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1
00:00:10,681 --> 00:00:12,181
GOOD MORNING, MOM.
2
00:00:12,183 --> 00:00:13,783
OH. GABE, HONEY.
WE NEED TO TALK.
3
00:00:13,784 --> 00:00:16,154
MOM, I DIDN'T DO IT!
THAT PRINCIPAL'S OUT TO GET ME.
4
00:00:18,049 --> 00:00:19,719
IT'S NOT ABOUT
THE PRINCIPAL.
5
00:00:19,720 --> 00:00:21,720
MOM, I DIDN'T DO IT!
THAT TEACHER IS OUT TO GET ME.
6
00:00:23,224 --> 00:00:25,534
GABE! YOU'RE NOT
IN TROUBLE.
7
00:00:25,526 --> 00:00:28,356
THEN WHY DO WE NEED
TO TALK?
8
00:00:29,660 --> 00:00:31,530
WELL, IT'S ABOUT
YOUR DAD.
9
00:00:31,532 --> 00:00:35,812
NOW YOU'RE AWARE THAT
HE OCCASIONALLY SNORES, RIGHT?
10
00:00:35,806 --> 00:00:39,336
MOM, THE PEOPLE ACROSS
THE STREET ARE AWARE.
11
00:00:41,342 --> 00:00:44,352
CAR ALARMS ARE AWARE.
12
00:00:44,345 --> 00:00:46,515
KANSAS IS AWARE.
13
00:00:48,119 --> 00:00:50,119
WELL, OBVIOUSLY,
I'M USED TO HIS SNORING
14
00:00:50,121 --> 00:00:51,781
'CAUSE I GREW UP
NEXT TO TRAIN TRACKS.
15
00:00:53,824 --> 00:00:55,694
BUT YOUR FATHER'S BEEN
WAKING TOBY UP
16
00:00:55,686 --> 00:00:56,826
AND I'M TRYING TO GET
THE BABY TO SLEEP
17
00:00:56,827 --> 00:00:58,087
THROUGH THE NIGHT.
18
00:00:59,330 --> 00:01:00,760
HOW DOES THIS
INVOLVE ME?
19
00:01:00,761 --> 00:01:02,591
WE'RE GOING TO HAVE
TO TEMPORARILY
20
00:01:02,593 --> 00:01:04,803
CHANGE OUR
SLEEPING ARRANGEMENTS.
21
00:01:04,795 --> 00:01:06,665
MAN, YOU'RE PUTTING TOBY
IN WITH ME?
22
00:01:06,667 --> 00:01:07,837
NOT EXACTLY.
23
00:01:09,100 --> 00:01:10,200
HEY, ROOMIE!
24
00:01:13,144 --> 00:01:16,084
( rock music playing )
25
00:01:16,076 --> 00:01:17,676
♪ TODAY'S ALL BURNT TOAST ♪
26
00:01:17,678 --> 00:01:19,448
♪ RUNNING LATE
AND DAD JOKES ♪
27
00:01:19,450 --> 00:01:22,310
♪ "HAS ANYBODY
SEEN MY LEFT SHOE?" ♪
28
00:01:22,313 --> 00:01:24,223
♪ I CLOSE MY EYES,
TAKE A BITE ♪
29
00:01:24,215 --> 00:01:25,615
♪ GRAB A RIDE,
LAUGH OUT LOUD ♪
30
00:01:25,616 --> 00:01:27,616
♪ THERE IT IS
UP ON THE ROOF ♪
31
00:01:29,220 --> 00:01:32,320
♪ I'VE BEEN THERE,
I SURVIVED ♪
32
00:01:32,323 --> 00:01:35,503
♪ SO JUST TAKE
MY ADVICE ♪
33
00:01:35,496 --> 00:01:37,496
♪ HANG IN THERE, BABY ♪
34
00:01:37,498 --> 00:01:39,198
♪ THINGS ARE CRAZY ♪
35
00:01:39,200 --> 00:01:41,870
♪ BUT I KNOW
YOUR FUTURE'S BRIGHT ♪
36
00:01:41,872 --> 00:01:43,702
♪ HANG IN THERE, BABY ♪
37
00:01:43,704 --> 00:01:45,514
♪ THERE'S NO MAYBE ♪
38
00:01:45,506 --> 00:01:48,436
♪ EVERYTHING
TURNS OUT ALL RIGHT ♪
39
00:01:48,439 --> 00:01:50,679
♪ SURE LIFE
IS UP AND DOWN ♪
40
00:01:50,681 --> 00:01:54,521
♪ BUT TRUST ME,
IT COMES BACK AROUND ♪
41
00:01:54,515 --> 00:01:58,445
♪ YOU'RE GONNA LOVE
WHO YOU TURN OUT TO BE ♪
42
00:01:59,450 --> 00:02:01,750
♪ HANG IN THERE, BABY. ♪
43
00:02:08,199 --> 00:02:09,699
( doorbell rings )
44
00:02:10,731 --> 00:02:12,561
( slight gasp )
THERE HE IS.
45
00:02:12,563 --> 00:02:15,543
MR. VICTOR DELESEUR,
LADIES AND GENTLEMEN.
46
00:02:15,536 --> 00:02:17,736
THE SMARTEST GUY
AT SOUTH HIGH.
47
00:02:17,738 --> 00:02:18,838
WHAT DO YOU WANT,
TEDDY?
48
00:02:20,911 --> 00:02:23,271
WHAT? DO I ALWAYS
HAVE TO WANT SOMETHING?
49
00:02:23,274 --> 00:02:25,324
CAN'T I JUST
INVITE YOU OVER
50
00:02:25,316 --> 00:02:26,546
AS A FRIEND
TO ENJOY SOME--
51
00:02:26,547 --> 00:02:27,877
OKAY,
SO HERE IT IS.
52
00:02:29,250 --> 00:02:31,420
UM, I'M TAKING
THE S.A.T. THIS WEEKEND
53
00:02:31,422 --> 00:02:33,552
AND I REALLY WANT
TO ACE IT.
54
00:02:33,554 --> 00:02:35,234
AND I YOU MY HELP,
SINCE YOU KNOW
55
00:02:35,226 --> 00:02:37,226
I SCORED A PERFECT
2400.
56
00:02:37,228 --> 00:02:39,388
THEY ACTUALLY DID
A FEATURE STORY ON ME
57
00:02:39,390 --> 00:02:40,890
IN "OVERACHIEVERS
MONTHLY."
58
00:02:42,593 --> 00:02:44,603
YEAH YEAH, I KNOW.
I CUT IT OUT
59
00:02:44,595 --> 00:02:46,235
AND PUT IT
IN MY SCRAPBOOK.
60
00:02:47,238 --> 00:02:48,638
- REALLY?!
- NO.
61
00:02:50,801 --> 00:02:52,671
SO, WHAT DO YOU SAY?
WILL YOU HELP ME?
62
00:02:52,673 --> 00:02:54,383
UNDER ONE CONDITION...
63
00:02:54,375 --> 00:02:56,505
IF I TUTOR YOU,
YOU HAVE TO AGREE
64
00:02:56,507 --> 00:02:59,277
TO DO WHATEVER I SAY
NO MATTER WHAT.
65
00:02:59,280 --> 00:03:00,450
FINE.
66
00:03:00,451 --> 00:03:02,381
NOW JUST TELL ME
WHAT YOU WANT IN RETURN.
67
00:03:02,383 --> 00:03:05,623
DO I ALWAYS HAVE
TO WANT SOMETHING?
68
00:03:05,616 --> 00:03:07,616
CAN'T I JUST DO IT
OUT OF THE GOODNESS--
69
00:03:07,618 --> 00:03:08,758
OKAY, HERE IT IS.
70
00:03:10,361 --> 00:03:12,661
I WANT YOU TO COME
TO THE PARK WITH ME
THIS SATURDAY.
71
00:03:12,663 --> 00:03:14,673
WAIT. YOU MEAN
LIKE A DATE?
72
00:03:14,665 --> 00:03:17,265
I WOULD NEVER
ASK YOU OUT.
73
00:03:17,268 --> 00:03:18,768
YOU HAVE A BOYFRIEND,
I HAVE A GIRLFRIEND
74
00:03:18,769 --> 00:03:20,299
AND MOST IMPORTANTLY,
75
00:03:20,301 --> 00:03:21,931
I HAVE CERTAIN
INTELLECTUAL STANDARDS.
76
00:03:23,704 --> 00:03:26,384
INSULTED,
YET RELIEVED.
77
00:03:26,377 --> 00:03:28,407
SO WHAT ARE WE GONNA DO
AT THE PARK?
78
00:03:28,409 --> 00:03:29,709
I HAVE A VERY IMPORTANT
CHESS MATCH
79
00:03:29,710 --> 00:03:30,880
AND I'D LIKE YOU
TO WATCH.
80
00:03:30,881 --> 00:03:32,581
- THAT'S IT?
- THAT'S IT.
81
00:03:32,583 --> 00:03:34,593
THERE'S GOTTA BE
SOME SORT OF CATCH.
82
00:03:34,585 --> 00:03:36,485
NO CATCH.
JUST CHESS.
83
00:03:36,487 --> 00:03:38,987
IS CHESS A EUPHEMISM
FOR SOMETHING?
84
00:03:38,989 --> 00:03:43,489
LIKE SOME SORT OF WEIRD
COMIC BOOK ROLE-PLAYING
THING?
85
00:03:45,296 --> 00:03:46,356
NO.
86
00:03:46,357 --> 00:03:48,227
OKAY. FINE.
87
00:03:48,228 --> 00:03:50,398
IF YOU TUTOR ME,
I'LL COME TO THE PARK
88
00:03:50,401 --> 00:03:52,231
AND I'LL WATCH YOU
PLAY "CHESS."
89
00:03:54,234 --> 00:03:55,874
NO, NOT "CHESS."
90
00:03:55,866 --> 00:03:57,436
JUST CHESS.
91
00:03:57,438 --> 00:03:58,908
YOU MEAN, "CHESS."
92
00:04:00,471 --> 00:04:02,471
NO! NOT "CHESS."
93
00:04:02,473 --> 00:04:03,973
JUST CHESS!
94
00:04:03,974 --> 00:04:05,724
THIS MAY BE THE TOUGHEST
TUTORING I'VE EVER DONE.
95
00:04:11,382 --> 00:04:13,252
( baby-talk )
OH, THAT IS SO YUMMY.
96
00:04:13,253 --> 00:04:15,333
ISN'T IT GOOD?
97
00:04:15,326 --> 00:04:19,326
CHARLIE, HAVE YOU EVER SEEN
A CUTER BABY IN YOUR LIFE?
98
00:04:19,330 --> 00:04:20,360
- YES.
- WHO?
99
00:04:20,361 --> 00:04:22,291
ME.
100
00:04:24,295 --> 00:04:26,265
YOU ARE
YOUR MOTHER'S DAUGHTER.
101
00:04:28,299 --> 00:04:29,969
HI, MOM.
HI, CHARLIE.
102
00:04:29,970 --> 00:04:31,470
PJ, I NEED YOUR HELP.
103
00:04:31,472 --> 00:04:34,482
SURE, MOM.
WHAT CAN I DO YOU FOR?
104
00:04:34,475 --> 00:04:35,445
IT'S A FUN LITTLE WAY
OF SAYING,
105
00:04:35,446 --> 00:04:36,846
"WHAT CAN I DO
FOR YOU?"
106
00:04:38,579 --> 00:04:40,379
PROCEED.
107
00:04:40,381 --> 00:04:42,711
I REALLY NEED TO PUT
TOBY DOWN FOR A NAP.
108
00:04:42,713 --> 00:04:44,423
BUT CHARLIE WANTS ME
TO READ TO HER.
109
00:04:44,415 --> 00:04:45,315
CAN YOU DO IT?
110
00:04:45,316 --> 00:04:46,716
OH, YEAH. SURE.
I GOT TIME FOR A
111
00:04:46,717 --> 00:04:49,487
QUICK LITTLE--
WHOA! HELLO.
112
00:04:49,490 --> 00:04:51,420
CHARLIE WANTS THIS BOOK?
113
00:04:51,422 --> 00:04:53,062
WOULD YOU RATHER
CHANGE TOBY'S DIAPER?
114
00:04:53,063 --> 00:04:54,063
COME ON, BUDDY.
115
00:04:55,526 --> 00:04:57,366
"THE LITTLEST UNICORN."
116
00:04:58,969 --> 00:05:00,799
"BY EMILY PRETTYBLOSSOM."
117
00:05:00,801 --> 00:05:03,471
- YAY.
- OKAY. CHAPTER ONE.
118
00:05:03,474 --> 00:05:06,384
"SOME PEOPLE SAY
THAT UNICORNS AREN'T REAL,
119
00:05:06,377 --> 00:05:07,377
BUT THEY ARE.
120
00:05:07,378 --> 00:05:09,378
THEY HAIL FROM
A MAGICAL PLACE
121
00:05:09,380 --> 00:05:11,680
CALLED BUTTERFLYLANDIA."
122
00:05:11,682 --> 00:05:14,392
OH, BOY.
123
00:05:14,385 --> 00:05:16,915
KEEP GOING.
124
00:05:16,917 --> 00:05:19,447
"THIS IS THE STORY
OF ONE OF THOSE UNICORNS,
125
00:05:19,450 --> 00:05:20,920
THE LITTLEST ONE
OF ALL.
126
00:05:20,921 --> 00:05:23,921
HER NAME WAS JUNIE.
HER REAL NAME, THAT IS.
127
00:05:23,924 --> 00:05:25,464
HER MEAN BROTHERS
CALLED HER
128
00:05:25,456 --> 00:05:26,596
'JUNIE THE PUNY UNI.'"
129
00:05:26,597 --> 00:05:27,727
THAT'S NOT VERY NICE.
130
00:05:27,728 --> 00:05:28,898
NO, IT ISN'T.
131
00:05:28,899 --> 00:05:30,059
SHH.
132
00:05:30,060 --> 00:05:31,900
"ONE DAY, JUNIE
AND HER FAMILY
133
00:05:31,902 --> 00:05:33,732
WENT TO THE MEADOW
FOR A PICNIC.
134
00:05:33,734 --> 00:05:37,074
THE MEADOW WAS RIGHT NEXT
TO THE DARK FOREST,
135
00:05:37,067 --> 00:05:39,407
A PLACE JUNIE
WAS FORBIDDEN TO GO.
136
00:05:39,410 --> 00:05:41,440
BUT HER CURIOSITY
GOT THE BETTER OF HER."
137
00:05:41,442 --> 00:05:43,372
- UH-OH.
- I'M THIRSTY.
138
00:05:43,374 --> 00:05:45,684
SUCK IT UP.
JUNIE'S IN TROUBLE.
139
00:05:53,384 --> 00:05:55,034
SO, WHAT'S THE ANSWER?
140
00:05:55,025 --> 00:05:57,555
( sighing )
UH...
141
00:05:57,558 --> 00:05:58,388
"C"?
142
00:05:58,389 --> 00:06:00,459
NO NO NO, IT'S "B"!
143
00:06:00,461 --> 00:06:01,631
WELL, I WAS CLOSE.
144
00:06:03,093 --> 00:06:05,473
TEDDY,
THIS IS THE S.A.T.s,
145
00:06:05,466 --> 00:06:06,436
NOT HORSESHOES!
146
00:06:07,668 --> 00:06:08,998
YOU KNOW WHAT?
147
00:06:08,999 --> 00:06:10,669
WE'VE BEEN GOING AT THIS
FOR A WHILE.
148
00:06:10,671 --> 00:06:12,141
MAYBE WE SHOULD STOP.
149
00:06:12,142 --> 00:06:14,512
STOP? BUT THE TEST
IS SATURDAY.
150
00:06:14,505 --> 00:06:16,005
YOU CAN'T STOP NOW.
151
00:06:16,006 --> 00:06:17,576
LET'S MOVE ON TO MATH.
152
00:06:17,578 --> 00:06:19,448
- IN A PARALLELOGRAM--
- YEAH, VICTOR.
153
00:06:19,450 --> 00:06:20,750
I DON'T THINK
I CAN STUDY ANYMORE.
154
00:06:20,751 --> 00:06:22,551
I FEEL LIKE MY BRAIN
IS FULL.
155
00:06:22,553 --> 00:06:24,523
THAT'S THE GREAT THING
ABOUT BRAINS,
156
00:06:24,515 --> 00:06:25,855
THEY NEVER GET FULL.
157
00:06:25,856 --> 00:06:27,616
EVEN SMALLER ONES
LIKE YOURS.
158
00:06:27,618 --> 00:06:29,788
OKAY.
159
00:06:29,790 --> 00:06:33,420
I'LL HAVE YOU KNOW,
MY FRIENDS CONSIDER ME
VERY SMART.
160
00:06:33,424 --> 00:06:35,134
YOU MEAN LIKE IVY?
161
00:06:37,428 --> 00:06:39,768
WELL, AND OTHER FRIENDS.
162
00:06:39,770 --> 00:06:41,670
YOU MEAN LIKE SPENCER?
163
00:06:45,075 --> 00:06:46,075
LET'S GET BACK
TO WORK.
164
00:06:52,613 --> 00:06:55,753
"AND AS THE SUN SET
ON THE DARK FOREST,
165
00:06:55,746 --> 00:06:56,916
JUNIE REALIZED
SHE WOULD
166
00:06:56,917 --> 00:06:59,447
HAVE TO SURVIVE
THE NIGHT ALONE."
167
00:06:59,450 --> 00:07:01,590
ARE YOU SCARED?
168
00:07:01,592 --> 00:07:02,952
NO.
169
00:07:02,953 --> 00:07:05,533
( voice trembling )
ME EITHER.
170
00:07:07,127 --> 00:07:09,057
OKAY, BEDTIME.
171
00:07:09,059 --> 00:07:11,499
FIVE MORE MINUTES.
WE WANNA FINISH THIS CHAPTER.
172
00:07:11,502 --> 00:07:14,612
I'M SORRY, HONEY.
BUT CHARLIE NEEDS TO GO TO BED.
173
00:07:14,605 --> 00:07:16,605
THAT'S THE KIND OF PARENTING
THAT DROVE JUNIE AWAY
174
00:07:16,607 --> 00:07:18,907
FROM THE GREEN PASTURES
OF BUTTERFLYLANDIA.
175
00:07:21,441 --> 00:07:23,441
OKAY. WELL, IT'S BEDTIME
176
00:07:23,443 --> 00:07:25,453
AND I'M FROM THE LAND
OF "I-DON'T-CARE-IA."
177
00:07:27,548 --> 00:07:28,978
COME ON, CHARLIE.
178
00:07:28,979 --> 00:07:30,649
AND DON'T WORRY.
I WON'T READ AHEAD
WITHOUT YOU.
179
00:07:30,651 --> 00:07:31,821
PROMISE?
180
00:07:31,822 --> 00:07:33,752
PROMISE.
GOOD NIGHT.
181
00:07:33,754 --> 00:07:34,794
GOOD NIGHT.
182
00:07:45,496 --> 00:07:46,796
I SAID GOOD NIGHT.
183
00:07:49,800 --> 00:07:51,140
( groaning )
OH.
184
00:07:57,207 --> 00:07:58,207
GABE.
185
00:07:59,479 --> 00:08:00,649
YEAH, DAD?
186
00:08:00,651 --> 00:08:02,581
YOU AWAKE?
187
00:08:02,583 --> 00:08:03,583
NO, DAD.
188
00:08:06,517 --> 00:08:08,187
YOU WANNA TALK?
189
00:08:08,188 --> 00:08:09,558
NO, DAD.
190
00:08:12,993 --> 00:08:16,173
YOUR MOM USUALLY LETS ME
TALK ABOUT MY DAY A LITTLE.
191
00:08:16,166 --> 00:08:18,066
IT HELPS ME FALL ASLEEP.
192
00:08:20,601 --> 00:08:22,731
( sighing )
OKAY, DAD.
193
00:08:22,733 --> 00:08:24,583
HOW WAS YOUR DAY?
194
00:08:24,575 --> 00:08:28,175
WELL, I WAS OVER
AT MRS. FISHER'S TODAY...
195
00:08:28,178 --> 00:08:29,178
WORKIN'.
196
00:08:31,682 --> 00:08:35,152
( sighs ) HAD TO KNOCK DOWN
SO MANY SPIDERWEBS.
197
00:08:35,145 --> 00:08:36,645
SHE FINALLY CAME UP
TO ME AND SHE SAID,
198
00:08:36,647 --> 00:08:38,517
"BOB, DID YOU MISS A WEEK?"
I SAID,
199
00:08:38,518 --> 00:08:41,148
"NO, YOU JUST HAVE
A LOT OF SPIDERS."
200
00:08:45,155 --> 00:08:46,525
GOOD NIGHT.
201
00:08:51,161 --> 00:08:52,531
GABE?
202
00:08:52,532 --> 00:08:53,662
( exhales )
203
00:08:55,105 --> 00:08:57,805
DAD, IF YOU CAN'T SLEEP,
JUST WATCH SOME TV.
204
00:08:57,808 --> 00:08:59,668
BUT IT'S BEDTIME.
205
00:09:01,541 --> 00:09:02,571
IS IT?
206
00:09:02,573 --> 00:09:04,583
- ( TV turns on )
- WHOA!
207
00:09:04,575 --> 00:09:06,645
WHOA WHOA!
208
00:09:06,647 --> 00:09:08,947
TV AFTER BEDTIME?
209
00:09:08,949 --> 00:09:10,979
HOW OFTEN YOU DO THIS?
210
00:09:10,981 --> 00:09:12,651
UM...
211
00:09:12,653 --> 00:09:14,593
THIS IS, UH--
THIS IS MY FIRST TIME, DAD.
212
00:09:19,590 --> 00:09:21,730
NOW, IF THE
SEMICIRCLE
ARC "AB"
213
00:09:21,732 --> 00:09:23,762
HAS THE LENGTH
SIX TIMES PI,
214
00:09:23,764 --> 00:09:24,904
AND THE
CIRCUMFERENCE
OF THE CIRCLE
215
00:09:24,895 --> 00:09:25,895
WITH THE
DIAMETER "BC"
216
00:09:25,896 --> 00:09:27,896
IS EIGHT TIMES PI...
217
00:09:29,139 --> 00:09:31,039
WHAT IS THE AREA
OF THE SHADED REGION?!
218
00:09:32,603 --> 00:09:34,613
UM...
219
00:09:34,605 --> 00:09:35,605
"B."
220
00:09:35,606 --> 00:09:37,776
- WRONG!
- OH!
221
00:09:37,778 --> 00:09:39,648
WHAT ARE YOU DOING?!
222
00:09:39,650 --> 00:09:41,980
I'M GIVING YOU A PUNISHMENT
TO TRAIN YOUR BRAIN.
223
00:09:41,982 --> 00:09:46,362
VICTOR, I'M NOT A CAT.
224
00:09:48,188 --> 00:09:49,688
WELL, OF COURSE NOT.
225
00:09:49,690 --> 00:09:52,060
A CAT COULD HAVE
SOLVED THAT EQUATION.
226
00:09:53,664 --> 00:09:55,674
IT'S MIDNIGHT.
WE'RE DONE WORKING.
227
00:09:55,666 --> 00:09:57,996
WE'RE DONE?
JUST BECAUSE...
228
00:09:57,998 --> 00:09:59,168
( mocking )
"IT'S MIDNIGHT."
229
00:09:59,169 --> 00:10:00,699
( fake sobbing )
230
00:10:01,702 --> 00:10:03,702
YES, THAT IS WHAT I SAID.
231
00:10:03,704 --> 00:10:05,884
JUST WITHOUT
THE HURTFUL ATTITUDE.
232
00:10:06,907 --> 00:10:09,077
AM I WASTING
MY TIME HERE?
233
00:10:09,079 --> 00:10:10,909
DO YOU WANT THIS?!
I DON'T THINK YOU
WANT THIS!
234
00:10:10,911 --> 00:10:12,611
I DON'T WANT THIS.
235
00:10:13,744 --> 00:10:15,224
SIT DOWN AND OPEN
THAT WORKBOOK.
236
00:10:15,215 --> 00:10:17,045
THAT'S IT.
WE'RE DONE.
YOU'RE FIRED.
237
00:10:17,047 --> 00:10:18,387
- FIRED?
- YUP.
238
00:10:18,388 --> 00:10:20,218
TERMINATED,
DISMISSED,
239
00:10:20,220 --> 00:10:21,650
SHOWN THE DOOR.
240
00:10:21,652 --> 00:10:23,122
OOH, WE'RE WORKING
WITH SYNONYMS.
241
00:10:24,394 --> 00:10:26,704
YES, WE ARE.
NOW GET OUT!
242
00:10:26,697 --> 00:10:27,997
EXIT!
243
00:10:27,998 --> 00:10:29,658
SCRAM!
244
00:10:35,836 --> 00:10:39,336
MAN,
WATCHING INFOMERCIALS.
245
00:10:39,339 --> 00:10:42,709
I'VE GOT A KERNEL
STUCK IN MY TOOTH.
246
00:10:42,713 --> 00:10:44,823
DOESN'T GET
ANY BETTER THAN THIS.
247
00:10:44,815 --> 00:10:46,815
SHH SHH SHH SHH.
248
00:10:47,878 --> 00:10:49,718
FOOTSTEPS!
SHUT IT DOWN!
249
00:10:59,690 --> 00:11:02,660
OH, SURE.
IN HERE YOU DON'T SNORE.
250
00:11:02,662 --> 00:11:04,972
( snoring )
251
00:11:06,366 --> 00:11:07,866
THERE IT IS.
252
00:11:07,868 --> 00:11:09,698
3:10 TO YUMA.
253
00:11:15,706 --> 00:11:17,706
( air horn blows )
254
00:11:19,880 --> 00:11:21,210
RISE AND SHINE.
255
00:11:23,683 --> 00:11:25,293
VICTOR, I FIRED YOU.
256
00:11:25,285 --> 00:11:26,285
WRONG.
257
00:11:26,286 --> 00:11:27,956
THE CORRECT ANSWER
IS "C"--
258
00:11:27,958 --> 00:11:29,788
I CAN'T BE FIRED.
259
00:11:29,790 --> 00:11:31,820
( air horn blows )
260
00:11:46,036 --> 00:11:47,476
VICTOR.
261
00:11:47,477 --> 00:11:49,177
IT'S 6:00 IN THE MORNING.
262
00:11:49,179 --> 00:11:51,309
WHAT IN THE WORLD
ARE YOU DOING HERE?
263
00:11:51,311 --> 00:11:53,381
WHERE ELSE WOULD I BE?
264
00:11:53,383 --> 00:11:57,223
GEE, I DON'T KNOW.
MAYBE AT HOME... ASLEEP,
265
00:11:57,217 --> 00:11:59,917
CLUTCHING SOME KIND OF
A SCI-FI ACTION FIGURE.
266
00:12:02,022 --> 00:12:04,322
TEDDY, YOU AGREED TO DO
WHATEVER I SAID.
267
00:12:04,324 --> 00:12:05,864
NO MATTER WHAT.
268
00:12:05,856 --> 00:12:07,296
WELCOME TO
"NO MATTER WHAT"!
269
00:12:09,129 --> 00:12:10,399
ARE YOU CRAZY?
270
00:12:10,400 --> 00:12:12,060
( chuckles )
CRAZY ABOUT LEARNIN'.
271
00:12:12,062 --> 00:12:13,402
AND THAT'S THE ONLY TIME
YOU'LL EVER HEAR ME
272
00:12:13,403 --> 00:12:14,403
DROP A "G."
273
00:12:16,066 --> 00:12:19,066
LISTEN CLOSELY BECAUSE
I'M ABOUT TO DROP A "G."
274
00:12:19,069 --> 00:12:20,309
"O" AWAY!
275
00:12:22,272 --> 00:12:23,342
THIS IS GOOD.
THIS IS GOOD.
276
00:12:23,343 --> 00:12:24,823
YOU'RE FRUSTRATED,
277
00:12:24,815 --> 00:12:26,275
YOU'RE ANGRY,
YOU'RE RIGHT ON SCHEDULE.
278
00:12:27,878 --> 00:12:29,218
EXCUSE ME?
279
00:12:29,219 --> 00:12:31,349
THIS HAPPENS WHENEVER
I'M WORKING WITH SOMEONE.
280
00:12:31,351 --> 00:12:33,481
THERE ALWAYS COMES A MOMENT
WHEN THEY WANT TO QUIT.
281
00:12:33,483 --> 00:12:37,033
ACTUALLY, YOUR BREAKING POINT
CAME LATER THAN USUAL.
282
00:12:37,027 --> 00:12:39,127
WHICH MEANS THAT YOU'RE ONE
OF MY MOST PROMISING STUDENTS.
283
00:12:41,231 --> 00:12:42,761
REALLY?
284
00:12:44,534 --> 00:12:46,074
OH, YES.
285
00:12:46,066 --> 00:12:48,066
I AM VERY IMPRESSED.
286
00:12:48,068 --> 00:12:49,138
YOU'RE A STAR, TEDDY.
287
00:12:49,139 --> 00:12:50,999
OH. ( laughs )
288
00:12:51,001 --> 00:12:53,001
I DON'T KNOW ABOUT STAR.
289
00:12:54,975 --> 00:12:57,105
IS MY STAR READY TO GET
TO WORK NOW?
290
00:12:57,107 --> 00:12:59,107
( bashfully )
WOULD YOU STOP THAT?
291
00:13:02,182 --> 00:13:03,512
I'M GONNA GET DRESSED.
I'LL BE RIGHT BACK.
292
00:13:06,056 --> 00:13:08,116
STAR.
( chuckles )
293
00:13:16,827 --> 00:13:17,827
HEY, MOM.
294
00:13:17,828 --> 00:13:18,998
HI.
295
00:13:24,104 --> 00:13:26,044
HELP ME OUT HERE.
296
00:13:27,177 --> 00:13:29,137
I'M MEZRAB.
297
00:13:31,811 --> 00:13:33,281
HELP ME OUT
A LITTLE MORE.
298
00:13:35,145 --> 00:13:37,315
I'M MEZRAB MAGICPENNY,
299
00:13:37,317 --> 00:13:39,847
THE LEGENDARY
HALF-WIZARD, HALF-UNICORN,
300
00:13:39,850 --> 00:13:42,490
WHO JUNIE MEETS
IN THE DARK FOREST.
301
00:13:42,492 --> 00:13:45,302
I THOUGHT THIS WOULD HELP
MAKE THE STORY COME ALIVE.
302
00:13:45,295 --> 00:13:46,555
FOR CHARLIE?
303
00:13:46,556 --> 00:13:49,256
YEAH, OKAY. YEAH.
304
00:13:50,830 --> 00:13:52,000
HONEY, I'M SORRY.
305
00:13:52,002 --> 00:13:53,132
CHARLIE'S
STILL SLEEPING.
306
00:13:53,133 --> 00:13:54,463
WELL, SHOULD I
WAKE HER UP?
307
00:13:54,464 --> 00:13:56,144
YEAH, YOU KNOW WHAT?
308
00:13:56,136 --> 00:13:58,136
LET'S WAKE UP TOBY TOO.
MAKE IT A PARTY.
309
00:13:58,138 --> 00:14:00,268
- OKAY!
- NO! GET BACK IN HERE!
310
00:14:01,471 --> 00:14:03,011
I'M KIDDING.
311
00:14:03,013 --> 00:14:04,143
YOU CAN'T READ TO CHARLIE
THIS MORNING.
312
00:14:04,144 --> 00:14:05,154
SHE'S GOT PRESCHOOL.
313
00:14:05,145 --> 00:14:07,015
AW, MAN.
314
00:14:08,248 --> 00:14:10,248
WELL, CAN I AT LEAST
HAVE SOME BREAKFAST?
315
00:14:10,250 --> 00:14:11,580
SURE.
316
00:14:11,581 --> 00:14:13,151
HAVE A BAGEL.
317
00:14:17,287 --> 00:14:19,327
WHAT, NO CREAM CHEESE?
318
00:14:24,995 --> 00:14:26,965
( chanting )
IF YOU DON'T KNOW
THEN LEAVE IT BLANK.
319
00:14:26,967 --> 00:14:28,967
WHEN YOU SCORE HIGH
THERE'S ME TO THANK!
320
00:14:30,170 --> 00:14:32,340
( chanting )
GEOMETRY IS
REALLY A BREEZE.
321
00:14:32,342 --> 00:14:35,052
RIGHT TRIANGLES
ARE 90 DEGREES.
322
00:14:35,045 --> 00:14:37,105
SOUND OFF! ONE, TWO!
323
00:14:37,107 --> 00:14:40,107
PI IS 3.14.
324
00:14:40,110 --> 00:14:42,050
COME ON NOW,
LET'S HEAR THAT VOICE.
325
00:14:42,052 --> 00:14:44,112
NEVER GUESS
ON MULTIPLE CHOICE.
326
00:14:44,114 --> 00:14:45,964
GO AHEAD
AND DO ONE MORE!
327
00:14:45,956 --> 00:14:47,956
EIGHT SQUARED IS 64!
328
00:14:50,020 --> 00:14:52,020
NEXT TIME WE SHOULD
TAKE A CAR.
329
00:14:52,022 --> 00:14:54,022
( panting )
I'M NOT USED TO
RUNNING THIS FAR.
330
00:14:57,297 --> 00:14:59,297
( rock music playing )
331
00:15:31,531 --> 00:15:32,531
( music stops )
332
00:15:41,241 --> 00:15:42,541
WHAT TIME IS IT?
333
00:15:42,542 --> 00:15:44,542
IT'S 1:00
IN THE MORNING.
334
00:15:44,544 --> 00:15:47,084
ALSO KNOWN
AS STORYTIME.
335
00:15:47,077 --> 00:15:48,377
OKAY, WHERE WERE WE?
336
00:15:48,378 --> 00:15:49,418
OH, YEAH.
337
00:15:49,419 --> 00:15:51,579
JUNIE WAS AT
THE CAVE OF SHADOWS.
338
00:15:51,581 --> 00:15:54,251
"AS JUNIE ENTERED
THE CAVE, SHE WAS SCARED,
339
00:15:54,254 --> 00:15:56,134
BUT ALSO VERY CURIOUS.
340
00:15:56,126 --> 00:15:58,126
SHE CREPT AHEAD
CAUTIOUSLY."
341
00:15:58,128 --> 00:15:59,258
I'M TIRED.
342
00:15:59,259 --> 00:16:01,259
YEAH, WELL, SO WAS JUNIE.
BUT SHE KEEPS GOING.
343
00:16:03,433 --> 00:16:06,273
ALL-NIGHT BOWLING--
DAD, YOU'RE AN ANIMAL!
344
00:16:06,266 --> 00:16:08,136
- PJ?!
- DAD?
345
00:16:08,138 --> 00:16:09,138
WHERE ARE YOU GOING?
346
00:16:09,139 --> 00:16:10,599
UH, NOWHERE.
347
00:16:10,600 --> 00:16:11,970
WHY IS CHARLIE UP?
348
00:16:11,971 --> 00:16:13,201
NO REASON.
349
00:16:13,203 --> 00:16:14,203
WHY IS GABE UP?
350
00:16:14,204 --> 00:16:16,384
NO REASON.
351
00:16:16,376 --> 00:16:17,346
WHAT'S WITH THE BOOK?
352
00:16:17,347 --> 00:16:19,447
WHAT'S WITH
THE BOWLING BALL?
353
00:16:21,381 --> 00:16:23,051
NONE OF THIS
EVER HAPPENED.
354
00:16:23,053 --> 00:16:24,313
NONE OF WHAT
EVER HAPPENED?
355
00:16:24,314 --> 00:16:26,024
LET'S GO, DAD.
356
00:16:26,016 --> 00:16:27,316
HE CAN KEEP THIS UP
ALL NIGHT.
357
00:16:27,317 --> 00:16:28,317
KEEP WHAT UP ALL NIGHT?
358
00:16:33,463 --> 00:16:36,433
"SUDDENLY TWO BRIGHT
GREEN EYES OPENED WIDE
359
00:16:36,426 --> 00:16:38,296
AND LIT UP
THE ROCKY DEN AND JUNIE
360
00:16:38,298 --> 00:16:42,428
STOOD FACE-TO-FACE WITH
A GIANT FIRE-BREATHING DRAGON!
361
00:16:42,432 --> 00:16:44,772
HE OPENED HIS MOUTH
AND ROARED--"
362
00:16:44,774 --> 00:16:45,784
PJ?!
363
00:16:47,307 --> 00:16:48,377
MOM!
364
00:16:48,378 --> 00:16:50,408
WHAT ARE YOU DOING?
365
00:16:50,410 --> 00:16:52,240
WHAT ARE YOU DOING?
366
00:16:54,184 --> 00:16:56,354
THAT ONLY WORKS
WITH YOUR DAD.
367
00:16:56,346 --> 00:16:57,786
WHAT'S GOING ON HERE?
368
00:16:57,787 --> 00:16:59,487
IT WAS CHARLIE'S IDEA.
369
00:16:59,489 --> 00:17:01,149
SHE WANTED TO FINISH
THE BOOK.
370
00:17:01,151 --> 00:17:03,321
OH, OKAY.
SO CHARLIE GOT UP
371
00:17:03,323 --> 00:17:04,453
IN THE MIDDLE
OF THE NIGHT,
372
00:17:04,454 --> 00:17:06,164
CALLED YOU
AT YOUR APARTMENT
373
00:17:06,156 --> 00:17:08,696
AND TOLD YOU TO COME OVER
FOR A BOOK SESH?
374
00:17:08,698 --> 00:17:10,698
SHE'S A SCAMP.
375
00:17:12,802 --> 00:17:14,102
COME ON, CHARLIE.
376
00:17:17,507 --> 00:17:18,737
GOOD NIGHT, PJ.
377
00:17:18,738 --> 00:17:20,608
WELL, WHAT'S SHE DOING
TOMORROW?
378
00:17:20,610 --> 00:17:21,610
PRESCHOOL.
379
00:17:21,611 --> 00:17:23,311
AGAIN?
380
00:17:23,313 --> 00:17:25,323
THAT'S EVERY DAY NOW?
381
00:17:33,153 --> 00:17:34,153
MORNING, GABE.
382
00:17:34,154 --> 00:17:35,464
I WANT HIM OUT.
383
00:17:35,455 --> 00:17:37,455
- WHO?
- DAD.
384
00:17:37,457 --> 00:17:40,457
I HAVEN'T SLEPT A WINK
IN 48 HOURS.
385
00:17:40,460 --> 00:17:44,130
EXCEPT A QUICK LITTLE NAP
DURING MATH CLASS.
386
00:17:44,134 --> 00:17:45,644
IS THIS ABOUT
HIS SNORING?
387
00:17:45,635 --> 00:17:47,165
NO!
388
00:17:47,167 --> 00:17:48,637
I GAVE HIM A TASTE
OF FREEDOM
389
00:17:48,638 --> 00:17:50,438
AND HE WENT CRAZY.
390
00:17:50,440 --> 00:17:51,570
YEAH.
391
00:17:51,571 --> 00:17:53,301
DAD DOES BETTER
WITH RULES.
392
00:17:53,303 --> 00:17:55,613
LOTS AND LOTS OF RULES.
393
00:17:57,147 --> 00:17:58,477
I CAN'T DO IT ANYMORE.
394
00:17:58,478 --> 00:18:00,108
YOU GOTTA TAKE HIM BACK.
TONIGHT.
395
00:18:00,110 --> 00:18:01,750
CALM DOWN, OKAY?
396
00:18:01,751 --> 00:18:04,451
THIS IS YOUR DAD
WE'RE TALKING ABOUT.
397
00:18:04,454 --> 00:18:06,424
LET'S SHOW
A LITTLE RESPECT.
398
00:18:06,416 --> 00:18:07,816
WE'LL FLIP A COIN.
399
00:18:10,190 --> 00:18:11,360
HEADS, YOU'RE STUCK
WITH HIM;
400
00:18:11,361 --> 00:18:14,091
- TAILS, HE'S MY PROBLEM.
- DEAL.
401
00:18:14,093 --> 00:18:16,373
PLEASE BE TAILS.
PLEASE BE TAILS.
PLEASE BE TAILS.
402
00:18:16,366 --> 00:18:18,526
HEY.
WHATCHA DOIN'?
403
00:18:18,528 --> 00:18:20,368
FIGHTING OVER YOU.
404
00:18:21,401 --> 00:18:22,731
SO WHO WON?
405
00:18:22,732 --> 00:18:24,572
( groans )
GABE!
406
00:18:24,574 --> 00:18:26,714
YES!
407
00:18:28,808 --> 00:18:30,178
WELCOME BACK.
408
00:18:35,715 --> 00:18:37,545
( doorbell rings )
409
00:18:40,119 --> 00:18:41,449
- HI.
- SO?
410
00:18:41,451 --> 00:18:42,521
HOW'D THE TEST GO?
411
00:18:42,522 --> 00:18:45,762
WELL... OF COURSE
I WON'T KNOW FOR A WHILE,
412
00:18:45,755 --> 00:18:48,295
BUT I THINK I DID
REALLY WELL.
413
00:18:48,298 --> 00:18:50,298
NOW, IN ACCORDANCE
WITH OUR AGREEMENT,
414
00:18:50,300 --> 00:18:51,860
YOU NEED TO ACCOMPANY ME
TO MY CHESS MATCH.
415
00:18:51,861 --> 00:18:55,441
RIGHT RIGHT,
THE "CHESS MATCH."
416
00:18:55,435 --> 00:18:57,635
TEDDY, IT'S JUST
A CHESS MATCH.
417
00:18:57,637 --> 00:18:59,637
SURE. OKAY.
418
00:18:59,639 --> 00:19:00,809
WELL, WHAT DO I
HAVE TO WEAR?
419
00:19:00,810 --> 00:19:03,810
A BIRD SUIT
OR A ROBOT OUTFIT?
420
00:19:05,315 --> 00:19:07,215
ACTUALLY, WHAT YOU
HAVE ON NOW IS PERFECT.
421
00:19:14,624 --> 00:19:16,234
COME ON, ANDREW.
IT'S YOUR MOVE.
422
00:19:16,226 --> 00:19:17,856
IT IS?
423
00:19:17,857 --> 00:19:18,857
OH, RIGHT.
424
00:19:27,467 --> 00:19:28,467
CHECKMATE.
425
00:19:29,499 --> 00:19:30,499
WHAT?
426
00:19:31,541 --> 00:19:32,541
NO! IT CAN'T BE!
427
00:19:33,673 --> 00:19:35,513
CURSE YOU, DELESEUR!
428
00:19:40,480 --> 00:19:43,550
WE'RE DONE HERE.
THANK YOU, TEDDY.
429
00:19:46,386 --> 00:19:48,686
NERD BAIT.
430
00:19:48,688 --> 00:19:50,818
NOT MY FINEST HOUR.
431
00:19:57,397 --> 00:20:00,397
Well, Charlie.
I got my S.A.T. results back
432
00:20:00,400 --> 00:20:03,400
and let's just say
I did pretty well.
433
00:20:03,403 --> 00:20:05,713
I'm trying not to be
supercilious.
434
00:20:07,677 --> 00:20:09,677
Did I use that right?
435
00:20:09,679 --> 00:20:11,339
Who cares? Test's over.
436
00:20:12,442 --> 00:20:13,582
Hey, check it out.
The sequel to
437
00:20:13,583 --> 00:20:15,623
"The Littlest Unicorn"
just came out.
438
00:20:15,615 --> 00:20:18,615
"Revenge of the
Littlest Unicorn."
439
00:20:18,618 --> 00:20:19,748
Have you seen Charlie?
440
00:20:19,749 --> 00:20:21,619
Uh, yeah.
And she told me
441
00:20:21,621 --> 00:20:23,591
to tell you that
she's not home.
442
00:20:24,824 --> 00:20:27,704
Man! Well, who am I
supposed to read this to?
443
00:20:29,599 --> 00:20:30,899
Hello, Toby!
444
00:20:31,901 --> 00:20:34,431
Okay, chapter one.
445
00:20:34,434 --> 00:20:36,244
"Junie had
an axe to grind..."
446
00:20:36,235 --> 00:20:37,565
Well.
447
00:20:37,567 --> 00:20:39,437
Sounds like there's
gonna be a beatdown
448
00:20:39,439 --> 00:20:41,439
in Butterflylandia.
449
00:20:41,441 --> 00:20:42,741
Better wish Junie some
450
00:20:42,742 --> 00:20:44,272
good luck, Charlie.
451
00:20:49,919 --> 00:20:52,479
CHARLIE, ARE YOU READY
TO GO TO THE PARK NOW?
452
00:20:52,482 --> 00:20:53,622
NO!
453
00:20:53,623 --> 00:20:55,293
( groans )
454
00:20:55,285 --> 00:20:57,625
PJ, THANKS TO THAT
STUPID BOOK YOU READ HER
455
00:20:57,627 --> 00:20:59,287
CHARLIE'S AFRAID
TO GO OUTSIDE.
456
00:20:59,289 --> 00:21:01,459
SHE THINKS THERE'S
A DRAGON OUT THERE.
457
00:21:01,461 --> 00:21:02,891
THERE IS.
458
00:21:04,864 --> 00:21:06,704
WILL YOU PLEASE EXPLAIN
TO YOUR SISTER
459
00:21:06,696 --> 00:21:08,396
THE DIFFERENCE BETWEEN
WHAT'S REAL AND WHAT'S NOT?
460
00:21:08,398 --> 00:21:10,768
OKAY, CHARLIE.
IT'S VERY SIMPLE.
461
00:21:10,770 --> 00:21:13,700
UNICORNS ARE REAL,
DRAGONS ARE NOT.
462
00:21:15,675 --> 00:21:16,945
OKAY. ARE YOU READY
TO GO NOW?
463
00:21:16,946 --> 00:21:18,376
NO.
464
00:21:18,378 --> 00:21:19,708
OKAY, MOM.
I GOT THIS.
465
00:21:19,709 --> 00:21:21,549
CHARLIE, THERE IS
NO DRAGON OUT THERE.
466
00:21:21,551 --> 00:21:22,881
LOOK, I'LL SHOW YOU.
467
00:21:25,385 --> 00:21:27,415
( roaring )
468
00:21:33,893 --> 00:21:34,893
( coughs )
469
00:21:36,626 --> 00:21:38,026
TOLD YOU.
31013
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