All language subtitles for Hang Ups - 01x05 - Episode 5.KETTLE.English.HI.C.orig.Addic7ed.com
Afrikaans
Albanian
Amharic
Arabic
Armenian
Azerbaijani
Basque
Belarusian
Bengali
Bosnian
Bulgarian
Catalan
Cebuano
Chichewa
Chinese (Simplified)
Chinese (Traditional)
Corsican
Croatian
Czech
Danish
Dutch
English
Esperanto
Estonian
Filipino
Finnish
French
Frisian
Galician
Georgian
German
Greek
Gujarati
Haitian Creole
Hausa
Hawaiian
Hebrew
Hindi
Hmong
Hungarian
Icelandic
Igbo
Indonesian
Irish
Italian
Japanese
Javanese
Kannada
Kazakh
Khmer
Korean
Kurdish (Kurmanji)
Kyrgyz
Lao
Latin
Latvian
Lithuanian
Luxembourgish
Macedonian
Malagasy
Malay
Malayalam
Maltese
Maori
Marathi
Mongolian
Myanmar (Burmese)
Nepali
Norwegian
Pashto
Persian
Polish
Portuguese
Punjabi
Romanian
Russian
Samoan
Scots Gaelic
Serbian
Sesotho
Shona
Sindhi
Sinhala
Slovak
Slovenian
Somali
Spanish
Sundanese
Swahili
Swedish
Tajik
Tamil
Telugu
Thai
Turkish
Ukrainian
Urdu
Uzbek
Vietnamese
Welsh
Xhosa
Yiddish
Yoruba
Zulu
Odia (Oriya)
Kinyarwanda
Turkmen
Tatar
Uyghur
Would you like to inspect the original subtitles? These are the user uploaded subtitles that are being translated:
1
00:00:00,774 --> 00:00:04,078
You know the Neil thing?
You need to tool up.
2
00:00:04,084 --> 00:00:06,266
Go and put the security
cameras up, quickly.
3
00:00:06,301 --> 00:00:09,390
Izzy, this is Richard, an
online therapist that I see...
4
00:00:09,413 --> 00:00:11,818
- Nice to meet you.
- There's a thing that's worse.
5
00:00:11,841 --> 00:00:13,015
I killed someone.
6
00:00:13,024 --> 00:00:15,052
I'm sorry, I can't go
through with the vasectomy.
7
00:00:15,177 --> 00:00:17,695
- I loved Starsky and Hutch.
- Isn't it the best show ever?
8
00:00:17,713 --> 00:00:20,357
- Are you for real?
- Waka-taka, waka-taka.
9
00:00:20,371 --> 00:00:22,199
I just want you to come and see me.
10
00:00:22,200 --> 00:00:25,756
- I will, Mum, I will.
- You come back now.
11
00:00:26,548 --> 00:00:28,580
- OK, then.
- Thank you.
12
00:00:36,880 --> 00:00:39,469
- DOOR BUZZER
- Door!
13
00:00:48,676 --> 00:00:51,307
- Izzy! Morning.
- Hey.
14
00:01:03,669 --> 00:01:06,801
Ugh, fucking hell, what is this?
15
00:01:09,071 --> 00:01:10,682
Fuck off.
16
00:01:27,360 --> 00:01:29,317
It's crazy, Al.
17
00:01:29,360 --> 00:01:33,360
INDISTINCT CHATTER
18
00:01:36,080 --> 00:01:37,798
Aaagh!
19
00:01:40,181 --> 00:01:41,764
DOOR BUZZER
20
00:01:41,889 --> 00:01:45,160
BUZZER IS PRESSED REPEATEDLY
21
00:01:46,987 --> 00:01:48,439
Morning.
22
00:01:48,440 --> 00:01:51,950
DOOR BUZZER CONTINUES
23
00:01:55,360 --> 00:01:57,529
- Hi, John.
- Finally.
24
00:01:57,564 --> 00:02:00,557
Honestly, Richard, you want a
job done, you do it yourself.
25
00:02:00,574 --> 00:02:03,614
Mummy, Jonny's here. Mum!
26
00:02:03,626 --> 00:02:06,441
Jon-Jon! Oh, darling.
27
00:02:06,476 --> 00:02:09,321
- I came to see you.
- I knew you would,
28
00:02:09,942 --> 00:02:11,934
it's so good.
29
00:02:11,957 --> 00:02:15,734
- Where are you going?
- Jesus, Richard, Trunki want a bun?
30
00:02:16,281 --> 00:02:21,281
- Synced and corrected by chamallow -
- www.addic7ed.com -
31
00:02:21,960 --> 00:02:23,401
- Richard.
- Yeah, what?
32
00:02:23,413 --> 00:02:25,671
I'm just been giving
it some serious thought.
33
00:02:25,686 --> 00:02:27,517
- Right.
- I think Neil's going to hurt you,
34
00:02:27,531 --> 00:02:29,446
he's going to hurt you bad,
he's going to torture you.
35
00:02:29,460 --> 00:02:30,865
I think he's really going to cut you up.
36
00:02:30,878 --> 00:02:32,367
He's going to cut off your balls.
37
00:02:32,385 --> 00:02:35,812
I'm going to get your gonads and
your penis in a box, sent to me.
38
00:02:35,848 --> 00:02:36,986
Pete,
39
00:02:37,433 --> 00:02:40,652
have you sorted out the
gear for the party tonight?
40
00:02:40,662 --> 00:02:43,397
- Leave it to me. It's fine, OK?
- You haven't got long.
41
00:02:43,425 --> 00:02:46,487
Listen, I've been going through
playlists, thinking about, you know,
42
00:02:46,496 --> 00:02:48,500
what goes with what, what comes next.
43
00:02:48,514 --> 00:02:51,775
It's not that easy being
a DJ, OK, take it from me,
44
00:02:51,807 --> 00:02:53,755
- I've had lots of experience.
- Yes.
45
00:02:53,760 --> 00:02:55,205
- We could start with a kind of
- _
46
00:02:55,219 --> 00:02:56,675
- Groove Armada kind of thing.
- _
47
00:02:56,688 --> 00:02:58,088
- Right.
- And then really go into sort of
48
00:02:58,097 --> 00:03:00,488
- some minimal kind of techno.
- What's minimal techno?
49
00:03:00,520 --> 00:03:02,550
We might highlight it
with a bit of Ace of Base.
50
00:03:02,573 --> 00:03:04,508
That'll be the peak, then
we'll come back down again
51
00:03:04,531 --> 00:03:07,516
with Kruder and Dorfmeister or
something like that, I don't know.
52
00:03:07,539 --> 00:03:09,906
- Play some Fleetwood Mac.
- Oh, Christ.
53
00:03:09,920 --> 00:03:11,328
- What's wrong with Fleetwood Mac?
- _
54
00:03:11,328 --> 00:03:12,584
They're one of the biggest
selling bands of all time.
55
00:03:12,600 --> 00:03:15,239
I think we can be a bit
more edgy than Fleetwood Mac.
56
00:03:15,307 --> 00:03:17,518
- Toto?
- Oh!
57
00:03:17,706 --> 00:03:20,737
Now we're talking. Where
would we be without Toto?
58
00:03:21,547 --> 00:03:24,853
Do they only do the dignity
thing in Switzerland, then?
59
00:03:24,881 --> 00:03:26,271
Well, I haven't looked into it,
60
00:03:26,285 --> 00:03:28,257
but I do know they do it in Switzerland,
61
00:03:28,284 --> 00:03:29,813
but they may do it in Germany...
62
00:03:29,841 --> 00:03:32,383
Because you see, I don't
want to go and die in dignity
63
00:03:32,392 --> 00:03:34,497
- if I don't have to, I mean, you know what I mean.
- No.
64
00:03:34,552 --> 00:03:37,421
I don't want to say, "Yes,
OK, I'm going to go and die".
65
00:03:37,440 --> 00:03:40,004
- Going to go and die.
- And then the doctor suddenly say,
66
00:03:40,041 --> 00:03:43,491
- "Actually, ooh, whoops, you weren't that bad".
- You've turned a corner.
67
00:03:43,505 --> 00:03:44,780
- Yes.
- You know what I mean?
68
00:03:44,826 --> 00:03:47,373
- Yes, Mum.
- I couldn't bear that.
69
00:03:47,433 --> 00:03:50,965
Whereas, you know, maybe
in Dubai, it's not so final.
70
00:03:50,984 --> 00:03:52,135
No.
71
00:03:54,401 --> 00:03:56,860
- Richard, I can't talk right now.
- I need to talk to you.
72
00:03:56,878 --> 00:03:59,002
- I'll call you when I get back to the...
- I need to...
73
00:03:59,029 --> 00:04:02,360
It's the best man in the
whole world now, Richard.
74
00:04:02,373 --> 00:04:04,883
- Werner, now is not the time.
- It does me much pain
75
00:04:04,892 --> 00:04:08,599
to say this now, and I know for
you this is very tragic, but...
76
00:04:08,622 --> 00:04:10,036
- Werner, it's not the time.
- But Karen and me,
77
00:04:10,063 --> 00:04:12,864
- we have a massive relation to each other.
- No, you don't.
78
00:04:12,873 --> 00:04:15,531
We are very much in
love with each other.
79
00:04:15,558 --> 00:04:16,839
- You're not in love with each other.
- Yeah.
80
00:04:16,857 --> 00:04:20,777
- No, we are. I know this is hard.
- It's not hard, it's just not true.
81
00:04:21,188 --> 00:04:23,239
I know you feel like this.
82
00:04:23,240 --> 00:04:25,175
It's very busy here, darling.
83
00:04:25,186 --> 00:04:27,529
At the moment, it's quite stressful.
84
00:04:27,560 --> 00:04:30,655
Busy with the business
of loving each other.
85
00:04:30,661 --> 00:04:34,280
Werner, can I say something
to you? This is unbelievably...
86
00:04:34,317 --> 00:04:35,758
- Yeah.
- Inappropriate.
87
00:04:35,772 --> 00:04:37,180
- Yeah, it's very sad for you.
- It is.
88
00:04:37,194 --> 00:04:39,014
I don't phone your wife and say,
89
00:04:39,037 --> 00:04:41,832
"Hey, I pumped a massive
log into my pants".
90
00:04:41,842 --> 00:04:44,131
Yeah, fine, I don't
phone your wife and say,
91
00:04:44,145 --> 00:04:45,955
- "Oh, I sucked the teats of a pig".
- Richard.
92
00:04:45,983 --> 00:04:48,816
Shit. Fuck me in the fucking...
93
00:04:50,239 --> 00:04:52,363
- What is wrong with him?
- Something's happened.
94
00:04:52,377 --> 00:04:54,430
- I don't know what that's about.
- OK, listen, Karen,
95
00:04:54,555 --> 00:04:56,222
I know you don't have
long. I need to tell you
96
00:04:56,222 --> 00:04:57,871
I didn't go through
with it, the vasectomy.
97
00:04:57,889 --> 00:04:59,359
I didn't do it. I'm sorry.
98
00:04:59,368 --> 00:05:00,861
- Oh, for goodness' sake.
- I'm so sorry.
99
00:05:00,876 --> 00:05:03,481
- The one thing I needed you to do.
- I know, I know.
100
00:05:03,504 --> 00:05:05,530
I'd waxed everything.
I was going to do it.
101
00:05:05,549 --> 00:05:07,791
Have a look at that. I mean, I...
102
00:05:08,574 --> 00:05:10,339
Oh, oh, oh,
103
00:05:10,371 --> 00:05:12,323
- that is something I will never unsee.
- I know.
104
00:05:12,346 --> 00:05:14,635
- I'm so sorry.
- Look, when I get home,
105
00:05:14,654 --> 00:05:16,809
we'll rebook the appointment
and go together, all right?
106
00:05:16,832 --> 00:05:18,587
Maybe it wasn't a
good idea to try and...
107
00:05:18,927 --> 00:05:21,539
excuse me, what are you doing?
108
00:05:21,576 --> 00:05:23,330
- That's my laptop.
- Who's that?
109
00:05:23,360 --> 00:05:25,247
- Put that down.
- Can you put that laptop back down, please?
110
00:05:25,275 --> 00:05:26,334
That's personal property.
111
00:05:26,347 --> 00:05:28,185
- What are you...
- Hey!
112
00:05:29,401 --> 00:05:33,642
Church of Scientology.
113
00:05:33,693 --> 00:05:35,655
- You going to join that?
- I think so.
114
00:05:36,200 --> 00:05:38,059
Get the fuck out...
115
00:05:39,989 --> 00:05:41,359
All right, what...
116
00:05:41,484 --> 00:05:44,328
- Have a look at some other suggestions.
- How to join...
117
00:05:44,715 --> 00:05:46,212
The army?
118
00:05:47,680 --> 00:05:48,872
Have a look.
119
00:05:49,057 --> 00:05:50,464
Yeah. Let's do it.
120
00:05:53,398 --> 00:05:55,613
_
121
00:05:55,889 --> 00:05:58,514
_
122
00:05:58,694 --> 00:06:00,679
_
123
00:06:00,804 --> 00:06:02,958
_
124
00:06:05,440 --> 00:06:07,167
Richard, hi.
125
00:06:08,240 --> 00:06:11,964
- How are you today?
- Yeah, not terribly well. No.
126
00:06:11,987 --> 00:06:15,090
I found a message on Izzy's phone
127
00:06:15,113 --> 00:06:19,017
- from someone saying, "I lick you forever".
- Oh, no.
128
00:06:19,023 --> 00:06:20,808
And I don't know if it
was "I like you forever"
129
00:06:20,831 --> 00:06:23,577
- or it was just misspelled.
- Oh, Nathan, I'm so sorry to hear that.
130
00:06:23,605 --> 00:06:26,497
- And it's probably just like slang...
- That is, what a...
131
00:06:26,732 --> 00:06:28,570
- It's awful, isn't it?
- What a, well...
132
00:06:28,570 --> 00:06:31,482
- I thought maybe I was overreacting.
- No, you're not overreacting at all,
133
00:06:31,491 --> 00:06:33,476
that sounds pretty damming to me.
134
00:06:33,540 --> 00:06:36,419
What I can see, though, is a
person who's incredibly anxious.
135
00:06:36,456 --> 00:06:38,252
If you are feeling like this,
136
00:06:38,284 --> 00:06:41,182
then there's a good chance
there's a manipulation going on,
137
00:06:41,200 --> 00:06:42,964
an emotional manipulation.
138
00:06:43,020 --> 00:06:45,562
- You think she wanted me to see that message?
- Well,
139
00:06:45,687 --> 00:06:47,635
on some level, possibly, yes.
140
00:06:47,718 --> 00:06:50,310
But you met her, she's very sweet.
141
00:06:50,329 --> 00:06:53,475
I don't know her from a hole
in the road but she struck me,
142
00:06:53,475 --> 00:06:55,828
I have to be honest, as
a little manipulative,
143
00:06:55,842 --> 00:06:57,805
a little scheming, a little controlling
144
00:06:57,860 --> 00:07:01,439
and I think the time has come, maybe,
145
00:07:01,720 --> 00:07:06,140
to try to try life
apart from this woman.
146
00:07:06,265 --> 00:07:09,018
You cry if you want to cry, you cry.
147
00:07:09,320 --> 00:07:12,313
- I've been such a fool.
- I know, you have.
148
00:07:13,480 --> 00:07:16,246
- Why would she do this?
- Because she's so young.
149
00:07:16,371 --> 00:07:18,373
- She's so young.
- Oh, my God, she's young.
150
00:07:18,396 --> 00:07:21,634
- She's so young.
- Disgustingly, wrongly young.
151
00:07:21,676 --> 00:07:23,412
- What shall I do?
- You have to end it.
152
00:07:23,448 --> 00:07:24,526
I can't.
153
00:07:24,560 --> 00:07:25,645
- I know.
- It's hard.
154
00:07:25,664 --> 00:07:27,423
Just write a text, you
don't even have to see her.
155
00:07:27,451 --> 00:07:31,875
- I can't write a text.
- Let me help you to be free of it.
156
00:07:31,937 --> 00:07:34,759
OK. Pick up your phone,
pick up your phone.
157
00:07:34,760 --> 00:07:38,451
OK. Go to text message, click on "Izzy",
158
00:07:38,469 --> 00:07:40,446
and this is what you're going to say.
159
00:07:40,680 --> 00:07:42,150
"It's over".
160
00:07:43,520 --> 00:07:47,074
Do it. "It's over. I'm sorry.
161
00:07:48,036 --> 00:07:50,468
"We can't see each other again.
162
00:07:50,800 --> 00:07:52,329
- Ever."
- Oh...
163
00:07:52,375 --> 00:07:55,010
Send it, send it, send it, send it,
164
00:07:55,028 --> 00:07:57,059
- send it, send it.
- Argh!
165
00:07:57,080 --> 00:07:58,919
- It's sent, it's sent.
- Good, good.
166
00:07:58,920 --> 00:08:00,955
It's sent, it's sent.
167
00:08:01,080 --> 00:08:02,373
Argh.
168
00:08:06,000 --> 00:08:07,600
Fuck it!
169
00:08:08,070 --> 00:08:10,771
- That worked.
- LAPTOP CHIMES
170
00:08:13,160 --> 00:08:15,346
- Riam.
- Hi, Richard, how are you doing?
171
00:08:15,364 --> 00:08:17,295
Yeah, great. Listen, I've
just had my house valued
172
00:08:17,313 --> 00:08:19,658
and it's worth a lot more than
I thought it was originally,
173
00:08:19,680 --> 00:08:21,399
and what I'd love you to
do is remortgage it for me.
174
00:08:21,413 --> 00:08:22,426
Why?
175
00:08:22,458 --> 00:08:25,585
Because I need to do some
things with the money.
176
00:08:25,627 --> 00:08:27,575
Your wife is on the mortgage, isn't she?
177
00:08:27,593 --> 00:08:29,283
Yes, well, we own the house together.
178
00:08:29,873 --> 00:08:33,039
So we're going to need
her permission as well.
179
00:08:33,040 --> 00:08:34,243
Riam, I don't want to tell her
180
00:08:34,257 --> 00:08:36,942
because it's a surprise
for her birthday.
181
00:08:37,960 --> 00:08:39,682
Do you know how to do her signature?
182
00:08:40,320 --> 00:08:41,616
Yeah.
183
00:08:43,920 --> 00:08:45,306
We could do that.
184
00:08:53,280 --> 00:08:54,900
Sort of like that?
185
00:08:55,360 --> 00:08:56,999
You're a fucking genius.
186
00:08:57,000 --> 00:08:59,625
Fill out the form now,
fill it out. Send it off.
187
00:08:59,676 --> 00:09:01,426
- Send it off.
- How old are you?
188
00:09:02,120 --> 00:09:04,185
44. How old are you?
189
00:09:04,199 --> 00:09:05,631
Oh, I see, for the form. Sorry.
190
00:09:05,663 --> 00:09:07,113
44.
191
00:09:07,191 --> 00:09:08,495
- Right.
- OK.
192
00:09:08,522 --> 00:09:10,720
So next question, gender.
193
00:09:13,760 --> 00:09:16,892
- Income.
- My income or my wife's and my income?
194
00:09:16,902 --> 00:09:18,679
I need yours and I need hers
195
00:09:18,693 --> 00:09:20,388
and then I need you to add them up.
196
00:09:20,420 --> 00:09:22,824
Hers is 90,000 a year
197
00:09:23,086 --> 00:09:25,449
and mine is 9,000 a year.
198
00:09:27,066 --> 00:09:29,879
So let me just get a calculator here.
199
00:09:29,880 --> 00:09:31,439
Sorry, one second.
200
00:09:31,440 --> 00:09:35,564
- Nine zero zero...
- Are you trying to add those together?
201
00:09:35,587 --> 00:09:39,378
Plus nine zero zero zero equals...
202
00:09:39,400 --> 00:09:41,851
Oh, sorry, no. Yes, 99.
203
00:09:45,120 --> 00:09:47,816
- Oh, no.
- What?
204
00:09:47,880 --> 00:09:52,887
It says if you think you've
made any spelling mistakes
205
00:09:52,896 --> 00:09:57,115
or you have not used block capitals,
206
00:09:57,501 --> 00:10:00,453
then you have to... I
have to do this again.
207
00:10:04,834 --> 00:10:06,920
- Hello.
- Hey, man.
208
00:10:06,943 --> 00:10:08,670
- How are you?
- I'm good, how are you?
209
00:10:08,712 --> 00:10:11,074
Just hold on a sec.
210
00:10:13,200 --> 00:10:14,919
Ready for this?
211
00:10:15,361 --> 00:10:17,559
FLUENT JAZZ PIANO
212
00:10:17,560 --> 00:10:20,584
Oh, my God!
213
00:10:20,593 --> 00:10:23,845
You are... No way.
214
00:10:24,020 --> 00:10:27,009
Dude! Oh, my God.
215
00:10:28,285 --> 00:10:30,799
Are you for real?
216
00:10:30,850 --> 00:10:33,102
Yo, that was tight.
217
00:10:33,120 --> 00:10:34,272
- Oh, my God.
- How good was that?
218
00:10:34,291 --> 00:10:35,577
How long did that take you to learn?
219
00:10:35,591 --> 00:10:36,925
I knew you'd be the only person
220
00:10:36,940 --> 00:10:39,258
- who would appreciate that.
- Yeah, I appreciate that to fuck.
221
00:10:39,273 --> 00:10:40,949
- Oh, my God.
- I got a lot of grief off my family
222
00:10:40,990 --> 00:10:43,082
- for playing that so much.
- No way, oh, my God,
223
00:10:43,089 --> 00:10:44,770
your family need to get with it, bro.
224
00:10:44,796 --> 00:10:46,233
- That was great.
- Thank you.
225
00:10:46,734 --> 00:10:49,619
So, tell me, how are things?
226
00:10:49,906 --> 00:10:51,634
Yeah, man, things are good, you know.
227
00:10:51,664 --> 00:10:53,276
I've been thinking,
228
00:10:53,302 --> 00:10:56,091
maybe it's a good idea if I find my dad.
229
00:10:57,440 --> 00:10:59,973
- That's very interesting.
- Well, I just think if I find him,
230
00:10:59,996 --> 00:11:04,579
I mean if I go and say, "Look,
here I am, I'm your son",
231
00:11:04,616 --> 00:11:08,526
what I hope is that he'll
be as excited as I am,
232
00:11:09,088 --> 00:11:13,283
but even if he's not, at least
I'll know, you know what I mean?
233
00:11:13,329 --> 00:11:15,986
I think that's a very exciting prospect.
234
00:11:16,004 --> 00:11:18,418
- You're excited by it?
- Sure, I'm excited for you
235
00:11:18,445 --> 00:11:20,721
at the prospect of you
finding your father.
236
00:11:20,744 --> 00:11:23,282
But do you know where
even to begin to look?
237
00:11:23,520 --> 00:11:25,391
Yeah, I know where he is.
238
00:11:25,602 --> 00:11:26,772
Wow.
239
00:11:26,809 --> 00:11:28,269
Listen, dude, like,
240
00:11:28,771 --> 00:11:30,241
- thank you.
- You're welcome.
241
00:11:30,264 --> 00:11:32,990
Without you none of this
would be happening, OK?
242
00:11:33,031 --> 00:11:35,459
- All right. Well, listen, good luck.
- Thank you, man.
243
00:11:35,519 --> 00:11:37,711
I love, can I just say
that I love the shirts?
244
00:11:37,734 --> 00:11:39,577
Oh, dude, thank you very much.
245
00:11:39,600 --> 00:11:41,156
I thought you were,
246
00:11:41,198 --> 00:11:44,081
sorry I was stupid, I thought you
were going to say, "I love you".
247
00:11:45,720 --> 00:11:47,052
Like not in a weird way,
248
00:11:47,080 --> 00:11:48,342
just kind of like in a
249
00:11:48,844 --> 00:11:50,562
family kind of way, you know.
250
00:11:55,839 --> 00:11:57,635
All right, I'm fine.
251
00:11:57,820 --> 00:11:59,746
You see, I was actually,
252
00:11:59,962 --> 00:12:01,759
I was actually thinking
of joining the army.
253
00:12:01,760 --> 00:12:02,919
Good idea.
254
00:12:02,942 --> 00:12:05,342
- Yeah.
- Grandpa Jeremy did it, I did it.
255
00:12:05,560 --> 00:12:07,502
- Well, that's what I thought. I thought that maybe...
- Family tradition.
256
00:12:07,525 --> 00:12:09,105
Yes, give me some advice.
257
00:12:09,123 --> 00:12:10,487
If you're thinking of joining the army,
258
00:12:10,496 --> 00:12:13,180
- you got to tidy this room up.
- Yeah, yeah, it's...
259
00:12:13,203 --> 00:12:16,491
This would not pass
inspection, let me tell you now.
260
00:12:16,698 --> 00:12:18,895
Smells a bit spunky too, got to say.
261
00:12:22,124 --> 00:12:23,524
Did you, like,
262
00:12:23,649 --> 00:12:26,044
what kind of experiences
did you have in the army?
263
00:12:26,389 --> 00:12:28,899
What was the scariest
thing you ever saw?
264
00:12:29,332 --> 00:12:32,791
Well, I saw a dog shit up a wall
once, which was very unusual.
265
00:12:32,827 --> 00:12:35,356
- You saw what?
- An explosion went off,
266
00:12:35,384 --> 00:12:38,621
a roadside explosion, and
a dog just shat up a wall.
267
00:12:38,653 --> 00:12:39,800
- That's...
- Up a wall.
268
00:12:39,805 --> 00:12:40,983
Wow, that...
269
00:12:41,016 --> 00:12:42,159
Unusual.
270
00:12:42,160 --> 00:12:43,963
That can't be the scariest thing.
271
00:12:43,986 --> 00:12:48,711
Just two days ago, I lost a buddy.
272
00:12:49,800 --> 00:12:51,958
An explosion happened and
273
00:12:52,289 --> 00:12:53,980
he bled out in front of me.
274
00:12:55,040 --> 00:12:57,687
I mean, I tried to stuff
what was there into the wound,
275
00:12:57,706 --> 00:13:00,957
but it wasn't stopping for anything.
276
00:13:01,800 --> 00:13:04,693
Then he cried like a
baby. I slapped him.
277
00:13:07,040 --> 00:13:08,304
"Pull yourself together",
278
00:13:08,320 --> 00:13:12,182
but he couldn't because he was
almost in two separate parts.
279
00:13:13,890 --> 00:13:15,839
LAPTOP RINGS
280
00:13:16,677 --> 00:13:18,699
- Richard.
- Yeah, Neil, hi.
281
00:13:18,708 --> 00:13:20,559
- I'm doing a bit of thinking.
- Oh, yeah?
282
00:13:20,560 --> 00:13:24,672
Yeah, I think I've realised
what the real issue is here.
283
00:13:24,705 --> 00:13:27,454
- OK.
- And that is that I've told you
284
00:13:27,579 --> 00:13:28,822
about what I did.
285
00:13:28,880 --> 00:13:31,779
Oh, you, you don't need
to worry because this is,
286
00:13:31,800 --> 00:13:34,552
- these are confidential.
- That's as may be,
287
00:13:34,580 --> 00:13:37,836
but that information
still exists in your head.
288
00:13:37,868 --> 00:13:39,305
That's where... That's what...
289
00:13:39,324 --> 00:13:41,075
You can see my problem, can't you?
290
00:13:41,079 --> 00:13:43,479
I've got to get that out of your head.
291
00:13:43,880 --> 00:13:46,999
I mean, there's only one way
I can think of to do that.
292
00:13:47,000 --> 00:13:49,065
- It's gone.
- It's not.
293
00:13:49,088 --> 00:13:50,405
- What's not?
- It's still in there.
294
00:13:50,414 --> 00:13:53,460
It's not, it's not. Look,
you told me, yes, you told me
295
00:13:53,480 --> 00:13:56,155
and yes, I know and I
will never reveal it,
296
00:13:56,173 --> 00:13:58,835
- that's the first thing you need to remember.
- I'm just sorry.
297
00:14:00,000 --> 00:14:02,892
- That's understandable.
- Sorry for your kids, really.
298
00:14:02,915 --> 00:14:04,563
- No, Neil.
- I'm sorry, mate.
299
00:14:04,582 --> 00:14:06,037
Neil, you don't need to feel that way.
300
00:14:06,056 --> 00:14:08,989
What you've done is opened up
and you're feeling vulnerable.
301
00:14:09,012 --> 00:14:12,320
Look, I can see this
is difficult for you.
302
00:14:12,347 --> 00:14:14,119
It's difficult for all of us, Neil.
303
00:14:14,120 --> 00:14:16,847
But shit happens, doesn't it? So...
304
00:14:16,857 --> 00:14:20,030
No, no, wait, wait, Neil, no,
wait, Neil, no, wait, please.
305
00:14:20,067 --> 00:14:21,799
- See you later.
- Neil, wait.
306
00:14:22,650 --> 00:14:24,395
Neil!
307
00:14:29,710 --> 00:14:31,359
- Pete, I need a gun.
- What?
308
00:14:31,360 --> 00:14:32,639
- I need a gun.
- Why?
309
00:14:32,640 --> 00:14:35,108
I'm worried he's going to
find me and come and get me.
310
00:14:35,120 --> 00:14:36,359
- Neil?
- Yes.
311
00:14:36,360 --> 00:14:38,693
Listen, we need to get onto...
312
00:14:39,684 --> 00:14:41,199
... the Dark Web.
313
00:14:41,200 --> 00:14:43,275
- What's the Dark Web?
- Shh!
314
00:14:43,283 --> 00:14:44,992
You don't talk about the Dark Web.
315
00:14:45,280 --> 00:14:46,599
You're talking about it now.
316
00:14:46,600 --> 00:14:49,045
We have to think about
ways of getting to the...
317
00:14:49,734 --> 00:14:51,719
We have to start off
with innocent things,
318
00:14:51,720 --> 00:14:54,559
get on the web looking staplers,
or cushions or something.
319
00:14:54,560 --> 00:14:56,538
If you go on there
looking for those things,
320
00:14:56,575 --> 00:14:59,469
you can find certain codes
that leads you through pages
321
00:14:59,491 --> 00:15:01,271
that will get you onto the other side.
322
00:15:01,280 --> 00:15:04,539
- What are you talking about?
- Think about something like, I don't know,
323
00:15:04,542 --> 00:15:07,254
antique cups, jubilee
mugs, I don't know,
324
00:15:07,268 --> 00:15:09,453
something you want to look for on the...
325
00:15:09,903 --> 00:15:11,399
All right, jubilee mugs.
326
00:15:11,400 --> 00:15:14,302
Antique jubilee mugs from 1977.
327
00:15:14,328 --> 00:15:15,839
TYPING
328
00:15:15,840 --> 00:15:17,143
Bring up images.
329
00:15:17,920 --> 00:15:21,837
- Yes.
- Is there one with the Queen upside down?
330
00:15:23,539 --> 00:15:25,565
Oh, yes. Yeah, yeah.
331
00:15:25,600 --> 00:15:26,959
OK, click on that image.
332
00:15:26,960 --> 00:15:28,319
- Right.
- Careful.
333
00:15:28,320 --> 00:15:30,259
It says good condition, 4.99.
334
00:15:30,280 --> 00:15:33,397
- OK, what else?
- The seller's got a 96% rating.
335
00:15:33,600 --> 00:15:34,885
Double-click on that.
336
00:15:35,010 --> 00:15:36,359
They're in Orpington.
337
00:15:36,676 --> 00:15:38,519
- We're getting there.
- Where are we getting?
338
00:15:38,520 --> 00:15:41,956
It's a gateway. Like Bishops
Stortford. They're gateways.
339
00:15:41,960 --> 00:15:43,999
- What, to Kent?
- To the Dark Web.
340
00:15:44,000 --> 00:15:46,239
Will you please stop making
me say it all the time?
341
00:15:46,240 --> 00:15:48,919
Is the town name in highlights?
342
00:15:48,920 --> 00:15:50,728
- Yeah.
- Click on it.
343
00:15:51,697 --> 00:15:54,559
- What comes up?
- The Wikipedia page for Orpington.
344
00:15:54,560 --> 00:15:55,636
Go to maps.
345
00:15:55,761 --> 00:15:58,155
- Yes.
- Find a war memorial.
346
00:15:58,200 --> 00:16:04,690
We're looking for something like
Terry Goddington or Louis Cypher.
347
00:16:06,400 --> 00:16:07,645
You don't know what your doing, do you?
348
00:16:07,656 --> 00:16:10,419
Just find a name that looks
religiously suspicious.
349
00:16:10,438 --> 00:16:11,503
OK, I've found a name.
350
00:16:11,520 --> 00:16:13,294
- What does it say?
- Arthur Bishop.
351
00:16:13,349 --> 00:16:15,555
- Might work.
- Right.
352
00:16:15,560 --> 00:16:16,750
Anything?
353
00:16:17,240 --> 00:16:20,213
- He's from Orpington.
- Oh, my God. Really?
354
00:16:20,802 --> 00:16:22,199
OK, send me the link.
355
00:16:22,265 --> 00:16:25,585
TYPING
356
00:16:25,883 --> 00:16:27,875
This is dangerous stuff, Richard.
357
00:16:27,925 --> 00:16:30,209
What, we might end up
with a mug we don't want?
358
00:16:30,249 --> 00:16:32,006
- PHONE RINGS
- Fucking hell.
359
00:16:32,043 --> 00:16:34,549
- Oh, hello.
- Richard, I need you to help me.
360
00:16:34,560 --> 00:16:36,159
I've been very, very anxious.
361
00:16:36,160 --> 00:16:38,000
Right. You may have seen we had
362
00:16:38,008 --> 00:16:40,841
a bit of a press debacle and
I'm very squeezed in, Richard.
363
00:16:40,852 --> 00:16:42,152
I've got to manage the PR on this
364
00:16:42,155 --> 00:16:44,211
and Nigel's drinking all the time,
365
00:16:44,226 --> 00:16:45,552
he's drunk and I'm
having to drag him up,
366
00:16:45,566 --> 00:16:47,221
and that's why we're doing
the photo session again,
367
00:16:47,240 --> 00:16:48,739
Richard, because he
couldn't stand up properly.
368
00:16:49,038 --> 00:16:50,571
- And Robin's gone to Kuta Beach.
- Kuta Beach?
369
00:16:50,589 --> 00:16:52,568
- Kuta Beach, in Bali.
- Nigel's lover?
370
00:16:52,693 --> 00:16:53,838
- Right.
- Spending all our money...
371
00:16:53,882 --> 00:16:55,035
- Oh, it's your money?
- ... sitting in little beach bars,
372
00:16:55,061 --> 00:16:57,036
probably sucking off
all kinds of natives.
373
00:16:57,058 --> 00:16:58,366
- What I want to say...
- This is the moment
374
00:16:58,395 --> 00:17:00,256
where you give me the help, the advice,
375
00:17:00,271 --> 00:17:01,778
the what I'm fucking paying you for.
376
00:17:01,800 --> 00:17:03,248
This is it, Pitt.
377
00:17:03,923 --> 00:17:05,506
I understand you're angry.
378
00:17:05,529 --> 00:17:07,961
I understand that you're going
through a very difficult time
379
00:17:07,968 --> 00:17:11,396
and it's absolutely valid that
you're feeling the way you're feeling.
380
00:17:11,414 --> 00:17:12,803
Yes, well, that's all
well and good, is it,
381
00:17:12,814 --> 00:17:14,863
but what are you going to do about it?
382
00:17:14,880 --> 00:17:17,077
It's OK to be vulnerable, Fiona.
383
00:17:17,121 --> 00:17:18,838
No feeling lasts forever
384
00:17:18,857 --> 00:17:21,260
and it's human to feel vulnerable.
385
00:17:21,280 --> 00:17:23,278
- It's human to feel weak.
- Yes.
386
00:17:23,293 --> 00:17:25,967
It's human to feel out of control.
387
00:17:26,040 --> 00:17:27,423
It's OK.
388
00:17:27,445 --> 00:17:29,106
I'm going to face the press.
389
00:17:29,129 --> 00:17:30,635
- Yeah.
- I'm going to say, you...
390
00:17:30,646 --> 00:17:32,139
- Yeah.
- ... see me...
391
00:17:32,160 --> 00:17:34,438
- Yeah.
- ... Fiona Fucking Bellingham.
392
00:17:34,440 --> 00:17:36,955
- Yeah.
- I'm going to say to Nigel, "Fuck off!"
393
00:17:36,962 --> 00:17:39,305
- Right.
- I'm going to come out and I'm gonna say,
394
00:17:39,320 --> 00:17:42,488
"Do you want a piece
of me, you peasants?"
395
00:17:43,063 --> 00:17:45,075
- Yeah.
- You're a fucking genius, Richard.
396
00:17:45,100 --> 00:17:46,563
I have to admit, I had my doubts
397
00:17:46,578 --> 00:17:48,584
when I first saw you in
your shitty little house.
398
00:17:48,599 --> 00:17:51,237
But you've resurrected a
supreme Fiona Bellingham
399
00:17:51,263 --> 00:17:53,779
from the ashes. I am
your Phoenix, Richard.
400
00:17:53,797 --> 00:17:55,949
- Well done. You've done very well.
- That's very kind of you.
401
00:17:55,960 --> 00:17:58,175
I don't want to talk about me,
though. What I would like to talk about
402
00:17:58,300 --> 00:17:59,541
is money for the sessions.
403
00:17:59,560 --> 00:18:03,292
Still doesn't seem to have
arrived in my bank account.
404
00:18:03,351 --> 00:18:05,425
- Fucking Robin.
- Robin's taken...
405
00:18:05,440 --> 00:18:07,467
And he's spending it
like nobody's business.
406
00:18:07,533 --> 00:18:10,017
But do you know what, there's something
more important than money, Richard,
407
00:18:10,040 --> 00:18:11,325
- and that's honour.
- Yeah...
408
00:18:11,340 --> 00:18:13,145
And I think we can join hands,
409
00:18:13,160 --> 00:18:16,383
can we not, across the divide and
say we stand shoulder to shoulder,
410
00:18:16,417 --> 00:18:19,537
that you've helped someone far
superior to you in every way
411
00:18:19,560 --> 00:18:22,683
and it just goes to show you
that people like you can do it.
412
00:18:27,360 --> 00:18:28,965
- Richard.
- Yes?
413
00:18:29,000 --> 00:18:31,504
Richard, I don't know if
genius is too strong a word,
414
00:18:31,520 --> 00:18:32,919
but I'm going to use it.
415
00:18:32,920 --> 00:18:36,894
- You are a genius.
- So everything is worked out for the best?
416
00:18:36,920 --> 00:18:38,879
Better than I could
ever have dreamed of.
417
00:18:38,880 --> 00:18:40,999
And the more I think
back on all our talks,
418
00:18:41,000 --> 00:18:43,399
you've masterminded the
whole thing from day one.
419
00:18:43,400 --> 00:18:45,063
I mean, you obviously understood
420
00:18:45,070 --> 00:18:47,450
that Izzy would come by to collect stuff
421
00:18:47,472 --> 00:18:50,920
and I would end up talking to
her about my emotional debt,
422
00:18:50,938 --> 00:18:52,479
about all these experiences.
423
00:18:52,480 --> 00:18:54,923
- Right.
- And as soon as I started talking to her...
424
00:18:54,945 --> 00:18:56,016
- Yeah.
- ... about these things,
425
00:18:56,053 --> 00:18:58,231
it was like this veil
lifted from her eyes.
426
00:18:58,253 --> 00:18:59,992
And we looked at each
other and we thought,
427
00:19:00,029 --> 00:19:01,853
not only should we not be breaking up,
428
00:19:02,063 --> 00:19:03,715
we can never be apart.
429
00:19:03,909 --> 00:19:05,519
Of course we can't.
430
00:19:05,520 --> 00:19:10,083
I feel only now divesting
myself of all this crap.
431
00:19:10,245 --> 00:19:13,417
- And now I am free and I am a man.
- OK.
432
00:19:13,432 --> 00:19:16,116
I'm going to do something
now that I don't do with many
433
00:19:16,189 --> 00:19:18,440
- of my clients.
- Please.
434
00:19:18,455 --> 00:19:24,103
I would like to give you
an old-fashioned one-on-one,
435
00:19:24,126 --> 00:19:26,795
in-person therapy session.
436
00:19:26,849 --> 00:19:28,529
Are you up for that?
437
00:19:30,510 --> 00:19:32,595
- Absolutely.
- Great.
438
00:19:32,623 --> 00:19:35,901
What I suggest is you come
here, tomorrow at 2.30pm,
439
00:19:36,228 --> 00:19:39,692
let's talk face-to-face.
440
00:19:39,920 --> 00:19:42,921
- Richard, I can't tell you...
- I want to introduce you...
441
00:19:43,508 --> 00:19:45,675
... to a couple of concepts.
442
00:19:45,690 --> 00:19:48,408
PHONE RINGS
443
00:19:48,644 --> 00:19:50,974
- Werner.
- Hello, Richard.
444
00:19:51,000 --> 00:19:54,681
- Are you all right?
- Yeah, I am, to you a very thankful
445
00:19:54,695 --> 00:19:56,999
person that you answer me.
446
00:19:57,000 --> 00:19:58,651
Where are you?
447
00:19:59,364 --> 00:20:03,661
So, I am by the police in Zurich.
448
00:20:03,680 --> 00:20:07,382
- Why?
- You know, the deal is,
449
00:20:07,451 --> 00:20:09,492
yeah, is gone in the trousers.
450
00:20:09,520 --> 00:20:11,301
There was a journalist,
451
00:20:11,375 --> 00:20:13,669
he make very difficult questions,
452
00:20:13,680 --> 00:20:18,389
what is going on, what makes
Werner Leinhard with all this money?
453
00:20:18,785 --> 00:20:23,049
- Can I please tell you...
- Oh, Werner, is this the time...
454
00:20:23,080 --> 00:20:24,955
Very, for me, very important.
455
00:20:24,972 --> 00:20:27,373
All this time I say that Karen,
456
00:20:27,586 --> 00:20:32,071
she want only to make
fun with my genital.
457
00:20:32,080 --> 00:20:34,770
- Yes. There's been a lot of that.
- It's not true.
458
00:20:34,793 --> 00:20:38,060
- She doesn't want to have fun with your genitals?
- No. She is...
459
00:20:38,493 --> 00:20:40,778
... the most fantastisch dame.
460
00:20:40,796 --> 00:20:43,683
And you are very lucky man.
461
00:20:43,997 --> 00:20:48,330
- Are you OK?
- Well, I've watched many prison movies.
462
00:20:48,360 --> 00:20:51,527
For example, the Shawshank Redemptions
463
00:20:51,545 --> 00:20:54,915
and so I don't have a shower.
464
00:20:54,985 --> 00:20:59,098
The sisters, they are one after
another upside your asshole.
465
00:20:59,535 --> 00:21:01,543
- Right, I... I...
- I love you?
466
00:21:04,620 --> 00:21:06,090
- Richard.
- Abs.
467
00:21:06,118 --> 00:21:07,352
- Richard.
- Where are you?
468
00:21:07,379 --> 00:21:09,208
- I'm in the hospital.
- What, are you all right?
469
00:21:09,231 --> 00:21:10,760
- Karen's collapsed.
- What?
470
00:21:10,806 --> 00:21:14,864
It's OK, it's OK, it's fine. It's fine.
It's OK, it's just nervous exhaustion.
471
00:21:14,880 --> 00:21:17,075
- Where is she?
- She's here, look.
472
00:21:17,089 --> 00:21:19,718
- Put her on.
- No, she can't, she's passed out.
473
00:21:19,732 --> 00:21:22,022
Look, she's fine, look, I just
need to talk to you for a bit.
474
00:21:22,027 --> 00:21:24,491
- What do you mean she's passed out?
- Richard, please,
475
00:21:24,523 --> 00:21:27,828
- just focus on me for a minute.
- No, I will not focus on you, Abs.
476
00:21:27,840 --> 00:21:30,198
- I don't know who I am.
- Abs.
477
00:21:30,323 --> 00:21:32,944
- Pass me to a doctor.
- I can't.
478
00:21:32,996 --> 00:21:37,289
- Where are you, Abs?
- Friesenberg Municipal Hospital in Zurich.
479
00:21:37,320 --> 00:21:40,617
- Friesenberg.
- Please, I just need some advice, please.
480
00:21:40,640 --> 00:21:43,155
- Abs, Abs, listen to me.
- I can't deal with this, I can't.
481
00:21:43,173 --> 00:21:45,315
You have to look after
my wife, you have to...
482
00:21:45,322 --> 00:21:46,959
CALL DROPS OUT
483
00:21:46,960 --> 00:21:49,191
PHONE RINGS
484
00:21:49,218 --> 00:21:51,365
Hello. Listen, I'm in big trouble.
485
00:21:51,374 --> 00:21:53,155
I've come to the end
of my lollipop, Richard.
486
00:21:53,184 --> 00:21:55,726
- What?
- Yes, I'm done with analysis,
487
00:21:55,754 --> 00:21:58,439
- therapy, psychodynamics.
- No, no, no. No, you're not.
488
00:21:58,440 --> 00:22:01,489
I'm done because I
don't really believe...
489
00:22:02,884 --> 00:22:04,759
... any of this does any good.
490
00:22:04,760 --> 00:22:06,389
I'm here to tell you that is not true,
491
00:22:06,400 --> 00:22:08,999
because you have achieved
an enormous amount with me.
492
00:22:09,000 --> 00:22:11,423
I have a much better
relationship with my anus
493
00:22:11,437 --> 00:22:15,263
- and with every anus out there.
- I want you to be released.
494
00:22:15,280 --> 00:22:17,039
I reject the release. I reject it.
495
00:22:17,040 --> 00:22:18,464
I'm not having it.
496
00:22:19,482 --> 00:22:22,679
Thing is, I haven't been
strictly honest with you.
497
00:22:22,680 --> 00:22:24,719
I have a serious problem.
498
00:22:24,720 --> 00:22:29,635
A man, a violent man, who I
owe a huge amount of money to.
499
00:22:29,760 --> 00:22:32,900
I have lied to my wife, I've lied
to you, I've lied to my family...
500
00:22:32,920 --> 00:22:34,519
Shall I be more honest with you?
501
00:22:34,520 --> 00:22:36,912
- Yes.
- You bore the shit out of me.
502
00:22:37,276 --> 00:22:39,519
- What?
- You bore me shitless.
503
00:22:40,210 --> 00:22:44,595
You wallow in an oceanic
shitfest of failure.
504
00:22:44,635 --> 00:22:47,053
- So?
- That's your default mode,
505
00:22:47,071 --> 00:22:50,799
to be the victim, floating around
in an ocean of your own shit.
506
00:22:50,800 --> 00:22:52,319
I don't need the shit.
507
00:22:52,320 --> 00:22:56,199
I want the shit because I
thought you wanted my shit.
508
00:22:56,200 --> 00:22:59,359
You liked the shit and
you listened to my shit.
509
00:22:59,360 --> 00:23:01,202
I'm signing off, Richard.
510
00:23:01,708 --> 00:23:04,242
With a quote, as is my wont.
511
00:23:05,227 --> 00:23:06,576
You...
512
00:23:07,695 --> 00:23:09,307
... are the horror.
513
00:23:10,173 --> 00:23:12,065
The horror.
514
00:23:12,931 --> 00:23:14,723
The horror.
515
00:23:17,319 --> 00:23:22,319
- Synced and corrected by chamallow -
- www.addic7ed.com -
40163
Can't find what you're looking for?
Get subtitles in any language from opensubtitles.com, and translate them here.