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1
00:00:05,716 --> 00:00:07,546
I hope Jessie's
audition went well.
2
00:00:07,548 --> 00:00:09,338
Does anyone know
what it was for?
(DOOR CLOSING)
3
00:00:13,094 --> 00:00:14,694
I just had
the worst day ever.
4
00:00:15,346 --> 00:00:16,896
Well, mine just
got better.
5
00:00:16,897 --> 00:00:18,727
(LAUGHING)
6
00:00:18,729 --> 00:00:22,229
Okay, so I thought
I was auditioning
for a local TV commercial.
7
00:00:22,233 --> 00:00:24,363
Then, suddenly they
zip me into this get-up,
8
00:00:24,355 --> 00:00:26,355
and I'm standing on
the street, trying to
get people to eat at
9
00:00:26,357 --> 00:00:27,697
"Dan's Diggity
Dog Delight!"
10
00:00:27,698 --> 00:00:30,198
Which, by the way,
smells worse than
the inside of this costume.
11
00:00:31,242 --> 00:00:33,322
Seriously, who wore this
before me, Big Foot?
12
00:00:34,205 --> 00:00:36,785
ALL: Oh! Whoa!
13
00:00:37,498 --> 00:00:39,538
Why didn't you just
take the suit off?
14
00:00:39,540 --> 00:00:41,750
Although that mustard
brings out your eyes.
15
00:00:42,583 --> 00:00:44,133
Because the zipper
got stuck.
16
00:00:44,125 --> 00:00:45,925
And then the bus driver
said he wouldn't let me on
17
00:00:45,926 --> 00:00:47,586
because food
is not allowed.
18
00:00:49,300 --> 00:00:51,930
It is New York,
I am sure no one noticed.
19
00:00:51,932 --> 00:00:53,052
Oh, yeah?
20
00:00:53,053 --> 00:00:56,273
I was chased for
20 blocks by hungry dogs
and angry vegans.
21
00:00:56,267 --> 00:00:57,347
Considering they
don't eat meat,
22
00:00:57,348 --> 00:00:59,348
those lentil lovers
have a surprising
amount of stamina.
23
00:01:01,352 --> 00:01:04,112
Well, I'm just glad
you finally got...
Don't say it!
24
00:01:04,105 --> 00:01:05,275
A big roll!
25
00:01:05,276 --> 00:01:08,066
(BERTRAM AND KIDS LAUGHING)
26
00:01:08,569 --> 00:01:10,189
(GRUNTS)
Hey!
27
00:01:10,191 --> 00:01:11,781
You're a meany weenie.
28
00:01:14,405 --> 00:01:17,325
♪ Oh, oh, oh, oh
Oh, oh, oh, oh
29
00:01:17,328 --> 00:01:20,998
♪ Hey Jessie, hey Jessie
30
00:01:21,001 --> 00:01:24,511
♪ It feels like a party
every day
31
00:01:24,505 --> 00:01:28,255
♪ Hey Jessie, hey Jessie
32
00:01:28,259 --> 00:01:31,669
♪ But they keep on pulling
me every which way
33
00:01:31,672 --> 00:01:35,182
♪ Hey Jessie, hey Jessie
34
00:01:35,176 --> 00:01:38,636
♪ My whole world is changing
Turning around
35
00:01:38,639 --> 00:01:42,389
♪ They got me going crazy
Yeah, they're shaking
the ground
36
00:01:42,393 --> 00:01:46,443
♪ But they took a chance
on the new girl in town
37
00:01:46,437 --> 00:01:49,567
♪ And I don't want to let them
down, down, down
38
00:01:49,570 --> 00:01:53,190
♪ Hey Jessie
39
00:01:53,194 --> 00:01:56,704
♪ Hey Jessie
40
00:01:56,697 --> 00:02:00,237
♪ It feels like a party
every day
41
00:02:00,241 --> 00:02:04,671
♪ Hey, hey, hey,
hey, hey, Jessie ♪
42
00:02:10,251 --> 00:02:12,131
Bertram, I have some
very exciting news!
43
00:02:12,132 --> 00:02:13,172
Great!
44
00:02:14,255 --> 00:02:17,515
Get back here or your
fancy new eight-slice
toaster is toast!
45
00:02:19,390 --> 00:02:21,970
Okay, after my whole
hot dog debacle,
46
00:02:21,972 --> 00:02:25,272
I realized I needed to
do something to take
my career to the next level.
47
00:02:25,266 --> 00:02:27,436
Don't you need
a career first?
(CHUCKLES)
48
00:02:28,269 --> 00:02:29,319
Ow!
49
00:02:29,820 --> 00:02:33,480
So I signed up for a
short film competition
called Quick Flicks.
50
00:02:33,484 --> 00:02:35,204
Contestants have
just 24 hours
51
00:02:35,196 --> 00:02:37,276
to write, shoot,
and star in a film!
52
00:02:37,278 --> 00:02:39,078
Oh, so then you can
fail three times!
53
00:02:41,282 --> 00:02:42,242
(GRUNTS)
54
00:02:43,454 --> 00:02:44,964
You were saying?
55
00:02:45,286 --> 00:02:48,246
The winner gets
their film shown in a
prestigious film festival.
56
00:02:48,249 --> 00:02:49,419
(BEEPS)
57
00:02:49,420 --> 00:02:51,500
Oh! They just emailed
me my theme.
58
00:02:51,502 --> 00:02:52,842
It's "Love."
59
00:02:52,843 --> 00:02:54,683
Oh, this is perfect!
I know all about love.
60
00:02:54,675 --> 00:02:56,925
So it's going to be
a horror movie?
(LAUGHING)
61
00:02:57,428 --> 00:02:59,348
My next film is going
to be a mystery about
62
00:02:59,350 --> 00:03:01,220
the disappearance
of an annoying butler!
63
00:03:01,602 --> 00:03:03,472
Spoiler alert,
the nanny did it!
64
00:03:07,898 --> 00:03:10,308
So, what do you guys
think of my script?
Be honest.
65
00:03:10,311 --> 00:03:12,311
Unless you hated it,
then be quiet.
66
00:03:13,153 --> 00:03:15,323
It is riveting,
Madame Tarantino.
67
00:03:15,986 --> 00:03:19,196
I don't know who
this Zuni character is,
68
00:03:19,199 --> 00:03:21,319
but I find the scene
where she happily
69
00:03:21,322 --> 00:03:23,992
finishes her homework
totally unbelievable.
70
00:03:25,085 --> 00:03:27,245
Am I to assume I will
play the role of Duke,
71
00:03:27,248 --> 00:03:29,208
the suave
ladies' man?
72
00:03:30,631 --> 00:03:32,831
I'm pretty sure
that's me, dude.
73
00:03:33,254 --> 00:03:35,644
But the only other
boy role is Tavi,
74
00:03:35,636 --> 00:03:38,676
the pathetic wretch
whose only friend
is a wizard.
75
00:03:38,679 --> 00:03:40,429
Oh, that's suppose
to say, "Lizard."
76
00:03:41,392 --> 00:03:43,262
Oh! Oh...
77
00:03:44,805 --> 00:03:47,265
Zuri, you are also in
charge of set design.
78
00:03:47,268 --> 00:03:48,808
Great, what's
my budget?
79
00:03:48,809 --> 00:03:49,899
Nothing.
80
00:03:49,900 --> 00:03:51,440
Then that's what
you're getting.
81
00:03:52,022 --> 00:03:53,482
Bertram, you are
craft services.
82
00:03:53,484 --> 00:03:54,624
Ooh, what's that?
83
00:03:54,615 --> 00:03:55,945
It means you
feed the crew.
84
00:03:55,946 --> 00:03:57,946
Oh, so basically
what I always do.
85
00:03:57,948 --> 00:04:01,238
Thanks for including me
in your glamorous world
of show business.
86
00:04:02,363 --> 00:04:04,203
Okay, people,
we only have
87
00:04:04,204 --> 00:04:06,254
13 hours to get this
movie in the can.
88
00:04:06,246 --> 00:04:08,366
I better go get Tony a
copy of the script.
89
00:04:08,369 --> 00:04:11,329
Do you really think
Tony wants to re-create
90
00:04:11,332 --> 00:04:13,292
how you met
and fell in love?
91
00:04:13,294 --> 00:04:16,304
Even though you dumped him
and stomped on his heart?
92
00:04:16,297 --> 00:04:18,297
Not that I'm
taking sides.
93
00:04:19,219 --> 00:04:22,259
The breakup was mutual,
but maybe you're right.
94
00:04:22,262 --> 00:04:25,102
It might be kind of
awkward to act out our
relationship on camera.
95
00:04:25,095 --> 00:04:27,845
It was awkward enough
for those of us who had
to watch it in real life.
96
00:04:29,269 --> 00:04:30,979
So, who is going
to play "Toby,"
97
00:04:30,981 --> 00:04:33,521
the handsome Jersey
doorman you fall for?
98
00:04:33,814 --> 00:04:36,574
(IN JERSEY ACCENT)
Bada-bing! I got your
doorman right here.
99
00:04:37,778 --> 00:04:39,158
And you can
keep him.
100
00:04:41,241 --> 00:04:42,901
Why don't you hire
Nicolas Cage?
101
00:04:42,903 --> 00:04:44,113
He'll do anything.
102
00:04:44,905 --> 00:04:46,615
I can't afford
Nicolas Cage!
103
00:04:46,617 --> 00:04:48,867
Can't even afford
to download
one of his movies.
104
00:04:48,869 --> 00:04:50,709
And I don't have
the time to sit
and audition
105
00:04:50,711 --> 00:04:53,081
tons of young,
good looking guys!
106
00:04:56,296 --> 00:04:57,836
You didn't have
the time, huh?
107
00:04:58,178 --> 00:05:02,298
Hey, casting is a
very important part of
the filmmaking process.
108
00:05:02,302 --> 00:05:04,012
Mmm-hmm.
(ELEVATOR PINGS)
109
00:05:06,136 --> 00:05:07,306
Um, Jessie,
110
00:05:07,307 --> 00:05:09,637
why have so many
good looking guys
been coming up here?
111
00:05:09,930 --> 00:05:11,390
Including,
now, myself.
112
00:05:12,272 --> 00:05:14,232
I'm making a movie
about our relationship.
113
00:05:14,234 --> 00:05:16,444
And these guys are
auditioning to play you.
114
00:05:16,437 --> 00:05:17,397
Oh.
115
00:05:17,398 --> 00:05:19,398
But why didn't you just
ask me to play me?
116
00:05:19,400 --> 00:05:21,860
I mean, I saw that
movie where Lincoln
played himself.
117
00:05:22,533 --> 00:05:25,213
That wasn't Lincoln.
It was...
Don't bother.
118
00:05:25,205 --> 00:05:28,245
I spent two hours trying
to explain to him
that E.T. was a puppet.
119
00:05:28,539 --> 00:05:29,999
He rode a bicycle!
120
00:05:31,832 --> 00:05:35,422
Okay, well, if you're
okay with it, I'd love
to have you play you.
121
00:05:35,416 --> 00:05:37,916
Thanks! I'll make
a great me.
(CHUCKLES)
122
00:05:37,918 --> 00:05:41,378
Oh, Jessie, I just
thought of a way to make
your script better.
123
00:05:41,382 --> 00:05:42,962
Maybe even good!
124
00:05:44,054 --> 00:05:45,974
Your love story
needs a twist.
125
00:05:47,888 --> 00:05:50,388
I don't care that
our two kinds are
forbidden to love,
126
00:05:50,931 --> 00:05:52,271
we belong
together!
127
00:05:52,683 --> 00:05:54,823
(HOWLING)
128
00:05:54,815 --> 00:05:57,235
Oh, Toby, I love it
when you howl
with passion.
129
00:05:57,237 --> 00:05:59,027
That's actually pain.
You're standing on my paw.
130
00:05:59,029 --> 00:06:00,649
Oh, sorry.
131
00:06:01,031 --> 00:06:03,361
And I love you more
than O-positive.
132
00:06:03,363 --> 00:06:05,293
Kiss me! Ugh!
133
00:06:05,285 --> 00:06:07,365
What's wrong?
I just combed my arms.
134
00:06:07,367 --> 00:06:08,747
I know,
and they're lovely,
135
00:06:08,749 --> 00:06:11,249
it's just that you have
a slight flea problem.
136
00:06:11,792 --> 00:06:13,412
Aw, wolfman!
137
00:06:13,414 --> 00:06:15,924
This stupid collar was
supposed to be good
for three months!
138
00:06:16,707 --> 00:06:19,047
Hi! Hi! Hi! Hi!
139
00:06:19,299 --> 00:06:21,549
Have you guys seen
a sparkly, pink ball,
with teeth marks?
140
00:06:21,552 --> 00:06:23,922
kinda smells
like this...
(EXHALES DEEPLY)
141
00:06:25,175 --> 00:06:27,175
I haven't seen
you at any of
the pack meetings.
142
00:06:27,177 --> 00:06:28,307
What kind of
werewolf are you?
143
00:06:28,308 --> 00:06:29,768
I'm a were-poodle!
(CHUCKLING)
144
00:06:30,100 --> 00:06:31,310
You're not
very scary.
145
00:06:31,311 --> 00:06:32,811
But I'm adorable!
146
00:06:32,813 --> 00:06:34,183
And hypoallergenic.
147
00:06:34,685 --> 00:06:36,725
You have a little
human in your fangs.
148
00:06:37,067 --> 00:06:38,857
(CAT MEWING)
Ooh, cat! (CHUCKLES)
149
00:06:40,651 --> 00:06:42,611
Where's a silver bullet
when you need one?
150
00:06:44,525 --> 00:06:46,325
Okay, even if
I wanted to do that,
151
00:06:46,326 --> 00:06:47,696
which I don't,
152
00:06:47,698 --> 00:06:50,868
where would I find
a werewolf costume
on such short notice?
153
00:06:50,871 --> 00:06:52,451
Easy, just shave
Bertram's back
154
00:06:52,453 --> 00:06:53,703
and glue it
all over Tony.
155
00:06:54,835 --> 00:06:57,665
Okay, I can't tell you
how many different ways
that makes me nauseous.
156
00:07:00,631 --> 00:07:04,341
Okay people,
we only have 10 hours
to finish this film.
157
00:07:04,344 --> 00:07:06,264
We need to shoot
the scene where
"Chantal" meets "Toby."
158
00:07:06,256 --> 00:07:08,306
Hey, who's this
"Toby" guy?
159
00:07:08,308 --> 00:07:11,218
You! Seriously,
you have the memory
of a goldfish.
160
00:07:12,973 --> 00:07:16,193
So I am "Tavi,"
and Luke is "Duke."
161
00:07:16,186 --> 00:07:18,106
How do you get
"Chantal" from Jessie?
162
00:07:18,398 --> 00:07:19,688
I just always
liked that name.
163
00:07:20,440 --> 00:07:21,730
Where's Zuri?
164
00:07:22,563 --> 00:07:25,533
I'm sorry,
but it took me forever
to get her to wear this.
165
00:07:25,526 --> 00:07:28,236
I don't wear
tutus anymore.
166
00:07:28,238 --> 00:07:29,618
What am I, a kid?
167
00:07:30,491 --> 00:07:32,281
She bites harder
than Mrs. Kipling.
168
00:07:32,282 --> 00:07:35,252
And at least Mrs. K
apologizes by leaving
a rat at your door.
169
00:07:37,247 --> 00:07:39,377
Zuri, this is how
you were dressed
when we met.
170
00:07:39,379 --> 00:07:41,789
Now get in position
and no more biting.
171
00:07:42,382 --> 00:07:44,422
Okay, can we finally
get the first shot!
172
00:07:44,424 --> 00:07:46,184
Craft services is
here with lunch!
173
00:07:46,176 --> 00:07:48,346
No, Bertram, no,
we don't have time to eat!
174
00:07:48,348 --> 00:07:50,848
But I worked so hard.
I even chopped stuff.
175
00:07:51,301 --> 00:07:52,851
Okay, fine!
176
00:07:54,014 --> 00:07:55,154
(MUFFLED VOICE)
Happy now?
177
00:07:55,145 --> 00:07:56,645
There were
toothpicks in those.
178
00:07:56,647 --> 00:07:58,227
(GAGGING)
179
00:08:00,440 --> 00:08:01,600
Okay.
180
00:08:01,602 --> 00:08:03,362
Do you know
what you have to do?
Of course.
181
00:08:03,363 --> 00:08:05,203
When you fall
to the ground
I say,
182
00:08:05,195 --> 00:08:06,815
"Aw, man.
Are you okay?"
Mmm-hmm.
183
00:08:06,817 --> 00:08:08,487
Then help you up,
like when we first met.
184
00:08:08,488 --> 00:08:10,698
Great. And since
I can't afford a cab,
185
00:08:10,701 --> 00:08:12,321
I'm just going to
run and fall.
186
00:08:12,322 --> 00:08:14,412
Okay,
let's do this!
187
00:08:14,414 --> 00:08:15,504
Action!
188
00:08:16,246 --> 00:08:17,376
Whoa!
189
00:08:17,377 --> 00:08:18,667
Aw...
190
00:08:18,669 --> 00:08:20,499
What's my
line again?
191
00:08:20,500 --> 00:08:22,040
"Aw, man!"
192
00:08:24,214 --> 00:08:27,134
Ten bucks says the battery
in the camera dies
before we get this.
193
00:08:27,127 --> 00:08:28,507
(BOTH LAUGHING)
194
00:08:28,508 --> 00:08:29,838
Okay, Tony,
195
00:08:29,840 --> 00:08:31,220
let's try
this again.
196
00:08:31,762 --> 00:08:32,842
Action!
197
00:08:33,594 --> 00:08:34,904
Whoa!
198
00:08:34,895 --> 00:08:36,305
Aw, Mom!
199
00:08:37,227 --> 00:08:38,977
Aw, man!
200
00:08:38,979 --> 00:08:41,229
Sorry, Jessie... Chantal...
Whoever you are.
201
00:08:43,483 --> 00:08:45,323
Okay, let's
try 'er again.
202
00:08:46,857 --> 00:08:48,357
Action!
Whoa!
203
00:08:51,031 --> 00:08:53,411
Really?
Hey, I'm still
on the clock!
204
00:08:54,364 --> 00:08:56,874
Jessie, I've
been thinking.
205
00:08:58,288 --> 00:09:01,288
What this movie needs
is some real action,
206
00:09:01,291 --> 00:09:03,661
and a new leading man.
(CHUCKLES)
207
00:09:05,626 --> 00:09:07,376
Thank you so much
for rescuing me
208
00:09:07,377 --> 00:09:09,467
from Dr. Dastardly's
volcano lair.
209
00:09:09,469 --> 00:09:11,379
You saved me
just in time.
210
00:09:11,672 --> 00:09:12,762
I know,
211
00:09:13,263 --> 00:09:15,023
your toes are
still smoking.
212
00:09:17,808 --> 00:09:19,438
And the rest
of you, too.
213
00:09:20,560 --> 00:09:23,440
Why, thank you.
But I don't even
know your name.
214
00:09:23,734 --> 00:09:24,994
Ross.
215
00:09:25,395 --> 00:09:26,395
Luke Ross.
216
00:09:27,027 --> 00:09:28,317
And you are?
217
00:09:28,318 --> 00:09:30,358
Dimples.
Dimples Galore.
218
00:09:31,361 --> 00:09:32,951
(TIRES SCREECHING)
219
00:09:32,953 --> 00:09:34,243
How are we going to
get away from those
220
00:09:34,244 --> 00:09:35,914
evil spies who want to
blow up the world,
221
00:09:35,906 --> 00:09:37,406
even though it means
their death as well?
222
00:09:37,407 --> 00:09:39,247
Which I find to be
kinda counter-intuitive.
223
00:09:40,370 --> 00:09:42,330
I don't know what
that word means,
224
00:09:42,332 --> 00:09:44,972
but you're so cute
I might look it up later.
225
00:09:47,257 --> 00:09:50,297
Now, before I force
those evil spies
off that cliff
226
00:09:50,300 --> 00:09:53,590
with an assortment
of wicked cool gadgets,
227
00:09:53,593 --> 00:09:56,313
how about a
high-speed kiss?
228
00:09:58,769 --> 00:10:00,849
Wow, that is
action-packed.
229
00:10:01,181 --> 00:10:03,521
But I would just make
one small change.
230
00:10:05,355 --> 00:10:06,605
Farewell,
Mr. Ross.
231
00:10:13,113 --> 00:10:14,793
Maybe I should have
thought this through.
232
00:10:14,785 --> 00:10:16,195
(TIRES SCREECHING)
233
00:10:16,196 --> 00:10:17,286
(SCREAMING)
234
00:10:20,330 --> 00:10:21,910
There is no way
I'm doing a movie
235
00:10:21,912 --> 00:10:24,882
where women wear
skimpy clothes
and are objectified.
236
00:10:24,875 --> 00:10:26,415
Then you're going to
hate the sequel.
237
00:10:28,048 --> 00:10:29,628
Okay, let's get moving!
238
00:10:29,629 --> 00:10:32,799
But Tony has over
20 lines in this scene.
239
00:10:32,803 --> 00:10:34,303
What are we
going do?
240
00:10:34,304 --> 00:10:35,564
I'll shoot around him.
241
00:10:35,555 --> 00:10:37,345
What does that mean?
I'll fix it in post.
242
00:10:37,347 --> 00:10:40,057
Come again?
Oh, just go point the camera
and capture the magic!
243
00:10:43,814 --> 00:10:45,074
Chantal,
244
00:10:45,065 --> 00:10:46,685
you are amazing.
245
00:10:47,187 --> 00:10:50,437
Your eyes remind me
of a full baboon.
246
00:10:51,031 --> 00:10:52,071
Cut!
247
00:10:53,363 --> 00:10:54,993
Again! Tony,
248
00:10:55,275 --> 00:10:58,695
for the tenth time,
the line is,
"A full moon."
249
00:10:58,699 --> 00:11:02,079
It's not romantic to say
that my eyes remind you
of a monkey's butt.
250
00:11:02,873 --> 00:11:04,203
Sorry, but
251
00:11:04,204 --> 00:11:06,214
re-living our
relationship
is making me feel
252
00:11:06,206 --> 00:11:07,996
kind of
uncomfortable.
253
00:11:07,998 --> 00:11:11,248
Or it could just be
from eating 10 helpings
of pasta fazool.
254
00:11:12,212 --> 00:11:14,092
Back in a minute!
Or an hour.
255
00:11:14,094 --> 00:11:15,644
That fazool
binds you right up.
256
00:11:17,758 --> 00:11:20,928
Jessie, when
you said I was "in
charge of the boom,"
257
00:11:20,931 --> 00:11:23,141
I thought I would
get to blow stuff up.
258
00:11:23,513 --> 00:11:26,733
At least you do not have
to keep peering through
this camera for hours.
259
00:11:26,727 --> 00:11:29,227
My right eye
refuses to open.
260
00:11:30,610 --> 00:11:34,360
And I am tired of
making food with
"Fazool" in the name.
261
00:11:34,364 --> 00:11:36,374
Great, any more
complaints?
262
00:11:36,366 --> 00:11:38,406
Yes. Your movie
is boring.
263
00:11:39,579 --> 00:11:42,409
I meant any complaints
that don't make me sad?
264
00:11:42,412 --> 00:11:45,332
No. But I have an idea
how to spice this up.
265
00:11:47,417 --> 00:11:48,497
Wait!
266
00:11:48,498 --> 00:11:50,208
No! Let me go.
267
00:11:52,462 --> 00:11:55,682
This is the end of
the line for you,
schoolmarm!
268
00:11:55,675 --> 00:11:58,295
(EAGLE SCREAMING)
Wow, you really don't want
to do your homework.
269
00:11:59,299 --> 00:12:02,679
Who needs to know
geography in
the Wild East?
270
00:12:02,682 --> 00:12:04,812
West! Wild West!
271
00:12:05,225 --> 00:12:08,225
You are a horrible
student! And evil!
272
00:12:09,229 --> 00:12:11,399
I'm a 10-year-old girl
with a mustache.
273
00:12:11,401 --> 00:12:13,481
It tends to make you
a little cranky!
274
00:12:14,404 --> 00:12:16,284
Well, your plan will
never work!
275
00:12:16,276 --> 00:12:18,486
My true love,
the sheriff,
will save me!
276
00:12:18,488 --> 00:12:20,408
You mean
that cowpoke?
277
00:12:20,410 --> 00:12:21,530
(EAGLE SCREAMING)
278
00:12:21,912 --> 00:12:23,072
Howdy!
279
00:12:25,245 --> 00:12:27,075
Okay, maybe your
plan will work.
280
00:12:29,209 --> 00:12:31,539
Zuri, I have to
shoot a love story.
281
00:12:31,541 --> 00:12:34,331
There is nothing
romantic about being
crushed by a train.
282
00:12:34,334 --> 00:12:36,264
Jessie, it's a metaphor.
283
00:12:36,256 --> 00:12:37,836
You're so
one-dimensional.
284
00:12:39,429 --> 00:12:42,719
Jessie, I have some
choices for your clothes
for the next scene!
285
00:12:42,722 --> 00:12:45,732
I went in your closet,
but then I just got
dizzy and depressed,
286
00:12:45,725 --> 00:12:46,885
so...
287
00:12:47,267 --> 00:12:49,187
So I brought you
some of Mom's stuff.
288
00:12:49,189 --> 00:12:50,309
Oh, thanks, Emma,
289
00:12:50,310 --> 00:12:52,060
but I want to wear
the exact outfit
I had on
290
00:12:52,062 --> 00:12:53,942
when I went on my
first date with Tony.
291
00:12:53,944 --> 00:12:56,784
Okay, but no wonder
your relationship
didn't work out.
292
00:13:01,862 --> 00:13:03,952
Wait, you still
need make-up!
293
00:13:03,954 --> 00:13:06,004
I have to make you look
two years younger!
294
00:13:05,996 --> 00:13:07,576
FYI, you have way more
worry-lines now
295
00:13:07,577 --> 00:13:09,207
than when you
started working here.
296
00:13:09,539 --> 00:13:10,869
I can't imagine why!
297
00:13:11,832 --> 00:13:13,832
Look, If I'm going to
get this film ready
for the contest,
298
00:13:13,834 --> 00:13:16,344
I have to get this scene
where Tony and I
kiss in the teacup!
299
00:13:16,336 --> 00:13:17,626
Now, go get him.
300
00:13:18,258 --> 00:13:19,588
Zuri, where's
my teacup?
301
00:13:19,589 --> 00:13:21,009
Right here!
302
00:13:22,222 --> 00:13:23,382
Ta-da!
303
00:13:24,634 --> 00:13:26,434
It's smaller
than I expected.
304
00:13:26,426 --> 00:13:27,806
And less teacup-y.
305
00:13:28,058 --> 00:13:29,308
And more
cardboard-y.
306
00:13:30,350 --> 00:13:31,810
You get what
you pay for.
307
00:13:32,692 --> 00:13:34,312
How is the audience
supposed to believe that
308
00:13:34,314 --> 00:13:36,284
Toby and Chantal
are trapped in there?
309
00:13:36,276 --> 00:13:39,236
Uh, kneel down.
Problem solved.
310
00:13:39,239 --> 00:13:41,239
I want a producer
credit for that.
311
00:13:42,152 --> 00:13:43,282
Uh, Jessie,
312
00:13:43,283 --> 00:13:45,213
we have a
small issue.
313
00:13:45,205 --> 00:13:46,365
How small?
314
00:13:50,210 --> 00:13:51,710
I'd say about
three sizes.
315
00:13:51,711 --> 00:13:55,131
Who would have
suspected a $15 tux
was dry clean only.
316
00:13:55,125 --> 00:13:56,415
Everyone!
317
00:13:56,416 --> 00:13:58,876
On the bright side,
at least your outfit
matches the teacup.
318
00:13:59,299 --> 00:14:01,629
Now get in, we need
to start the scene.
319
00:14:01,922 --> 00:14:03,722
Ravi, is the water
effect ready?
320
00:14:03,723 --> 00:14:05,393
Why does Ravi
get to do it?
321
00:14:05,385 --> 00:14:07,965
Dousing people
with water is
my specialty!
322
00:14:07,968 --> 00:14:10,888
And yet, the concept
of bathing eludes you.
323
00:14:11,271 --> 00:14:13,601
Guys, knock it off.
We need to get going!
324
00:14:14,684 --> 00:14:17,404
Ready, and action!
325
00:14:17,737 --> 00:14:21,477
I cannot believe
we're trapped in this
huge teacup.
326
00:14:22,242 --> 00:14:23,482
(WHISPERING)
Down! Down!
327
00:14:25,615 --> 00:14:28,445
Well, at least
we're finally
alone together, Toby.
328
00:14:28,448 --> 00:14:31,288
And nothing can ruin
this perfect moment.
329
00:14:31,291 --> 00:14:32,201
(CLICKS)
330
00:14:33,583 --> 00:14:37,383
I said, nothing can ruin
this perfect moment.
331
00:14:37,377 --> 00:14:38,257
(CLICKING)
332
00:14:38,258 --> 00:14:40,378
Ravi! Ruin this
perfect moment!
333
00:14:41,341 --> 00:14:43,211
It should
be working...
334
00:14:43,593 --> 00:14:45,973
Never mind.
Let's just skip to
the kissing scene,
335
00:14:45,966 --> 00:14:47,426
we're running
out of time!
336
00:14:47,427 --> 00:14:49,267
Oh, Toby...
Um, Jessie...
337
00:14:49,269 --> 00:14:51,849
It's Chantal!
No, I'm talking
to you, Jessie.
338
00:14:52,312 --> 00:14:53,892
I just don't feel
comfortable kissing you,
339
00:14:53,893 --> 00:14:55,233
now that we're
broken up.
340
00:14:55,225 --> 00:14:56,395
It's called
"Acting."
341
00:14:56,396 --> 00:14:59,356
I know it's awkward,
but this movie is really
important to me!
342
00:14:59,359 --> 00:15:01,319
I understand,
but I just can't!
343
00:15:01,321 --> 00:15:02,571
Just think back
344
00:15:02,572 --> 00:15:06,622
to how in love we were
at this incredibly sweet,
romantic moment.
345
00:15:06,616 --> 00:15:08,406
Now kiss me,
you greasy
haired mook!
346
00:15:08,949 --> 00:15:10,119
(CLOTH RIPPING)
347
00:15:12,162 --> 00:15:15,092
I'm sorry, Jessie.
You'll just have to finish
your movie without me.
348
00:15:15,085 --> 00:15:16,455
It's just too weird!
349
00:15:16,876 --> 00:15:18,746
And now that I've
split my pants,
350
00:15:19,379 --> 00:15:20,589
it's a little
too drafty.
351
00:15:21,341 --> 00:15:23,461
Wait, Tony,
come back!
352
00:15:23,463 --> 00:15:25,353
This is the most
important scene
in the movie!
353
00:15:25,345 --> 00:15:26,545
Who am I going
to kiss?
354
00:15:26,546 --> 00:15:27,846
Me, me!
I'll do it!
355
00:15:27,847 --> 00:15:29,347
(GLASS SHATTERING)
356
00:15:29,349 --> 00:15:33,679
Oh, now I see why
they call it a "Boom."
(CHUCKLING)
357
00:15:33,683 --> 00:15:35,613
Cut. Just cut.
358
00:15:35,976 --> 00:15:37,266
Can't anything
go right?
359
00:15:41,441 --> 00:15:43,401
Well, the water effect
is working.
360
00:15:48,408 --> 00:15:50,448
Jessie, we know
you're upset,
361
00:15:50,450 --> 00:15:51,830
but you can't just
sit around
362
00:15:51,831 --> 00:15:54,241
and drown your
sorrows in fro-yo.
363
00:15:54,534 --> 00:15:57,344
Why not? It's the only thing
I've done today without
messing it up.
364
00:15:58,168 --> 00:16:00,378
Jessie, that's not true.
365
00:16:00,380 --> 00:16:01,710
Thank you, Zuri.
366
00:16:01,711 --> 00:16:03,711
I was talking
about the fro-yo.
367
00:16:03,713 --> 00:16:05,303
You've got it all
over you.
368
00:16:06,506 --> 00:16:08,676
Oh, man, this was
a designer dress.
369
00:16:08,678 --> 00:16:10,388
This is getting
sadder and sadder.
370
00:16:11,391 --> 00:16:13,641
Okay, guys, I don't
know if you're noticed,
371
00:16:13,643 --> 00:16:17,363
but my acting career
hasn't exactly gone
the way I thought it would.
372
00:16:17,357 --> 00:16:18,307
No.
You're kidding.
373
00:16:18,308 --> 00:16:21,308
I've not noticed.
Your last job
was as a hot dog.
374
00:16:22,482 --> 00:16:23,732
Love you.
375
00:16:25,365 --> 00:16:26,525
Hey, look,
376
00:16:27,367 --> 00:16:29,317
I know I've been really
stressed out lately,
377
00:16:29,319 --> 00:16:32,409
and I'm sorry if
I've been a little
too harsh on you.
378
00:16:32,912 --> 00:16:34,322
All I ever wanted
was to do
379
00:16:34,324 --> 00:16:35,674
something creative
with my life,
380
00:16:35,665 --> 00:16:37,915
and I just...
381
00:16:37,917 --> 00:16:40,327
I'm afraid that
this movie is
my last chance.
382
00:16:40,790 --> 00:16:43,620
Jessie, you're
an amazingly
talented person.
383
00:16:44,084 --> 00:16:47,594
Yeah, we know
you'll make it if you
just keep trying.
384
00:16:47,587 --> 00:16:51,547
You must continue
the pursuit of your
cinematic aspirations.
385
00:16:51,551 --> 00:16:53,261
He took the words
right out of my mouth.
386
00:16:53,263 --> 00:16:55,143
And made them
big and confusing.
387
00:16:56,226 --> 00:16:57,476
Thank you, guys.
388
00:16:57,477 --> 00:16:58,897
I really appreciate it.
389
00:16:58,898 --> 00:17:01,478
But there's only an
hour until the deadline.
390
00:17:01,481 --> 00:17:04,641
Even if I could manage
to piece together a film
from what we shot,
391
00:17:04,644 --> 00:17:06,074
I still don't
have an ending.
392
00:17:06,066 --> 00:17:09,316
I know! I have got
the perfect way
to end your movie!
393
00:17:11,411 --> 00:17:12,451
Prince Toby,
394
00:17:12,452 --> 00:17:15,372
I don't care if that
evil mystic did turn
you into a lizard.
395
00:17:15,365 --> 00:17:18,075
I will always
love you.
(GROWLING)
396
00:17:18,078 --> 00:17:20,118
Sweetie, you got
a little rat blood.
397
00:17:22,832 --> 00:17:26,432
Princess, I am so
touched by your love,
398
00:17:26,426 --> 00:17:29,086
I shall undo the spell
I cast upon him.
(GASPS)
399
00:17:29,089 --> 00:17:31,089
But first,
we dance!
400
00:17:31,091 --> 00:17:32,341
Wait, why?
401
00:17:32,342 --> 00:17:35,012
Because it is the end
of a Bollywood movie.
It is what we do!
402
00:17:35,725 --> 00:17:37,055
When in Ranchipur.
403
00:17:37,347 --> 00:17:39,347
(INDIAN DANCE MUSIC PLAYING)
404
00:18:11,381 --> 00:18:13,551
Okay, hold it,
Dances with Lizards.
405
00:18:13,923 --> 00:18:16,183
Flying to India is way
out of my budget.
406
00:18:16,176 --> 00:18:17,766
Along with
waterproof mascara.
407
00:18:19,058 --> 00:18:21,518
There's gotta
be something
you can do.
408
00:18:21,521 --> 00:18:24,981
Thanks, guys, but
this whole thing
was a disaster.
409
00:18:24,984 --> 00:18:26,734
And not only did I
waste all of your time,
410
00:18:26,726 --> 00:18:29,146
but I may have ruined
my friendship with Tony.
411
00:18:29,149 --> 00:18:32,279
Not to mention
creating a big pile
of cinematic swill.
412
00:18:33,323 --> 00:18:34,863
Oh, sorry.
413
00:18:34,864 --> 00:18:37,044
Were we not compiling
a complete list?
414
00:18:39,239 --> 00:18:41,369
Are you licking
your dress?
415
00:18:42,332 --> 00:18:43,702
Don't judge me!
416
00:18:47,337 --> 00:18:49,507
(LAUGHING)
417
00:18:50,750 --> 00:18:53,340
What's so funny?
Everything you shot.
418
00:18:53,343 --> 00:18:54,753
Check it out!
(LAUGHING)
419
00:18:59,349 --> 00:19:01,679
I'm so happy my misery
brings you joy.
420
00:19:01,681 --> 00:19:04,181
Your misery is even
better in slo-mo!
421
00:19:05,395 --> 00:19:07,645
(BERTRAM LAUGHING)
422
00:19:09,269 --> 00:19:12,609
Wow. You can actually
see the exact moment
my soul gets crushed.
423
00:19:12,612 --> 00:19:13,772
(CHUCKLES)
424
00:19:14,194 --> 00:19:16,284
Wait a minute, that
shouldn't be on film.
425
00:19:16,276 --> 00:19:18,196
That's what I
thought when I
read your script.
426
00:19:19,279 --> 00:19:22,239
No, I mean, I told
Ravi to cut before
that happened.
427
00:19:22,242 --> 00:19:25,292
Well, judging by
the fact that there is
eight hours of footage,
428
00:19:25,285 --> 00:19:27,205
I don't think Ravi ever
stopped the camera.
429
00:19:27,837 --> 00:19:29,287
It's funny
sped up, too.
430
00:19:35,255 --> 00:19:37,345
You know, all
the stuff that
wasn't in your script
431
00:19:37,347 --> 00:19:39,467
is actually
kind of entertaining.
432
00:19:39,469 --> 00:19:40,799
Wait a second.
433
00:19:41,060 --> 00:19:43,010
Bertram, that gives
me a great idea!
434
00:19:43,012 --> 00:19:45,402
You're going to quit
showbiz and move
back to Texas?
435
00:19:45,395 --> 00:19:47,105
I may have already
packed your bags.
436
00:19:47,767 --> 00:19:49,227
No, I meant
437
00:19:49,229 --> 00:19:51,019
I know how I'm going
to finish my movie!
Mmm.
438
00:19:56,025 --> 00:19:58,115
That's for
the comments
on my script.
439
00:20:03,453 --> 00:20:04,873
That was
just for fun.
440
00:20:09,088 --> 00:20:10,628
So, how's it going?
441
00:20:11,090 --> 00:20:14,920
I'm exhausted,
but I'm done!
442
00:20:15,214 --> 00:20:18,054
I just have to
hit "Send" within
five seconds.
443
00:20:18,047 --> 00:20:21,217
Five, four, three...
444
00:20:21,931 --> 00:20:23,681
And, sent.
445
00:20:24,894 --> 00:20:26,614
I want a producer
credit for that.
446
00:20:29,939 --> 00:20:32,349
JESSIE: (ON TV)
Sometimes, the path
to love can be paved
447
00:20:32,352 --> 00:20:33,982
with a lot of bumps
and bruises.
448
00:20:36,986 --> 00:20:40,406
And maybe things
don't turn out exactly
how you planned.
449
00:20:44,324 --> 00:20:47,874
But sometimes you find
love in places that
you least expect it.
450
00:20:52,081 --> 00:20:55,131
So even though
I set out to shoot
a movie about romance...
451
00:20:55,795 --> 00:20:58,175
(CHEERING AND APPLAUDING)
452
00:20:58,177 --> 00:20:59,797
Finding this family
is the greatest
453
00:20:59,799 --> 00:21:01,879
love story
I could ever tell.
(LAUGHING)
454
00:21:01,881 --> 00:21:03,341
(ALL APPLAUDING)
455
00:21:06,225 --> 00:21:08,225
We love you
too, Jessie.
(CHUCKLES)
456
00:21:08,888 --> 00:21:11,188
I do not know what
was more beautiful,
457
00:21:11,190 --> 00:21:14,390
your poetic narration,
or the way I framed
that final shot.
458
00:21:15,815 --> 00:21:19,525
I can't believe you
finished that whole thing
in just 24 hours!
459
00:21:19,529 --> 00:21:22,159
Yeah, we never thought
you could pull it off.
460
00:21:22,161 --> 00:21:24,361
But you guys seemed
so supportive!
461
00:21:24,364 --> 00:21:26,254
You know how when
I have a math test,
462
00:21:26,245 --> 00:21:28,825
and you say I can
ace it, but we both
know you're lying?
463
00:21:28,828 --> 00:21:30,908
Yeah.
It was like that.
464
00:21:32,251 --> 00:21:33,961
(SOBBING)
465
00:21:34,674 --> 00:21:36,804
Wow, it even
made Bertram cry.
466
00:21:37,126 --> 00:21:38,546
It's not the movie.
467
00:21:38,548 --> 00:21:42,338
I just wasted 20 bucks
on an "At Least
You Tried" card.
468
00:21:46,225 --> 00:21:48,475
Thanks, Bertram.
Don't worry, we won't
let it go to waste.
469
00:21:48,478 --> 00:21:50,308
Ravi's has his
P.E. final coming up.
470
00:21:57,316 --> 00:21:59,646
Oh, hey, Tony.
Hey.
471
00:22:00,400 --> 00:22:02,360
Here.
Oh, thanks.
472
00:22:07,076 --> 00:22:08,366
Good catching up.
473
00:22:09,999 --> 00:22:11,079
Jessie,
474
00:22:12,372 --> 00:22:14,542
I'm really sorry
about quitting
your movie,
475
00:22:14,544 --> 00:22:16,224
and for letting
you down.
476
00:22:16,215 --> 00:22:19,375
It was just awkward
playing romantic scenes
with my ex, you know?
477
00:22:19,379 --> 00:22:21,299
It's okay. It was
weird for me, too.
478
00:22:21,300 --> 00:22:22,420
If it makes you
feel better,
479
00:22:22,422 --> 00:22:24,672
I was pretending you
were James Franco
the whole time.
480
00:22:25,385 --> 00:22:27,765
You mean during
the filming, or while
we were dating?
481
00:22:29,018 --> 00:22:31,138
Let's not re-hash
the past.
482
00:22:32,231 --> 00:22:35,271
Oh, Tony, this is from
The Quick Flicks Festival!
483
00:22:37,106 --> 00:22:38,566
My film got
accepted!
484
00:22:38,568 --> 00:22:40,528
Congratulations!
(LAUGHING)
485
00:22:41,110 --> 00:22:42,360
Oh, that's...
486
00:22:43,903 --> 00:22:45,663
So, when do we
start filming
the sequel?
487
00:22:45,655 --> 00:22:48,325
Well, I thought it was
awkward for you
playing my boyfriend.
488
00:22:48,327 --> 00:22:50,367
Awkward-schmawkward,
this thing's a hit!
489
00:22:50,990 --> 00:22:52,540
Okay, you can be in it
if you can tell me
490
00:22:52,542 --> 00:22:54,332
just one of
your lines.
491
00:22:56,205 --> 00:22:57,585
Thought so.
(ELEVATOR PINGS)
492
00:22:58,127 --> 00:22:59,207
Aw, man!
493
00:23:00,049 --> 00:23:01,209
That doesn't count.
36869
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