Would you like to inspect the original subtitles? These are the user uploaded subtitles that are being translated:
1
00:00:07,678 --> 00:00:10,078
Darla just had
to email me
every detail
2
00:00:10,081 --> 00:00:12,441
about the trip
she and her boyfriend
took to Rio.
3
00:00:12,443 --> 00:00:16,623
The most exotic place
Tony's ever taken me
is The Empanada Garden.
4
00:00:16,617 --> 00:00:19,617
Hey, nothing says
I love you like
a deep-fried meat pillow.
5
00:00:19,620 --> 00:00:21,520
(ZURI CHUCKLING)
6
00:00:23,494 --> 00:00:26,404
Zuri?
7
00:00:26,397 --> 00:00:29,057
What are you doing
in the dumbwaiter?
I put you on the bus.
8
00:00:29,060 --> 00:00:30,700
The bus has two doors.
9
00:00:32,603 --> 00:00:36,473
Now, if you'll excuse me,
I'm playing Oprah and Gayle
with my dollies.
10
00:00:38,639 --> 00:00:40,539
Come here.
11
00:00:40,541 --> 00:00:42,611
Why aren't
you in school?
12
00:00:42,613 --> 00:00:44,753
The more important
question might be,
13
00:00:44,745 --> 00:00:47,315
do my parents know
you both just sit around
14
00:00:47,318 --> 00:00:49,548
when we're not home?
15
00:00:49,550 --> 00:00:52,620
Hey, I am researching
kitchen cleaners!
16
00:00:52,623 --> 00:00:55,433
Your mother hates it
when the stainless steel
gets streaky.
17
00:00:55,426 --> 00:00:57,326
She can't see
herself in the fridge.
18
00:01:00,431 --> 00:01:02,161
Why don't you want
to go to school?
19
00:01:02,163 --> 00:01:06,343
Because Ms. Falkenberg
is the meanest teacher
in the world!
20
00:01:06,337 --> 00:01:08,437
How could she be
mean to you?
You're so adorable.
21
00:01:08,439 --> 00:01:09,699
I know, right?
22
00:01:10,641 --> 00:01:12,101
Absolutely.
23
00:01:12,103 --> 00:01:14,073
Whatever you say, Oprah.
24
00:01:15,646 --> 00:01:17,846
Zuri, I'm sure
you're exaggerating,
25
00:01:17,848 --> 00:01:20,608
but tomorrow
I start volunteering
as your class aide,
26
00:01:20,611 --> 00:01:22,611
so I'll see for myself
what's going on.
27
00:01:22,613 --> 00:01:25,763
Wait, wait, wait.
So tomorrow I get
the apartment to myself?
28
00:01:25,756 --> 00:01:28,486
I get to play my music
as loud as I want!
29
00:01:28,489 --> 00:01:31,159
(CHUCKLES)
The new Mozart
album just dropped.
30
00:01:31,162 --> 00:01:32,422
(HOOTS EXCITEDLY)
31
00:01:34,525 --> 00:01:37,165
Bertram,
you're a wild man.
32
00:01:37,168 --> 00:01:38,668
(CHUCKLES)
33
00:01:38,669 --> 00:01:41,829
♪ Oh, oh, oh, oh
Oh, oh, oh, oh
34
00:01:41,832 --> 00:01:45,742
♪ Hey Jessie, hey Jessie
35
00:01:45,736 --> 00:01:49,236
♪ It feels like a party
every day
36
00:01:49,240 --> 00:01:52,710
♪ Hey Jessie, hey Jessie
37
00:01:52,713 --> 00:01:56,323
♪ But they keep on pulling
me every which way
38
00:01:56,317 --> 00:01:59,587
♪ Hey Jessie, hey Jessie
39
00:01:59,590 --> 00:02:03,250
♪ My whole world is changing
Turning around
40
00:02:03,254 --> 00:02:06,864
♪ They got me going crazy
Yeah, they're shaking
the ground
41
00:02:06,857 --> 00:02:10,797
♪ But they took a chance
on the new girl in town
42
00:02:10,801 --> 00:02:14,471
♪ And I don't want to let them
down, down, down
43
00:02:14,465 --> 00:02:15,805
♪ Hey Jessie
44
00:02:17,638 --> 00:02:19,568
♪ Hey Jessie
45
00:02:21,442 --> 00:02:25,182
♪ It feels like a party
every day
46
00:02:25,176 --> 00:02:28,776
♪ Hey, hey, hey,
hey, hey, Jessie ♪
47
00:02:32,152 --> 00:02:34,332
(SCHOOL BELL RINGING)
48
00:02:34,325 --> 00:02:36,725
Zuri, Zuri, Zuri. Hi!
Look at your face!
49
00:02:36,727 --> 00:02:39,227
Hi, I'm Zuri's nanny.
That's me.
50
00:02:39,230 --> 00:02:42,660
Hi, Ms. Falkenberg.
My name's Jessie...
(CHUCKLES)
51
00:02:42,663 --> 00:02:44,673
I'm your new
classroom aide.
52
00:02:44,665 --> 00:02:48,695
Oh, okay. I brought
lunch, a juice box,
and safety scissors.
53
00:02:48,699 --> 00:02:51,239
I think Zuri
has everything
that she needs.
54
00:02:51,242 --> 00:02:53,902
They're for me.
55
00:02:53,904 --> 00:02:57,684
Now, class, while
Ms. Perky Pants is passing
out the worksheets,
56
00:02:57,678 --> 00:03:01,348
who here can tell me
a country that borders
Germany.
57
00:03:01,352 --> 00:03:03,912
Why do we need
to know where
Germany is?
58
00:03:03,914 --> 00:03:06,894
That's the Internet's job.
59
00:03:06,887 --> 00:03:10,887
Zuri Ross, we have heard
your opinion one too many
times this morning.
60
00:03:12,263 --> 00:03:14,303
(CHAIR DRAGGING)
61
00:03:14,295 --> 00:03:15,965
(SNICKERS)
62
00:03:15,966 --> 00:03:19,296
And I think she had
one too many burritos
for dinner last night.
63
00:03:19,300 --> 00:03:20,670
(KIDS LAUGHING)
64
00:03:22,273 --> 00:03:23,673
It was the chair!
65
00:03:25,406 --> 00:03:27,406
Zuri Ross, that's it.
66
00:03:27,408 --> 00:03:30,238
Once again, you are first
on the Naughty Board.
67
00:03:30,241 --> 00:03:31,541
Not again!
68
00:03:31,542 --> 00:03:32,942
Oh, yes, again!
69
00:03:34,615 --> 00:03:35,685
(SIGHS)
70
00:03:35,686 --> 00:03:37,386
Zuri.
I'm so sorry.
71
00:03:37,388 --> 00:03:39,348
She's much better
behaved at home.
72
00:03:39,350 --> 00:03:43,320
Jessie, I think
we both know
that's not true.
73
00:03:43,324 --> 00:03:45,504
She's mean,
but she's not
an idiot!
74
00:03:49,760 --> 00:03:53,560
Enough, Mrs. Kipling,
I am sick of your
moody behavior!
75
00:03:53,564 --> 00:03:56,244
BERTRAM: Ravi!
What is going on here?
76
00:03:56,236 --> 00:03:58,306
I was deep into
my pre-bedtime nap.
77
00:03:59,710 --> 00:04:02,370
It is not me. Talk to
the irascible reptile.
78
00:04:03,243 --> 00:04:04,283
(GRUNTS)
79
00:04:05,776 --> 00:04:06,946
(GASPS)
80
00:04:06,947 --> 00:04:10,847
(SOBS) My World's
Best Butler mug!
81
00:04:13,384 --> 00:04:16,564
I had to buy it for myself,
but that doesn't make it
any less precious!
82
00:04:18,289 --> 00:04:20,259
What are you two
fighting about?
83
00:04:20,260 --> 00:04:21,560
I merely suggested
84
00:04:21,562 --> 00:04:24,542
Mrs. Kipling cut back
on the crickets to lose
the baby weight,
85
00:04:24,535 --> 00:04:28,635
and suddenly, she comes down
on me like a Mumbai monsoon!
86
00:04:28,639 --> 00:04:30,039
(GROWLING)
87
00:04:30,040 --> 00:04:31,570
You started it.
88
00:04:33,043 --> 00:04:34,583
I've never seen you two fight.
89
00:04:34,575 --> 00:04:36,405
I thought you were
the best of friends.
90
00:04:36,407 --> 00:04:38,347
We used to be.
91
00:04:38,349 --> 00:04:43,309
But 12 kids
really take a toll
on a relationship.
92
00:04:43,314 --> 00:04:46,324
Even four kids
is enough to make
you want to end it all.
93
00:04:47,718 --> 00:04:49,318
Ever since
the babies left,
94
00:04:49,320 --> 00:04:51,760
Mrs. Kipling has been
so moody and snappish.
95
00:04:53,324 --> 00:04:55,334
We need a break.
96
00:04:55,326 --> 00:04:57,996
I am going someplace
where I know I will
feel truly welcome.
97
00:04:59,400 --> 00:05:00,770
Hello, roomie!
98
00:05:04,074 --> 00:05:07,444
Hey, brother,
I am moving in!
99
00:05:07,438 --> 00:05:09,478
Uh, if the lizard smell
has finally gotten to you,
100
00:05:09,480 --> 00:05:12,480
you've chosen
the wrong room
for fresh air.
101
00:05:12,483 --> 00:05:14,313
It is not the cage
that stinks,
102
00:05:14,314 --> 00:05:16,654
it is Mrs. Kipling's
attitude.
103
00:05:16,647 --> 00:05:19,947
(SIGHS) I can no longer
share a room with her.
104
00:05:19,950 --> 00:05:21,750
Luke, please do
for me this solid.
105
00:05:23,424 --> 00:05:25,034
I'd... I'd really love
to have you here,
but...
106
00:05:25,025 --> 00:05:27,855
Great, I would love
to have me here, too!
107
00:05:27,858 --> 00:05:29,598
Oh, thank you, bro!
108
00:05:31,101 --> 00:05:32,761
Am I correct to assume
109
00:05:32,763 --> 00:05:36,373
the standard "no jumping
on the bed rule" does not
apply in here?
110
00:05:36,367 --> 00:05:37,507
Nope!
111
00:05:44,575 --> 00:05:45,915
This is a rule-free zone.
(CHUCKLES)
112
00:05:47,347 --> 00:05:51,917
Although clearly,
not a germ-free zone.
113
00:05:51,922 --> 00:05:54,352
Hey! I think
I remember
this birthday!
114
00:05:54,755 --> 00:05:55,955
Mmm.
115
00:05:55,956 --> 00:05:57,656
Eh, it's kind of dry.
116
00:05:57,658 --> 00:05:59,858
And fuzzy.
117
00:05:59,860 --> 00:06:02,760
Oh, if you let me
stay, perhaps I can
turn this cake
118
00:06:02,763 --> 00:06:05,443
into an A-plus
science project
for you.
119
00:06:08,368 --> 00:06:09,668
What else do I get?
120
00:06:09,670 --> 00:06:11,870
The infinite joy
of helping your brother?
121
00:06:12,973 --> 00:06:14,953
The time to bond
122
00:06:14,945 --> 00:06:16,675
and find the elusive
camaraderie we have
both been seeking?
123
00:06:18,148 --> 00:06:20,478
Am I correct to assume
you want money?
124
00:06:22,152 --> 00:06:23,452
Bingo.
125
00:06:29,420 --> 00:06:31,490
A gazillion
is not a real number.
126
00:06:34,465 --> 00:06:35,765
Is Ravi in here?
127
00:06:35,766 --> 00:06:37,396
Mrs. Kipling
is in my closet,
128
00:06:37,397 --> 00:06:39,567
cuddling my faux lizard pumps.
129
00:06:39,570 --> 00:06:41,530
Ravi, you have
to come get her!
130
00:06:41,532 --> 00:06:43,632
No, I am giving her
her space.
131
00:06:43,634 --> 00:06:45,744
No, you're giving
her my space.
132
00:06:47,438 --> 00:06:48,608
Please, sister,
133
00:06:48,609 --> 00:06:52,409
I need some "guy time"
with my bro, doing
"guy type" things.
134
00:06:54,044 --> 00:06:56,994
Now, Luke, let us
color coordinate
your closet.
135
00:07:01,492 --> 00:07:05,532
So, now that you've seen
Falkenbooger in action,
136
00:07:05,526 --> 00:07:07,896
you get that she's
a nightmare, right?
137
00:07:07,898 --> 00:07:10,428
Yeah, she's not
very good with kids.
138
00:07:10,430 --> 00:07:12,160
Or adults.
139
00:07:12,162 --> 00:07:15,212
Even the class gerbil
was spelling out "help me"
in food pellets.
140
00:07:17,538 --> 00:07:21,008
I'll accept my apology
in any of the three Bs.
141
00:07:21,011 --> 00:07:23,741
Bucks, bacon
or bedtime extensions.
142
00:07:25,716 --> 00:07:29,476
Hey, Ms. Falkenberg
may be a pain, but you
were out of line, too.
143
00:07:29,480 --> 00:07:32,080
I was always
the teacher's pet and
I'm gonna teach you
144
00:07:32,082 --> 00:07:33,882
all of my tricks.
145
00:07:33,884 --> 00:07:36,564
So, the bacon's
off the table?
146
00:07:42,833 --> 00:07:45,003
Good morning,
Ms. Falkenberg.
147
00:07:44,995 --> 00:07:46,465
Ooh, what is this?
148
00:07:46,466 --> 00:07:49,596
I thought you deserved
something as sweet as you are.
149
00:07:49,600 --> 00:07:51,640
And speaking
of sweet,
150
00:07:51,642 --> 00:07:54,652
way to rock
that pantsuit.
151
00:07:54,645 --> 00:07:57,875
Oh, why, thank you.
I got it when I bid
on a storage locker.
152
00:08:01,612 --> 00:08:03,582
All right, class.
153
00:08:03,584 --> 00:08:07,664
Tell me, what do we see here?
154
00:08:08,659 --> 00:08:10,159
Anyone?
155
00:08:10,160 --> 00:08:11,960
Well, I see Paris,
156
00:08:13,063 --> 00:08:14,703
I see France.
157
00:08:15,896 --> 00:08:17,226
Zuri Ross.
158
00:08:18,599 --> 00:08:20,599
Tell me, what do you see?
159
00:08:25,876 --> 00:08:30,206
So help me, you do not
see anyone's underpants!
160
00:08:30,210 --> 00:08:34,720
I see a country
known for its
Gothic architecture,
161
00:08:34,715 --> 00:08:37,785
haute cuisine, and
modernist philosophy.
162
00:08:37,788 --> 00:08:40,918
And a vision of loveliness
standing next to it.
163
00:08:42,923 --> 00:08:46,633
Zuri Ross, I don't
know what shenanigans
you're trying to pull,
164
00:08:47,958 --> 00:08:49,598
but it's not going to work.
165
00:08:49,600 --> 00:08:52,100
Excusez-moi?
I am just eager to learn.
166
00:08:52,102 --> 00:08:53,162
Oui, oui?
167
00:08:53,163 --> 00:08:55,243
(GASPS) Toilet talk?
That's it.
168
00:08:55,235 --> 00:08:56,535
Corner, now.
169
00:08:58,038 --> 00:09:01,168
What? Zuri's been
a perfect angel all day!
That's not fair.
170
00:09:01,171 --> 00:09:03,771
Oh, and now it's you
who's being disruptive.
171
00:09:03,774 --> 00:09:06,554
Jessie Prescott,
you're on the Naughty Board.
172
00:09:06,546 --> 00:09:09,876
(GASPS) But... No, wait.
I've never had my name
on the Naughty Board!
173
00:09:09,880 --> 00:09:11,580
All of my teachers loved me.
174
00:09:11,582 --> 00:09:13,182
Well, then you must
have been home schooled.
175
00:09:13,183 --> 00:09:14,633
(GASPS)
176
00:09:14,625 --> 00:09:17,055
You! Corner! Now!
177
00:09:17,057 --> 00:09:18,627
But nobody puts
Jessie in the corner!
178
00:09:18,629 --> 00:09:19,829
Oh. (CHUCKLES)
Except you.
179
00:09:24,094 --> 00:09:26,274
LUKE: I can't believe
you cleaned my room.
180
00:09:27,668 --> 00:09:29,168
Oh, now what
are you doing?
181
00:09:29,169 --> 00:09:33,069
Burning sage rids the room
of negative energy.
182
00:09:33,073 --> 00:09:35,713
And hopefully,
that lingering
armpit smell.
183
00:09:37,878 --> 00:09:40,178
Uh, hello?
That is my manly musk.
184
00:09:41,652 --> 00:09:43,652
More like boyish B.O.
185
00:09:45,956 --> 00:09:47,056
(SIGHS)
186
00:09:50,590 --> 00:09:52,060
(CHANTING LOUDLY) Om.
187
00:09:53,764 --> 00:09:55,134
Om.
188
00:09:56,266 --> 00:09:57,726
(CHANTING) Um...
189
00:09:57,728 --> 00:09:59,668
Do you mind?
190
00:10:01,101 --> 00:10:02,801
I'm trying
to read pictures.
191
00:10:04,374 --> 00:10:06,284
Can't you just make up
with Mrs. Kipling?
192
00:10:06,276 --> 00:10:07,776
(CHANTS) No.
193
00:10:09,680 --> 00:10:12,140
RAVI: No.
194
00:10:12,142 --> 00:10:14,612
Oh, great.
Now I lost my place.
195
00:10:16,086 --> 00:10:17,286
(ALARM RINGS)
196
00:10:17,818 --> 00:10:18,948
Ah.
197
00:10:18,949 --> 00:10:20,649
(GROWLS)
198
00:10:20,651 --> 00:10:23,891
Now see, Mrs. K.
Isn't this more fun than
hanging out with my shoes?
199
00:10:24,925 --> 00:10:26,955
(SCOFFS) What am I saying?
200
00:10:26,957 --> 00:10:29,297
Nothing is more fun
than hanging out with
my shoes. (CHUCKLES)
201
00:10:30,701 --> 00:10:31,701
(GROWLS)
202
00:10:31,702 --> 00:10:35,172
I know! This pink nail
color is supes cute!
203
00:10:35,165 --> 00:10:37,805
I'd lend it to you,
but that would be crazy.
204
00:10:37,808 --> 00:10:39,138
Because you're an autumn.
205
00:10:41,041 --> 00:10:42,911
Well, I really should go
do some homework.
206
00:10:45,746 --> 00:10:47,816
Ooh, you're right!
207
00:10:47,818 --> 00:10:51,018
An animal print belt
would look great
with this robe.
208
00:10:51,021 --> 00:10:54,121
Okay, I guess we can
go shopping again.
209
00:10:54,124 --> 00:10:57,794
But, only if you
promise not to eat
any more mannequins.
210
00:10:57,788 --> 00:10:58,828
(GROWLS)
211
00:11:02,192 --> 00:11:04,702
So class,
your science project
this afternoon
212
00:11:04,695 --> 00:11:08,095
will be to prove that
the Little Engine
actually couldn't.
213
00:11:08,098 --> 00:11:09,898
(SCHOOL BELL RINGS)
214
00:11:09,900 --> 00:11:11,070
Lunch!
215
00:11:13,844 --> 00:11:16,054
Jessie, run!
Save yourself!
216
00:11:16,046 --> 00:11:18,446
No! I'm going
to make her like me,
217
00:11:18,448 --> 00:11:21,448
uh, for your sake,
of course.
218
00:11:21,451 --> 00:11:23,811
I trust you've finished
your sentences?
219
00:11:23,814 --> 00:11:26,424
Yes. I wrote "Teacher's aides
should be seen, and not heard"
220
00:11:26,416 --> 00:11:28,456
500 times.
221
00:11:28,458 --> 00:11:31,988
Oh. Even my third-graders
know how to make
a cursive "B."
222
00:11:36,466 --> 00:11:38,696
Hey, why don't
I sweep your classroom?
223
00:11:38,698 --> 00:11:41,698
Put that down!
That's not a broom,
224
00:11:41,701 --> 00:11:43,771
that's my Firebolt
of victory!
225
00:11:44,935 --> 00:11:47,735
And this is
my Dustpan of Doom!
226
00:11:47,738 --> 00:11:49,378
I'm sorry, I don't know
what we're talking about.
227
00:11:51,211 --> 00:11:53,441
I play Muggle Quidditch.
228
00:11:53,443 --> 00:11:57,253
Oh! Oh, right, right.
Firebolt, yeah.
229
00:11:57,247 --> 00:12:01,017
It's been a while
since I hopped on one
of these bad boys.
230
00:12:01,021 --> 00:12:02,491
You... You play?
231
00:12:02,492 --> 00:12:06,732
Uh, yeah. Didn't Zuri tell you
I love Mug Quib... (STAMMERS)
232
00:12:06,726 --> 00:12:08,996
...what you said.
233
00:12:08,999 --> 00:12:11,359
Did you know? I used
to be on an official team,
234
00:12:11,361 --> 00:12:14,731
till everyone started leaving
to play Vampire Baseball.
235
00:12:14,734 --> 00:12:16,314
Don't you hate it
236
00:12:16,306 --> 00:12:18,736
when people don't stay
loyal to their young adult
fantasy sports genre?
237
00:12:18,738 --> 00:12:20,868
Uh...
238
00:12:20,871 --> 00:12:24,311
Uh, It's only my
number one pet peeve!
(CHUCKLES)
239
00:12:24,314 --> 00:12:26,124
To tell you
the truth...
Mmm-hmm.
240
00:12:26,116 --> 00:12:29,376
...ever since the Long Island
Longbottoms disbanded,
241
00:12:29,379 --> 00:12:31,749
I've been in a bit
of a bad mood.
242
00:12:33,153 --> 00:12:34,353
Really?
243
00:12:34,354 --> 00:12:36,164
Yeah, I don't think
anyone noticed.
244
00:12:37,357 --> 00:12:38,927
Hey!
Mmm-hmm.
245
00:12:38,929 --> 00:12:41,129
Would you want to play
Quidditch in the park
this weekend?
246
00:12:41,131 --> 00:12:43,891
Uh, man, I would love to.
247
00:12:43,894 --> 00:12:47,844
But, you know,
I have all these
sentences to rewrite.
248
00:12:47,838 --> 00:12:49,868
Sigh.
Oh, forget
about those!
249
00:12:50,901 --> 00:12:52,271
So, I'll see you Saturday?
250
00:12:52,272 --> 00:12:55,082
(CHUCKLES)
Last one there is
a blatching Slytherin!
251
00:12:55,075 --> 00:12:56,975
What? Then I'd better
leave now! (CHUCKLES)
252
00:13:01,351 --> 00:13:03,311
So, you got to help me
get Ravi out of my room!
253
00:13:03,313 --> 00:13:05,093
He won't stop cleaning!
254
00:13:05,085 --> 00:13:07,985
Give him a few years.
He'll give up, like I did.
255
00:13:09,459 --> 00:13:12,559
And Mrs. Kipling
is driving me crazy!
256
00:13:12,562 --> 00:13:14,832
I had to spend all day
with her in the makeup
department,
257
00:13:14,825 --> 00:13:18,925
and it's official.
There's no way to match
her scale tone!
258
00:13:18,929 --> 00:13:21,869
We've got to find a way
to get those two crazy kids
back together,
259
00:13:21,872 --> 00:13:24,102
before Ravi makes me
look at paint swatches.
260
00:13:24,104 --> 00:13:25,884
I don't even know
what a swatch is,
261
00:13:25,876 --> 00:13:27,876
and I'd like
to keep it that way!
262
00:13:28,979 --> 00:13:30,539
Come on,
please help us!
263
00:13:30,540 --> 00:13:33,110
Fine. But, what's
in it for me?
264
00:13:39,489 --> 00:13:41,489
A gazillion is not
a real number.
265
00:13:46,096 --> 00:13:48,856
Hey, Zuri. Can we talk
about Ms. Falkenberg?
266
00:13:48,859 --> 00:13:51,029
Yeah. I don't know
what you said to her,
267
00:13:51,031 --> 00:13:54,061
but she was in the best
mood all afternoon.
268
00:13:54,064 --> 00:13:57,244
Our only homework
is to watch TV.
(CHUCKLES)
269
00:13:57,237 --> 00:14:00,067
Which, ironically,
makes me not
want to do it.
270
00:14:02,012 --> 00:14:04,142
Yeah. She's been
texting me a lot.
271
00:14:04,144 --> 00:14:07,184
I wanted to get her
to like me, but I think
I may have overdone it.
272
00:14:07,177 --> 00:14:10,577
Don't panic.
Even if she is
a level five clinger,
273
00:14:10,580 --> 00:14:12,520
it's not like she
knows where we live.
274
00:14:12,522 --> 00:14:13,622
(ELEVATOR DINGS)
275
00:14:13,623 --> 00:14:15,233
I found you.
276
00:14:16,957 --> 00:14:20,127
Uh-oh. She might
be a level six.
277
00:14:20,130 --> 00:14:22,990
(CHUCKLES NERVOUSLY)
How did you get
our address?
278
00:14:22,993 --> 00:14:25,003
Confidential school
records, silly!
279
00:14:24,995 --> 00:14:26,235
(CHUCKLES)
280
00:14:26,236 --> 00:14:28,336
Apparently
not so confidential.
281
00:14:28,338 --> 00:14:30,868
Hey, I thought we could
go over some team plays,
282
00:14:30,870 --> 00:14:33,340
so we can dive
right in at Quidditch
practice tomorrow.
283
00:14:33,343 --> 00:14:35,413
Ah.
Hey, star student.
284
00:14:35,405 --> 00:14:37,105
And why aren't
you watching TV?
285
00:14:37,107 --> 00:14:39,377
Oh, all right.
(CHUCKLES)
286
00:14:40,110 --> 00:14:41,910
Scamp.
287
00:14:41,912 --> 00:14:46,062
Ms. Falkenberg,
this really isn't
a good time.
288
00:14:46,056 --> 00:14:47,916
I'm so sorry.
289
00:14:47,918 --> 00:14:51,618
I guess I'm just so glad
that I finally found
friend who gets me.
290
00:14:52,993 --> 00:14:54,263
Hey!
Hey.
291
00:14:54,264 --> 00:14:56,104
Do you want to go
to dinner before
practice tomorrow?
292
00:14:56,096 --> 00:14:57,966
Oh... Oh, I would love to,
293
00:14:57,968 --> 00:15:00,568
I don't like to eat
before a big game.
294
00:15:00,570 --> 00:15:02,230
Oh, that's right.
That's right.
295
00:15:02,232 --> 00:15:03,602
We'll go after.
Okay.
296
00:15:03,603 --> 00:15:05,113
(CHUCKLES)
All right.
297
00:15:05,105 --> 00:15:07,335
Well, see you
tomorrow, bestie!
(CHUCKLES)
298
00:15:07,337 --> 00:15:09,637
Hey, and don't forget to
study those plays tonight.
299
00:15:09,639 --> 00:15:10,909
Try and stop me.
300
00:15:13,043 --> 00:15:15,123
This is working
out great!
301
00:15:15,115 --> 00:15:16,945
Uh, for you!
302
00:15:16,947 --> 00:15:18,087
Ms. Falkenberg and I
don't have anything
in common.
303
00:15:18,088 --> 00:15:19,918
You have me in common.
304
00:15:19,919 --> 00:15:22,519
And if you want
me to keep being
a "star student,"
305
00:15:22,522 --> 00:15:26,302
you're going to jump
on that broom tomorrow
and work it like a Pureblood.
306
00:15:35,235 --> 00:15:37,505
Hey, friend!
Hey, friend.
307
00:15:37,507 --> 00:15:41,937
Quick question.
Why does my cape
say "Furtenfurter?"
308
00:15:41,941 --> 00:15:44,371
Oh, I thought
you said that was
your Quidditch name?
309
00:15:44,374 --> 00:15:47,354
No, that was a sneeze.
Oh.
310
00:15:47,347 --> 00:15:50,047
Hey, where are
your other friends?
Oh. What other friends?
311
00:15:50,050 --> 00:15:51,650
Oh.
(IN DEEP VOICE) Oh.
312
00:15:53,984 --> 00:15:57,234
Here. Sorry, you have
to practice with my old
Cleansweep Eleven.
313
00:15:57,227 --> 00:16:01,127
But who knows maybe
one day you'll work your way
up to one of these babies.
314
00:16:01,131 --> 00:16:02,191
(CHUCKLES)
315
00:16:02,192 --> 00:16:03,962
A girl can dream.
(CHUCKLES)
316
00:16:05,135 --> 00:16:07,435
Okay. Now,
remember the rules.
317
00:16:07,437 --> 00:16:11,737
No blagging, blurting,
blatching, haversacking,
or quaffle-pocking.
318
00:16:12,372 --> 00:16:14,172
Obviously.
319
00:16:14,174 --> 00:16:16,654
But if you could
just refresh my...
Brooms up!
320
00:16:16,646 --> 00:16:18,006
Uh, okay.
321
00:16:18,008 --> 00:16:19,208
Ow!
322
00:16:19,209 --> 00:16:23,409
Ow! Foul! I think
I've just been blag-boozled
or something!
323
00:16:23,413 --> 00:16:25,123
That was not a foul!
324
00:16:25,115 --> 00:16:27,555
Beaters throw Bludgers
at Chasers to make them
drop Quaffles.
325
00:16:27,557 --> 00:16:30,387
That's only Quidditch 101.
326
00:16:30,390 --> 00:16:34,060
Yeah, yeah. Can...
Can we go back to
Quidditch 911?
327
00:16:34,064 --> 00:16:35,774
I think I broke
my furtenfurter.
328
00:16:37,167 --> 00:16:39,197
You know what?
You seem a little rusty.
329
00:16:39,199 --> 00:16:42,129
Hey, why don't you try
playing the Golden Snitch?
330
00:16:42,132 --> 00:16:44,302
(SIGHS) Does that
mean I get to
change clothes?
331
00:16:49,209 --> 00:16:50,409
There, Perfect.
332
00:16:52,412 --> 00:16:55,092
Yeah, this just makes
the whole thing work.
333
00:16:57,047 --> 00:16:59,717
You know what?
I don't want to
talk about it.
334
00:16:59,719 --> 00:17:02,019
Brooms up!
Well, I don't
have a broom.
335
00:17:02,021 --> 00:17:03,121
(YELLS)
336
00:17:04,124 --> 00:17:06,034
I snatched the Snitch!
337
00:17:08,698 --> 00:17:10,758
I can't believe
they let children
play Quidditch.
338
00:17:10,760 --> 00:17:13,130
Is Professor Dumbledore
aware of how dangerous
it is?
339
00:17:14,404 --> 00:17:16,514
You just have
to last until June.
340
00:17:16,506 --> 00:17:20,036
Hopefully my next teacher
will be into something safer,
341
00:17:20,039 --> 00:17:21,339
like cliff diving.
342
00:17:23,113 --> 00:17:24,243
Zuri.
343
00:17:25,575 --> 00:17:27,515
I can't keep being
Ms. Falkenberg's friend.
344
00:17:27,517 --> 00:17:29,147
What? Why not?
345
00:17:29,149 --> 00:17:32,379
Uh, maybe because
she makes me ride
a broom in public,
346
00:17:32,382 --> 00:17:35,232
and yell things like,
"For the glory
of Hufflepuff!"
347
00:17:36,456 --> 00:17:39,526
But Jessie, you saw
what she was like before.
348
00:17:39,529 --> 00:17:41,129
If you break up with her,
349
00:17:41,131 --> 00:17:44,191
I'll have to go back
to slumming it
in the corner,
350
00:17:44,194 --> 00:17:46,544
which is really close
to Gassy Gus!
351
00:17:46,536 --> 00:17:50,266
What is that kid eating?
352
00:17:50,270 --> 00:17:52,600
Look, I just feel
bad about lying
to Ms. Falkenberg.
353
00:17:52,602 --> 00:17:54,602
She's actually
a nice person,
354
00:17:54,604 --> 00:17:58,154
and she deserves a real
best friend who genuinely
shares her interests.
355
00:17:58,148 --> 00:17:59,308
Yeah, yeah.
356
00:17:59,309 --> 00:18:01,679
Can't you just learn
to like Quidditch?
357
00:18:01,681 --> 00:18:03,281
Can't you just learn
to like vegetables?
358
00:18:03,283 --> 00:18:04,683
I see your point.
359
00:18:07,517 --> 00:18:09,317
I got your text, roomie.
360
00:18:09,319 --> 00:18:11,819
Did you not understand
the vacuuming schedule?
361
00:18:13,863 --> 00:18:16,633
Mrs. Kipling.
Come on!
362
00:18:16,626 --> 00:18:18,266
(GRUNTS)
Get out here.
363
00:18:18,268 --> 00:18:20,568
What are you
people doing?
364
00:18:20,570 --> 00:18:23,630
I told you, Mrs. Kipling
and I are not talking!
365
00:18:23,633 --> 00:18:26,843
You're not leaving
this room until you talk
through your problems.
366
00:18:26,836 --> 00:18:28,236
(GROWLS)
367
00:18:28,238 --> 00:18:31,238
There is nothing
to talk about.
368
00:18:31,241 --> 00:18:33,511
Mrs. Kipling
and I have just...
369
00:18:33,513 --> 00:18:36,753
Just grown apart.
It is over.
370
00:18:36,746 --> 00:18:39,416
Well, maybe you
dodged a bullet, Ravi.
371
00:18:39,419 --> 00:18:42,319
Mrs. Kipling is pretty
needy and clingy.
372
00:18:42,322 --> 00:18:44,552
Yeah, I don't know
how you put up
with her for so long.
373
00:18:44,554 --> 00:18:47,434
Me neither,
it's always
all about her.
374
00:18:47,427 --> 00:18:50,257
"I need a walk,
I want my claws filed,
375
00:18:50,260 --> 00:18:52,430
"I ordered this rat
medium rare."
376
00:18:52,432 --> 00:18:54,632
She is a terrible friend.
377
00:18:54,634 --> 00:18:56,874
Now just hold on a moment.
378
00:18:56,866 --> 00:19:00,136
Mrs. K has not
been a bad friend.
379
00:19:00,139 --> 00:19:03,239
She has just been
a little down
in the swamps lately.
380
00:19:03,243 --> 00:19:06,153
A little? I asked her
to quit being such a diva,
381
00:19:06,145 --> 00:19:08,675
and she almost bit
my head off, literally!
382
00:19:09,779 --> 00:19:12,619
Yeah, you don't need
to defend her, Ravi.
383
00:19:12,622 --> 00:19:14,222
Lizards be crazy.
384
00:19:16,556 --> 00:19:18,556
Enough!
385
00:19:18,558 --> 00:19:21,658
Mrs. Kipling is the most
loyal, funny, supportive
best friend
386
00:19:21,661 --> 00:19:24,461
there has ever been!
(SIGHS)
387
00:19:24,464 --> 00:19:27,304
Come on, Mrs. K,
we are going home!
388
00:19:31,801 --> 00:19:33,171
ALL: Yes!
389
00:19:33,172 --> 00:19:34,602
(ALL CHUCKLING)
390
00:19:34,604 --> 00:19:36,254
Nice.
It worked!
391
00:19:36,246 --> 00:19:40,246
Bertram, you actually
had a good idea!
392
00:19:40,250 --> 00:19:44,280
And after that rutabaga
casserole, you really
needed a win.
393
00:19:44,284 --> 00:19:47,694
Well, I felt appreciated
for almost five seconds.
Thanks for that.
394
00:19:49,259 --> 00:19:54,319
BTW, Mrs. Kipling
and I just figured out
what happened in here.
395
00:19:54,324 --> 00:19:55,834
(GROWLS)
396
00:19:55,825 --> 00:19:57,425
And we love you for it!
397
00:19:59,969 --> 00:20:01,599
(SCHOOL BELL RINGING)
398
00:20:01,601 --> 00:20:04,271
Okay, everybody.
Do your homework
if you feel like it!
399
00:20:04,274 --> 00:20:05,844
Okay, no pressure.
400
00:20:07,677 --> 00:20:09,807
Sorry, sorry. Okay.
401
00:20:09,809 --> 00:20:11,439
Hey, friend.
402
00:20:12,642 --> 00:20:15,212
Okay. I'm ready
for practice.
403
00:20:15,214 --> 00:20:17,654
And I know I broke
your Cleansweep Eleven,
so I hope it's okay
404
00:20:17,647 --> 00:20:20,487
that I brought this
Schmutz Buster 5000.
405
00:20:20,490 --> 00:20:23,550
Yeah, um,
about that, uh...
406
00:20:23,553 --> 00:20:26,303
I don't need you
to come to practice today.
407
00:20:26,296 --> 00:20:29,256
But, why? Is my broom grip
not as bad as we thought?
408
00:20:29,259 --> 00:20:32,329
(CHUCKLES)
No, it is.
Okay.
409
00:20:32,332 --> 00:20:35,342
I'm gonna practice
with Mr. Itzel today.
410
00:20:35,335 --> 00:20:37,405
Mr. Itzel?
The librarian?
411
00:20:37,407 --> 00:20:39,267
Yes. Can you believe
he was a Beater
412
00:20:39,269 --> 00:20:41,539
for the Central Park
Centaurs! How hot is that?
413
00:20:43,643 --> 00:20:46,453
I'm tingling, but...
(STAMMERING)
414
00:20:46,446 --> 00:20:50,346
Honey, no offense,
but, come on,
you're a rotten Chaser,
415
00:20:50,350 --> 00:20:52,450
a horrible Keeper,
416
00:20:52,452 --> 00:20:55,432
and just a few Horcruxes
short of a soul. If you
know what I mean.
417
00:20:55,425 --> 00:20:56,685
I do not.
418
00:20:58,358 --> 00:21:00,388
And I thought I made
a really good Snootch.
419
00:21:04,664 --> 00:21:05,944
Brooms up!
420
00:21:06,896 --> 00:21:08,266
(CHUCKLES)
421
00:21:11,701 --> 00:21:13,901
I can't believe
Ms. Falkenberg
dumped me!
422
00:21:13,903 --> 00:21:15,653
For someone who sunburns
in fluorescent lighting.
423
00:21:16,546 --> 00:21:18,746
I can. I set them up.
424
00:21:18,748 --> 00:21:20,608
You did? Why?
425
00:21:20,610 --> 00:21:22,710
Well, I thought
about how you said
426
00:21:22,712 --> 00:21:25,522
Ms. Falkenberg
deserved a real
best friend.
427
00:21:25,515 --> 00:21:29,285
And when I saw
how unhappy Ravi was
without his best friend,
428
00:21:29,288 --> 00:21:33,358
I knew I had to
find Ms. Falkenberg
her Mrs. Kipling.
429
00:21:33,363 --> 00:21:36,603
Oh. But how did
you know Mr. Itzel
would be a perfect match?
430
00:21:36,596 --> 00:21:39,726
He wears little
round glasses,
an owl sweater,
431
00:21:39,729 --> 00:21:43,469
and calls his minivan
the Hogwarts Express.
432
00:21:43,473 --> 00:21:44,933
I took a wild guess.
433
00:21:46,676 --> 00:21:48,676
Oh, that was very
sweet of you, Zuri.
434
00:21:48,678 --> 00:21:51,808
You're not really upset
that you got dumped,
are you?
435
00:21:51,811 --> 00:21:53,481
Nah. Nah.
436
00:21:53,483 --> 00:21:56,693
At least this break-up
didn't involve my birthday
and a jumbotron.
437
00:21:58,017 --> 00:21:59,717
She'll miss me.
438
00:21:59,719 --> 00:22:01,489
They always miss me.
439
00:22:08,528 --> 00:22:10,628
What happened in here?
440
00:22:10,630 --> 00:22:12,500
Surprise!
441
00:22:12,502 --> 00:22:15,672
I wanted to thank you
for letting me crash
at your bachelor pad.
442
00:22:15,665 --> 00:22:17,405
So let me get this straight.
443
00:22:17,407 --> 00:22:19,807
You and Mrs. Kipling
waited for me to leave
the apartment,
444
00:22:19,809 --> 00:22:23,369
then came back in here
and trashed my room
to thank me?
445
00:22:23,373 --> 00:22:24,373
That is correct.
446
00:22:25,815 --> 00:22:28,515
Dude, you are
the best brother ever!
447
00:22:28,518 --> 00:22:29,678
I know, right?
448
00:22:29,679 --> 00:22:32,779
Maybe the three of us
should room together!
449
00:22:32,782 --> 00:22:34,052
Get out.
33845
Can't find what you're looking for?
Get subtitles in any language from opensubtitles.com, and translate them here.
Afrikaans
Albanian
Amharic
Arabic
Armenian
Azerbaijani
Basque
Belarusian
Bengali
Bosnian
Bulgarian
Catalan
Cebuano
Chichewa
Chinese (Simplified)
Chinese (Traditional)
Corsican
Croatian
Czech
Danish
English
Esperanto
Estonian
Finnish
French
Frisian
Galician
Georgian
German
Greek
Gujarati
Haitian Creole
Hawaiian
Hungarian
Icelandic
Indonesian
Irish
Italian
Japanese
Kazakh
Khmer
Korean
Kurdish (Kurmanji)
Kyrgyz
Lao
Latvian
Lithuanian
Luxembourgish
Macedonian
Malagasy
Malay
Maltese
Maori
Mongolian
Myanmar (Burmese)
Nepali
Norwegian
Pashto
Polish
Portuguese
Romanian
Russian
Samoan
Serbian
Sesotho
Shona
Sinhala
Slovak
Slovenian
Somali
Spanish
Swahili
Swedish
Tajik
Thai
Turkish
Ukrainian
Urdu
Uzbek
Vietnamese
