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1
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Synced and corrected by Katniss Everdeen
www.addic7ed.com
2
00:00:05,305 --> 00:00:08,240
Are you sure this isn't too mean?
3
00:00:08,242 --> 00:00:09,341
No!
4
00:00:09,343 --> 00:00:12,945
Haven't you ever heard the saying,
"The ends justify the mean"?
5
00:00:13,947 --> 00:00:15,647
Oh, yeah. All right, let's go.
6
00:00:18,952 --> 00:00:20,719
(Cell phone chiming)
7
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(Grunting)
8
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(Chuckles)
9
00:00:28,728 --> 00:00:32,197
Hmm, blocked number.
10
00:00:32,199 --> 00:00:34,666
Oh, well. Live on the edge, Bertram!
11
00:00:35,468 --> 00:00:36,802
(Chuckles) Hello?
12
00:00:36,804 --> 00:00:38,504
(With New York accent)
Hello, is this Bertram Winkle?
13
00:00:38,506 --> 00:00:39,571
Speaking.
14
00:00:41,274 --> 00:00:44,910
I'm calling from Manhattan's
number one opera station, WOPR.
15
00:00:44,912 --> 00:00:47,913
Really? I love Whopper!
16
00:00:47,915 --> 00:00:51,483
Thanks to your faithful
listenership and many,
17
00:00:51,485 --> 00:00:54,853
many emails on how to improve our playlist,
18
00:00:54,855 --> 00:00:58,357
you have won dinner
for two at Le Bon Repas!
19
00:00:58,359 --> 00:01:01,060
(Gasps) Oh, my gosh! Dinner for two!
20
00:01:01,062 --> 00:01:06,432
Wait. Do I have to bring someone, or
can I just eat the two meals myself?
21
00:01:06,434 --> 00:01:08,634
Uh, that's between you and the management.
22
00:01:09,969 --> 00:01:11,370
But there's more!
23
00:01:11,372 --> 00:01:13,238
Ooh, dinner for three?
24
00:01:13,240 --> 00:01:14,306
No, geez!
25
00:01:15,608 --> 00:01:18,544
The "more" is that celebrity
chef Anthony Monsanto
26
00:01:18,546 --> 00:01:21,914
will personally serve you his
famous 12-course tasting menu.
27
00:01:21,916 --> 00:01:26,018
And to give you a preview, he's
sending over the first course right now!
28
00:01:26,020 --> 00:01:28,287
(Exclaims gleefully) (Elevator bell dings)
29
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What took you so long? (Chuckles)
30
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Bon appetit, sucker! (Exclaims)
31
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(All laughing)
32
00:01:38,364 --> 00:01:40,466
You just got served!
33
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That's it!
34
00:01:42,870 --> 00:01:46,371
I am done dealing with you horrible kids.
35
00:01:46,373 --> 00:01:49,441
Plus, I am sick and tired of
being treated like a servant!
36
00:01:49,443 --> 00:01:50,509
You are a servant.
37
00:01:50,511 --> 00:01:52,611
Not anymore. I quit!
38
00:01:52,613 --> 00:01:54,279
(Emma gasps)
39
00:01:54,281 --> 00:01:57,049
That's the last time we pretend
to give him something nice.
40
00:01:58,685 --> 00:02:01,920
I have to pack my things
first, but after that I quit!
41
00:02:03,923 --> 00:02:07,025
♪ Oh, oh, oh, oh Oh, oh, oh, oh
42
00:02:07,027 --> 00:02:10,662
♪ Hey Jessie, hey Jessie
43
00:02:10,664 --> 00:02:13,999
♪ It feels like a party every day
44
00:02:14,001 --> 00:02:17,769
♪ Hey Jessie, hey Jessie
45
00:02:17,771 --> 00:02:21,507
♪ But they keep on
pulling me every which way
46
00:02:21,509 --> 00:02:24,910
♪ Hey Jessie, hey Jessie
47
00:02:24,912 --> 00:02:28,547
♪ My whole world is
changing Turning around
48
00:02:28,549 --> 00:02:32,317
♪ They got me going crazy
Yeah, they're shaking the ground
49
00:02:32,319 --> 00:02:35,654
♪ But they took a chance
on the new girl in town
50
00:02:35,656 --> 00:02:39,424
♪ And I don't want to
let them down, down, down
51
00:02:39,426 --> 00:02:40,592
♪ Hey Jessie
52
00:02:42,829 --> 00:02:44,663
♪ Hey Jessie
53
00:02:46,566 --> 00:02:50,002
♪ It feels like a party every day
54
00:02:50,004 --> 00:02:53,505
♪ Hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, Jessie ♪
55
00:02:57,577 --> 00:03:00,412
Thanks for helping me study for
my foreign language mid-term.
56
00:03:00,414 --> 00:03:01,780
I didn't know you spoke German.
57
00:03:01,782 --> 00:03:03,148
Oh, I do not.
58
00:03:03,150 --> 00:03:06,852
But your college is not accredited,
so how hard can this test be?
59
00:03:07,520 --> 00:03:08,754
Fair enough.
60
00:03:08,756 --> 00:03:11,523
They actually offer
Conversational Pig Latin.
61
00:03:11,525 --> 00:03:13,091
Jessie, something horrible happened!
62
00:03:13,093 --> 00:03:14,660
Whoa, whoa, whoa! Okay.
63
00:03:14,662 --> 00:03:15,994
It's not that horrible.
64
00:03:15,996 --> 00:03:18,597
Uh, it's not like that
time we lost Ravi camping.
65
00:03:18,599 --> 00:03:20,799
That was a very uncomfortable night.
66
00:03:20,801 --> 00:03:24,036
Raccoons are not as cuddly or
chatty as they appear in cartoons.
67
00:03:25,872 --> 00:03:27,873
Luke's right. It's not a big deal.
68
00:03:27,875 --> 00:03:28,941
Mmm-mmm.
69
00:03:28,943 --> 00:03:29,942
Uh-uh-uh.
70
00:03:29,944 --> 00:03:32,077
Less walking. More talking.
71
00:03:32,079 --> 00:03:34,446
Bertram quit. See? No biggie. (Chuckles)
72
00:03:34,448 --> 00:03:35,514
What?
73
00:03:35,516 --> 00:03:37,049
No it is a big biggie!
74
00:03:37,051 --> 00:03:38,483
Why did he quit?
75
00:03:38,485 --> 00:03:39,785
Well, we sorta kinda...
76
00:03:39,787 --> 00:03:40,986
(Muffled protests) No idea, really.
77
00:03:40,988 --> 00:03:42,588
He's just weird.
78
00:03:46,993 --> 00:03:48,627
Wow!
79
00:03:48,629 --> 00:03:51,830
I still can't believe
Bertram actually quit.
80
00:03:51,832 --> 00:03:53,632
Guys, relax. He'll be back.
81
00:03:53,634 --> 00:03:55,167
He could never get another job.
82
00:03:55,169 --> 00:03:56,468
Guess what?
83
00:03:56,470 --> 00:03:57,769
I got another job!
84
00:03:57,771 --> 00:03:59,171
(Bertram chuckles)
85
00:03:59,173 --> 00:04:02,074
Just here to grab Polly the pitcher.
86
00:04:02,076 --> 00:04:04,977
Who would be desperate
enough to hire Bertram?
87
00:04:04,979 --> 00:04:06,678
Hello, urchins.
88
00:04:06,680 --> 00:04:07,746
Urchin Keeper.
89
00:04:09,015 --> 00:04:10,449
Have you heard the news?
90
00:04:10,451 --> 00:04:12,918
I've got myself a new heaping hunk o' help.
91
00:04:14,787 --> 00:04:17,022
Hi, boss. Hi, bertie. (Giggles)
92
00:04:18,024 --> 00:04:20,759
See you around, urchins!
93
00:04:23,563 --> 00:04:26,031
Bertram working for Mrs. Chesterfield?
94
00:04:26,033 --> 00:04:27,899
This is like a bad dream.
95
00:04:27,901 --> 00:04:29,001
Somebody pinch me.
96
00:04:29,003 --> 00:04:30,969
I'm on it. Somebody else.
97
00:04:37,510 --> 00:04:40,045
I guess Bertram is not
coming back after all.
98
00:04:40,047 --> 00:04:44,783
So, who's gonna occasionally clean
stuff and defrost meals for us?
99
00:04:45,818 --> 00:04:48,120
Guys, do we even really need a butler?
100
00:04:48,122 --> 00:04:50,022
We could just clean up after ourselves.
101
00:04:50,024 --> 00:04:52,057
Yeah! How hard can it be?
102
00:04:54,093 --> 00:04:56,194
Okay!
103
00:04:56,863 --> 00:04:58,463
How did this happen?
104
00:04:58,465 --> 00:05:01,300
It has only been an hour
and we never left the couch.
105
00:05:03,036 --> 00:05:05,103
Maybe Bertram really did do stuff.
106
00:05:05,105 --> 00:05:07,105
Yeah, you know what he did?
107
00:05:07,107 --> 00:05:08,540
He walked out on us!
108
00:05:08,542 --> 00:05:09,741
To work for the enemy!
109
00:05:09,743 --> 00:05:11,643
How could he just leave us like that?
110
00:05:11,645 --> 00:05:12,711
Right?
111
00:05:12,713 --> 00:05:17,482
I mean, sure, we were rude, and
messy, and took him for granted,
112
00:05:17,484 --> 00:05:20,185
but we are so gosh darn cute!
113
00:05:21,988 --> 00:05:23,955
Hey, where's Zuri?
114
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Zuri: I'm under here!
115
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And we need a new butler, stat!
116
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Good morning, Mrs. Chesterfield.
117
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Please, Bertie, call me Rhoda.
118
00:05:39,106 --> 00:05:43,241
Okay. But remember, you promised
we'd keep things professional.
119
00:05:43,243 --> 00:05:45,744
I'll let you know if you cross a line.
120
00:05:47,714 --> 00:05:49,748
So, what would you like for breakfast?
121
00:05:49,750 --> 00:05:53,518
Bertie, don't worry your handsome
little head about cooking.
122
00:05:53,520 --> 00:05:55,020
(Chuckles) (Yells) Martha!
123
00:05:57,523 --> 00:05:59,558
Oh, thank you! Mmm-hmm.
124
00:05:59,560 --> 00:06:01,793
But if you have a maid,
why do you need a butler?
125
00:06:01,795 --> 00:06:05,030
Oh, I do like to have
a lot of help on hand.
126
00:06:05,032 --> 00:06:06,565
And a lot of hands on the help.
127
00:06:06,567 --> 00:06:07,899
(Giggles)
128
00:06:10,203 --> 00:06:11,737
But, I...
129
00:06:11,739 --> 00:06:15,040
Bertie, Bertie, you're
working for Rhoda now!
130
00:06:15,042 --> 00:06:16,108
(Chuckles)
131
00:06:16,110 --> 00:06:18,043
Why not take a nap?
132
00:06:18,045 --> 00:06:19,811
I know you're a nap man.
133
00:06:19,813 --> 00:06:22,280
Well, I have been up for an hour already.
134
00:06:22,282 --> 00:06:24,082
Uh-huh. (Chuckles)
135
00:06:24,084 --> 00:06:28,086
Oh, I was so glad I could
rescue you from those
136
00:06:28,088 --> 00:06:31,022
rotten ragamuffins and their noxious nanny.
137
00:06:31,024 --> 00:06:32,657
They were so mean to me.
138
00:06:32,659 --> 00:06:34,092
Yeah.
139
00:06:34,094 --> 00:06:37,262
Yes, yes, the mean children are awful.
140
00:06:37,264 --> 00:06:40,999
But you're here now,
loved and appreciated.
141
00:06:41,001 --> 00:06:41,628
(Sighs)
142
00:06:41,659 --> 00:06:44,166
This is the best job ever. (Chuckles)
143
00:06:46,072 --> 00:06:47,739
Mrs. Chesterfield: Martha, hush!
144
00:06:47,741 --> 00:06:49,875
Must you walk like a truck driver?
145
00:06:51,644 --> 00:06:53,078
So hard to find good help.
146
00:06:53,080 --> 00:06:55,080
Yes! Yes! (Sighs)
147
00:06:59,218 --> 00:07:01,086
He's the best one yet.
148
00:07:01,088 --> 00:07:04,790
Yeah, you've got to be impressed with a
guy who served appetizers on the Mayflower.
149
00:07:08,094 --> 00:07:09,161
Hello.
150
00:07:09,163 --> 00:07:13,165
I am Roger Bevans, and I am here
to apply for the butler position.
151
00:07:13,167 --> 00:07:15,000
Gods be praised!
152
00:07:15,002 --> 00:07:19,004
He is neat and has already eschewed
the use of two contractions.
153
00:07:19,006 --> 00:07:20,338
(Croaking)
154
00:07:21,073 --> 00:07:25,677
Oh, an Asian water monitor, the
noblest of all the lizards.
155
00:07:25,679 --> 00:07:27,245
Bertram, who? (Chuckles)
156
00:07:28,181 --> 00:07:29,915
Hi, I'm Jessie. I'm the nanny.
157
00:07:29,917 --> 00:07:31,650
And this is the Ross Family.
158
00:07:31,652 --> 00:07:33,351
How do you do?
159
00:07:33,353 --> 00:07:34,319
Uh, why don't you tell us
a little bit about yourself?
160
00:07:34,321 --> 00:07:36,021
Certainly.
161
00:07:36,023 --> 00:07:40,058
I have a degree in home economics
and food science from the Sorbonne.
162
00:07:40,060 --> 00:07:42,727
And I've worked for some of the
finest households in three continents.
163
00:07:42,729 --> 00:07:44,129
Wow!
164
00:07:44,131 --> 00:07:45,697
That's every continent!
165
00:07:47,633 --> 00:07:51,069
So, Mr. Fancy Britches, why
do you want to work here?
166
00:07:51,071 --> 00:07:52,085
Zuri!
167
00:07:52,116 --> 00:07:56,141
(Clears throat) That is a good
question, Mr. fancy britches.
168
00:07:56,143 --> 00:07:59,277
Let's just say, I enjoy a challenge.
169
00:07:59,279 --> 00:08:01,446
Perfect! I'm a challenge.
170
00:08:02,782 --> 00:08:04,015
Yeah, he's not kidding.
171
00:08:04,017 --> 00:08:05,937
His room is so dirty, the
cockroaches complained.
172
00:08:07,053 --> 00:08:08,253
You're hired. (Chuckles)
173
00:08:09,989 --> 00:08:11,122
(Bertram humming)
174
00:08:13,092 --> 00:08:17,229
Bertie, I brought you
something sweet to nibble on.
175
00:08:17,231 --> 00:08:18,430
And some grapes.
176
00:08:20,066 --> 00:08:21,900
Uh-uh-uh!
177
00:08:21,902 --> 00:08:23,168
Allow me.
178
00:08:26,405 --> 00:08:29,307
I feel a little uncomfortable with this.
179
00:08:29,309 --> 00:08:31,877
Well then let's get a
little more comfortable.
180
00:08:31,879 --> 00:08:33,178
(Chuckles)
181
00:08:33,180 --> 00:08:35,881
Is it getting hot in here? (Gasps)
182
00:08:35,883 --> 00:08:38,116
You feel it too? (Chuckles)
183
00:08:38,118 --> 00:08:40,952
Oh! Isn't this fun?
184
00:08:40,954 --> 00:08:43,121
Bertie, I bought you a present.
185
00:08:43,123 --> 00:08:44,322
You did? Mmm-hmm.
186
00:08:47,360 --> 00:08:50,161
It's your new uniform.
187
00:08:50,163 --> 00:08:51,084
Where's the rest of it?
188
00:08:51,109 --> 00:08:53,465
Wait till you see what I
make you wear in the summer.
189
00:08:53,467 --> 00:08:55,367
(Chuckling)
190
00:08:55,369 --> 00:08:57,435
Now go put it on.
191
00:08:57,437 --> 00:09:00,005
Oh, look! Uh, your tulips need attention.
192
00:09:00,007 --> 00:09:01,940
I thought you'd never notice.
193
00:09:03,242 --> 00:09:04,276
(Makes kissing noises)
194
00:09:04,278 --> 00:09:05,944
(Exclaiming)
195
00:09:10,283 --> 00:09:12,083
Breakfast is served!
196
00:09:13,152 --> 00:09:14,920
Whoa! Is all this just for us,
197
00:09:14,922 --> 00:09:17,203
or did Kate Middleton finally
accept my brunch invitation?
198
00:09:18,124 --> 00:09:20,992
A syrup fountain for the pancakes?
199
00:09:20,994 --> 00:09:23,028
Finally, somebody gets me!
200
00:09:24,397 --> 00:09:27,198
Ooh! Is that rat a l'orange? (Croaking)
201
00:09:27,200 --> 00:09:29,801
Remember, Mrs. Kipling, pinky-claw up.
202
00:09:29,803 --> 00:09:31,303
(Croaking)
203
00:09:32,271 --> 00:09:33,338
Jessie? Yeah?
204
00:09:33,340 --> 00:09:34,940
I hear you're taking German.
205
00:09:34,942 --> 00:09:37,075
I'd be happy to help you
study for your test later.
206
00:09:37,077 --> 00:09:39,911
Oh, thanks but I'm just
taking this class pass-fail.
207
00:09:39,913 --> 00:09:41,846
You know, less studying,
more time with the kids.
208
00:09:41,848 --> 00:09:43,281
I insist you let me tutor you.
209
00:09:43,283 --> 00:09:45,984
After all, one does want to do one's best.
210
00:09:45,986 --> 00:09:47,919
Just say "yes" so he can keep cookin'.
211
00:09:47,921 --> 00:09:49,354
(In British accent) One
does want more pancakes.
212
00:09:49,356 --> 00:09:50,822
(All chuckle)
213
00:09:50,824 --> 00:09:52,357
Yeah, less chatter, more batter.
214
00:09:52,359 --> 00:09:53,425
(All chuckle)
215
00:09:55,194 --> 00:09:57,295
Hey, guys, so, uh...
216
00:09:57,297 --> 00:09:59,097
I made a big mis...
217
00:10:00,399 --> 00:10:02,000
Who's the dandy?
218
00:10:03,102 --> 00:10:04,502
Bertram, meet Roger.
219
00:10:04,504 --> 00:10:05,971
He's our new butler.
220
00:10:05,973 --> 00:10:08,306
He makes perfect
pancakes. (Jessie chuckles)
221
00:10:08,308 --> 00:10:11,943
Sure, but can he make smiley faces
out of chocolate chips, like I can?
222
00:10:11,945 --> 00:10:13,011
Better!
223
00:10:13,013 --> 00:10:15,080
Say hello to the Mona Lisa!
224
00:10:15,082 --> 00:10:16,414
(All clapping)
225
00:10:18,150 --> 00:10:21,987
Yeah, I'd show you
blueberry Derek Jeter, but...
226
00:10:21,989 --> 00:10:24,889
I ate him. (Chuckles)
227
00:10:24,891 --> 00:10:27,892
Um, Bertram, would you like
to have breakfast with us?
228
00:10:28,427 --> 00:10:30,228
No, thank you.
229
00:10:30,230 --> 00:10:33,198
It seems like you're all getting
along just fine without me.
230
00:10:33,200 --> 00:10:35,433
I, um, only came back to...
231
00:10:36,135 --> 00:10:37,802
Uh...
232
00:10:37,804 --> 00:10:39,571
Grab my spatula cozies.
233
00:10:39,573 --> 00:10:42,941
Personally, I like to
let my utensils air dry.
234
00:10:42,943 --> 00:10:44,876
(Gasps) Air dry?
235
00:10:44,878 --> 00:10:46,111
Are you an animal?
236
00:10:47,980 --> 00:10:48,994
Well...
237
00:10:49,025 --> 00:10:53,081
I hope you and your water spots
will all be very happy together!
238
00:10:55,154 --> 00:10:56,221
(Door closing)
239
00:10:56,422 --> 00:10:58,056
Well...
240
00:10:58,058 --> 00:11:01,226
Someone's got his tea towel in a twist!
241
00:11:01,228 --> 00:11:04,896
Who's ready for the Eiffel Tower of bacon?
242
00:11:04,898 --> 00:11:06,197
(All gasping)
243
00:11:06,199 --> 00:11:07,565
Wow!
244
00:11:07,567 --> 00:11:10,101
He combined my two favorite things.
245
00:11:10,103 --> 00:11:13,004
Nineteenth century French
architecture and pork!
246
00:11:20,046 --> 00:11:22,213
(Television playing) (Vacuuming)
247
00:11:24,216 --> 00:11:27,419
Uh, Roger? Do you think
you could keep it down?
248
00:11:27,421 --> 00:11:30,522
We're trying to watch a movie!
249
00:11:30,524 --> 00:11:33,892
I don't know how you can see
anything through this fog of filth!
250
00:11:33,894 --> 00:11:37,028
Ugh! Come on, guys, let's go make a snack.
251
00:11:37,030 --> 00:11:39,097
No! You can't go in there!
252
00:11:39,099 --> 00:11:41,032
I've already cleaned the kitchen today.
253
00:11:41,034 --> 00:11:44,869
I hope that rule does not
apply to the bathrooms.
254
00:11:44,871 --> 00:11:46,404
Hey, Roger, why don't you take a break?
255
00:11:46,406 --> 00:11:48,139
Yeah, play a game with us.
256
00:11:48,141 --> 00:11:50,975
No play until work is done.
257
00:11:50,977 --> 00:11:54,279
Bertram always used to drop
everything to play hide-and-seek.
258
00:11:54,281 --> 00:11:58,083
Actually, now that I think about it,
he may have just been hiding from us.
259
00:11:58,085 --> 00:11:59,384
(Squeaking and banging)
260
00:11:59,386 --> 00:12:01,152
(Jessie groaning)
261
00:12:03,122 --> 00:12:04,889
Hey, Roger.
262
00:12:04,891 --> 00:12:06,382
Can you put up a sign
when you wax the floors?
263
00:12:06,413 --> 00:12:08,293
I banked off the island
and slid into the stove.
264
00:12:10,062 --> 00:12:12,130
You didn't leave any scuff marks, did you?
265
00:12:12,132 --> 00:12:15,200
No, but I might have left some
blood and a piece of my elbow.
266
00:12:16,402 --> 00:12:18,269
So, Jessie, did you have a chance
267
00:12:18,271 --> 00:12:20,505
to study the German
textbooks I left on your desk?
268
00:12:20,507 --> 00:12:22,974
Uh, yeah. Thanks. I scanned them.
269
00:12:22,976 --> 00:12:24,576
Scanning isn't studying.
270
00:12:24,578 --> 00:12:27,345
Scanning is for photocopiers
and lazy students.
271
00:12:27,347 --> 00:12:30,348
I... Look Roger, I don't really
need to speak perfect German.
272
00:12:30,350 --> 00:12:32,317
Remember, this test is just pass-fail.
273
00:12:32,319 --> 00:12:34,519
But you're setting an
example for these children.
274
00:12:34,521 --> 00:12:37,355
Do you want them to
just pass-fail at life?
275
00:12:37,357 --> 00:12:38,957
Or excel?
276
00:12:38,959 --> 00:12:41,259
Both: Pass-fail! Excel!
277
00:12:44,063 --> 00:12:45,130
Excel!
278
00:12:45,698 --> 00:12:47,098
Of course you do.
279
00:12:47,100 --> 00:12:51,503
Now, trot on upstairs and don't come down
until you know all the irregular verbs.
280
00:12:51,505 --> 00:12:52,937
You're an irregular verb!
281
00:12:53,606 --> 00:12:55,206
Pardon me?
282
00:12:55,208 --> 00:12:56,975
I said, "Sorry to disturb."
283
00:12:58,511 --> 00:13:00,245
(Television playing)
284
00:13:03,482 --> 00:13:04,482
(Vacuuming)
285
00:13:09,088 --> 00:13:10,955
I knew you'd be back, Bertie.
286
00:13:10,957 --> 00:13:13,191
They always come back.
287
00:13:13,193 --> 00:13:15,126
Usually because of
an iron-clad pre-nup.
288
00:13:17,096 --> 00:13:19,063
I'm sick of posing!
289
00:13:19,065 --> 00:13:21,166
This is why people invented cameras!
290
00:13:21,168 --> 00:13:22,500
Patience!
291
00:13:23,135 --> 00:13:24,369
Et voila!
292
00:13:25,571 --> 00:13:27,105
Why am I holding you?
293
00:13:27,107 --> 00:13:29,140
Because every pirate needs a little booty.
294
00:13:31,544 --> 00:13:33,444
I'd rather walk the plank.
295
00:13:35,247 --> 00:13:37,048
Now, give that to me, I'm going to burn it.
296
00:13:37,050 --> 00:13:38,216
Absolutely not!
297
00:13:38,218 --> 00:13:41,586
This painting will not be burned unless
your smoldering gaze sets it afire!
298
00:13:41,588 --> 00:13:42,654
(Chuckles)
299
00:13:43,522 --> 00:13:44,989
One, ew!
300
00:13:44,991 --> 00:13:46,691
Two, give it! Ooh! Ooh!
301
00:13:46,693 --> 00:13:48,193
Give it! (Chuckling)
302
00:13:48,195 --> 00:13:50,995
Give it! If you want it, come and get it!
303
00:13:50,997 --> 00:13:52,163
(Chortles) (Grunts)
304
00:13:52,165 --> 00:13:54,165
Oh! Oh!
305
00:13:54,167 --> 00:13:56,067
Oh! Oh! Oh! (Chuckles)
306
00:13:56,069 --> 00:13:58,403
Oh, these shorts are so tight!
307
00:13:58,405 --> 00:13:59,070
(Shrieks)
308
00:14:02,541 --> 00:14:04,142
(Knocking on door)
309
00:14:04,144 --> 00:14:06,511
Hello? Bertram?
310
00:14:06,513 --> 00:14:08,246
You just seemed a little sad earlier...
311
00:14:08,248 --> 00:14:10,215
(Mrs. Chesterfield chuckles)
312
00:14:12,585 --> 00:14:14,586
I'm so tired. (Mock panting)
313
00:14:14,588 --> 00:14:15,720
(Laughing)
314
00:14:15,722 --> 00:14:18,089
Give me that! You drive me crazy!
315
00:14:18,091 --> 00:14:20,258
The feeling is mutual!
316
00:14:20,260 --> 00:14:21,426
(Giggling)
317
00:14:21,428 --> 00:14:24,662
Okay. Clearly I misread those sad vibes.
318
00:14:33,539 --> 00:14:34,606
(Farting)
319
00:14:39,144 --> 00:14:40,311
Luke!
320
00:14:40,546 --> 00:14:42,213
What?
321
00:14:42,215 --> 00:14:43,448
That was the plastic!
322
00:14:43,450 --> 00:14:47,352
Yeah, because plastic
smells like deviled eggs.
323
00:14:47,354 --> 00:14:50,088
Hey guys, why don't we
all go play in the park?
324
00:14:50,090 --> 00:14:52,624
I'd like to see Roger try to clean that.
325
00:14:52,626 --> 00:14:54,125
Oh, I will come.
326
00:14:54,127 --> 00:14:56,261
But it might take me a minute.
327
00:14:56,263 --> 00:14:59,130
Roger has starched my
jeans to a fare-thee-well.
328
00:14:59,132 --> 00:15:00,365
(Grunting)
329
00:15:04,136 --> 00:15:05,270
Anyways...
330
00:15:08,173 --> 00:15:09,774
Do you guys remember those epic messes
331
00:15:09,776 --> 00:15:11,709
we used to make when
Bertram was still around?
332
00:15:11,711 --> 00:15:13,344
Yeah.
333
00:15:13,346 --> 00:15:15,113
He used to just wait until
they started to smell,
334
00:15:15,115 --> 00:15:16,614
and then make one of us clean them up.
335
00:15:16,616 --> 00:15:17,715
(All chuckle)
336
00:15:17,717 --> 00:15:19,651
Remember what he always used to say?
337
00:15:19,653 --> 00:15:22,654
All: "Put it in the trash, or
I'll put it in your dinner."
338
00:15:24,490 --> 00:15:26,691
(Sobs) I really miss that guy.
339
00:15:26,693 --> 00:15:27,759
Hey!
340
00:15:27,761 --> 00:15:28,348
Is Roger here?
341
00:15:28,379 --> 00:15:30,695
I don't want him to know
I'm taking a study break.
342
00:15:30,697 --> 00:15:33,731
But if I don't, I'm gonna
have a study-breakdown.
343
00:15:33,733 --> 00:15:35,867
Roger's cleaning the plants on the terrace.
344
00:15:35,869 --> 00:15:37,302
He said, "They're dirty!"
345
00:15:39,138 --> 00:15:41,105
They're planted in dirt!
346
00:15:41,107 --> 00:15:43,241
And what's next? Mopping
the floor of the fish tank?
347
00:15:44,243 --> 00:15:46,311
Jessie, can't we get Bertram back?
348
00:15:46,313 --> 00:15:48,413
Roger is totes annoying!
349
00:15:48,415 --> 00:15:52,450
I never thought I'd hate a man who
could rock a cravat, but here we are.
350
00:15:54,253 --> 00:15:56,821
He alphabetized my practical jokes.
351
00:15:56,823 --> 00:15:59,557
He actually took the fun out of pranking!
352
00:15:59,559 --> 00:16:01,559
He's a monster!
353
00:16:01,561 --> 00:16:04,495
And he makes me go to bed at 8:30!
354
00:16:04,497 --> 00:16:05,763
8:30 is your bedtime.
355
00:16:05,765 --> 00:16:07,598
I know! It's awful!
356
00:16:07,600 --> 00:16:09,500
Now I stay awake all through school!
357
00:16:11,303 --> 00:16:12,370
Oh! (Groans)
358
00:16:13,772 --> 00:16:19,277
Although I admire Roger's meticulous
nature and high academic standards,
359
00:16:19,279 --> 00:16:20,511
I must admit...
360
00:16:22,348 --> 00:16:24,349
I am chafing something fierce.
361
00:16:26,251 --> 00:16:29,921
Look, guys, I miss Bertram too,
but there's nothing we can do.
362
00:16:29,923 --> 00:16:32,557
He's having the time of
his life at his new job.
363
00:16:32,559 --> 00:16:33,725
How do you know?
364
00:16:33,727 --> 00:16:34,926
Don't ask.
365
00:16:34,928 --> 00:16:36,794
I can't re-live that again.
366
00:16:36,796 --> 00:16:38,930
Just trust me, he's moved on.
367
00:16:38,932 --> 00:16:43,234
Besides, I know Roger is kind of a
perfectionist, but he's not that bad.
368
00:16:43,236 --> 00:16:46,270
Roger: Fraeulein Jessie, you're
not taking a break, are you?
369
00:16:46,272 --> 00:16:47,338
Hide me!
370
00:16:47,340 --> 00:16:48,406
Whoa!
371
00:16:50,843 --> 00:16:51,909
(Sniffs)
372
00:16:51,911 --> 00:16:53,611
Who's been eating in here?
373
00:16:53,613 --> 00:16:54,946
I smell deviled eggs.
374
00:16:58,951 --> 00:17:00,551
(Speaking German)
375
00:17:06,592 --> 00:17:08,626
Perfect. That's the whole stack.
376
00:17:08,961 --> 00:17:10,228
Danke.
377
00:17:10,230 --> 00:17:12,663
Where are you going?
378
00:17:12,665 --> 00:17:14,985
(Mock German accent) Away from
these stinking flash-karten.
379
00:17:16,268 --> 00:17:18,469
Do you really want to quit
now and do the minimum?
380
00:17:18,471 --> 00:17:21,939
Or, as I've heard this
family say, "Luke it"?
381
00:17:21,941 --> 00:17:23,941
But I was up all night studying!
382
00:17:23,943 --> 00:17:26,911
These bags under my eyes are so
big they could carry groceries.
383
00:17:26,913 --> 00:17:29,280
The heavy stuff, like milk and detergent!
384
00:17:29,915 --> 00:17:31,916
Jessie, when I arrived,
385
00:17:31,918 --> 00:17:34,318
this family was languishing
under the care of a butler
386
00:17:34,320 --> 00:17:36,721
who didn't know his crumb
catcher from his cummerbund.
387
00:17:36,723 --> 00:17:37,577
Are you okay?
388
00:17:37,608 --> 00:17:40,992
I haven't seen you this upset since you
found that apple core in the couch cushions.
389
00:17:40,994 --> 00:17:42,260
It had fuzz on it!
390
00:17:42,262 --> 00:17:43,594
I was just happy Luke ate fruit.
391
00:17:44,797 --> 00:17:46,631
It's unacceptable!
392
00:17:46,633 --> 00:17:48,566
I must make everything perfect.
393
00:17:48,568 --> 00:17:51,369
And nothing is going to stand in my way.
394
00:17:51,371 --> 00:17:52,185
(Yells) No!
395
00:17:52,216 --> 00:17:55,440
I had these sorted into masculine,
feminine and neuter nouns!
396
00:17:55,442 --> 00:17:56,641
(Gasps) Roger!
397
00:17:56,643 --> 00:17:57,708
Get a grip!
398
00:17:57,710 --> 00:17:58,776
Ow!
399
00:18:00,679 --> 00:18:02,880
Did you just give me a
black and blue butler?
400
00:18:02,882 --> 00:18:04,816
You left me no choice.
401
00:18:04,818 --> 00:18:08,953
Look, it's good to try your best,
but not at the expense of all fun,
402
00:18:08,955 --> 00:18:11,656
sleep, and contact with upholstery.
403
00:18:11,658 --> 00:18:14,759
Nobody is perfect, Roger. Not even you.
404
00:18:14,761 --> 00:18:16,761
That's, that's...
405
00:18:16,763 --> 00:18:18,529
That's so true! Oh!
406
00:18:18,531 --> 00:18:20,798
I just don't know any other way to live.
407
00:18:20,800 --> 00:18:22,934
My mother always demanded
perfection from me.
408
00:18:22,936 --> 00:18:23,984
Oh, I get it, my father...
409
00:18:24,015 --> 00:18:26,604
Do you know how hard it is to
make friends in kindergarten
410
00:18:26,606 --> 00:18:27,939
when you're wearing a three-piece suit?
411
00:18:27,941 --> 00:18:30,308
(Bawling) Roger, okay...
412
00:18:32,878 --> 00:18:34,312
There, there.
413
00:18:34,314 --> 00:18:36,013
Snot into my skirt all you want.
414
00:18:36,015 --> 00:18:37,482
You're the one who does the laundry.
415
00:18:37,484 --> 00:18:38,749
(Wailing)
416
00:18:42,354 --> 00:18:45,323
Make sure that silver is
good and polished, Bertie.
417
00:18:45,325 --> 00:18:47,358
I want to be able to see you in it.
418
00:18:49,027 --> 00:18:50,428
Okay? Is everybody decent?
419
00:18:50,430 --> 00:18:52,296
Children entering the premises.
420
00:18:52,298 --> 00:18:53,498
(Alarm sounding)
421
00:18:56,068 --> 00:18:57,935
What was that?
422
00:18:57,937 --> 00:19:00,671
The foyer is wired to go
off whenever children enter.
423
00:19:00,673 --> 00:19:03,841
Unfortunately, the electrified
floor doesn't seem to be working.
424
00:19:03,843 --> 00:19:04,876
What!
425
00:19:06,378 --> 00:19:08,012
So, what are you all doing here?
426
00:19:08,014 --> 00:19:10,915
The kids have something to say to you.
427
00:19:10,917 --> 00:19:12,683
Bertram, we want to apologize.
428
00:19:12,685 --> 00:19:15,820
Yeah, we never should have
pulled that stupid prank.
429
00:19:15,822 --> 00:19:17,555
We are terribly sorry...
430
00:19:17,557 --> 00:19:20,024
Even though I am, as usual, blameless.
431
00:19:21,693 --> 00:19:23,060
Please come back.
432
00:19:23,062 --> 00:19:25,630
We really miss you.
433
00:19:25,632 --> 00:19:27,698
Tough toenails, tykes!
434
00:19:27,700 --> 00:19:31,469
You didn't appreciate Bertie when
you had him, and now he's mine!
435
00:19:31,471 --> 00:19:32,904
He signed a contract.
436
00:19:32,906 --> 00:19:35,006
That wasn't a contract.
437
00:19:35,008 --> 00:19:38,342
You forced me to autograph a picture
of myself for your nightstand.
438
00:19:38,344 --> 00:19:40,978
(Chuckles)
Potato, pot-ah-to!
439
00:19:40,980 --> 00:19:42,880
It's binding!
440
00:19:44,082 --> 00:19:46,584
I'll tell you what's binding, these shorts!
441
00:19:49,021 --> 00:19:50,688
And why do you want me back?
442
00:19:50,690 --> 00:19:52,723
Isn't Roger the perfect butler?
443
00:19:52,725 --> 00:19:54,525
We don't want the perfect butler.
444
00:19:54,527 --> 00:19:55,660
We want you!
445
00:19:57,062 --> 00:20:01,499
We have seen what too much perfection
can lead to, and it is not pretty.
446
00:20:03,569 --> 00:20:07,104
Seriously, I would show you the
rash if I could get these pants off.
447
00:20:08,540 --> 00:20:09,807
(Chuckles)
448
00:20:09,809 --> 00:20:11,008
Bertram.
449
00:20:11,010 --> 00:20:13,778
Look, you may not be perfect, but...
450
00:20:14,379 --> 00:20:15,813
You're perfect for us.
451
00:20:16,848 --> 00:20:18,015
And we love you.
452
00:20:20,786 --> 00:20:23,020
Oh, I love you guys, too.
453
00:20:23,022 --> 00:20:24,589
(All sobbing)
454
00:20:24,591 --> 00:20:25,690
Ugh!
455
00:20:25,958 --> 00:20:27,491
Okay.
456
00:20:27,493 --> 00:20:28,859
Bertram's back! (Clapping)
457
00:20:29,094 --> 00:20:30,161
Wait!
458
00:20:30,929 --> 00:20:33,097
What about me?
459
00:20:33,099 --> 00:20:37,101
You miscreants have each other,
but now I'm all alone again.
460
00:20:37,103 --> 00:20:39,470
Where's Rhoda's happy ending?
461
00:20:39,472 --> 00:20:40,838
Jessie?
462
00:20:40,840 --> 00:20:42,907
Sorry to disturb. Ooh!
463
00:20:42,909 --> 00:20:43,975
Rhoda likey.
464
00:20:45,477 --> 00:20:47,545
Thank you for accepting my resignation.
465
00:20:47,547 --> 00:20:48,946
Auf Wiedersehen.
466
00:20:48,948 --> 00:20:49,909
Not so fast!
467
00:20:49,940 --> 00:20:53,781
Jezebel, who is this
tasty piece of schnitzel?
468
00:20:55,487 --> 00:20:57,688
This is our ex-butler, Roger.
469
00:20:58,423 --> 00:20:59,490
Charmed.
470
00:20:59,958 --> 00:21:01,559
You're hired.
471
00:21:01,561 --> 00:21:03,127
Don't you need to see my credentials?
472
00:21:03,129 --> 00:21:04,929
I can see them from here.
473
00:21:06,431 --> 00:21:08,532
I'm too young for this. Let's bounce.
474
00:21:09,601 --> 00:21:12,770
So, how do you feel about pirates?
475
00:21:12,772 --> 00:21:14,705
Oh! Shiver me timbers!
476
00:21:14,707 --> 00:21:15,906
(Shrieks)
477
00:21:15,908 --> 00:21:17,942
(Electricity crackling) (Exclaiming)
478
00:21:18,710 --> 00:21:21,112
Oh, the floor does work!
479
00:21:21,913 --> 00:21:23,114
(Chuckles)
480
00:21:24,950 --> 00:21:26,117
(Snoring)
481
00:21:27,219 --> 00:21:30,054
Aw! Isn't he adorable?
482
00:21:30,056 --> 00:21:33,057
Look, he's making those
cute little snot bubbles.
483
00:21:33,059 --> 00:21:35,159
(Chuckles)
484
00:21:35,161 --> 00:21:37,828
I just got an A on my mid-term.
485
00:21:37,830 --> 00:21:40,064
Not that it counts. Stupid pass-fail!
486
00:21:41,133 --> 00:21:42,867
Awesome, how does it feel?
487
00:21:42,869 --> 00:21:43,934
(Chuckles)
488
00:21:43,936 --> 00:21:45,569
No, seriously, describe it to me.
489
00:21:45,571 --> 00:21:46,737
I've never gotten an A.
490
00:21:48,106 --> 00:21:49,473
It feels great.
491
00:21:49,475 --> 00:21:51,575
Almost as great as having Bertram back.
492
00:21:51,577 --> 00:21:53,144
(Snoring)
493
00:21:53,146 --> 00:21:54,679
(Farting)
494
00:21:54,681 --> 00:21:55,746
Oh!
495
00:21:55,748 --> 00:21:56,775
(Gasps)
496
00:21:56,806 --> 00:22:00,915
Sadly, we can no longer
blame that on the plastic.
35122
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