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1
00:00:07,678 --> 00:00:09,278
Bertram,
you look so happy.
2
00:00:09,280 --> 00:00:12,010
Did your cheese of
the week come in?
3
00:00:12,012 --> 00:00:14,392
Better. It's the day
I've waited for
since summer began.
4
00:00:14,385 --> 00:00:16,285
The end of summer!
5
00:00:18,589 --> 00:00:20,249
Try to contain
yourself, Bertram.
6
00:00:20,251 --> 00:00:22,751
You're drooling
in our eggs.
7
00:00:22,753 --> 00:00:29,233
My plan for this year is
to reduce my wedgie ratio
to one per fortnight.
8
00:00:29,230 --> 00:00:31,200
Yeah, if you
keep using words
like "fortnight,"
9
00:00:31,202 --> 00:00:35,442
it's going to be a long,
wedgie-rific year.
10
00:00:35,436 --> 00:00:38,766
I just hope I don't
have to sit next to
Gross Gus again.
11
00:00:38,769 --> 00:00:40,769
He's always shoving
stuff up his nose!
12
00:00:42,413 --> 00:00:45,783
He claims he doesn't know
what happened to my crayon,
13
00:00:45,776 --> 00:00:47,416
but how does he explain
that magenta snot?
14
00:00:50,351 --> 00:00:52,321
Oh, my!
Look at the time.
15
00:00:52,323 --> 00:00:54,393
You don't want to be tardy
on your first day back!
16
00:00:54,385 --> 00:00:55,655
But I'm still eating!
17
00:00:55,656 --> 00:00:58,126
Wait, wait, wait,
wait, wait, wait!
18
00:01:01,292 --> 00:01:02,432
Come on, come on,
come on, come on, come on!
19
00:01:02,433 --> 00:01:04,143
We're gonna be late.
20
00:01:04,135 --> 00:01:05,495
Let's go.
There you are!
Thank you!
21
00:01:05,496 --> 00:01:06,796
Love you!
Thank you!
22
00:01:06,797 --> 00:01:08,497
Have a good day!
Thank you.
23
00:01:08,499 --> 00:01:09,339
All right, be good!
Okay, and then...
Thanks, Jessie.
24
00:01:13,073 --> 00:01:15,353
Bye, you guys.
I miss you already.
ALL: Bye!
25
00:01:15,346 --> 00:01:16,446
Bye, Jessie.
Bye, Bertram.
26
00:01:16,447 --> 00:01:17,677
(SOBBING)
27
00:01:20,351 --> 00:01:22,551
I can't believe
you're sad
to see them go.
28
00:01:22,553 --> 00:01:24,363
I'm not sad.
These are tears of joy!
29
00:01:26,487 --> 00:01:28,787
This has been
the longest summer
of my life!
30
00:01:28,789 --> 00:01:33,389
Jessie, I'm shocked.
I never thought we'd have
something in common.
31
00:01:33,394 --> 00:01:36,304
I mean, besides the
oversized feet and
secret love of boy bands.
32
00:01:37,628 --> 00:01:40,198
We're finally free!
Ha-ha-ha-ha!
33
00:01:40,201 --> 00:01:41,531
Yeah!
34
00:01:43,474 --> 00:01:45,384
Whoo!
Oh!
35
00:01:46,137 --> 00:01:47,107
Told you.
36
00:01:47,107 --> 00:01:48,637
That's just cold.
37
00:01:52,283 --> 00:01:55,393
(BOTH HUMMING)
38
00:01:55,386 --> 00:01:57,416
♪ Oh, oh, oh, oh
Oh, oh, oh, oh
39
00:01:57,418 --> 00:02:01,818
♪ Hey Jessie, hey Jessie
40
00:02:01,822 --> 00:02:05,502
♪ It feels like a party
every day
41
00:02:05,496 --> 00:02:08,396
♪ Hey Jessie, hey Jessie
42
00:02:08,399 --> 00:02:12,659
♪ But they keep on pulling
me every which way
43
00:02:12,663 --> 00:02:15,343
♪ Hey Jessie, hey Jessie
44
00:02:15,336 --> 00:02:19,166
♪ My whole world is changing
Turning around
45
00:02:19,170 --> 00:02:23,610
♪ They got me going crazy
Yeah, they're shaking
the ground
46
00:02:23,614 --> 00:02:27,354
♪ But they took a chance
on the new girl in town
47
00:02:27,348 --> 00:02:30,548
♪ And I don't want
to let them
down, down, down
48
00:02:30,551 --> 00:02:31,681
♪ Hey Jessie
49
00:02:33,884 --> 00:02:34,634
♪ Hey Jessie
50
00:02:37,658 --> 00:02:41,458
♪ It feels like a party
every day
51
00:02:41,462 --> 00:02:45,302
♪ Hey, hey, hey,
hey, hey, Jessie ♪
52
00:02:52,343 --> 00:02:54,383
New girl alert!
53
00:02:54,375 --> 00:02:56,605
Yikes, that outfit
is puke-ular!
54
00:02:56,607 --> 00:02:58,207
(GIRLS LAUGH)
55
00:02:58,209 --> 00:02:59,379
What's with all the chains?
56
00:02:59,380 --> 00:03:01,380
Did you just escape
from fashion jail?
57
00:03:01,382 --> 00:03:02,582
(LAUGHING)
58
00:03:02,583 --> 00:03:03,913
What's with
all the make-up?
59
00:03:03,914 --> 00:03:06,264
Did you just escape
from clown college?
60
00:03:08,319 --> 00:03:09,389
(BELL RINGING)
61
00:03:09,390 --> 00:03:11,960
Ooh, I like your chains!
62
00:03:11,962 --> 00:03:14,632
Totally worth the
half-hour backup
at the metal detector.
63
00:03:16,797 --> 00:03:20,397
I'm Ms. Devlin, welcome to
high school art, everyone.
64
00:03:20,401 --> 00:03:23,471
I look at all of your
enthusiastic faces
65
00:03:23,474 --> 00:03:28,284
and I think to myself,
"I hate my life.
66
00:03:29,940 --> 00:03:33,410
"If only my art career
had taken off."
67
00:03:33,414 --> 00:03:37,494
With that said,
let's have some fun!
68
00:03:37,488 --> 00:03:39,548
You have 30 seconds
to create a drawing
69
00:03:39,550 --> 00:03:41,220
that tells me
who you really are.
70
00:03:41,221 --> 00:03:42,491
Show me your essence!
71
00:03:44,555 --> 00:03:45,995
I'm Emma.
72
00:03:45,996 --> 00:03:47,496
So, where are you from?
73
00:03:47,498 --> 00:03:50,458
Well, you go to
Fifth Avenue,
74
00:03:50,461 --> 00:03:54,511
and keep walking north
until you realize
your purse is missing.
75
00:03:54,505 --> 00:03:58,335
Luckily if you're on
Fifth Avenue, you can
just buy another one!
76
00:03:58,339 --> 00:04:01,509
Sounds like there's more
talking than soul searching
going on over here.
77
00:04:01,512 --> 00:04:04,422
And if I cared enough,
you'd both be in trouble.
78
00:04:05,416 --> 00:04:07,746
Rosie, let's see your work.
79
00:04:07,748 --> 00:04:11,018
It's a skull and crossbones
over a dollar sign.
80
00:04:11,021 --> 00:04:14,991
It represents my wish
for the death of capitalism
and corporate greed!
81
00:04:16,727 --> 00:04:17,757
Bummer.
82
00:04:19,830 --> 00:04:21,590
Emma, what does your
essence look like?
83
00:04:22,833 --> 00:04:24,403
A smiley daisy!
84
00:04:26,266 --> 00:04:30,566
Wow. You are about
as deep as a kiddie pool.
85
00:04:30,571 --> 00:04:33,741
Stop. You're making
my daisy sad.
86
00:04:33,744 --> 00:04:38,814
Okay, class, working with
your desk partner,
87
00:04:38,809 --> 00:04:43,279
our first big project
will be to create
an artistic statement
88
00:04:45,856 --> 00:04:48,686
about what you feel
is wrong with the world.
89
00:04:48,689 --> 00:04:52,489
So, Rosie, you want
to work at my place?
90
00:04:52,493 --> 00:04:54,603
I'd go to yours, but
I kind of like this purse.
91
00:04:59,430 --> 00:05:03,000
(GASPS)
Kenny the Koala?
92
00:05:03,003 --> 00:05:05,313
First day jitters, brother?
93
00:05:05,305 --> 00:05:08,835
No! Jessie must have
accidentally shoved him
in with all my stuff!
94
00:05:08,839 --> 00:05:10,539
Whatever you have
to tell yourself, bro.
95
00:05:14,915 --> 00:05:17,845
Hey, Little Lukey,
96
00:05:17,848 --> 00:05:19,788
you bring
your teddy bear
to school today?
97
00:05:19,790 --> 00:05:21,390
Oh, Kenny?
98
00:05:21,392 --> 00:05:22,692
I mean,
this random bear
99
00:05:22,693 --> 00:05:25,103
I never saw before
in my life?
100
00:05:25,095 --> 00:05:26,355
(WHISPERING)
I'm sorry,
just go with it.
101
00:05:27,828 --> 00:05:30,528
Really? Then whose
teddy-weddy is he?
102
00:05:33,904 --> 00:05:35,814
Kenny is my teddy-weddy!
103
00:05:35,806 --> 00:05:37,906
Or to be more precise,
my koala-walla.
104
00:05:39,109 --> 00:05:40,569
(BELL RINGING)
105
00:05:40,571 --> 00:05:42,411
We got ourselves
a bear-lover, boys!
106
00:05:47,578 --> 00:05:49,848
Oh, thanks, Ravi!
107
00:05:49,850 --> 00:05:53,020
I can't believe
you took a bear for me!
108
00:05:53,023 --> 00:05:55,433
Well, you are my brother
109
00:05:55,426 --> 00:05:57,456
and you have your
reputation to uphold
as big man on campus.
110
00:05:57,458 --> 00:06:00,658
Whereas I am
barely a man on campus.
111
00:06:02,933 --> 00:06:04,543
JESSIE: Hey, Zuri,
welcome home.
112
00:06:04,535 --> 00:06:06,395
How was your
first day of school?
113
00:06:06,397 --> 00:06:09,537
Horrible!
I got homework!
114
00:06:09,540 --> 00:06:11,870
That I can't
do with crayons!
115
00:06:14,374 --> 00:06:18,514
It's downright un-American!
116
00:06:18,509 --> 00:06:21,079
Our Founding Fathers
built this country
117
00:06:21,081 --> 00:06:22,381
on the separation
of home and work.
118
00:06:23,914 --> 00:06:25,664
No, they didn't.
119
00:06:25,656 --> 00:06:27,156
And obviously, we should
start with history.
120
00:06:29,420 --> 00:06:31,990
I'm not interested
in anything
that happened B.Z.
121
00:06:31,992 --> 00:06:36,002
"Before Zuri."
122
00:06:35,996 --> 00:06:39,796
Who cares about a bunch
of old guys in wigs?
123
00:06:39,800 --> 00:06:43,700
Those "old guys"
had to combine
13 colonies into a country.
124
00:06:43,704 --> 00:06:45,884
You just have to combine
five vocab words
into a sentence.
125
00:06:47,478 --> 00:06:48,938
Any more arguments?
126
00:06:48,939 --> 00:06:51,079
Give me liberty
or give me death!
127
00:06:51,081 --> 00:06:54,591
Give me a break.
128
00:06:54,585 --> 00:06:58,545
Whoa! This room
is bigger than
my whole apartment!
129
00:06:58,549 --> 00:07:00,449
And I live with
my mom, dad, grandma,
130
00:07:00,451 --> 00:07:01,491
three brothers,
two sisters,
and four rats.
131
00:07:03,494 --> 00:07:06,564
Six, if it's really cold.
132
00:07:06,557 --> 00:07:09,457
We don't have any rats,
but we have a Bertram.
133
00:07:09,460 --> 00:07:11,700
He has beady eyes
and whiskers
and he loves cheese.
134
00:07:13,063 --> 00:07:15,573
Rosie's here
to work on a project.
135
00:07:15,566 --> 00:07:17,766
Rosie, this is Jessie,
my nanny.
136
00:07:17,768 --> 00:07:19,438
A nanny?
137
00:07:19,439 --> 00:07:23,709
And where do you
keep the footmen
and the stable boys?
138
00:07:23,714 --> 00:07:27,224
Emma, you haven't told her
about the country estate?
139
00:07:27,217 --> 00:07:29,677
Rosie, why don't you
go into the kitchen
and grab a snack?
140
00:07:29,680 --> 00:07:30,220
Make yourself
at home, bestie!
141
00:07:32,923 --> 00:07:33,953
She's the worstie!
142
00:07:35,656 --> 00:07:40,456
She's such a downer,
she organized
an anti-pep rally!
143
00:07:40,460 --> 00:07:42,460
She's ruining my entire
high school experience!
144
00:07:44,935 --> 00:07:47,635
Emma, it's only
been one day.
145
00:07:47,638 --> 00:07:50,168
You gave overalls
more of a chance.
146
00:07:50,170 --> 00:07:55,180
Unlike Rosie,
those overalls were
warm and forgiving.
147
00:07:55,175 --> 00:07:57,205
All right, listen, Emma,
I'm sure you can find
148
00:07:57,207 --> 00:07:59,477
something you have
in common with her.
149
00:07:59,479 --> 00:08:01,679
Part of growing up is
learning how to work
with difficult people.
150
00:08:01,682 --> 00:08:02,612
But Rosie is
really difficult!
(LAUGHING MANIACALLY)
151
00:08:08,058 --> 00:08:09,158
Trade ya.
152
00:08:11,562 --> 00:08:14,192
You must be the butler.
153
00:08:14,194 --> 00:08:15,534
And you must be a genius.
154
00:08:17,698 --> 00:08:20,068
So whatcha up to?
155
00:08:20,070 --> 00:08:21,500
Uh, certainly not
writing fan fiction
about Justin Bieber.
156
00:08:25,035 --> 00:08:27,735
So, I've always wondered,
157
00:08:27,738 --> 00:08:29,578
how does it feel
to spend every
158
00:08:29,580 --> 00:08:31,510
day slaving away
for the upper class?
159
00:08:31,511 --> 00:08:34,551
Oh! It's horrible.
160
00:08:34,545 --> 00:08:36,115
Can you pass me
the caviar?
161
00:08:36,116 --> 00:08:37,516
I think I'll eat it
in the sauna.
162
00:08:42,152 --> 00:08:44,602
Hey, Rosie.
Before we start,
163
00:08:44,595 --> 00:08:46,755
why don't we sit
at the table and have
a little chit-chat?
164
00:08:53,834 --> 00:08:56,774
So, what do you
like to do for fun?
165
00:08:56,767 --> 00:08:59,167
Stick it to the man.
166
00:08:59,169 --> 00:09:01,909
Okay.
167
00:09:01,912 --> 00:09:06,752
But do you ever, like,
play volleyball,
or go to the movies?
168
00:09:06,747 --> 00:09:11,077
Or, you know, not make
people uncomfortable?
169
00:09:11,081 --> 00:09:16,061
No. But I am setting up
a rally in Times Square
to protest deforestation.
170
00:09:16,056 --> 00:09:19,886
Speaking of deforestation,
have you ever thought of
plucking your eyebrows?
171
00:09:21,191 --> 00:09:23,931
No, I'm very happy
with the one I have.
172
00:09:25,796 --> 00:09:28,166
But my mom says
everyone loves a makeover.
173
00:09:28,168 --> 00:09:32,998
That's how she sold
enough beauty products to
pay for the new helipad.
174
00:09:33,003 --> 00:09:37,313
Listen, princess,
you and I will never have
anything in common.
175
00:09:37,307 --> 00:09:38,777
Let's talk tomorrow.
To get back to the Bronx,
176
00:09:38,779 --> 00:09:40,809
I have to take
three trains and a bus
177
00:09:40,811 --> 00:09:42,851
to where my aunt
picks me up
on her garbage truck.
178
00:09:44,685 --> 00:09:46,155
Wait!
179
00:09:46,156 --> 00:09:47,656
The Bronx is a real place?
180
00:09:49,660 --> 00:09:50,790
I thought
it was imaginary,
181
00:09:50,791 --> 00:09:52,961
like Narnia or
Staten Island.
182
00:09:54,695 --> 00:09:56,725
Zuri, you have to
do your homework,
183
00:09:56,727 --> 00:09:58,767
or you won't get
anywhere in life!
184
00:09:58,769 --> 00:09:59,629
Yeah, look where
doing homework
got you!
185
00:10:00,871 --> 00:10:03,771
Losing at tug-of-war
to an eight-year old!
186
00:10:03,774 --> 00:10:05,884
I'm not losing. Aah!
187
00:10:05,876 --> 00:10:06,676
(LAUGHS)
188
00:10:11,311 --> 00:10:15,021
Jessie, your advice stinks!
189
00:10:15,015 --> 00:10:17,085
I hate high school!
190
00:10:17,087 --> 00:10:21,747
I wish I could just
stay home and take it
easy all day like you.
191
00:10:21,752 --> 00:10:23,892
Yeah, try taking it easy
with a remote
lodged in your colon!
192
00:10:31,231 --> 00:10:33,801
You can come out now, Ravi.
193
00:10:33,804 --> 00:10:35,314
Today everyone
will have moved on to
teasing someone else.
194
00:10:38,268 --> 00:10:41,168
Eh, it is actually
quite homey in here.
195
00:10:41,171 --> 00:10:43,211
I even dug myself
a panic room.
196
00:10:44,314 --> 00:10:46,224
Which I will now utilize!
197
00:10:50,721 --> 00:10:53,321
Well, hey, Wittle Wavi.
198
00:10:53,323 --> 00:10:55,433
Where's your
teddy bear today?
199
00:10:55,425 --> 00:10:57,985
Did you drop him off
at day care
on the way to school?
200
00:10:57,988 --> 00:11:04,738
If I did, it would have been
the responsible thing to do
as a working parent.
201
00:11:04,735 --> 00:11:06,195
You're making this
way too easy.
202
00:11:06,196 --> 00:11:08,136
(WHISTLES)
203
00:11:14,374 --> 00:11:16,354
Oh!
204
00:11:16,346 --> 00:11:18,976
Oh, Ravi!
Are you okay?
205
00:11:18,979 --> 00:11:20,749
The joke is on them.
206
00:11:20,751 --> 00:11:22,311
Oh, they missed a spot.
207
00:11:27,788 --> 00:11:29,258
Oh, shame on you,
Mary-Beth!
208
00:11:29,259 --> 00:11:32,789
Hall monitors are supposed
to protect and serve!
209
00:11:35,826 --> 00:11:37,226
You know, Rosie,
I always suspected
210
00:11:37,227 --> 00:11:39,467
you got your clothes
from the trash.
211
00:11:39,469 --> 00:11:42,229
And here's the proof.
212
00:11:42,232 --> 00:11:44,202
At least I can
remember my name
213
00:11:44,204 --> 00:11:45,344
without reading my shirt.
214
00:11:47,277 --> 00:11:49,907
And for your information,
I'm wearing these soda rings
215
00:11:49,910 --> 00:11:52,040
to protest the damage
they can do
to the environment.
216
00:11:52,042 --> 00:11:53,742
They can suffocate birds.
217
00:11:53,744 --> 00:11:54,714
And in your case,
repel boys.
218
00:11:56,817 --> 00:11:58,747
(BELL RINGING)
219
00:11:59,719 --> 00:12:02,149
Oh, you all showed up.
220
00:12:04,755 --> 00:12:07,195
Uh, well, in that case,
221
00:12:07,197 --> 00:12:09,897
uh, you should keep
working on your projects.
222
00:12:12,002 --> 00:12:15,212
Maybe someday
you'll be as successful
as Bobo the chimp.
223
00:12:16,466 --> 00:12:18,766
His finger paintings
edged out my landscapes
224
00:12:18,769 --> 00:12:21,769
for a spot at
The Guggenheim.
225
00:12:21,772 --> 00:12:24,372
I really hate that monkey!
226
00:12:26,016 --> 00:12:28,076
I think Ms. Devlin
could use some bran.
227
00:12:29,820 --> 00:12:32,220
So, would you mind
if I maybe
228
00:12:32,222 --> 00:12:34,152
recorded our
brainstorming sessions?
229
00:12:34,154 --> 00:12:36,234
I would never want
to miss any of your
super-smart ideas.
230
00:12:36,226 --> 00:12:39,086
Sure!
231
00:12:39,089 --> 00:12:40,489
And I had an
awesome idea
for the project.
232
00:12:40,490 --> 00:12:42,290
But in order to
make it work,
233
00:12:42,292 --> 00:12:44,762
you would
have to dress up
like a beautiful doll.
234
00:12:44,764 --> 00:12:48,274
(GASPS) I can do that!
I love fashion!
235
00:12:48,268 --> 00:12:51,398
Um, but is it all right
if I pick out my own outfit?
236
00:12:51,401 --> 00:12:52,241
Not that I don't love...
237
00:12:52,803 --> 00:12:54,343
That.
238
00:12:55,906 --> 00:12:57,376
Whatever you think is best.
239
00:12:57,377 --> 00:12:58,977
You're the fashion guru.
240
00:12:58,979 --> 00:13:01,409
And since
you'll be the presenter,
241
00:13:01,411 --> 00:13:02,481
I will take care
of everything else.
242
00:13:02,482 --> 00:13:06,322
Really? That's so nice!
243
00:13:06,316 --> 00:13:08,516
Everyone should really
stop calling you
a heinous she-devil.
244
00:13:11,021 --> 00:13:13,261
Aw, do you need
some bran, too?
245
00:13:17,397 --> 00:13:19,167
Bertram, can I have
the peanut butter?
246
00:13:19,169 --> 00:13:22,799
Okay, but don't let it
spoil your dinner.
247
00:13:22,802 --> 00:13:26,082
(SNIFFS) Smells like
your liver souffle
did that already.
248
00:13:27,807 --> 00:13:29,837
I always enjoy
our little chats.
249
00:13:35,215 --> 00:13:37,045
Eat your math sandwich,
Mrs. Kipling.
250
00:13:37,047 --> 00:13:39,887
And if you
clean your plate,
251
00:13:39,890 --> 00:13:42,450
you can have some
vocab sheets for dessert.
252
00:13:42,452 --> 00:13:46,502
I'm sure they'll be
"traumatic and loquacious."
253
00:13:46,496 --> 00:13:47,526
Yum!
254
00:13:51,161 --> 00:13:52,361
What's Mrs. Kipling eating?
255
00:13:53,163 --> 00:13:54,563
Oh, no!
256
00:13:54,564 --> 00:13:58,174
The lizard
ate my homework!
257
00:13:58,168 --> 00:14:00,038
That'll be one
the teacher hasn't heard.
258
00:14:00,040 --> 00:14:03,040
Luckily, she emailed me
your worksheets.
259
00:14:03,043 --> 00:14:03,943
But nice try.
260
00:14:05,045 --> 00:14:07,415
Stupid internet.
261
00:14:07,417 --> 00:14:10,547
I wish I was born
in the olden times
like you and Bertram.
262
00:14:10,550 --> 00:14:13,220
What do I have to do
to get you to do
your homework?
263
00:14:13,223 --> 00:14:14,353
It's really not that much.
264
00:14:14,354 --> 00:14:17,064
Wrong!
265
00:14:17,057 --> 00:14:20,087
The teacher assigned us
more today, so now
it's twice as much work.
266
00:14:20,090 --> 00:14:21,990
Well, at least we know
you can do math.
267
00:14:23,363 --> 00:14:25,343
Ravi,
what happened to you?
268
00:14:25,335 --> 00:14:27,035
A spitball ambush.
269
00:14:28,899 --> 00:14:33,939
Well, looks like
this needs your
undivided attention.
270
00:14:33,944 --> 00:14:35,314
(WHISPERS)
Thank you for being you.
271
00:14:38,108 --> 00:14:40,648
Ravi, who did this?
272
00:14:40,650 --> 00:14:44,180
The important thing is,
it is not the fault of Luke.
273
00:14:44,184 --> 00:14:45,524
Luke, what did you do?
274
00:14:45,515 --> 00:14:48,415
It wasn't me!
275
00:14:48,418 --> 00:14:50,458
Some kids at school
have been giving Ravi
a hard time
276
00:14:50,460 --> 00:14:53,420
because I may have
sorta, kinda been seen
at school with Kenny,
277
00:14:53,423 --> 00:14:56,033
and then sorta,
kinda let Ravi
take the heat for it.
278
00:14:56,026 --> 00:14:59,966
Luke, that is sorta,
kinda despicable!
279
00:14:59,970 --> 00:15:01,330
Well, it's your fault!
280
00:15:01,331 --> 00:15:03,071
How is that even
remotely possible?
281
00:15:03,073 --> 00:15:04,673
You're the one
who put Kenny
in my backpack!
282
00:15:04,674 --> 00:15:07,944
Okay, so,
that's not so remote.
283
00:15:07,938 --> 00:15:10,638
But how could you just
stand by and let Ravi
get wallpapered?
284
00:15:10,640 --> 00:15:12,540
I didn't
ask him to do this.
285
00:15:12,542 --> 00:15:14,312
He volunteered.
He's fine with it.
286
00:15:14,314 --> 00:15:15,654
If I may interject...
Ravi, not now!
287
00:15:15,645 --> 00:15:18,215
Clearly, he's not fine.
288
00:15:18,218 --> 00:15:20,088
He's covered in
saliva and shame!
289
00:15:22,592 --> 00:15:26,562
Is anyone else concerned
that if I do not
take a shower soon,
290
00:15:26,556 --> 00:15:29,626
I may harden into
a giant papier-mache
garden gnome?
291
00:15:31,631 --> 00:15:33,001
So, just me?
292
00:15:35,405 --> 00:15:38,365
Luke, I am so
disappointed in you.
293
00:15:38,368 --> 00:15:40,168
I always thought
the best part of
having siblings
294
00:15:40,170 --> 00:15:43,610
must be having
someone to stick up
for you, you know?
295
00:15:43,613 --> 00:15:46,053
Ravi did his part.
Now it's your turn.
296
00:15:46,046 --> 00:15:48,476
But I can't!
You just don't get it.
297
00:15:50,120 --> 00:15:54,150
Jessie, since
you were an only child,
298
00:15:54,154 --> 00:15:56,034
who stuck up
for you in school?
299
00:15:56,026 --> 00:15:57,456
My Dad. Yeah,
he'd show up
at my school,
300
00:15:57,457 --> 00:16:00,087
lob an old avocado
at the cheerleaders
and yell,
301
00:16:00,090 --> 00:16:01,630
"Fire in the hole!"
302
00:16:01,631 --> 00:16:05,001
You've never seen
a pyramid topple so fast.
303
00:16:04,995 --> 00:16:06,035
(LAUGHS EVILLY)
304
00:16:08,238 --> 00:16:10,298
Sometimes you scare me.
305
00:16:17,007 --> 00:16:17,977
Hey, Wittle Wavi,
306
00:16:17,977 --> 00:16:19,377
wanna play
some dodge-bear?
307
00:16:21,051 --> 00:16:22,981
(KIDS LAUGHING)
308
00:16:24,754 --> 00:16:26,494
Hey! Everyone!
309
00:16:29,119 --> 00:16:29,419
Listen up.
310
00:16:31,461 --> 00:16:33,421
Kenny doesn't
belong to Ravi.
311
00:16:33,423 --> 00:16:35,603
He's mine.
(GASPS)
312
00:16:35,595 --> 00:16:38,225
Luke, you do not
have to do this.
313
00:16:38,228 --> 00:16:39,298
Yes, I do.
314
00:16:40,770 --> 00:16:43,230
Kenny's been with me
since I was a baby.
315
00:16:43,233 --> 00:16:45,243
He hangs out on my bed,
316
00:16:45,235 --> 00:16:46,635
sometimes I bring him
to the dentist
317
00:16:46,636 --> 00:16:49,036
when I'm nervous
because I haven't flossed.
318
00:16:51,381 --> 00:16:57,391
In fact, the only person
who's been a better friend
to me than Kenny is Ravi.
319
00:16:57,387 --> 00:16:59,417
So quit making fun
of my little brother.
320
00:16:59,419 --> 00:17:00,349
GIRLS: Aw!
321
00:17:02,192 --> 00:17:04,052
Whoa, hey.
322
00:17:04,054 --> 00:17:05,404
You know, Kenny and I
have matching sweaters.
323
00:17:09,059 --> 00:17:12,029
They think this is cute?
324
00:17:12,031 --> 00:17:13,561
Classic Luke.
325
00:17:13,563 --> 00:17:16,113
With those freckles
and that charisma,
he makes it work.
326
00:17:20,140 --> 00:17:24,640
So, Shelby, you think
the biggest evil
in the world is yarn?
327
00:17:24,644 --> 00:17:28,684
No, of course not.
It's split ends!
328
00:17:28,678 --> 00:17:30,448
You should know that
better than anyone.
329
00:17:33,183 --> 00:17:35,193
Fail much?
330
00:17:38,088 --> 00:17:39,388
Hey, Rosie.
331
00:17:39,389 --> 00:17:40,189
Does this look okay?
332
00:17:40,190 --> 00:17:42,360
Perfect.
333
00:17:42,362 --> 00:17:44,132
Now can you tell me
what we're doing?
334
00:17:44,134 --> 00:17:47,174
Emma, I am the artist,
you are the art.
335
00:17:47,167 --> 00:17:49,237
This will work best
if you just try
336
00:17:49,239 --> 00:17:50,399
and keep your mind
completely blank.
337
00:17:52,071 --> 00:17:53,101
Sorry, what was that?
338
00:17:53,103 --> 00:17:54,503
I was thinking
about headbands.
339
00:17:56,846 --> 00:17:58,246
See? You're a natural.
340
00:18:00,280 --> 00:18:01,650
Well, most of you.
341
00:18:01,651 --> 00:18:04,411
All right, show time.
Hop in the box.
342
00:18:09,189 --> 00:18:11,319
Just move your mouth
up and down
when I pull the cord.
343
00:18:11,321 --> 00:18:13,561
Like this?
344
00:18:13,563 --> 00:18:16,403
Who needs brains
when you're pretty?
345
00:18:16,396 --> 00:18:18,396
(LAUGHING)
346
00:18:18,398 --> 00:18:20,298
What do we have here?
347
00:18:20,300 --> 00:18:22,470
We object
to the fact that
women are judged
348
00:18:22,472 --> 00:18:24,332
based on their looks
rather than
what's in their heads.
349
00:18:24,334 --> 00:18:26,744
Too true.
350
00:18:26,736 --> 00:18:29,576
I, for one, was judged
harshly in the art world
351
00:18:29,579 --> 00:18:32,179
when I went
through an unfortunate
sweat pant phase.
352
00:18:33,613 --> 00:18:37,293
It's better to be
beautiful than nice.
353
00:18:37,287 --> 00:18:39,117
(LAUGHING)
354
00:18:39,118 --> 00:18:43,348
Hey! That's my voice,
but I never said that!
355
00:18:43,353 --> 00:18:46,263
Um, Emma
seems a bit upset.
356
00:18:46,256 --> 00:18:47,596
I want out!
357
00:18:47,597 --> 00:18:51,727
Um, what she means
is that she wants out,
358
00:18:51,731 --> 00:18:53,601
out of this role
she's been forced to play.
359
00:18:56,236 --> 00:18:57,506
(LAUGHING)
360
00:19:02,542 --> 00:19:03,712
Wait!
361
00:19:03,713 --> 00:19:05,283
Take me with you!
362
00:19:10,680 --> 00:19:11,920
Ready to do
some homework?
363
00:19:11,921 --> 00:19:14,551
Close, close, close,
close, close!
364
00:19:14,554 --> 00:19:17,934
Help! Help!
Nanny gone berserk!
365
00:19:17,927 --> 00:19:19,657
Where's Gloria Allred
when you need her?
366
00:19:22,262 --> 00:19:24,562
Sit. Here's the deal.
367
00:19:24,564 --> 00:19:27,174
Neither one of us
is moving until
you finish that homework.
368
00:19:27,166 --> 00:19:28,336
Works for me.
369
00:19:28,338 --> 00:19:29,538
But don't you
have tickets
370
00:19:29,539 --> 00:19:30,539
to see that
new musical next month?
371
00:19:33,703 --> 00:19:34,703
(CHUCKLES)
One, one second.
372
00:19:37,307 --> 00:19:38,577
(MUFFLED SCREAMING)
373
00:19:42,752 --> 00:19:45,562
Jessie, please don't
make me.
374
00:19:46,556 --> 00:19:48,816
All right, sweetie,
375
00:19:48,818 --> 00:19:50,288
I'm getting the feeling
this is about more than
376
00:19:50,290 --> 00:19:52,220
just not wanting
to do your homework.
377
00:19:52,222 --> 00:19:54,392
Why don't you tell me
what's really bothering you?
378
00:19:54,394 --> 00:19:58,534
Well, third grade
is a lot tougher
than second.
379
00:19:58,528 --> 00:20:01,268
What if I'm not
smart enough
to do the work?
380
00:20:01,271 --> 00:20:03,531
Zuri, you're the smartest
little girl I know.
381
00:20:03,533 --> 00:20:04,873
Look,
we'll do it together,
382
00:20:04,874 --> 00:20:06,914
and every time
you get a question right,
383
00:20:06,906 --> 00:20:08,436
you'll get five extra
minutes of TV time.
How does that sound?
384
00:20:08,438 --> 00:20:12,408
Well, I usually prefer
my bribes in cash,
385
00:20:12,412 --> 00:20:13,712
but I can get
behind TV time.
386
00:20:18,418 --> 00:20:21,218
Emma, what's going on?
387
00:20:21,220 --> 00:20:23,750
You look like Ken died.
388
00:20:23,753 --> 00:20:26,433
Rosie humiliated me
in front of
the entire school.
389
00:20:26,426 --> 00:20:27,656
I'm so sorry.
390
00:20:27,657 --> 00:20:29,597
I remember one time,
391
00:20:29,599 --> 00:20:31,299
Darla embarrassed me
in front of my whole school.
392
00:20:31,301 --> 00:20:32,961
It was laundry day
and I was wearing
granny underpants.
393
00:20:32,962 --> 00:20:35,272
(DOORBELL RINGS)
Saved by the bell.
394
00:20:36,966 --> 00:20:39,006
Emma...
I don't want
to talk to you!
395
00:20:39,008 --> 00:20:43,308
Emma, is this the girl
who's being mean to you?
396
00:20:43,313 --> 00:20:44,613
Yeah.
397
00:20:44,614 --> 00:20:46,884
Listen, you.
398
00:20:46,876 --> 00:20:48,416
There's two things
I'm good at.
399
00:20:48,418 --> 00:20:50,978
Eating cookies
and kicking butt.
400
00:20:50,980 --> 00:20:52,480
And we're all
out of cookies!
401
00:20:52,482 --> 00:20:54,282
Oh, okay, okay, okay!
402
00:20:55,254 --> 00:20:56,434
(NERVOUS LAUGHTER)
403
00:20:56,426 --> 00:20:58,256
Tenacious Z
and I will just be
404
00:20:58,257 --> 00:21:00,527
in the screening room,
watching some TV.
405
00:21:00,530 --> 00:21:02,560
Not eavesdropping. Much.
406
00:21:03,593 --> 00:21:06,503
This is not over!
407
00:21:07,367 --> 00:21:09,467
I like her.
408
00:21:09,469 --> 00:21:11,639
What do you need
to say to me?
409
00:21:11,641 --> 00:21:14,971
Well, first, I wanted
to say that we got an A,
410
00:21:14,974 --> 00:21:17,514
and you dropped
your double-D.
411
00:21:19,549 --> 00:21:23,309
Also, I wanted
to apologize.
412
00:21:23,313 --> 00:21:24,753
I didn't mean
to hurt your feelings.
413
00:21:24,754 --> 00:21:26,394
Well, you did!
414
00:21:26,386 --> 00:21:28,856
I am so taking back
my friend request!
415
00:21:28,858 --> 00:21:32,018
I was going to accept,
but my grandma won't
get off our computer.
416
00:21:32,021 --> 00:21:34,061
She's always looking
for a boyfriend on
that dating website,
417
00:21:34,063 --> 00:21:37,573
I've Fallen In Love
And I Can't Get Up.
418
00:21:37,567 --> 00:21:39,767
Why would you
embarrass me like that?
419
00:21:39,769 --> 00:21:42,929
I was trying to
make a statement about
people like you and Shelby.
420
00:21:42,932 --> 00:21:44,502
I'm nothing like Shelby!
421
00:21:44,504 --> 00:21:46,544
My shirts say "Emma."
422
00:21:46,536 --> 00:21:51,076
And, unlike Shelby,
I tried to be nice to you.
423
00:21:51,080 --> 00:21:54,710
I know. I... I guess
I just never thought
424
00:21:54,714 --> 00:21:57,494
someone like me could
hurt someone like you.
425
00:21:57,487 --> 00:21:58,987
Your life is so perfect.
426
00:21:58,988 --> 00:22:01,348
My life isn't perfect.
427
00:22:01,351 --> 00:22:04,021
My nanny was just
giving me a speech
about her underpants.
428
00:22:04,023 --> 00:22:05,053
Yeah, she's weird.
429
00:22:08,097 --> 00:22:11,957
The truth is...
I'm jealous, all right?
430
00:22:11,961 --> 00:22:14,561
I mean, you live here,
431
00:22:14,564 --> 00:22:16,514
and you look like that,
432
00:22:16,506 --> 00:22:20,066
and you're so nice,
and I just wanna
smack you all the time!
433
00:22:21,511 --> 00:22:23,711
Please don't.
434
00:22:23,713 --> 00:22:27,083
If you really
want to smack someone,
may I suggest Shelby?
435
00:22:27,076 --> 00:22:29,616
She is puke-ular.
436
00:22:30,680 --> 00:22:32,020
Totally.
437
00:22:32,021 --> 00:22:33,481
And you know what?
438
00:22:33,483 --> 00:22:34,623
I think your
fashion statements rock.
439
00:22:34,624 --> 00:22:37,634
Really? Thanks!
440
00:22:37,627 --> 00:22:40,757
Do you wanna borrow my skirt
I made out of compost?
441
00:22:40,760 --> 00:22:44,730
Uh, I think
that's more for spring.
442
00:22:44,734 --> 00:22:46,904
Hey! We both love fashion
and hate Shelby.
443
00:22:46,896 --> 00:22:50,496
Yeah. Maybe we do have
something in common.
444
00:22:50,500 --> 00:22:52,600
Told you so!
445
00:22:52,602 --> 00:22:54,802
Do you mind? I'm trying
to talk to my friend!
446
00:22:54,804 --> 00:23:00,054
Ugh! Don't you hate it
when your nanny and butler
eavesdrop on you?
447
00:23:00,049 --> 00:23:02,409
Okay, if we're
going to be friends,
448
00:23:02,412 --> 00:23:04,852
please cool it with the
rich people problems.
It's really annoying.
449
00:23:06,616 --> 00:23:07,886
I used to feel
the same way.
450
00:23:07,887 --> 00:23:10,387
Try the massage chairs
in the screening room.
451
00:23:10,389 --> 00:23:11,589
(CHUCKLES)
You'll get over it.
452
00:23:13,563 --> 00:23:15,393
And sometimes,
when I watch a movie
453
00:23:15,394 --> 00:23:18,504
where a doggie and
kitty make friends,
454
00:23:18,498 --> 00:23:21,468
I cry a little.
GIRLS: Aw.
455
00:23:21,471 --> 00:23:22,901
Do not think less of me.
456
00:23:22,902 --> 00:23:24,072
ALL: Aw!
457
00:23:27,937 --> 00:23:28,837
Nice work, bro.
458
00:23:28,838 --> 00:23:30,578
I'm proud of you.
459
00:23:30,580 --> 00:23:35,690
Yes, vulnerability is
catnip to the ladies.
460
00:23:35,685 --> 00:23:37,545
Next week, I will
fake a sports injury.
34400
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