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1
00:00:26,533 --> 00:00:28,863
♪ City bird ♪
2
00:00:28,865 --> 00:00:31,633
♪ City bird ♪
3
00:00:32,367 --> 00:00:36,398
♪ Fly away from my window ♪
4
00:00:36,400 --> 00:00:39,497
♪ From my window ♪
5
00:00:39,499 --> 00:00:42,733
♪ 'Cause you don't sing ♪
6
00:00:43,599 --> 00:00:47,000
♪ Like the birds from home sing ♪
7
00:00:47,700 --> 00:00:51,467
♪ Your song is dying ♪
8
00:00:53,567 --> 00:00:57,597
♪ After the tower's turned ♪
9
00:00:57,599 --> 00:01:01,931
♪ To a tomb ♪
10
00:01:01,933 --> 00:01:06,497
♪ The underworld refugees all ♪
11
00:01:06,499 --> 00:01:10,632
♪ Were refused by the banker ♪
12
00:01:10,634 --> 00:01:12,834
♪ They could never go in ♪
13
00:01:14,399 --> 00:01:16,868
♪ So I let them in ♪
14
00:01:17,600 --> 00:01:21,198
♪ I light the candle ♪
15
00:01:21,200 --> 00:01:23,497
♪ For the ghosts in my home ♪
16
00:01:23,499 --> 00:01:25,633
♪ My home ♪
17
00:01:26,633 --> 00:01:28,764
♪ And say a prayer
to please send care ♪
18
00:01:28,766 --> 00:01:31,868
♪ For the guests in my home ♪
19
00:01:34,699 --> 00:01:37,564
♪ But in their sleep
they claw and scream ♪
20
00:01:37,566 --> 00:01:38,697
♪ The devil home ♪
21
00:01:38,699 --> 00:01:41,732
♪ The devil's come home ♪
22
00:01:41,734 --> 00:01:44,298
♪ But that nightmare does not compare ♪
23
00:01:44,300 --> 00:01:47,634
♪ To the demons in sleeping alone ♪
24
00:01:50,900 --> 00:01:54,930
♪ After the tower is turned ♪
25
00:01:54,932 --> 00:01:59,398
♪ To a tomb ♪
26
00:01:59,400 --> 00:02:03,763
♪ The underworld refugees all ♪
27
00:02:03,765 --> 00:02:08,330
♪ Were refused by the banker ♪
28
00:02:08,332 --> 00:02:11,330
♪ And with nowhere to go ♪
29
00:02:11,332 --> 00:02:14,931
♪ They wash up on Skid Row ♪
30
00:02:14,933 --> 00:02:22,230
♪ Oh city bird ♪
31
00:07:44,466 --> 00:07:46,699
"The first meal..."
32
00:08:02,532 --> 00:08:04,930
No, no, no, Mr. Atkinson.
33
00:08:04,932 --> 00:08:07,664
I completely understand. I know it's late.
34
00:08:07,666 --> 00:08:09,463
The reason why I'm
actually calling is beca...
35
00:08:09,465 --> 00:08:12,165
I'm literally just walking
from the office now.
36
00:08:12,167 --> 00:08:15,766
Yeah, we got some news in today
that I thought I'd run by you.
37
00:08:16,866 --> 00:08:18,564
Yeah, um...
38
00:08:18,566 --> 00:08:20,198
we got another offer
39
00:08:20,200 --> 00:08:22,000
on the house that you really like.
40
00:08:23,166 --> 00:08:25,566
Yeah, I know, these things
happen all the time, sir.
41
00:08:26,599 --> 00:08:28,463
How are you? All right. Yeah.
42
00:08:28,465 --> 00:08:30,164
Can I get the usual please?
43
00:08:30,166 --> 00:08:33,231
Um, an Italian thin crust pizza.
44
00:08:33,233 --> 00:08:35,297
Pepperoni, obviously.
45
00:08:35,299 --> 00:08:39,766
Um, can you do me that... that
sour cream dip that you guys do?
46
00:08:41,331 --> 00:08:45,466
Yeah, um, one strawberry cheesecake.
47
00:08:47,366 --> 00:08:48,931
Yeah, and, um...
48
00:08:48,933 --> 00:08:52,600
could you throw in like
a cheeky bottle of coke?
49
00:08:53,598 --> 00:08:55,566
Yeah. You letch.
50
00:08:56,498 --> 00:08:58,397
You know my address, yeah?
51
00:08:58,399 --> 00:09:01,067
Okay. All right, then, how
long would that be roughly?
52
00:09:01,900 --> 00:09:04,897
All right. Yeah, no worries.
53
00:09:04,899 --> 00:09:06,500
All right, take care.
54
00:09:28,633 --> 00:09:29,899
Hey.
55
00:09:30,598 --> 00:09:31,867
You all right?
56
00:09:33,499 --> 00:09:35,000
Yeah, how's it going?
57
00:09:37,199 --> 00:09:38,566
Nice.
58
00:09:39,900 --> 00:09:41,897
Yeah, when are you back?
59
00:09:41,899 --> 00:09:43,496
Yeah, no, that shouldn't be a problem.
60
00:09:43,498 --> 00:09:46,166
Let me... write it down.
61
00:09:47,398 --> 00:09:49,330
Yeah, go on.
62
00:09:49,332 --> 00:09:50,700
What was that?
63
00:09:52,365 --> 00:09:55,533
Terminal... 2.
64
00:09:56,232 --> 00:09:58,866
12:22.
65
00:09:59,565 --> 00:10:01,564
Yeah. Not a problem.
66
00:10:01,566 --> 00:10:02,866
I'll be there.
67
00:10:03,565 --> 00:10:05,263
Of course I will.
68
00:10:05,265 --> 00:10:06,565
For you, anything.
69
00:12:34,566 --> 00:12:35,631
What the fuck?
70
00:13:55,866 --> 00:13:57,400
Fuck. Fuck.
71
00:15:45,532 --> 00:15:46,630
No, no, no.
72
00:15:46,632 --> 00:15:47,929
The last thing I'm trying to do, sir,
73
00:15:47,931 --> 00:15:50,464
is to pressure anyone
into making a decision
74
00:15:50,466 --> 00:15:53,197
that they don't want to go through.
75
00:15:53,199 --> 00:15:55,630
Yeah, and 15 percent is the
preferable rate these days,
76
00:15:55,632 --> 00:15:57,863
but I know some vendors that
are willing to offer 10 percent.
77
00:15:57,865 --> 00:16:00,196
And if I'm being completely
honest with you, sir,
78
00:16:00,198 --> 00:16:02,463
I saw you. Your aura...
79
00:16:02,465 --> 00:16:05,730
and... the whole ambiance in the house...
80
00:16:05,732 --> 00:16:08,164
that just connected really well.
81
00:16:08,166 --> 00:16:09,197
So I'll let you sleep on it.
82
00:16:09,199 --> 00:16:10,063
Then you can let me know
83
00:16:10,065 --> 00:16:11,497
what you want to do in the morning.
84
00:16:11,499 --> 00:16:12,832
You have a good night.
85
00:16:37,799 --> 00:16:39,400
Oh, shit.
86
00:16:48,266 --> 00:16:51,363
So... yeah. Listen, man, I need to re-up.
87
00:16:52,431 --> 00:16:54,430
Yeah, quick one.
88
00:16:54,432 --> 00:16:56,399
It's been like two
scores or something, yeah?
89
00:17:02,865 --> 00:17:06,464
That right-wing pussy
telling me to black it up.
90
00:17:06,466 --> 00:17:07,862
Is he mental?
91
00:17:16,666 --> 00:17:21,196
So! So! So!
92
00:17:21,198 --> 00:17:22,530
Your lift stinks.
93
00:17:22,532 --> 00:17:24,665
Shut up, man. That's you
that stinks, not my lift.
94
00:17:25,365 --> 00:17:27,632
Bruv, I mean, it's so quick.
95
00:17:36,632 --> 00:17:38,164
What are you wearing?
96
00:17:38,166 --> 00:17:39,396
What do you mean, what am I wearing?
97
00:17:39,398 --> 00:17:41,163
Why are you dressed like that?
98
00:17:41,165 --> 00:17:42,699
Went to a casting, innit?
99
00:17:43,399 --> 00:17:45,730
Oh, yeah. How did it go?
100
00:17:45,732 --> 00:17:47,929
Bruv, the director,
walks up to me and goes,
101
00:17:47,931 --> 00:17:50,899
"Excuse me, mate, do
you mind blacking it up?"
102
00:17:52,598 --> 00:17:53,764
- What?
- Yeah.
103
00:17:53,766 --> 00:17:55,133
I looked at him and goes,
104
00:17:55,832 --> 00:17:58,297
"How much more black can I get?"
105
00:17:58,299 --> 00:18:00,396
- So, what did you do?
- I had enough of that.
106
00:18:00,398 --> 00:18:02,699
Afterwards, he comes up to me and goes...
107
00:18:03,899 --> 00:18:05,397
"Do you mind adding a 'motherfucker'."
108
00:18:05,399 --> 00:18:07,829
Like, because I'm black
109
00:18:07,831 --> 00:18:09,565
I have to say "motherfucker."
110
00:18:10,398 --> 00:18:11,932
Just racist, innit?
111
00:18:12,832 --> 00:18:14,499
Now, imagine you're at the office...
112
00:18:15,632 --> 00:18:17,563
and someone comes up to you and says.
113
00:18:17,565 --> 00:18:20,666
"Hussein, do you want this bacon sandwich?"
114
00:18:22,332 --> 00:18:23,833
Would you eat it?
115
00:18:25,265 --> 00:18:26,600
Yeah.
116
00:18:27,865 --> 00:18:29,796
'Cause I eat bacon.
117
00:18:29,798 --> 00:18:31,633
Isn't it against your laws?
118
00:18:32,332 --> 00:18:33,666
I mean, yeah...
119
00:18:34,466 --> 00:18:37,364
but I eat pepperoni as well, so...
120
00:18:37,366 --> 00:18:38,796
There's no much difference, innit?
121
00:18:38,798 --> 00:18:40,400
But is it halal, though?
122
00:18:41,231 --> 00:18:43,633
There's no such thing as halal pig.
123
00:18:45,632 --> 00:18:46,999
Halal that.
124
00:18:51,199 --> 00:18:52,600
All right, cool.
125
00:21:14,698 --> 00:21:16,432
Hey, you all right?
126
00:21:17,732 --> 00:21:19,396
What?
127
00:21:19,398 --> 00:21:20,666
Already?
128
00:21:21,366 --> 00:21:22,896
Now, wait a minute.
129
00:21:22,898 --> 00:21:25,696
I thought you said 3 p.m.
130
00:21:25,698 --> 00:21:28,018
That's what I've got written
down. That's what you told me.
131
00:21:29,465 --> 00:21:31,666
Wha... So what are you gonna do?
132
00:21:33,266 --> 00:21:35,800
A-All right, all right,
I'll come now then, won't I?
133
00:21:36,564 --> 00:21:37,862
W-Wha...
134
00:21:37,864 --> 00:21:39,596
Okay. Chill out.
135
00:21:39,598 --> 00:21:41,399
I'll pick you up from the station then.
136
00:21:42,731 --> 00:21:44,429
Yeah.
137
00:21:44,431 --> 00:21:46,264
Hello?
138
00:21:46,266 --> 00:21:47,799
Hello?
139
00:21:48,498 --> 00:21:50,695
For fuck's sake, man.
140
00:21:50,697 --> 00:21:52,766
You told me 3 p.m.
141
00:21:53,632 --> 00:21:54,897
So it's my fault, innit?
142
00:21:54,899 --> 00:21:56,229
I can never do anything right.
143
00:24:14,431 --> 00:24:16,595
- You got me a present?
- No, I didn't get you one.
144
00:24:16,597 --> 00:24:19,197
Why would I get you a present?
145
00:24:19,199 --> 00:24:20,363
Look, I wrote it down on the wall.
146
00:24:20,365 --> 00:24:21,663
- Where?
- On the fridge.
147
00:24:21,665 --> 00:24:23,364
I told you I did. There.
148
00:24:23,366 --> 00:24:25,563
Oh, my God. The hell are...
149
00:24:25,565 --> 00:24:26,729
Oh, my God!
150
00:24:26,731 --> 00:24:28,662
- Whoa, whoa, whoa!
- Oh, my God!
151
00:24:28,664 --> 00:24:31,164
Oh, my God! W... Where did these come from?
152
00:24:31,166 --> 00:24:33,297
- Get rid of them!
- I'm trying to get rid of them!
153
00:24:33,299 --> 00:24:35,139
- Can you give me a towel or something...
- No!
154
00:24:36,266 --> 00:24:38,163
- Come on, man.
- No, I'm scared.
155
00:24:38,165 --> 00:24:40,196
- Well, what am I trying to do?
- Open the door!
156
00:24:40,198 --> 00:24:41,896
I need one. Whoa! Whoa! Whoa!
157
00:24:41,898 --> 00:24:43,462
Give me a towel, quick.
158
00:24:43,464 --> 00:24:45,296
No! Talk to them.
159
00:24:45,298 --> 00:24:48,264
Talk to them? I don't know
how to talk to the pigeons.
160
00:24:48,266 --> 00:24:49,663
Hey, pigeon.
161
00:24:51,631 --> 00:24:52,896
No!
162
00:24:52,898 --> 00:24:54,230
Get off my chair, man.
163
00:24:54,232 --> 00:24:55,462
Get off!
164
00:24:55,464 --> 00:24:56,929
Go! Go! Go!
165
00:24:56,931 --> 00:24:59,362
Man! Oh, they've
shit on my La-Z-Boy.
166
00:24:59,364 --> 00:25:00,798
Fuck, man.
167
00:25:10,331 --> 00:25:12,630
I swear I never left that window open.
168
00:25:12,632 --> 00:25:15,563
Well, you clearly did.
Have you not got any food?
169
00:25:15,565 --> 00:25:16,830
There's loads of food in there.
170
00:25:16,832 --> 00:25:18,362
You haven't even got teabags?
171
00:25:18,364 --> 00:25:19,896
What're you talking about.
I can see two teabags
172
00:25:19,898 --> 00:25:21,263
with my own eyes right there.
173
00:25:21,265 --> 00:25:22,662
- Where?
- On the counter.
174
00:25:22,664 --> 00:25:23,830
They're used.
175
00:25:23,832 --> 00:25:25,763
It's called recycling.
176
00:25:25,765 --> 00:25:26,862
Wow.
177
00:25:26,864 --> 00:25:29,428
I'm not your fucking houseboy.
178
00:25:29,430 --> 00:25:31,663
I'm a professional salesman.
179
00:25:31,665 --> 00:25:34,264
I ain't got time to be
fucking buying food for you.
180
00:25:34,266 --> 00:25:35,530
- So I'll go shop, yeah?
- Yeah.
181
00:25:35,532 --> 00:25:37,362
I think that's a great idea.
182
00:25:37,364 --> 00:25:40,164
Okay, cool. I'll go shop, so
we can eat some food tonight.
183
00:25:40,166 --> 00:25:42,630
- How 'bout that?
- Can you get me some...
184
00:25:42,632 --> 00:25:43,696
chocolate chip cookies?
185
00:25:43,698 --> 00:25:44,999
No, I can't.
186
00:25:54,832 --> 00:25:56,099
Glass of red?
187
00:25:57,166 --> 00:25:58,500
Oh!
188
00:26:14,731 --> 00:26:16,664
Game over.
189
00:26:30,397 --> 00:26:31,866
This is nice.
190
00:26:32,632 --> 00:26:34,432
Came to 35 quid.
191
00:26:36,798 --> 00:26:38,466
What, you're asking for money now?
192
00:26:39,330 --> 00:26:40,831
We said half and half.
193
00:26:41,698 --> 00:26:43,499
Half the bills, half the rent.
194
00:26:46,532 --> 00:26:47,998
I'll pay you tomorrow.
195
00:26:49,498 --> 00:26:51,329
What do you want me to do?
196
00:26:51,331 --> 00:26:53,295
Run out of the house now,
run to the bank or something?
197
00:26:53,297 --> 00:26:54,730
I'm just saying.
198
00:26:54,732 --> 00:26:57,429
And I'm just saying, what if
your food was actually dead.
199
00:26:57,431 --> 00:26:59,630
Okay, cool.
200
00:26:59,632 --> 00:27:02,099
I'm going to bed, yeah?
You can do the washing up.
201
00:28:23,264 --> 00:28:24,929
Breakfast is served.
202
00:28:24,931 --> 00:28:27,196
Morning.
203
00:28:27,198 --> 00:28:28,530
Morning.
204
00:28:28,532 --> 00:28:30,195
- Listen...
- That's nice.
205
00:28:30,197 --> 00:28:31,262
I'm so sorry, yeah?
206
00:28:31,264 --> 00:28:34,296
Don't be sorry. Just be nicer.
207
00:28:34,298 --> 00:28:37,196
I didn't mean to write
the wrong time down, did I?
208
00:28:37,198 --> 00:28:40,096
Yeah, I didn't mean to be a
massive bitch, but fucking hell.
209
00:28:40,098 --> 00:28:42,363
I think I was feeling
hemmed in or something.
210
00:28:42,365 --> 00:28:44,229
My head weren't in the right place.
211
00:28:44,231 --> 00:28:45,799
It's all right. Don't worry about it.
212
00:28:49,564 --> 00:28:51,431
Listen, I was thinking
213
00:28:52,130 --> 00:28:53,262
we should do something today.
214
00:28:53,264 --> 00:28:55,963
- What?
- Like...
215
00:28:55,965 --> 00:28:58,833
- go to the cinema, watch a film.
- Mm.
216
00:28:59,964 --> 00:29:01,230
Go and get some more food.
217
00:29:01,232 --> 00:29:02,596
What food?
218
00:29:02,598 --> 00:29:03,996
Go to the Chicken Shop.
219
00:29:03,998 --> 00:29:05,129
Okay.
220
00:29:05,131 --> 00:29:06,597
- You like the Chicken Shop?
- Yeah.
221
00:29:06,599 --> 00:29:08,200
Then we can come back...
222
00:29:08,930 --> 00:29:10,529
and then I can...
223
00:29:10,531 --> 00:29:12,531
What's that?
224
00:29:13,365 --> 00:29:15,028
What's that?
225
00:29:15,030 --> 00:29:16,396
- It's the...
- What?
226
00:29:16,398 --> 00:29:18,963
- The Slider.
- The Slider.
227
00:29:18,965 --> 00:29:20,496
Yeah, it's time for the Slider.
228
00:29:20,498 --> 00:29:22,529
You need to work on your moves.
229
00:29:22,531 --> 00:29:24,229
You know I can always use the Slider.
230
00:29:24,231 --> 00:29:25,862
You need to work on your Slider.
231
00:29:25,864 --> 00:29:27,195
Your Slider's dead.
232
00:29:27,197 --> 00:29:29,029
- You said the Slider was good.
- Mmm.
233
00:29:29,031 --> 00:29:30,529
That's not what you were saying.
234
00:29:30,531 --> 00:29:32,395
I faked it.
235
00:29:32,397 --> 00:29:34,162
What?
236
00:29:34,164 --> 00:29:35,263
You faked it?
237
00:29:35,265 --> 00:29:37,096
I'm so sorry.
238
00:29:37,098 --> 00:29:39,128
Stop it.
239
00:29:39,130 --> 00:29:41,162
- Were you faking that now as well?
- Yeah.
240
00:29:41,164 --> 00:29:43,330
Yeah, but that's different.
That's tickling me.
241
00:29:43,332 --> 00:29:46,029
Oh! You're meant to be nice.
242
00:29:46,031 --> 00:29:47,597
- I'm being nice.
- No, you're not.
243
00:29:47,599 --> 00:29:49,496
- I am.
- No, you're not. You're being...
244
00:29:50,330 --> 00:29:52,330
- Do you wanna be any louder?
- Yeah.
245
00:29:52,332 --> 00:29:54,429
I'll fucking scream the place down.
246
00:29:54,431 --> 00:29:56,128
You're meant to be nice to me.
247
00:29:58,998 --> 00:30:00,596
Stop it. I don't
like it when you play.
248
00:30:01,931 --> 00:30:03,396
Mmm.
249
00:30:03,398 --> 00:30:05,195
You said my Slider was dead.
250
00:30:05,197 --> 00:30:08,096
- Dead.
- No...
251
00:30:08,098 --> 00:30:09,895
Fine, I ain't
gonna bring out the Slider.
252
00:30:09,897 --> 00:30:11,363
No, I'm joking.
253
00:30:11,365 --> 00:30:12,928
I'll give you The Brown Hammer.
254
00:30:12,930 --> 00:30:16,498
The Brown Hammer...
255
00:30:24,130 --> 00:30:27,195
♪ I know you and you know
me and I know you, yeah ♪
256
00:30:27,197 --> 00:30:30,028
♪ That's my other half,
she stick to me like glue ♪
257
00:30:30,030 --> 00:30:31,263
What are you doing?
258
00:30:31,265 --> 00:30:33,263
- I didn't do that on purpose.
- Don't lie.
259
00:30:33,265 --> 00:30:34,230
Don't get ugly.
260
00:30:34,232 --> 00:30:36,062
What if my head was to
crack into that door.
261
00:30:36,064 --> 00:30:37,395
Oh, you're so dramatic.
262
00:30:37,397 --> 00:30:39,162
You wouldn't be living
in this amazing flat then.
263
00:30:39,164 --> 00:30:41,162
- You do know that, right?
- Are you serious?
264
00:30:41,164 --> 00:30:42,665
This place ain't amazing?
265
00:30:43,564 --> 00:30:44,963
- Mmm, it's all right.
- What?
266
00:30:44,965 --> 00:30:46,230
It'll do.
267
00:30:46,232 --> 00:30:47,563
So what would you change about it then?
268
00:30:47,565 --> 00:30:50,095
I'd get some plants in,
I'd get some candles in,
269
00:30:50,097 --> 00:30:51,396
I'd get some quotes.
270
00:30:51,398 --> 00:30:53,128
Quotes, all right. Quotes I can work with.
271
00:30:53,130 --> 00:30:54,262
- Yeah?
- Yeah. All right.
272
00:30:54,264 --> 00:30:55,597
We can do that. Can you, um...
273
00:30:55,599 --> 00:30:56,863
help me when you're done.
274
00:30:56,865 --> 00:30:58,430
Yeah,
275
00:30:58,432 --> 00:31:00,028
I can.
276
00:31:00,030 --> 00:31:02,096
What time are you home tonight?
277
00:31:02,098 --> 00:31:04,928
Um, probably later than usual
278
00:31:04,930 --> 00:31:06,230
- because...
- What?
279
00:31:06,232 --> 00:31:08,299
I've got to impress my first day back.
280
00:31:09,131 --> 00:31:10,563
But you said tonight we're gonna...
281
00:31:10,565 --> 00:31:11,496
What?
282
00:31:11,498 --> 00:31:13,928
- Put you against the wall.
- Yeah, we can,
283
00:31:13,930 --> 00:31:15,430
but I'm just gonna have to be later.
284
00:31:15,432 --> 00:31:16,262
All right.
285
00:31:16,264 --> 00:31:18,395
You better sell five houses today.
286
00:31:18,397 --> 00:31:19,862
- Five?
- Yeah.
287
00:31:19,864 --> 00:31:21,196
I mean, I got twelve lined up already.
288
00:31:21,198 --> 00:31:22,463
Oh, you're so full of it.
289
00:32:57,431 --> 00:32:59,329
Take these off.
290
00:33:02,897 --> 00:33:04,929
Come, then. Show me what you've got.
291
00:33:04,931 --> 00:33:06,063
Show you what I've got?
292
00:33:06,065 --> 00:33:07,362
- Oh, it's like that now?
- Yeah.
293
00:33:07,364 --> 00:33:09,062
- It's competition time?
- Yeah.
294
00:33:09,064 --> 00:33:10,530
- Last time that happened...
- Mmm.
295
00:33:10,532 --> 00:33:11,863
I'm sure I won.
296
00:33:11,865 --> 00:33:13,398
- Really?
- Yeah.
297
00:33:25,065 --> 00:33:26,399
Mmm.
298
00:33:30,064 --> 00:33:32,264
- Hello.
- Mmm.
299
00:33:32,964 --> 00:33:34,331
Hello.
300
00:33:40,365 --> 00:33:42,531
What's going on? Why is it not...
301
00:33:43,231 --> 00:33:45,098
Oh, for fuck's sake.
302
00:33:47,064 --> 00:33:48,731
It's all right. Don't worry about it.
303
00:33:49,464 --> 00:33:51,229
Why are you so ugly?
304
00:33:51,231 --> 00:33:53,711
It's all right. You ain't got
to be Mr. Lova Lova all the time.
305
00:33:55,198 --> 00:33:56,596
- All the time?
- Yeah.
306
00:33:56,598 --> 00:33:58,195
- It's fine.
- Of course I have to.
307
00:33:58,197 --> 00:34:00,528
No, you don't, man. It happens.
308
00:34:00,530 --> 00:34:02,496
And when is the last
time this happened to me?
309
00:34:02,498 --> 00:34:04,862
Before I went on a holiday.
310
00:34:04,864 --> 00:34:07,296
There's been so many times we're about
to have sex and you can't get it up.
311
00:34:07,298 --> 00:34:08,561
So what? All this is my fault?
312
00:34:08,563 --> 00:34:10,564
No, I'm just saying it's probably the weed.
313
00:34:11,897 --> 00:34:13,229
Messes with your libido, innit?
314
00:34:13,231 --> 00:34:14,629
- It's not the weed.
- It's not the weed, no?
315
00:34:14,631 --> 00:34:16,629
- Nah, it's not the weed.
- What is it then?
316
00:34:16,631 --> 00:34:18,629
It's you.
317
00:34:18,631 --> 00:34:20,028
It's your fault. It's not my fault.
318
00:34:20,030 --> 00:34:21,398
Why would it be my fault?
319
00:34:22,097 --> 00:34:23,562
'Cause you got a flat arse.
320
00:34:23,564 --> 00:34:25,096
That's why.
321
00:34:25,098 --> 00:34:26,532
How else can I not get it up?
322
00:34:27,264 --> 00:34:29,028
There's nothing even there, man.
323
00:34:29,030 --> 00:34:30,896
Cool.
324
00:34:30,898 --> 00:34:32,395
Prick.
325
00:35:10,898 --> 00:35:12,698
I feel like dog shit, man.
326
00:35:13,464 --> 00:35:15,199
Well, you look like dog shit.
327
00:35:18,897 --> 00:35:19,996
What?
328
00:35:19,998 --> 00:35:22,095
- That's funny?
- Yeah.
329
00:35:22,097 --> 00:35:24,929
You're such a pussy. Man
up. Grow some balls, man.
330
00:35:24,931 --> 00:35:26,331
Man-flu?
331
00:35:35,496 --> 00:35:37,528
- Have you seen my diamond tiepin?
- No.
332
00:35:37,530 --> 00:35:39,163
- What do you mean no?
- I mean no.
333
00:35:39,165 --> 00:35:40,832
We all great, innit?
334
00:35:43,098 --> 00:35:45,198
Shut up, man.
335
00:35:47,331 --> 00:35:49,164
So rude.
336
00:36:43,197 --> 00:36:45,098
Where is it? Oh.
337
00:37:27,264 --> 00:37:29,531
"Big monster dick."
338
00:37:30,330 --> 00:37:32,797
"Big monster dick."
339
00:37:34,030 --> 00:37:37,465
"Soldier in my Ass."
340
00:37:43,065 --> 00:37:47,664
"Suck My Nine Inch in a Gloryhole."
341
00:37:52,564 --> 00:37:54,630
"Monkeys in the Shower."
342
00:37:58,965 --> 00:38:01,098
"Cock-a-cock."
343
00:39:50,097 --> 00:39:52,161
- Oh, that's funny?
- That's not me.
344
00:39:52,163 --> 00:39:53,863
So, what is this? Why is it cut?
345
00:39:53,865 --> 00:39:55,194
I don't know.
346
00:39:55,196 --> 00:39:56,129
I left this morning, Mel.
347
00:39:56,131 --> 00:39:57,862
I found out mid-day whilst I was at work
348
00:39:57,864 --> 00:39:59,362
walking around like a fucking dickhead.
349
00:39:59,364 --> 00:40:01,429
Oh, there's no change
there. Is there, Hussein?
350
00:40:01,431 --> 00:40:02,995
Come on, Mel, man. I'm being serious.
351
00:40:02,997 --> 00:40:04,229
So am I, being serious.
352
00:40:04,231 --> 00:40:05,394
- No, you're not.
- Yes, I am.
353
00:40:05,396 --> 00:40:07,029
- And what about my phone?
- What's... What?
354
00:40:07,031 --> 00:40:08,529
- What did you do to it?
- What do you mean?
355
00:40:08,531 --> 00:40:10,261
I put it on charge last night next to you.
356
00:40:10,263 --> 00:40:12,062
- Okay, cool.
- That's not funny.
357
00:40:12,064 --> 00:40:14,862
I walked out this morning, and
it was fucking zero percent.
358
00:40:14,864 --> 00:40:17,295
- Okay, what about my laptop?
- What about your laptop?
359
00:40:17,297 --> 00:40:19,362
Why is there porn on my laptop?
360
00:40:19,364 --> 00:40:21,329
- I don't know.
- You've been watching porn on my laptop?
361
00:40:21,331 --> 00:40:22,394
- No!
- No?
362
00:40:22,396 --> 00:40:23,494
- No!
- Okay.
363
00:40:23,496 --> 00:40:25,862
I don't watch porn on your laptop.
364
00:40:25,864 --> 00:40:29,361
Okay, so you're telling me, Hussein, that.
365
00:40:29,363 --> 00:40:31,261
"Soldier in My Arse" isn't you?
366
00:40:31,263 --> 00:40:33,162
- What?
- You've been watching gay porn on my laptop?
367
00:40:33,164 --> 00:40:34,561
- No, I haven't.
- I took this to work today.
368
00:40:34,563 --> 00:40:36,162
You know my boss, he saw that today.
369
00:40:36,164 --> 00:40:38,195
It's disgusting. It's actually rank.
370
00:40:38,197 --> 00:40:39,996
- Mel.
- What?
371
00:40:39,998 --> 00:40:41,529
I haven't been watching
gay porn on your laptop.
372
00:40:41,531 --> 00:40:43,195
What else has been
watching porn on my laptop?
373
00:40:43,197 --> 00:40:45,863
Why... Who else lives here?
374
00:40:45,865 --> 00:40:47,628
- Don't ask me dumb questions.
- Who else lives here?
375
00:40:47,630 --> 00:40:49,562
- No one.
- Okay, so just you and me live here, yeah?
376
00:40:49,564 --> 00:40:51,863
- Yeah.
- So you're telling me that somehow
377
00:40:51,865 --> 00:40:54,095
a ghost is watching porn on my laptop?
378
00:40:54,097 --> 00:40:56,995
- I don't know what "Solider in My Arse" is.
- Is that what turns you on?
379
00:40:56,997 --> 00:40:59,561
Is that what turns you on? You
know, it actually makes sense.
380
00:40:59,563 --> 00:41:01,128
That's why you can't get it up, ain't it?
381
00:41:01,130 --> 00:41:02,529
'Cause you like dick.
382
00:41:02,531 --> 00:41:03,996
Mel.
383
00:41:03,998 --> 00:41:05,494
I haven't been watching
gay porn on your laptop.
384
00:41:05,496 --> 00:41:06,764
And what the hell is this?
385
00:41:09,564 --> 00:41:11,495
- They're your knickers.
- Yeah, what's that?
386
00:41:11,497 --> 00:41:13,094
- Ugh! I don't know.
- It's your cum.
387
00:41:13,096 --> 00:41:15,028
- No, that's not.
- Yes, it is your cum.
388
00:41:15,030 --> 00:41:16,863
Why're you wanking over my knickers for?
389
00:41:16,865 --> 00:41:19,028
- You've been trying...
- That's nasty, Mel. I would not do that.
390
00:41:19,030 --> 00:41:20,629
I can't believe I
actually let you touch me.
391
00:41:20,631 --> 00:41:23,095
- It wasn't me. I didn't do anything.
- Whatever.
392
00:41:23,097 --> 00:41:24,596
- Why don't you ever understand?
- You're sick!
393
00:41:24,598 --> 00:41:26,099
You never listen.
394
00:42:28,598 --> 00:42:30,362
Oh, my God!
395
00:42:30,364 --> 00:42:31,462
- Hussein.
- Yeah.
396
00:42:31,464 --> 00:42:33,395
- Come flush the toilet.
- What?
397
00:42:33,397 --> 00:42:34,495
Flush the toilet.
398
00:42:34,497 --> 00:42:35,529
Why? I never used it.
399
00:42:35,531 --> 00:42:37,228
- Yes, you did.
- No, I didn't.
400
00:42:37,230 --> 00:42:38,895
You've done a shit, and
you've not flushed it.
401
00:42:38,897 --> 00:42:40,194
It's disgusting. Flush it.
402
00:42:40,196 --> 00:42:41,628
- I haven't shit yet.
- I'm not flushing that.
403
00:42:41,630 --> 00:42:43,162
What? Oh!
404
00:42:43,164 --> 00:42:45,461
- That's nasty.
- Yeah, it's nasty. Flush it.
405
00:42:45,463 --> 00:42:47,231
- It's not mine.
- It's not mine.
406
00:42:48,197 --> 00:42:50,628
- What do you want me to do?
- What are you lying?
407
00:42:50,630 --> 00:42:53,061
- I'm not lying.
- Yes, you are lying.
408
00:42:53,063 --> 00:42:56,328
- No, I'm not.
- And I guess you never used this, no?
409
00:42:56,330 --> 00:42:58,596
- No.
- This is my shampoo. You know that, right?
410
00:42:58,598 --> 00:43:00,194
- Yes.
- Cost me 40 pounds.
411
00:43:00,196 --> 00:43:01,963
It's empty.
412
00:43:01,965 --> 00:43:03,128
I've got my own shampoo.
413
00:43:03,130 --> 00:43:04,628
So use your own in the future.
414
00:43:04,630 --> 00:43:06,329
- I do...
- This is empty.
415
00:43:06,331 --> 00:43:09,462
This cost me 40 quid. You're so selfish.
416
00:43:09,464 --> 00:43:11,295
It's probably you overusing it.
417
00:43:11,297 --> 00:43:13,331
No, I haven't used it yet.
418
00:43:14,030 --> 00:43:15,531
All right.
419
00:43:17,463 --> 00:43:20,027
I can't even use that shampoo anyway.
420
00:43:20,029 --> 00:43:21,428
It don't even work in my head.
421
00:43:21,430 --> 00:43:22,862
I can't use that shampoo...
422
00:43:22,864 --> 00:43:24,561
I don't care whether
you can't use it or not.
423
00:43:24,563 --> 00:43:26,528
- I didn't do it.
- You're a compulsive liar, you know that?
424
00:43:26,530 --> 00:43:28,329
- I'm not lying.
- Yes, you are.
425
00:43:28,331 --> 00:43:30,461
You don't know the difference
between reality and a lie anymore.
426
00:43:30,463 --> 00:43:32,028
I didn't take a shit, and
I didn't use your shampoo.
427
00:43:32,030 --> 00:43:35,128
When are you gonna take these fucking
make-believe images out of your head?
428
00:43:35,130 --> 00:43:36,895
- It's not make-believe.
- Yes, it is make-believe.
429
00:43:36,897 --> 00:43:37,995
- No, it's not.
- It really is.
430
00:43:37,997 --> 00:43:39,863
- No, it's not.
- I haven't done it!
431
00:43:39,865 --> 00:43:42,261
I'm worried. You got
something wrong in your head.
432
00:43:42,263 --> 00:43:43,863
- Really? You think I'm mental?
- Yeah.
433
00:43:43,865 --> 00:43:45,261
You got bipolar or something.
434
00:43:45,263 --> 00:43:46,664
- You think I got bipolar?
- Yeah.
435
00:43:47,564 --> 00:43:49,328
You're a selfish asshole sometimes.
436
00:43:49,330 --> 00:43:50,528
- I'm selfish?
- Yeah.
437
00:43:50,530 --> 00:43:51,628
- Me?
- Yeah.
438
00:43:51,630 --> 00:43:53,027
When all I've done over these whole
439
00:43:53,029 --> 00:43:55,027
past few years is care for you.
440
00:43:55,029 --> 00:43:56,462
- Really?
- Yeah.
441
00:43:56,464 --> 00:43:58,261
- I've never not cared for you?
- And I've loved you.
442
00:43:58,263 --> 00:43:59,927
Yeah, have I loved you?
443
00:43:59,929 --> 00:44:02,061
- And I've allowed you to stay in this place.
- Ah, cool.
444
00:44:02,063 --> 00:44:03,562
- You've allowed me to stay in here, yeah?
- Yeah.
445
00:44:03,564 --> 00:44:06,195
Yeah, you've allowed me to
stay in here like I'm a burden?
446
00:44:06,197 --> 00:44:07,895
- How dare you?
- Is it not the truth?
447
00:44:07,897 --> 00:44:11,561
Whether it's the truth or
not, Hussein, how dare you!
448
00:44:11,563 --> 00:44:15,028
I stayed here 'cause I wanted to stay
here, not 'cause I needed to stay here.
449
00:44:15,030 --> 00:44:17,895
What, you think you're some amazing
estate agent, yeah? You're not.
450
00:44:17,897 --> 00:44:19,461
You're a little pussy, all right?
451
00:44:19,463 --> 00:44:21,428
Know that. I'm done.
452
00:44:21,430 --> 00:44:24,528
- You do that all the time.
- Do what? What do I do? What do I do?
453
00:44:24,530 --> 00:44:26,295
Just step away from the problem.
454
00:44:26,297 --> 00:44:28,531
You are the problem, Hussein.
455
00:44:32,296 --> 00:44:34,297
I think you should get ready for work.
456
00:44:36,996 --> 00:44:39,564
I won't be here when
you get back. I'm done.
457
00:44:41,964 --> 00:44:43,498
Cool.
458
00:44:48,897 --> 00:44:50,895
Don't call me and don't come
back knocking on my door.
459
00:44:50,897 --> 00:44:52,894
I ain't gonna call you.
460
00:44:52,896 --> 00:44:54,831
You fucking always do.
461
00:45:23,598 --> 00:45:26,131
Bon voyage.
462
00:47:17,164 --> 00:47:18,861
Oh, man!
463
00:47:18,863 --> 00:47:20,497
What the fuck is that?
464
00:47:22,597 --> 00:47:24,230
Ugh!
465
00:47:26,030 --> 00:47:28,062
So, what are you telling me?
466
00:47:28,064 --> 00:47:29,397
You've got a ghost?
467
00:47:30,863 --> 00:47:32,630
A ghost who shits.
468
00:47:33,564 --> 00:47:37,361
Well, how else do you explain it then, man?
469
00:47:37,363 --> 00:47:40,628
I don't know. I think your
bra is too tight or something.
470
00:47:40,630 --> 00:47:42,294
I don't wear a bra.
471
00:47:42,296 --> 00:47:44,961
I'm telling you, it was all her.
472
00:47:44,963 --> 00:47:46,395
I hear you.
473
00:47:46,397 --> 00:47:48,298
But you didn't see the size of...
474
00:47:48,996 --> 00:47:50,395
what I saw.
475
00:47:50,397 --> 00:47:52,561
It was a man's work, you know.
476
00:47:52,563 --> 00:47:54,628
Like a builder's work.
Know what I'm saying?
477
00:47:54,630 --> 00:47:56,461
Yeah, that's exactly what I said, bruv.
478
00:47:56,463 --> 00:47:58,561
You fucking dodged a
bullet with that one, mate.
479
00:47:58,563 --> 00:48:01,861
I told her. I actually told her...
480
00:48:01,863 --> 00:48:03,529
I laid down the plan.
481
00:48:03,531 --> 00:48:06,629
She was crying. Tears
running down her eyes.
482
00:48:06,631 --> 00:48:08,994
- Yeah?
- You know...
483
00:48:08,996 --> 00:48:11,895
"No, what? No, Hussein, don't do this.
484
00:48:11,897 --> 00:48:14,094
We can still be together."
485
00:48:14,096 --> 00:48:16,262
- Hmm.
- "Let's stay friends."
486
00:48:16,264 --> 00:48:17,361
Stay friends!
487
00:48:17,363 --> 00:48:19,961
- "I'll change." Fuck off!
- Fuck that.
488
00:48:19,963 --> 00:48:21,529
I got my life back now, innit?
489
00:48:21,531 --> 00:48:23,295
I'm a free man.
490
00:48:23,297 --> 00:48:25,095
- With the girls.
- Yeah, you're right.
491
00:48:25,097 --> 00:48:27,028
Yeah. You're right.
492
00:48:27,030 --> 00:48:31,198
And all you need to do now
is to stop looking like shit.
493
00:51:23,997 --> 00:51:25,829
Hello, Gerry.
494
00:51:25,831 --> 00:51:28,495
Yeah, mate. Um...
495
00:51:28,497 --> 00:51:29,960
Yeah, no, I'm not good, man.
496
00:51:29,962 --> 00:51:32,494
Listen, I've been meaning to ring you, man.
497
00:51:32,496 --> 00:51:35,629
Yeah, I'm iller than a
motherfucker right now, mate.
498
00:51:36,962 --> 00:51:39,628
Yeah, I can send you the schedule.
499
00:51:39,630 --> 00:51:40,931
Hm...
500
00:51:41,930 --> 00:51:44,764
Mmh, mmh...
501
00:51:58,731 --> 00:52:01,561
But I never even ordered one of these, man.
502
00:52:01,563 --> 00:52:04,328
Yeah, well, I dunno. Must be
a gift or something, innit?
503
00:52:04,330 --> 00:52:06,295
- A gift?
- Yeah.
504
00:52:06,297 --> 00:52:08,027
Who gets a freezer as a gift, mate?
505
00:52:08,029 --> 00:52:09,629
That's not our problem, is it?
506
00:52:09,631 --> 00:52:11,428
Look, if you don't want it, fair enough.
507
00:52:11,430 --> 00:52:12,893
But if you want to have it taken back,
508
00:52:12,895 --> 00:52:14,828
you're gonna have to
contact the depot yourself.
509
00:52:14,830 --> 00:52:18,498
- What?
- Yeah, you shouldn't have signed for it if you didn't want it.
510
00:52:29,396 --> 00:52:31,097
So immature, Mel.
511
00:52:34,396 --> 00:52:36,730
Oh, for fuck's sake, man.
512
00:52:37,464 --> 00:52:39,462
Hold on, what?
513
00:52:39,464 --> 00:52:42,030
What the fuck are you talking
about? Quilted for softness.
514
00:52:42,963 --> 00:52:44,698
Quilted for softness?
515
00:52:45,731 --> 00:52:48,262
You asked me for tissue,
and I gave you tissue.
516
00:52:48,264 --> 00:52:50,184
You're lucky I didn't
give you fucking sandpaper.
517
00:52:51,631 --> 00:52:53,527
No, man, I know. I'm grateful.
518
00:52:53,529 --> 00:52:55,395
Don't be grateful.
519
00:52:55,397 --> 00:52:56,893
Be embarrassed.
520
00:52:56,895 --> 00:52:58,196
Be ashamed.
521
00:53:00,963 --> 00:53:03,130
Listen, you staying for a puff or what?
522
00:53:04,297 --> 00:53:05,927
You what? What, share your joint?
523
00:53:05,929 --> 00:53:07,698
Yeah.
524
00:53:08,429 --> 00:53:10,960
And catch your herpes.
525
00:53:10,962 --> 00:53:13,428
Bruv, I rather eat onions.
526
00:53:13,430 --> 00:53:15,661
Look, I'm not doing
this bullshit again, man.
527
00:53:15,663 --> 00:53:17,697
I'm a busy man, you know?
528
00:53:18,597 --> 00:53:19,893
Yeah, I know you are but like I said,
529
00:53:19,895 --> 00:53:21,327
it was an emergency, wasn't it?
530
00:53:21,329 --> 00:53:23,028
- That why I needed you, bruv.
- Yeah.
531
00:53:23,030 --> 00:53:25,828
But, you know, when you get
yourself back on your feet, yeah,
532
00:53:25,830 --> 00:53:27,563
you owe me.
533
00:53:28,396 --> 00:53:31,294
Yeah. I'm starting to get better anyway.
534
00:53:31,296 --> 00:53:32,893
Look, I'm going to give
you some advice, yeah?
535
00:53:32,895 --> 00:53:34,530
You're gonna listen?
536
00:53:35,297 --> 00:53:36,931
Look up at the stars...
537
00:53:37,630 --> 00:53:39,064
and not at your feet.
538
00:53:40,330 --> 00:53:42,362
And try to make sense
539
00:53:42,364 --> 00:53:43,698
of what you see...
540
00:53:44,429 --> 00:53:46,427
and wonder...
541
00:53:46,429 --> 00:53:49,663
what really makes this universe exist.
542
00:53:52,530 --> 00:53:54,064
Be curious.
543
00:53:54,763 --> 00:53:57,597
Yeah, yeah. You're right, man.
544
00:53:58,497 --> 00:53:59,960
I need to be more.
545
00:53:59,962 --> 00:54:01,897
What the fuck is that, anyway?
546
00:54:04,529 --> 00:54:05,830
That.
547
00:54:07,996 --> 00:54:09,663
That's a freezer.
548
00:54:26,264 --> 00:54:28,727
♪ Strangers in the night ♪
549
00:54:28,729 --> 00:54:31,794
♪ Exchanging glances ♪
550
00:54:31,796 --> 00:54:34,528
♪ Wondering in the night ♪
551
00:54:34,530 --> 00:54:37,231
♪ What were the chances ♪
552
00:54:37,930 --> 00:54:40,027
♪ La-la-la da-da ♪
553
00:54:40,029 --> 00:54:41,960
♪ La-la da-da ♪
554
00:54:41,962 --> 00:54:44,264
♪ La-da ♪
555
00:54:47,695 --> 00:54:50,828
♪ Something in your eyes ♪
556
00:54:50,830 --> 00:54:53,798
♪ Was so exciting ♪
557
00:54:54,497 --> 00:54:57,295
♪ Something in your smile ♪
558
00:54:57,297 --> 00:55:00,594
♪ Was so inviting ♪
559
00:55:00,596 --> 00:55:02,930
♪ La da-da-da-da ♪
560
00:55:04,029 --> 00:55:07,261
Come on, Mel. Just answer your phone, man.
561
00:55:07,263 --> 00:55:08,661
Please.
562
00:55:08,663 --> 00:55:09,961
I just wanna talk to you.
563
00:55:09,963 --> 00:55:13,794
♪ La-la-la da-da ♪
564
00:55:13,796 --> 00:55:15,861
♪ La-la-da-da ♪
565
00:55:15,863 --> 00:55:17,897
Ring me back when you can, yeah?
566
00:55:18,596 --> 00:55:19,860
I miss you.
567
00:56:55,895 --> 00:56:57,963
What the fuck?
568
00:56:58,896 --> 00:57:00,964
I need one as soon as possible.
569
00:57:01,896 --> 00:57:05,427
Yeah, um, preferably today.
570
00:57:05,429 --> 00:57:08,029
Yeah. No, sorry, it's
an emergency, you see?
571
00:57:09,464 --> 00:57:10,964
One second.
572
00:57:13,364 --> 00:57:14,760
All right, Gerry, mate.
573
00:57:14,762 --> 00:57:16,295
Look, I can't really talk right now, man.
574
00:57:16,297 --> 00:57:17,564
I'm a bit busy.
575
00:57:21,563 --> 00:57:22,995
What?
576
00:57:22,997 --> 00:57:24,560
Hold on a minute.
577
00:57:24,562 --> 00:57:25,961
What are you talking about?
578
00:57:25,963 --> 00:57:27,964
I sent you the full schedule yesterday.
579
00:57:30,397 --> 00:57:33,498
Warning? You're gonna give me a warning?
580
00:57:34,563 --> 00:57:36,395
No, cool. No, it's fine, Gerry.
581
00:57:36,397 --> 00:57:38,362
It's all right. Go on,
give me a warning, innit?
582
00:57:38,364 --> 00:57:39,827
'Cause I let you know, yeah?
583
00:57:39,829 --> 00:57:42,694
That warning ain't gonna be
as bad as chemotherapy, is it?
584
00:57:42,696 --> 00:57:44,694
No, and just in case you wondered
585
00:57:44,696 --> 00:57:47,362
it's terminal as well.
586
00:57:47,364 --> 00:57:50,261
So, sorry if I got some other
things on my mind, mate, yeah?
587
00:57:50,263 --> 00:57:51,664
Fucking prick.
588
00:58:03,662 --> 00:58:05,760
A million and 50.
589
00:58:05,762 --> 00:58:07,295
A million and 10.
590
00:58:07,297 --> 00:58:08,563
A million and 20.
591
00:58:09,962 --> 00:58:11,294
Gerry.
592
00:58:11,296 --> 00:58:12,897
What are you doing here?
593
00:58:14,997 --> 00:58:17,264
What is that?
594
00:58:19,729 --> 00:58:21,264
It's a cock.
595
00:58:22,562 --> 00:58:25,262
- It is disgusting.
- Yeah, I know.
596
00:58:25,264 --> 00:58:27,960
- Are you sure it's not yours?
- It's not mine.
597
00:58:27,962 --> 00:58:29,694
But why are you looking at me like that?
598
00:58:29,696 --> 00:58:31,594
It certainly ain't mine.
599
00:58:31,596 --> 00:58:32,964
Have you seen it?
600
00:58:33,663 --> 00:58:35,361
It's white.
601
00:58:35,363 --> 00:58:36,495
Whose cock is it then?
602
00:58:36,497 --> 00:58:38,460
How the fuck am I meant
to know whose cock that is?
603
00:58:38,462 --> 00:58:40,361
It was sent from your phone. They all were.
604
00:58:40,363 --> 00:58:42,263
Well, my phone must have got nicked then.
605
00:58:42,962 --> 00:58:44,693
I spoke to you this morning.
606
00:58:44,695 --> 00:58:46,561
Yeah, and it must have
been in the afternoon.
607
00:58:46,563 --> 00:58:48,660
After I came out of the doctor's.
608
00:58:48,662 --> 00:58:50,995
That's it. My phone got
nicked in the afternoon,
609
00:58:50,997 --> 00:58:52,593
and they got sent.
610
00:58:52,595 --> 00:58:54,264
Why? When... when were they sent to you?
611
00:58:55,030 --> 00:58:57,361
- This afternoon.
- Hah! There we go.
612
00:58:57,363 --> 00:58:58,893
Makes sense, don't it?
613
00:59:04,329 --> 00:59:05,995
Oh dear. What is that?
614
00:59:09,329 --> 00:59:10,894
Look, Gerry, man...
615
00:59:10,896 --> 00:59:13,763
- I swear, I didn't mean to lie.
- Save it.
616
00:59:14,629 --> 00:59:15,994
You're fired.
617
00:59:15,996 --> 00:59:17,461
Effective immediately.
618
00:59:17,463 --> 00:59:19,494
- No, you can't do that.
- I just did.
619
01:01:11,263 --> 01:01:12,761
You better not be lying this time,
620
01:01:12,763 --> 01:01:14,960
or I swear to God.
621
01:01:14,962 --> 01:01:16,494
Yeah, well, of course I'm gonna ask you.
622
01:01:16,496 --> 01:01:18,597
You're the only person who
had access to my wallet.
623
01:01:19,296 --> 01:01:20,360
So it wasn't you
624
01:01:20,362 --> 01:01:21,727
who ordered this massive freezer
625
01:01:21,729 --> 01:01:23,696
that just sitting in my
living room right now?
626
01:01:24,729 --> 01:01:26,526
So, Mr. Hussein,
627
01:01:26,528 --> 01:01:28,894
new lock, bolts, and chain.
628
01:01:28,896 --> 01:01:31,029
You can't really do much more than that.
629
01:01:32,296 --> 01:01:34,729
Safe as houses, as they say.
630
01:02:44,029 --> 01:02:46,460
Go on, then.
631
01:02:46,462 --> 01:02:47,964
Sh-show your face.
632
01:02:49,762 --> 01:02:51,829
Fucking prick.
633
01:03:03,830 --> 01:03:05,930
What the fuck?
634
01:03:59,830 --> 01:04:02,493
"According to the law in London,"
635
01:04:02,495 --> 01:04:04,660
you may sit down for the night,
636
01:04:04,662 --> 01:04:07,294
but the police must move you on
637
01:04:07,296 --> 01:04:08,997
"if they see you asleep."
638
01:04:21,730 --> 01:04:23,863
Hey, how's it going?
639
01:04:24,562 --> 01:04:26,029
My friends.
640
01:05:06,629 --> 01:05:08,896
Yes, Mum, I've eaten.
641
01:05:09,930 --> 01:05:12,597
I had, like, a pepperoni pizza before.
642
01:05:14,329 --> 01:05:15,761
No.
643
01:05:15,763 --> 01:05:17,530
I don't know whose it is.
644
01:05:18,363 --> 01:05:20,761
I'm being serious.
645
01:05:20,763 --> 01:05:24,597
Wh... Why are you asking me anyway?
Like you haven't seen my willy before.
646
01:05:26,895 --> 01:05:28,427
No.
647
01:05:28,429 --> 01:05:31,730
Th-That's not me trying
to show you that I'm gay.
648
01:05:33,363 --> 01:05:34,629
Mum.
649
01:05:35,328 --> 01:05:36,426
It...
650
01:05:36,428 --> 01:05:38,596
The willy was not even circumcised.
651
01:05:40,629 --> 01:05:44,761
So why... I don't understand why
you would even think it's mine.
652
01:05:44,763 --> 01:05:46,230
Have you seen the color of it?
653
01:05:48,295 --> 01:05:50,196
It looks like a fucking fish finger.
654
01:06:22,263 --> 01:06:24,096
I guess it's just us guys now, innit?
655
01:06:26,563 --> 01:06:28,629
Guess we gotta look after each other.
656
01:08:10,629 --> 01:08:13,029
You fucking idiot.
657
01:08:28,962 --> 01:08:31,497
Never a lender or borrower be!
658
01:08:32,395 --> 01:08:34,030
You used to say it all the time.
659
01:08:35,929 --> 01:08:38,096
Look, I know we're a working family,
660
01:08:38,829 --> 01:08:40,727
and...
661
01:08:40,729 --> 01:08:42,627
this isn't me trying to get you and Dad
662
01:08:42,629 --> 01:08:43,693
to pay for my mortgage.
663
01:08:43,695 --> 01:08:44,997
That's not what I'm asking.
664
01:08:45,894 --> 01:08:49,460
I just wanted to see if he was able
665
01:08:49,462 --> 01:08:52,097
to lend me a couple hundred
quid until the end of...
666
01:08:56,329 --> 01:08:58,393
No, I know.
667
01:08:58,395 --> 01:09:00,597
There is not a lot out there, Mum, but...
668
01:09:01,596 --> 01:09:03,026
I'm gonna try it.
669
01:09:03,028 --> 01:09:04,627
I hope to find one.
670
01:09:04,629 --> 01:09:06,162
Pretty confident I can.
671
01:09:09,428 --> 01:09:12,427
Just gotta look up at the
stars and not down at my feet,
672
01:09:12,429 --> 01:09:13,763
I guess.
673
01:09:16,328 --> 01:09:18,530
What's the matter
with you? Can't say hello?
674
01:09:25,263 --> 01:09:27,162
What the bumboclaat?
675
01:09:28,996 --> 01:09:31,029
Holy shit!
676
01:09:36,928 --> 01:09:39,064
Bruv, what's going on? What's the matter?
677
01:09:46,529 --> 01:09:48,360
Are you all right, bruv?
678
01:09:48,362 --> 01:09:50,128
Looks like a fucking crack den in here.
679
01:09:51,663 --> 01:09:52,959
Bruv...
680
01:09:52,961 --> 01:09:55,797
just give me my weed and fuck off, innit?
681
01:09:58,329 --> 01:09:59,830
Oh, so, it's like that, yeah?
682
01:10:05,395 --> 01:10:07,530
You know what, take
your fucking weed, yeah?
683
01:10:39,029 --> 01:10:40,326
Hola!
684
01:10:40,328 --> 01:10:42,293
Holy fuck!
685
01:10:42,295 --> 01:10:44,393
What the fuck? What are
you doing in my house?
686
01:10:44,395 --> 01:10:45,660
Fuck you!
687
01:10:45,662 --> 01:10:47,426
You didn't give me anywhere else to go.
688
01:10:47,428 --> 01:10:48,461
Who the fuck are you?
689
01:10:48,463 --> 01:10:50,494
Mister Flash Bastard!
690
01:10:50,496 --> 01:10:52,293
Mister Wheeler Dealer!
691
01:10:52,295 --> 01:10:53,927
Fucking crazy-boy!
692
01:10:53,929 --> 01:10:55,497
Get out of my fucking house!
693
01:10:56,562 --> 01:10:59,063
Come on. Make your fucking move!
694
01:11:01,529 --> 01:11:03,628
I'll snap your fucking neck.
695
01:11:03,630 --> 01:11:04,960
Oh, please, man, please.
696
01:11:04,962 --> 01:11:07,262
We can sort something out.
We don't have to do this.
697
01:11:08,362 --> 01:11:10,262
I got some cash. I can give you some money.
698
01:11:11,296 --> 01:11:13,394
Money. Of course.
699
01:11:13,396 --> 01:11:15,663
Money? Fuck you!
700
01:11:16,363 --> 01:11:17,630
Sit down!
701
01:11:28,629 --> 01:11:31,697
Probably don't remember my girlfriend.
702
01:11:34,462 --> 01:11:36,293
Well...
703
01:11:36,295 --> 01:11:37,730
she lost her baby.
704
01:11:40,429 --> 01:11:42,096
She lost the baby, anyway.
705
01:11:44,995 --> 01:11:47,028
And I lost her.
706
01:11:48,028 --> 01:11:49,629
Court.
707
01:11:52,961 --> 01:11:55,962
I lost both, both of them.
708
01:12:00,828 --> 01:12:03,028
They do say it's stressful...
709
01:12:04,729 --> 01:12:06,962
losing your home.
710
01:12:12,962 --> 01:12:15,730
Man, I was just doing my job.
711
01:12:16,962 --> 01:12:19,026
They tell us to do that stuff.
712
01:12:19,028 --> 01:12:21,727
Wait it out for the highest offer.
713
01:12:21,729 --> 01:12:23,996
'Cause I'm a victim of it
just as much as you are.
714
01:12:32,828 --> 01:12:35,260
H-Hey now, come on.
715
01:12:35,262 --> 01:12:37,162
Hey, now, you ain't gonna do this, man!
716
01:12:59,363 --> 01:13:03,361
♪ City bird, city bird ♪
717
01:13:04,829 --> 01:13:08,760
♪ Fly away from my window ♪
718
01:13:08,762 --> 01:13:12,526
♪ From my window ♪
719
01:13:12,528 --> 01:13:15,960
♪ 'Cause you don't sing ♪
720
01:13:15,962 --> 01:13:19,597
♪ Like the birds from home sing ♪
721
01:13:20,462 --> 01:13:24,096
♪ Your song is dying ♪
722
01:13:25,529 --> 01:13:29,559
♪ I set the table for
the ghosts in my home ♪
723
01:13:29,561 --> 01:13:32,727
♪ My home ♪
724
01:13:32,729 --> 01:13:34,892
♪ And pour the wine and raise a glass ♪
725
01:13:34,894 --> 01:13:38,062
♪ For the guests in my home ♪
726
01:13:40,894 --> 01:13:45,293
♪ They're entering in their
skin and in their bones ♪
727
01:13:45,295 --> 01:13:48,361
♪ Still in their bones ♪
728
01:13:48,363 --> 01:13:50,626
♪ The vision scares but none compares ♪
729
01:13:50,628 --> 01:13:53,762
♪ To the dread of drinking alone ♪
730
01:13:57,263 --> 01:14:01,260
♪ After the tower's turned ♪
731
01:14:01,262 --> 01:14:04,496
♪ To a tomb ♪
732
01:14:05,595 --> 01:14:06,959
♪ The underworld ♪
733
01:14:06,961 --> 01:14:08,426
Goodbye, my friends.
734
01:14:08,428 --> 01:14:14,426
♪ Refugees all were
refused by the banker ♪
735
01:14:14,428 --> 01:14:16,796
♪ They could never go in ♪
736
01:14:17,762 --> 01:14:21,293
♪ So I let them in ♪
737
01:14:21,295 --> 01:14:24,560
♪ I light the candle ♪
738
01:14:24,562 --> 01:14:26,727
♪ For the ghosts in my home ♪
739
01:14:26,729 --> 01:14:28,962
♪ My home ♪
740
01:14:29,961 --> 01:14:32,361
♪ And say a prayer
to please send care ♪
741
01:14:32,363 --> 01:14:35,530
♪ For the guests in my home ♪
742
01:14:37,996 --> 01:14:40,960
♪ But in their sleep
they claw and scream ♪
743
01:14:40,962 --> 01:14:42,361
♪ The devil home ♪
744
01:14:42,363 --> 01:14:45,361
♪ The devil's come home ♪
745
01:14:45,363 --> 01:14:47,726
♪ But that nightmare does not compare ♪
746
01:14:47,728 --> 01:14:51,063
♪ To the demons in sleeping alone ♪
747
01:14:54,494 --> 01:14:58,593
♪ After the tower is turned ♪
748
01:14:58,595 --> 01:15:02,859
♪ To a tomb ♪
749
01:15:02,861 --> 01:15:07,460
♪ The underworld refugees all... ♪
750
01:15:07,462 --> 01:15:09,459
Hello, Mum.
751
01:15:09,461 --> 01:15:11,492
Yeah, listen to me, yeah?
Listen to me carefully.
752
01:15:11,494 --> 01:15:12,692
I need your help.
753
01:15:12,694 --> 01:15:14,360
Can you get Imran please?
754
01:15:14,362 --> 01:15:17,028
Tell him to come to my house... ASAP.
755
01:15:17,795 --> 01:15:20,196
Yeah. No, it's an emergency.
756
01:15:22,263 --> 01:15:23,926
I-I'm...
757
01:15:23,928 --> 01:15:26,592
Basically, some old, crazy man
758
01:15:26,594 --> 01:15:28,496
has stuck me in a freezer.
759
01:15:30,029 --> 01:15:32,530
It's in the hallway. Why
does that even matter?
760
01:15:33,494 --> 01:15:35,696
Yeah, can you just tell him to come quick.
761
01:15:37,729 --> 01:15:40,026
Yeah, I'll explain more la...
762
01:15:40,028 --> 01:15:41,728
No.
763
01:15:42,761 --> 01:15:45,229
This has not got nothing to do with sex.
764
01:15:46,695 --> 01:15:48,029
Yes, Mum.
765
01:15:48,929 --> 01:15:51,027
Hello? Hello?
766
01:15:51,029 --> 01:15:53,562
Mum? Mum?
767
01:15:54,395 --> 01:15:55,762
Mum?
768
01:16:50,461 --> 01:16:52,261
As far back as I can remember,
769
01:16:52,263 --> 01:16:54,230
I always wanted to be an estate agent.
770
01:16:56,362 --> 01:16:57,993
All right, calm down.
771
01:16:57,995 --> 01:16:59,526
That was a little lie.
772
01:16:59,528 --> 01:17:01,426
A fake statement.
773
01:17:01,428 --> 01:17:03,727
I got no qualifications, no experience,
774
01:17:03,729 --> 01:17:06,460
no license, nor training.
775
01:17:06,462 --> 01:17:08,626
I answered an ad in a job site saying.
776
01:17:08,628 --> 01:17:12,360
"Spineless and love negotiating?"
777
01:17:12,362 --> 01:17:13,459
At least I'm not like them.
778
01:17:13,461 --> 01:17:15,425
"Home Under the Hammer" spanners.
779
01:17:15,427 --> 01:17:17,692
Once the property is completed, I advise
780
01:17:17,694 --> 01:17:21,425
shut the fuck up, you bunch of wankers.
781
01:17:21,427 --> 01:17:24,993
I spray a can of Brut over
my 60 percent polyester suit.
782
01:17:24,995 --> 01:17:26,627
I spit shine my shoes.
783
01:17:26,629 --> 01:17:30,692
"Yes, Mrs. Brown. I'll
meet you outside at noon."
784
01:17:30,694 --> 01:17:32,592
See, to my face, people call me Hussein.
785
01:17:32,594 --> 01:17:36,026
Behind my back, "Saddam, pak rat, Taliban."
786
01:17:36,028 --> 01:17:38,262
Some even think Gandhi's my name.
787
01:17:38,995 --> 01:17:40,927
I know I'm not Indian.
788
01:17:40,929 --> 01:17:42,194
But we're still all the same.
789
01:17:42,196 --> 01:17:46,561
This race-based hate can raise
the strain and take the piss.
790
01:17:46,562 --> 01:17:48,727
You think I'm a cabbie?
791
01:17:48,729 --> 01:17:50,993
A corner shop Ali, serving curry?
792
01:17:52,828 --> 01:17:56,293
As if. I'm an estate agent. A great agent.
793
01:17:56,294 --> 01:17:59,892
I make payments. And if there's a
new space vacant, I'm chain breaking.
794
01:17:59,895 --> 01:18:04,393
I could give a fuck if I sold
you a lame, stained basement.
795
01:18:04,395 --> 01:18:06,926
I mean, you viewed it, right?
796
01:18:08,794 --> 01:18:12,195
I remember this one
story about this one don.
797
01:18:12,961 --> 01:18:14,993
I think his name was John.
798
01:18:14,995 --> 01:18:17,827
He put a house on the offer, for a mansion.
799
01:18:17,829 --> 01:18:20,459
Oh! I thought the lot was on.
800
01:18:20,461 --> 01:18:22,460
But my commission was rotten.
801
01:18:22,462 --> 01:18:24,793
He wanted this place so bad.
802
01:18:24,795 --> 01:18:26,993
I decided to bend and break.
803
01:18:26,995 --> 01:18:29,793
"Yeah, mate, I'll ring the
vendor, and I'll negotiate."
804
01:18:29,795 --> 01:18:32,292
That's how I fucked him over.
805
01:18:32,294 --> 01:18:34,493
And that's the money
that paid for my holiday.
806
01:18:34,495 --> 01:18:37,927
So what if a client
outbid himself in the end?
807
01:18:37,929 --> 01:18:40,460
We're not relatives, acquaintances,
808
01:18:40,462 --> 01:18:41,995
or personal friends.
809
01:18:42,694 --> 01:18:44,525
The more you zoom in...
810
01:18:44,527 --> 01:18:45,859
the less we all count.
811
01:18:45,861 --> 01:18:48,792
It's like we're all
rats, ants, and parasites.
812
01:18:48,794 --> 01:18:50,259
All crawling around.
813
01:18:50,261 --> 01:18:52,360
It's a vicious cycle.
814
01:18:52,362 --> 01:18:54,460
We signed our lives to a trap.
815
01:18:54,462 --> 01:18:56,529
They say, karma can't harm ya...
816
01:18:57,262 --> 01:18:58,791
if it can't catch up.
817
01:18:58,794 --> 01:19:01,629
So run fast towards the darkness
818
01:19:02,361 --> 01:19:05,629
in hope... not trust.
819
01:19:05,959 --> 01:19:10,959
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