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1
00:00:07,330 --> 00:00:10,270
HEY, DAD, YOU GONNA EAT
YOUR LAST PIECE OF BACON?
2
00:00:10,270 --> 00:00:12,270
( all laughing )
3
00:00:12,270 --> 00:00:13,570
NICE.
4
00:00:13,570 --> 00:00:16,400
OH, DAD, BY THE WAY
I'M HAVING CAREER
DAY AT MY SCHOOL,
5
00:00:16,400 --> 00:00:18,200
AND I WAS WONDERING
IF YOU COULD COME.
6
00:00:18,200 --> 00:00:21,270
REALLY?
YOU WANT ME TO COME IN
AND TALK ABOUT MY JOB?
7
00:00:21,270 --> 00:00:23,500
- THAT'S FANTASTIC.
- EASY, BIG GUY.
8
00:00:23,500 --> 00:00:25,670
YOU'RE A TIME FILLER.
NOTHING MORE, NOTHING LESS.
9
00:00:28,130 --> 00:00:31,200
THAT'S A LITTLE LESS
FANTASTIC.
10
00:00:31,200 --> 00:00:33,770
HEY, HOW COME I NEVER
CAME IN AND SPOKE TO
ONE OF YOUR CLASSES?
11
00:00:33,770 --> 00:00:37,030
WE DIDN'T HAVE CAREER DAY
BACK THEN.
12
00:00:37,030 --> 00:00:39,570
IT'S A WHOLE NEW IDEA.
13
00:00:41,000 --> 00:00:43,330
REALLY? THEY HAD CAREER DAY
WHEN I WAS A KID.
14
00:00:43,330 --> 00:00:46,130
MUST HAVE SKIPPED
A GENERATION.
15
00:00:46,130 --> 00:00:48,430
HEY, GABE.
16
00:00:48,430 --> 00:00:51,270
WHY AREN'T YOU ASKING ME
TO CAREER DAY THIS YEAR?
17
00:00:51,270 --> 00:00:53,330
BECAUSE OF WHAT
HAPPENED LAST YEAR.
18
00:00:53,330 --> 00:00:56,270
WE SEE A LOT OF
INTERESTING THINGS
IN THE EMERGENCY ROOM.
19
00:00:56,270 --> 00:00:59,070
THIS IS WHAT CAN HAPPEN
WHEN YOU DON'T FOLLOW
THE DIRECTIONS
20
00:00:59,070 --> 00:01:00,570
ON THE CHAINSAW.
21
00:01:00,570 --> 00:01:04,270
- ( screaming )
- KIDS, KIDS, HOLD YOUR
REACTIONS TILL THE END.
22
00:01:04,270 --> 00:01:05,700
WE'VE GOT
A LOT OF PICTURES HERE.
23
00:01:08,230 --> 00:01:10,530
SO NOW SEVERED LIMBS
ARE OFF-LIMITS TO 11-YEAR-OLDS?
24
00:01:10,530 --> 00:01:12,200
WHAT?
25
00:01:13,500 --> 00:01:16,630
( rock music playing )
26
00:01:16,630 --> 00:01:18,330
♪ TODAY'S ALL BURNT TOAST ♪
27
00:01:18,330 --> 00:01:20,030
♪ RUNNING LATE
AND DAD JOKES ♪
28
00:01:20,030 --> 00:01:22,770
♪ "HAS ANYBODY
SEEN MY LEFT SHOE?" ♪
29
00:01:22,770 --> 00:01:24,670
♪ I CLOSE MY EYES,
TAKE A BITE ♪
30
00:01:24,670 --> 00:01:26,270
♪ GRAB A RIDE,
LAUGH OUT LOUD ♪
31
00:01:26,270 --> 00:01:28,270
♪ THERE IT IS
UP ON THE ROOF ♪
32
00:01:29,670 --> 00:01:32,770
♪ I'VE BEEN THERE,
I SURVIVED ♪
33
00:01:32,770 --> 00:01:36,130
♪ SO JUST TAKE
MY ADVICE ♪
34
00:01:36,130 --> 00:01:39,600
♪ HANG IN THERE, BABY,
THINGS ARE CRAZY ♪
35
00:01:39,600 --> 00:01:42,500
♪ BUT I KNOW
YOUR FUTURE'S BRIGHT ♪
36
00:01:42,500 --> 00:01:44,330
♪ HANG IN THERE, BABY ♪
37
00:01:44,330 --> 00:01:46,130
♪ THERE'S NO MAYBE ♪
38
00:01:46,130 --> 00:01:49,070
♪ EVERYTHING
TURNS OUT ALL RIGHT ♪
39
00:01:49,070 --> 00:01:51,300
♪ SURE LIFE
IS UP AND DOWN ♪
40
00:01:51,300 --> 00:01:55,130
♪ BUT TRUST ME,
IT COMES BACK AROUND ♪
41
00:01:55,130 --> 00:01:59,070
♪ YOU'RE GONNA LOVE
WHO YOU TURN OUT TO BE ♪
42
00:02:00,070 --> 00:02:03,000
♪ HANG IN THERE, BABY. ♪
43
00:02:10,700 --> 00:02:13,430
"'AND CHEESY,'
THE SAD LITTLE PIZZA SAID,
44
00:02:13,430 --> 00:02:16,000
'I JUST FEEL SO PLAIN.'
45
00:02:16,000 --> 00:02:19,100
AND PEPE, HIS FRIEND
THE PEPPERONI PIZZA SAID,
46
00:02:19,100 --> 00:02:22,270
'BUT, CHEESY,
THAT'S WHY KIDS LOVE YOU.'
47
00:02:22,270 --> 00:02:25,070
AND CHEESY FELT
ALL BETTER.
48
00:02:25,070 --> 00:02:27,030
THE END."
49
00:02:29,200 --> 00:02:30,300
MOM.
50
00:02:32,570 --> 00:02:35,670
CANDACE, THANK YOU
WE REALLY ENJOYED IT..
51
00:02:35,670 --> 00:02:38,000
I HEARD YOU SNORING.
52
00:02:38,000 --> 00:02:40,200
THE IMPORTANT THING
RIGHT, CHARLIE?D IT.
53
00:02:40,200 --> 00:02:42,100
NO, MOMMY.
54
00:02:42,100 --> 00:02:45,170
SHE'S RIGHT.
IT WAS NOT A GOOD BOOK.
55
00:02:45,170 --> 00:02:47,570
I COULD WRITE A BETTER
STORY THAN THAT.
56
00:02:47,570 --> 00:02:50,330
I WISH YOU WOULD.
PUBLISHING,HILDREN'S
57
00:02:50,330 --> 00:02:54,100
AND I AM ALWAYS
FOR NEW TALENT.
58
00:02:54,100 --> 00:02:57,370
ANYWAY, WE'LL SEE
YOU GUYS NEXT WEEK.
59
00:02:57,370 --> 00:02:59,730
- BYE, CANDACE.
- SEE YA.
60
00:02:59,730 --> 00:03:02,230
- THAT GIVES ME AN IDEA.
- ME TOO.
61
00:03:02,230 --> 00:03:04,530
Both:
A CHILDREN'S BOOK!
62
00:03:04,530 --> 00:03:05,670
WHAT DO YOU KNOW
ABOUT WRITING?
63
00:03:05,670 --> 00:03:07,430
WHAT DO YOU KNOW
ABOUT CHILDREN?
64
00:03:07,430 --> 00:03:10,130
MAYBE WE COULD WRITE
A BOOK TOGETHER.
65
00:03:10,130 --> 00:03:13,530
AND THEN WE COULD READ IT
AT NEXT WEEK'S STORY TIME.
66
00:03:13,530 --> 00:03:16,730
AND THE KIDS WILL GO CRAZY.
CANDACE WILL PUBLISH IT,
67
00:03:16,730 --> 00:03:19,130
AND I'LL BE ON
"GOOD MORNING DENVER."
68
00:03:19,130 --> 00:03:22,100
RIGHT NOW LET'S JUST FOCUS
ON WRITING A GOOD STORY
FOR THE KIDS.
69
00:03:22,100 --> 00:03:25,770
YOU'RE RIGHT.
YOU'RE RIGHT.
IT'S ALL ABOUT THE KIDS.
70
00:03:47,270 --> 00:03:49,770
OH, GREAT.
I GUESS DINNER'S HERE.
71
00:03:49,770 --> 00:03:53,200
AND A HAPPY KWIKKI CHIKKI
HELLO TO YOU.
72
00:03:53,200 --> 00:03:56,170
- I HEARD THAT, SCOTT.
- I'M SURE THAT YOU HEARD,
BUT WHEN I ASK
73
00:03:56,170 --> 00:03:59,070
FOR A HOME-COOKED MEAL,
YOU SUDDENLY GO DEAF.
74
00:03:59,070 --> 00:04:01,430
I'M NOT A HOUSEWIFE.
I WORK TOO.
75
00:04:01,430 --> 00:04:02,730
DO YOU WANT ME
TO COME BACK LATER?
76
00:04:02,730 --> 00:04:04,370
NO, THEN THE FOOD
WILL BE COLD.
77
00:04:04,370 --> 00:04:06,630
DON'T WORRY.
IT'S ALREADY COLD.
78
00:04:06,630 --> 00:04:09,070
LET'S ASK THIS GUY.
WHAT DO YOU THINK?
79
00:04:09,070 --> 00:04:11,030
COME ON,
WE WANT YOUR OPINION.
80
00:04:11,030 --> 00:04:13,000
WHO IS RESPONSIBLE
FOR DINNER?
81
00:04:13,000 --> 00:04:16,200
THAT IS A TOUGH QUESTION.
I'VE SEEN MY PARENTS HAVE
THE VERY SAME ARGUMENT
82
00:04:16,200 --> 00:04:17,630
'CAUSE THEY BOTH
HAVE JOBS TOO.
83
00:04:17,630 --> 00:04:20,270
- HOW DO THEY WORK IT OUT?
- VERY LOUDLY.
84
00:04:20,270 --> 00:04:23,100
BUT AT LEAST
THEY'RE COMMUNICATING,
85
00:04:23,100 --> 00:04:25,300
WHICH IS MAYBE WHAT
YOU GUYS NEED TO DO.
86
00:04:25,300 --> 00:04:27,230
BUT WE ARE COMMUNICATING.
87
00:04:27,230 --> 00:04:29,770
ARE YOU?
ARE YOU REALLY?
88
00:04:33,200 --> 00:04:35,270
NO, WE'RE NOT.
89
00:04:35,270 --> 00:04:37,130
MAYBE IT'S TIME TO START.
90
00:04:37,130 --> 00:04:41,300
I JUST WANT THINGS TO GO
BACK TO THE WAY THEY WERE
WHEN WE FIRST GOT MARRIED.
91
00:04:41,300 --> 00:04:44,230
I WANT THAT TOO.
I'M SORRY, HONEY.
92
00:04:44,230 --> 00:04:46,670
I'M SORRY TOO.
93
00:04:46,670 --> 00:04:49,730
WELL, I GUESS THERE'S ONLY
ONE THING LEFT TO SAY.
94
00:04:49,730 --> 00:04:51,600
THAT'LL BE $14.95.
95
00:05:01,600 --> 00:05:04,200
OKAY, TELL ME WHAT
YOU THINK OF THIS.
96
00:05:04,200 --> 00:05:08,230
"ACTRESS, SINGER, DANCER,
COMEDIAN, ENTERTAINER, NURSE,
97
00:05:08,230 --> 00:05:11,530
WIFE, MOTHER OF FOUR,
AMY DUNCAN NOW ADDS AUTHOR
98
00:05:11,530 --> 00:05:13,600
TO HER LONG LIST
OF CREDITS."
99
00:05:15,130 --> 00:05:16,600
WHAT IS THAT?
100
00:05:16,600 --> 00:05:18,200
IT'S MY BIO
FOR THE BOOK JACKET.
101
00:05:19,400 --> 00:05:21,200
TOO LONG?
102
00:05:21,200 --> 00:05:24,370
'CAUSE I COULD LOSE
"WIFE AND MOTHER OF FOUR."
103
00:05:26,430 --> 00:05:28,300
HEY, I HAVE AN IDEA.
104
00:05:28,300 --> 00:05:30,670
INSTEAD OF A BOOK JACKET,
LET'S WRITE A BOOK.
105
00:05:30,670 --> 00:05:34,400
OKAY, SEEMS KIND OF
BACKWARDS TO ME,
BUT OKAY, SURE.
106
00:05:36,200 --> 00:05:38,270
LET'S JUST BRAINSTORM
AND SEE WHAT WE
COME UP WITH.
107
00:05:38,270 --> 00:05:41,030
EXCELLENT IDEA.
108
00:05:41,030 --> 00:05:43,230
BRAINSTORMING.
109
00:05:46,270 --> 00:05:49,030
STORMY BRAIN.
110
00:05:50,400 --> 00:05:54,200
THINKING, THOUGHTS,
IDEAS, WORDS--
111
00:05:54,200 --> 00:05:57,170
MOM, BRAINSTORMS
ARE USUALLY QUIET.
112
00:05:59,200 --> 00:06:00,500
SORRY.
113
00:06:00,500 --> 00:06:03,200
AND REMEMBER, AN IDEA
CAN COME FROM ANYWHERE.
114
00:06:05,500 --> 00:06:08,430
- GOT IT!
- WHAT?
115
00:06:08,430 --> 00:06:10,630
TRASHY.
116
00:06:12,200 --> 00:06:13,500
TRASHY?
117
00:06:13,500 --> 00:06:17,170
TRASHY THE TRASH CAN.
118
00:06:17,170 --> 00:06:21,130
I WAS STARING
AT THE TRASH CAN
AND IT JUST CAME TO ME.
119
00:06:21,130 --> 00:06:24,730
OKAY, TRASHY.
120
00:06:24,730 --> 00:06:26,730
SO WHAT'S HIS STORY?
121
00:06:26,730 --> 00:06:29,570
TEDDY, I CAN'T
DO ALL THE WORK.
I CAME UP WITH TRASHY.
122
00:06:29,570 --> 00:06:32,030
YEAH, BUT WHAT'S HE TRYING
TO TEACH THE KIDS?
123
00:06:32,030 --> 00:06:34,400
OH, OKAY.
124
00:06:34,400 --> 00:06:38,300
UM, WELL, WHEN TRASHY
125
00:06:38,300 --> 00:06:40,670
SEES SOMEONE LITTER,
126
00:06:40,670 --> 00:06:43,570
HE SAYS,
"ENH-ENH-ENH-ENH."
127
00:06:45,300 --> 00:06:48,630
I DO THAT REALLY WELL.
I SHOULD DO HIS VOICE
FOR THE MOVIE.
128
00:06:50,730 --> 00:06:53,030
HEY, MOM, LET'S THINK
OF SOME OTHER IDEAS.
129
00:06:53,030 --> 00:06:54,330
REALLY?
130
00:06:54,330 --> 00:06:57,170
'CAUSE I'M LOVING ME
SOME TRASHY.
131
00:06:57,170 --> 00:07:00,570
OKAY OKAY, WELL, MAYBE
WE SHOULD WORK SEPARATELY,
132
00:07:00,570 --> 00:07:04,530
THEN GET TOGETHER TOMORROW
WITH SOME NEW IDEAS
133
00:07:04,530 --> 00:07:07,200
THAT AREN'T BASED OFF
OF THE FIRST THING
YOU LOOKED AT.
134
00:07:09,200 --> 00:07:10,700
- FINE.
- GOOD.
135
00:07:10,700 --> 00:07:12,700
- WHATEVER.
- GREAT.
136
00:07:15,300 --> 00:07:17,300
ENH-ENH-ENH.
137
00:07:19,200 --> 00:07:21,200
I CAN SEE IT
ON A T-SHIRT.
138
00:07:26,670 --> 00:07:28,700
OKAY, DAD, CAREER DAY
IS TOMORROW.
139
00:07:28,700 --> 00:07:30,370
WHAT'S YOUR PLAN?
140
00:07:30,370 --> 00:07:32,070
- MY PLAN?
- YEAH.
141
00:07:32,070 --> 00:07:34,170
TO WING IT.
142
00:07:34,170 --> 00:07:38,170
DAD, THIS ISN'T A TOAST
TO MOM ON YOUR ANNIVERSARY.
143
00:07:38,170 --> 00:07:42,030
- THIS IS IMPORTANT.
- ( stammers )
144
00:07:42,030 --> 00:07:44,570
NOW YOU CAN'T
JUST GET UP THERE
AND TALK ABOUT YOUR JOB.
145
00:07:44,570 --> 00:07:46,270
YOU GOTTA PUT ON A SHOW.
146
00:07:46,270 --> 00:07:49,500
THIS IS ALL ABOUT
THE SIZZLE, NOT THE STEAK.
147
00:07:49,500 --> 00:07:52,400
I GET IT.
148
00:07:52,400 --> 00:07:55,070
YOU WANT ME TO
BRING IN A COUPLE OF
CRITTERS THAT I CAUGHT,
149
00:07:55,070 --> 00:07:56,700
LIKE A RAT OR A POSSUM.
150
00:07:56,700 --> 00:07:59,670
IS THERE ANY CHANCE
YOU COULD CATCH
SOMETHING EXCITING,
151
00:07:59,670 --> 00:08:03,230
LIKE AN ALLIGATOR
OR A LION
152
00:08:03,230 --> 00:08:07,000
OR A POLAR BEAR?
YEAH.
153
00:08:10,270 --> 00:08:13,270
WELL, THOSE MIGHT BE TOUGH
SINCE CAREER DAY IS TOMORROW.
154
00:08:14,230 --> 00:08:17,230
AND WE LIVE IN DENVER.
155
00:08:17,230 --> 00:08:19,300
ALL RIGHT, DAD,
WHATEVER YOU DO,
156
00:08:19,300 --> 00:08:21,130
JUST DON'T EMBARRASS ME.
157
00:08:21,130 --> 00:08:23,570
THAT MEANS SHIRT TUCKED IN
AND YOUR MOST DEPENDABLE BELT.
158
00:08:25,030 --> 00:08:28,200
HEY, THAT'S NOT
GONNA HAPPEN AGAIN.
159
00:08:30,430 --> 00:08:33,770
MAN, YOU RUIN ONE
LITTLE LEAGUE GAME...
160
00:08:38,630 --> 00:08:40,570
HI AGAIN.
161
00:08:40,570 --> 00:08:42,770
OOH, SOMETHING
SMELLS GOOD.
162
00:08:42,770 --> 00:08:46,130
- I'M MAKING PORK CHOPS.
- THEN WHY'D YOU
ORDER CHICKEN?
163
00:08:46,130 --> 00:08:49,700
ACTUALLY, WE WERE
HOPING YOU COULD HELP US
WITH ANOTHER PROBLEM.
164
00:08:49,700 --> 00:08:53,530
OH, WELL,
COME ON OUT.
165
00:08:53,530 --> 00:08:55,570
HAVE A SEAT,
MAKE YOURSELVES AT HOME.
166
00:08:57,270 --> 00:08:59,000
TALK TO ME.
167
00:08:59,000 --> 00:09:02,400
THE THING IS CHRISTINE'S
MOTHER WANTS TO COME
AND STAY WITH US
168
00:09:02,400 --> 00:09:05,300
FOR TWO WEEKS.
169
00:09:05,300 --> 00:09:07,500
I WANTED TO ASK HER
TO COME FOR LESS TIME,
170
00:09:07,500 --> 00:09:09,370
BUT--
171
00:09:09,370 --> 00:09:10,670
BUT WHAT?
172
00:09:12,130 --> 00:09:14,700
COME ON,
TELL THE CHICKEN GUY.
173
00:09:14,700 --> 00:09:18,670
- BUT I'M AFRAID OF HER.
THERE, I SAID IT.
- YEAH, BUT JUST BECAUSE--
174
00:09:18,670 --> 00:09:21,670
HOLD ON.
WE'RE WORKING
WITH CHRISTINE NOW.
175
00:09:21,670 --> 00:09:24,030
NOW, CHRISTINE,
HOW DID THAT MAKE YOU FEEL?
176
00:09:24,030 --> 00:09:27,130
WELL, IT MAKES
ME FEEL SAD,
AND I WANT SCOTT--
177
00:09:27,130 --> 00:09:30,570
- SCOTT, FEEDBACK.
- I FEEL THAT I'D LIKE
TO HELP CHRISTINE,
178
00:09:30,570 --> 00:09:33,300
- SO SHE WOULDN'T BE SO SAD.
- HOW CAN YOU HELP?
179
00:09:33,300 --> 00:09:36,200
- WELL--
BUT YOU ASKED ME.
- ( gibberish )
180
00:09:36,200 --> 00:09:39,270
DON'T QUESTION MY PROCESS.
181
00:09:39,270 --> 00:09:42,430
I'LL TELL YOU
HOW YOU CAN HELP.
DATE NIGHT.
182
00:09:42,430 --> 00:09:45,670
- DATE NIGHT.
- YEAH, MAKE SURE YOU GUYS
SCHEDULE SOME ALONE TIME
183
00:09:45,670 --> 00:09:47,170
WHILE YOUR MOTHER'S HERE.
184
00:09:47,170 --> 00:09:49,230
YOUR NEEDS
ARE IMPORTANT TOO.
185
00:09:49,230 --> 00:09:52,630
- DATE NIGHT.
THAT'S A GREAT IDEA.
- YEAH. THANK YOU SO MUCH.
186
00:09:52,630 --> 00:09:54,300
HEY, IT'S WHAT I DO.
187
00:09:54,300 --> 00:09:56,300
NOW LET'S TAKE A LOOK
AT THOSE PORK CHOPS.
188
00:10:02,700 --> 00:10:06,430
NOW BEFORE WE SHARE
OUR BOOK IDEAS,
189
00:10:06,430 --> 00:10:09,130
LET'S REMEMBER TO BE KIND.
190
00:10:09,130 --> 00:10:12,170
THAT'S RIGHT.
THERE ARE NO BAD IDEAS.
191
00:10:12,170 --> 00:10:14,230
I'LL GO FIRST.
192
00:10:15,700 --> 00:10:19,300
( clears throat )
BA-BAM!
193
00:10:19,300 --> 00:10:23,000
HEY, TRASHY'S BACK.
194
00:10:24,200 --> 00:10:25,770
( squeals )
I KNOW.
195
00:10:25,770 --> 00:10:29,200
TRY AS I MIGHT,
I COULD NOT TOP HIM.
196
00:10:30,630 --> 00:10:32,130
CAN I SHARE ONE
OF MY IDEAS NOW?
197
00:10:32,130 --> 00:10:34,470
Y-YEAH, OF COURSE.
GO AHEAD.
198
00:10:34,470 --> 00:10:37,070
OKAY.
( clears throat )
199
00:10:37,070 --> 00:10:39,330
SO MY IDEA IS A STORY
200
00:10:39,330 --> 00:10:43,300
ABOUT A LITTLE TIN CAN
AND HIS NAME IS...
201
00:10:43,300 --> 00:10:46,200
"TIM CAN."
202
00:10:47,670 --> 00:10:51,230
SO THE STORY BEGINS
WITH TIM ON THE SHELF
AT THE STORE.
203
00:10:51,230 --> 00:10:53,230
THEN HE GOES ON SOME
AMAZING ADVENTURES
204
00:10:53,230 --> 00:10:56,270
THAT TEACH KIDS
ALL ABOUT RECYCLING.
WHAT DO YOU THINK?
205
00:10:56,270 --> 00:10:59,030
I THINK I WAS WRONG.
206
00:10:59,030 --> 00:11:01,200
THERE ARE BAD IDEAS.
207
00:11:02,770 --> 00:11:04,430
HONEY, DON'T GET TOO DOWN
ON YOURSELF.
208
00:11:04,430 --> 00:11:06,270
I SET THE BAR PRETTY HIGH
WITH TRASHY.
209
00:11:06,270 --> 00:11:10,570
ARE YOU KIDDING?
YOU JUST-- YOU POINTED
AT A TRASH CAN
210
00:11:10,570 --> 00:11:13,400
AND GAVE IT A STUPID NAME.
I COULD DO THAT.
211
00:11:13,400 --> 00:11:17,230
LET'S WRITE A STORY
ABOUT TABLEY OR BLENDERY.
212
00:11:18,270 --> 00:11:20,300
BLENDERY?
OKAY, THAT'S JUST SILLY.
213
00:11:20,300 --> 00:11:23,000
WHAT WOULD A BLENDER SAY?
"CHOP CHOP CHOP"?
214
00:11:23,000 --> 00:11:24,500
EVEN I CAN'T MAKE THAT WORK.
215
00:11:26,530 --> 00:11:29,370
YOU KNOW WHAT
DOESN'T WORK? THIS.
216
00:11:29,370 --> 00:11:32,200
YOU KNOW WHAT YOU ARE--
JEALOUS.
217
00:11:32,200 --> 00:11:34,170
YES, I AM,
218
00:11:34,170 --> 00:11:36,170
OF PEOPLE THAT DON'T
HAVE TO WORK WITH YOU.
219
00:11:36,170 --> 00:11:38,230
THEN FINE.
DON'T WORK WITH ME.
220
00:11:38,230 --> 00:11:39,700
I'LL WRITE "TRASHY"
BY MYSELF.
221
00:11:39,700 --> 00:11:42,030
OKAY, WELL, I'LL WRITE
"TIM CAN" BY MYSELF,
222
00:11:42,030 --> 00:11:45,700
THEN NEXT WEEK AT STORY TIME,
WE'LL LET THE KIDS DECIDE
WHICH ONE'S BEST.
223
00:11:45,700 --> 00:11:59,000
OH YEAH YEAH.
THEY'LL DECIDE... TO FEED
YOUR BOOK TO TRASHY!
224
00:11:59,000 --> 00:12:01,770
WHEN MOMMY FINISHES
READING HER BOOK
AT STORY TIME,
225
00:12:01,770 --> 00:12:05,100
I WANT YOU TO JUMP UP
AND YELL, "YAY, TRASHY!"
226
00:12:05,100 --> 00:12:07,330
- CAN YOU DO THAT FOR ME?
- YAY, TRASHY!
227
00:12:07,330 --> 00:12:08,470
YAY!
228
00:12:08,470 --> 00:12:11,470
- WHAT ARE YOU DOING?
- NOTHING.
229
00:12:11,470 --> 00:12:14,300
YOU'RE COACHING CHARLIE.
MOM, THAT'S CHEATING.
230
00:12:14,300 --> 00:12:16,000
I AM HER MOTHER.
231
00:12:16,000 --> 00:12:18,700
IT IS MY JOB TO TELL HER
WHAT STUFF TO LIKE.
232
00:12:18,700 --> 00:12:21,300
OKAY, SO TRASHY'S
THE RIGHT STUFF?
233
00:12:21,300 --> 00:12:23,170
ENH-ENH-ENH.
234
00:12:23,170 --> 00:12:26,270
EVEN THOUGH
YOU'RE MOCKING ME,
235
00:12:26,270 --> 00:12:28,330
IT STILL WORKS.
236
00:12:32,300 --> 00:12:35,200
OKAY, CHARLIE,
NOW REPEAT AFTER ME,
237
00:12:35,200 --> 00:12:37,600
"TIM CAN,
I LOVE TIM CAN."
238
00:12:37,600 --> 00:12:39,300
YAY, TRASHY!
239
00:12:39,300 --> 00:12:41,300
GAHHH!
240
00:12:43,370 --> 00:12:45,370
( doorbell rings )
241
00:12:50,000 --> 00:12:52,230
GUYS, WHAT ARE YOU
DOING HERE?
242
00:12:52,230 --> 00:12:55,200
- THIS IS MY MOTHER ELAINE.
- WE NEED YOU.
243
00:12:56,270 --> 00:12:57,770
WE TRIED
ORDERING CHICKEN,
244
00:12:57,770 --> 00:12:59,600
BUT THEY SAID YOU
WEREN'T WORKING TODAY.
245
00:13:00,670 --> 00:13:04,670
WELL, I GUESS
I COULD FIT YOU IN.
246
00:13:04,670 --> 00:13:06,330
HAVE A SEAT.
247
00:13:06,330 --> 00:13:08,200
OKAY, TALK TO ME.
248
00:13:08,200 --> 00:13:10,200
I DIDN'T COME HALFWAY
ACROSS THIS COUNTRY
249
00:13:10,200 --> 00:13:12,400
SO THESE TWO COULD GO OUT
ON A DATE NIGHT.
250
00:13:12,400 --> 00:13:14,200
THEN FEEL FREE TO GO BACK.
251
00:13:14,200 --> 00:13:16,400
SCOTT,
THAT IS MY MOTHER.
252
00:13:16,400 --> 00:13:18,230
OKAY OKAY, I SEE
WHAT'S GOING ON HERE.
253
00:13:18,230 --> 00:13:20,700
YOU GUYS ARE
TALKING AT EACH OTHER,
NOT WITH EACH OTHER.
254
00:13:20,700 --> 00:13:23,100
NOW YOU TALK TO ME,
AND I'LL TALK TO HIM.
255
00:13:23,100 --> 00:13:25,600
AND HE'LL TALK TO ME
AND I'LL TALK TO HER.
256
00:13:25,600 --> 00:13:28,230
SHE'LL TALK TO ME,
AND I'LL TALK TO YOU.
257
00:13:28,230 --> 00:13:30,270
THAT'S YOU TO ME,
ME TO HIM, HIM TO ME,
258
00:13:30,270 --> 00:13:32,170
ME TO HER, HER TO ME,
ME TO YOU.
259
00:13:32,170 --> 00:13:34,130
IT'S JUST THAT SIMPLE.
260
00:13:34,130 --> 00:13:37,130
IT'S KIND OF HARD
TO TAKE YOU SERIOUSLY
WITHOUT THE HAT.
261
00:13:37,130 --> 00:13:39,530
OH, SORRY.
262
00:13:39,530 --> 00:13:41,230
LET'S GET TO WORK.
263
00:13:42,330 --> 00:13:45,430
I WAS JUST AFRAID
OF LOSING YOU.
264
00:13:45,430 --> 00:13:47,030
( crying )
265
00:13:47,030 --> 00:13:49,400
YOU'LL NEVER LOSE ME.
266
00:13:50,730 --> 00:13:53,370
AND YOU CAN STAY HERE
AS LONG AS YOU LIKE,MOM.
267
00:13:53,370 --> 00:13:55,370
( wails )
268
00:13:57,430 --> 00:13:59,730
WHAT'S GOING ON
IN HERE?
269
00:13:59,730 --> 00:14:03,370
HEALING.
WHAT'S GOING ON
IN HERE IS HEALING.
270
00:14:03,370 --> 00:14:05,370
( wailing continues )
271
00:14:08,400 --> 00:14:12,170
THANK YOU,
MR. TURTLEBAUM. OH.
272
00:14:12,170 --> 00:14:15,230
OF "TURTLEBAUM
& TURTLEBAUM ACCOUNTING:
273
00:14:15,230 --> 00:14:18,200
A PROFESSIONAL CORPORATION."
274
00:14:18,200 --> 00:14:21,200
RIGHT.
NOW LET'S GIVE A WARM
ROOM SIX WELCOME
275
00:14:21,200 --> 00:14:23,200
TO MY DAD, BOB DUNCAN.
276
00:14:23,200 --> 00:14:26,200
- HEY.
- DAZZLE ME.
277
00:14:27,600 --> 00:14:32,330
HEY, EVERYBODY,
I AM BOB DUNCAN
OF BOB'S BUGS BE GONE.
278
00:14:32,330 --> 00:14:34,500
AND I AM HERE TODAY
279
00:14:34,500 --> 00:14:36,230
TO TALK TO YOU
280
00:14:36,230 --> 00:14:39,100
ABOUT THE FINE ART
OF PEST CONTROL.
281
00:14:40,170 --> 00:14:44,200
YES.
NOW IN MY TYPICAL DAY,
282
00:14:44,200 --> 00:14:46,600
I COME ACROSS
ALL SORTS OF INSECTS--
283
00:14:46,600 --> 00:14:50,230
ANTS, ROACHES, MICE.
284
00:14:53,230 --> 00:14:55,570
"WAIT, MR. DUNCAN,"
YOU SAY,
285
00:14:55,570 --> 00:14:58,570
"MICE AREN'T INSECTS.
THEY ARE..."
286
00:15:00,500 --> 00:15:02,730
ANYBODY?
287
00:15:02,730 --> 00:15:06,100
THAT'S RIGHT.
THEY ARE RODENTS.
288
00:15:06,100 --> 00:15:09,030
NOT HERE TO LEARN.
289
00:15:09,030 --> 00:15:12,270
ANYWAY, I'VE BROUGHT ALONG
SOME ANIMALS
290
00:15:12,270 --> 00:15:14,530
THAT, ALTHOUGH I'VE NEVER
SEEN THEM ON THE JOB,
291
00:15:14,530 --> 00:15:16,200
I COULD QUITE
POSSIBLY CATCH
292
00:15:16,200 --> 00:15:19,370
IF WE WERE LIVING
IN A DIFFERENT CLIMATE
293
00:15:19,370 --> 00:15:22,200
ON A DIFFERENT CONTINENT.
294
00:15:22,200 --> 00:15:25,230
FOR EXAMPLE...
295
00:15:27,070 --> 00:15:28,470
-LOOK AT THAT GUY.
- Kids: OOH!
296
00:15:28,470 --> 00:15:31,370
THAT IS AN EMPEROR SCORPION.
297
00:15:31,370 --> 00:15:35,030
NOW SOME PEOPLE SAY THAT
ITS STING IS NO WORSE
THAN A BEE'S,
298
00:15:35,030 --> 00:15:38,270
AND OTHERS, WELL,
THEY'RE NOT AROUND
TO SAY ANYTHING.
299
00:15:38,270 --> 00:15:40,500
( laughs ) OW!
300
00:15:40,500 --> 00:15:42,170
- ( kids scream )
-( Bob laughs )
301
00:15:42,170 --> 00:15:45,570
I'M JUST KIDDING.
I'M JUST KIDDING.
302
00:15:45,570 --> 00:15:48,370
HEY, YOU THOUGHT
THAT WAS COOL, HUH?
303
00:15:48,370 --> 00:15:51,170
WAIT UNTIL YOU CHECK OUT
THIS GUY.
304
00:15:54,570 --> 00:15:57,000
WHOA.
305
00:15:57,000 --> 00:15:58,330
LOOK AT HIM, HUH?
306
00:15:58,330 --> 00:16:01,170
THIS IS A CORN SNAKE.
307
00:16:01,170 --> 00:16:03,670
PRETTY COOL, HUH?
THAT'S MY DAD.
308
00:16:08,270 --> 00:16:11,200
HELLO, EVERYBODY,
WELCOME TO STORY TIME.
309
00:16:11,200 --> 00:16:13,570
MY NAME IS TEDDY,
AND TODAY WE HAVE
A SPECIAL TREAT.
310
00:16:13,570 --> 00:16:15,270
YOU'RE GONNA HEAR
TWO STORIES.
311
00:16:15,270 --> 00:16:17,470
THE FIRST ONE IS WRITTEN
BY ME, AND IT'S CALLED
312
00:16:17,470 --> 00:16:20,400
"TIM CAN AND HIS
AMAZING JOURNEY."
313
00:16:20,400 --> 00:16:21,670
TIN CAN?
314
00:16:21,670 --> 00:16:24,570
TIM. TIM CAN.
315
00:16:24,570 --> 00:16:28,030
( clears throat )
ALL RIGHT, NOW BEFORE
WE BEGIN,
316
00:16:28,030 --> 00:16:29,430
JUST A REMINDER,
AS OF TODAY,
317
00:16:29,430 --> 00:16:32,700
THIS STORY HAS NOT
BEEN PUBLISHED.
318
00:16:34,700 --> 00:16:38,230
OKAY. "ONCE UPON A TIME,
THERE WAS A LITTLE CAN OF SOUP
319
00:16:38,230 --> 00:16:40,100
AND HIS NAME WAS TIM.
320
00:16:40,100 --> 00:16:44,100
TIM LIVED AT THE GROCERY STORE
HOPING SOMEDAY SOMEONE
WOULD BUY HIM.
321
00:16:44,100 --> 00:16:46,330
ONE DAY
A NICE WOMAN DID.
322
00:16:46,330 --> 00:16:47,770
HER NAME WAS CANDACE."
323
00:16:47,770 --> 00:16:49,630
( scoffs )
324
00:16:49,630 --> 00:16:52,470
OH! HEY!
THAT'S YOUR NAME.
325
00:16:54,270 --> 00:16:56,470
THAT'S FUNNY.
OKAY.
326
00:16:56,470 --> 00:16:58,300
"CANDACE TOOK TIM HOME,
327
00:16:58,300 --> 00:17:00,030
POURED HIS SOUP IN A POT,
328
00:17:00,030 --> 00:17:02,070
THEN TOSSED HIM
IN THE RECYCLING BIN.
329
00:17:02,070 --> 00:17:05,170
TIM WAS SAD.
'IS THAT ALL THERE IS?'
HE WONDERED."
330
00:17:05,170 --> 00:17:08,170
THAT'S WHAT
I'M WONDERING.
331
00:17:13,170 --> 00:17:16,700
POOR PLUMBER,
HAVING TO FOLLOW ME.
332
00:17:16,700 --> 00:17:20,430
I GUESS SOMEBODY HAD TO GO ON
AFTER ELVIS, RIGHT?
333
00:17:20,430 --> 00:17:23,470
YOU DID GREAT, DAD,
AND MORE IMPORTANTLY,
334
00:17:23,470 --> 00:17:25,600
- SO DID YOUR BELT.
- YEAH.
335
00:17:25,600 --> 00:17:27,370
GABE, YOUR OLD MAN
WASN'T GONNA LET YOU DOWN.
336
00:17:33,200 --> 00:17:35,130
HAVE YOU SEEN
THE SCORPION?
337
00:17:35,130 --> 00:17:38,430
- WHAT?
YOU LOST A SCORP--
- WAIT WAIT WAIT WAIT.
338
00:17:38,430 --> 00:17:41,300
LET'S JUST FIND IT
QUIETLY BY OURSELVES.
339
00:17:41,300 --> 00:17:44,470
ALL RIGHT.
SCORPIONS AREN'T
POISONOUS, RIGHT?
340
00:17:44,470 --> 00:17:48,200
HOW SHOULD I KNOW?
I JUST RENTED IT THIS MORNING.
341
00:17:48,200 --> 00:17:51,300
I THOUGHT I SAW SOMETHING
ON TV THAT SAID A SCORPION
CAN PARALYZE YOU.
342
00:17:51,300 --> 00:17:53,230
THAT MIGHT HAVE BEEN
A NICE THING TO MENTION
343
00:17:53,230 --> 00:17:55,670
BEFORE I LET IT
WALK ON ME.
344
00:17:55,670 --> 00:17:58,300
( screaming )
345
00:17:58,300 --> 00:18:01,070
I THINK THEY FOUND IT.
346
00:18:01,070 --> 00:18:03,770
"AND AFTER TIM HAD BEEN
RECYCLED INTO TIM PIE PLATE
347
00:18:03,770 --> 00:18:05,370
AND TIM ALUMINUM FOIL,
348
00:18:05,370 --> 00:18:08,170
HE WENT BACK
TO BEING TIM CAN
349
00:18:08,170 --> 00:18:11,570
AND LIVED HAPPILY
EVER AFTER.
THE END."
350
00:18:11,570 --> 00:18:13,300
YAY!
351
00:18:13,300 --> 00:18:16,600
WELL, KIDS, WASN'T THAT
BETTER THAN "CHEESY
AND PEPE PIZZA"?
352
00:18:16,600 --> 00:18:19,200
Kids: YEAH!
353
00:18:19,200 --> 00:18:20,700
Amy:
HEY, KIDS,
HERE COMES TRASHY!
354
00:18:23,370 --> 00:18:25,300
HEY, EVERYBODY,
355
00:18:25,300 --> 00:18:28,270
I'M TRASHY THE TRASH CAN.
356
00:18:29,530 --> 00:18:31,230
BUT I'M NOT
JUST ANY TRASH CAN.
357
00:18:31,230 --> 00:18:33,670
NO, I'M A TRASH CAN
THAT GIVES OUT CANDY.
358
00:18:33,670 --> 00:18:35,170
WHOO!
359
00:18:36,570 --> 00:18:39,200
AND THE BEST PART
ABOUT TRASHY
360
00:18:39,200 --> 00:18:40,500
IS THAT HE HAS
MAGICAL POWERS
361
00:18:40,500 --> 00:18:42,530
SO THAT HE NEVER
RUNS OUT OF CANDY.
362
00:18:42,530 --> 00:18:44,570
YEAH, EAT IT UP.
YEAH, EAT IT UP.
363
00:18:44,570 --> 00:18:47,770
AND THAT'S THE STORY
OF TRASHY THE TRASH CAN.
THE END.
364
00:18:47,770 --> 00:18:49,700
THAT'S NOT A STORY.
365
00:18:49,700 --> 00:18:52,670
YOU'RE JUST THROWING CANDY
AT THE KIDS SO THEY'LL LIKE
YOUR BOOK BETTER.
366
00:18:52,670 --> 00:18:56,030
WELL, LET'S SEE IF IT WORKS.
WHO LIKES TRASHY BETTER
THAN TIM CAN?
367
00:18:56,030 --> 00:18:57,600
- ME!
- Amy:OOH OOH OOH!
YEAH YEAH!
368
00:18:57,600 --> 00:18:59,300
-MM-HMM.
- OH, YEAH?
369
00:18:59,300 --> 00:19:02,300
WELL, I FORGOT TO TELL YOU
ONE THING ABOUT TIM CAN.
370
00:19:02,300 --> 00:19:05,170
HE IS GONNA TAKE ALL
OF YOU KIDS IN THE LIBRARY
371
00:19:05,170 --> 00:19:07,200
OUT FOR ICE CREAM.
372
00:19:07,200 --> 00:19:09,170
( cheering )
373
00:19:09,170 --> 00:19:11,030
OKAY, EVERYBODY REPEAT
AFTER ME.
374
00:19:11,030 --> 00:19:13,100
( chanting )
TRASHY! TRASHY! TRASHY!
375
00:19:13,100 --> 00:19:15,770
- TIM CAN! TIM CAN! TIM CAN!
- TRASHY! TRASHY! TRASHY!
376
00:19:15,770 --> 00:19:17,670
OH, CANDACE, DO YOU
WANNA BUY MY STORY?
377
00:19:17,670 --> 00:19:19,170
OR DO YOU WANNA
BUYMYSTORY?
378
00:19:19,170 --> 00:19:23,430
WHAT I WANT IS TO FIND
A NEW LIBRARY FOR STORY TIME.
379
00:19:25,770 --> 00:19:29,670
GREAT.
WHAT AM I SUPPOSED TO DO
WITH 500 OF THESE?
380
00:19:38,170 --> 00:19:40,030
AND WHAT SEEMS TO BE
THE PROBLEM TONIGHT?
381
00:19:40,030 --> 00:19:42,330
THERE'S NO PROBLEM.
EVERYTHING'S GREAT.
382
00:19:42,330 --> 00:19:44,030
AREN'T WE PAST THIS?
LET'S DIVE IN.
383
00:19:44,030 --> 00:19:46,270
NO, SERIOUSLY,
WE'RE FINE.
384
00:19:46,270 --> 00:19:48,300
WE WORKED OUT
ALL OUR ISSUES.
385
00:19:48,300 --> 00:19:49,570
THEN WHY'D YOU
ORDER CHICKEN?
386
00:19:49,570 --> 00:19:52,030
BECAUSE WE'RE HUNGRY.
387
00:19:53,200 --> 00:19:54,770
BUT IF YOU GUYS ARE FINE,
388
00:19:54,770 --> 00:19:58,130
THEN I'M JUST
THE CHICKEN GUY.
389
00:19:58,130 --> 00:20:01,170
PRETTY MUCH.
390
00:20:01,170 --> 00:20:03,270
THANKS.
391
00:20:03,270 --> 00:20:06,270
KEEP THE CHANGE.
392
00:20:09,200 --> 00:20:12,230
I'LL BE BACK!
393
00:20:12,230 --> 00:20:14,300
I FORGOT YOUR SIDES.
394
00:20:20,330 --> 00:20:22,270
GABE.
395
00:20:23,630 --> 00:20:25,730
CAN I TALK TO YOU
FOR A MINUTE?
396
00:20:25,730 --> 00:20:28,170
KINDA BUSY WITH
MY STRING CHEESE.
397
00:20:29,500 --> 00:20:32,570
BUDDY, I'M REALLY SORRY
ABOUT TODAY.
398
00:20:33,770 --> 00:20:36,000
ALL YOU ASKED ME TO DO
WAS NOT EMBARRASS YOU.
399
00:20:36,000 --> 00:20:37,600
AND THAT'S EXACTLY
WHAT I DID.
400
00:20:37,600 --> 00:20:39,700
DAD, YOU DIDN'T
EMBARRASS ME.
401
00:20:39,700 --> 00:20:42,300
THANKS TO YOU,
EVERYBODY LOVES ME.
402
00:20:42,300 --> 00:20:44,170
WHAT?
403
00:20:44,170 --> 00:20:47,630
YEAH, AFTER
THE SCORPION STUNG YOU,
AND THEN YOU PASSED OUT,
404
00:20:47,630 --> 00:20:49,670
AND THEN MR. TURTLEBAUM
TRIED TO SUCK THE POISON
OUT OF YOU
405
00:20:49,670 --> 00:20:51,500
AND THEN HE PASSED OUT.
406
00:20:51,500 --> 00:20:52,730
( laughing )
407
00:20:53,730 --> 00:20:55,730
WHAT?
408
00:20:55,730 --> 00:20:59,300
IN ALL THE CONFUSION,
THE SNAKE GOT LOOSE.
409
00:20:59,300 --> 00:21:01,600
YEAH, BACKUP.
TURTLEBAUM DID WHAT?
410
00:21:03,230 --> 00:21:04,730
AND THEN WHILE YOU WERE
AT THE HOSPITAL,
411
00:21:04,730 --> 00:21:08,670
THE FIRE DEPARTMENT CAME
AND THE WHOLE SCHOOL WAS
EVACUATED FOR THE DAY.
412
00:21:08,670 --> 00:21:11,370
I AM A HERO BECAUSE OF YOU.
413
00:21:13,000 --> 00:21:14,370
THANKS, DAD.
414
00:21:16,170 --> 00:21:19,170
NOW I'M GONNA NEED AN ANSWER
ON THAT TURTLEBAUM QUESTION.
415
00:21:23,230 --> 00:21:25,330
Well, Charlie,
needless to say,
416
00:21:25,330 --> 00:21:27,300
I'm still unpublished,
417
00:21:27,300 --> 00:21:31,130
but the good news is
so is Mom.
418
00:21:33,000 --> 00:21:36,200
I think we learned
a very important lesson.
419
00:21:36,200 --> 00:21:38,770
I look good even
in a trash can.
420
00:21:41,470 --> 00:21:44,000
Well, that's one
of the lessons.
421
00:21:44,000 --> 00:21:46,300
- So--
- I just feel so empty,
422
00:21:46,300 --> 00:21:48,470
so abandoned.
423
00:21:50,270 --> 00:21:53,570
I guess it'd be safe
to say I feel used.
424
00:21:55,300 --> 00:21:57,300
You know what I'm saying?
425
00:22:01,230 --> 00:22:04,100
Teddy:
been here for 10 minutes.
426
00:22:04,100 --> 00:22:05,670
Pay him already.
427
00:22:08,500 --> 00:22:11,030
Hey, see you tomorrow?
428
00:22:14,500 --> 00:22:18,170
Sometimes there's nothing
Charlie.say but good luck,
429
00:22:24,700 --> 00:22:27,030
POOR ME.
430
00:22:27,030 --> 00:22:29,030
I DON'T HAVE ANY TOPPINGS,
431
00:22:29,030 --> 00:22:31,070
JUST CHEESE.
432
00:22:31,070 --> 00:22:33,130
YOU'RE A LOSER, CHEESY.
433
00:22:33,130 --> 00:22:36,530
LOOK AT ME,
ALL COVERED IN PEPPERONI.
434
00:22:36,530 --> 00:22:40,230
THERE MUST BE SOMETHING GOOD
ABOUT BEING SO PLAIN.
435
00:22:40,230 --> 00:22:43,070
OH YEAH, WHEN YOU THINK
OF IT, LET ME KNOW.
436
00:22:44,200 --> 00:22:45,470
UH-OH.
437
00:22:45,470 --> 00:22:48,730
PLAIN OLD CHEESE
OR DELICIOUS PEPPERONI?
438
00:22:48,730 --> 00:22:51,000
NO!
439
00:22:52,500 --> 00:22:55,770
HUH, I GUESS
THERE IS SOMETHING GOOD
440
00:22:55,770 --> 00:22:58,230
ABOUT BEING PLAIN.
441
00:23:01,070 --> 00:23:03,070
IT'D BE A SHAME
TO LEAVE JUST ONE.
442
00:23:03,070 --> 00:23:04,500
I WAS AFRAID OF THAT.
32422
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