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Would you like to inspect the original subtitles? These are the user uploaded subtitles that are being translated: 1 00:00:07,330 --> 00:00:10,270 HEY, DAD, YOU GONNA EAT YOUR LAST PIECE OF BACON? 2 00:00:10,270 --> 00:00:12,270 ( all laughing ) 3 00:00:12,270 --> 00:00:13,570 NICE. 4 00:00:13,570 --> 00:00:16,400 OH, DAD, BY THE WAY I'M HAVING CAREER DAY AT MY SCHOOL, 5 00:00:16,400 --> 00:00:18,200 AND I WAS WONDERING IF YOU COULD COME. 6 00:00:18,200 --> 00:00:21,270 REALLY? YOU WANT ME TO COME IN AND TALK ABOUT MY JOB? 7 00:00:21,270 --> 00:00:23,500 - THAT'S FANTASTIC. - EASY, BIG GUY. 8 00:00:23,500 --> 00:00:25,670 YOU'RE A TIME FILLER. NOTHING MORE, NOTHING LESS. 9 00:00:28,130 --> 00:00:31,200 THAT'S A LITTLE LESS FANTASTIC. 10 00:00:31,200 --> 00:00:33,770 HEY, HOW COME I NEVER CAME IN AND SPOKE TO ONE OF YOUR CLASSES? 11 00:00:33,770 --> 00:00:37,030 WE DIDN'T HAVE CAREER DAY BACK THEN. 12 00:00:37,030 --> 00:00:39,570 IT'S A WHOLE NEW IDEA. 13 00:00:41,000 --> 00:00:43,330 REALLY? THEY HAD CAREER DAY WHEN I WAS A KID. 14 00:00:43,330 --> 00:00:46,130 MUST HAVE SKIPPED A GENERATION. 15 00:00:46,130 --> 00:00:48,430 HEY, GABE. 16 00:00:48,430 --> 00:00:51,270 WHY AREN'T YOU ASKING ME TO CAREER DAY THIS YEAR? 17 00:00:51,270 --> 00:00:53,330 BECAUSE OF WHAT HAPPENED LAST YEAR. 18 00:00:53,330 --> 00:00:56,270 WE SEE A LOT OF INTERESTING THINGS IN THE EMERGENCY ROOM. 19 00:00:56,270 --> 00:00:59,070 THIS IS WHAT CAN HAPPEN WHEN YOU DON'T FOLLOW THE DIRECTIONS 20 00:00:59,070 --> 00:01:00,570 ON THE CHAINSAW. 21 00:01:00,570 --> 00:01:04,270 - ( screaming ) - KIDS, KIDS, HOLD YOUR REACTIONS TILL THE END. 22 00:01:04,270 --> 00:01:05,700 WE'VE GOT A LOT OF PICTURES HERE. 23 00:01:08,230 --> 00:01:10,530 SO NOW SEVERED LIMBS ARE OFF-LIMITS TO 11-YEAR-OLDS? 24 00:01:10,530 --> 00:01:12,200 WHAT? 25 00:01:13,500 --> 00:01:16,630 ( rock music playing ) 26 00:01:16,630 --> 00:01:18,330 ♪ TODAY'S ALL BURNT TOAST ♪ 27 00:01:18,330 --> 00:01:20,030 ♪ RUNNING LATE AND DAD JOKES ♪ 28 00:01:20,030 --> 00:01:22,770 ♪ "HAS ANYBODY SEEN MY LEFT SHOE?" ♪ 29 00:01:22,770 --> 00:01:24,670 ♪ I CLOSE MY EYES, TAKE A BITE ♪ 30 00:01:24,670 --> 00:01:26,270 ♪ GRAB A RIDE, LAUGH OUT LOUD ♪ 31 00:01:26,270 --> 00:01:28,270 ♪ THERE IT IS UP ON THE ROOF ♪ 32 00:01:29,670 --> 00:01:32,770 ♪ I'VE BEEN THERE, I SURVIVED ♪ 33 00:01:32,770 --> 00:01:36,130 ♪ SO JUST TAKE MY ADVICE ♪ 34 00:01:36,130 --> 00:01:39,600 ♪ HANG IN THERE, BABY, THINGS ARE CRAZY ♪ 35 00:01:39,600 --> 00:01:42,500 ♪ BUT I KNOW YOUR FUTURE'S BRIGHT ♪ 36 00:01:42,500 --> 00:01:44,330 ♪ HANG IN THERE, BABY ♪ 37 00:01:44,330 --> 00:01:46,130 ♪ THERE'S NO MAYBE ♪ 38 00:01:46,130 --> 00:01:49,070 ♪ EVERYTHING TURNS OUT ALL RIGHT ♪ 39 00:01:49,070 --> 00:01:51,300 ♪ SURE LIFE IS UP AND DOWN ♪ 40 00:01:51,300 --> 00:01:55,130 ♪ BUT TRUST ME, IT COMES BACK AROUND ♪ 41 00:01:55,130 --> 00:01:59,070 ♪ YOU'RE GONNA LOVE WHO YOU TURN OUT TO BE ♪ 42 00:02:00,070 --> 00:02:03,000 ♪ HANG IN THERE, BABY. ♪ 43 00:02:10,700 --> 00:02:13,430 "'AND CHEESY,' THE SAD LITTLE PIZZA SAID, 44 00:02:13,430 --> 00:02:16,000 'I JUST FEEL SO PLAIN.' 45 00:02:16,000 --> 00:02:19,100 AND PEPE, HIS FRIEND THE PEPPERONI PIZZA SAID, 46 00:02:19,100 --> 00:02:22,270 'BUT, CHEESY, THAT'S WHY KIDS LOVE YOU.' 47 00:02:22,270 --> 00:02:25,070 AND CHEESY FELT ALL BETTER. 48 00:02:25,070 --> 00:02:27,030 THE END." 49 00:02:29,200 --> 00:02:30,300 MOM. 50 00:02:32,570 --> 00:02:35,670 CANDACE, THANK YOU WE REALLY ENJOYED IT.. 51 00:02:35,670 --> 00:02:38,000 I HEARD YOU SNORING. 52 00:02:38,000 --> 00:02:40,200 THE IMPORTANT THING RIGHT, CHARLIE?D IT. 53 00:02:40,200 --> 00:02:42,100 NO, MOMMY. 54 00:02:42,100 --> 00:02:45,170 SHE'S RIGHT. IT WAS NOT A GOOD BOOK. 55 00:02:45,170 --> 00:02:47,570 I COULD WRITE A BETTER STORY THAN THAT. 56 00:02:47,570 --> 00:02:50,330 I WISH YOU WOULD. PUBLISHING,HILDREN'S 57 00:02:50,330 --> 00:02:54,100 AND I AM ALWAYS FOR NEW TALENT. 58 00:02:54,100 --> 00:02:57,370 ANYWAY, WE'LL SEE YOU GUYS NEXT WEEK. 59 00:02:57,370 --> 00:02:59,730 - BYE, CANDACE. - SEE YA. 60 00:02:59,730 --> 00:03:02,230 - THAT GIVES ME AN IDEA. - ME TOO. 61 00:03:02,230 --> 00:03:04,530 Both: A CHILDREN'S BOOK! 62 00:03:04,530 --> 00:03:05,670 WHAT DO YOU KNOW ABOUT WRITING? 63 00:03:05,670 --> 00:03:07,430 WHAT DO YOU KNOW ABOUT CHILDREN? 64 00:03:07,430 --> 00:03:10,130 MAYBE WE COULD WRITE A BOOK TOGETHER. 65 00:03:10,130 --> 00:03:13,530 AND THEN WE COULD READ IT AT NEXT WEEK'S STORY TIME. 66 00:03:13,530 --> 00:03:16,730 AND THE KIDS WILL GO CRAZY. CANDACE WILL PUBLISH IT, 67 00:03:16,730 --> 00:03:19,130 AND I'LL BE ON "GOOD MORNING DENVER." 68 00:03:19,130 --> 00:03:22,100 RIGHT NOW LET'S JUST FOCUS ON WRITING A GOOD STORY FOR THE KIDS. 69 00:03:22,100 --> 00:03:25,770 YOU'RE RIGHT. YOU'RE RIGHT. IT'S ALL ABOUT THE KIDS. 70 00:03:47,270 --> 00:03:49,770 OH, GREAT. I GUESS DINNER'S HERE. 71 00:03:49,770 --> 00:03:53,200 AND A HAPPY KWIKKI CHIKKI HELLO TO YOU. 72 00:03:53,200 --> 00:03:56,170 - I HEARD THAT, SCOTT. - I'M SURE THAT YOU HEARD, BUT WHEN I ASK 73 00:03:56,170 --> 00:03:59,070 FOR A HOME-COOKED MEAL, YOU SUDDENLY GO DEAF. 74 00:03:59,070 --> 00:04:01,430 I'M NOT A HOUSEWIFE. I WORK TOO. 75 00:04:01,430 --> 00:04:02,730 DO YOU WANT ME TO COME BACK LATER? 76 00:04:02,730 --> 00:04:04,370 NO, THEN THE FOOD WILL BE COLD. 77 00:04:04,370 --> 00:04:06,630 DON'T WORRY. IT'S ALREADY COLD. 78 00:04:06,630 --> 00:04:09,070 LET'S ASK THIS GUY. WHAT DO YOU THINK? 79 00:04:09,070 --> 00:04:11,030 COME ON, WE WANT YOUR OPINION. 80 00:04:11,030 --> 00:04:13,000 WHO IS RESPONSIBLE FOR DINNER? 81 00:04:13,000 --> 00:04:16,200 THAT IS A TOUGH QUESTION. I'VE SEEN MY PARENTS HAVE THE VERY SAME ARGUMENT 82 00:04:16,200 --> 00:04:17,630 'CAUSE THEY BOTH HAVE JOBS TOO. 83 00:04:17,630 --> 00:04:20,270 - HOW DO THEY WORK IT OUT? - VERY LOUDLY. 84 00:04:20,270 --> 00:04:23,100 BUT AT LEAST THEY'RE COMMUNICATING, 85 00:04:23,100 --> 00:04:25,300 WHICH IS MAYBE WHAT YOU GUYS NEED TO DO. 86 00:04:25,300 --> 00:04:27,230 BUT WE ARE COMMUNICATING. 87 00:04:27,230 --> 00:04:29,770 ARE YOU? ARE YOU REALLY? 88 00:04:33,200 --> 00:04:35,270 NO, WE'RE NOT. 89 00:04:35,270 --> 00:04:37,130 MAYBE IT'S TIME TO START. 90 00:04:37,130 --> 00:04:41,300 I JUST WANT THINGS TO GO BACK TO THE WAY THEY WERE WHEN WE FIRST GOT MARRIED. 91 00:04:41,300 --> 00:04:44,230 I WANT THAT TOO. I'M SORRY, HONEY. 92 00:04:44,230 --> 00:04:46,670 I'M SORRY TOO. 93 00:04:46,670 --> 00:04:49,730 WELL, I GUESS THERE'S ONLY ONE THING LEFT TO SAY. 94 00:04:49,730 --> 00:04:51,600 THAT'LL BE $14.95. 95 00:05:01,600 --> 00:05:04,200 OKAY, TELL ME WHAT YOU THINK OF THIS. 96 00:05:04,200 --> 00:05:08,230 "ACTRESS, SINGER, DANCER, COMEDIAN, ENTERTAINER, NURSE, 97 00:05:08,230 --> 00:05:11,530 WIFE, MOTHER OF FOUR, AMY DUNCAN NOW ADDS AUTHOR 98 00:05:11,530 --> 00:05:13,600 TO HER LONG LIST OF CREDITS." 99 00:05:15,130 --> 00:05:16,600 WHAT IS THAT? 100 00:05:16,600 --> 00:05:18,200 IT'S MY BIO FOR THE BOOK JACKET. 101 00:05:19,400 --> 00:05:21,200 TOO LONG? 102 00:05:21,200 --> 00:05:24,370 'CAUSE I COULD LOSE "WIFE AND MOTHER OF FOUR." 103 00:05:26,430 --> 00:05:28,300 HEY, I HAVE AN IDEA. 104 00:05:28,300 --> 00:05:30,670 INSTEAD OF A BOOK JACKET, LET'S WRITE A BOOK. 105 00:05:30,670 --> 00:05:34,400 OKAY, SEEMS KIND OF BACKWARDS TO ME, BUT OKAY, SURE. 106 00:05:36,200 --> 00:05:38,270 LET'S JUST BRAINSTORM AND SEE WHAT WE COME UP WITH. 107 00:05:38,270 --> 00:05:41,030 EXCELLENT IDEA. 108 00:05:41,030 --> 00:05:43,230 BRAINSTORMING. 109 00:05:46,270 --> 00:05:49,030 STORMY BRAIN. 110 00:05:50,400 --> 00:05:54,200 THINKING, THOUGHTS, IDEAS, WORDS-- 111 00:05:54,200 --> 00:05:57,170 MOM, BRAINSTORMS ARE USUALLY QUIET. 112 00:05:59,200 --> 00:06:00,500 SORRY. 113 00:06:00,500 --> 00:06:03,200 AND REMEMBER, AN IDEA CAN COME FROM ANYWHERE. 114 00:06:05,500 --> 00:06:08,430 - GOT IT! - WHAT? 115 00:06:08,430 --> 00:06:10,630 TRASHY. 116 00:06:12,200 --> 00:06:13,500 TRASHY? 117 00:06:13,500 --> 00:06:17,170 TRASHY THE TRASH CAN. 118 00:06:17,170 --> 00:06:21,130 I WAS STARING AT THE TRASH CAN AND IT JUST CAME TO ME. 119 00:06:21,130 --> 00:06:24,730 OKAY, TRASHY. 120 00:06:24,730 --> 00:06:26,730 SO WHAT'S HIS STORY? 121 00:06:26,730 --> 00:06:29,570 TEDDY, I CAN'T DO ALL THE WORK. I CAME UP WITH TRASHY. 122 00:06:29,570 --> 00:06:32,030 YEAH, BUT WHAT'S HE TRYING TO TEACH THE KIDS? 123 00:06:32,030 --> 00:06:34,400 OH, OKAY. 124 00:06:34,400 --> 00:06:38,300 UM, WELL, WHEN TRASHY 125 00:06:38,300 --> 00:06:40,670 SEES SOMEONE LITTER, 126 00:06:40,670 --> 00:06:43,570 HE SAYS, "ENH-ENH-ENH-ENH." 127 00:06:45,300 --> 00:06:48,630 I DO THAT REALLY WELL. I SHOULD DO HIS VOICE FOR THE MOVIE. 128 00:06:50,730 --> 00:06:53,030 HEY, MOM, LET'S THINK OF SOME OTHER IDEAS. 129 00:06:53,030 --> 00:06:54,330 REALLY? 130 00:06:54,330 --> 00:06:57,170 'CAUSE I'M LOVING ME SOME TRASHY. 131 00:06:57,170 --> 00:07:00,570 OKAY OKAY, WELL, MAYBE WE SHOULD WORK SEPARATELY, 132 00:07:00,570 --> 00:07:04,530 THEN GET TOGETHER TOMORROW WITH SOME NEW IDEAS 133 00:07:04,530 --> 00:07:07,200 THAT AREN'T BASED OFF OF THE FIRST THING YOU LOOKED AT. 134 00:07:09,200 --> 00:07:10,700 - FINE. - GOOD. 135 00:07:10,700 --> 00:07:12,700 - WHATEVER. - GREAT. 136 00:07:15,300 --> 00:07:17,300 ENH-ENH-ENH. 137 00:07:19,200 --> 00:07:21,200 I CAN SEE IT ON A T-SHIRT. 138 00:07:26,670 --> 00:07:28,700 OKAY, DAD, CAREER DAY IS TOMORROW. 139 00:07:28,700 --> 00:07:30,370 WHAT'S YOUR PLAN? 140 00:07:30,370 --> 00:07:32,070 - MY PLAN? - YEAH. 141 00:07:32,070 --> 00:07:34,170 TO WING IT. 142 00:07:34,170 --> 00:07:38,170 DAD, THIS ISN'T A TOAST TO MOM ON YOUR ANNIVERSARY. 143 00:07:38,170 --> 00:07:42,030 - THIS IS IMPORTANT. - ( stammers ) 144 00:07:42,030 --> 00:07:44,570 NOW YOU CAN'T JUST GET UP THERE AND TALK ABOUT YOUR JOB. 145 00:07:44,570 --> 00:07:46,270 YOU GOTTA PUT ON A SHOW. 146 00:07:46,270 --> 00:07:49,500 THIS IS ALL ABOUT THE SIZZLE, NOT THE STEAK. 147 00:07:49,500 --> 00:07:52,400 I GET IT. 148 00:07:52,400 --> 00:07:55,070 YOU WANT ME TO BRING IN A COUPLE OF CRITTERS THAT I CAUGHT, 149 00:07:55,070 --> 00:07:56,700 LIKE A RAT OR A POSSUM. 150 00:07:56,700 --> 00:07:59,670 IS THERE ANY CHANCE YOU COULD CATCH SOMETHING EXCITING, 151 00:07:59,670 --> 00:08:03,230 LIKE AN ALLIGATOR OR A LION 152 00:08:03,230 --> 00:08:07,000 OR A POLAR BEAR? YEAH. 153 00:08:10,270 --> 00:08:13,270 WELL, THOSE MIGHT BE TOUGH SINCE CAREER DAY IS TOMORROW. 154 00:08:14,230 --> 00:08:17,230 AND WE LIVE IN DENVER. 155 00:08:17,230 --> 00:08:19,300 ALL RIGHT, DAD, WHATEVER YOU DO, 156 00:08:19,300 --> 00:08:21,130 JUST DON'T EMBARRASS ME. 157 00:08:21,130 --> 00:08:23,570 THAT MEANS SHIRT TUCKED IN AND YOUR MOST DEPENDABLE BELT. 158 00:08:25,030 --> 00:08:28,200 HEY, THAT'S NOT GONNA HAPPEN AGAIN. 159 00:08:30,430 --> 00:08:33,770 MAN, YOU RUIN ONE LITTLE LEAGUE GAME... 160 00:08:38,630 --> 00:08:40,570 HI AGAIN. 161 00:08:40,570 --> 00:08:42,770 OOH, SOMETHING SMELLS GOOD. 162 00:08:42,770 --> 00:08:46,130 - I'M MAKING PORK CHOPS. - THEN WHY'D YOU ORDER CHICKEN? 163 00:08:46,130 --> 00:08:49,700 ACTUALLY, WE WERE HOPING YOU COULD HELP US WITH ANOTHER PROBLEM. 164 00:08:49,700 --> 00:08:53,530 OH, WELL, COME ON OUT. 165 00:08:53,530 --> 00:08:55,570 HAVE A SEAT, MAKE YOURSELVES AT HOME. 166 00:08:57,270 --> 00:08:59,000 TALK TO ME. 167 00:08:59,000 --> 00:09:02,400 THE THING IS CHRISTINE'S MOTHER WANTS TO COME AND STAY WITH US 168 00:09:02,400 --> 00:09:05,300 FOR TWO WEEKS. 169 00:09:05,300 --> 00:09:07,500 I WANTED TO ASK HER TO COME FOR LESS TIME, 170 00:09:07,500 --> 00:09:09,370 BUT-- 171 00:09:09,370 --> 00:09:10,670 BUT WHAT? 172 00:09:12,130 --> 00:09:14,700 COME ON, TELL THE CHICKEN GUY. 173 00:09:14,700 --> 00:09:18,670 - BUT I'M AFRAID OF HER. THERE, I SAID IT. - YEAH, BUT JUST BECAUSE-- 174 00:09:18,670 --> 00:09:21,670 HOLD ON. WE'RE WORKING WITH CHRISTINE NOW. 175 00:09:21,670 --> 00:09:24,030 NOW, CHRISTINE, HOW DID THAT MAKE YOU FEEL? 176 00:09:24,030 --> 00:09:27,130 WELL, IT MAKES ME FEEL SAD, AND I WANT SCOTT-- 177 00:09:27,130 --> 00:09:30,570 - SCOTT, FEEDBACK. - I FEEL THAT I'D LIKE TO HELP CHRISTINE, 178 00:09:30,570 --> 00:09:33,300 - SO SHE WOULDN'T BE SO SAD. - HOW CAN YOU HELP? 179 00:09:33,300 --> 00:09:36,200 - WELL-- BUT YOU ASKED ME. - ( gibberish ) 180 00:09:36,200 --> 00:09:39,270 DON'T QUESTION MY PROCESS. 181 00:09:39,270 --> 00:09:42,430 I'LL TELL YOU HOW YOU CAN HELP. DATE NIGHT. 182 00:09:42,430 --> 00:09:45,670 - DATE NIGHT. - YEAH, MAKE SURE YOU GUYS SCHEDULE SOME ALONE TIME 183 00:09:45,670 --> 00:09:47,170 WHILE YOUR MOTHER'S HERE. 184 00:09:47,170 --> 00:09:49,230 YOUR NEEDS ARE IMPORTANT TOO. 185 00:09:49,230 --> 00:09:52,630 - DATE NIGHT. THAT'S A GREAT IDEA. - YEAH. THANK YOU SO MUCH. 186 00:09:52,630 --> 00:09:54,300 HEY, IT'S WHAT I DO. 187 00:09:54,300 --> 00:09:56,300 NOW LET'S TAKE A LOOK AT THOSE PORK CHOPS. 188 00:10:02,700 --> 00:10:06,430 NOW BEFORE WE SHARE OUR BOOK IDEAS, 189 00:10:06,430 --> 00:10:09,130 LET'S REMEMBER TO BE KIND. 190 00:10:09,130 --> 00:10:12,170 THAT'S RIGHT. THERE ARE NO BAD IDEAS. 191 00:10:12,170 --> 00:10:14,230 I'LL GO FIRST. 192 00:10:15,700 --> 00:10:19,300 ( clears throat ) BA-BAM! 193 00:10:19,300 --> 00:10:23,000 HEY, TRASHY'S BACK. 194 00:10:24,200 --> 00:10:25,770 ( squeals ) I KNOW. 195 00:10:25,770 --> 00:10:29,200 TRY AS I MIGHT, I COULD NOT TOP HIM. 196 00:10:30,630 --> 00:10:32,130 CAN I SHARE ONE OF MY IDEAS NOW? 197 00:10:32,130 --> 00:10:34,470 Y-YEAH, OF COURSE. GO AHEAD. 198 00:10:34,470 --> 00:10:37,070 OKAY. ( clears throat ) 199 00:10:37,070 --> 00:10:39,330 SO MY IDEA IS A STORY 200 00:10:39,330 --> 00:10:43,300 ABOUT A LITTLE TIN CAN AND HIS NAME IS... 201 00:10:43,300 --> 00:10:46,200 "TIM CAN." 202 00:10:47,670 --> 00:10:51,230 SO THE STORY BEGINS WITH TIM ON THE SHELF AT THE STORE. 203 00:10:51,230 --> 00:10:53,230 THEN HE GOES ON SOME AMAZING ADVENTURES 204 00:10:53,230 --> 00:10:56,270 THAT TEACH KIDS ALL ABOUT RECYCLING. WHAT DO YOU THINK? 205 00:10:56,270 --> 00:10:59,030 I THINK I WAS WRONG. 206 00:10:59,030 --> 00:11:01,200 THERE ARE BAD IDEAS. 207 00:11:02,770 --> 00:11:04,430 HONEY, DON'T GET TOO DOWN ON YOURSELF. 208 00:11:04,430 --> 00:11:06,270 I SET THE BAR PRETTY HIGH WITH TRASHY. 209 00:11:06,270 --> 00:11:10,570 ARE YOU KIDDING? YOU JUST-- YOU POINTED AT A TRASH CAN 210 00:11:10,570 --> 00:11:13,400 AND GAVE IT A STUPID NAME. I COULD DO THAT. 211 00:11:13,400 --> 00:11:17,230 LET'S WRITE A STORY ABOUT TABLEY OR BLENDERY. 212 00:11:18,270 --> 00:11:20,300 BLENDERY? OKAY, THAT'S JUST SILLY. 213 00:11:20,300 --> 00:11:23,000 WHAT WOULD A BLENDER SAY? "CHOP CHOP CHOP"? 214 00:11:23,000 --> 00:11:24,500 EVEN I CAN'T MAKE THAT WORK. 215 00:11:26,530 --> 00:11:29,370 YOU KNOW WHAT DOESN'T WORK? THIS. 216 00:11:29,370 --> 00:11:32,200 YOU KNOW WHAT YOU ARE-- JEALOUS. 217 00:11:32,200 --> 00:11:34,170 YES, I AM, 218 00:11:34,170 --> 00:11:36,170 OF PEOPLE THAT DON'T HAVE TO WORK WITH YOU. 219 00:11:36,170 --> 00:11:38,230 THEN FINE. DON'T WORK WITH ME. 220 00:11:38,230 --> 00:11:39,700 I'LL WRITE "TRASHY" BY MYSELF. 221 00:11:39,700 --> 00:11:42,030 OKAY, WELL, I'LL WRITE "TIM CAN" BY MYSELF, 222 00:11:42,030 --> 00:11:45,700 THEN NEXT WEEK AT STORY TIME, WE'LL LET THE KIDS DECIDE WHICH ONE'S BEST. 223 00:11:45,700 --> 00:11:59,000 OH YEAH YEAH. THEY'LL DECIDE... TO FEED YOUR BOOK TO TRASHY! 224 00:11:59,000 --> 00:12:01,770 WHEN MOMMY FINISHES READING HER BOOK AT STORY TIME, 225 00:12:01,770 --> 00:12:05,100 I WANT YOU TO JUMP UP AND YELL, "YAY, TRASHY!" 226 00:12:05,100 --> 00:12:07,330 - CAN YOU DO THAT FOR ME? - YAY, TRASHY! 227 00:12:07,330 --> 00:12:08,470 YAY! 228 00:12:08,470 --> 00:12:11,470 - WHAT ARE YOU DOING? - NOTHING. 229 00:12:11,470 --> 00:12:14,300 YOU'RE COACHING CHARLIE. MOM, THAT'S CHEATING. 230 00:12:14,300 --> 00:12:16,000 I AM HER MOTHER. 231 00:12:16,000 --> 00:12:18,700 IT IS MY JOB TO TELL HER WHAT STUFF TO LIKE. 232 00:12:18,700 --> 00:12:21,300 OKAY, SO TRASHY'S THE RIGHT STUFF? 233 00:12:21,300 --> 00:12:23,170 ENH-ENH-ENH. 234 00:12:23,170 --> 00:12:26,270 EVEN THOUGH YOU'RE MOCKING ME, 235 00:12:26,270 --> 00:12:28,330 IT STILL WORKS. 236 00:12:32,300 --> 00:12:35,200 OKAY, CHARLIE, NOW REPEAT AFTER ME, 237 00:12:35,200 --> 00:12:37,600 "TIM CAN, I LOVE TIM CAN." 238 00:12:37,600 --> 00:12:39,300 YAY, TRASHY! 239 00:12:39,300 --> 00:12:41,300 GAHHH! 240 00:12:43,370 --> 00:12:45,370 ( doorbell rings ) 241 00:12:50,000 --> 00:12:52,230 GUYS, WHAT ARE YOU DOING HERE? 242 00:12:52,230 --> 00:12:55,200 - THIS IS MY MOTHER ELAINE. - WE NEED YOU. 243 00:12:56,270 --> 00:12:57,770 WE TRIED ORDERING CHICKEN, 244 00:12:57,770 --> 00:12:59,600 BUT THEY SAID YOU WEREN'T WORKING TODAY. 245 00:13:00,670 --> 00:13:04,670 WELL, I GUESS I COULD FIT YOU IN. 246 00:13:04,670 --> 00:13:06,330 HAVE A SEAT. 247 00:13:06,330 --> 00:13:08,200 OKAY, TALK TO ME. 248 00:13:08,200 --> 00:13:10,200 I DIDN'T COME HALFWAY ACROSS THIS COUNTRY 249 00:13:10,200 --> 00:13:12,400 SO THESE TWO COULD GO OUT ON A DATE NIGHT. 250 00:13:12,400 --> 00:13:14,200 THEN FEEL FREE TO GO BACK. 251 00:13:14,200 --> 00:13:16,400 SCOTT, THAT IS MY MOTHER. 252 00:13:16,400 --> 00:13:18,230 OKAY OKAY, I SEE WHAT'S GOING ON HERE. 253 00:13:18,230 --> 00:13:20,700 YOU GUYS ARE TALKING AT EACH OTHER, NOT WITH EACH OTHER. 254 00:13:20,700 --> 00:13:23,100 NOW YOU TALK TO ME, AND I'LL TALK TO HIM. 255 00:13:23,100 --> 00:13:25,600 AND HE'LL TALK TO ME AND I'LL TALK TO HER. 256 00:13:25,600 --> 00:13:28,230 SHE'LL TALK TO ME, AND I'LL TALK TO YOU. 257 00:13:28,230 --> 00:13:30,270 THAT'S YOU TO ME, ME TO HIM, HIM TO ME, 258 00:13:30,270 --> 00:13:32,170 ME TO HER, HER TO ME, ME TO YOU. 259 00:13:32,170 --> 00:13:34,130 IT'S JUST THAT SIMPLE. 260 00:13:34,130 --> 00:13:37,130 IT'S KIND OF HARD TO TAKE YOU SERIOUSLY WITHOUT THE HAT. 261 00:13:37,130 --> 00:13:39,530 OH, SORRY. 262 00:13:39,530 --> 00:13:41,230 LET'S GET TO WORK. 263 00:13:42,330 --> 00:13:45,430 I WAS JUST AFRAID OF LOSING YOU. 264 00:13:45,430 --> 00:13:47,030 ( crying ) 265 00:13:47,030 --> 00:13:49,400 YOU'LL NEVER LOSE ME. 266 00:13:50,730 --> 00:13:53,370 AND YOU CAN STAY HERE AS LONG AS YOU LIKE,MOM. 267 00:13:53,370 --> 00:13:55,370 ( wails ) 268 00:13:57,430 --> 00:13:59,730 WHAT'S GOING ON IN HERE? 269 00:13:59,730 --> 00:14:03,370 HEALING. WHAT'S GOING ON IN HERE IS HEALING. 270 00:14:03,370 --> 00:14:05,370 ( wailing continues ) 271 00:14:08,400 --> 00:14:12,170 THANK YOU, MR. TURTLEBAUM. OH. 272 00:14:12,170 --> 00:14:15,230 OF "TURTLEBAUM & TURTLEBAUM ACCOUNTING: 273 00:14:15,230 --> 00:14:18,200 A PROFESSIONAL CORPORATION." 274 00:14:18,200 --> 00:14:21,200 RIGHT. NOW LET'S GIVE A WARM ROOM SIX WELCOME 275 00:14:21,200 --> 00:14:23,200 TO MY DAD, BOB DUNCAN. 276 00:14:23,200 --> 00:14:26,200 - HEY. - DAZZLE ME. 277 00:14:27,600 --> 00:14:32,330 HEY, EVERYBODY, I AM BOB DUNCAN OF BOB'S BUGS BE GONE. 278 00:14:32,330 --> 00:14:34,500 AND I AM HERE TODAY 279 00:14:34,500 --> 00:14:36,230 TO TALK TO YOU 280 00:14:36,230 --> 00:14:39,100 ABOUT THE FINE ART OF PEST CONTROL. 281 00:14:40,170 --> 00:14:44,200 YES. NOW IN MY TYPICAL DAY, 282 00:14:44,200 --> 00:14:46,600 I COME ACROSS ALL SORTS OF INSECTS-- 283 00:14:46,600 --> 00:14:50,230 ANTS, ROACHES, MICE. 284 00:14:53,230 --> 00:14:55,570 "WAIT, MR. DUNCAN," YOU SAY, 285 00:14:55,570 --> 00:14:58,570 "MICE AREN'T INSECTS. THEY ARE..." 286 00:15:00,500 --> 00:15:02,730 ANYBODY? 287 00:15:02,730 --> 00:15:06,100 THAT'S RIGHT. THEY ARE RODENTS. 288 00:15:06,100 --> 00:15:09,030 NOT HERE TO LEARN. 289 00:15:09,030 --> 00:15:12,270 ANYWAY, I'VE BROUGHT ALONG SOME ANIMALS 290 00:15:12,270 --> 00:15:14,530 THAT, ALTHOUGH I'VE NEVER SEEN THEM ON THE JOB, 291 00:15:14,530 --> 00:15:16,200 I COULD QUITE POSSIBLY CATCH 292 00:15:16,200 --> 00:15:19,370 IF WE WERE LIVING IN A DIFFERENT CLIMATE 293 00:15:19,370 --> 00:15:22,200 ON A DIFFERENT CONTINENT. 294 00:15:22,200 --> 00:15:25,230 FOR EXAMPLE... 295 00:15:27,070 --> 00:15:28,470 -LOOK AT THAT GUY. - Kids: OOH! 296 00:15:28,470 --> 00:15:31,370 THAT IS AN EMPEROR SCORPION. 297 00:15:31,370 --> 00:15:35,030 NOW SOME PEOPLE SAY THAT ITS STING IS NO WORSE THAN A BEE'S, 298 00:15:35,030 --> 00:15:38,270 AND OTHERS, WELL, THEY'RE NOT AROUND TO SAY ANYTHING. 299 00:15:38,270 --> 00:15:40,500 ( laughs ) OW! 300 00:15:40,500 --> 00:15:42,170 - ( kids scream ) -( Bob laughs ) 301 00:15:42,170 --> 00:15:45,570 I'M JUST KIDDING. I'M JUST KIDDING. 302 00:15:45,570 --> 00:15:48,370 HEY, YOU THOUGHT THAT WAS COOL, HUH? 303 00:15:48,370 --> 00:15:51,170 WAIT UNTIL YOU CHECK OUT THIS GUY. 304 00:15:54,570 --> 00:15:57,000 WHOA. 305 00:15:57,000 --> 00:15:58,330 LOOK AT HIM, HUH? 306 00:15:58,330 --> 00:16:01,170 THIS IS A CORN SNAKE. 307 00:16:01,170 --> 00:16:03,670 PRETTY COOL, HUH? THAT'S MY DAD. 308 00:16:08,270 --> 00:16:11,200 HELLO, EVERYBODY, WELCOME TO STORY TIME. 309 00:16:11,200 --> 00:16:13,570 MY NAME IS TEDDY, AND TODAY WE HAVE A SPECIAL TREAT. 310 00:16:13,570 --> 00:16:15,270 YOU'RE GONNA HEAR TWO STORIES. 311 00:16:15,270 --> 00:16:17,470 THE FIRST ONE IS WRITTEN BY ME, AND IT'S CALLED 312 00:16:17,470 --> 00:16:20,400 "TIM CAN AND HIS AMAZING JOURNEY." 313 00:16:20,400 --> 00:16:21,670 TIN CAN? 314 00:16:21,670 --> 00:16:24,570 TIM. TIM CAN. 315 00:16:24,570 --> 00:16:28,030 ( clears throat ) ALL RIGHT, NOW BEFORE WE BEGIN, 316 00:16:28,030 --> 00:16:29,430 JUST A REMINDER, AS OF TODAY, 317 00:16:29,430 --> 00:16:32,700 THIS STORY HAS NOT BEEN PUBLISHED. 318 00:16:34,700 --> 00:16:38,230 OKAY. "ONCE UPON A TIME, THERE WAS A LITTLE CAN OF SOUP 319 00:16:38,230 --> 00:16:40,100 AND HIS NAME WAS TIM. 320 00:16:40,100 --> 00:16:44,100 TIM LIVED AT THE GROCERY STORE HOPING SOMEDAY SOMEONE WOULD BUY HIM. 321 00:16:44,100 --> 00:16:46,330 ONE DAY A NICE WOMAN DID. 322 00:16:46,330 --> 00:16:47,770 HER NAME WAS CANDACE." 323 00:16:47,770 --> 00:16:49,630 ( scoffs ) 324 00:16:49,630 --> 00:16:52,470 OH! HEY! THAT'S YOUR NAME. 325 00:16:54,270 --> 00:16:56,470 THAT'S FUNNY. OKAY. 326 00:16:56,470 --> 00:16:58,300 "CANDACE TOOK TIM HOME, 327 00:16:58,300 --> 00:17:00,030 POURED HIS SOUP IN A POT, 328 00:17:00,030 --> 00:17:02,070 THEN TOSSED HIM IN THE RECYCLING BIN. 329 00:17:02,070 --> 00:17:05,170 TIM WAS SAD. 'IS THAT ALL THERE IS?' HE WONDERED." 330 00:17:05,170 --> 00:17:08,170 THAT'S WHAT I'M WONDERING. 331 00:17:13,170 --> 00:17:16,700 POOR PLUMBER, HAVING TO FOLLOW ME. 332 00:17:16,700 --> 00:17:20,430 I GUESS SOMEBODY HAD TO GO ON AFTER ELVIS, RIGHT? 333 00:17:20,430 --> 00:17:23,470 YOU DID GREAT, DAD, AND MORE IMPORTANTLY, 334 00:17:23,470 --> 00:17:25,600 - SO DID YOUR BELT. - YEAH. 335 00:17:25,600 --> 00:17:27,370 GABE, YOUR OLD MAN WASN'T GONNA LET YOU DOWN. 336 00:17:33,200 --> 00:17:35,130 HAVE YOU SEEN THE SCORPION? 337 00:17:35,130 --> 00:17:38,430 - WHAT? YOU LOST A SCORP-- - WAIT WAIT WAIT WAIT. 338 00:17:38,430 --> 00:17:41,300 LET'S JUST FIND IT QUIETLY BY OURSELVES. 339 00:17:41,300 --> 00:17:44,470 ALL RIGHT. SCORPIONS AREN'T POISONOUS, RIGHT? 340 00:17:44,470 --> 00:17:48,200 HOW SHOULD I KNOW? I JUST RENTED IT THIS MORNING. 341 00:17:48,200 --> 00:17:51,300 I THOUGHT I SAW SOMETHING ON TV THAT SAID A SCORPION CAN PARALYZE YOU. 342 00:17:51,300 --> 00:17:53,230 THAT MIGHT HAVE BEEN A NICE THING TO MENTION 343 00:17:53,230 --> 00:17:55,670 BEFORE I LET IT WALK ON ME. 344 00:17:55,670 --> 00:17:58,300 ( screaming ) 345 00:17:58,300 --> 00:18:01,070 I THINK THEY FOUND IT. 346 00:18:01,070 --> 00:18:03,770 "AND AFTER TIM HAD BEEN RECYCLED INTO TIM PIE PLATE 347 00:18:03,770 --> 00:18:05,370 AND TIM ALUMINUM FOIL, 348 00:18:05,370 --> 00:18:08,170 HE WENT BACK TO BEING TIM CAN 349 00:18:08,170 --> 00:18:11,570 AND LIVED HAPPILY EVER AFTER. THE END." 350 00:18:11,570 --> 00:18:13,300 YAY! 351 00:18:13,300 --> 00:18:16,600 WELL, KIDS, WASN'T THAT BETTER THAN "CHEESY AND PEPE PIZZA"? 352 00:18:16,600 --> 00:18:19,200 Kids: YEAH! 353 00:18:19,200 --> 00:18:20,700 Amy: HEY, KIDS, HERE COMES TRASHY! 354 00:18:23,370 --> 00:18:25,300 HEY, EVERYBODY, 355 00:18:25,300 --> 00:18:28,270 I'M TRASHY THE TRASH CAN. 356 00:18:29,530 --> 00:18:31,230 BUT I'M NOT JUST ANY TRASH CAN. 357 00:18:31,230 --> 00:18:33,670 NO, I'M A TRASH CAN THAT GIVES OUT CANDY. 358 00:18:33,670 --> 00:18:35,170 WHOO! 359 00:18:36,570 --> 00:18:39,200 AND THE BEST PART ABOUT TRASHY 360 00:18:39,200 --> 00:18:40,500 IS THAT HE HAS MAGICAL POWERS 361 00:18:40,500 --> 00:18:42,530 SO THAT HE NEVER RUNS OUT OF CANDY. 362 00:18:42,530 --> 00:18:44,570 YEAH, EAT IT UP. YEAH, EAT IT UP. 363 00:18:44,570 --> 00:18:47,770 AND THAT'S THE STORY OF TRASHY THE TRASH CAN. THE END. 364 00:18:47,770 --> 00:18:49,700 THAT'S NOT A STORY. 365 00:18:49,700 --> 00:18:52,670 YOU'RE JUST THROWING CANDY AT THE KIDS SO THEY'LL LIKE YOUR BOOK BETTER. 366 00:18:52,670 --> 00:18:56,030 WELL, LET'S SEE IF IT WORKS. WHO LIKES TRASHY BETTER THAN TIM CAN? 367 00:18:56,030 --> 00:18:57,600 - ME! - Amy:OOH OOH OOH! YEAH YEAH! 368 00:18:57,600 --> 00:18:59,300 -MM-HMM. - OH, YEAH? 369 00:18:59,300 --> 00:19:02,300 WELL, I FORGOT TO TELL YOU ONE THING ABOUT TIM CAN. 370 00:19:02,300 --> 00:19:05,170 HE IS GONNA TAKE ALL OF YOU KIDS IN THE LIBRARY 371 00:19:05,170 --> 00:19:07,200 OUT FOR ICE CREAM. 372 00:19:07,200 --> 00:19:09,170 ( cheering ) 373 00:19:09,170 --> 00:19:11,030 OKAY, EVERYBODY REPEAT AFTER ME. 374 00:19:11,030 --> 00:19:13,100 ( chanting ) TRASHY! TRASHY! TRASHY! 375 00:19:13,100 --> 00:19:15,770 - TIM CAN! TIM CAN! TIM CAN! - TRASHY! TRASHY! TRASHY! 376 00:19:15,770 --> 00:19:17,670 OH, CANDACE, DO YOU WANNA BUY MY STORY? 377 00:19:17,670 --> 00:19:19,170 OR DO YOU WANNA BUYMYSTORY? 378 00:19:19,170 --> 00:19:23,430 WHAT I WANT IS TO FIND A NEW LIBRARY FOR STORY TIME. 379 00:19:25,770 --> 00:19:29,670 GREAT. WHAT AM I SUPPOSED TO DO WITH 500 OF THESE? 380 00:19:38,170 --> 00:19:40,030 AND WHAT SEEMS TO BE THE PROBLEM TONIGHT? 381 00:19:40,030 --> 00:19:42,330 THERE'S NO PROBLEM. EVERYTHING'S GREAT. 382 00:19:42,330 --> 00:19:44,030 AREN'T WE PAST THIS? LET'S DIVE IN. 383 00:19:44,030 --> 00:19:46,270 NO, SERIOUSLY, WE'RE FINE. 384 00:19:46,270 --> 00:19:48,300 WE WORKED OUT ALL OUR ISSUES. 385 00:19:48,300 --> 00:19:49,570 THEN WHY'D YOU ORDER CHICKEN? 386 00:19:49,570 --> 00:19:52,030 BECAUSE WE'RE HUNGRY. 387 00:19:53,200 --> 00:19:54,770 BUT IF YOU GUYS ARE FINE, 388 00:19:54,770 --> 00:19:58,130 THEN I'M JUST THE CHICKEN GUY. 389 00:19:58,130 --> 00:20:01,170 PRETTY MUCH. 390 00:20:01,170 --> 00:20:03,270 THANKS. 391 00:20:03,270 --> 00:20:06,270 KEEP THE CHANGE. 392 00:20:09,200 --> 00:20:12,230 I'LL BE BACK! 393 00:20:12,230 --> 00:20:14,300 I FORGOT YOUR SIDES. 394 00:20:20,330 --> 00:20:22,270 GABE. 395 00:20:23,630 --> 00:20:25,730 CAN I TALK TO YOU FOR A MINUTE? 396 00:20:25,730 --> 00:20:28,170 KINDA BUSY WITH MY STRING CHEESE. 397 00:20:29,500 --> 00:20:32,570 BUDDY, I'M REALLY SORRY ABOUT TODAY. 398 00:20:33,770 --> 00:20:36,000 ALL YOU ASKED ME TO DO WAS NOT EMBARRASS YOU. 399 00:20:36,000 --> 00:20:37,600 AND THAT'S EXACTLY WHAT I DID. 400 00:20:37,600 --> 00:20:39,700 DAD, YOU DIDN'T EMBARRASS ME. 401 00:20:39,700 --> 00:20:42,300 THANKS TO YOU, EVERYBODY LOVES ME. 402 00:20:42,300 --> 00:20:44,170 WHAT? 403 00:20:44,170 --> 00:20:47,630 YEAH, AFTER THE SCORPION STUNG YOU, AND THEN YOU PASSED OUT, 404 00:20:47,630 --> 00:20:49,670 AND THEN MR. TURTLEBAUM TRIED TO SUCK THE POISON OUT OF YOU 405 00:20:49,670 --> 00:20:51,500 AND THEN HE PASSED OUT. 406 00:20:51,500 --> 00:20:52,730 ( laughing ) 407 00:20:53,730 --> 00:20:55,730 WHAT? 408 00:20:55,730 --> 00:20:59,300 IN ALL THE CONFUSION, THE SNAKE GOT LOOSE. 409 00:20:59,300 --> 00:21:01,600 YEAH, BACKUP. TURTLEBAUM DID WHAT? 410 00:21:03,230 --> 00:21:04,730 AND THEN WHILE YOU WERE AT THE HOSPITAL, 411 00:21:04,730 --> 00:21:08,670 THE FIRE DEPARTMENT CAME AND THE WHOLE SCHOOL WAS EVACUATED FOR THE DAY. 412 00:21:08,670 --> 00:21:11,370 I AM A HERO BECAUSE OF YOU. 413 00:21:13,000 --> 00:21:14,370 THANKS, DAD. 414 00:21:16,170 --> 00:21:19,170 NOW I'M GONNA NEED AN ANSWER ON THAT TURTLEBAUM QUESTION. 415 00:21:23,230 --> 00:21:25,330 Well, Charlie, needless to say, 416 00:21:25,330 --> 00:21:27,300 I'm still unpublished, 417 00:21:27,300 --> 00:21:31,130 but the good news is so is Mom. 418 00:21:33,000 --> 00:21:36,200 I think we learned a very important lesson. 419 00:21:36,200 --> 00:21:38,770 I look good even in a trash can. 420 00:21:41,470 --> 00:21:44,000 Well, that's one of the lessons. 421 00:21:44,000 --> 00:21:46,300 - So-- - I just feel so empty, 422 00:21:46,300 --> 00:21:48,470 so abandoned. 423 00:21:50,270 --> 00:21:53,570 I guess it'd be safe to say I feel used. 424 00:21:55,300 --> 00:21:57,300 You know what I'm saying? 425 00:22:01,230 --> 00:22:04,100 Teddy: been here for 10 minutes. 426 00:22:04,100 --> 00:22:05,670 Pay him already. 427 00:22:08,500 --> 00:22:11,030 Hey, see you tomorrow? 428 00:22:14,500 --> 00:22:18,170 Sometimes there's nothing Charlie.say but good luck, 429 00:22:24,700 --> 00:22:27,030 POOR ME. 430 00:22:27,030 --> 00:22:29,030 I DON'T HAVE ANY TOPPINGS, 431 00:22:29,030 --> 00:22:31,070 JUST CHEESE. 432 00:22:31,070 --> 00:22:33,130 YOU'RE A LOSER, CHEESY. 433 00:22:33,130 --> 00:22:36,530 LOOK AT ME, ALL COVERED IN PEPPERONI. 434 00:22:36,530 --> 00:22:40,230 THERE MUST BE SOMETHING GOOD ABOUT BEING SO PLAIN. 435 00:22:40,230 --> 00:22:43,070 OH YEAH, WHEN YOU THINK OF IT, LET ME KNOW. 436 00:22:44,200 --> 00:22:45,470 UH-OH. 437 00:22:45,470 --> 00:22:48,730 PLAIN OLD CHEESE OR DELICIOUS PEPPERONI? 438 00:22:48,730 --> 00:22:51,000 NO! 439 00:22:52,500 --> 00:22:55,770 HUH, I GUESS THERE IS SOMETHING GOOD 440 00:22:55,770 --> 00:22:58,230 ABOUT BEING PLAIN. 441 00:23:01,070 --> 00:23:03,070 IT'D BE A SHAME TO LEAVE JUST ONE. 442 00:23:03,070 --> 00:23:04,500 I WAS AFRAID OF THAT. 32422

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