!
77
00:03:40,991 --> 00:03:43,221
No, just kidding.
I don't have a basement.
78
00:03:43,524 --> 00:03:44,634
(LAUGHS)
79
00:03:44,855 --> 00:03:46,725
Jessie, let's go.
80
00:03:46,727 --> 00:03:48,927
You know how cranky
Bertram gets if
we're late to lunch.
81
00:03:48,929 --> 00:03:51,259
Yeah, he might
punish us by giving
us seconds.
82
00:03:52,303 --> 00:03:53,363
Right.
83
00:03:53,364 --> 00:03:54,744
Well...
84
00:03:55,706 --> 00:03:57,406
Thanks again
for catching me.
85
00:03:57,408 --> 00:03:58,738
Thanks for being
such a catch.
86
00:03:59,239 --> 00:04:00,739
Okay, catch you later.
87
00:04:01,312 --> 00:04:02,672
(BOTH CHUCKLING)
88
00:04:03,644 --> 00:04:05,324
This is hard to watch.
89
00:04:08,619 --> 00:04:11,579
(CHEERING) Yes!
Another run
for the Yankees!
90
00:04:11,822 --> 00:04:14,732
I just do not understand
the appeal of baseball.
91
00:04:14,725 --> 00:04:17,755
The players have
to carry those big sticks,
and they spit a lot.
92
00:04:17,758 --> 00:04:19,628
It is neither
safe nor hygienic.
93
00:04:20,831 --> 00:04:23,631
Neither is
owning a giant lizard,
but here we are.
94
00:04:26,266 --> 00:04:28,536
You know, you might
learn to like baseball
95
00:04:28,539 --> 00:04:30,369
if you came to
a game with me.
96
00:04:30,371 --> 00:04:31,701
I would love to!
97
00:04:32,403 --> 00:04:35,313
Should I bring
my nose plugs for
when we do the wave?
98
00:04:35,306 --> 00:04:36,946
Sports reference,
nailed it!
99
00:04:42,313 --> 00:04:44,283
BERTRAM:
Here you go, Zeus.
100
00:04:44,655 --> 00:04:46,315
Zeus gets lobster
for lunch?
101
00:04:46,317 --> 00:04:48,457
Yesterday you
just opened the
refrigerator door
102
00:04:48,459 --> 00:04:49,819
and told us to,
"Have at it."
103
00:04:51,392 --> 00:04:54,572
You have to give
him an after-lunch
massage?
104
00:04:54,565 --> 00:04:55,865
Then a paw-dicure?
105
00:04:56,527 --> 00:04:58,627
Yes, but I'll tell you
where I draw the line.
106
00:04:58,629 --> 00:05:00,999
I am not doing
doggy yoga
107
00:05:01,001 --> 00:05:03,031
with that
over-pampered
Pomeranian!
108
00:05:04,675 --> 00:05:07,305
Do you wanna say
that a little louder
109
00:05:07,307 --> 00:05:10,037
near this picture,
which is obviously
a nanny-cam?
110
00:05:17,788 --> 00:05:20,388
Ugh, watching
Bertram do downward dog
111
00:05:20,391 --> 00:05:22,321
makes me want to
do upward lunch.
112
00:05:25,756 --> 00:05:27,056
Is there nothing on TV?
113
00:05:29,630 --> 00:05:32,060
That's enough.
Come on, Zeus.
114
00:05:32,803 --> 00:05:34,843
Before your playdate
with Miss Fifi,
115
00:05:34,835 --> 00:05:36,505
we have to finish
your mutt-scaping.
116
00:05:37,908 --> 00:05:40,968
I can't believe I forgot
to give that cute guy in
the park my phone number.
117
00:05:41,412 --> 00:05:42,412
Poor Jessie.
118
00:05:42,413 --> 00:05:44,043
If it makes you
feel any better,
119
00:05:44,044 --> 00:05:45,854
he was way
out of your league.
120
00:05:46,977 --> 00:05:49,347
Exactly how would that
make me feel better?
121
00:05:49,349 --> 00:05:50,349
(ELEVATOR BELL DINGS)
122
00:05:50,551 --> 00:05:52,951
Hey, Jessie!
I finally found you!
123
00:05:53,353 --> 00:05:54,533
And, I feel better.
124
00:05:55,756 --> 00:05:57,486
Brooks, what are
you doing here?
125
00:05:57,488 --> 00:05:58,688
Well, after
your fall earlier,
126
00:05:58,689 --> 00:06:00,429
wanted to make
sure you were okay.
127
00:06:00,431 --> 00:06:02,931
And, since you love
animals so much,
128
00:06:02,933 --> 00:06:04,573
I got you this
"Get Well" racehorse.
129
00:06:05,596 --> 00:06:07,496
Really? Wow.
Mm-hmm.
130
00:06:07,738 --> 00:06:08,838
Way to overshoot.
131
00:06:08,839 --> 00:06:10,699
She would've
been happy with
a scented candle.
132
00:06:11,972 --> 00:06:13,842
So her name
is Winter's Folly?
133
00:06:14,044 --> 00:06:17,114
Oh, she's a champion
out of Summer's Folly.
134
00:06:17,107 --> 00:06:19,407
Broke maiden
at Saratoga.
135
00:06:19,410 --> 00:06:21,550
A little slow on the
clubhouse turn, but...
136
00:06:22,883 --> 00:06:24,623
What? I like horsies.
137
00:06:25,656 --> 00:06:27,456
Guys, could you
give us a minute?
138
00:06:27,458 --> 00:06:29,418
Sure. We'll give
you your privacy.
139
00:06:31,962 --> 00:06:34,572
So, how did you
know where I lived?
140
00:06:36,066 --> 00:06:38,396
Well, when I
couldn't find you
in the phone book,
141
00:06:38,398 --> 00:06:40,098
I just had a
family friend do
a little snooping.
142
00:06:40,100 --> 00:06:42,030
Well, is your
friend a detective?
143
00:06:42,032 --> 00:06:43,832
Sort of.
He's the head
of the C.I.A.
144
00:06:45,135 --> 00:06:46,435
Really?
145
00:06:46,437 --> 00:06:48,477
If he mentioned
anything about
my browser history,
146
00:06:48,479 --> 00:06:50,509
Luke sometimes
borrows my laptop.
147
00:06:51,181 --> 00:06:54,721
That explains the weird
obsession with Kate Upton
and snowboards.
148
00:06:55,045 --> 00:06:56,045
(LAUGHS)
149
00:06:57,047 --> 00:06:58,087
Listen...
150
00:06:58,619 --> 00:07:02,089
I really came over
here to ask you out.
151
00:07:03,193 --> 00:07:05,933
Want to go for Chinese
food tomorrow night?
I would love to.
152
00:07:06,657 --> 00:07:07,657
BOTH: Yes!
153
00:07:09,099 --> 00:07:11,199
How did you know
Chinese food
was my favorite?
154
00:07:11,201 --> 00:07:13,501
Our friend at the C.I.A.
was pretty thorough.
155
00:07:13,504 --> 00:07:14,644
Oh.
156
00:07:14,865 --> 00:07:16,665
By the way, amazing
dental records.
157
00:07:16,667 --> 00:07:18,437
Thanks! I floss.
158
00:07:19,540 --> 00:07:20,610
I'll see you tomorrow?
159
00:07:22,072 --> 00:07:23,072
(YELPS)
160
00:07:25,546 --> 00:07:27,546
See you later, alligator.
161
00:07:29,580 --> 00:07:31,880
"See you later, alligator?"
162
00:07:31,882 --> 00:07:33,722
That is the dumbest
thing I've ever said!
163
00:07:34,084 --> 00:07:36,134
Not by a mile,
crocodile.
164
00:07:37,858 --> 00:07:39,158
We keep a list.
165
00:07:40,090 --> 00:07:42,230
Just for that,
you two do not get
to ride my racehorse!
166
00:07:44,464 --> 00:07:45,644
Wow...
167
00:07:45,636 --> 00:07:48,236
I haven't seen Jessie
this excited about
a guy since Tony.
168
00:07:48,799 --> 00:07:49,869
I know!
169
00:07:49,870 --> 00:07:52,170
And that's who she's
supposed to end up with!
170
00:07:52,172 --> 00:07:54,752
Not that big
hunk o'handsome,
171
00:07:54,745 --> 00:07:58,105
with his strong arms,
and his pretty face...
172
00:07:59,209 --> 00:08:00,209
Down girl.
173
00:08:04,715 --> 00:08:07,655
That was a humdinger
of a sporting event!
174
00:08:07,658 --> 00:08:10,558
I cannot believe
I caught a spheroid!
175
00:08:11,992 --> 00:08:16,102
It's a baseball!
And you didn't catch it.
176
00:08:16,096 --> 00:08:17,796
It fell into the
popcorn bucket
177
00:08:17,798 --> 00:08:19,728
you were using to
shield your face!
178
00:08:23,203 --> 00:08:25,843
I hate baseball!
And dogs!
179
00:08:26,276 --> 00:08:27,736
(BARKS)
180
00:08:27,738 --> 00:08:31,138
I know, I know.
It's time for your
aromatherapy,
181
00:08:31,141 --> 00:08:33,611
and for me to question
my life choices.
182
00:08:35,616 --> 00:08:38,116
Now he questions
his life choices?
(CHUCKLES)
183
00:08:38,118 --> 00:08:40,148
Don't change
the subject.
184
00:08:40,150 --> 00:08:41,650
I want this ball!
185
00:08:41,652 --> 00:08:43,152
It was heading
right for me.
186
00:08:43,153 --> 00:08:47,033
It was the longest
home run ever hit
in Yankee Stadium!
187
00:08:47,527 --> 00:08:51,697
Which is why
classmates who saw me
catch the ball on TV
188
00:08:51,702 --> 00:08:54,262
have already texted
me to ask to see it.
189
00:08:54,264 --> 00:08:57,314
I am getting texts!
Do you realize
what this means?
190
00:08:57,307 --> 00:09:00,667
Yes. Your phone
isn't "broken"
after all.
191
00:09:02,573 --> 00:09:04,043
Happy two week
anniversary.
192
00:09:04,745 --> 00:09:08,615
Awww, I had no idea
the two week anniversary
present was hummus.
193
00:09:09,680 --> 00:09:11,050
Well, you know
what they say,
194
00:09:11,051 --> 00:09:12,951
chick peas are
the legumes of love.
195
00:09:13,754 --> 00:09:15,264
No one says that!
196
00:09:15,255 --> 00:09:17,555
Not even the wives
of chick pea farmers!
197
00:09:18,889 --> 00:09:21,129
Excuse me, Emma,
may I please
get a napkin?
198
00:09:21,131 --> 00:09:23,231
Our doorman has
better hair than you!
199
00:09:24,695 --> 00:09:26,335
So, that's a "no"
on the napkin?
200
00:09:26,336 --> 00:09:28,196
You're lucky
you got hummus!
201
00:09:30,170 --> 00:09:31,100
There you are,
Brooksie.
202
00:09:31,101 --> 00:09:34,201
I got the oddest call
from our stable.
203
00:09:34,204 --> 00:09:36,084
It seems we're
missing a racehorse...
204
00:09:36,576 --> 00:09:39,246
Mrs. Chesterfield?
Tessie?
205
00:09:40,110 --> 00:09:42,110
Mother!
Mother?
206
00:09:42,813 --> 00:09:43,983
Ugh!
Ugh!
207
00:09:46,917 --> 00:09:50,057
Wait, wait, wait...
Mrs. Chesterfield
is your mom?
208
00:09:50,060 --> 00:09:52,020
But you don't have
the same last name.
209
00:09:52,022 --> 00:09:54,092
Mother changes it each
time she remarries.
210
00:09:54,094 --> 00:09:55,704
Call me old fashioned.
211
00:09:55,696 --> 00:09:57,996
I guess I just
respect the institution
of marriage.
212
00:09:58,598 --> 00:10:01,128
Yeah, she respects
it so much,
she did it six times.
213
00:10:02,602 --> 00:10:03,732
Brooksie!
214
00:10:03,734 --> 00:10:05,084
Why are you
with this girl?
215
00:10:05,075 --> 00:10:06,675
She's not good
enough for you.
216
00:10:07,137 --> 00:10:09,737
Well, maybe I like
girls who aren't
good enough for me!
217
00:10:11,111 --> 00:10:12,841
That came out wrong.
218
00:10:13,313 --> 00:10:15,223
No, I get it.
Still sweet.
219
00:10:15,816 --> 00:10:20,146
Trust me, Brooksie.
There are many, many, things
to despise about this girl.
220
00:10:20,150 --> 00:10:22,020
Oh, yeah?
Name one.
221
00:10:22,022 --> 00:10:26,162
Well, she's a nanny,
she has giant feet,
222
00:10:26,156 --> 00:10:28,096
and I can hear her
snore from downstairs!
223
00:10:29,029 --> 00:10:31,129
Hey! He said name one!
224
00:10:32,302 --> 00:10:36,072
Brooksie,
why can't you be more
like your brother?
225
00:10:36,066 --> 00:10:38,006
He always obeys me.
226
00:10:38,008 --> 00:10:40,108
For the last time,
he's not my brother.
227
00:10:40,110 --> 00:10:41,670
Zeus is a dog!
228
00:10:42,813 --> 00:10:45,723
I'm warning you,
Brooksie.
Don't defy me.
229
00:10:46,216 --> 00:10:49,876
Things can get
very ugly for you if
I don't get my way.
230
00:10:49,880 --> 00:10:51,850
Just ask my
ex-hairdresser.
231
00:10:52,182 --> 00:10:54,222
If you can find him.
232
00:10:57,127 --> 00:10:58,127
Huh.
233
00:10:58,128 --> 00:11:00,128
Well, I think we've
solved the mystery
234
00:11:00,130 --> 00:11:01,430
of the plugged up
garbage chute.
235
00:11:15,075 --> 00:11:18,245
Time for me to make
the greatest steal
in baseball history.
236
00:11:30,320 --> 00:11:31,320
Ah!
237
00:11:39,229 --> 00:11:41,799
Ooh, suction
cup arrows.
238
00:11:41,802 --> 00:11:43,102
Like that's scary.
239
00:11:43,433 --> 00:11:44,433
(SCREAMS)
240
00:11:48,108 --> 00:11:49,478
That is scary!
241
00:12:08,128 --> 00:12:09,128
(LAUGHS)
242
00:12:10,100 --> 00:12:11,160
Yes!
243
00:12:18,238 --> 00:12:19,238
(SCREAMING)
No!
244
00:12:25,345 --> 00:12:27,945
Well, well, well...
245
00:12:30,150 --> 00:12:31,450
What a surprise.
246
00:12:32,022 --> 00:12:35,532
What, that I decided
to steal your
precious baseball?
247
00:12:35,956 --> 00:12:38,926
No, that my giant
boulder actually
fit down the stairs.
248
00:12:38,929 --> 00:12:40,529
The physics were
iffy on that one.
249
00:12:42,292 --> 00:12:45,342
Luke, why do you want
this baseball so badly?
250
00:12:45,335 --> 00:12:48,865
I just do, okay?
It's kind of personal.
251
00:12:49,269 --> 00:12:51,539
I am a person.
Talk to me, bro.
252
00:12:52,843 --> 00:12:54,443
Well, the thing is...
253
00:12:55,305 --> 00:12:58,105
When I first moved
to New York, rooting
for the Yankees
254
00:12:58,108 --> 00:13:03,878
and going to the games
helped me feel like
a real New Yorker.
255
00:13:05,055 --> 00:13:07,855
I guess I just wanted
a piece of the team that
means so much to me.
256
00:13:08,288 --> 00:13:10,518
Aw. Luke, that is so...
(ELEVATOR BELL DINGS)
257
00:13:10,520 --> 00:13:11,860
Disgusting!
258
00:13:12,522 --> 00:13:16,232
I don't understand how
you can poop something
bigger than you are!
259
00:13:18,168 --> 00:13:19,498
It's easy if you focus.
260
00:13:27,177 --> 00:13:29,137
And how
was everything
this evening?
261
00:13:29,139 --> 00:13:30,439
Magnificent.
262
00:13:30,440 --> 00:13:32,410
The rabbit rillettes
were exquisite,
263
00:13:32,412 --> 00:13:35,492
and the chateaubriand
was inspired.
264
00:13:35,485 --> 00:13:37,285
Yep. Super yummy.
265
00:13:39,189 --> 00:13:42,219
Oh, goody.
I shall tell the chef it
was, "Super yummy!"
266
00:13:45,325 --> 00:13:47,225
Somebody's got his
bow-tie in a bunch.
267
00:13:48,128 --> 00:13:52,228
Jessie, I want you
to know my mother's
threats don't scare me.
268
00:13:52,963 --> 00:13:54,403
I really care
about you,
269
00:13:54,404 --> 00:13:56,514
and I will not
let her come
between us.
270
00:13:58,208 --> 00:13:59,938
I already have.
271
00:14:00,170 --> 00:14:01,540
(LAUGHS)
Oh.
272
00:14:03,113 --> 00:14:06,323
FYI, I've canceled
your credit cards!
273
00:14:06,316 --> 00:14:09,076
So, no more fancy dates,
no more fancy clothes...
274
00:14:09,079 --> 00:14:10,149
No more money.
275
00:14:10,420 --> 00:14:12,180
Point, Rhoda!
276
00:14:15,625 --> 00:14:18,255
Ooh, I see tonight's
special is beefcake.
277
00:14:19,289 --> 00:14:21,589
Note to self,
stop working out.
278
00:14:23,463 --> 00:14:27,943
My apologies, sir,
but your credit card seems
to have been declined.
279
00:14:27,938 --> 00:14:31,068
Perhaps you accidentally
gave me the lady's card?
280
00:14:32,502 --> 00:14:35,452
Joke's on you.
No bank will
give me a card.
281
00:14:35,645 --> 00:14:37,245
Quelle surprise!
282
00:14:44,084 --> 00:14:45,524
Mother, you
can't cut me off.
283
00:14:45,515 --> 00:14:47,155
Even you're
not that vicious.
284
00:14:47,157 --> 00:14:50,617
Oh, really?
Just ask your stepfathers
two through six.
285
00:14:50,620 --> 00:14:53,020
If you can find them.
(CHUCKLES)
286
00:14:53,023 --> 00:14:54,623
What, do you have
your own landfill?
287
00:14:55,665 --> 00:14:59,195
I'll be over at my table,
waiting for you to
come to your senses.
288
00:15:00,230 --> 00:15:03,970
And watching that
saucy waiter, Carlisle,
carve a rump roast.
289
00:15:05,335 --> 00:15:06,475
Forget about her.
290
00:15:06,476 --> 00:15:08,936
I'll pay for this
bill myself, so we can
just get out of here.
291
00:15:09,679 --> 00:15:12,079
Whoa, did we buy dinner,
or a space shuttle?
292
00:15:12,482 --> 00:15:14,642
It's okay. I'll just
call some friends, they'll
come lend us the money.
293
00:15:16,086 --> 00:15:18,046
Oh, no! She already
canceled my phone!
294
00:15:19,089 --> 00:15:21,349
Don't worry.
I have some friends
with deep pockets, too.
295
00:15:22,552 --> 00:15:23,552
Hi, friends!
296
00:15:24,294 --> 00:15:26,064
Can you lend us
some money for dinner?
297
00:15:26,426 --> 00:15:27,696
Oh, Jessie...
298
00:15:27,697 --> 00:15:29,227
Of course not.
299
00:15:31,031 --> 00:15:32,031
What? Why not?
300
00:15:32,232 --> 00:15:35,212
Because you and
Tony are perfect
for each other,
301
00:15:35,205 --> 00:15:37,405
and we're not
helping you until
you dump this guy.
302
00:15:38,268 --> 00:15:40,168
No offense,
dreamboat.
303
00:15:41,241 --> 00:15:42,171
My name's Brooks.
304
00:15:42,172 --> 00:15:45,222
Shh, beautiful...
No one wants to
hear you talk.
305
00:15:48,248 --> 00:15:50,278
Guys, I told you,
306
00:15:50,280 --> 00:15:52,350
Tony and I are not
getting back together.
307
00:15:52,722 --> 00:15:55,432
Fine. Then enjoy
restaurant jail!
308
00:15:55,425 --> 00:15:58,425
Meanwhile,
we're going to go sit
with Mrs. Chesterfield
309
00:15:58,428 --> 00:16:01,158
and watch the show.
Peace out, paupers.
310
00:16:04,594 --> 00:16:07,174
They're really
lovely children once
you get to know them.
311
00:16:11,701 --> 00:16:13,271
(GASPS)
Zeus!
312
00:16:13,273 --> 00:16:15,183
Stop chewing
on Luke's sock!
313
00:16:16,206 --> 00:16:19,176
Oh, great, now
you're probably gonna
need a tetanus shot.
314
00:16:21,981 --> 00:16:25,721
Wow, it looks like
you feel the same way
about these kids as I do.
315
00:16:27,317 --> 00:16:30,187
You're not such a
bad little guy after all.
316
00:16:31,661 --> 00:16:33,321
So, which kid
annoys you the most?
317
00:16:39,729 --> 00:16:42,699
Well, judging by
the little gift you left,
I'm guessing it's Emma.
318
00:16:46,276 --> 00:16:49,106
Jessie, you don't have
to scrounge for cash.
I'll figure something out.
319
00:16:49,109 --> 00:16:51,209
Well, actually,
I'm looking for
my pepper spray.
320
00:16:51,211 --> 00:16:53,381
This isn't the first
time I've had to
escape a restaurant
321
00:16:53,383 --> 00:16:54,713
because my date
couldn't pay the bill.
322
00:16:57,517 --> 00:17:00,117
So, you're still here,
323
00:17:00,120 --> 00:17:03,290
and yet the little
tray where the money
goes is still empty.
324
00:17:04,023 --> 00:17:07,203
You two do understand how
restaurants operate, right?
325
00:17:08,528 --> 00:17:10,298
Maybe we can work
something out.
326
00:17:11,101 --> 00:17:13,561
What would you say
to this gold watch?
327
00:17:15,335 --> 00:17:18,765
I'd say, "Hello, Watch!
Do you have any money?
328
00:17:18,768 --> 00:17:22,308
"As this establishment
does not accept payment
in timepieces."
329
00:17:24,174 --> 00:17:26,354
Okay, okay,
we will pay you,
330
00:17:26,346 --> 00:17:28,216
right after I get back
from the bathroom.
331
00:17:28,818 --> 00:17:30,118
Very well.
332
00:17:30,120 --> 00:17:33,120
And before you
ask, you don't need
a token to use it.
333
00:17:36,286 --> 00:17:37,656
I think I'm
winning him over.
334
00:17:40,530 --> 00:17:43,660
So, do you have a plan,
or did you just drink
too much iced tea?
335
00:17:44,334 --> 00:17:45,444
Both.
336
00:17:45,795 --> 00:17:48,095
There's a window
near the ceiling
in the ladies room.
337
00:17:48,098 --> 00:17:50,398
I can sneak out,
and empty
my bank account.
338
00:17:50,400 --> 00:17:51,840
And if that
doesn't work,
339
00:17:51,841 --> 00:17:54,701
I'll see if anyone here
is interested in buying
a slightly used racehorse.
340
00:18:00,450 --> 00:18:02,280
Maybe we should
have helped Jessie.
341
00:18:02,512 --> 00:18:04,482
Yeah, I feel
kind of guilty.
342
00:18:05,185 --> 00:18:08,485
Guilt disappears,
like wrinkles after
a visit to Dr. Lookgood.
343
00:18:11,191 --> 00:18:12,861
I guess you haven't
been there in a while.
344
00:18:18,168 --> 00:18:20,128
Jessie, what happened?
Are you okay?
345
00:18:21,201 --> 00:18:25,211
It turns out balancing on
a toilet seat in heels is
a lot harder than I remember.
346
00:18:26,136 --> 00:18:28,236
Aw, geez,
I'm so sorry.
347
00:18:29,309 --> 00:18:30,739
That is just
water, right?
348
00:18:32,111 --> 00:18:35,221
And tears.
When I dropped my purse,
it activated the pepper spray.
349
00:18:39,349 --> 00:18:42,549
Hey, Ravi.
I've given it a lot of
thought, and...
350
00:18:43,693 --> 00:18:46,563
I'm sorry I've been
hassling you about
the baseball.
351
00:18:46,556 --> 00:18:50,226
You should keep it
because I love you.
352
00:18:51,201 --> 00:18:53,801
Oh, thank you, Luke.
But I gave it away.
353
00:18:54,234 --> 00:18:56,414
I hate you!
Why would you do that?
354
00:18:57,907 --> 00:19:00,907
Well, actually,
I did not give it away.
355
00:19:00,910 --> 00:19:03,540
I traded it to the Yankees.
For this...
356
00:19:08,248 --> 00:19:09,818
Holy Mo Rivera!
357
00:19:14,324 --> 00:19:16,264
Hey, these are all signed
358
00:19:16,256 --> 00:19:18,756
to "Luke 'Chick Magnet' Ross!"
359
00:19:19,259 --> 00:19:22,759
Yes. I thought you
would like that better
than Luke "Philbert" Ross.
360
00:19:23,463 --> 00:19:25,643
And you have not
seen the best part.
361
00:19:28,167 --> 00:19:30,437
"Luke 'Chick
Magnet' Ross,
362
00:19:32,272 --> 00:19:36,312
"you are hereby
officially designated
a Yankees bat boy!"
363
00:19:36,946 --> 00:19:40,576
I hope you do not
get dizzy hanging upside
down in the dugout.
364
00:19:40,580 --> 00:19:42,350
Sports humor,
nailed it!
365
00:19:44,784 --> 00:19:47,194
What looks good,
Carlisle?
366
00:19:47,186 --> 00:19:48,386
Besides you.
367
00:19:50,690 --> 00:19:52,860
Looks like somebody
is ordering husband
number seven.
368
00:19:53,893 --> 00:19:56,873
Carlisle, whip cream
and keep it comin'!
369
00:19:57,327 --> 00:19:59,897
Yes, just what you need,
more sugar.
370
00:20:00,830 --> 00:20:02,770
All right, it's gotta
be here somewhere...
371
00:20:04,334 --> 00:20:05,414
Thank you.
372
00:20:06,406 --> 00:20:07,606
Okay, that was new.
373
00:20:09,279 --> 00:20:10,379
A-ha!
374
00:20:10,380 --> 00:20:12,280
Trying to escape, were we?
375
00:20:12,282 --> 00:20:15,252
Wait a minute...
This isn't the coat room.
376
00:20:17,517 --> 00:20:21,317
Nice try, Gussie.
Two points, Rhoda!
377
00:20:24,294 --> 00:20:26,334
Jessie, this is ridiculous!
378
00:20:26,326 --> 00:20:29,256
I'm just going to be a man,
and tell my mommy
to pay for our dinner!
379
00:20:30,960 --> 00:20:32,330
Brooks, wait.
380
00:20:32,562 --> 00:20:35,272
I'm not just worried about
paying for this meal.
381
00:20:35,265 --> 00:20:38,265
It's all the meals after this.
And for the rest of your life.
382
00:20:39,339 --> 00:20:41,369
Maybe it is better
if you just break up
with me.
383
00:20:41,371 --> 00:20:42,471
Jessie, no!
384
00:20:42,472 --> 00:20:45,382
Are you really willing to
give up your entire lifestyle,
385
00:20:45,375 --> 00:20:48,245
the money, everything,
for a girl you just met?
386
00:20:48,478 --> 00:20:50,378
Although, I do look
bangin' in this dress...
387
00:20:51,881 --> 00:20:54,881
You mean, the girl
who is willing to fall
into a toilet for me?
388
00:20:55,955 --> 00:20:57,685
Who loves animals
as much as I do?
389
00:20:59,289 --> 00:21:00,989
Who makes me melt
when I look into her eyes?
390
00:21:03,293 --> 00:21:04,693
Maybe this'll
answer your question...
391
00:21:05,835 --> 00:21:07,935
Mother, we need to talk.
392
00:21:07,937 --> 00:21:11,597
Oh, Brooksie,
thank heavens you've
come groveling back.
393
00:21:11,841 --> 00:21:14,471
Now, let's get out of here
before somebody sees me
with "new money" here...
394
00:21:15,875 --> 00:21:19,275
Mother, that's it!
I've had it! I don't
need your money.
395
00:21:19,278 --> 00:21:21,308
I'm sick of you
controlling me!
396
00:21:21,311 --> 00:21:23,611
I don't control you!
397
00:21:23,613 --> 00:21:24,613
Blow.
398
00:21:24,954 --> 00:21:26,024
No! No!
399
00:21:26,716 --> 00:21:29,786
I've had a better time
with Jessie these
past few weeks
400
00:21:29,789 --> 00:21:31,659
than I've ever
had in my life!
401
00:21:32,291 --> 00:21:33,591
You should really
try go-karting.
402
00:21:35,064 --> 00:21:36,774
So you can
keep it all, Mother.
403
00:21:36,766 --> 00:21:39,496
Because I'd rather
be poor and happy
with Jessie,
404
00:21:39,499 --> 00:21:40,899
than rich without her!
405
00:21:42,502 --> 00:21:45,032
That's the most
wonderful thing a guy
has ever said about me!
406
00:21:45,875 --> 00:21:47,505
Seriously,
number two is,
407
00:21:47,507 --> 00:21:50,777
"It's so refreshing to date
a girl who really knows her
way around a carburetor."
408
00:21:52,512 --> 00:21:55,452
Jessie, for the last
time, we want you
to be with Tony!
409
00:21:55,445 --> 00:21:58,645
Brooks, for the last time,
I want you to be with
anybody but Stressie!
410
00:21:59,919 --> 00:22:01,919
Hey! You know what,
411
00:22:01,921 --> 00:22:04,421
it's not about what
makes you happy.
412
00:22:04,424 --> 00:22:05,634
It's about what
makes us happy!
413
00:22:05,625 --> 00:22:09,095
That's right! And we will
stay here in this restaurant
forever if we have to!
414
00:22:09,559 --> 00:22:11,329
Oh, no you won't!
415
00:22:11,761 --> 00:22:15,331
You people have caused
enough commotion.
416
00:22:15,334 --> 00:22:16,974
And you're covered
in toilet water.
417
00:22:18,608 --> 00:22:20,338
I will pay your bill.
418
00:22:21,010 --> 00:22:22,810
Thank you.
I'll pay you back.
419
00:22:23,072 --> 00:22:25,852
Your absence will
be payment enough.
420
00:22:26,115 --> 00:22:27,875
Plus, I'll take
that watch.
421
00:22:29,519 --> 00:22:30,519
Ow!
422
00:22:30,780 --> 00:22:32,020
That's your tip.
423
00:22:33,082 --> 00:22:35,352
And here's a tip for you.
Call your lawyer,
424
00:22:35,354 --> 00:22:37,394
I'm suing you
for harassment.
425
00:22:38,057 --> 00:22:39,587
(LAUGHS)
426
00:22:39,589 --> 00:22:41,759
I love it when they
play hard to get.
427
00:22:44,394 --> 00:22:45,444
So...
428
00:22:46,496 --> 00:22:48,836
You may have
won this battle.
429
00:22:48,838 --> 00:22:50,668
Point, lovebirds!
430
00:22:51,801 --> 00:22:53,401
But the war is not over!
431
00:22:54,073 --> 00:22:55,583
Come, urchins.
432
00:22:56,606 --> 00:22:57,946
Are you sure
there's enough room
on your broom?
433
00:23:00,109 --> 00:23:02,679
Well, I don't know
how we're going
to get home.
434
00:23:03,713 --> 00:23:05,113
I have a feeling
Mother's canceled my limo.
435
00:23:06,556 --> 00:23:09,486
Well, we could do
what most New Yorkers do,
and take the subway.
436
00:23:09,719 --> 00:23:11,459
I've always
wanted to do that!
437
00:23:11,461 --> 00:23:13,521
Are there really
giant alligators down there?
438
00:23:13,793 --> 00:23:16,173
Yes, but they are
not as scary as that guy
who plays his nose hair.
439
00:23:17,727 --> 00:23:19,627
Hold my hand?
Gladly!
440
00:23:26,806 --> 00:23:30,506
See, I told you!
It's freaky!
441
00:23:30,510 --> 00:23:33,180
So Bertram's watching
Dog Dynasty with Zeus.
442
00:23:33,182 --> 00:23:34,782
What's so strange
about that?
443
00:23:34,984 --> 00:23:39,094
What's strange is that
Mrs. Chesterfield took Zeus
back two hours ago!
444
00:23:40,950 --> 00:23:42,150
More cheese, buddy?
445
00:23:42,151 --> 00:23:43,691
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
446
00:23:45,194 --> 00:23:47,134
Num, num, num, num.
447
00:23:49,098 --> 00:23:50,728
(BARKING)
448
00:23:52,001 --> 00:23:53,501
Oh, you're welcome.
449
00:23:53,733 --> 00:23:55,063
(IMITATING DOG PANTING)
450
00:23:56,566 --> 00:23:57,936
Back away
from the butler.
451
00:23:58,608 --> 00:24:00,708
But if he starts
taking it for walks,
we're calling your parents.
34086
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