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1
00:00:02,399 --> 00:00:05,479
Like, I keep trying to fit the parts
into the parts, and they're both
2
00:00:05,519 --> 00:00:07,319
too many parts and not enough parts.
3
00:00:07,360 --> 00:00:10,480
And I'm highly aware that I keep
saying the word "parts".
4
00:00:10,519 --> 00:00:12,359
We've tried.... every way.
5
00:00:12,400 --> 00:00:14,560
That... does not fit into that.
6
00:00:15,400 --> 00:00:16,760
Yeah. Mm-hm.
7
00:00:16,800 --> 00:00:18,480
We should probably start calling
"that"...
8
00:00:18,519 --> 00:00:19,999
Olivia. (gurgle)
9
00:00:20,039 --> 00:00:23,479
I could swear there's way more male
buttons than female buttons.
10
00:00:23,519 --> 00:00:25,439
Well, that's the bloody patriarchy
for ya! Yeah.
11
00:00:25,480 --> 00:00:27,560
I'd like a woke Babygro please!
12
00:00:27,600 --> 00:00:29,360
We have to stop stressing!
13
00:00:29,399 --> 00:00:32,559
Today... (gurgle) I am going to find
the joy of being in the now
14
00:00:32,600 --> 00:00:34,760
with a baby called Olivia!
Mm!
15
00:00:34,799 --> 00:00:36,279
Not everything fits,
16
00:00:36,320 --> 00:00:38,320
but everything works.
17
00:00:38,359 --> 00:00:40,359
Ta da!
18
00:00:41,479 --> 00:00:43,559
(farting, burbling, crying)
19
00:00:44,200 --> 00:00:46,000
(gags)
20
00:00:46,039 --> 00:00:48,039
Did you have to do that?
21
00:00:48,159 --> 00:00:50,159
(music)
22
00:00:55,320 --> 00:00:57,320
Hiya!
23
00:00:59,719 --> 00:01:01,719
Oh my God!
24
00:01:02,280 --> 00:01:04,160
Cute baby, Joy!
25
00:01:04,200 --> 00:01:06,000
(Satanic choral music)
26
00:01:06,040 --> 00:01:07,920
Thank you!
27
00:01:07,959 --> 00:01:09,319
I mean... it's not yours,
28
00:01:09,359 --> 00:01:11,559
but by all means gobble up the
compliment!
29
00:01:11,599 --> 00:01:13,919
Yeah, I'm helping out a friend who's
working on her marriage,
30
00:01:13,959 --> 00:01:16,159
she's gone away with her husband
today to talk things through,
31
00:01:16,200 --> 00:01:18,080
and hopefully they'll have all the
problems ironed out
32
00:01:18,120 --> 00:01:20,040
before close of business today.
33
00:01:20,079 --> 00:01:22,999
My parents are always telling me
that I'm the reason they broke up?
34
00:01:23,040 --> 00:01:24,520
Which is nice. Aw.
35
00:01:24,560 --> 00:01:26,440
Are you trying to to the same thing?
36
00:01:26,480 --> 00:01:27,800
Aw, honey...
37
00:01:27,840 --> 00:01:30,520
She won't be able to answer you,
she's a baby.
38
00:01:30,560 --> 00:01:32,720
I know, Joy. It was rhetorical.
39
00:01:33,040 --> 00:01:36,560
Ooh, somebody swallowed a dictionary!
(laughs)
40
00:01:36,799 --> 00:01:37,959
Don't come any closer, Joy!
41
00:01:38,000 --> 00:01:39,880
(Satanic choral music)
42
00:01:39,920 --> 00:01:41,920
I find babies massively
intimidating.
43
00:01:41,959 --> 00:01:43,399
Ha ha!
44
00:01:43,439 --> 00:01:45,439
Heard the baby talk, Joy!
45
00:01:45,480 --> 00:01:47,080
And just so you know...
46
00:01:47,120 --> 00:01:48,760
if she gets hungry or anything...
47
00:01:48,799 --> 00:01:49,759
you know, you can...
48
00:01:49,799 --> 00:01:52,239
Don't feed the baby fig rolls,
I know!
49
00:01:52,280 --> 00:01:53,920
Ha ha ha! No, I meant...
50
00:01:53,959 --> 00:01:55,959
You know, happy to help out!
51
00:01:58,120 --> 00:01:59,440
I meant to stop myself ages ago, but
52
00:01:59,480 --> 00:02:01,200
here I am! Mum of two!
53
00:02:01,239 --> 00:02:04,319
Sorry, are you suggesting that you
would...
54
00:02:04,519 --> 00:02:06,519
take... What?
55
00:02:06,560 --> 00:02:08,360
That's just disgusting!
That's just disgusting!
56
00:02:08,400 --> 00:02:10,040
That is disgusting!
That is disgusting!
57
00:02:10,080 --> 00:02:11,480
That's disgusting!
That's disgusting!
58
00:02:11,520 --> 00:02:13,360
I meant I would hold the baby, Joy.
59
00:02:13,400 --> 00:02:14,920
Yeah, and I have formula, Karen.
60
00:02:14,960 --> 00:02:15,920
Good.
61
00:02:15,960 --> 00:02:17,960
Use it.
62
00:02:20,240 --> 00:02:22,520
I used to hate babies too, Phillip!
63
00:02:22,560 --> 00:02:24,440
Never said I hated them, Joy.
64
00:02:24,479 --> 00:02:28,159
But they change you. You change.
I can't explain it!
65
00:02:28,319 --> 00:02:29,999
Joy, it's not your baby!
66
00:02:30,039 --> 00:02:31,399
I used to think they were
quite gross,
67
00:02:31,439 --> 00:02:33,079
but they're quite good, aren't they?
68
00:02:33,120 --> 00:02:34,160
Once you can hand them back!
69
00:02:34,199 --> 00:02:36,199
(laughs) Totally!
70
00:02:36,560 --> 00:02:38,520
OK, em, let's get down to business.
71
00:02:38,560 --> 00:02:39,680
So this week was good!
72
00:02:39,719 --> 00:02:40,959
It was, em...
73
00:02:41,000 --> 00:02:41,760
funny!
74
00:02:41,800 --> 00:02:44,680
You know the whole hashtag volcel
thing blew up, which was...
75
00:02:44,719 --> 00:02:46,279
quite a surprise,
to all of us here...
76
00:02:46,319 --> 00:02:47,879
And then the snogging in the chipper
thing
77
00:02:47,919 --> 00:02:49,839
was a fun pivot away from that...
78
00:02:49,879 --> 00:02:52,519
You know, a nice development in the
ongoing quest for happiness.
79
00:02:52,560 --> 00:02:54,560
Thank you. Super-planned.
80
00:02:55,000 --> 00:02:57,760
OK, well, if you could let us in on
those plans in the future,
81
00:02:57,800 --> 00:02:59,280
because we're a team here?
82
00:02:59,319 --> 00:02:59,879
Gotcha.
83
00:02:59,919 --> 00:03:01,239
And I do think that we can bag
84
00:03:01,280 --> 00:03:05,960
a permanent sponsor if we continue
to carve out our niche uniquely.
85
00:03:07,840 --> 00:03:09,840
Unique-ness.
86
00:03:10,120 --> 00:03:13,160
Yes, I've been watching Flora,
and loads of other unique people,
87
00:03:13,199 --> 00:03:15,439
and I wanna be exactly like them!
88
00:03:15,960 --> 00:03:19,000
Today, I'm gonna find the joy
of parenting,
89
00:03:19,039 --> 00:03:21,199
with this little munchkin-head.
90
00:03:21,240 --> 00:03:23,040
I think a lot of parents, like me...
91
00:03:23,080 --> 00:03:24,760
Joy, there are no parents like you.
92
00:03:24,800 --> 00:03:25,800
Maybe there's not many,
93
00:03:25,840 --> 00:03:27,480
but there's some.
94
00:03:27,520 --> 00:03:30,320
Stan? I think, if I can get parents
to be at one with their children,
95
00:03:30,360 --> 00:03:34,600
the whole joy of parenting is just
gonna flow more naturally!
96
00:03:34,960 --> 00:03:38,080
Do you know what? I'm gonna do bullet
points for Trish, when I'm done.
97
00:03:38,120 --> 00:03:41,360
Do you know one thing that I have
learnt from being a parent?
98
00:03:41,400 --> 00:03:44,200
Having been a parent to a baby
that's not yours?
99
00:03:44,240 --> 00:03:46,680
It's just, you know... A baby that
you've basically had for an hour...
100
00:03:46,719 --> 00:03:48,159
I think that, it's just like... and
has been asleep for the majority...
101
00:03:48,199 --> 00:03:49,759
y'know, you get so caught up... of
the time from what I can see?
102
00:03:49,800 --> 00:03:51,600
with "where's the time for me?"
No, I don't think so, I think
103
00:03:51,639 --> 00:03:53,279
she's been in the pram, I think...
"How do I fit her into my life?"
104
00:03:53,319 --> 00:03:56,079
Knock knock in there, you're missing
everything! I think maybe we just
105
00:03:56,120 --> 00:03:57,640
need to take a moment? Have a cup of
tea, and... Just slow down and...
106
00:03:57,680 --> 00:04:00,600
relax! You know?
They grow up so quickly!
107
00:04:01,159 --> 00:04:03,159
Stan, they grow up so fast!
108
00:04:05,919 --> 00:04:07,679
Alright.
109
00:04:07,719 --> 00:04:09,719
(music)
110
00:04:12,319 --> 00:04:13,999
Honest quezzie?
Shoot.
111
00:04:14,039 --> 00:04:17,879
Are you worried about seeming...
112
00:04:17,920 --> 00:04:19,760
patronising and insane?
113
00:04:19,800 --> 00:04:21,800
No! Next quezzie?
114
00:04:22,319 --> 00:04:23,839
No further quezzies!
115
00:04:23,879 --> 00:04:25,039
Perfect!
116
00:04:25,079 --> 00:04:27,079
Aw!
117
00:04:28,639 --> 00:04:29,919
Joy...
118
00:04:29,959 --> 00:04:31,959
(music)
119
00:04:38,040 --> 00:04:41,120
Roughly how long are you gonna be
asleep for?
120
00:04:42,680 --> 00:04:45,280
(knocks)
Knock knock? Who's there!
121
00:04:45,399 --> 00:04:48,799
I don't get who you're playing
today, eh, working mum
122
00:04:48,839 --> 00:04:51,759
struggling to keep her work-life
balance in check?
123
00:04:51,800 --> 00:04:52,880
Yes.
124
00:04:52,920 --> 00:04:54,280
For literally one day.
125
00:04:54,319 --> 00:04:56,319
One whole day.
126
00:04:56,399 --> 00:04:59,159
OK, I was just wondering because my
mum was a single mum, and...
127
00:04:59,199 --> 00:05:01,399
she raised me for more than one day,
and it was hard.
128
00:05:01,439 --> 00:05:02,479
Mm-hm, mm-hm.
129
00:05:02,519 --> 00:05:04,839
It was really hard.
Mm-hm, mm-hm. I know.
130
00:05:04,879 --> 00:05:07,519
All mums have their journeys, Stan
but (sighs)...
131
00:05:07,560 --> 00:05:09,120
don't worry, I'm pretty Zen!
132
00:05:09,160 --> 00:05:11,520
Yeah, I'm... I'm not really worried
about how you'll get on...
133
00:05:11,560 --> 00:05:15,720
for literally one day...
I appreciate your concern, Stan.
134
00:05:15,759 --> 00:05:18,359
Christie was exactly the same.
She was like "Joy!"
135
00:05:18,399 --> 00:05:21,119
And I was like "I know!"
You know what she's like!
136
00:05:21,160 --> 00:05:24,600
But I dunno! Olivia's so chill when
she's around me!
137
00:05:24,639 --> 00:05:27,359
Now you're chill!
I think she just gets my chill,
138
00:05:27,399 --> 00:05:29,719
transmitted to her, or whatever.
139
00:05:29,879 --> 00:05:31,879
OK.
140
00:05:36,360 --> 00:05:38,360
Still asleep.
141
00:05:38,680 --> 00:05:42,600
Do you know that some babies start
singing before they start talking?
142
00:05:42,639 --> 00:05:44,559
Really? Yeah, I know this.
143
00:05:44,600 --> 00:05:46,600
I read it on the internet.
144
00:05:46,759 --> 00:05:48,759
(music)
145
00:05:49,199 --> 00:05:50,679
I'm here instead of Trish,
146
00:05:50,720 --> 00:05:52,200
and this is baby Olivia?
147
00:05:52,240 --> 00:05:54,480
No problem at all, you just sign in
there, thank you.
148
00:05:54,519 --> 00:05:57,039
Oh! And we'll give Olivia a sticker.
149
00:05:57,560 --> 00:05:59,560
Stickers!
150
00:05:59,920 --> 00:06:01,480
So cute! Ah ha.
151
00:06:01,519 --> 00:06:03,519
Do you know, if you learn the
tambourine early,
152
00:06:03,560 --> 00:06:05,760
you'll be good at science
and biz org?
153
00:06:05,800 --> 00:06:07,800
Hm!
154
00:06:09,279 --> 00:06:11,279
Tambourine time!
155
00:06:12,480 --> 00:06:14,480
(babies cooing and crying)
156
00:06:17,560 --> 00:06:19,560
(door closes)
157
00:06:21,600 --> 00:06:23,600
Welcome, everybody!
158
00:06:24,199 --> 00:06:27,039
Excuse me, you can't film
in this space.
159
00:06:27,399 --> 00:06:28,399
OK, cool.
160
00:06:28,439 --> 00:06:31,479
So we're about to begin, if you'd
just like to take a seat?
161
00:06:31,519 --> 00:06:32,359
I don't have a baby.
162
00:06:32,399 --> 00:06:33,799
Take a seat. But I don't...
163
00:06:33,839 --> 00:06:34,999
Take a seat!
164
00:06:35,040 --> 00:06:36,360
Yeah.
165
00:06:36,399 --> 00:06:38,399
(babies cooing and crying)
166
00:06:44,079 --> 00:06:46,719
Oh, Shauna's a right bruiser,
isn't she?
167
00:06:46,759 --> 00:06:48,199
Very large head.
168
00:06:48,240 --> 00:06:50,840
I'm sure that was sore enough for
you.
169
00:06:52,680 --> 00:06:54,560
Emily's lovely and hairy, isn't she?
170
00:06:54,600 --> 00:06:57,320
Well, I guess that makes sense,
'cause so are you...
171
00:06:57,360 --> 00:06:59,000
Eh... I mean you've both got...
172
00:06:59,040 --> 00:07:01,040
lovely hair on your head.
173
00:07:01,279 --> 00:07:02,119
This little one
174
00:07:02,160 --> 00:07:04,760
has got a bald patch at the back from
rubbing her head so much,
175
00:07:04,800 --> 00:07:08,640
but it'll grow back. We can always
throw in a few extensions.
176
00:07:08,680 --> 00:07:09,760
She's the image of you.
177
00:07:09,800 --> 00:07:12,960
Oh no, that's not possible,
because... sh...
178
00:07:13,680 --> 00:07:16,840
I've got longer hair than she does,
and her...
179
00:07:17,519 --> 00:07:19,519
nose is... squashier.
180
00:07:21,319 --> 00:07:23,359
But they all look the same at this
age anyway, don't they?
181
00:07:23,399 --> 00:07:27,479
Hope I don't take the wrong one home
with me today! (laughs)
182
00:07:28,240 --> 00:07:29,960
But yeah!
I guess she does look like me.
183
00:07:30,000 --> 00:07:34,400
'Cause after all, I did... push her
right out of me! Human Aidan!
184
00:07:35,199 --> 00:07:37,199
Hey, Joy.
185
00:07:37,839 --> 00:07:39,839
(swoop)
186
00:07:40,399 --> 00:07:41,999
(music)
187
00:07:42,040 --> 00:07:44,040
(swoop)
188
00:07:45,519 --> 00:07:47,519
You have a baby!
189
00:07:47,839 --> 00:07:49,599
So do you!
190
00:07:49,639 --> 00:07:51,079
I do.
191
00:07:51,120 --> 00:07:52,920
(shouts) Isn't it something?
192
00:07:52,959 --> 00:07:54,039
(shouts) Isn't it!
193
00:07:54,079 --> 00:07:55,639
Is this your first time?
194
00:07:55,680 --> 00:07:57,960
First time, yeah, tambourine time,
yay!
195
00:07:58,000 --> 00:07:59,360
Yeah, it's lots of fun!
196
00:07:59,399 --> 00:08:00,799
Isn't it fun?
197
00:08:00,839 --> 00:08:02,479
Isn't it just the most fun ever?
198
00:08:02,519 --> 00:08:03,599
Yeah!
199
00:08:03,639 --> 00:08:06,119
OK, everyone,
let's pick up our tambourines,
200
00:08:06,160 --> 00:08:07,360
and shake!
201
00:08:07,399 --> 00:08:09,159
Let's try to connect with each
other,
202
00:08:09,199 --> 00:08:12,479
and our babies, through the music.
203
00:08:12,519 --> 00:08:14,199
It can be lonely out there,
204
00:08:14,240 --> 00:08:15,920
as a solo artist.
205
00:08:15,959 --> 00:08:18,039
And...
(shakes tambourine)
206
00:08:18,079 --> 00:08:19,679
Shake 'em!
207
00:08:19,720 --> 00:08:22,560
(babies crying,
tambourines shaking)
208
00:08:24,560 --> 00:08:25,960
Yay!
209
00:08:26,000 --> 00:08:27,760
Baby!
210
00:08:27,800 --> 00:08:28,600
(swoop)
211
00:08:28,639 --> 00:08:30,439
Five... four...
Five... four...
212
00:08:30,480 --> 00:08:32,480
(slap) My wee's on there!
213
00:08:32,519 --> 00:08:34,519
Two... one!
One!
214
00:08:39,120 --> 00:08:41,120
(sighs) It's a no!
215
00:08:42,200 --> 00:08:44,200
(laughs) It's a no!
216
00:08:44,559 --> 00:08:46,159
(sighs)
217
00:08:46,200 --> 00:08:48,360
It's no! Yeah, yeah,
I heard you the first time.
218
00:08:48,399 --> 00:08:50,399
It's no.
(swoop)
219
00:08:50,559 --> 00:08:53,959
(music, babies crying,
tambourines shaking)
220
00:08:58,080 --> 00:09:00,080
(music)
221
00:09:03,960 --> 00:09:05,960
Joy! Joy!
222
00:09:06,840 --> 00:09:09,920
I can't actually believe I'm seeing
you, and you've got a baby!
223
00:09:09,960 --> 00:09:12,280
Congratulations!
Yes, exactly!
224
00:09:12,320 --> 00:09:14,000
I mean...
she's gorgeous, how old is she?
225
00:09:14,039 --> 00:09:17,639
Oh! Eh, she's... a year!
Or whatever, give or take.
226
00:09:17,919 --> 00:09:19,759
A... a y...
227
00:09:19,799 --> 00:09:24,639
Em.... Och, she's a year, minus...
seven months...
228
00:09:24,679 --> 00:09:26,799
carry the one...
em, add all the days...
229
00:09:26,840 --> 00:09:28,720
minus all the days, you know the way
you work it out like that?
230
00:09:28,759 --> 00:09:30,479
So she's three months!
231
00:09:30,519 --> 00:09:33,759
But I'm not a slave to the calendar,
Aidan, that's not my jam.
232
00:09:33,799 --> 00:09:37,719
God, wow, well, I mean... she's...
big for three months!
233
00:09:38,360 --> 00:09:40,440
Well, I'm not into body-shaming
babies, Aidan.
234
00:09:40,480 --> 00:09:42,360
Oh no, it's just, like, she's got,
like, all of her teeth!
235
00:09:42,399 --> 00:09:44,479
Well, she's very advanced!
What's your point, caller?
236
00:09:44,519 --> 00:09:47,599
Aaah! But anyway, enough about us!
Yours is nice!
237
00:09:47,639 --> 00:09:49,639
Yeah. Yeah, she's amazing!
238
00:09:49,799 --> 00:09:51,079
We're thrilled!
239
00:09:51,120 --> 00:09:52,320
We?
240
00:09:52,360 --> 00:09:55,600
Yeah, so I needed, like,
another party? To...
241
00:09:55,759 --> 00:09:57,759
Oh, I know all about that!
242
00:09:58,120 --> 00:10:00,120
Yeah, me and Sarah.
243
00:10:00,960 --> 00:10:02,760
Told you!
244
00:10:02,799 --> 00:10:05,159
I told you you guys should be
together! Told ya!
245
00:10:05,200 --> 00:10:07,880
(laughs) Sickened! Sickened, Aidan!
246
00:10:08,000 --> 00:10:09,640
Sickened!
247
00:10:09,679 --> 00:10:10,879
Actually, it wasn't long after...
248
00:10:10,919 --> 00:10:12,679
I don't need to know.
249
00:10:12,720 --> 00:10:14,680
I know how babies are made!
250
00:10:14,720 --> 00:10:16,000
Woo!
Ha.
251
00:10:16,039 --> 00:10:17,839
Sure didn't I make one myself,
with...
252
00:10:17,879 --> 00:10:18,559
With?
253
00:10:18,600 --> 00:10:20,600
With...
254
00:10:21,440 --> 00:10:24,120
This really, really, really, really,
255
00:10:24,480 --> 00:10:26,480
oh! Really beautiful...
256
00:10:27,240 --> 00:10:29,640
Australian yoga stunner, with...
257
00:10:29,840 --> 00:10:31,440
tiny pores.
258
00:10:31,480 --> 00:10:34,720
So I'm not exactly sweatin' in here,
mister...
259
00:10:36,240 --> 00:10:38,040
And he's an Aries!
260
00:10:38,080 --> 00:10:39,840
He's an Aries!
261
00:10:39,879 --> 00:10:41,719
An Aries!
262
00:10:41,759 --> 00:10:43,759
Wow. Yeah.
263
00:10:44,559 --> 00:10:46,559
I know.
264
00:10:47,879 --> 00:10:50,079
I've to go. We have to go, don't we,
Olivia? Don't we, Stan?
265
00:10:50,120 --> 00:10:54,360
Don't we, everyone? Yes, we do,
that's right. Goodbye Aidan!
266
00:10:56,399 --> 00:10:58,399
Oh, Joy!
267
00:10:58,480 --> 00:10:59,280
Joy...
268
00:10:59,320 --> 00:11:00,560
Sorry... eh...
269
00:11:00,600 --> 00:11:02,600
Ooh! Coo-ee!
270
00:11:03,120 --> 00:11:06,520
Ah! Keep meaning to set up Deliveroo
for this one!
271
00:11:07,480 --> 00:11:09,320
Yeah.
272
00:11:09,360 --> 00:11:11,360
So, em... look...
273
00:11:11,960 --> 00:11:13,040
I mean,
I haven't seen you in a year,
274
00:11:13,080 --> 00:11:14,440
do you wanna go and get a cup of tea
or something?
275
00:11:14,480 --> 00:11:18,160
Oh, I'd love to, but I really don't
want to, so I can't.
276
00:11:21,440 --> 00:11:22,760
I mean...
277
00:11:22,799 --> 00:11:27,039
Ju... I don't drink tea, any more,
after 11 AM, I'm so sorry...
278
00:11:27,200 --> 00:11:28,440
That's cool...
279
00:11:28,480 --> 00:11:31,560
I mean, we can go get a glass of
milk, or a Pepsi?
280
00:11:31,600 --> 00:11:33,280
Yeah, I just...
281
00:11:33,320 --> 00:11:35,200
Thank you, but I... I...
I'm really busy,
282
00:11:35,240 --> 00:11:37,520
I have a lot of things to do this
afternoon.
283
00:11:37,559 --> 00:11:39,279
Cool.
284
00:11:39,320 --> 00:11:43,880
What are you doing?
Will. I'm gonna do him.
285
00:11:43,919 --> 00:11:46,719
Will is my baby-daddy, that's his
name, and...
286
00:11:46,759 --> 00:11:52,679
I have plans to... meet him and...
do him.
287
00:11:52,759 --> 00:11:53,679
OK.
288
00:11:53,720 --> 00:11:55,880
Well, that's.... impressive.
289
00:11:55,919 --> 00:11:57,999
Seeing as you're baby's only three
months old, and
290
00:11:58,039 --> 00:12:00,359
has this massive head, so like...
291
00:12:00,639 --> 00:12:01,879
good on ya!
292
00:12:01,919 --> 00:12:04,159
Well, I.... snapped right back!
293
00:12:04,519 --> 00:12:06,159
(clop)
294
00:12:06,200 --> 00:12:12,040
So... which way are you and, eh...
Mr Aries guy headed?
295
00:12:12,080 --> 00:12:14,000
Yeah, gonna meet him...
296
00:12:14,039 --> 00:12:15,879
I guess, all around here....
297
00:12:15,919 --> 00:12:18,159
and then we're gonna... here...
298
00:12:19,480 --> 00:12:23,720
Wanna go back inside and maybe have
a cup of not-tea? Or water?
299
00:12:27,320 --> 00:12:30,640
(music) Stan, I better go and
help this guy out.
300
00:12:31,039 --> 00:12:33,039
Nice buggy, by the way.
301
00:12:34,919 --> 00:12:36,799
Suits you, the buggy.
Thanks.
302
00:12:36,840 --> 00:12:38,840
So is Sarah quite large now?
303
00:12:38,919 --> 00:12:40,919
No, no, not at all...
304
00:12:41,559 --> 00:12:43,559
(music)
305
00:12:55,559 --> 00:12:56,679
(swoop)
306
00:12:56,720 --> 00:12:58,720
(sighs)
Oh!
307
00:12:59,600 --> 00:13:01,280
Hey, how about I just threw
everything off course here
308
00:13:01,320 --> 00:13:05,040
for a second, and... told you I was
falling in love with you?
309
00:13:05,080 --> 00:13:06,120
(swoop)
310
00:13:06,159 --> 00:13:08,559
Stay positive and keep it real,
remember?
311
00:13:08,600 --> 00:13:10,120
It's all chill with Will!
312
00:13:10,159 --> 00:13:11,399
Stay there!
313
00:13:11,440 --> 00:13:13,440
(chair scrapes)
314
00:13:14,559 --> 00:13:16,559
(clatter)
315
00:13:16,799 --> 00:13:18,599
For some crazy reason that guy
over there
316
00:13:18,639 --> 00:13:21,399
thinks that I'm the baby's mum and
you're the dad!
317
00:13:21,440 --> 00:13:23,360
Bonkers, some people are so weird!
318
00:13:23,399 --> 00:13:24,119
Get fucked!
319
00:13:24,159 --> 00:13:27,159
And do you know what else is really
chill and not bonkers at all?
320
00:13:27,200 --> 00:13:29,920
You playing along with it, and me
explaining it all to you later?
321
00:13:29,960 --> 00:13:32,160
Does that sound namaste, is that
chill with Will? No!
322
00:13:32,200 --> 00:13:34,560
You can't pretend to be the mother
of someone else's child, Joy!
323
00:13:34,600 --> 00:13:35,560
That's too much!
324
00:13:35,600 --> 00:13:37,800
Please! Please! I just need to get
through the next half an hour, Will,
325
00:13:37,840 --> 00:13:40,400
please, please, please, please!
This is gonna screw with my karma!
326
00:13:40,440 --> 00:13:42,440
Please, Will!
It's insane!
327
00:13:42,519 --> 00:13:46,079
Labels, Will, please!
No! Please. No!
328
00:13:46,120 --> 00:13:49,040
You're not some rabid dingo that can
just run off with a kid!
329
00:13:49,080 --> 00:13:51,840
Exactly! I'm not...
I'm not running off with it forever!
330
00:13:51,879 --> 00:13:54,999
That's what makes me a good dingo,
I bring the baby back!
331
00:13:55,039 --> 00:13:57,079
You're not a dingo, Joy!
Please.
332
00:13:57,120 --> 00:13:58,600
Please, Will! No.
Please. No!
333
00:13:58,639 --> 00:14:01,119
Please, Will, please! Please, let's
be dingoes together! No!
334
00:14:01,159 --> 00:14:02,799
Please, Will, please!
335
00:14:02,840 --> 00:14:04,400
Please please please please!
336
00:14:04,440 --> 00:14:05,800
How many times can I say no?
337
00:14:05,840 --> 00:14:09,120
(gasps) Oh, brilliant!
OK!
338
00:14:10,440 --> 00:14:12,440
(chair scrapes)
339
00:14:12,799 --> 00:14:13,999
This is Human Aidan!
340
00:14:14,039 --> 00:14:16,039
How is my little furry friend?
341
00:14:16,080 --> 00:14:20,320
Well, mate, I'm not gonna lie,
that's... that's kinda harsh.
342
00:14:22,720 --> 00:14:26,200
Oh, no! Sorry... he's talking...
you're talking about Canine Aidan!
343
00:14:26,240 --> 00:14:27,400
The dog!
344
00:14:27,440 --> 00:14:29,080
Yeah. No, he's good!
345
00:14:29,120 --> 00:14:30,320
I think he's completely over you,
346
00:14:30,360 --> 00:14:32,360
which is great...
Oh, OK...
347
00:14:32,559 --> 00:14:35,319
And, eh... who's this little bundle
of fun here?
348
00:14:35,360 --> 00:14:38,520
(laughs hysterically)
Such a funny fucker!
349
00:14:38,879 --> 00:14:40,879
Ha ha ha, keeps it so fresh!
350
00:14:41,200 --> 00:14:43,840
When he does that,
you little gag monster!
351
00:14:43,879 --> 00:14:45,879
Well... congratulations.
352
00:14:46,759 --> 00:14:48,399
Ah! Thanks, mate.
353
00:14:48,440 --> 00:14:52,600
Yeah, I guess 300k subscribers is
quite a lot! (laughs)
354
00:14:52,639 --> 00:14:54,519
(laughs nervously)
355
00:14:54,559 --> 00:14:56,439
No! Phew. For once.
356
00:14:56,480 --> 00:14:58,480
Not my baby.
Ha ha ha.
357
00:15:00,279 --> 00:15:02,079
Will?
358
00:15:02,120 --> 00:15:03,360
Don't look at me, I haven't...
359
00:15:03,399 --> 00:15:05,839
had an accident, haven't done that
in years!
360
00:15:05,879 --> 00:15:07,159
No, your... we... Will...
361
00:15:07,200 --> 00:15:09,200
will you change the baby?
362
00:15:09,559 --> 00:15:11,559
Not part of the deal.
363
00:15:14,360 --> 00:15:16,320
(whispers) Play the daddy!
364
00:15:16,360 --> 00:15:18,360
(phone rings)
365
00:15:20,759 --> 00:15:22,759
(baby cries)
366
00:15:25,480 --> 00:15:27,480
Oh, gotta go. OK, honey...
367
00:15:27,759 --> 00:15:28,879
(whispers)
Be the daddy, be the daddy!
368
00:15:28,919 --> 00:15:30,879
You... was it.. one...
369
00:15:30,919 --> 00:15:32,919
(baby cries)
370
00:15:34,080 --> 00:15:36,080
(Satanic choral music)
371
00:15:36,240 --> 00:15:37,120
(Trish's voice) Hi Joy!
372
00:15:37,159 --> 00:15:37,999
Hi!
373
00:15:38,039 --> 00:15:41,039
Just checking in, hope everything's
OK with Olivia.
374
00:15:41,080 --> 00:15:43,320
Yeah! Olivia's in safe hands!
(baby cries)
375
00:15:43,360 --> 00:15:45,280
She's in the safest hands!
376
00:15:45,320 --> 00:15:47,320
Eh.... OK, bye!
377
00:15:49,519 --> 00:15:51,279
Oh!
378
00:15:51,320 --> 00:15:53,320
Honey... Honey-face...
379
00:15:54,320 --> 00:15:58,200
Em... could you go and change...
our baby's bum?
380
00:15:58,240 --> 00:15:59,920
Oh, gross, no way!
381
00:15:59,960 --> 00:16:01,160
No.
382
00:16:01,200 --> 00:16:03,280
(laughs) He's like a stand-up
comedian, isn't he?
383
00:16:03,319 --> 00:16:06,959
Can you take the baby?
Oh. Sure!
384
00:16:07,000 --> 00:16:08,160
Ha ha ha ha!
385
00:16:08,200 --> 00:16:09,800
He's my rock.
386
00:16:09,839 --> 00:16:11,759
He makes me feel like me,
387
00:16:11,799 --> 00:16:13,079
but better.
388
00:16:13,119 --> 00:16:14,279
Yeah, he's great.
389
00:16:14,319 --> 00:16:17,399
Do you know what? Aidan, I actually
really needed a wee anyway, so...
390
00:16:17,440 --> 00:16:20,520
Perfect! Will, I'll get it!
I'll change her!
391
00:16:20,559 --> 00:16:21,919
Will, I'll... I'll take her!
392
00:16:21,960 --> 00:16:23,000
You relax!
393
00:16:23,039 --> 00:16:24,039
He's wrecked!
394
00:16:24,079 --> 00:16:25,119
Poor guy.
395
00:16:25,160 --> 00:16:26,000
Oh!
(music)
396
00:16:26,039 --> 00:16:28,039
In.. we... pop!
397
00:16:29,240 --> 00:16:30,880
Do you want a hand?
No, no, I've got it.
398
00:16:30,920 --> 00:16:34,160
I'm literally doing this all day and
all night.
399
00:16:34,400 --> 00:16:34,880
Its arm...
400
00:16:34,920 --> 00:16:37,000
No, no, she's grand, her arm goes
that way.
401
00:16:37,039 --> 00:16:38,079
But that one, that arm...
402
00:16:38,119 --> 00:16:41,079
They're all individuals, Aidan, they
all do their own thing.
403
00:16:41,119 --> 00:16:42,119
Gas, aren't they?
404
00:16:42,160 --> 00:16:44,200
You're like a supermom!
Yeah, I am!
405
00:16:44,240 --> 00:16:45,000
Thank you!
406
00:16:45,039 --> 00:16:46,359
Oh, that's stuck there, isn't...?
Yeah, no, it's good,
407
00:16:46,400 --> 00:16:49,760
it's a new buggy that... you're
better off doing it this way with it?
408
00:16:49,799 --> 00:16:50,359
Oh yeah.
409
00:16:50,400 --> 00:16:52,840
It's just, it's new technology
with a...(groans)
410
00:16:52,880 --> 00:16:54,880
Just move that table, maybe.
411
00:16:55,039 --> 00:16:56,559
It's cool, I got it!
412
00:16:56,599 --> 00:16:58,439
Yeah! Ah, sure, I'm doing it anyway,
it's fine!
413
00:16:58,480 --> 00:16:59,560
Yeah, I have it.
414
00:16:59,599 --> 00:17:01,599
(grinding)
415
00:17:03,640 --> 00:17:04,560
Got it! Off you pop!
416
00:17:04,599 --> 00:17:05,879
I have that now, yeah!
417
00:17:05,920 --> 00:17:07,080
(baby gurgles)
418
00:17:07,119 --> 00:17:09,719
See you later, supermom!
Thank you!
419
00:17:09,920 --> 00:17:11,720
(music)
OK, OK.
420
00:17:11,759 --> 00:17:12,959
Shh shh shh!
421
00:17:13,000 --> 00:17:15,320
Hello-lo-lo-lo! Dur dur dur dur!
422
00:17:15,440 --> 00:17:17,400
Oh, this is gonna be
423
00:17:17,440 --> 00:17:20,320
absolutely perfect!
Yes, and ducks, and...
424
00:17:20,359 --> 00:17:23,439
(creak)
geese and all the different things
425
00:17:23,599 --> 00:17:25,319
(creak)
(sings) that we have to do with
426
00:17:25,359 --> 00:17:27,079
the nappies!
(creak)
427
00:17:27,119 --> 00:17:28,239
You're being rude!
428
00:17:28,279 --> 00:17:30,279
OK! Now!
429
00:17:30,440 --> 00:17:31,680
Now! We just...
430
00:17:31,720 --> 00:17:33,720
Ohhh, we're going!
431
00:17:33,799 --> 00:17:35,279
Ahhh!
432
00:17:35,319 --> 00:17:36,719
Shh shh shh shh!
(baby cries)
433
00:17:36,759 --> 00:17:38,759
Oh my God, you stink!
434
00:17:39,039 --> 00:17:40,439
Oh!
435
00:17:40,480 --> 00:17:41,720
Oh, good God!
436
00:17:41,759 --> 00:17:43,279
(baby cries)
437
00:17:43,319 --> 00:17:44,959
OK, we'll, em...
438
00:17:45,000 --> 00:17:46,400
OK, hang on...
439
00:17:46,440 --> 00:17:48,320
(sings) Ducks and geese!
440
00:17:48,359 --> 00:17:50,359
(baby cries)
441
00:17:50,880 --> 00:17:52,880
(sings) Oranges, will go...
442
00:17:53,680 --> 00:17:56,000
(gags) What's Trish feeding you?
443
00:17:57,440 --> 00:17:58,600
Oh my God!
444
00:17:58,640 --> 00:18:00,040
Ohhh my God!
445
00:18:00,079 --> 00:18:02,079
(baby cries)
446
00:18:02,160 --> 00:18:03,720
Ah!
447
00:18:03,759 --> 00:18:05,839
I think that they... self-stick.
448
00:18:05,880 --> 00:18:07,800
Oh!
449
00:18:07,839 --> 00:18:09,839
(baby cries)
I hear ya!
450
00:18:10,880 --> 00:18:12,400
I hear ya!
451
00:18:12,440 --> 00:18:13,960
I hear ya!
(baby cries)
452
00:18:14,000 --> 00:18:15,680
Shh!
453
00:18:15,720 --> 00:18:17,720
(baby cries)
454
00:18:20,880 --> 00:18:22,880
(sings) Everything nice!
455
00:18:24,400 --> 00:18:25,760
You're kidding me!
456
00:18:25,799 --> 00:18:27,799
(baby cries)
457
00:18:29,839 --> 00:18:31,599
Now!
458
00:18:31,640 --> 00:18:32,880
Sorry that took so long!
459
00:18:32,920 --> 00:18:34,480
The flap kept collapsing.
460
00:18:34,519 --> 00:18:38,039
Oh, doctors say that's extremely
common after a natural birth.
461
00:18:38,079 --> 00:18:40,519
(Sigh) Oh, listen, Joy, I'm just
gonna come straight out
462
00:18:40,559 --> 00:18:44,959
and say it, it's just so weird the
way your baby looks like Trish!
463
00:18:48,519 --> 00:18:50,519
Oh my God.
464
00:18:50,680 --> 00:18:53,680
Oh my God, I'm so sorry, Aidan!
(piano music)
465
00:18:53,720 --> 00:18:56,760
I just thought it would be fun to say
that she was mine,
466
00:18:56,799 --> 00:18:59,639
because I didn't know anybody in the
class, and then all of a sudden...
467
00:18:59,680 --> 00:19:01,680
(laughs)
468
00:19:02,000 --> 00:19:03,680
You were there.
469
00:19:03,720 --> 00:19:05,720
And you were there.
470
00:19:06,039 --> 00:19:08,039
And I...
471
00:19:08,079 --> 00:19:09,839
It's OK, Joy. I mean...
472
00:19:09,880 --> 00:19:16,600
It makes sense! You're just...
you're not a baby person.
473
00:19:16,640 --> 00:19:19,640
Well, maybe I wasn't a baby person
with you.
474
00:19:19,960 --> 00:19:21,960
(piano music)
475
00:19:24,440 --> 00:19:25,760
Maybe.
476
00:19:25,799 --> 00:19:27,519
Catch you guys later!
477
00:19:27,559 --> 00:19:29,559
Yeah, maybe.
478
00:19:33,960 --> 00:19:35,760
Idea?
479
00:19:35,799 --> 00:19:37,159
Why don't we ditch this baby idiot
480
00:19:37,200 --> 00:19:39,680
and go and make out on O'Connell...
Grafton...
481
00:19:39,720 --> 00:19:42,120
other cool Irish things like that?
482
00:19:42,599 --> 00:19:44,839
Will, I'm not ditching the baby.
483
00:19:45,359 --> 00:19:47,359
OK. Well, you know what?
484
00:19:48,119 --> 00:19:49,439
I'm outta here.
485
00:19:49,480 --> 00:19:50,680
It's been fun, Joy, it really has,
486
00:19:50,720 --> 00:19:53,120
but I've got some major Irish
landmarks to go and take selfies at
487
00:19:53,160 --> 00:19:55,000
for the fans, and eh...
488
00:19:55,039 --> 00:19:57,919
babies, you know, they're not
part of the brand!
489
00:19:57,960 --> 00:20:00,240
Make every second count,
that's what I say!
490
00:20:00,279 --> 00:20:02,279
Oh, and, eh... that baby?
491
00:20:02,839 --> 00:20:04,679
So negative!
492
00:20:04,720 --> 00:20:05,920
See you later guys, oh, and eh...
493
00:20:05,960 --> 00:20:07,280
don't forget to subscribe!
494
00:20:07,319 --> 00:20:08,279
Yeah, I won't.
495
00:20:08,319 --> 00:20:10,959
Hey, what's up, everyone, so I'm
about to go see some statues!
496
00:20:11,000 --> 00:20:13,880
Apparently all the statues in
Ireland move!
497
00:20:13,920 --> 00:20:15,920
He's so funny!
498
00:20:16,039 --> 00:20:17,119
He seems really nice.
499
00:20:17,160 --> 00:20:19,160
He is.
500
00:20:23,759 --> 00:20:27,079
Aidan, I'm really glad things
worked out for you.
501
00:20:27,119 --> 00:20:29,119
(piano music)
502
00:20:29,680 --> 00:20:31,680
It's good to see you, Joy.
503
00:20:33,519 --> 00:20:35,519
It's good to see you.
504
00:20:38,720 --> 00:20:40,600
Hey!
505
00:20:40,640 --> 00:20:42,640
Gotcha!
506
00:20:42,680 --> 00:20:44,680
(piano music)
507
00:20:49,279 --> 00:20:51,279
Ha ha!
508
00:20:57,839 --> 00:20:59,999
There's a knack to them, deffo!
509
00:21:02,960 --> 00:21:04,960
Easy peasy does it!
510
00:21:05,559 --> 00:21:07,559
(door slams)
511
00:21:08,559 --> 00:21:10,319
This is... nice.
512
00:21:10,359 --> 00:21:11,959
Mm.
513
00:21:12,000 --> 00:21:14,240
I've never had a bath with, eh...
514
00:21:14,880 --> 00:21:16,880
a girlfriend, before.
515
00:21:17,160 --> 00:21:18,120
(laughs nervously)
No.
516
00:21:18,160 --> 00:21:20,160
Yeah, deffo, like...
517
00:21:20,480 --> 00:21:22,480
Me neither.
518
00:21:24,319 --> 00:21:26,319
(music box plays)
519
00:21:28,680 --> 00:21:31,000
(door opens)
I'm here! I'm here!
520
00:21:31,839 --> 00:21:34,359
Oh fuck, how did Olivia get outside?
521
00:21:34,599 --> 00:21:36,759
Trish? Hey! How did it go today?
522
00:21:37,200 --> 00:21:39,280
Joy... the key was in the door!
523
00:21:39,480 --> 00:21:40,440
How long has it been there?
524
00:21:40,480 --> 00:21:42,280
Three? Four? Five hours?
525
00:21:42,319 --> 00:21:44,319
(whispers) Dunno!
526
00:21:44,480 --> 00:21:46,480
(sighs) You are amazing.
527
00:21:47,440 --> 00:21:49,200
(laughs)
528
00:21:49,240 --> 00:21:50,840
How do you do it?
I dunno how you do it!
529
00:21:50,880 --> 00:21:52,480
I don't think I am doing it!
530
00:21:52,519 --> 00:21:55,519
Girl. You are doing it.
531
00:21:56,240 --> 00:21:58,680
Did you find out that babies
actually aren't that "relaxing"
532
00:21:58,720 --> 00:21:59,680
after all?
533
00:21:59,720 --> 00:22:03,720
Trish, I don't care what anyone says,
parenthood is hard!
534
00:22:04,440 --> 00:22:06,480
Literally everyone says that, Joy!
535
00:22:06,519 --> 00:22:07,439
Do they?
536
00:22:07,480 --> 00:22:09,480
Yeah!
They're right!
537
00:22:12,480 --> 00:22:14,480
(piano music)
538
00:22:15,240 --> 00:22:16,680
Thank you for today, Joy.
539
00:22:16,720 --> 00:22:18,720
Thank you for trying.
540
00:22:21,440 --> 00:22:23,440
(slapping)
541
00:22:25,480 --> 00:22:27,480
Hm?
542
00:22:28,519 --> 00:22:30,519
So tired!
543
00:22:30,680 --> 00:22:32,680
(piano music)
544
00:22:35,839 --> 00:22:37,839
(swoop)
545
00:22:40,920 --> 00:22:42,920
(door slams)
546
00:22:43,039 --> 00:22:44,879
Night night, Canine Aidan.
547
00:22:44,920 --> 00:22:47,360
I know you met him today,
but I'm OK,
548
00:22:47,400 --> 00:22:49,320
because I know you're OK!
549
00:22:49,359 --> 00:22:51,359
You know, Canine Aidan...
550
00:22:52,279 --> 00:22:54,359
maybe I could be a baby person?
551
00:22:55,519 --> 00:22:57,759
I'm your baby, Joy! You lunatic!
552
00:22:58,440 --> 00:23:00,440
(music)
553
00:23:02,039 --> 00:23:04,039
Subtitles:
RTE 2020.
554
00:23:28,039 --> 00:23:30,039
.
38330
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