Would you like to inspect the original subtitles? These are the user uploaded subtitles that are being translated:
1
00:00:08,179 --> 00:00:09,679
(SNARLING)
2
00:00:12,643 --> 00:00:14,193
Okay, Ravi, your turn!
3
00:00:14,585 --> 00:00:16,515
Here I go. Here I go!
4
00:00:17,118 --> 00:00:19,348
Anyone else want to go?
5
00:00:19,550 --> 00:00:21,620
Come on, Ravi, it's fun.
Trust me.
6
00:00:21,622 --> 00:00:23,692
What are you afraid of?
7
00:00:23,694 --> 00:00:27,204
Rope, jumping,
and any scenario where
Luke tells me to trust him.
8
00:00:29,029 --> 00:00:30,559
(SHRIEKS)
9
00:00:30,561 --> 00:00:32,401
(RAVI GROANS)
10
00:00:32,703 --> 00:00:34,273
Did I win?
11
00:00:35,736 --> 00:00:39,536
Excuse me, I've been
watching you guys
for a while, and...
12
00:00:39,540 --> 00:00:42,240
Stranger danger!
Stranger danger!
13
00:00:43,444 --> 00:00:44,724
Initiate scenario two!
14
00:00:44,715 --> 00:00:46,745
Stop, drop, and roll!
15
00:00:48,048 --> 00:00:50,678
That... That's scenario five,
in case of a fire!
16
00:00:51,322 --> 00:00:52,522
Oh, my bad.
17
00:00:52,723 --> 00:00:55,733
Guys, relax!
I'm Corinne Baxter,
18
00:00:55,726 --> 00:00:57,686
award-winning TV producer.
19
00:00:57,688 --> 00:00:59,528
Ooh, you should meet
our butler.
20
00:00:59,530 --> 00:01:02,130
He's an award-winning
TV watcher.
Ooh.
21
00:01:02,493 --> 00:01:05,573
I'm producing
a new reality show about
families with nannies...
22
00:01:05,566 --> 00:01:08,166
Oh, I... I'm a nanny,
and this is my family!
23
00:01:08,169 --> 00:01:09,539
Smile everyone!
24
00:01:09,540 --> 00:01:11,300
JESSIE: Aren't they adorable?
25
00:01:11,602 --> 00:01:14,582
So, I assume you're
interested in being on...
Yes! (GASPS)
26
00:01:14,575 --> 00:01:17,345
I cannot believe
I'm going to have
my own TV series!
27
00:01:17,348 --> 00:01:19,778
I've got to go call
everyone I know!
28
00:01:19,780 --> 00:01:21,180
Hey, Darla!
29
00:01:23,354 --> 00:01:25,664
Did your nanny just leave
without you guys?
30
00:01:27,658 --> 00:01:30,618
You did not say
it was a show
about good nannies.
31
00:01:32,563 --> 00:01:35,633
♪ Oh, oh, oh, oh
Oh, oh, oh, oh
32
00:01:35,626 --> 00:01:39,396
♪ Hey Jessie, hey Jessie
33
00:01:39,400 --> 00:01:42,870
♪ It feels like a party
every day
34
00:01:42,873 --> 00:01:46,583
♪ Hey Jessie, hey Jessie
35
00:01:46,577 --> 00:01:50,107
♪ But they keep on pulling
me every which way
36
00:01:50,110 --> 00:01:53,440
♪ Hey Jessie, hey Jessie
37
00:01:53,444 --> 00:01:56,894
♪ My whole world is changing
Turning around
38
00:01:56,887 --> 00:02:00,517
♪ They got me going crazy
Yeah, they're shaking
the ground
39
00:02:00,521 --> 00:02:04,701
♪ But they took a chance
on the new girl in town
40
00:02:04,695 --> 00:02:07,895
♪ And I don't want to let them
down, down, down
41
00:02:07,898 --> 00:02:11,658
♪ Hey Jessie
42
00:02:11,662 --> 00:02:15,242
♪ Hey Jessie
43
00:02:15,236 --> 00:02:18,666
♪ It feels like a party
every day
44
00:02:18,669 --> 00:02:22,669
♪ Hey, hey, hey,
hey, hey, Jessie ♪
45
00:02:26,647 --> 00:02:29,377
Guys! I think the first
episode of the reality show
46
00:02:29,380 --> 00:02:32,280
should be the party
you're throwing me for my
two year nanniversary!
47
00:02:32,283 --> 00:02:33,553
What's that?
48
00:02:33,554 --> 00:02:36,394
The anniversary
of my becoming your nanny.
49
00:02:36,387 --> 00:02:38,787
Since when is that a thing?
We didn't celebrate it
last year.
50
00:02:39,190 --> 00:02:42,660
Exactly. And here is your
chance to erase that pain.
51
00:02:44,465 --> 00:02:47,535
I think the first show
should star me
and my dance moves.
52
00:02:47,538 --> 00:02:49,398
I'll be more popular
with the ladies
53
00:02:49,400 --> 00:02:51,540
than Ryan Gosling
holding a puppy.
54
00:02:51,542 --> 00:02:53,442
ALL: Aw.
55
00:02:53,674 --> 00:02:54,684
See?
56
00:02:55,175 --> 00:02:56,445
Sorry, what?
57
00:02:56,447 --> 00:02:59,347
I was just picturing
Ryan Gosling holding a puppy.
58
00:02:59,610 --> 00:03:01,250
It is adorable.
59
00:03:02,483 --> 00:03:04,593
And I'm going to come up
with a catchphrase,
60
00:03:04,585 --> 00:03:07,615
then print it on everything
from mugs to diapers.
61
00:03:07,618 --> 00:03:10,488
I'll get them drinking
and stinking!
62
00:03:11,562 --> 00:03:16,372
As tasteful as a soiled diaper
with "mmm-hmm" emblazoned
upon it would be,
63
00:03:17,498 --> 00:03:19,828
doing this show
would be a huge mistake.
64
00:03:20,271 --> 00:03:23,331
I give you two words.
Heisenberg Principle.
65
00:03:23,604 --> 00:03:26,544
Can you give us two words
we can understand?
66
00:03:26,537 --> 00:03:28,907
I am sure Jessie comprehends
what I am saying.
67
00:03:29,910 --> 00:03:31,440
Of course I do.
68
00:03:31,442 --> 00:03:34,592
But, why don't you
break it down?
Just for the kids.
69
00:03:34,845 --> 00:03:36,845
The Heisenberg Principle
states that
70
00:03:36,847 --> 00:03:38,547
once the camera is introduced,
71
00:03:38,549 --> 00:03:40,919
people cannot help,
but change their behavior.
72
00:03:40,921 --> 00:03:44,531
Witness every dope who has
ever been on a reality show.
73
00:03:44,525 --> 00:03:46,555
Who cares?
Those dopes are famous!
74
00:03:46,557 --> 00:03:48,597
And momma wants
a big slice of that.
75
00:03:52,603 --> 00:03:55,613
Bertram, it's 4:00.
You're going to sleep already?
76
00:03:55,606 --> 00:03:57,706
No, I just woke up.
77
00:03:58,439 --> 00:04:01,409
You know, Mom and Dad
will be watching
this reality show.
78
00:04:01,412 --> 00:04:02,842
Don't you want them to see
how hard you work?
79
00:04:04,475 --> 00:04:05,745
(ALL LAUGHING)
80
00:04:09,249 --> 00:04:11,679
Ah, seriously, though,
I better clean this place up.
81
00:04:11,682 --> 00:04:14,432
I'm gonna go look for the
vroom-vroomy thing.
82
00:04:19,460 --> 00:04:22,530
Ugh, this bug bite
kept me up all night.
83
00:04:24,565 --> 00:04:25,995
What a pity.
84
00:04:25,996 --> 00:04:29,366
Are you ready
for a lovely breakfast,
and your close-up?
85
00:04:30,341 --> 00:04:31,701
Good morning!
(SCREAMS)
86
00:04:31,702 --> 00:04:34,682
(STAMMERING) I'm in the middle
of a beauty treatment!
87
00:04:34,675 --> 00:04:36,345
It ain't working.
88
00:04:37,978 --> 00:04:40,048
(FORCING LAUGHTER)
89
00:04:40,611 --> 00:04:42,811
You're two hours early.
90
00:04:43,784 --> 00:04:45,724
CORINNE: Are we?
91
00:04:45,716 --> 00:04:47,316
Oopsie.
92
00:04:47,688 --> 00:04:50,418
Don't you worry your messy
little head about us.
93
00:04:50,421 --> 00:04:53,561
We're just here to capture
who you really are.
94
00:04:53,564 --> 00:04:55,004
Oh, well!
95
00:04:54,995 --> 00:04:57,625
Who I really am
is an actress.
96
00:04:59,299 --> 00:05:01,699
(DRAMATICALLY)
No, no, no!
97
00:05:01,702 --> 00:05:03,502
This yogurt has...
98
00:05:03,504 --> 00:05:04,884
Expired!
99
00:05:06,407 --> 00:05:08,707
Alas, poor yogurt!
100
00:05:08,709 --> 00:05:10,439
I knew it well.
101
00:05:10,681 --> 00:05:11,681
(DRAMATIC SOBBING)
102
00:05:13,684 --> 00:05:15,694
I don't know what's
more ridiculous.
103
00:05:15,686 --> 00:05:19,446
Your acting, or the fact
that you have a salad fork
stuck in your hair.
104
00:05:23,624 --> 00:05:26,504
And now, for the most
gratifying part of my day.
105
00:05:26,497 --> 00:05:29,357
When my beloved charges
come home from school.
106
00:05:29,360 --> 00:05:32,360
Which reminds me
of when I played Maria
in The Sound of Music.
107
00:05:32,363 --> 00:05:33,663
CORINNE: Please,
don't start singing...
108
00:05:34,405 --> 00:05:35,735
...again.
109
00:05:36,637 --> 00:05:39,737
The Fort Tavey Gazette
said I was, and I quote,
110
00:05:39,740 --> 00:05:41,540
"Entirely adequate!"
111
00:05:44,344 --> 00:05:47,454
Uh, and now we are
getting off the elevator
112
00:05:47,448 --> 00:05:50,078
after a long, hard day
of learning.
113
00:05:50,080 --> 00:05:52,380
And now we are walking...
114
00:05:52,383 --> 00:05:54,463
Walking, walking...
115
00:05:54,455 --> 00:05:57,655
And you're driving us
crazy, crazy, crazy!
116
00:06:00,030 --> 00:06:02,490
You don't have to narrate
everything we do!
117
00:06:02,493 --> 00:06:03,933
Especially, when I popped
that pimple!
118
00:06:03,934 --> 00:06:07,744
Did you really have to
make that "pssh" noise?
(SNORTS LAUGHTER)
119
00:06:08,639 --> 00:06:12,639
That epidermal explosion
needed no audio enhancement
from me.
120
00:06:16,006 --> 00:06:19,746
This is my playhouse,
and you're just living in it!
121
00:06:20,751 --> 00:06:21,981
Excuse me?
122
00:06:21,982 --> 00:06:23,712
It's my catchphrase.
123
00:06:23,714 --> 00:06:25,724
Make sure to get it
in the first episode,
124
00:06:25,716 --> 00:06:28,716
and I'll cut you in
for 10% of the merch.
125
00:06:28,719 --> 00:06:30,119
Mmm, money!
126
00:06:32,493 --> 00:06:34,733
Found it! (CHUCKLES)
127
00:06:34,725 --> 00:06:38,695
Did you know
there's a whole closet
full of cleaning supplies?
128
00:06:39,530 --> 00:06:40,970
People, please!
129
00:06:40,971 --> 00:06:42,701
I need you to act naturally.
130
00:06:42,703 --> 00:06:43,903
Of course!
131
00:06:43,904 --> 00:06:45,614
Check this out!
132
00:06:45,606 --> 00:06:47,006
(GRUNTING)
133
00:06:49,910 --> 00:06:50,910
(GROANS)
134
00:06:51,612 --> 00:06:54,452
Now I know why they
call it "hard wood."
135
00:06:55,516 --> 00:06:57,546
Careful!
You're in my shot.
136
00:07:00,020 --> 00:07:02,590
Now, I will make everyone
yummy snacks.
137
00:07:02,593 --> 00:07:04,463
Much as my idol, Meryl Streep,
138
00:07:04,455 --> 00:07:06,455
to whom I have been
compared many times,
139
00:07:06,927 --> 00:07:09,497
did when she played
Julia Child.
140
00:07:09,500 --> 00:07:11,600
Who compared you
to Meryl Streep?
141
00:07:11,602 --> 00:07:13,502
Everyone!
142
00:07:14,735 --> 00:07:16,665
Come, lovable scamps.
143
00:07:20,110 --> 00:07:21,670
This is a disaster!
144
00:07:21,672 --> 00:07:24,652
If I can't spice this up,
this show will be canceled
before it even airs.
145
00:07:24,645 --> 00:07:28,045
And I cannot go back
to producing monkey makeovers.
146
00:07:28,218 --> 00:07:32,648
I don't care how much
eyeliner you put on them,
they're just not pretty!
147
00:07:32,923 --> 00:07:35,933
Uh, hey, Corinne,
you're missing some
great stuff in here.
148
00:07:35,926 --> 00:07:38,786
I'm making lunch,
while acting out Hamlet,
149
00:07:38,789 --> 00:07:40,689
with an actual ham!
150
00:07:42,833 --> 00:07:45,573
I told you, just do
the things you normally do.
151
00:07:45,566 --> 00:07:46,836
Oh. This is.
152
00:07:46,837 --> 00:07:49,637
Last week I did
Macbeth- aroni and cheese.
153
00:07:57,047 --> 00:08:00,507
I'm Zuri, and I have
sass to spare!
154
00:08:01,782 --> 00:08:03,652
Please, no more catchphrases!
155
00:08:05,085 --> 00:08:08,815
So, I bet your sister Emma
drives you crazy!
156
00:08:09,259 --> 00:08:11,059
Huh?
No.
157
00:08:11,061 --> 00:08:12,961
But there's this girl
at school,
158
00:08:12,963 --> 00:08:16,673
she's a combination
of nasty and awful.
159
00:08:16,667 --> 00:08:18,527
She's nasty-ful.
160
00:08:19,229 --> 00:08:21,499
Ooh, a new catchphrase!
161
00:08:21,501 --> 00:08:23,901
I'm gonna go print that
on a bunch of diapers.
162
00:08:25,706 --> 00:08:27,606
So, between us...
163
00:08:28,208 --> 00:08:30,838
What do you hate most
about your nanny?
164
00:08:30,841 --> 00:08:33,681
I love Jessie!
But I'll tell you
what I do hate...
165
00:08:33,684 --> 00:08:35,824
What, what? Spill it, sister.
166
00:08:36,787 --> 00:08:38,987
Fashion atrocities.
Like sweatpants,
167
00:08:38,989 --> 00:08:42,089
which are totes lame,
and supes embarrassing.
168
00:08:42,092 --> 00:08:45,802
Also, socks with sandals,
jackets with
too many zippers...
169
00:08:45,796 --> 00:08:47,656
You mean like mine?
170
00:08:47,658 --> 00:08:49,758
Exactly! You're welcome.
171
00:08:52,262 --> 00:08:56,772
So Ravi, what bothers you
most about your brother
and sisters?
172
00:08:56,767 --> 00:08:59,167
Nothing! I wish
I could shrink them,
173
00:08:59,169 --> 00:09:01,739
and carry them around
in my pocket.
174
00:09:01,742 --> 00:09:04,142
FYI, I am working
on the technology.
175
00:09:05,175 --> 00:09:08,645
Meanwhile, let me tell you
about my dear sister, Emma...
176
00:09:08,649 --> 00:09:12,219
Oh! (CHUCKLING)
Excuse me, I didn't know
you were filming here.
177
00:09:12,222 --> 00:09:14,022
Hi, Morgan! Hi, Christina!
178
00:09:14,024 --> 00:09:17,664
Just doing what I always do,
work, work, work! (CHUCKLES)
179
00:09:18,689 --> 00:09:22,629
The butler, on the other hand,
can be very tiresome.
180
00:09:27,668 --> 00:09:31,138
So, Jessie, I hear it's
almost two year nanniversary.
181
00:09:31,902 --> 00:09:35,052
You must be getting
so sick of this job.
182
00:09:35,045 --> 00:09:37,075
Oh, no, no, I love the kids.
183
00:09:37,077 --> 00:09:40,077
But I'm not just a nanny.
I'm also an actress.
184
00:09:41,111 --> 00:09:43,111
So you say!
185
00:09:43,113 --> 00:09:44,213
Constantly!
186
00:09:45,155 --> 00:09:46,815
Okay, what have I seen you in?
187
00:09:47,718 --> 00:09:49,318
Does this show count?
No.
188
00:09:49,319 --> 00:09:50,619
Then nothing.
189
00:09:51,662 --> 00:09:55,072
Ah, Jessie, I see
you're still filming,
190
00:09:55,065 --> 00:09:57,325
while I am hard at work.
191
00:09:57,828 --> 00:09:59,768
Okay, if Bertram
gets to pretend
he's a working butler,
192
00:09:59,770 --> 00:10:01,930
I get to pretend
I'm a working actress.
193
00:10:02,372 --> 00:10:06,842
BTW, go see Morgan Ross's
brilliant new movie,
Slugasaurus!
194
00:10:06,837 --> 00:10:10,007
(TV NARRATOR STYLE)
"It leaves a slimy
trail of terror!"
195
00:10:10,010 --> 00:10:11,740
So do you.
196
00:10:16,616 --> 00:10:19,016
I cannot wait to watch
the first episode of my...
197
00:10:19,019 --> 00:10:21,089
I mean, our TV show!
198
00:10:23,093 --> 00:10:25,963
Aw, look. He fell asleep
mid-clean.
199
00:10:26,697 --> 00:10:27,957
I'll wake him.
200
00:10:28,358 --> 00:10:29,898
(BERTRAM SNORING)
201
00:10:30,661 --> 00:10:32,231
(SHOUTING) Bertram!
(SHRIEKS)
202
00:10:34,204 --> 00:10:37,674
Well, at least my face
is now dust free.
203
00:10:38,038 --> 00:10:41,768
All this work is really
getting in the way of my naps.
204
00:10:42,873 --> 00:10:46,183
You would think the 14 hours
you get every night
would be enough.
205
00:10:47,417 --> 00:10:49,747
I've seen cats sleep less.
206
00:10:49,750 --> 00:10:51,780
(REALITY SHOW THEME PLAYING)
207
00:10:51,782 --> 00:10:53,182
(GASPS) It's starting!
208
00:11:00,160 --> 00:11:02,230
I may not know what I'm doing,
209
00:11:02,232 --> 00:11:04,362
but I always look good
doing it.
210
00:11:06,666 --> 00:11:08,666
Ladies, take a number.
211
00:11:09,700 --> 00:11:11,700
Then give me yours.
212
00:11:14,274 --> 00:11:16,314
Bedtimes are for suckers!
213
00:11:19,409 --> 00:11:21,949
Oh, are we rolling?
Should I speak now?
214
00:11:23,283 --> 00:11:24,923
(ALL LAUGHING)
215
00:11:25,786 --> 00:11:29,716
When you work for
Morgan and Christina,
it's no sweat!
216
00:11:34,164 --> 00:11:36,734
I'm a nanny
pursuing her dream...
217
00:11:40,801 --> 00:11:42,471
"...of becoming an actress!"
218
00:11:42,472 --> 00:11:44,102
They cut that part out!
219
00:11:44,104 --> 00:11:46,484
This TV show is supposed to
jump start my acting career,
220
00:11:46,476 --> 00:11:48,206
so I can finally
do something I love.
221
00:11:51,141 --> 00:11:54,891
Not, not that I don't cherish
every day with you guys.
222
00:11:56,787 --> 00:11:59,347
Let me tell you about
my dear sister, Emma...
223
00:11:59,750 --> 00:12:03,220
She is a combination
of nasty and awful.
224
00:12:03,223 --> 00:12:05,063
She's nasty-ful.
225
00:12:05,796 --> 00:12:08,056
Hey! That was mean!
226
00:12:08,058 --> 00:12:09,458
I didn't say that!
227
00:12:09,459 --> 00:12:11,299
Well, TV Zuri just did!
228
00:12:12,502 --> 00:12:15,812
And how to describe
my beloved sister, Zuri...
229
00:12:15,806 --> 00:12:18,236
Totes lame,
and supes embarrassing.
230
00:12:18,939 --> 00:12:20,769
What did you just say
about me?
231
00:12:20,771 --> 00:12:23,911
She said you were totes lame,
and supes embarrassing.
232
00:12:26,746 --> 00:12:30,216
I didn't say it about Zuri!
I said it about wearing
socks with sandals.
233
00:12:30,220 --> 00:12:31,750
(GASPS)
234
00:12:31,751 --> 00:12:34,321
You told me I made them work!
235
00:12:34,324 --> 00:12:39,064
You will notice I made
no disparaging comments
about your excessive make-up!
236
00:12:39,459 --> 00:12:41,829
BTW, the circus left town
without you.
237
00:12:42,893 --> 00:12:44,433
(LUKE SCOFFING)
238
00:12:44,434 --> 00:12:48,244
How dare you?
Oh, quiet, Bozo!
This is my part!
239
00:12:50,000 --> 00:12:52,770
When the ladies
see me dancing,
they'll be all over me.
240
00:12:52,772 --> 00:12:55,082
LUKE: Check this out!
(GROANS)
241
00:12:57,978 --> 00:13:00,548
I wouldn't have fallen
if Bertram wasn't vacuuming!
242
00:13:00,550 --> 00:13:03,210
Did you know
dust can get under furniture?
243
00:13:03,213 --> 00:13:04,923
This job is impossible!
244
00:13:06,516 --> 00:13:08,886
Why did they show
the one time I fell?
245
00:13:09,119 --> 00:13:12,319
Okay guys,
you're all overreacting.
It's just a TV show.
246
00:13:13,123 --> 00:13:15,403
(LAUGHING)
247
00:13:15,826 --> 00:13:18,826
I just scratched myself
in front of the whole country!
248
00:13:19,129 --> 00:13:21,169
Don't forget Canada.
249
00:13:25,035 --> 00:13:27,535
I can't believe I look
so bad on television.
250
00:13:27,537 --> 00:13:30,477
I mean, I looked fabulous,
but I looked bad.
251
00:13:31,541 --> 00:13:34,921
I can't believe I fell
in front of the whole country.
252
00:13:34,915 --> 00:13:36,285
Don't forget Canada.
253
00:13:37,988 --> 00:13:40,018
If only someone
would have warned us
254
00:13:40,020 --> 00:13:42,290
that we might come off
looking like fools.
255
00:13:42,552 --> 00:13:45,202
Oh, wait! Someone did!
256
00:13:47,257 --> 00:13:50,597
Guys, relax. I doubt anyone
even saw it.
257
00:13:50,600 --> 00:13:53,560
Hey! You're those weirdos
from the TV show!
258
00:13:54,905 --> 00:13:57,005
Always nice to meet a fan.
259
00:13:57,537 --> 00:14:00,367
OMG, you're Luke!
You're my favorite!
260
00:14:00,370 --> 00:14:01,910
Why, thank you.
261
00:14:01,912 --> 00:14:04,952
So, uh, you girls don't think
I looked bad when I fell?
262
00:14:04,945 --> 00:14:07,575
(ALL LAUGHING)
Of course! You looked like
a total klutz!
263
00:14:07,577 --> 00:14:10,847
Even worse than that hot mess
in the socks with sandals.
264
00:14:11,922 --> 00:14:14,582
The hot mess has bunions!
265
00:14:15,986 --> 00:14:18,486
And you're the frumpy nanny!
Hey, scratch yourself!
266
00:14:19,859 --> 00:14:21,029
(SHUTTERS CLICKING)
Will not!
267
00:14:21,331 --> 00:14:24,971
Hey, it's the mean queen,
and the dumb catchphrase girl!
268
00:14:24,965 --> 00:14:27,065
Oh, yeah? Catch this.
269
00:14:27,267 --> 00:14:28,597
Luke, hold my hoops.
270
00:14:28,598 --> 00:14:30,468
(YELLING)
271
00:14:31,641 --> 00:14:34,641
Whoa, Emma was right.
Zuri is embarrassing.
272
00:14:36,006 --> 00:14:39,646
For the last time,
I was talking about Ravi's
hideous choice of footwear!
273
00:14:39,649 --> 00:14:41,009
(GASPS)
274
00:14:41,011 --> 00:14:43,511
Ooh, look, mean girl's
being mean again!
275
00:14:43,513 --> 00:14:45,563
(SCREECHING) I am not mean!
276
00:14:46,556 --> 00:14:49,916
Ow! You pummeled my piggies!
277
00:14:51,261 --> 00:14:53,061
Two can play at that game!
278
00:14:54,965 --> 00:14:56,195
(GRUNTING WITH EFFORT)
279
00:14:58,568 --> 00:15:01,598
Stand back, noodle arms!
I've got this.
280
00:15:05,275 --> 00:15:07,575
Guys, stop!
This is embarrassing.
281
00:15:07,577 --> 00:15:10,107
And I'm pretty sure
I have to pay
for all this food now!
282
00:15:11,511 --> 00:15:15,051
Thank goodness
Corinne was not here
to exploit my manly rage.
283
00:15:15,045 --> 00:15:16,485
Oh, I'm here.
284
00:15:16,486 --> 00:15:20,546
And this is going to make
a delicious promo
for next week's episode.
285
00:15:20,550 --> 00:15:22,490
We can't wait to watch!
286
00:15:23,323 --> 00:15:24,653
How do you sleep at night?
287
00:15:24,654 --> 00:15:27,334
Oh, warm milk
and great ratings.
288
00:15:28,158 --> 00:15:29,528
Thanks!
289
00:15:29,529 --> 00:15:32,559
Come back here,
you cold-blooded,
disgusting reptile!
290
00:15:32,562 --> 00:15:34,062
(MRS. KIPLING SNARLING)
291
00:15:36,636 --> 00:15:38,536
You're lucky
you're endangered.
292
00:15:46,446 --> 00:15:49,176
Good, you're back!
(ALL GROAN)
293
00:15:50,420 --> 00:15:52,220
Everyone still mad?
294
00:15:52,222 --> 00:15:54,652
(SING-SONG) I've got some
key lime pies for you
to throw at each other.
295
00:15:56,056 --> 00:15:57,556
And... Go!
296
00:15:57,557 --> 00:15:58,987
Okay, that's it.
297
00:15:58,989 --> 00:16:02,489
Your stupid reality show
has done enough damage
to this family.
298
00:16:02,492 --> 00:16:04,562
We quit!
(CHUCKLES)
299
00:16:04,564 --> 00:16:06,074
You guys can't quit.
300
00:16:06,066 --> 00:16:09,666
If you break your contract,
I'll sue you
for everything you've got.
301
00:16:09,669 --> 00:16:12,699
Fine by me!
I don't have anything!
302
00:16:12,702 --> 00:16:14,102
So, ha!
303
00:16:14,604 --> 00:16:16,614
Uh, Jessie? A word?
304
00:16:18,548 --> 00:16:23,408
Look, you may not be able
to afford more than
one topping on your pizza...
305
00:16:23,413 --> 00:16:25,993
But we are loaded
like a baked potato!
306
00:16:27,617 --> 00:16:30,017
Glad we're on the same page.
307
00:16:30,020 --> 00:16:33,120
See you tomorrow night
for your big nanniversary
dinner, Jessie.
308
00:16:33,493 --> 00:16:36,273
And remember,
we're always watching.
309
00:16:43,373 --> 00:16:45,743
Zuri, did you just eat
one of those pies?
310
00:16:46,136 --> 00:16:47,236
No!
311
00:16:51,041 --> 00:16:54,241
Okay, now that we're
in the one place
with no cameras...
312
00:16:55,215 --> 00:16:57,145
Wait, where's Zuri?
313
00:16:57,547 --> 00:17:00,447
ZURI: (MUFFLED)
Buried under Bertram.
314
00:17:00,450 --> 00:17:01,690
(GROANS)
315
00:17:03,623 --> 00:17:06,033
What did you think
that poking was?
316
00:17:08,528 --> 00:17:10,128
(STOMACH GURGLING)
Indigestion.
317
00:17:11,501 --> 00:17:15,071
Okay, so, since Corinne won't
let us quit the show,
318
00:17:15,065 --> 00:17:16,305
here's the plan...
(ELEVATOR DINGS)
319
00:17:18,568 --> 00:17:20,038
Really?
320
00:17:21,141 --> 00:17:22,571
(ALL GROANING)
321
00:17:23,543 --> 00:17:25,683
Okay, we can't give Corinne
anything to use against us,
322
00:17:25,675 --> 00:17:28,275
so from now on,
we just have to be
super nice to each other.
323
00:17:28,278 --> 00:17:30,248
I am nice!
324
00:17:30,250 --> 00:17:33,550
And if I hear one more
snarky remark
about my footwear,
325
00:17:33,553 --> 00:17:36,193
someone will get a
bunion to the butt!
326
00:17:37,387 --> 00:17:39,627
Please. The last time
you tried to step
on a cockroach,
327
00:17:39,629 --> 00:17:42,159
it pushed you over
and took your lunch money.
328
00:17:42,592 --> 00:17:44,632
(CHUCKLES) Ravi's weak.
329
00:17:46,666 --> 00:17:48,696
This is exactly
what I'm talking about!
330
00:17:48,698 --> 00:17:50,498
Look, if we want to
get rid of Corinne,
331
00:17:50,500 --> 00:17:54,200
we have to be the nicest,
most polite people
on the face of the Earth.
332
00:17:54,704 --> 00:17:56,514
Okay!
(SCREAM)
333
00:17:56,506 --> 00:17:59,546
Get these out of my face,
or your head is next!
334
00:18:05,615 --> 00:18:07,855
Okay, that was an example
of what not to do.
335
00:18:12,422 --> 00:18:15,332
Jessie, your nanniversary
dinner is served.
336
00:18:15,625 --> 00:18:17,695
I do hope that later
you will regale us
337
00:18:17,697 --> 00:18:21,267
with one of your magnificent
dating stories.
338
00:18:21,271 --> 00:18:23,201
They are always so riveting.
339
00:18:24,474 --> 00:18:26,444
Oh, Bertram, you flatter me.
340
00:18:26,436 --> 00:18:30,476
And might I say
that you are a fine man,
with a sunny disposition,
341
00:18:30,480 --> 00:18:31,880
and no weird hobbies at all.
342
00:18:35,685 --> 00:18:39,645
Dear sister, would you care
for some more lemonade?
343
00:18:39,649 --> 00:18:41,589
Thank you, Zuri.
How kind of you.
344
00:18:43,523 --> 00:18:49,263
Allow me to serenade you all
with bird calls
to help aid digestion.
345
00:18:49,259 --> 00:18:50,659
I give you
346
00:18:51,331 --> 00:18:53,201
the haunting loon.
347
00:18:54,864 --> 00:18:56,644
(MIMICKING BIRD CRY)
348
00:19:01,811 --> 00:19:04,811
That is the worst loon call
I ever heard.
349
00:19:04,814 --> 00:19:07,384
And I worked on Loon Dynasty.
350
00:19:08,518 --> 00:19:09,878
I see what you're doing.
351
00:19:09,879 --> 00:19:12,619
You're trying to ruin my show
by acting all nice.
352
00:19:13,523 --> 00:19:15,633
We're just being ourselves
in front of the cameras,
353
00:19:15,625 --> 00:19:18,255
in full compliance
with our contract.
354
00:19:19,689 --> 00:19:21,259
And what's wrong
with being nice?
355
00:19:21,591 --> 00:19:23,431
(STOMACH GURGLING)
(GASPS)
356
00:19:23,863 --> 00:19:26,473
Wow, you do have indigestion.
357
00:19:26,466 --> 00:19:29,566
Seriously, it sounds like
The Last Days of Pompeii
in there.
358
00:19:31,571 --> 00:19:34,301
Face it, Corinne.
We're done being your puppets!
359
00:19:34,504 --> 00:19:35,514
JESSIE: Yeah.
360
00:19:35,905 --> 00:19:37,645
This family
may not be perfect,
361
00:19:37,647 --> 00:19:39,447
but we do love each other.
362
00:19:39,449 --> 00:19:41,549
And that's as real as it gets.
363
00:19:41,551 --> 00:19:42,811
Real?
364
00:19:42,812 --> 00:19:46,462
Reality shows
are about as real
as my expense report!
365
00:19:47,557 --> 00:19:49,387
My idiotic bosses
366
00:19:49,389 --> 00:19:52,919
and the knuckle-draggers
who watch these shows
expect drama!
367
00:19:52,922 --> 00:19:54,662
So, stop eating that food,
368
00:19:54,664 --> 00:19:56,704
and start throwing it
at each other!
369
00:19:58,498 --> 00:20:01,868
Don't you think your bosses
and the viewers
might be offended
370
00:20:01,871 --> 00:20:03,471
if they heard
what you just said?
371
00:20:03,473 --> 00:20:06,543
What, did you get that from,
"Duh Magazine"?
372
00:20:06,536 --> 00:20:08,406
Of course they would.
373
00:20:08,408 --> 00:20:11,738
But, I edit all the footage,
so no one
will see it, but me.
374
00:20:11,741 --> 00:20:14,811
I wouldn't be so sure
about that. Luke, now!
375
00:20:14,814 --> 00:20:16,224
Ha ha!
376
00:20:16,686 --> 00:20:18,446
Grab that memory card!
377
00:20:18,448 --> 00:20:21,348
That's how we do, son!
Beast! Yow!
378
00:20:22,722 --> 00:20:23,722
Emma!
379
00:20:24,254 --> 00:20:25,264
Jessie!
380
00:20:25,625 --> 00:20:27,495
No! Give me that!
381
00:20:27,497 --> 00:20:28,597
Ravi, go long!
382
00:20:28,598 --> 00:20:32,758
If that is a sports term,
it is totally lost on me.
383
00:20:32,762 --> 00:20:35,612
Just run, catch this,
and upload it to the Internet!
384
00:20:35,605 --> 00:20:38,005
CORINNE: (SHRIEKING) No!
385
00:20:38,007 --> 00:20:39,707
(SNARLING)
386
00:20:41,541 --> 00:20:43,641
Better run before
Mrs. Kipling gets real...
387
00:20:44,274 --> 00:20:45,854
Real hungry!
(SNARLS)
388
00:20:46,716 --> 00:20:48,646
(SCREAMING)
389
00:20:50,280 --> 00:20:51,620
You're all fired!
390
00:20:52,452 --> 00:20:53,622
Good riddance!
391
00:20:53,623 --> 00:20:54,853
I hope we never see you again!
392
00:20:54,854 --> 00:20:56,664
Unless you get a network show.
393
00:20:57,627 --> 00:20:59,757
I'll... I'll send you
my headshot!
394
00:21:01,891 --> 00:21:04,291
Hey, a girl's got to try.
395
00:21:05,735 --> 00:21:07,995
Well, at least now we can all
get back to normal.
396
00:21:07,997 --> 00:21:09,637
(SNORING)
397
00:21:11,000 --> 00:21:12,770
(CHUCKLES)
Bertram already has.
398
00:21:14,644 --> 00:21:15,954
Well, you can't blame him.
399
00:21:15,945 --> 00:21:18,375
He did work three whole hours
this week.
400
00:21:21,010 --> 00:21:23,680
Aw, he's so cute.
401
00:21:23,683 --> 00:21:25,463
(STOMACH GURGLING)
402
00:21:25,815 --> 00:21:28,555
I think he's gonna blow! Run!
403
00:21:33,763 --> 00:21:37,033
Jessie, I know the reality
show didn't end up helping
your acting career,
404
00:21:37,026 --> 00:21:38,426
but look on the bright side.
405
00:21:38,428 --> 00:21:39,468
What would that be?
406
00:21:39,869 --> 00:21:41,899
I don't know. I was hoping
you had something.
407
00:21:44,674 --> 00:21:47,844
Well, it did bring us
closer together as a family,
408
00:21:47,837 --> 00:21:50,837
and I'm glad we can finally
get rid of these stupid
surveillance cameras.
409
00:21:50,840 --> 00:21:54,640
Me too. Now we can
just go back to being
ordinary kids.
410
00:21:54,644 --> 00:21:57,924
You know,
most ordinary kids don't have
two private islands.
411
00:21:58,618 --> 00:22:00,348
That is so sad.
412
00:22:04,424 --> 00:22:07,634
Zuri, I said collect
the cameras,
not destroy them.
413
00:22:07,627 --> 00:22:10,557
I know.
But breaking stuff is fun.
414
00:22:10,560 --> 00:22:13,630
On a related note,
you need a new lamp
for your bedroom.
415
00:22:14,964 --> 00:22:17,614
Jessie, come quick!
Corinne is back with her
camera crew!
416
00:22:17,607 --> 00:22:20,407
What? I'm going to do
the Texas two-step on her...
417
00:22:20,640 --> 00:22:21,940
Hey! A party!
418
00:22:23,042 --> 00:22:25,882
ALL: Happy Nanniversary!
419
00:22:25,875 --> 00:22:29,575
Aw, guys...
I don't know
what to say, except...
420
00:22:29,579 --> 00:22:30,819
Who's "Jassie?"
421
00:22:32,922 --> 00:22:35,562
I'm sorry,
I'm still really tired.
422
00:22:35,555 --> 00:22:39,025
There's a 75% chance
I iced the cake with lard.
423
00:22:40,960 --> 00:22:43,960
Guys, thank you so much.
424
00:22:45,134 --> 00:22:48,774
Look, I would not trade
the last two years
with you all for anything.
425
00:22:49,469 --> 00:22:50,739
Neither would we.
426
00:22:50,740 --> 00:22:53,140
I'd trade all of you guys
for a week in Key West.
427
00:22:54,644 --> 00:22:57,654
But let's have some
nanniversary cake!
(CHUCKLES)
428
00:22:57,647 --> 00:22:59,847
Aw, guys this is beautiful.
429
00:23:00,680 --> 00:23:01,810
Yep, lard.
32305
Can't find what you're looking for?
Get subtitles in any language from opensubtitles.com, and translate them here.
Afrikaans
Albanian
Amharic
Arabic
Armenian
Azerbaijani
Basque
Belarusian
Bengali
Bosnian
Bulgarian
Catalan
Cebuano
Chichewa
Chinese (Simplified)
Chinese (Traditional)
Corsican
Croatian
Czech
Danish
English
Esperanto
Estonian
Finnish
French
Frisian
Galician
Georgian
German
Greek
Gujarati
Haitian Creole
Hawaiian
Hungarian
Icelandic
Indonesian
Irish
Italian
Japanese
Kazakh
Khmer
Korean
Kurdish (Kurmanji)
Kyrgyz
Lao
Latvian
Lithuanian
Luxembourgish
Macedonian
Malagasy
Malay
Maltese
Maori
Mongolian
Myanmar (Burmese)
Nepali
Norwegian
Pashto
Polish
Portuguese
Romanian
Russian
Samoan
Serbian
Sesotho
Shona
Sinhala
Slovak
Slovenian
Somali
Spanish
Swahili
Swedish
Tajik
Thai
Turkish
Ukrainian
Urdu
Uzbek
Vietnamese
