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1
00:00:06,507 --> 00:00:07,377
JESSIE: Bertram?
Working.
2
00:00:07,378 --> 00:00:10,138
Bertram working?
3
00:00:10,141 --> 00:00:12,041
I must be dreaming.
Somebody pinch me.
4
00:00:12,043 --> 00:00:12,643
I'm on it.
Hands off it!
5
00:00:15,116 --> 00:00:16,586
Hey, I just saw
the strangest thing.
6
00:00:16,587 --> 00:00:19,287
Bertram doing his job.
7
00:00:20,221 --> 00:00:21,391
Dad must be home!
8
00:00:22,753 --> 00:00:25,103
Dad!
Hey, bud!
9
00:00:25,096 --> 00:00:26,156
And Jessie! Great,
you're all here.
10
00:00:26,157 --> 00:00:30,227
Oh, boy, guys.
I missed you all so much.
11
00:00:30,231 --> 00:00:32,601
I thought my heart
was gonna...
12
00:00:32,603 --> 00:00:33,603
Was gonna...
13
00:00:34,205 --> 00:00:35,205
(GROANS)
14
00:00:35,436 --> 00:00:38,036
(SCREAMS)
15
00:00:38,038 --> 00:00:39,668
(ALL SCREAMING)
16
00:00:39,670 --> 00:00:41,240
(HEART BEATING)
17
00:00:42,113 --> 00:00:43,313
(LAUGHING)
18
00:00:43,314 --> 00:00:44,454
Burst.
19
00:00:44,445 --> 00:00:47,315
Great one, Dad.
20
00:00:47,318 --> 00:00:50,448
Mr. Daddy has a million
of these shenanigans.
21
00:00:50,451 --> 00:00:53,221
Word to the wise.
If he asks you to pull
his finger, say no.
22
00:00:55,086 --> 00:00:57,786
I actually do have
something to tell you guys.
23
00:00:57,788 --> 00:00:58,688
You've seen
Vampires in the Mist,
right?
24
00:00:58,689 --> 00:01:03,089
Only a gajillion times.
Jordan Taylor is
my screen saver,
25
00:01:03,094 --> 00:01:05,474
my wallpaper, and
my password!
26
00:01:05,466 --> 00:01:05,796
Forget what I said
about my password.
27
00:01:08,439 --> 00:01:11,439
Well, try
to stay calm.
28
00:01:11,442 --> 00:01:12,772
He might be
in my next movie.
29
00:01:12,773 --> 00:01:14,183
(ALL GASP)
30
00:01:14,175 --> 00:01:17,145
O-M-G!
Jordan Taylor!
31
00:01:17,148 --> 00:01:17,778
I gotta go text!
32
00:01:17,778 --> 00:01:21,408
Emma, that door
is closed.
33
00:01:24,785 --> 00:01:27,155
That calmed her
right down.
34
00:01:28,689 --> 00:01:28,789
I'll take care
of this, sir.
35
00:01:34,665 --> 00:01:36,365
And I'll bring back
an ice pack.
36
00:01:36,367 --> 00:01:38,527
Jordan Taylor, huh?
37
00:01:38,529 --> 00:01:41,329
Maybe Emma
could meet him.
I would go with her,
38
00:01:41,332 --> 00:01:44,182
of course, just to make sure
she doesn't go all crazy.
39
00:01:44,175 --> 00:01:47,575
Well, we're all
going to meet him.
40
00:01:47,578 --> 00:01:49,338
He's gonna be staying
here for the weekend.
(ALL GASP)
41
00:01:50,110 --> 00:01:52,510
Here? With us?
42
00:01:52,513 --> 00:01:54,893
Room... Getting...
Darker...
43
00:01:58,149 --> 00:02:00,619
This is why I'm not
looking forward
to puberty.
44
00:02:01,792 --> 00:02:03,752
♪ Oh, oh, oh, oh
Oh, oh, oh, oh
45
00:02:03,754 --> 00:02:08,504
♪ Hey Jessie, hey Jessie
46
00:02:08,499 --> 00:02:12,229
♪ It feels like a party
every day
47
00:02:12,233 --> 00:02:14,743
♪ Hey Jessie, hey Jessie
48
00:02:14,735 --> 00:02:19,505
♪ But they keep on pulling
me every which way
49
00:02:19,510 --> 00:02:22,670
♪ Hey Jessie, hey Jessie
50
00:02:22,673 --> 00:02:26,423
♪ My whole world is changing
Turning around
51
00:02:26,417 --> 00:02:29,777
♪ They got me going crazy
Yeah, they're shaking
the ground
52
00:02:29,780 --> 00:02:33,680
♪ But they took a chance
on the new girl in town
53
00:02:33,684 --> 00:02:36,934
♪ And I don't want to let them
down, down, down
54
00:02:36,927 --> 00:02:39,687
♪ Hey Jessie
55
00:02:39,690 --> 00:02:44,160
♪ Hey Jessie
56
00:02:44,164 --> 00:02:48,174
♪ It feels like a party
every day
57
00:02:48,168 --> 00:02:50,898
♪ Hey, hey, hey,
hey, hey, Jessie ♪
58
00:02:55,446 --> 00:02:58,706
Okay, listen, guys,
this is really important.
Okay?
59
00:02:58,709 --> 00:03:01,679
If Jordan decides
to be in my next movie,
60
00:03:01,682 --> 00:03:05,592
this could be my first
real shot at an Oscar.
61
00:03:05,586 --> 00:03:09,386
And high time too, sir.
You should have won
for Monkey Maniac 2.
62
00:03:11,462 --> 00:03:14,372
Wow, that man could suck
up Lake Michigan.
63
00:03:16,327 --> 00:03:17,497
Jordan has insisted
on staying with us
for the weekend
64
00:03:17,498 --> 00:03:19,868
because he wants
to get to know me.
65
00:03:19,870 --> 00:03:22,570
He wants to make
sure he can trust me.
66
00:03:22,573 --> 00:03:24,683
I am all about
trust, too.
67
00:03:24,675 --> 00:03:26,905
Jordan and I have
so much in common.
68
00:03:26,907 --> 00:03:29,237
(SIGHS)
69
00:03:29,240 --> 00:03:31,880
But it has to be
a complete secret
that he's here, okay?
70
00:03:31,882 --> 00:03:34,392
Jordan is obsessed
with his privacy.
71
00:03:34,385 --> 00:03:36,215
He likes privacy?
I like privacy!
72
00:03:36,216 --> 00:03:38,686
It's like we're
the same person!
73
00:03:40,491 --> 00:03:45,631
Now, while he's here,
I need everyone
to act natural.
74
00:03:45,626 --> 00:03:48,526
And to make sure that
happens, here are some
notes on how to act.
75
00:03:51,662 --> 00:03:54,512
I'm supposed to
get along with Emma?
76
00:03:54,505 --> 00:03:55,735
I'm not that good
an actor.
77
00:03:57,368 --> 00:03:58,508
(INTERCOM BUZZING)
78
00:03:58,509 --> 00:03:59,669
TONY: Hey, Rosses.
79
00:03:59,670 --> 00:04:00,740
There's someone
here to see you.
80
00:04:00,741 --> 00:04:04,821
Says his name's
Rufus T. Firefly.
81
00:04:04,815 --> 00:04:08,245
Rufus is Jordan Taylor's
code name.
82
00:04:08,248 --> 00:04:09,318
BOTH: I'll go
bring him up!
83
00:04:11,522 --> 00:04:13,722
(BOTH GRUNTING)
84
00:04:13,724 --> 00:04:14,534
Whoa!
85
00:04:15,686 --> 00:04:16,626
(EMMA SNICKERING)
86
00:04:16,627 --> 00:04:18,527
I'll take the service stairs!
87
00:04:19,760 --> 00:04:22,690
(BOTH EXCLAIM)
88
00:04:22,693 --> 00:04:24,673
They're acting like
Rascal Flatts is
down there.
89
00:04:26,397 --> 00:04:29,297
So I'm into country.
Sue me.
90
00:04:32,973 --> 00:04:37,683
I cannot wait to tell
people that we're hanging out
with Jordan Taylor!
91
00:04:37,678 --> 00:04:40,448
But Mr. Daddy said
we are not supposed
to tell anyone.
92
00:04:40,451 --> 00:04:45,721
Oh, please.
I have to do something
to impress people.
93
00:04:45,716 --> 00:04:48,016
Second grade
is cutthroat.
94
00:04:48,018 --> 00:04:49,918
There's a girl
who can pick her nose
with her tongue!
95
00:04:49,920 --> 00:04:52,420
Ugh.
96
00:04:52,423 --> 00:04:55,003
But we can't just say
we hang with Jordan.
97
00:04:54,995 --> 00:04:58,295
We need proof.
98
00:04:58,298 --> 00:05:02,628
Maybe something cool
might fall out of his
suitcase.
99
00:05:02,633 --> 00:05:04,483
And right into
our sticky,
little fingers.
100
00:05:06,907 --> 00:05:08,977
I just polished
my Audience Choice
Award.
101
00:05:09,540 --> 00:05:10,640
Stand around the award!
102
00:05:13,313 --> 00:05:15,593
(ELEVATOR CHIMES)
103
00:05:15,586 --> 00:05:19,316
Look natural!
104
00:05:19,319 --> 00:05:20,719
Jordan! Welcome!
105
00:05:20,721 --> 00:05:22,621
Morgan!
106
00:05:22,623 --> 00:05:25,533
Girls, please, give
him some space.
107
00:05:32,403 --> 00:05:34,973
Hmm, he is not as handsome
as I thought he would be.
108
00:05:34,965 --> 00:05:40,765
He resembles a
goat Mr. Kipling
once devoured.
109
00:05:40,771 --> 00:05:44,041
I'm sorry for
this silly disguise.
(CHUCKLING)
110
00:05:44,044 --> 00:05:45,854
(SIGHS)
111
00:05:46,346 --> 00:05:49,876
Fame can...
112
00:05:49,880 --> 00:05:50,820
be a cage.
113
00:05:51,982 --> 00:05:52,782
BOTH: Aw!
114
00:05:55,085 --> 00:05:57,025
Still not understanding
all the hoopla.
115
00:05:59,490 --> 00:06:00,930
Ahem.
116
00:06:00,931 --> 00:06:03,691
Hi, Jordan. I'm
12-year-old Luke,
117
00:06:03,694 --> 00:06:08,544
a loveable scamp
who enjoys stamp
collecting, homework,
118
00:06:08,539 --> 00:06:10,999
and behaving myself?
119
00:06:13,574 --> 00:06:15,384
I'll go get
your suitcase.
120
00:06:15,375 --> 00:06:16,845
Thanks, but
it's heavy.
121
00:06:16,847 --> 00:06:18,847
We'll lighten it
up for you.
122
00:06:18,849 --> 00:06:21,609
I mean, we'll take
it to your room.
123
00:06:21,612 --> 00:06:24,052
I think I played
that off okay.
124
00:06:27,958 --> 00:06:30,888
I'll take a nice, big
slice of Jordan.
125
00:06:30,891 --> 00:06:33,091
Me, too.
Dibs on the dimple!
126
00:06:33,093 --> 00:06:36,673
Guys, all this
fuss over me?
127
00:06:36,667 --> 00:06:38,727
Look, I'm no different
than any other
128
00:06:38,729 --> 00:06:41,669
sensitive 19-year-old
who makes 20 million
dollars a film
129
00:06:41,672 --> 00:06:43,972
and kicks it
with Coldplay.
130
00:06:44,735 --> 00:06:46,605
You know who else
is sensitive?
131
00:06:46,607 --> 00:06:49,537
And trustworthy?
And a great director?
Morgan.
132
00:06:49,540 --> 00:06:51,410
(CHUCKLING)
Bertram, stop.
133
00:06:51,411 --> 00:06:53,541
(MOUTHING)
134
00:06:55,616 --> 00:06:57,916
And he also has
great taste in nannies.
135
00:06:57,918 --> 00:06:58,718
(CHUCKLING)
136
00:07:00,020 --> 00:07:02,120
(STAMMERS)
137
00:07:02,122 --> 00:07:02,952
Oh!
138
00:07:02,953 --> 00:07:05,603
It's like
half a grapefruit.
139
00:07:05,596 --> 00:07:08,126
(CELL PHONE RINGING)
140
00:07:08,128 --> 00:07:10,628
Jordan, I am so sorry,
but I really have to
take this.
141
00:07:11,802 --> 00:07:16,142
JORDAN: (ON TABLET)
Hey, punk! Look out!
Stop!
142
00:07:16,136 --> 00:07:21,166
Oh, hey, are you
watching my movie
Tilt-a-Whirl of Terror?
143
00:07:21,171 --> 00:07:25,181
Yes. I have been told
you are an actor
of subtle intensity.
144
00:07:25,175 --> 00:07:26,775
And yet, all you do
in this film is shout,
145
00:07:26,777 --> 00:07:31,717
"Hey, punk! Look out!"
And "Stop!"
146
00:07:31,722 --> 00:07:34,892
Yeah, you see,
I tried to give "stop"
a lot of layers.
147
00:07:34,885 --> 00:07:39,085
Like commanding. "Stop!"
And compassionate. "Stop!"
148
00:07:39,089 --> 00:07:40,159
(GASPS)
149
00:07:40,160 --> 00:07:42,130
And desperate,
yet cynical. "Stop!"
150
00:07:42,132 --> 00:07:44,902
Oh!
151
00:07:44,895 --> 00:07:46,195
See?
152
00:07:46,196 --> 00:07:47,996
Ah...
153
00:07:47,998 --> 00:07:49,868
Oh! Look, your face
is on that cake.
154
00:07:53,243 --> 00:07:55,483
Jordan, I really
hate to leave,
155
00:07:55,475 --> 00:07:56,145
but the money guys
just called an
emergency meeting
156
00:07:56,146 --> 00:07:58,976
downtown
about the movie.
157
00:07:58,979 --> 00:08:02,249
Better you than me.
I'm not in it for
the money.
158
00:08:02,252 --> 00:08:05,792
I want to be an artist.
159
00:08:05,786 --> 00:08:07,756
You know what, my friend?
The artists want to be you!
160
00:08:11,922 --> 00:08:15,532
Listen, I'll be right back.
Make sure they behave, okay?
161
00:08:15,526 --> 00:08:17,596
My entire career
is riding on this.
162
00:08:17,598 --> 00:08:18,698
So is yours.
Hmm.
163
00:08:18,699 --> 00:08:20,699
No pressure.
164
00:08:22,172 --> 00:08:23,902
I'm on it.
165
00:08:23,904 --> 00:08:27,144
Jordan, you have
a little bit of your
nose on your cheek.
166
00:08:27,137 --> 00:08:27,937
(GIGGLING)
167
00:08:28,508 --> 00:08:31,708
Emma.
168
00:08:31,712 --> 00:08:34,512
I'm sorry, she's just really
excited to see you.
169
00:08:41,692 --> 00:08:44,252
All right, Jessie,
quit trying to steal
Jordan from me!
170
00:08:44,254 --> 00:08:47,034
You're ruining
my chance at happiness!
171
00:08:47,027 --> 00:08:49,697
You're 13!
Your happiness
should come from
172
00:08:49,700 --> 00:08:53,160
cherry-flavored lip
gloss and unicorn stickers.
173
00:08:53,163 --> 00:08:53,963
I love Jordan more
than you do!
174
00:08:53,964 --> 00:08:57,174
Have you been in my room?
I don't see any
175
00:08:57,167 --> 00:08:59,567
Jordan poster pull-out
pages on your walls.
176
00:08:59,570 --> 00:09:02,210
That's because I keep
my Jordan shrine
in the closet.
177
00:09:02,212 --> 00:09:03,112
Like a mature person.
178
00:09:05,215 --> 00:09:08,175
See?
179
00:09:08,178 --> 00:09:12,018
He might fall in love
with me if you'd
just back off!
180
00:09:12,022 --> 00:09:13,652
Emma, I could back
all the way to New Jersey.
181
00:09:13,654 --> 00:09:16,694
That will not change the fact
that you're too young for him!
182
00:09:17,958 --> 00:09:19,628
You wanna fight me
for him, granny?
183
00:09:19,630 --> 00:09:20,690
Let's go!
184
00:09:22,062 --> 00:09:24,942
May the best woman win.
185
00:09:24,935 --> 00:09:26,795
Suits me.
'Cause I'm the only
woman in the room.
186
00:09:27,598 --> 00:09:29,198
Hey! Hey!
187
00:09:31,772 --> 00:09:35,012
Now you're the only
woman in the closet!
188
00:09:35,005 --> 00:09:38,105
Emma, I'm gonna count
to three and you better
let me out!
189
00:09:38,979 --> 00:09:41,709
One! Two! Three!
190
00:09:41,712 --> 00:09:44,312
Four! Five!
191
00:09:44,314 --> 00:09:46,864
I have a horrible
feeling she left.
192
00:09:52,192 --> 00:09:56,132
There's nothing cool here.
It's just clothes.
193
00:09:56,126 --> 00:09:56,996
And Jordan's
bath ducky.
(QUACKS)
194
00:09:59,830 --> 00:10:00,900
That's not gonna give me
any playground cred.
195
00:10:02,602 --> 00:10:03,602
(DUCK QUACKS)
196
00:10:03,874 --> 00:10:05,884
Whoa! Hold the phone.
197
00:10:07,938 --> 00:10:09,878
His phone!
Boo-yah!
198
00:10:12,182 --> 00:10:14,242
Check out his
contact list.
199
00:10:14,244 --> 00:10:17,124
It's everyone from
Amy Adams to Rachel Zoe.
200
00:10:17,117 --> 00:10:20,047
We should probably
put that back.
201
00:10:20,050 --> 00:10:20,820
Right after we call
every person on there.
202
00:10:20,821 --> 00:10:22,791
Yeah!
Yeah!
203
00:10:22,793 --> 00:10:25,063
Ooh! A-Rod.
204
00:10:27,958 --> 00:10:31,198
Hi, this is Ima.
205
00:10:31,201 --> 00:10:33,401
Ima Fraid You Can't
Hit Worth Beans!
206
00:10:35,906 --> 00:10:38,036
Prince William!
I'm calling him.
207
00:10:41,141 --> 00:10:42,911
Ugh, voice mail.
208
00:10:46,016 --> 00:10:48,376
Hello, Your Highness,
this is Jordan Taylor's
assistant.
209
00:10:48,378 --> 00:10:51,718
He wishes me to inform you
that you're a doody-head!
210
00:10:51,722 --> 00:10:54,422
(BOTH LAUGHING)
211
00:10:54,424 --> 00:10:59,794
JESSIE: Ninety-nine, 100.
Now I'm mad!
212
00:11:04,434 --> 00:11:06,404
Huh. I should have done
that a hundred ago.
213
00:11:09,139 --> 00:11:09,939
(GRUNTS)
214
00:11:13,443 --> 00:11:14,983
Well played, Emma.
215
00:11:17,407 --> 00:11:19,007
(WHISTLES)
Yo! Window washer!
216
00:11:22,082 --> 00:11:24,052
I'd like a ride!
217
00:11:24,054 --> 00:11:26,724
And I'd like a job near
a bathroom. So I guess
we're both out of luck.
218
00:11:28,218 --> 00:11:30,258
I'll give you 10 bucks.
Hop on.
219
00:11:37,427 --> 00:11:40,097
Whoa! That's a
long way down.
220
00:11:40,100 --> 00:11:41,200
(SQUEAKING)
221
00:11:41,201 --> 00:11:42,771
(SCREAMS) A rat!
222
00:11:46,136 --> 00:11:48,136
What are you doing?
Come on!
223
00:11:48,138 --> 00:11:49,408
(SQUEALING)
224
00:11:49,409 --> 00:11:51,439
(SCREAMS)
Catch me!
225
00:11:51,441 --> 00:11:53,481
(INDISTINCT)
226
00:11:53,483 --> 00:11:54,413
BOTH: Whoa!
227
00:11:54,414 --> 00:11:54,854
(SOBS)
228
00:11:56,887 --> 00:11:58,487
(JESSIE EXCLAIMING)
229
00:11:58,488 --> 00:12:00,348
What are you doing?
230
00:12:07,157 --> 00:12:08,257
Quick question.
231
00:12:08,258 --> 00:12:10,758
Where do you go
to the bathroom
up here?
232
00:12:13,003 --> 00:12:16,443
You're tearing me apart!
233
00:12:18,468 --> 00:12:20,938
Pretty good, huh?
234
00:12:20,941 --> 00:12:22,011
Well, you are
no Shah Rukh Khan.
235
00:12:24,274 --> 00:12:26,084
He is an Indian actor.
236
00:12:26,076 --> 00:12:27,846
Underline "actor."
237
00:12:29,780 --> 00:12:31,180
(ROMANTIC ORCHESTRAL
MUSIC PLAYING)
238
00:12:32,823 --> 00:12:33,123
Hello, Jordan.
239
00:12:34,985 --> 00:12:36,325
Sorry, what?
240
00:12:36,326 --> 00:12:37,326
I said...
(TURNS OFF MUSIC)
241
00:12:37,327 --> 00:12:39,857
(WITH DRAMATIC ACCENT)
Hello, Jordan.
242
00:12:50,070 --> 00:12:52,900
Whoa!
243
00:12:52,903 --> 00:12:53,143
(SCREAMS)
244
00:12:57,808 --> 00:12:59,408
(STRAINING)
245
00:13:00,310 --> 00:13:01,110
(PANTING)
246
00:13:02,512 --> 00:13:03,952
Thanks for
the help.
247
00:13:06,917 --> 00:13:09,317
Locked. Of course.
248
00:13:16,827 --> 00:13:18,967
(SQUEAKING)
249
00:13:18,969 --> 00:13:21,429
You again.
Although I like you
better than him.
250
00:13:23,333 --> 00:13:24,503
Yes.
251
00:13:24,504 --> 00:13:25,044
Hey... (CHUCKLING)
Just...
252
00:13:27,437 --> 00:13:30,077
Emma.
Jordan.
253
00:13:30,080 --> 00:13:31,080
You are the girl
of my dreams.
254
00:13:31,481 --> 00:13:34,281
I know.
255
00:13:34,284 --> 00:13:38,124
Please, say you'll
be mine or I don't
know what I'll do.
256
00:13:39,489 --> 00:13:42,249
Please, please, please,
please, please...
257
00:13:42,252 --> 00:13:45,102
Please, get away
from me, little girl!
258
00:13:45,095 --> 00:13:47,395
You don't understand.
We're soul mates.
259
00:13:47,397 --> 00:13:49,597
I took a quiz
in Leopard Beat
that proves it!
260
00:13:51,261 --> 00:13:53,601
You're 13! I'm 19!
261
00:13:53,603 --> 00:13:55,043
But I'm tall for my age!
262
00:13:55,035 --> 00:13:56,035
Whoa!
263
00:13:56,907 --> 00:13:58,407
Are you okay?
264
00:13:58,408 --> 00:13:59,468
(GRUNTING)
265
00:13:59,469 --> 00:14:02,939
I will be, as soon as
I'm away from you!
266
00:14:04,174 --> 00:14:05,154
So you'll text me?
267
00:14:08,278 --> 00:14:10,048
He's never going
to text me.
268
00:14:11,051 --> 00:14:12,921
Oh...
269
00:14:12,923 --> 00:14:14,253
Sweetie,
are you okay?
270
00:14:15,625 --> 00:14:17,485
I guess so.
271
00:14:17,487 --> 00:14:18,927
Good.
272
00:14:18,929 --> 00:14:21,059
(SHOUTING)
Are you crazy?
273
00:14:21,061 --> 00:14:22,961
What kind of a person
locks another person
274
00:14:22,963 --> 00:14:24,943
in a closet
and makes them
climb out of a window
275
00:14:24,935 --> 00:14:26,295
where they have to
do the splits 30 floors up?
276
00:14:26,296 --> 00:14:27,466
And I'm not even gonna
bring up the rat!
277
00:14:30,040 --> 00:14:31,170
Sorry.
278
00:14:31,171 --> 00:14:32,541
Inadequate apology accepted.
279
00:14:35,575 --> 00:14:38,975
And now that I've
gotten that out
of the way, come here.
280
00:14:38,979 --> 00:14:41,179
Don't be sad.
281
00:14:41,181 --> 00:14:43,251
You're an
incredible person,
282
00:14:43,253 --> 00:14:44,613
and before you know it,
283
00:14:44,614 --> 00:14:46,624
you're gonna be
breaking hearts the way
Luke breaks wind.
284
00:14:46,616 --> 00:14:47,916
Constantly
and everywhere.
285
00:14:51,061 --> 00:14:53,621
I guess we've both
been pretty silly
today, huh?
286
00:14:53,623 --> 00:14:56,073
Like Jordan would
look at either one of us.
287
00:14:56,066 --> 00:14:59,566
True. I mean, I'm just
a kid, and you're just...
288
00:14:59,569 --> 00:15:00,569
You.
289
00:15:03,603 --> 00:15:07,183
Hey, Jordan.
(CHUCKLES NERVOUSLY)
We found your cell phone.
290
00:15:07,177 --> 00:15:09,637
Thanks, I was
looking for that.
Where'd you find it?
291
00:15:09,639 --> 00:15:11,639
In the bathroom.
In the couch.
292
00:15:11,641 --> 00:15:12,981
In the couch
in the bathroom.
293
00:15:15,015 --> 00:15:17,585
Huh. I didn't notice
a couch in the bathroom.
294
00:15:17,587 --> 00:15:19,617
Well, start
paying attention!
295
00:15:23,523 --> 00:15:26,963
Jordan, I'm sorry if
Emma was bothering you.
296
00:15:26,957 --> 00:15:30,997
Oh, no problem.
But I wouldn't mind
if you bothered me.
297
00:15:31,561 --> 00:15:34,131
Would you like to go
out to dinner tonight?
298
00:15:34,634 --> 00:15:36,374
(SQUEALING) Me?
299
00:15:36,366 --> 00:15:38,136
(STAMMERING)
300
00:15:38,138 --> 00:15:40,508
How about you just
hold that thought
for a second.
301
00:15:41,241 --> 00:15:46,321
Ooh!
302
00:15:46,316 --> 00:15:48,446
Hey, Emma! Hey.
303
00:15:48,448 --> 00:15:50,518
Remember that time
we were saying Jordan
would never
304
00:15:50,520 --> 00:15:54,180
want to go out with us?
Well, he just asked me
out to dinner.
305
00:15:54,184 --> 00:15:55,194
You cool with that?
Thanks.
306
00:15:55,185 --> 00:15:56,585
What?
307
00:15:56,586 --> 00:15:58,226
I'm sorry! He asked me.
308
00:16:01,331 --> 00:16:04,461
Okay, look.
If it really bothers you,
I won't go out with him.
309
00:16:04,464 --> 00:16:05,604
It really bothers me.
310
00:16:05,595 --> 00:16:08,395
Too bad!
311
00:16:08,398 --> 00:16:11,038
It's Jordan Taylor!
What would you do
if you were me?
312
00:16:11,041 --> 00:16:15,451
Well, I guess...
I'd go out with him.
313
00:16:15,445 --> 00:16:17,975
Thanks.
314
00:16:17,977 --> 00:16:18,307
You know,
that's really
nice of you.
315
00:16:25,185 --> 00:16:26,985
Hey, Leopard Beat
Tattle Tiger,
316
00:16:26,986 --> 00:16:29,216
guess where Jordan Taylor
is right this minute.
317
00:16:31,121 --> 00:16:32,221
Have fun on
your date, Jessie.
318
00:16:38,628 --> 00:16:42,998
Whoa! You look beautiful.
You going to a funeral
or something?
319
00:16:44,704 --> 00:16:47,444
No. I had an emergency
salon session.
320
00:16:47,437 --> 00:16:49,777
I have a date with
Rufus T. Firefly.
321
00:16:49,779 --> 00:16:54,509
That bum? I've stepped
in things that look
better than him.
322
00:16:54,514 --> 00:16:56,224
Whoa, whoa, whoa!
You can't come in here!
323
00:17:02,021 --> 00:17:05,201
What's wrong, Jessie?
Is the lobby a little
crowded with
324
00:17:05,195 --> 00:17:07,425
Jordan Taylor fans?
325
00:17:07,427 --> 00:17:10,127
You told people
Jordan is here?
326
00:17:10,130 --> 00:17:13,400
You risked destroying
your dad's movie
just to ruin my date?
327
00:17:13,403 --> 00:17:14,763
Well, gee, when you
put it that way
it sounds awful.
328
00:17:14,764 --> 00:17:16,144
(INTERCOM BUZZING)
329
00:17:16,136 --> 00:17:18,806
TONY: Building-wide alert!
330
00:17:18,808 --> 00:17:21,468
The paparazzi are coming!
The paparazzi are coming!
331
00:17:21,471 --> 00:17:24,471
Tell my ma I love...
(GROANING)
332
00:17:27,617 --> 00:17:28,217
(GIRLS SHRIEKING)
333
00:17:32,182 --> 00:17:37,132
You're not leaving.
You're going down with
the rest of the family.
334
00:17:37,127 --> 00:17:40,127
We're here to help.
If they want a piece
of Jordan Taylor,
335
00:17:40,130 --> 00:17:41,760
they can have
his boring clothes!
336
00:17:41,761 --> 00:17:45,501
Don't throw his
tighty-whities till you see
the whites of their eyes!
337
00:17:45,495 --> 00:17:48,265
Jordan's not here,
but you can have
his clothes!
338
00:17:50,170 --> 00:17:51,340
And his ducky!
339
00:17:54,544 --> 00:17:58,214
It's working!
The beast is feeding!
340
00:18:03,313 --> 00:18:05,323
Isn't this nicer
than a restaurant?
341
00:18:05,315 --> 00:18:08,155
It's so peaceful
and private.
342
00:18:08,158 --> 00:18:10,458
(HELICOPTER APPROACHING)
343
00:18:10,460 --> 00:18:12,520
What's that?
344
00:18:12,522 --> 00:18:14,092
I don't hear
anything!
345
00:18:16,196 --> 00:18:19,096
It's the paparazzi!
Coming for me!
346
00:18:19,829 --> 00:18:22,299
Not necessarily.
347
00:18:22,302 --> 00:18:25,182
There's a girl
downstairs who looks
just like Justin Bieber.
348
00:18:25,175 --> 00:18:26,805
They're probably trying
to get a picture of her.
349
00:18:33,413 --> 00:18:34,613
Okay, so it is you.
350
00:18:36,416 --> 00:18:37,416
(ALL SCREAMING)
351
00:18:43,353 --> 00:18:45,663
Ow!
352
00:18:45,655 --> 00:18:48,555
Sorry, Dad.
She thought you were
a crazed fan.
353
00:18:48,558 --> 00:18:50,458
No, I didn't.
I just like
throwing stuff.
354
00:18:51,901 --> 00:18:53,901
What is going on?
355
00:18:53,903 --> 00:18:56,613
First, I have to fight
my way through
photographers,
356
00:18:56,606 --> 00:19:00,266
now these crazed fans.
They stole my watch!
357
00:19:02,572 --> 00:19:03,372
And my left sock!
358
00:19:06,746 --> 00:19:09,346
Someone in your family
ratted me out to the press.
359
00:19:10,280 --> 00:19:10,880
You all betrayed me!
360
00:19:10,880 --> 00:19:13,250
Jordan, I'm sorry,
but let's not
overreact here.
361
00:19:13,253 --> 00:19:15,893
Yeah! It's not
that bad.
362
00:19:15,885 --> 00:19:17,825
Jordan! Jordan!
363
00:19:17,827 --> 00:19:18,827
(ALL CLAMORING)
364
00:19:22,192 --> 00:19:24,332
So this bothers you?
365
00:19:26,896 --> 00:19:29,366
I knew I shouldn't
have trusted you.
366
00:19:29,369 --> 00:19:31,799
(CELL PHONE RINGING)
367
00:19:31,801 --> 00:19:35,811
Hello? Prince William!
368
00:19:35,805 --> 00:19:37,345
What? No!
Why would I call you
a doody-head?
369
00:19:39,949 --> 00:19:41,609
That was weird.
370
00:19:41,611 --> 00:19:43,711
Jordan, I'm sorry...
No, Morgan.
371
00:19:43,713 --> 00:19:45,223
Okay, I'm
out of here.
372
00:19:45,215 --> 00:19:46,585
I'm gonna go pack my stuff.
373
00:19:46,586 --> 00:19:47,756
(KNOCKING ON WINDOW)
374
00:19:48,187 --> 00:19:50,217
That's not gonna
take long.
375
00:19:54,224 --> 00:19:56,974
All right, who told
the world that Jordan
was here?
376
00:20:00,770 --> 00:20:03,430
I did it.
377
00:20:03,433 --> 00:20:05,543
I was so excited
about having a date
with Jordan
378
00:20:05,535 --> 00:20:07,705
I couldn't resist texting
Darla back home.
379
00:20:07,707 --> 00:20:09,377
She must have put it
on the Internet,
380
00:20:09,379 --> 00:20:11,679
which apparently spreads
private information.
381
00:20:13,683 --> 00:20:17,423
Jessie, I told
everybody to keep
it a secret!
382
00:20:17,417 --> 00:20:20,547
I know.
And I'm really,
really sorry.
383
00:20:20,550 --> 00:20:24,620
No, I'm sorry.
I tipped off Leopard Beat
to ruin Jessie's date
384
00:20:24,624 --> 00:20:25,434
with Jordan.
385
00:20:26,796 --> 00:20:28,356
Jessie was lying
to protect me.
386
00:20:28,358 --> 00:20:33,328
Actually, I wasn't lying.
I really did tell Darla.
Blabbermouth.
387
00:20:35,735 --> 00:20:37,965
And I may have
posted something
388
00:20:37,967 --> 00:20:42,907
about hanging out
with my "best bud" Jordan.
389
00:20:42,912 --> 00:20:46,782
And I told Millie the Mermaid,
and she can't keep
her mouth shut.
390
00:20:47,647 --> 00:20:52,447
I may have told
a few people
in Central Park.
391
00:20:52,452 --> 00:20:54,482
And the entire Indian
subcontinent.
392
00:20:57,487 --> 00:21:00,357
Well, I am a little
disappointed in
all of you.
393
00:21:01,791 --> 00:21:03,731
But not that
disappointed,
394
00:21:03,733 --> 00:21:04,933
because I told
all the guys at
my gym, so...
395
00:21:09,899 --> 00:21:12,669
(MOANING)
396
00:21:12,672 --> 00:21:16,282
It's so beautiful how
you all came clean
to protect each other.
397
00:21:17,777 --> 00:21:20,477
You know, I really
can't blame you.
398
00:21:20,480 --> 00:21:22,280
I'd tell if I was
staying with me, too!
399
00:21:22,281 --> 00:21:25,361
Wait, so, does this
mean you're gonna be
in Morgan's movie?
400
00:21:27,016 --> 00:21:28,356
Absolutely.
(ALL EXCLAIMING)
401
00:21:28,358 --> 00:21:30,558
I'm just loving
all this love.
402
00:21:31,991 --> 00:21:32,861
Congratulations, sir.
403
00:21:32,862 --> 00:21:36,832
Celebratory hot
chocolate all around.
404
00:21:36,826 --> 00:21:40,596
Bertram, you work too hard.
Take the week off.
405
00:21:40,600 --> 00:21:42,470
If you insist, sir.
406
00:21:42,472 --> 00:21:44,072
Yes!
407
00:21:45,635 --> 00:21:47,575
(CELL PHONE RINGING)
408
00:21:47,577 --> 00:21:50,577
Hello? Hello,
Mr. President.
409
00:21:51,681 --> 00:21:54,481
No, I did not call you
a poopy-pants.
410
00:21:59,589 --> 00:22:01,789
That crazy mob
tore off my epaulets!
411
00:22:03,423 --> 00:22:05,563
You know what?
Your hair still
looks great.
412
00:22:07,757 --> 00:22:10,357
And I'm going to make
sure to mention you when
I win my Oscar.
413
00:22:12,031 --> 00:22:13,461
Thanks, Mr. Ross.
414
00:22:13,463 --> 00:22:17,043
My pleasure, Timmy.
415
00:22:17,036 --> 00:22:19,936
I made the kids some
"thank goodness
we're not famous" cookies.
416
00:22:19,939 --> 00:22:20,339
(GASPS)
417
00:22:24,444 --> 00:22:28,954
Oh, my goodness!
I cannot believe I did that!
I feel terrible!
418
00:22:28,948 --> 00:22:31,378
Hey! I'm sorry!
Have some cookies!
30073
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