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These are the user uploaded subtitles that are being translated: 1 00:01:27,056 --> 00:01:47,056 Resync By ^^Lututkanan@subscene^^ 2 00:01:47,657 --> 00:01:50,125 Do you consider the book to be autobiographical? 3 00:01:51,703 --> 00:01:53,659 Well, I mean... 4 00:01:53,913 --> 00:01:56,632 ...isn't everything autobiographical? 5 00:01:56,916 --> 00:02:01,194 I mean, we all see the world through our own tiny keyhole, right? 6 00:02:01,588 --> 00:02:03,419 I mean, I always think of Thomas Wolfe. 7 00:02:03,715 --> 00:02:06,832 Have you ever seen that little one-page "Note to Reader"... 8 00:02:07,135 --> 00:02:09,171 ...in the front of Look Homeward, Angel? 9 00:02:10,055 --> 00:02:14,765 Anyway, he says that we are the sum of all the moments of our lives... 10 00:02:15,143 --> 00:02:18,772 ...and anybody who sits down to write will use the clay of their own life... 11 00:02:19,105 --> 00:02:20,584 ...that you can't avoid that. 12 00:02:20,815 --> 00:02:25,525 So when I look at my own life, I have to admit, right, that I... 13 00:02:26,029 --> 00:02:30,341 I've never been around a bunch of guns or violence, you know, not really. 14 00:02:30,742 --> 00:02:34,496 No political intrigue or a helicopter crash, right? 15 00:02:35,288 --> 00:02:39,201 But my life, from my own point of view, has been full of drama, right? 16 00:02:40,001 --> 00:02:42,356 And so I thought, if I could write a book... 17 00:02:42,670 --> 00:02:46,902 ...that could capture what it's like to really meet somebody... 18 00:02:47,300 --> 00:02:49,860 One of the most exciting things that's happened to me... 19 00:02:50,136 --> 00:02:52,331 ...is to meet somebody, make that connection. 20 00:02:52,639 --> 00:02:56,518 And if I could make that valuable, you know, to capture that... 21 00:02:57,352 --> 00:03:00,503 ...that would be the attempt, or... 22 00:03:01,189 --> 00:03:03,578 Did I answer your question? 23 00:03:04,275 --> 00:03:06,584 I'll try to be more specific. 24 00:03:07,153 --> 00:03:09,747 Was there ever a French young woman on a train you met... 25 00:03:10,031 --> 00:03:12,261 ...and spent an evening with? 26 00:03:16,246 --> 00:03:19,044 See, to me, that... I mean... 27 00:03:19,332 --> 00:03:22,642 ...that's not important, you know? - So that's a yes? 28 00:03:23,711 --> 00:03:27,545 All right, since I'm in France and this is the last stop of my book tour, yes. 29 00:03:28,508 --> 00:03:30,260 Thank you. 30 00:03:30,510 --> 00:03:33,786 Mr. Wallace, the book ends on an ambiguous note. 31 00:03:34,097 --> 00:03:35,371 We don't know. 32 00:03:35,640 --> 00:03:38,108 Do you think they get back together in six months... 33 00:03:38,476 --> 00:03:41,707 ...like they promise each other? 34 00:03:42,480 --> 00:03:44,311 Like they promised? 35 00:03:45,984 --> 00:03:48,578 I think how you answer that, you know, is... 36 00:03:49,529 --> 00:03:52,680 It's a good test, right, if you're a romantic or a cynic. 37 00:03:53,032 --> 00:03:56,866 Right? I mean, you think they get back together, right? 38 00:03:57,203 --> 00:03:58,682 - You don't, for sure. - No. 39 00:03:58,913 --> 00:04:00,824 And you hope they do, but you're not sure. 40 00:04:01,124 --> 00:04:04,639 - That's why you're asking the question. - Do you think they get back together? 41 00:04:05,003 --> 00:04:07,039 I mean, did you in real life? 42 00:04:08,590 --> 00:04:10,342 Did I in real...? 43 00:04:10,800 --> 00:04:13,268 Look, in the words of my grandfather, okay: 44 00:04:13,553 --> 00:04:16,545 "To answer that would take the piss out of the whole thing. " 45 00:04:17,557 --> 00:04:20,913 We just have the time for one last question. 46 00:04:21,269 --> 00:04:22,907 What is your next book? 47 00:04:25,565 --> 00:04:27,954 I don't know, man. I don't know. 48 00:04:28,318 --> 00:04:31,628 I've been... I've been thinking about this... 49 00:04:31,946 --> 00:04:34,540 Well, I always kind of wanted to write a book... 50 00:04:34,824 --> 00:04:38,339 ...that all took place within the space of a pop song. 51 00:04:38,703 --> 00:04:41,695 Like three or four minutes long, the whole thing. 52 00:04:42,040 --> 00:04:45,396 The story, the idea, is that there's this guy, right... 53 00:04:45,752 --> 00:04:48,346 ...and he's totally depressed. 54 00:04:48,671 --> 00:04:52,664 His great dream was to be a lover, an adventurer, you know... 55 00:04:53,009 --> 00:04:55,648 ...riding motorcycles through South America. 56 00:04:55,970 --> 00:04:58,609 And instead he's sitting at a marble table eating lobster. 57 00:04:58,890 --> 00:05:01,848 He's got a good job and a beautiful wife, right, but that... 58 00:05:02,143 --> 00:05:05,374 Everything that he needs. But that doesn't matter... 59 00:05:05,730 --> 00:05:08,563 ...because what he wants is to fight for meaning. 60 00:05:08,942 --> 00:05:11,092 You know? Happiness is in the doing, right? 61 00:05:11,403 --> 00:05:13,598 Not in the getting what you want. 62 00:05:13,905 --> 00:05:17,261 So he's sitting there, and just that second... 63 00:05:17,575 --> 00:05:21,648 ...his little 5-year-old daughter hops up on the table. 64 00:05:21,996 --> 00:05:25,147 And he knows that she should get down, because she could get hurt. 65 00:05:25,500 --> 00:05:30,016 But she's dancing to this pop song in a summer dress. 66 00:05:30,839 --> 00:05:32,750 And he looks down... 67 00:05:33,049 --> 00:05:35,438 ...and all of a sudden, he's 6. 68 00:05:36,386 --> 00:05:41,619 And his high-school sweetheart is dropping him off at home. 69 00:05:42,016 --> 00:05:45,452 And they just lost their virginity, and she loves him... 70 00:05:45,770 --> 00:05:49,558 ...and the same song is playing on the car radio. 71 00:05:49,983 --> 00:05:52,816 And she climbs up and starts dancing on the roof of the car. 72 00:05:53,153 --> 00:05:54,632 And now he's worried about her. 73 00:05:54,863 --> 00:05:58,981 And she's beautiful, with a facial expression just like his daughter's. 74 00:05:59,492 --> 00:06:01,562 In fact, maybe that's why he even likes her. 75 00:06:01,870 --> 00:06:04,668 You see, he knows he's not remembering this dance... 76 00:06:04,998 --> 00:06:08,547 ...he's there. He's there, in both moments, simultaneously. 77 00:06:08,918 --> 00:06:12,194 And just for an instant, all his life is just folding in on itself. 78 00:06:12,547 --> 00:06:15,141 And it's obvious to him that time is a lie. 79 00:06:17,552 --> 00:06:19,907 That it's all happening all the time... 80 00:06:20,180 --> 00:06:23,616 ...and inside every moment is another moment... 81 00:06:24,017 --> 00:06:25,769 ...all happening simultaneously. 82 00:06:26,061 --> 00:06:29,019 Anyway, that's kind of the idea. Anyway. 83 00:06:30,482 --> 00:06:32,757 Our author has to be going to the airport soon... 84 00:06:33,068 --> 00:06:35,866 ...so thank you all very much for coming over this afternoon. 85 00:06:36,196 --> 00:06:39,313 And a special thanks to Mr. Wallace for being with us. 86 00:06:39,657 --> 00:06:41,010 Thank you. Thank you. 87 00:06:41,242 --> 00:06:43,836 We hope to see you here again with your next book. 88 00:06:50,543 --> 00:06:53,774 Thank you all. How much longer before I have to go to the airport? 89 00:06:54,089 --> 00:06:55,647 Oh, you should leave at 7:30... 90 00:06:55,965 --> 00:06:58,399 - Seven-thirty at the very latest. - Okay. 91 00:07:03,390 --> 00:07:06,587 - Hi. - Hello. 92 00:07:09,354 --> 00:07:11,948 - How are you? - Good, and you? 93 00:07:13,858 --> 00:07:16,531 I'm good, yeah, I'm great. I'm... 94 00:07:17,445 --> 00:07:19,675 Do you wanna, maybe, get a cup of coffee? 95 00:07:20,532 --> 00:07:22,887 Didn't he just say you have a plane to catch? 96 00:07:24,035 --> 00:07:26,833 Yeah. But, I mean, I have a little time. 97 00:07:27,330 --> 00:07:30,481 - Okay. - Yeah? All right, well, let me... 98 00:07:30,834 --> 00:07:32,825 I'll meet you outside. Okay. 99 00:07:34,671 --> 00:07:36,946 Excuse me. I'm just gonna go get a cup of coffee. 100 00:07:37,257 --> 00:07:39,407 - I'll be back at 7: 5. - Did you sign all these? 101 00:07:39,676 --> 00:07:42,190 - Yeah, I sure did. - Get your driver Philippe's card... 102 00:07:42,512 --> 00:07:44,901 ...so you can call his cell if you're running late. 103 00:07:45,223 --> 00:07:47,691 We'll put your bags in the car so you're not late. 104 00:07:48,017 --> 00:07:50,451 - All right, thanks for everything. - Thank you. 105 00:07:52,897 --> 00:07:54,774 Which one's Philippe? 106 00:08:12,792 --> 00:08:15,989 - I can't believe you're here. - I live here in Paris. 107 00:08:17,547 --> 00:08:20,744 Are you sure you don't have to stay? You're not supposed to talk more? 108 00:08:21,092 --> 00:08:23,048 They're sick of me. I spent the night here. 109 00:08:23,344 --> 00:08:26,541 - You did? - Yeah, they got a loft upstairs. 110 00:08:27,057 --> 00:08:29,332 - How are you? This is so weird. - I'm fine. 111 00:08:29,642 --> 00:08:33,191 - It's good to see you. - It's good to see you. 112 00:08:35,732 --> 00:08:38,041 - So you want to go to a caf�? - Yeah. 113 00:08:38,359 --> 00:08:40,634 Okay. There's one a little further that I like. 114 00:08:40,904 --> 00:08:44,613 I thought I was gonna totally lose it in there when I first saw you. 115 00:08:44,991 --> 00:08:46,663 How did you know I was gonna be here? 116 00:08:46,951 --> 00:08:51,149 It's my favorite bookstore in Paris. You can sit down for hours and read. 117 00:08:51,498 --> 00:08:53,409 I love it. There's fleas, but, you know... 118 00:08:53,666 --> 00:08:55,941 I know. I think a cat slept on my head last night. 119 00:08:56,211 --> 00:08:58,725 I saw your picture on the calendar about a month ago... 120 00:08:59,005 --> 00:09:00,802 ...and that you were going to be here. 121 00:09:01,299 --> 00:09:04,097 It's funny, because I read an article on your book... 122 00:09:04,386 --> 00:09:08,220 ...and it sounded vaguely familiar. - Vaguely? Yeah. 123 00:09:08,765 --> 00:09:12,440 But I didn't put it all together until I saw your photo. So... 124 00:09:12,769 --> 00:09:14,839 Did you have a chance to read it? 125 00:09:15,146 --> 00:09:16,499 Yes, I... 126 00:09:16,731 --> 00:09:19,086 I was really, really surprised, as you can imagine. 127 00:09:19,401 --> 00:09:21,915 I mean, I had to read it twice, actually. 128 00:09:22,237 --> 00:09:24,193 - Yeah? - Yeah. 129 00:09:25,698 --> 00:09:28,212 No, I liked it. It's very romantic. 130 00:09:28,493 --> 00:09:31,053 I usually don't like that, but it's really well-written. 131 00:09:31,371 --> 00:09:34,249 - It's well-written. Congratulations. - All right. Thank you. 132 00:09:34,791 --> 00:09:36,588 - Wait. - What? 133 00:09:36,876 --> 00:09:40,664 Before we go anywhere, I have to ask you... 134 00:09:41,256 --> 00:09:42,769 Sure. What? 135 00:09:43,007 --> 00:09:45,885 Did you show up in Vienna that December? 136 00:09:47,846 --> 00:09:52,044 - Did you? - No, I couldn't. But did you? 137 00:09:52,392 --> 00:09:55,623 - I need to know. It's important to me. - Why, if you didn't? 138 00:09:56,146 --> 00:09:58,057 Well, did you? 139 00:09:58,314 --> 00:09:59,747 No. 140 00:10:01,443 --> 00:10:02,876 Thank God you didn't. 141 00:10:03,153 --> 00:10:04,871 - Oh, my God. - Thank God you didn't. 142 00:10:05,155 --> 00:10:08,511 Thank God I didn't and you didn't. If one of us had showed up alone... 143 00:10:08,825 --> 00:10:11,134 ...that would have sucked. - I was so concerned. 144 00:10:11,411 --> 00:10:15,120 I felt horrible about not being there, but I couldn't. My grandma died... 145 00:10:15,498 --> 00:10:17,648 ...and she was buried that day, December 6th. 146 00:10:17,959 --> 00:10:20,427 - The one in Budapest? - Yes. You remember that? 147 00:10:20,754 --> 00:10:23,427 - I remember everything. - Of course, it was in your book. 148 00:10:23,715 --> 00:10:26,866 But anyway, I was about to fly to Vienna, you know... 149 00:10:27,218 --> 00:10:31,097 ...and we heard the news about her, and of course I had to go to the funeral. 150 00:10:31,431 --> 00:10:33,103 Yeah, I'm sorry to hear that. 151 00:10:33,349 --> 00:10:36,944 I know. But you weren't there anyway. 152 00:10:37,312 --> 00:10:39,701 Wait. Why weren't you there? 153 00:10:40,023 --> 00:10:43,220 I would have been there if I could have. I made plans... 154 00:10:43,568 --> 00:10:45,684 You better have a good reason. 155 00:10:45,987 --> 00:10:47,261 What? 156 00:10:49,407 --> 00:10:50,806 Oh, no. 157 00:10:51,534 --> 00:10:53,490 No, you were there, weren't you? 158 00:10:53,787 --> 00:10:56,347 Oh, no, that's terrible! 159 00:10:56,664 --> 00:10:58,302 I'm laughing, but I don't mean it. 160 00:10:58,541 --> 00:11:00,338 Did you hate me? You must've hated me. 161 00:11:00,585 --> 00:11:02,735 - Have you been hating me all this time? - No. 162 00:11:03,004 --> 00:11:04,278 - Yes, you have. - No. 163 00:11:04,547 --> 00:11:06,299 But you can't hate me now, right? 164 00:11:06,591 --> 00:11:09,583 - I mean, my grandma... - I don't hate you. It's no big deal. 165 00:11:09,928 --> 00:11:12,362 I flew all the way over there, you blew the thing off. 166 00:11:12,680 --> 00:11:15,638 My life's been a big nosedive since, but it's not a problem. 167 00:11:15,975 --> 00:11:18,694 - No, I'm kidding. - Don't say that. I can't believe it. 168 00:11:19,020 --> 00:11:21,375 You must have been so angry with me. I'm so sorry. 169 00:11:21,648 --> 00:11:24,082 I wanted to be there, more than anything in the world. 170 00:11:24,359 --> 00:11:26,998 - Honestly, I swear... - You can't be angry, my grandmother... 171 00:11:27,278 --> 00:11:30,793 I know. I honestly thought that something like that might have happened. 172 00:11:31,116 --> 00:11:33,107 I was definitely bummed, but... 173 00:11:33,368 --> 00:11:36,917 Mostly I was mad we hadn't exchanged any phone numbers or any information. 174 00:11:37,247 --> 00:11:39,158 That was so stupid. No way to get in touch. 175 00:11:39,416 --> 00:11:41,646 - Nothing to go on. - I didn't know your last name. 176 00:11:41,918 --> 00:11:44,990 Remember, we were both afraid if we started writing and calling... 177 00:11:45,296 --> 00:11:48,686 ...that it would slowly fade out. - It definitely wasn't a slow fade. 178 00:11:49,008 --> 00:11:50,202 No, it sure wasn't. 179 00:11:50,427 --> 00:11:52,179 We wanted to pick up where we left off. 180 00:11:52,429 --> 00:11:55,660 Which would have been fine if it had worked. Oh, well. 181 00:11:57,142 --> 00:11:58,621 So... 182 00:11:59,269 --> 00:12:02,341 - How long were you in Vienna, then? - Just a couple days. 183 00:12:04,023 --> 00:12:06,093 Did you meet another girl? 184 00:12:06,401 --> 00:12:08,869 Yeah, her name was Gretchen and she was amazing. 185 00:12:09,195 --> 00:12:11,789 The book's really a composite of the two of you. 186 00:12:12,115 --> 00:12:15,744 No, I'm kidding. You wouldn't believe... I even went back to the train station. 187 00:12:16,119 --> 00:12:20,032 I put up signs of my number in the hotel in case you'd been delayed. 188 00:12:20,373 --> 00:12:22,887 - I was a total dork. - Let's go this way. Did you get any calls? 189 00:12:23,376 --> 00:12:26,334 Just a couple hookers looking for a gig. 190 00:12:26,671 --> 00:12:29,105 No, it was awful, I mean, what do you want me to say? 191 00:12:29,382 --> 00:12:30,735 It's so sad. I'm so sorry. 192 00:12:31,009 --> 00:12:33,967 I walked around for a couple days. Eventually, I flew home. 193 00:12:34,304 --> 00:12:36,454 I owed my dad 2000 bucks... 194 00:12:36,765 --> 00:12:38,676 ...who had warned me about French chicks. 195 00:12:38,975 --> 00:12:40,772 What did he tell you about French women? 196 00:12:41,061 --> 00:12:43,052 Nothing. He's never met any French women. 197 00:12:43,354 --> 00:12:45,504 He's never been east of the Mississippi. 198 00:12:45,774 --> 00:12:49,847 Why didn't you put, "Six months later, the French bitch didn't show up"? 199 00:12:50,195 --> 00:12:51,708 No, but I did, I did. 200 00:12:51,988 --> 00:12:54,786 - You did? - Yeah. No. I made it more hopeful. 201 00:12:55,116 --> 00:12:57,550 I wrote this fictional version where you do show up. 202 00:12:57,869 --> 00:13:00,224 - Oh, what happens? - Well... 203 00:13:01,623 --> 00:13:03,181 What? 204 00:13:03,666 --> 00:13:06,544 We make love for about 0 days straight, that's one part of it. 205 00:13:06,836 --> 00:13:09,509 - Interesting. So the French slut, right? - Yeah, exactly. 206 00:13:09,839 --> 00:13:12,228 It's just then they get to know each other better... 207 00:13:12,509 --> 00:13:14,420 ...and realize they don't get along at all. 208 00:13:14,719 --> 00:13:17,870 - I like that. It's more real. - My editor didn't think that way. 209 00:13:18,181 --> 00:13:20,217 Everyone wants to believe in love. It sells. 210 00:13:20,475 --> 00:13:22,386 Yeah, exactly, so... 211 00:13:23,186 --> 00:13:25,654 So things are going well for you, right? I mean... 212 00:13:25,980 --> 00:13:29,052 - Your book is a bestseller in the U. S. - It's a tiny bestseller. 213 00:13:29,401 --> 00:13:31,312 - Oh, come on. - All right. Officially, yes. 214 00:13:31,611 --> 00:13:34,603 Most people haven't read Moby Dick. Why should they read my book? 215 00:13:34,906 --> 00:13:37,056 I haven't read Moby Dick and I liked your book. 216 00:13:37,325 --> 00:13:39,520 - Thanks. - Even though... 217 00:13:39,828 --> 00:13:42,467 ...I thought you idealized the night of it. 218 00:13:42,789 --> 00:13:44,427 Come on, it's fiction, right? 219 00:13:44,666 --> 00:13:46,258 - I'm supposed to... - I know, I know. 220 00:13:46,543 --> 00:13:49,615 I know. I thought there were times where you made me... 221 00:13:49,963 --> 00:13:54,161 Well, I mean, her, right? No, me. Okay, whatever. 222 00:13:54,509 --> 00:13:57,467 - A little bit neurotic. - You are a bit like that, aren't you? 223 00:13:57,804 --> 00:14:00,921 - You think I'm neurotic? - No, no, no. Come on, I'm kidding. 224 00:14:01,224 --> 00:14:03,021 Where did I do that? I didn't do that. 225 00:14:03,268 --> 00:14:05,862 Oh, maybe it's just me, you know... 226 00:14:06,146 --> 00:14:09,058 Reading something, knowing the character is based on you... 227 00:14:09,399 --> 00:14:11,959 ...it's both flattering and disturbing at the same time. 228 00:14:12,277 --> 00:14:13,710 How is it disturbing? 229 00:14:13,987 --> 00:14:18,026 I don't know. Just being part of someone else's memory. 230 00:14:18,366 --> 00:14:20,880 Seeing myself through your eyes. 231 00:14:21,161 --> 00:14:23,470 How long did it take you to write it? 232 00:14:24,539 --> 00:14:26,257 Three or four years, on and off. 233 00:14:26,541 --> 00:14:29,578 Wow, that's a really long time to be writing about one night. 234 00:14:29,919 --> 00:14:32,479 Yeah, I know. Tell me about it. 235 00:14:32,881 --> 00:14:35,236 I always assumed you had forgotten me. 236 00:14:35,759 --> 00:14:38,398 No, I had a pretty clear picture of you in my mind. 237 00:14:38,720 --> 00:14:41,029 - I have to tell you something. I just... - What? 238 00:14:41,306 --> 00:14:44,935 I've wanted to talk to you for so long that now... It's just surreal, you know? 239 00:14:45,310 --> 00:14:46,982 I feel like everything should be... 240 00:14:47,228 --> 00:14:49,537 How long do we have? Twenty minutes and 30 seconds? 241 00:14:49,856 --> 00:14:52,051 We got more than that. I wanna know about you. 242 00:14:52,358 --> 00:14:54,872 Tell me, what are you doing? What are you up to? 243 00:14:55,195 --> 00:14:59,632 Where to start? I work for Green Cross. It's an environmental organization. 244 00:15:00,033 --> 00:15:01,307 What are they all about? 245 00:15:01,576 --> 00:15:04,044 We basically work on different environment issues... 246 00:15:04,329 --> 00:15:06,843 ...from clean water to disarmament of chemical weapons. 247 00:15:07,123 --> 00:15:09,478 International laws that deal with the environment. 248 00:15:09,751 --> 00:15:12,026 - What do you do for them? - We're going this way. 249 00:15:12,545 --> 00:15:13,819 Different things. 250 00:15:14,089 --> 00:15:17,798 Like, last year I was in India for a while, working on a water-treatment plant. 251 00:15:18,760 --> 00:15:21,957 Well, the cotton industry there is a major source of pollution, so... 252 00:15:22,263 --> 00:15:25,061 I mean, it sounds like you're actually doing something. 253 00:15:25,392 --> 00:15:28,702 Most people, myself included, just sit around and bitch. 254 00:15:29,020 --> 00:15:33,491 You know, how America's consuming all the world's resources, SUVs suck... 255 00:15:33,858 --> 00:15:35,177 ...global warming is real... 256 00:15:35,443 --> 00:15:38,674 I'm relieved to hear you're not one of those "freedom fries" Americans. 257 00:15:38,988 --> 00:15:41,297 Hey, you know... But how'd you get into that? 258 00:15:41,574 --> 00:15:44,725 I came out of political science, hoping to work for the government. 259 00:15:45,078 --> 00:15:47,672 - And I did for a little while. Terrible. - Not good? 260 00:15:47,997 --> 00:15:51,467 Yeah, no. Anyway, I got really tired... Let's go this way. 261 00:15:51,835 --> 00:15:54,030 Having this endless conversation with friends... 262 00:15:54,295 --> 00:15:56,445 ...about how the world was falling to pieces. 263 00:15:56,756 --> 00:15:59,065 So I decided what I really wanted to do was... 264 00:15:59,384 --> 00:16:02,581 ...to find things that could be fixed and try to fix them, you know? 265 00:16:02,929 --> 00:16:06,524 You know, I always thought you'd be doing something cool like that. I did. 266 00:16:06,891 --> 00:16:11,601 Thanks. I just feel really, really lucky to be doing a job I like, you know? 267 00:16:12,021 --> 00:16:13,420 Yeah. 268 00:16:13,648 --> 00:16:18,199 I actually alternate in between thinking everything is irrevocably screwed up... 269 00:16:18,570 --> 00:16:20,765 ...and things might be getting better in ways. 270 00:16:21,072 --> 00:16:23,381 Better? How could you possibly say that? 271 00:16:23,658 --> 00:16:25,376 Well, I just mean, you know, like... 272 00:16:25,618 --> 00:16:29,133 I know it sounds weird, but there are things to be optimistic about. 273 00:16:29,497 --> 00:16:34,013 Okay... I know your book is selling, which is great, I'm very happy for you. 274 00:16:34,419 --> 00:16:37,536 But let me break the news to you: The world is a mess right now. 275 00:16:37,881 --> 00:16:40,270 From a Western view, things are getting a bit better. 276 00:16:40,592 --> 00:16:44,028 We're moving industry to developing nations where we can get cheap labor... 277 00:16:44,387 --> 00:16:47,504 ...free of any environmental laws. The weapon industry is booming. 278 00:16:47,807 --> 00:16:50,640 Five million people die a year from preventable water disease. 279 00:16:50,977 --> 00:16:53,855 How is the world getting better? I'm not angry, I'm not angry. 280 00:16:54,189 --> 00:16:56,180 But come on, I want to know. I'm interested. 281 00:16:56,483 --> 00:16:59,839 I realize that there are a lot of serious problems in the world. 282 00:17:00,195 --> 00:17:02,345 - Okay. Thank you. - I mean, I don't even have... 283 00:17:02,655 --> 00:17:05,886 ...one publisher in the Asian market. - Okay. All right. 284 00:17:06,701 --> 00:17:09,534 - Say stop. - What? Stop. 285 00:17:09,829 --> 00:17:13,583 Look, all I'm saying is there's more awareness. People are gonna fight back. 286 00:17:13,917 --> 00:17:16,795 The world might be getting better because people like you... 287 00:17:17,087 --> 00:17:18,645 ...are educated and speaking out. 288 00:17:19,172 --> 00:17:22,369 Even the very notion of conservation, environmental issues... 289 00:17:22,717 --> 00:17:24,992 ...weren't in the vocabulary till fairly recently. 290 00:17:25,261 --> 00:17:29,174 And they're becoming the norm and eventually might be what's expected. 291 00:17:29,557 --> 00:17:32,390 I agree with what you're saying, but at the same time it's dangerous. 292 00:17:32,727 --> 00:17:35,241 An imperialist country can use that kind of thinking... 293 00:17:35,522 --> 00:17:37,592 ...to justify their economic greed. 294 00:17:39,150 --> 00:17:43,029 Is there any particular imperialist country you have in mind, there, Frenchie? 295 00:17:43,363 --> 00:17:45,479 - No, not really. - No? 296 00:17:50,995 --> 00:17:54,351 - So you wanna sit over there? - Yeah, this is perfect. 297 00:17:54,874 --> 00:17:57,513 Oh, wow. Maybe what I'm saying is... 298 00:17:57,836 --> 00:18:00,634 ...the world might be evolving the way a person evolves. 299 00:18:00,922 --> 00:18:03,834 Like, I mean, me, for example. Am I getting worse? 300 00:18:04,134 --> 00:18:08,173 Am I improving? I don't know. When I was younger, I was healthier... 301 00:18:08,513 --> 00:18:10,902 ...but I was wracked with insecurity, you know? 302 00:18:11,641 --> 00:18:13,632 Now I'm older and my problems are deeper... 303 00:18:13,893 --> 00:18:15,690 ...but I'm more equipped to handle them. 304 00:18:16,521 --> 00:18:18,591 So, what are your problems? 305 00:18:20,233 --> 00:18:24,545 Right now I don't have any. I don't, you know? I'm just... 306 00:18:24,904 --> 00:18:26,576 ...damn happy to be here. 307 00:18:27,073 --> 00:18:28,586 Me too. 308 00:18:31,661 --> 00:18:33,811 So how long have you been in Paris? 309 00:18:34,122 --> 00:18:37,398 I got in last night. I've done 0 cities in 2 days. 310 00:18:37,751 --> 00:18:39,981 I'm wrecked. I'm so glad it's over, you know? 311 00:18:40,295 --> 00:18:41,694 I'm tired of being a huckster. 312 00:18:42,338 --> 00:18:43,771 - Hi. - Hello. 313 00:18:44,049 --> 00:18:45,482 What do you want? 314 00:18:45,759 --> 00:18:47,636 A cup of coffee. 315 00:18:51,473 --> 00:18:55,068 God, I love this caf�. I wish they had places like this in the U. S. 316 00:18:55,643 --> 00:18:58,032 Yeah, I missed caf�s when I was living over there. 317 00:18:58,354 --> 00:19:01,107 I mean, I find a few places I really liked, but there was... 318 00:19:01,441 --> 00:19:05,275 - You were living in the U. S.? - Yes, from '96 to '99. 319 00:19:05,653 --> 00:19:07,166 I was studying at NYU. 320 00:19:07,614 --> 00:19:10,128 Oh, God, don't tell me that, Celine. 321 00:19:10,450 --> 00:19:12,406 - What? - No, it's just... 322 00:19:12,702 --> 00:19:14,340 - Nothing, I mean, I... - What? 323 00:19:14,579 --> 00:19:17,810 I've been living in New York since '98. We were there at the same time. 324 00:19:18,124 --> 00:19:19,637 - In New York? - Yeah. 325 00:19:19,876 --> 00:19:24,392 That's weird. It actually crossed my mind a few times that I might run into you... 326 00:19:24,756 --> 00:19:26,986 ...but the odds are so slim, right? So... 327 00:19:27,675 --> 00:19:29,506 I didn't even know what city you were in. 328 00:19:29,761 --> 00:19:33,117 - Weren't you somewhere in Texas? - Yeah, yeah, definitely. I just... 329 00:19:33,473 --> 00:19:36,829 I was for a long time. I just, you know, wanted to try New York. 330 00:19:39,020 --> 00:19:40,612 What brought you back here? 331 00:19:40,897 --> 00:19:42,808 I had finished my master's, for one... 332 00:19:43,108 --> 00:19:45,224 ...and no visa, no more visa. 333 00:19:45,527 --> 00:19:49,725 And I was starting to get paranoid. All the violence in the medias: 334 00:19:50,073 --> 00:19:53,190 Gang violence, murders, especially serial killers... 335 00:19:54,953 --> 00:19:56,545 But the final straw was... 336 00:19:56,830 --> 00:19:59,583 ...one night I heard some noise on my fire escape... 337 00:19:59,916 --> 00:20:02,350 ...so I called 9, and the cops came eventually. 338 00:20:02,669 --> 00:20:06,025 - Like three hours later. - Yeah, after I had been raped and killed. 339 00:20:06,798 --> 00:20:09,187 No, but it was a man and a woman officer. 340 00:20:09,509 --> 00:20:11,420 I was explaining what I had heard... 341 00:20:11,720 --> 00:20:13,915 ...when the woman had to go move the police car. 342 00:20:14,180 --> 00:20:15,818 I was left alone with the male cop. 343 00:20:16,057 --> 00:20:20,335 Right away he asked me if I had a gun, and I said, "No, of course not. " 344 00:20:20,729 --> 00:20:23,482 And he told me, "Well, you better think about getting one. 345 00:20:23,815 --> 00:20:27,012 This is America, not France. Okay?" 346 00:20:27,318 --> 00:20:30,310 And I said to him, "I have no idea how to shoot a gun... 347 00:20:30,655 --> 00:20:33,044 ...and I have no interest in firearms whatsoever. " 348 00:20:33,366 --> 00:20:36,995 And that's when he pulled out his gun, like this, and he went: 349 00:20:37,370 --> 00:20:42,603 "Well, one day, you're gonna have something like this in your face... 350 00:20:43,084 --> 00:20:45,314 ...and if you wanna have a long life... 351 00:20:46,004 --> 00:20:49,633 ...you're gonna have to choose between you or them. " 352 00:20:50,884 --> 00:20:55,082 And then they left. And the next morning I called for an application to get a gun. 353 00:20:55,472 --> 00:20:57,861 Me with a gun. I mean, that's really scary. 354 00:20:58,183 --> 00:21:00,219 But then I realized something was wrong. 355 00:21:00,518 --> 00:21:03,908 The way that cop had pulled his gun out, and everything, right? 356 00:21:04,272 --> 00:21:06,024 So I canceled my demand for the gun... 357 00:21:06,274 --> 00:21:09,266 ...and I called the police and tried to complain about that cop. 358 00:21:09,569 --> 00:21:12,037 - What happened with that? - It was so much paperwork... 359 00:21:12,322 --> 00:21:15,041 ...and then I got scared, with my shitty student visa... 360 00:21:15,325 --> 00:21:17,634 - Thought you'd get deported? - Exactly. I gave up... 361 00:21:17,911 --> 00:21:19,629 ...and forgot about the whole thing. 362 00:21:19,913 --> 00:21:23,349 - Well, I guess I never forgot. - Obviously. 363 00:21:23,708 --> 00:21:26,142 But still, you know, I really enjoyed being there. 364 00:21:26,461 --> 00:21:29,453 - There's lots of things I miss in the U. S. - Yeah? Like what? 365 00:21:31,549 --> 00:21:33,062 Well... 366 00:21:33,343 --> 00:21:35,732 The overall good mood people have there. 367 00:21:36,054 --> 00:21:38,045 Like, even if it can be bullshit sometimes. 368 00:21:38,306 --> 00:21:40,979 Like, "How you doing?" "Great. " "How you doing?" "Great!" 369 00:21:41,518 --> 00:21:43,554 "Have a great day!" 370 00:21:44,062 --> 00:21:47,532 I don't know. Parisians can be so grumpy. Have you noticed? 371 00:21:47,899 --> 00:21:50,413 No, everybody seems pretty happy to me. 372 00:21:51,236 --> 00:21:54,034 - They're not happy. No. - They're not happy? 373 00:21:54,322 --> 00:21:57,553 No, they are. I don't know. I just mean French men. They drive me nuts. 374 00:21:57,909 --> 00:21:59,228 What is it? What about them? 375 00:21:59,619 --> 00:22:02,497 Well, they're very nice. They're great, you know, to be around. 376 00:22:02,831 --> 00:22:04,742 They love food, wine, they're great cooks. 377 00:22:04,999 --> 00:22:06,910 But I've had really bad luck with them. 378 00:22:07,168 --> 00:22:08,726 Why? What do you mean? 379 00:22:09,629 --> 00:22:12,507 - Well, I guess they're not as... - What? 380 00:22:12,841 --> 00:22:14,354 What's the word? 381 00:22:15,468 --> 00:22:18,619 - Horny? They're not as horny. - Horny? 382 00:22:18,972 --> 00:22:23,090 Wait, listen to me on this one. In that regard, I am proud to be an American. 383 00:22:23,435 --> 00:22:25,266 And you should be. In that regard only. 384 00:22:26,521 --> 00:22:28,432 Have you ever spent time in Eastern Europe? 385 00:22:28,982 --> 00:22:31,371 Eastern... No, I don't. Thank you. 386 00:22:32,527 --> 00:22:34,995 I remember as a teenager I went to Warsaw... 387 00:22:35,280 --> 00:22:37,714 ...when it was still a strict communist regime. 388 00:22:38,032 --> 00:22:40,307 - Which I don't approve of at all. - Sure you don't. 389 00:22:40,618 --> 00:22:42,529 - No, I don't. - I'm just kidding. 390 00:22:42,787 --> 00:22:45,585 But anyway, something about being there was very interesting. 391 00:22:45,874 --> 00:22:48,991 After a couple of weeks, something changed in me. 392 00:22:49,294 --> 00:22:52,331 The city was quite gloomy and gray... 393 00:22:52,630 --> 00:22:55,269 ...but after a while, my brain seemed clearer. 394 00:22:55,550 --> 00:22:57,142 I was writing more in my journal... 395 00:22:57,427 --> 00:23:00,464 ...ideas I'd never thought of before... - Communist ideas? 396 00:23:00,805 --> 00:23:02,875 - Listen, I'm not... - I'm sorry, I... 397 00:23:03,183 --> 00:23:04,855 - Okay. - Go on. 398 00:23:05,143 --> 00:23:07,611 Okay. I'll send you to a gulag later. 399 00:23:07,896 --> 00:23:11,206 No. But it took me a while to figure out why I felt so different. 400 00:23:11,524 --> 00:23:14,084 One day, as I was walking through the Jewish cemetery... 401 00:23:14,360 --> 00:23:16,191 ...I don't know why, but it occurred to me there... 402 00:23:16,446 --> 00:23:20,155 ...I realized that I had spent the last two weeks away from most of my habits. 403 00:23:20,492 --> 00:23:22,403 TV was in a language I didn't understand... 404 00:23:22,660 --> 00:23:25,299 ...there was nothing to buy, no advertisements anywhere... 405 00:23:25,580 --> 00:23:27,138 ...so all I'd been doing was... 406 00:23:27,374 --> 00:23:31,925 ...walk around, think, and write. My brain felt like it was at rest... 407 00:23:32,337 --> 00:23:35,773 ...free from the consuming frenzy. It was almost like a natural high. 408 00:23:36,132 --> 00:23:40,489 I felt so peaceful inside. No strange urge to be somewhere else... 409 00:23:40,887 --> 00:23:42,161 ...to shop... 410 00:23:42,430 --> 00:23:44,466 It could have seemed like boredom at first... 411 00:23:44,724 --> 00:23:46,442 ...but it became very, very soulful. 412 00:23:47,519 --> 00:23:48,998 It was interesting, you know? 413 00:23:49,229 --> 00:23:52,426 Can you believe it was nine years ago we were walking around Vienna? 414 00:23:53,066 --> 00:23:56,615 - Nine years? No, that's impossible. - No, it was. It feels like two months. 415 00:23:56,986 --> 00:23:58,817 But it was summer '94. 416 00:24:01,116 --> 00:24:03,311 Do I look any different? 417 00:24:04,994 --> 00:24:06,632 I do? 418 00:24:07,497 --> 00:24:08,691 I'd have to see you naked. 419 00:24:09,124 --> 00:24:11,001 - What? - I know, I'm sorry. 420 00:24:11,292 --> 00:24:13,567 Your hair was different back then. It was like... 421 00:24:13,837 --> 00:24:16,146 - It's the same... Oh, down. - Yeah, take it down. 422 00:24:16,423 --> 00:24:18,095 Down. Okay, it was down. Okay. 423 00:24:18,383 --> 00:24:20,453 Well? Voil�. 424 00:24:20,802 --> 00:24:22,235 So? 425 00:24:24,347 --> 00:24:25,746 Okay, come on. Tell me. 426 00:24:29,811 --> 00:24:32,279 Skinnier, I think. A little thinner. 427 00:24:33,440 --> 00:24:34,919 Did you think I was fat before? 428 00:24:35,191 --> 00:24:37,989 - No... - Yeah, you thought I was a fatty. 429 00:24:38,319 --> 00:24:42,198 No, you thought I was a fatty. You wrote a book about a fat French girl. 430 00:24:42,532 --> 00:24:44,363 - No, listen. - Oh, no. 431 00:24:44,659 --> 00:24:46,695 Seriously, all right? You look beautiful. 432 00:24:46,995 --> 00:24:48,906 Do I look any different? 433 00:24:49,330 --> 00:24:52,720 No. Not at all. Actually, you have this line. 434 00:24:53,084 --> 00:24:55,393 - I know. - It's like a scar. 435 00:24:55,712 --> 00:24:59,944 - A scar? Like a gunshot wound? - No, no, no. I like it. I'm sorry. 436 00:25:01,468 --> 00:25:06,064 I had this funny... Well, horrible dream the other day. 437 00:25:07,307 --> 00:25:11,186 I was having this awful nightmare that I was 32. 438 00:25:11,519 --> 00:25:14,591 And then I woke up, and I was 23. So relieved. 439 00:25:14,939 --> 00:25:17,407 And then I woke up for real, and I was 32. 440 00:25:17,734 --> 00:25:20,089 - Shit, man. It happens. - Scary. 441 00:25:20,403 --> 00:25:22,963 Time goes faster and faster. Apparently, it's because... 442 00:25:23,239 --> 00:25:26,549 ...we don't renew synapses after our 20s, so it's downhill from then on. 443 00:25:27,869 --> 00:25:30,747 I like getting older, you know? Life feels... 444 00:25:31,164 --> 00:25:34,554 I don't know, it feels more immediate. Like I can appreciate things more. 445 00:25:35,585 --> 00:25:38,053 No, me too, actually. I really love it. 446 00:25:38,630 --> 00:25:40,348 I was once... 447 00:25:40,632 --> 00:25:41,951 ...a drummer in a band. 448 00:25:42,217 --> 00:25:44,685 - You were? - Yeah. We were pretty good, actually. 449 00:25:45,011 --> 00:25:49,050 But the lead-singer guy, he was just so obsessed with us getting a record deal. 450 00:25:49,391 --> 00:25:52,224 It's all we talked about, thought about, getting bigger shows. 451 00:25:52,560 --> 00:25:55,916 Everything was just focused on the future all the time. And now... 452 00:25:56,231 --> 00:25:58,028 ...the band doesn't even exist anymore. 453 00:25:58,274 --> 00:26:00,549 And looking back at the shows we did play... 454 00:26:00,819 --> 00:26:03,617 ...even rehearsing, it was just so much fun. 455 00:26:03,905 --> 00:26:07,944 I just... Now I'd enjoy every minute of it. Could I have a drag of that? 456 00:26:08,368 --> 00:26:11,280 Well, your book has been published. That's a pretty big deal. 457 00:26:11,621 --> 00:26:14,738 You've been all around Europe. Are you enjoying every minute of it? 458 00:26:15,583 --> 00:26:17,380 - Not really. - Not really? 459 00:26:17,669 --> 00:26:18,988 No. 460 00:26:19,587 --> 00:26:22,147 - Do you have another one of those? - Yes, of course. 461 00:26:24,342 --> 00:26:25,821 Here. 462 00:26:26,761 --> 00:26:29,753 In my field, I see these people that... Oh, sorry. 463 00:26:30,098 --> 00:26:32,532 Come into it with big, idealist visions... 464 00:26:32,809 --> 00:26:35,448 ...of becoming the leader that will create a better world. 465 00:26:35,729 --> 00:26:37,845 They enjoy the goal, but not the process. 466 00:26:38,148 --> 00:26:39,945 - Right. - But the reality of it is... 467 00:26:40,191 --> 00:26:43,467 ...the true work of improving things is in the little achievements. 468 00:26:43,820 --> 00:26:46,653 - That's what you need to enjoy. - What do you mean, exactly? 469 00:26:46,990 --> 00:26:50,426 I was working for this organization that helped villages in Mexico. 470 00:26:51,244 --> 00:26:53,633 And their concerns was how to get the pencils... 471 00:26:53,913 --> 00:26:56,222 ...sent to the kid in those little country schools. 472 00:26:56,499 --> 00:27:00,174 It was not about big, revolutionary ideas. It was about pencils. 473 00:27:00,712 --> 00:27:04,022 I see the people that do the real work, and what's really sad is that... 474 00:27:04,549 --> 00:27:06,983 ...the people that are the most giving, hardworking... 475 00:27:07,260 --> 00:27:09,376 ...and capable of making this world better... 476 00:27:09,679 --> 00:27:12,671 ...usually don't have the ego and ambition to be a leader. 477 00:27:13,016 --> 00:27:15,530 They don't see any interest in superficial rewards. 478 00:27:15,852 --> 00:27:18,764 They don't care if their name ever appear in the press. 479 00:27:19,105 --> 00:27:21,778 They actually enjoy the process of helping others. 480 00:27:22,108 --> 00:27:24,702 - They're in the moment. - Yeah, but that's so hard... 481 00:27:24,986 --> 00:27:27,784 ...you know, to be in the moment. I mean, I feel like I'm... 482 00:27:28,073 --> 00:27:31,907 ...designed to be slightly dissatisfied with everything, you know? 483 00:27:32,243 --> 00:27:34,632 It's like always trying to better my situation. 484 00:27:34,954 --> 00:27:38,264 I satisfy one desire, and it just agitates another. 485 00:27:38,583 --> 00:27:41,973 And then I think, to hell with it, right? Desire's the fuel of life. 486 00:27:42,295 --> 00:27:45,014 You know? Do you think it's true... 487 00:27:45,340 --> 00:27:48,138 ...that if we never wanted anything, we'd never be unhappy? 488 00:27:48,468 --> 00:27:53,303 I don't know. Not wanting anything, isn't that a symptom of depression? 489 00:27:53,681 --> 00:27:57,151 Yeah, that is, right? I mean, it's healthy to desire, right? 490 00:27:57,519 --> 00:28:00,989 Yeah. I don't know. It's what all those Buddhist guys say, right? 491 00:28:01,356 --> 00:28:03,631 Liberate yourself from desire, and you'll find... 492 00:28:03,900 --> 00:28:06,972 ...you already have everything you need. - But I feel alive... 493 00:28:07,320 --> 00:28:09,993 ...when I want something more than basic survival needs. 494 00:28:10,281 --> 00:28:13,000 Wanting, whether it's intimacy with another person... 495 00:28:13,326 --> 00:28:14,998 ...or a pair of shoes, is beautiful. 496 00:28:15,286 --> 00:28:18,676 I like that we have those ever-renewing desires, you know? 497 00:28:19,040 --> 00:28:20,678 Maybe it's this sense of entitlement. 498 00:28:20,959 --> 00:28:24,554 You know, like whenever you feel like you deserve that new pair of shoes? 499 00:28:24,921 --> 00:28:28,630 It's okay to want things, as long as you aren't pissed off if you don't get them. 500 00:28:28,967 --> 00:28:30,764 Life's hard. It's supposed to be. 501 00:28:31,052 --> 00:28:33,930 If we didn't suffer, we wouldn't learn a thing, you know? 502 00:28:35,432 --> 00:28:37,263 So, what, are you Buddhist, or something? 503 00:28:38,393 --> 00:28:40,953 - No. - No? Why not? 504 00:28:41,479 --> 00:28:46,030 I don't know. The same reason I don't really consider myself anything, really. 505 00:28:46,609 --> 00:28:49,885 I decided a long time ago that I was gonna be open to everything... 506 00:28:50,238 --> 00:28:52,627 ...but not buy into any one and only belief system. 507 00:28:54,367 --> 00:28:57,359 I went to this Trappist monastery a couple years ago. 508 00:28:58,079 --> 00:29:01,788 - Trappist? - Yeah, they're Catholic. Cistercian. 509 00:29:02,208 --> 00:29:05,678 - Why did you do that? - Why? I'd been doing some reading. 510 00:29:06,046 --> 00:29:09,721 Thought it'd be cool. Have you ever spent any time with monks or nuns? 511 00:29:10,216 --> 00:29:13,413 - No. It's not really my style. - No? 512 00:29:14,345 --> 00:29:18,224 Well, I expected them to be all glowering and stern, but they weren't. 513 00:29:18,600 --> 00:29:21,068 They were quick to laugh, really easy to be around. 514 00:29:21,394 --> 00:29:24,272 Seriously, very attuned to everything, they were just... 515 00:29:24,647 --> 00:29:26,956 You know, they weren't trying to hustle anybody. 516 00:29:27,275 --> 00:29:29,664 They're trying to live and die in peace with God... 517 00:29:29,986 --> 00:29:32,375 ...or whatever part of them they feel is eternal. 518 00:29:32,697 --> 00:29:34,574 It was just so refreshing to be around. 519 00:29:34,824 --> 00:29:37,213 You realize that most of the people that you meet... 520 00:29:37,494 --> 00:29:39,212 ...are trying to get somewhere better. 521 00:29:39,454 --> 00:29:42,526 They're trying to make more cash, get a little more respect... 522 00:29:42,874 --> 00:29:45,183 ...have more people admire them. It's exhausting. 523 00:29:45,502 --> 00:29:48,494 - No kidding. - And it's exhausting to be one yourself. 524 00:29:48,838 --> 00:29:52,069 There I am, right, you know, all greedy to be more spiritual. 525 00:29:52,384 --> 00:29:55,820 "I want to be a better person," you know? You can't escape. 526 00:29:56,137 --> 00:30:02,053 I had this boyfriend of mine many years ago that wanted to be a Buddhist. 527 00:30:02,685 --> 00:30:05,119 So he went to Asia to visit some of those monasteries. 528 00:30:05,438 --> 00:30:08,987 - I've thought about doing that too. - Yeah, you should. I'll tell you why. 529 00:30:09,359 --> 00:30:12,590 He was good-looking, and each time he went to one of the monasteries... 530 00:30:12,904 --> 00:30:15,418 ...a monk offered to suck his cock. 531 00:30:15,740 --> 00:30:17,378 True story. 532 00:30:17,909 --> 00:30:20,707 It all comes down to that, doesn't it? 533 00:30:21,037 --> 00:30:23,107 That's why I really admire what you're doing. 534 00:30:23,415 --> 00:30:25,451 - You know? - What do you mean? Sucking cock? 535 00:30:25,750 --> 00:30:28,787 - No. - No? Wrong answer. 536 00:30:29,087 --> 00:30:32,716 No, I was gonna say you're not detached from life. 537 00:30:33,091 --> 00:30:35,400 You're putting your passion into action. 538 00:30:35,719 --> 00:30:38,279 Well, I try. 539 00:30:39,013 --> 00:30:42,244 You know something? I'm gonna be on planes... 540 00:30:42,559 --> 00:30:44,789 ...and in an airport for the next eight hours... 541 00:30:45,103 --> 00:30:47,378 I'd just love to see a little bit more of Paris. 542 00:30:47,772 --> 00:30:49,171 - Would you walk with me? - Yeah. 543 00:30:49,399 --> 00:30:50,673 - Do you mind? - That's great. 544 00:30:50,942 --> 00:30:52,773 - Do you want to? - Let's do that. Yeah. 545 00:30:53,069 --> 00:30:54,821 What do we owe here? Four-fifty? 546 00:30:55,113 --> 00:30:57,547 No, I got it, I got a little per diem going on here. 547 00:30:57,824 --> 00:30:59,974 - This good, for a tip? - Yeah, that's fine. 548 00:31:00,285 --> 00:31:02,515 - That's more than enough. - Throw that in too. 549 00:31:02,871 --> 00:31:06,227 - Is there anywhere to go around here? - It's sales day today. 550 00:31:06,583 --> 00:31:09,381 - What's that? - It's when everything's on sale in Paris. 551 00:31:10,003 --> 00:31:11,356 It's twice a year. 552 00:31:13,923 --> 00:31:15,515 All right, let's go shopping. 553 00:31:15,759 --> 00:31:18,751 No, no, no. That's a bad idea. I don't wanna inflict that on you. 554 00:31:19,095 --> 00:31:22,849 It's madness. Let's just go to this garden path. It's really nice. 555 00:31:23,349 --> 00:31:25,658 All right. That sounds better than shopping, actually. 556 00:31:25,935 --> 00:31:27,971 Not that I wouldn't do whatever you wanted. 557 00:31:28,229 --> 00:31:31,107 Sometimes I don't even need to buy anything. I just get high... 558 00:31:31,399 --> 00:31:33,117 ...on trying on and looking at things. 559 00:31:33,359 --> 00:31:35,077 Is this where we're going? 560 00:31:35,320 --> 00:31:37,470 - Yeah. - A therapist will tell you that's good. 561 00:31:37,739 --> 00:31:40,014 - Really? Are you ever in therapy? - Oh, no. 562 00:31:40,325 --> 00:31:43,237 - Do I seem like I'm in therapy? - I'm kidding. 563 00:31:43,787 --> 00:31:47,462 - Does it help your sex problems? - My sex problems? 564 00:31:47,791 --> 00:31:49,270 - I'm kidding. - Tell me the truth. 565 00:31:49,542 --> 00:31:51,692 - We didn't have any problems. - No, I'm kidding. 566 00:31:52,003 --> 00:31:54,358 - We didn't even have sex. - That's a joke, right? 567 00:31:54,672 --> 00:31:57,232 No, we didn't. I mean, that was the whole thing. 568 00:31:57,509 --> 00:31:59,465 - Of course we did. - No, no, no, we didn't. 569 00:31:59,761 --> 00:32:02,434 You didn't have a condom and I never have sex without one. 570 00:32:02,764 --> 00:32:04,561 I'm extremely paranoid. There's no way... 571 00:32:04,849 --> 00:32:07,283 I find it scary that you don't remember what happened. 572 00:32:07,560 --> 00:32:08,879 No, listen... 573 00:32:09,104 --> 00:32:11,698 ...I didn't write an entire book, but I kept a journal... 574 00:32:12,023 --> 00:32:15,811 ...and I wrote the whole night in it. That's what I meant, you idealizing it. 575 00:32:16,152 --> 00:32:19,269 All right, listen, I even remember what brand of condom we used. 576 00:32:19,572 --> 00:32:21,403 That's disgusting. I don't wanna hear it. 577 00:32:21,658 --> 00:32:24,092 - That's not disgusting. - No. 578 00:32:24,452 --> 00:32:28,764 Okay, when I get home I'll check my journal from '94, but I know I'm right. 579 00:32:31,835 --> 00:32:33,666 - Wait a minute. - What? 580 00:32:33,920 --> 00:32:36,559 - Was it in the cemetery? - No. 581 00:32:36,881 --> 00:32:39,156 No, we went to the cemetery in the afternoon. 582 00:32:39,426 --> 00:32:42,224 It was in the park, very late at night. 583 00:32:42,721 --> 00:32:44,791 - In the park? - Wait a minute, wait a minute. 584 00:32:45,056 --> 00:32:46,808 I can't... I can't... 585 00:32:47,809 --> 00:32:50,960 Is it that forgettable? You really don't remember? In the park? 586 00:32:51,312 --> 00:32:54,031 Okay. Wait a minute, I think you might be right... 587 00:32:54,357 --> 00:32:55,631 You're messing with me now. 588 00:32:55,900 --> 00:32:57,219 - No. - Are you messing with me? 589 00:32:57,485 --> 00:33:00,522 Okay. No, I'm sorry. I think... I mean, you're right, okay? 590 00:33:00,864 --> 00:33:04,174 Sometimes I put things in drawers inside my head and forget about it. 591 00:33:04,534 --> 00:33:07,094 It's less painful to put things away than live with it. 592 00:33:07,412 --> 00:33:10,006 What, so that night was, like, a sad memory for you? 593 00:33:10,331 --> 00:33:12,083 I didn't mean that night in particular. 594 00:33:12,333 --> 00:33:14,324 I meant certain things are better forgotten. 595 00:33:14,627 --> 00:33:17,016 I remember that night better than I do entire years. 596 00:33:17,338 --> 00:33:19,056 - Me too. - Really? 597 00:33:19,299 --> 00:33:21,369 Well, I thought I did. 598 00:33:24,095 --> 00:33:27,610 But maybe I... Maybe I put it away because of the fact that... 599 00:33:27,932 --> 00:33:30,924 ...my grandmother's funeral was the day we were supposed to meet. 600 00:33:31,269 --> 00:33:34,102 It was a tough day for me, but it must've been worse for you. 601 00:33:34,439 --> 00:33:38,830 It was unreal. I remember looking at her dead body in the coffin... 602 00:33:39,194 --> 00:33:43,392 ...at her beautiful hands, so warm, so sweet, that used to hold me... 603 00:33:44,074 --> 00:33:47,225 ...but nothing in that coffin resembled what I remembered of her. 604 00:33:47,535 --> 00:33:49,048 All the warmth was gone. 605 00:33:49,371 --> 00:33:52,044 And then I was crying, so confused if I was crying... 606 00:33:52,332 --> 00:33:57,690 ...because I was never gonna see her again or never gonna see you again... 607 00:33:58,129 --> 00:34:01,804 I'm sorry. I'm sorry to go on like this. I've been a little down this week. 608 00:34:02,175 --> 00:34:05,053 - Why? - I don't know. Nothing bad, just... 609 00:34:05,387 --> 00:34:07,264 Reading your book, maybe? 610 00:34:07,514 --> 00:34:11,223 No, but... Thinking of how hopeful I was that summer and fall... 611 00:34:11,601 --> 00:34:13,717 ...and since then it's been kind of a... 612 00:34:14,396 --> 00:34:15,749 I don't know. 613 00:34:15,980 --> 00:34:19,973 Memory is a wonderful thing if you don't have to deal with the past. 614 00:34:22,862 --> 00:34:25,581 "Memory is wonderful if you don't have to deal with the past. " 615 00:34:25,865 --> 00:34:27,457 Can I put that on a bumper sticker? 616 00:34:27,700 --> 00:34:30,294 If you wrote a book about our night, that's a good title. 617 00:34:30,578 --> 00:34:34,287 - And it could be a total different book. - Yeah, there'd be no sex scenes. 618 00:34:35,041 --> 00:34:36,315 - But you know what? - What? 619 00:34:36,584 --> 00:34:37,903 Now that we've met again... 620 00:34:38,169 --> 00:34:40,683 ...we can change our memory of that December 6. 621 00:34:40,964 --> 00:34:44,240 It no longer has that sad ending of us never seeing each other again. 622 00:34:44,592 --> 00:34:48,870 Right. I mean, I guess a memory's never finished as long as you're alive. 623 00:34:49,264 --> 00:34:52,700 Yeah, I know. I have this memory from my childhood... 624 00:34:53,059 --> 00:34:55,527 ...I realized recently never happened. - What? 625 00:34:55,812 --> 00:34:58,645 Well, when I was 8 or 9, my mom was so paranoid... 626 00:34:58,940 --> 00:35:01,693 ...when I was walking home from my piano lesson at night... 627 00:35:01,985 --> 00:35:04,579 ...she'd warn me about dirty old men giving me candies... 628 00:35:04,863 --> 00:35:06,615 ...and then showing me their pee-pees. 629 00:35:06,865 --> 00:35:09,823 She was so obsessed with it that, later in life, you know... 630 00:35:10,118 --> 00:35:13,394 ...I had this image in my head that this really happened. 631 00:35:13,705 --> 00:35:17,095 To the point that I even associated sex with that walk home. 632 00:35:17,417 --> 00:35:20,966 I mean, and sometimes, even now, when I'm... 633 00:35:22,005 --> 00:35:25,793 When I'm having sex, I see myself walking down that street. 634 00:35:26,134 --> 00:35:27,965 I swear. It's so weird, right? 635 00:35:28,219 --> 00:35:32,258 - Is that street nearby? I mean, could...? - Could we? No. 636 00:35:32,599 --> 00:35:34,715 Very far. 637 00:35:35,977 --> 00:35:38,411 Did you ever keep a journal when you were a kid? 638 00:35:38,688 --> 00:35:41,885 Yeah. On and off, I guess. 639 00:35:42,192 --> 00:35:44,262 It's funny, I read one of mine... 640 00:35:44,527 --> 00:35:46,324 ...from '83 the other day. - Yeah? 641 00:35:46,738 --> 00:35:48,330 And what really surprised me is... 642 00:35:48,573 --> 00:35:51,371 ...that I was dealing with life the same way I am now. 643 00:35:51,701 --> 00:35:53,612 I was much more hopeful and naive... 644 00:35:53,870 --> 00:35:57,988 ...but the core, and the way I was feeling things, is exactly the same. 645 00:35:58,333 --> 00:36:00,563 It made me realize I haven't changed much at all. 646 00:36:00,835 --> 00:36:02,268 I don't think anybody does. 647 00:36:02,504 --> 00:36:06,133 People don't want to admit it, but it's like we have these innate set points... 648 00:36:06,466 --> 00:36:09,936 ...and nothing much that happens to us changes our disposition. 649 00:36:10,261 --> 00:36:11,660 - You believe that? - I think so. 650 00:36:11,888 --> 00:36:15,085 I read this study where they followed people who'd won the lottery... 651 00:36:15,392 --> 00:36:17,189 ...and people who'd become paraplegics. 652 00:36:17,435 --> 00:36:21,428 You'd think one extreme is gonna make you euphoric and the other suicidal. 653 00:36:21,773 --> 00:36:24,367 But the study shows that, after about six months... 654 00:36:24,651 --> 00:36:27,802 ...as soon as people had gotten used to their new situation... 655 00:36:28,113 --> 00:36:30,343 ...they were, more or less, the same. - The same? 656 00:36:30,615 --> 00:36:33,687 Yeah. Like, if they were basically an optimistic, jovial person... 657 00:36:33,993 --> 00:36:36,712 ...they're now an optimistic, jovial person in a wheelchair. 658 00:36:37,038 --> 00:36:38,915 If they're a petty, miserable asshole... 659 00:36:39,165 --> 00:36:42,953 ...they're a petty, miserable asshole with a new Cadillac, a house and a boat. 660 00:36:43,294 --> 00:36:46,491 So I'll be forever depressed no matter what great things happen? 661 00:36:46,798 --> 00:36:48,117 - Definitely. - Great. 662 00:36:48,341 --> 00:36:49,979 No, come on, are you depressed now? 663 00:36:50,218 --> 00:36:52,413 No, no, I'm not depressed. 664 00:36:52,679 --> 00:36:55,239 But sometimes I worry I'll get to the end of my life... 665 00:36:55,515 --> 00:36:58,905 ...feeling I haven't done all I wanted to. - Well, what do you want to do? 666 00:36:59,227 --> 00:37:00,865 I... 667 00:37:01,104 --> 00:37:04,016 I want to paint more, I want to play my guitar every day. 668 00:37:04,315 --> 00:37:07,387 I want to learn Chinese. I want to write more songs. 669 00:37:07,694 --> 00:37:11,846 There's so many things I want to do, and I end up doing not much. 670 00:37:12,949 --> 00:37:18,546 All right, well, let me ask you this: Do you believe in ghosts or spirits? 671 00:37:18,955 --> 00:37:20,274 No. 672 00:37:20,498 --> 00:37:21,772 - No? - No. 673 00:37:22,000 --> 00:37:25,595 - Okay, what about reincarnation? - Not at all. 674 00:37:25,920 --> 00:37:27,797 - God? - No. 675 00:37:28,048 --> 00:37:30,437 - All right. - That sounds terrible. No, no, no. 676 00:37:30,717 --> 00:37:34,471 But I don't want to be one of those people that don't believe in any magic. 677 00:37:34,804 --> 00:37:36,635 - So then, astrology? - Yes, of course! 678 00:37:36,890 --> 00:37:38,642 - There we go. - That makes sense, right? 679 00:37:38,892 --> 00:37:42,168 You're a Scorpio, I'm a Sag, we get along. 680 00:37:43,229 --> 00:37:44,981 No, no, no. 681 00:37:45,231 --> 00:37:48,143 There's an Einstein quote I really, really like. 682 00:37:48,443 --> 00:37:51,799 He said, "If you don't believe in any kind of magic or mystery 683 00:37:52,113 --> 00:37:54,832 you're basically as good as dead. " - Yeah, I like that. 684 00:37:55,116 --> 00:37:58,313 I've always felt there was some kind of mystical core to the universe. 685 00:37:58,620 --> 00:38:03,614 But, more recently, I've started to think that, me, my personality, whatever... 686 00:38:04,000 --> 00:38:06,958 That I don't have any permanent place here, you know. 687 00:38:07,253 --> 00:38:08,845 In eternity or whatever, you know. 688 00:38:09,089 --> 00:38:12,764 And the more I think that, I can't go through life saying this is no big deal. 689 00:38:13,093 --> 00:38:16,449 This is it. This is actually happening. What do you think is interesting? 690 00:38:16,763 --> 00:38:18,833 What do you think is funny? What is important? 691 00:38:19,140 --> 00:38:21,335 You know, every day's our last. 692 00:38:21,810 --> 00:38:25,166 When I feel that way, I usually call my mom to tell her I love her. 693 00:38:25,480 --> 00:38:27,038 - Yeah? - And she's always: 694 00:38:27,273 --> 00:38:31,232 "Are you okay? Do you have cancer? Are you gonna commit suicide?" 695 00:38:31,569 --> 00:38:34,083 It's almost not worth it. 696 00:38:35,407 --> 00:38:38,080 So, what about us? 697 00:38:38,368 --> 00:38:40,802 - What about us? - No, what I mean is... 698 00:38:41,079 --> 00:38:44,515 ...if we were both going to die tonight... - Like the apocalypse was coming? 699 00:38:44,833 --> 00:38:48,792 No, that's too dramatic... But what if just the two of us were going to die? 700 00:38:49,129 --> 00:38:51,006 I mean, would we talk about your book? 701 00:38:51,256 --> 00:38:53,895 - The environment? Or... - If today was our last day? 702 00:38:54,175 --> 00:38:56,689 Yeah, what would we talk about? What would you tell me? 703 00:38:56,970 --> 00:38:58,449 - Well... - That's hard, huh? 704 00:38:58,680 --> 00:38:59,954 - No, no, I'll do it. - Okay. 705 00:39:00,181 --> 00:39:02,536 I definitely would stop talking about my book. 706 00:39:02,809 --> 00:39:05,369 - I would probably drop the environment. - Okay. 707 00:39:05,645 --> 00:39:09,433 But I would still want to talk about, you know, the magic in the universe. 708 00:39:09,774 --> 00:39:12,846 - I'd just want to do it from a... - What? 709 00:39:13,153 --> 00:39:14,711 ...a hotel room, you know... 710 00:39:14,946 --> 00:39:18,575 ...in between sessions of us wildly fucking until we die. 711 00:39:18,908 --> 00:39:21,627 Wow. Well, why waste time with an hotel room? 712 00:39:21,911 --> 00:39:25,187 Why not do it right there on a bench? 713 00:39:26,082 --> 00:39:28,357 Come here, come here, come here. 714 00:39:28,626 --> 00:39:30,935 Okay. We're not gonna die tonight. 715 00:39:31,212 --> 00:39:33,168 All right. Too bad. I'm sorry. 716 00:39:33,423 --> 00:39:34,902 That was an extreme example. 717 00:39:35,133 --> 00:39:37,488 - I'm sorry. - Okay. 718 00:39:37,761 --> 00:39:39,353 What I... My point was, you know... 719 00:39:39,596 --> 00:39:42,315 ...to truly communicate with people is very hard to do. 720 00:39:42,599 --> 00:39:45,272 No, I know, most of our day-to-day exchanges... 721 00:39:45,560 --> 00:39:47,039 Yeah, no, I mean... 722 00:39:47,270 --> 00:39:49,784 ...not to bring everything back to sex... - But why not? 723 00:39:50,065 --> 00:39:53,057 No, this example, this friend of mine, she was talking about... 724 00:39:53,359 --> 00:39:56,271 - She and her boyfriend... Problems in bed. - Right. 725 00:39:56,613 --> 00:39:59,969 And how when they had been dating for a year she started telling him... 726 00:40:00,283 --> 00:40:03,161 ...what he could do to please her more, and it freaked him out. 727 00:40:03,453 --> 00:40:04,727 - Why? - Totally. 728 00:40:04,996 --> 00:40:06,907 He thought it meant he was a bad lover... 729 00:40:07,165 --> 00:40:08,962 Maybe she shouldn't have waited so long. 730 00:40:09,209 --> 00:40:11,484 - After a year... - But men are so easily offended. 731 00:40:11,753 --> 00:40:14,142 - What, more than women? - Definitely on that subject. 732 00:40:14,422 --> 00:40:15,741 - You think so? - Yeah, yeah. 733 00:40:16,549 --> 00:40:18,585 Well, maybe it's because, you know... 734 00:40:18,843 --> 00:40:22,722 ...men are easier to... To please. - To please? 735 00:40:23,098 --> 00:40:25,976 - Well, I don't know. - Yeah, they are. They're definitely. 736 00:40:26,309 --> 00:40:28,345 Anyway, this friend, she was telling me... 737 00:40:28,603 --> 00:40:32,118 ...next time she dates a man, she's gonna make a little questionnaire... 738 00:40:32,440 --> 00:40:35,750 ...about what they like and dislike... - What, written down, or out loud? 739 00:40:36,069 --> 00:40:37,741 Yeah, mostly written down. 740 00:40:37,987 --> 00:40:41,502 But it wouldn't be just yes or no. It would be a bit more complex than that. 741 00:40:41,825 --> 00:40:45,181 Like, for example, if the question is: "Are you into S & M?" 742 00:40:45,495 --> 00:40:50,125 The answer could be: "No, but a good spanking once in a while doesn't hurt. " 743 00:40:50,500 --> 00:40:54,049 Right, or like: "Do you like talking dirty in bed?" 744 00:40:54,379 --> 00:40:57,689 - That kind of thing? - Yeah, but not just like any dirty talk. 745 00:40:58,007 --> 00:41:00,282 Just "What specific word would you like to hear?" 746 00:41:00,552 --> 00:41:01,826 - What, me? - Well, yeah. 747 00:41:02,053 --> 00:41:04,613 For example what specific word would you like to hear? 748 00:41:04,889 --> 00:41:06,447 I don't know. 749 00:41:08,017 --> 00:41:10,451 What do you feel about the word "pussy"? 750 00:41:10,729 --> 00:41:13,402 I love it. 751 00:41:13,898 --> 00:41:15,490 Good. 752 00:41:15,734 --> 00:41:18,612 It's amazing what perverts we've become in the past nine years. 753 00:41:18,903 --> 00:41:22,054 At least now we don't have to pretend each new sexual experience... 754 00:41:22,365 --> 00:41:24,003 ...is, like, a life-altering event. 755 00:41:24,242 --> 00:41:27,598 I know. By now, you've stuck it in so many places it's about to fall off. 756 00:41:27,912 --> 00:41:31,461 And I can't realistically expect you've become anything but a total ho. 757 00:41:31,791 --> 00:41:35,067 - Yeah, thank you. - No, I'm s... 758 00:41:35,795 --> 00:41:38,673 - That's true. What can you do? - What can you do? 759 00:41:38,965 --> 00:41:42,594 So, what kind of songs do you write? I didn't know you did that. 760 00:41:42,927 --> 00:41:44,076 - What kind? - Yeah, sure. 761 00:41:44,304 --> 00:41:45,896 - I don't know, just songs. - Like? 762 00:41:46,139 --> 00:41:48,699 Like, some are about, you know, people. 763 00:41:48,975 --> 00:41:50,567 Relationships. One's about my cat. 764 00:41:50,810 --> 00:41:53,199 - Sing one. - No, I can't. I don't have a guitar. 765 00:41:53,480 --> 00:41:54,993 - Come on. A cappella. - No, no, no. 766 00:41:55,231 --> 00:41:58,268 I'm not singing a song without a guitar. You're nuts. 767 00:41:58,902 --> 00:42:00,733 Why not? 768 00:42:00,987 --> 00:42:03,342 - No, okay. Not now. No. - One. 769 00:42:03,615 --> 00:42:06,732 If not now, when? You want to meet here in six months with a guitar? 770 00:42:07,035 --> 00:42:08,468 I'll fly all the way over here. 771 00:42:08,703 --> 00:42:11,581 - You may or may not make the M�tro. - Okay, that's funny. 772 00:42:12,082 --> 00:42:14,073 - We've got to get back. - We'll be all right. 773 00:42:14,334 --> 00:42:16,245 - You're gonna miss your flight. - All right. 774 00:42:16,503 --> 00:42:18,255 We can walk down La Seine. It's nice. 775 00:42:18,505 --> 00:42:20,018 Okay. 776 00:42:20,673 --> 00:42:24,222 - So you're flying back to New York? - Yeah, yeah. 777 00:42:26,262 --> 00:42:30,050 So I read in that article that you're married with a kid. That's great. 778 00:42:30,392 --> 00:42:32,781 Yeah, he's... He's 4. 779 00:42:33,061 --> 00:42:35,177 - What's his name? - Henry. Little Hank. 780 00:42:35,438 --> 00:42:38,111 - He's so much fun. - Oh, wow, I'm sure. 781 00:42:38,400 --> 00:42:41,233 - Your wife, what does she do? - She teaches elementary school. 782 00:42:41,903 --> 00:42:44,371 - Do you have kids? - Yes, two... Shit! 783 00:42:44,656 --> 00:42:46,055 - What? - I left them in the car! 784 00:42:46,282 --> 00:42:48,842 With the windows up, six months ago! Think they're okay? 785 00:42:49,119 --> 00:42:51,633 No, I'm kidding. No, but I want to have kids someday. 786 00:42:51,913 --> 00:42:53,710 - I'm just not ready yet. - No? 787 00:42:53,957 --> 00:42:56,994 - I'm in a good relationship, though. - Oh yeah? That's good. 788 00:42:57,293 --> 00:42:59,284 - What's he do? - He's a photojournalist. 789 00:42:59,546 --> 00:43:01,298 He does war coverage. 790 00:43:01,548 --> 00:43:04,016 He's away a lot, which is good because I'm so busy. 791 00:43:04,300 --> 00:43:08,213 But isn't that dangerous? Aren't a lot of those guys getting killed these days? 792 00:43:08,555 --> 00:43:11,672 He promises me he doesn't take risks, but I often worry. 793 00:43:11,975 --> 00:43:14,409 He goes in this trance when he photographs something. 794 00:43:14,686 --> 00:43:17,883 - What do you mean? - Well, once we were in New Delhi... 795 00:43:18,189 --> 00:43:19,622 ...and we passed a bum on the... 796 00:43:19,858 --> 00:43:22,008 - A bomb? - A bum. A homeless. 797 00:43:22,277 --> 00:43:23,551 All right, right. 798 00:43:23,778 --> 00:43:27,453 He looked like he needed help, but his first reaction was to photograph him. 799 00:43:27,782 --> 00:43:30,501 He went really close to his face, fixing his collar... 800 00:43:30,785 --> 00:43:32,457 ...totally detached from the person. 801 00:43:32,704 --> 00:43:35,343 But don't you have to be like that to be good at that job? 802 00:43:35,623 --> 00:43:36,897 Yeah, I mean, I'm not... 803 00:43:37,125 --> 00:43:40,117 I'm not judging him. What he does is essential and incredible. 804 00:43:40,420 --> 00:43:42,456 All I'm saying is that I could never do it. 805 00:43:42,714 --> 00:43:44,386 Let's get on that boat. Come on. 806 00:43:44,632 --> 00:43:45,906 - No! - Come on, it'll be fun. 807 00:43:46,134 --> 00:43:48,364 - You don't have time! - They're about to take off. 808 00:43:48,636 --> 00:43:50,945 I've got 5 more minutes. Do you have a cell phone? 809 00:43:51,222 --> 00:43:53,452 - Yeah. - All right, I've got that driver's number. 810 00:43:53,725 --> 00:43:55,795 I can call him to pick us up at the next stop. 811 00:43:56,061 --> 00:43:59,770 I've never been on those boats. It's for tourists, it's embarrassing. 812 00:44:00,106 --> 00:44:01,380 Okay. All right. 813 00:44:04,861 --> 00:44:06,419 No, I'll get it, I'll get it. 814 00:44:07,280 --> 00:44:09,748 All right. All right, all right. 815 00:44:13,370 --> 00:44:14,644 Thank you. 816 00:44:14,871 --> 00:44:16,941 - So are you in love with that guy? - What guy? 817 00:44:17,207 --> 00:44:20,404 - The war photographer. - Yes, of course. 818 00:44:24,339 --> 00:44:26,455 So do you have that cell phone? 819 00:44:26,716 --> 00:44:28,388 Oh, yeah. 820 00:44:28,635 --> 00:44:30,387 - Okay, let's see... - Okay. 821 00:44:30,637 --> 00:44:31,911 What do I tell him? 822 00:44:32,138 --> 00:44:34,254 Tell him to pick you up at Quai Henri Quatre. 823 00:44:34,516 --> 00:44:37,189 Oh, shit. Quai...? 824 00:44:37,477 --> 00:44:40,150 Henri Quatre. Quai Henri Quatre. 825 00:44:40,438 --> 00:44:42,394 Henri Quatre. 826 00:44:42,649 --> 00:44:45,527 What's wrong with you? No, do you want me to...? Henri Quatre. 827 00:44:45,819 --> 00:44:47,138 - Henry Four? - Yes! 828 00:44:47,362 --> 00:44:50,240 - Come on, why didn't you say so? - I'm sorry. Okay. 829 00:45:02,502 --> 00:45:04,333 Yeah, is this Philippe? 830 00:45:04,587 --> 00:45:07,147 Yeah. Philippe, this is Jesse Wallace. 831 00:45:07,424 --> 00:45:08,743 Yeah. 832 00:45:08,967 --> 00:45:13,040 Well, listen, I'm on one of those boats, right? 833 00:45:13,388 --> 00:45:16,186 And we're gonna arrive at Henry Four. 834 00:45:16,474 --> 00:45:19,705 At Port Henry Four. You know what that is? 835 00:45:20,019 --> 00:45:22,408 All right, great. And you have my bags, right? 836 00:45:22,689 --> 00:45:25,522 Yeah, so we'll be there in... I don't know, it's the next stop. 837 00:45:25,817 --> 00:45:28,092 Okay. Au revoir. 838 00:45:29,279 --> 00:45:31,634 - It's okay? - Yeah, yeah. 839 00:45:31,906 --> 00:45:33,783 Oh, wow. 840 00:45:34,034 --> 00:45:36,628 - Notre Dame, man. Check that out. - Oh, wow. 841 00:45:36,911 --> 00:45:40,745 I heard this story once about when the Germans were occupying Paris... 842 00:45:41,082 --> 00:45:42,640 ...and they had to retreat back. 843 00:45:42,876 --> 00:45:44,753 They wired Notre Dame to blow... 844 00:45:45,003 --> 00:45:49,076 ...but they had to leave one guy in charge of hitting the switch. 845 00:45:49,424 --> 00:45:52,382 And the guy, the soldier, he couldn't do it. 846 00:45:52,677 --> 00:45:56,226 He just sat there, knocked out by how beautiful the place was. 847 00:45:56,556 --> 00:45:58,353 Then, when the Allied troops came in... 848 00:45:58,600 --> 00:46:01,956 ...they found all the explosives lying there and the switch unturned... 849 00:46:02,270 --> 00:46:05,785 ...and they found the same thing at the Sacr�-Coeur, Eiffel Tower... 850 00:46:06,107 --> 00:46:08,302 ...couple other places, I think. 851 00:46:08,568 --> 00:46:10,445 Is that true? 852 00:46:10,695 --> 00:46:13,653 I don't know. I always liked the story, though. 853 00:46:13,948 --> 00:46:15,267 Yeah, that's a great story. 854 00:46:15,533 --> 00:46:18,286 But you have to think that Notre Dame will be gone one day. 855 00:46:18,578 --> 00:46:21,615 There used to be another church at the Seine, right there. 856 00:46:21,915 --> 00:46:24,634 - What, right in the same spot? - Yeah. 857 00:46:26,211 --> 00:46:28,566 You know, this is great. I've never done this. 858 00:46:28,838 --> 00:46:31,352 - Yeah. - I forget about how beautiful Paris is. 859 00:46:31,633 --> 00:46:33,191 It's not so bad, being a tourist. 860 00:46:33,426 --> 00:46:35,815 - Thanks for getting me on the boat. - You're welcome. 861 00:46:36,096 --> 00:46:38,894 I think that book that I wrote was like building something... 862 00:46:39,516 --> 00:46:43,509 ...so that I wouldn't forget the details of the time that we spent together. 863 00:46:43,895 --> 00:46:47,490 You know, like, just as a reminder, that once, we really did meet. 864 00:46:47,816 --> 00:46:50,649 You know, that this was real, this happened. 865 00:46:50,944 --> 00:46:52,855 I'm happy you're saying that, because... 866 00:46:53,113 --> 00:46:57,231 I mean, I always feel like a freak because I'm never able to move on like this: 867 00:46:58,535 --> 00:47:01,686 People just have an affair, or even entire relationships... 868 00:47:02,038 --> 00:47:04,313 ...they break up and they forget. 869 00:47:04,582 --> 00:47:08,291 They move on like they would have changed brand of cereals. 870 00:47:09,087 --> 00:47:12,204 I feel I was never able to forget anyone I've been with... 871 00:47:12,507 --> 00:47:17,865 ...because each person had their own specific qualities. 872 00:47:18,263 --> 00:47:22,893 You can never replace anyone. What is lost is lost. 873 00:47:24,269 --> 00:47:28,262 Each relationship, when it ends, really damages me. I never fully recover. 874 00:47:28,606 --> 00:47:31,643 That's why I'm very careful with getting involved... 875 00:47:31,943 --> 00:47:33,899 ...because it hurts too much. 876 00:47:34,154 --> 00:47:37,191 Even getting laid, I actually don't do that... 877 00:47:37,490 --> 00:47:40,288 ...because I will miss of the person the most mundane things. 878 00:47:40,577 --> 00:47:43,171 Like I'm obsessed with little things. 879 00:47:43,621 --> 00:47:45,851 Maybe I'm crazy, but when I was a little girl... 880 00:47:46,124 --> 00:47:48,922 ...my mom told me that I was always late to school. 881 00:47:49,210 --> 00:47:51,485 One day she followed me to see why. 882 00:47:51,796 --> 00:47:55,914 I was looking at chestnuts falling from the trees, rolling on the sidewalk... 883 00:47:56,259 --> 00:48:01,777 ...or ants crossing the road, the way a leaf casts a shadow on a tree trunk. 884 00:48:02,182 --> 00:48:04,138 Little things. 885 00:48:04,726 --> 00:48:06,478 I think it's the same with people. 886 00:48:07,062 --> 00:48:09,860 I see in them little details, so specific to each of them... 887 00:48:10,148 --> 00:48:14,107 ...that move me and that I miss and will always miss. 888 00:48:14,444 --> 00:48:15,877 You can never replace anyone... 889 00:48:16,112 --> 00:48:19,900 ...because everyone is made of such beautiful, specific details. 890 00:48:23,536 --> 00:48:26,687 Like, I remember the way your beard has a bit of red in it... 891 00:48:27,582 --> 00:48:30,142 ...and how the sun was making it glow... 892 00:48:30,460 --> 00:48:33,133 ...that morning right before you left. 893 00:48:34,172 --> 00:48:37,926 I remembered that, and I missed it. 894 00:48:38,259 --> 00:48:39,533 Really crazy, right? 895 00:48:40,220 --> 00:48:43,974 Now I know for sure. You wanna know why I wrote that stupid book? 896 00:48:44,349 --> 00:48:47,147 - Why? - So you'd come to a reading in Paris... 897 00:48:47,477 --> 00:48:51,470 ...and I could walk up to you and ask, "Where the fuck were you?" 898 00:48:52,065 --> 00:48:54,181 No... You think I'd be here today? 899 00:48:54,442 --> 00:48:58,799 I'm serious. I think I wrote it, in a way, to try to find you. 900 00:48:59,197 --> 00:49:01,188 Okay, that's... I know that's not true... 901 00:49:01,449 --> 00:49:03,679 ...but that's sweet of you. - I think it is true. 902 00:49:03,993 --> 00:49:06,348 What were the chances of us ever meeting again? 903 00:49:07,247 --> 00:49:10,319 After that December, I'd say almost zero. 904 00:49:10,875 --> 00:49:12,831 But we're not real anyway, right? 905 00:49:13,086 --> 00:49:16,158 We're just characters in that old lady's dream. 906 00:49:16,464 --> 00:49:18,773 She's on her deathbed, fantasizing about her youth. 907 00:49:19,050 --> 00:49:21,041 So of course we had to meet again. 908 00:49:21,302 --> 00:49:25,056 Oh, God. Why weren't you there in Vienna? 909 00:49:26,391 --> 00:49:29,986 - I told you why. - I know why, I just... 910 00:49:30,311 --> 00:49:32,461 I wish you would have been. 911 00:49:32,731 --> 00:49:34,881 Our lives might have been so much different. 912 00:49:35,150 --> 00:49:37,266 You think so? 913 00:49:37,527 --> 00:49:39,085 I actually do. 914 00:49:39,362 --> 00:49:42,354 Maybe not. Maybe we would have hated each other eventually. 915 00:49:42,699 --> 00:49:45,452 What, like we hate each other now? 916 00:49:46,494 --> 00:49:50,806 You know, maybe we're... We're only good at brief encounters... 917 00:49:51,166 --> 00:49:55,205 ...walking around in European cities, in warm climate. 918 00:49:55,879 --> 00:49:58,871 Oh, God. Why didn't we exchange phone numbers and stuff? 919 00:49:59,174 --> 00:50:01,244 Why didn't we do that? 920 00:50:01,509 --> 00:50:03,784 Because we were young and stupid. 921 00:50:04,054 --> 00:50:06,249 Do you think we still are? 922 00:50:06,514 --> 00:50:08,550 I guess when you're young you just believe... 923 00:50:08,808 --> 00:50:11,242 ...there'll be many people you'll connect with. 924 00:50:12,020 --> 00:50:14,534 Later in life you realize it only happens a few times. 925 00:50:14,814 --> 00:50:18,284 And you can screw it up, you know. Misconnect. 926 00:50:18,651 --> 00:50:20,960 The past is the past. It was meant to be that way. 927 00:50:21,237 --> 00:50:23,797 You really believe that? That everything's fated? 928 00:50:24,074 --> 00:50:27,908 Well, you know, the world might be less free than we think. 929 00:50:28,244 --> 00:50:29,882 Yeah? 930 00:50:30,205 --> 00:50:33,959 When given these exact circumstances, that's what will happen every time. 931 00:50:34,292 --> 00:50:37,204 Two part hydrogen, one part oxygen, you'll get water every time. 932 00:50:37,504 --> 00:50:40,780 No, I mean, what if your grandmother had lived a week longer, you know? 933 00:50:41,091 --> 00:50:43,605 Or passed away a week earlier? Days, even? 934 00:50:43,885 --> 00:50:45,398 Things might have been different. 935 00:50:45,637 --> 00:50:49,676 - You can't think like that, it's... - You shouldn't on most things, but... 936 00:50:50,016 --> 00:50:55,010 It's just, on this one, it seemed like something was off, you know. 937 00:50:55,730 --> 00:50:59,325 In the months leading up to my wedding, I was thinking about you all the time. 938 00:50:59,651 --> 00:51:03,326 Even on my way there, I'm in the car, a buddy of mine is driving me downtown... 939 00:51:03,655 --> 00:51:06,294 ...and I'm staring out the window and I think I see you... 940 00:51:06,574 --> 00:51:08,644 ...not far from the church, right... 941 00:51:08,910 --> 00:51:11,299 ...folding up an umbrella and walking into a deli... 942 00:51:11,579 --> 00:51:15,049 ...on the corner of 3th and Broadway. 943 00:51:15,375 --> 00:51:18,765 And I thought I was going crazy. But now I think it probably was you. 944 00:51:19,713 --> 00:51:22,227 I lived on th and Broadway. 945 00:51:23,133 --> 00:51:24,930 You see? 946 00:51:26,302 --> 00:51:29,897 So, what is it like to be married? You haven't talked much about that. 947 00:51:30,974 --> 00:51:34,364 I haven't? How weird. 948 00:51:35,019 --> 00:51:38,807 I don't know. We met, you know, when I was in college. 949 00:51:39,149 --> 00:51:45,258 And we broke up and got back together for a period of years, and then... 950 00:51:46,156 --> 00:51:50,195 What? We were sort of back together and she was pregnant... 951 00:51:51,036 --> 00:51:52,549 ...so marriage. 952 00:51:52,787 --> 00:51:54,743 What is she like? 953 00:51:54,998 --> 00:51:57,910 She's a great teacher, a good mom. 954 00:51:58,209 --> 00:52:01,121 She's smart, pretty, you know. 955 00:52:01,421 --> 00:52:03,412 I remember thinking at the time... 956 00:52:03,673 --> 00:52:05,948 ...that so many of the men that I admired most... 957 00:52:06,217 --> 00:52:10,847 ...that their lives were dedicated to something greater than themselves. 958 00:52:11,806 --> 00:52:14,400 So you got married because men you admired were married? 959 00:52:14,684 --> 00:52:20,680 No, no. It's more like I had this... This idea of my best self, you know? 960 00:52:21,107 --> 00:52:22,779 And I wanted to pursue that... 961 00:52:23,026 --> 00:52:25,665 ...even if it might have been overriding my honest self. 962 00:52:25,945 --> 00:52:27,298 You know what I'm saying? 963 00:52:27,530 --> 00:52:31,887 In the moment, I remember thinking it didn't much matter, the who of it all. 964 00:52:32,285 --> 00:52:34,674 I mean, that nobody is gonna be everything to you... 965 00:52:34,954 --> 00:52:37,707 ...and that it's just the action of committing yourself... 966 00:52:37,999 --> 00:52:41,355 ...you know, meeting your responsibilities, that matters. 967 00:52:41,669 --> 00:52:45,139 I mean, what is love, right, if it's not respect, trust, admiration? 968 00:52:45,465 --> 00:52:48,423 And I... I felt all those things. 969 00:52:48,718 --> 00:52:51,471 Cut to the present, and I feel like I'm running a nursery... 970 00:52:51,763 --> 00:52:54,323 ...with somebody I used to date, you know. 971 00:52:54,599 --> 00:52:56,351 I mean, I'm like a monk, you know. 972 00:52:56,601 --> 00:53:01,277 I mean, I've had sex less than 0 times in the last four years. 973 00:53:01,981 --> 00:53:04,449 - What, what? You laughing at me? - No. 974 00:53:04,734 --> 00:53:07,453 - It sounds pathetic? - What monastery do monks have sex...? 975 00:53:07,737 --> 00:53:10,934 Okay, you're right, I'm doing better than most monks. 976 00:53:11,241 --> 00:53:13,630 But I do, I feel like if somebody were to touch me... 977 00:53:13,910 --> 00:53:16,026 ...I would dissolve into molecules. 978 00:53:16,287 --> 00:53:18,926 Well, we're here. We've gotta go. Come on. 979 00:53:19,207 --> 00:53:21,004 Shit. 980 00:53:33,596 --> 00:53:36,429 - I'm sorry to hear that, you know. - What? 981 00:53:36,725 --> 00:53:39,683 You're not that happy with your marriage. 982 00:53:39,978 --> 00:53:42,538 - This friend of mine, she's a shrink... - How's she doing? 983 00:53:42,814 --> 00:53:44,327 She's a mess, but... 984 00:53:44,566 --> 00:53:47,683 No, she said she's been dealing with couples that are breaking up... 985 00:53:47,986 --> 00:53:50,056 ...for the same reason. - What reason is that? 986 00:53:50,321 --> 00:53:52,960 They all expected, after a few years of living together... 987 00:53:53,241 --> 00:53:55,471 ...for the passion, that desire, to be the same. 988 00:53:55,744 --> 00:53:57,143 - Yeah, right. - It's impossible. 989 00:53:57,370 --> 00:53:58,644 And thank God... 990 00:53:58,872 --> 00:54:02,467 ...we'd end up with aneurysms in that constant state of excitement, right? 991 00:54:02,792 --> 00:54:04,510 We'd do nothing at all with our lives. 992 00:54:04,753 --> 00:54:08,109 Would you have finished your book if you were fucking every five minutes? 993 00:54:08,423 --> 00:54:10,891 I might have welcomed the challenge, I mean... 994 00:54:11,217 --> 00:54:13,856 It's natural for your wife after the birth of your son... 995 00:54:14,137 --> 00:54:16,651 ...to give all her love to the little one. - Of course. 996 00:54:16,931 --> 00:54:19,968 If she was obsessed with sex, riding you like a wildcat... 997 00:54:20,268 --> 00:54:21,940 That wouldn't make any sense, right? 998 00:54:22,187 --> 00:54:25,623 Everything you're saying makes sense. It's not about sex. 999 00:54:25,940 --> 00:54:28,056 No, I know. It's obvious. 1000 00:54:28,318 --> 00:54:29,831 I... 1001 00:54:31,029 --> 00:54:34,101 You know, couples are so confused lately. 1002 00:54:34,407 --> 00:54:36,602 I think it must be that... 1003 00:54:36,868 --> 00:54:40,656 ...men need to feel essential and they don't anymore. 1004 00:54:40,997 --> 00:54:43,431 It's been imprinted in their head for so many years... 1005 00:54:43,708 --> 00:54:45,346 ...that they had to be the provider. 1006 00:54:45,585 --> 00:54:49,100 Like, I'm a strong, independent woman in my professional life. 1007 00:54:49,422 --> 00:54:50,901 I don't need a man to feed me... 1008 00:54:51,132 --> 00:54:54,329 ...but I still need a man to love me and that I could love. 1009 00:54:55,845 --> 00:54:58,405 - So your driver's here. - Yeah. 1010 00:54:58,723 --> 00:55:00,315 Well, I guess this is goodbye. 1011 00:55:00,558 --> 00:55:02,150 - You better give me your... - No, no. 1012 00:55:02,394 --> 00:55:04,510 Why don't we just give you a ride home? 1013 00:55:04,771 --> 00:55:07,001 - Well, I can take the M�tro. I'm fine. - No, I... 1014 00:55:07,273 --> 00:55:10,106 My flight's not until 0. I'll be arriving two hours early. 1015 00:55:10,402 --> 00:55:11,755 This way we can keep talking. 1016 00:55:11,986 --> 00:55:14,022 - Monsieur, can...? - It's not on the way. 1017 00:55:28,878 --> 00:55:30,709 You told him where you are and all that? 1018 00:55:30,964 --> 00:55:32,522 Yeah. 1019 00:55:35,927 --> 00:55:38,282 - He knows where he's going? - Yes. 1020 00:55:38,555 --> 00:55:40,352 Glad somebody does. 1021 00:55:40,598 --> 00:55:44,557 - But this is better than the M�tro, right? - Definitely. 1022 00:55:47,147 --> 00:55:51,379 I was thinking, for me it's better I don't romanticize things as much anymore. 1023 00:55:51,735 --> 00:55:53,532 I was suffering so much all the time. 1024 00:55:53,778 --> 00:55:57,134 I still have lots of dreams, but they're not in regard to my love life. 1025 00:55:57,490 --> 00:55:59,765 It doesn't make me sad, it's just the way it is. 1026 00:56:00,076 --> 00:56:04,035 Is that why you're in a relationship with somebody who's never around? 1027 00:56:04,372 --> 00:56:08,126 Yes, obviously I can't deal with the day-to-day life of a relationship. 1028 00:56:08,460 --> 00:56:10,451 Yeah, we have this exciting time together... 1029 00:56:10,712 --> 00:56:13,943 ...and he leaves and I miss him, but at least I'm not dying inside. 1030 00:56:14,257 --> 00:56:16,566 When someone's always around me, I'm suffocating. 1031 00:56:16,885 --> 00:56:19,638 No, wait, you just said that you need to love and be loved. 1032 00:56:19,971 --> 00:56:22,690 Yeah, but when I do, it quickly makes me nauseous. 1033 00:56:22,974 --> 00:56:24,373 It's a disaster. 1034 00:56:24,601 --> 00:56:27,161 I mean, I'm really happy only when I'm on my own. 1035 00:56:27,437 --> 00:56:32,113 Even being alone, it's better than sitting next to a lover and feeling lonely. 1036 00:56:32,984 --> 00:56:34,815 It's not so easy for me to be a romantic. 1037 00:56:35,070 --> 00:56:38,426 You start off that way, and after you've been screwed over a few times... 1038 00:56:38,740 --> 00:56:42,892 ...you forget about your delusional ideas and you take what comes into your life. 1039 00:56:43,745 --> 00:56:46,134 That's not even true. I haven't been screwed over... 1040 00:56:46,414 --> 00:56:48,723 ...I've just had too many blah relationships. 1041 00:56:49,000 --> 00:56:50,752 They weren't mean, they cared for me... 1042 00:56:51,002 --> 00:56:54,358 ...but there were no real connection or excitement. 1043 00:56:54,672 --> 00:56:56,742 At least, not from my side. 1044 00:56:57,008 --> 00:56:59,568 God, I'm sorry, is it really that bad? 1045 00:56:59,844 --> 00:57:01,800 It's not, right? 1046 00:57:03,139 --> 00:57:05,778 You know, it's not even that. I was... 1047 00:57:06,059 --> 00:57:09,096 I was fine until I read your fucking book. 1048 00:57:09,729 --> 00:57:11,321 It stirred shit up, you know? 1049 00:57:11,773 --> 00:57:14,287 It reminded me how genuinely romantic I was... 1050 00:57:14,567 --> 00:57:16,637 ...how I had so much hope in things... 1051 00:57:16,903 --> 00:57:20,293 ...and now it's like I don't believe in anything that relates to love. 1052 00:57:20,615 --> 00:57:22,526 I don't feel things for people anymore. 1053 00:57:23,743 --> 00:57:27,258 In a way, I put all my romanticism into that one night... 1054 00:57:27,580 --> 00:57:29,969 ...and I was never able to feel all this again. 1055 00:57:30,250 --> 00:57:32,684 Like, somehow this night took things away from me... 1056 00:57:32,961 --> 00:57:35,270 ...and I expressed them to you, and you took them with you. 1057 00:57:35,547 --> 00:57:37,344 It made me feel cold, like love wasn't for me. 1058 00:57:37,590 --> 00:57:40,229 I don't believe that. I don't believe that. 1059 00:57:41,594 --> 00:57:45,667 You know what? Reality and love are almost contradictory for me. 1060 00:57:46,015 --> 00:57:50,133 It's funny, every single of my exes, they're now married. 1061 00:57:50,478 --> 00:57:53,276 Men go out with me, we break up, and then they get married. 1062 00:57:53,565 --> 00:57:56,921 And later they call me to thank me for teaching them what love is... 1063 00:57:57,235 --> 00:57:59,624 ...and that I taught them to care and respect women. 1064 00:57:59,904 --> 00:58:02,179 - I think I'm one of those. - I want to kill them! 1065 00:58:02,490 --> 00:58:05,960 Why didn't they ask me? I would have said no, but they could have asked! 1066 00:58:06,286 --> 00:58:09,915 I know it's my fault because I never felt it was the right man. 1067 00:58:10,290 --> 00:58:13,362 Never. But what does it mean, the right man, the love of your life? 1068 00:58:13,668 --> 00:58:16,865 The concept is absurd. We can only be complete with another person. 1069 00:58:17,213 --> 00:58:19,488 - It's evil, right? - Can I talk? 1070 00:58:19,758 --> 00:58:23,034 I guess I've been heartbroken too many times and then I recovered. 1071 00:58:23,344 --> 00:58:25,858 So now, you know, from the starts, I make no effort. 1072 00:58:26,139 --> 00:58:28,812 - I know it's not gonna work out. - You can't do that. 1073 00:58:29,142 --> 00:58:30,939 You can't live trying to avoid pain... 1074 00:58:31,227 --> 00:58:32,945 ...at the expense... - Those are words. 1075 00:58:33,188 --> 00:58:34,587 I've gotta get away from you. 1076 00:58:34,856 --> 00:58:36,892 - Stop the car, I wanna get out. - No, don't... 1077 00:58:37,192 --> 00:58:38,989 - Keep talking. - It's being around you. 1078 00:58:39,235 --> 00:58:41,510 Don't touch me, you know. I want to get on a cab. 1079 00:58:44,324 --> 00:58:46,633 No, don't. No, no, keep going. 1080 00:58:46,910 --> 00:58:50,346 Listen, I'm just so happy... Thank you, just keep going. 1081 00:58:50,663 --> 00:58:52,301 All right. 1082 00:58:53,708 --> 00:58:57,303 Look, I'm just so happy, all right, to be with you. 1083 00:58:57,629 --> 00:59:00,860 I am. I'm so glad you didn't forget about me, okay? 1084 00:59:01,174 --> 00:59:03,768 No, I didn't. And it pisses me off, okay? 1085 00:59:04,094 --> 00:59:07,609 You come here to Paris, all romantic, and married. 1086 00:59:07,931 --> 00:59:09,330 Okay? Screw you. 1087 00:59:10,225 --> 00:59:12,500 Don't get me wrong, I'm not trying to get you. 1088 00:59:12,769 --> 00:59:15,124 I mean, all I need is a married man. 1089 00:59:15,855 --> 00:59:19,052 There's been so much water under the bridge, it's not even about you. 1090 00:59:19,359 --> 00:59:21,714 It's about that moment in time that's forever gone. 1091 00:59:22,028 --> 00:59:24,826 You say that, but you didn't even remember having sex, so... 1092 00:59:25,115 --> 00:59:27,868 Of course I remembered. 1093 00:59:29,119 --> 00:59:31,428 - You did? - Yes. 1094 00:59:31,705 --> 00:59:34,936 - Women pretend things like that. - They do? 1095 00:59:35,291 --> 00:59:39,079 What was I supposed to say? That I remember the wine in the park... 1096 00:59:39,421 --> 00:59:42,777 ...and us looking up at the stars fading away as the sun came up? 1097 00:59:43,091 --> 00:59:46,322 We had sex twice, you idiot! 1098 00:59:47,846 --> 00:59:51,475 All right, you know what, I'm just happy to see you. 1099 00:59:51,850 --> 00:59:55,126 Even if you've become an angry, manic-depressive activist... 1100 00:59:55,437 --> 00:59:58,793 ...I still like you, I still enjoy being around you. 1101 00:59:59,607 --> 01:00:03,805 And I feel the same. I'm sorry. I don't know what happened, I just... 1102 01:00:04,154 --> 01:00:06,509 - I had to let it all out. - Don't worry about it. 1103 01:00:06,781 --> 01:00:09,295 I'm so miserable in my love life, in my relationship. 1104 01:00:09,576 --> 01:00:12,613 I always act as... Like, you know, I'm detached. 1105 01:00:12,912 --> 01:00:15,949 But I'm dying inside. I'm dying because I'm so numb. 1106 01:00:16,249 --> 01:00:19,844 I don't feel pain or excitement, I'm not even bitter, I'm just... 1107 01:00:20,170 --> 01:00:22,730 You think you're the one dying inside? 1108 01:00:23,006 --> 01:00:27,045 My life is 24/7 bad. 1109 01:00:27,385 --> 01:00:28,659 - I'm sorry. - No, no. 1110 01:00:28,887 --> 01:00:31,685 I mean, the only happiness I get is when I'm out with my son. 1111 01:00:31,973 --> 01:00:33,565 I've been to marriage counseling... 1112 01:00:33,808 --> 01:00:36,322 ...I've done things I never thought I would have to do. 1113 01:00:36,603 --> 01:00:39,436 I've lit candles, bought self-help books, lingerie. 1114 01:00:39,731 --> 01:00:42,006 - Did the candles help? - Hell, no. 1115 01:00:42,275 --> 01:00:44,664 I don't love her the way she needs to be loved... 1116 01:00:44,944 --> 01:00:49,222 ...and I don't even see a future for us, but then I look at my little boy... 1117 01:00:49,574 --> 01:00:52,805 ...sitting across from me, and I think I'd suffer any torture... 1118 01:00:53,119 --> 01:00:55,394 ...to be with him for all the minutes of his life. 1119 01:00:55,663 --> 01:00:57,460 I don't want to miss out on one. 1120 01:00:57,707 --> 01:01:01,859 But then, there's no joy or laughter in my home, you know? 1121 01:01:02,212 --> 01:01:05,761 - I don't want him growing up in that. - No laughter? That's terrible. 1122 01:01:06,091 --> 01:01:07,922 My parents have been together 35 years... 1123 01:01:08,176 --> 01:01:10,406 ...and even when they fight they end up laughing. 1124 01:01:10,678 --> 01:01:14,307 I don't want to be one of those people who are getting divorced at 52... 1125 01:01:14,641 --> 01:01:18,873 ...and falling down into tears, admitting they never really loved their spouse... 1126 01:01:19,229 --> 01:01:24,064 ...and they feel their life has been sucked up into a vacuum cleaner. 1127 01:01:24,484 --> 01:01:27,920 You know, I want a great life. I want her to have a great life... 1128 01:01:28,279 --> 01:01:30,349 ...she deserves that. 1129 01:01:30,657 --> 01:01:33,854 But we're just living in the pretense of a marriage, responsibility... 1130 01:01:34,160 --> 01:01:37,994 ...you know, all these ideas of how people are supposed to live. 1131 01:01:39,874 --> 01:01:43,583 But then I... I have these dreams... 1132 01:01:45,255 --> 01:01:46,574 What dreams? 1133 01:01:46,798 --> 01:01:50,154 I have these dreams, you know, that... 1134 01:01:50,760 --> 01:01:52,671 ...I'm standing on a platform... 1135 01:01:54,055 --> 01:01:57,047 ...and you keep going by on a train... 1136 01:01:57,350 --> 01:02:01,582 ...and you go by, and you go by, and you go by, you go by. 1137 01:02:01,938 --> 01:02:03,735 And I wake up with the fucking sweats. 1138 01:02:03,982 --> 01:02:06,177 And then I have this other dream... 1139 01:02:06,484 --> 01:02:10,159 ...where you're pregnant in bed beside me naked... 1140 01:02:10,530 --> 01:02:14,159 ...and I want so badly to touch you, but you tell me not to and you look away. 1141 01:02:14,492 --> 01:02:18,804 And I... And I touch you anyway... 1142 01:02:19,164 --> 01:02:23,442 ...right on your ankle, and your skin is so soft that I wake up in sobs, all right? 1143 01:02:24,377 --> 01:02:27,687 My wife is there looking at me, and I feel I'm a million miles from her. 1144 01:02:28,006 --> 01:02:31,885 And I know that there's something wrong, that I... 1145 01:02:32,218 --> 01:02:34,129 God, that I can't keep living like this... 1146 01:02:34,387 --> 01:02:36,821 ...that there's gotta be more to love than commitment. 1147 01:02:37,140 --> 01:02:39,813 But then I think that I might have given up... 1148 01:02:40,101 --> 01:02:41,932 ...on the whole idea of romantic love. 1149 01:02:42,187 --> 01:02:45,338 That I might have put it to bed that... 1150 01:02:45,648 --> 01:02:48,287 That day when you weren't there. 1151 01:02:48,568 --> 01:02:51,207 You know, I think I might have done that. 1152 01:02:52,572 --> 01:02:54,688 Why are you telling me all this? 1153 01:02:55,658 --> 01:02:59,697 I'm sorry. I don't know. I'm... I should... 1154 01:03:01,039 --> 01:03:02,916 I shouldn't have. 1155 01:03:03,166 --> 01:03:04,679 You know, it's so weird. 1156 01:03:04,918 --> 01:03:08,797 People think they are the only one going through tough times. 1157 01:03:09,172 --> 01:03:13,290 I mean, when I read the article, I thought your life was perfect. 1158 01:03:13,760 --> 01:03:17,514 A wife, a kid, published author. 1159 01:03:18,306 --> 01:03:21,537 But your personal life is more of a mess than mine. 1160 01:03:21,851 --> 01:03:24,081 I'm sorry. 1161 01:03:24,354 --> 01:03:27,346 Well, I'm glad it's good for something. 1162 01:03:30,193 --> 01:03:33,310 - This is where you live? - Yeah. 1163 01:03:34,364 --> 01:03:38,357 So you're just relieved that I'm in even more deep shit than you are? 1164 01:03:38,702 --> 01:03:40,499 Yes, you've made me feel better. 1165 01:03:40,745 --> 01:03:42,815 Oh, good, I'm glad. 1166 01:03:43,081 --> 01:03:45,436 No, I really wish you the best. 1167 01:03:45,709 --> 01:03:49,224 It's not because I'm incapable of having a good relationship or a family... 1168 01:03:49,546 --> 01:03:51,582 ...that I wish everyone to be doomed like me. 1169 01:03:51,840 --> 01:03:54,115 I'm sure you'd make... Be a great mom someday. 1170 01:03:54,384 --> 01:03:55,817 - Really? You think so? - Yeah... 1171 01:03:56,052 --> 01:03:59,044 ...a few antidepressants, you know, you'll do great. 1172 01:03:59,973 --> 01:04:02,692 - Okay, say stop. - Stop. 1173 01:04:03,268 --> 01:04:05,862 - Okay. - You ready? Okay. 1174 01:04:16,114 --> 01:04:20,153 - So I want to try something. - What? 1175 01:04:22,787 --> 01:04:26,939 I want to see if you stay together or if you dissolve into molecules. 1176 01:04:28,168 --> 01:04:30,045 How am I doing? 1177 01:04:30,295 --> 01:04:32,126 Still here. 1178 01:04:32,380 --> 01:04:34,450 Good. I like being here. 1179 01:04:38,428 --> 01:04:39,941 Is this your apartment? 1180 01:04:40,180 --> 01:04:41,818 No, I live down there. 1181 01:04:42,057 --> 01:04:44,207 - Down there? - Yeah. 1182 01:04:44,476 --> 01:04:46,865 Monsieur, I'm gonna walk her to her door. 1183 01:04:56,029 --> 01:04:57,303 This is incredible. 1184 01:04:57,530 --> 01:05:00,124 - This is where you live? - Yeah. 1185 01:05:00,408 --> 01:05:03,480 - How long have you been here? - Four years. 1186 01:05:05,163 --> 01:05:07,233 - So tell me... - What? 1187 01:05:07,499 --> 01:05:09,091 Is it all true about your dreams... 1188 01:05:09,334 --> 01:05:11,973 ...or did you say that to hopefully get in my pants? 1189 01:05:12,253 --> 01:05:13,766 I said that to get in your pants. 1190 01:05:14,005 --> 01:05:16,394 - I use that all the time. - Oh, okay. Does it work? 1191 01:05:16,716 --> 01:05:19,469 You know. Sometimes. 1192 01:05:20,762 --> 01:05:24,118 Here's my kitty. Oh, so cute. Look at him. 1193 01:05:24,432 --> 01:05:26,184 You know what I love about this cat? 1194 01:05:26,434 --> 01:05:28,629 Every morning I bring him to the courtyard... 1195 01:05:28,937 --> 01:05:33,453 ...and every single morning he looks at everything like it was the first time. 1196 01:05:33,817 --> 01:05:37,730 Every corner, every tree, every plant. 1197 01:05:38,071 --> 01:05:40,426 Smells everything with his little cute nose. 1198 01:05:40,699 --> 01:05:44,612 Oh, I love my kitty. I love my kitty. 1199 01:05:46,037 --> 01:05:47,834 - What's his name? - Che. 1200 01:05:48,581 --> 01:05:50,378 Che? 1201 01:05:52,127 --> 01:05:54,436 - What? - Commie. 1202 01:05:56,005 --> 01:05:58,883 No, "che" in Argentina means "hey. " 1203 01:05:59,175 --> 01:06:01,484 - Okay. - Yes. 1204 01:06:01,761 --> 01:06:05,356 Oh, baby. Oh, yes, yes, yes. 1205 01:06:08,852 --> 01:06:12,527 We're having a little party. It's so much fun. 1206 01:06:22,866 --> 01:06:24,618 - So... - So. 1207 01:06:40,884 --> 01:06:45,162 You know what? I was thinking, would you play me one of your songs? 1208 01:06:45,513 --> 01:06:47,583 - You're gonna miss your flight. - I won't. 1209 01:06:47,849 --> 01:06:50,647 I'm gonna be in the airport for over an hour, reading... 1210 01:06:50,935 --> 01:06:53,733 ...wishing you'd played me one of your songs. 1211 01:06:54,064 --> 01:06:56,180 One song? Okay, but quickly. 1212 01:06:56,441 --> 01:06:58,159 Okay. 1213 01:07:03,573 --> 01:07:06,645 God, I love these old staircases. 1214 01:07:45,073 --> 01:07:47,268 - Hold this. - What, for me? 1215 01:07:47,534 --> 01:07:49,490 Hey there, buddy. 1216 01:07:50,662 --> 01:07:52,653 Che. 1217 01:08:04,217 --> 01:08:07,846 - Would you like some tea? - Yeah, sure. 1218 01:08:08,513 --> 01:08:10,071 Wow. 1219 01:08:11,141 --> 01:08:14,497 - Is chamomile okay? - Yeah. Great. 1220 01:08:14,811 --> 01:08:16,961 - Merci. - Messy? 1221 01:08:17,230 --> 01:08:20,825 - You think my apartment is messy? - No, no. Merci. 1222 01:08:21,151 --> 01:08:24,541 - Merci beaucoup. - Ah, merci. 1223 01:08:24,863 --> 01:08:28,458 I meant to tell you, your French has improved a lot. 1224 01:08:28,783 --> 01:08:30,057 - Really? - Yeah. 1225 01:08:30,285 --> 01:08:32,753 Yeah, you've really mastered the language. 1226 01:08:33,663 --> 01:08:36,655 All right, all right, what song are you gonna play me? 1227 01:08:39,002 --> 01:08:41,800 No, I can't. It's too embarrassing. It's been... 1228 01:08:42,088 --> 01:08:45,637 Whoa. No way. No way. I came up here, you cannot crap out on me now. 1229 01:08:45,967 --> 01:08:47,923 One song. Anything will be great. 1230 01:08:48,219 --> 01:08:49,937 But listen, you're gonna laugh at me. 1231 01:08:50,180 --> 01:08:51,613 - You think so? - Yes. 1232 01:08:51,890 --> 01:08:53,801 I doubt it. 1233 01:08:56,644 --> 01:08:57,997 Okay. 1234 01:08:58,229 --> 01:09:00,504 What do you want to hear? I have... 1235 01:09:00,774 --> 01:09:03,004 I have three songs in English. 1236 01:09:03,276 --> 01:09:04,595 One's about my cat... 1237 01:09:04,819 --> 01:09:08,732 ...one's about my ex-boyfriend... Well, ex-ex-boyfriend... 1238 01:09:09,074 --> 01:09:11,463 ...and there's one about... 1239 01:09:11,951 --> 01:09:15,182 Well, it's just a little waltz. 1240 01:09:15,497 --> 01:09:17,533 A waltz? Yeah. 1241 01:09:17,832 --> 01:09:19,868 - Play the waltz. - Right. 1242 01:09:20,168 --> 01:09:22,477 I haven't played it in a while. You sure? 1243 01:09:25,924 --> 01:09:27,403 Okay. 1244 01:09:28,218 --> 01:09:30,413 All right, the waltz. 1245 01:09:42,732 --> 01:09:47,044 Let me sing you a waltz 1246 01:09:47,404 --> 01:09:51,955 Out of nowhere, out of my thoughts 1247 01:09:52,325 --> 01:09:56,682 Let me sing you a waltz 1248 01:09:57,038 --> 01:10:00,747 About this one-night stand 1249 01:10:02,001 --> 01:10:07,473 You were, for me, that night 1250 01:10:07,882 --> 01:10:13,559 Everything I always dreamt of in life 1251 01:10:13,972 --> 01:10:17,362 But now you're gone 1252 01:10:17,684 --> 01:10:21,757 You are far-gone 1253 01:10:22,939 --> 01:10:27,410 All the way to your island of rain 1254 01:10:27,777 --> 01:10:33,409 It was, for you, just a one-night thing 1255 01:10:33,825 --> 01:10:36,658 But you were much more to me 1256 01:10:36,995 --> 01:10:39,589 Just so you know 1257 01:10:40,749 --> 01:10:43,627 I don't care what they say 1258 01:10:43,918 --> 01:10:48,673 I know what you meant For me that day 1259 01:10:49,049 --> 01:10:53,679 I just want another try 1260 01:10:54,054 --> 01:10:58,844 I just want another night 1261 01:11:00,310 --> 01:11:06,021 Even if it doesn't seem quite right 1262 01:11:06,483 --> 01:11:10,317 You meant, for me, much more 1263 01:11:10,653 --> 01:11:14,805 Than anyone I've met before 1264 01:11:15,158 --> 01:11:21,233 One single night with you, little Jesse 1265 01:11:21,664 --> 01:11:26,579 Is worth a thousand with anybody 1266 01:11:27,837 --> 01:11:31,068 I have no bitterness, my sweet 1267 01:11:31,549 --> 01:11:36,418 I'll never forget this one-night thing 1268 01:11:36,805 --> 01:11:42,675 Even tomorrow, in other arms 1269 01:11:43,103 --> 01:11:48,894 My heart will stay yours until I die 1270 01:11:53,321 --> 01:11:57,917 Let me sing you a waltz 1271 01:11:58,284 --> 01:12:03,119 Out of nowhere, out of my blues 1272 01:12:03,498 --> 01:12:08,253 Let me sing you a waltz 1273 01:12:08,628 --> 01:12:13,622 About this lovely one-night stand 1274 01:12:30,942 --> 01:12:34,412 - No, one more! Please, please. - No! It was our deal. 1275 01:12:34,779 --> 01:12:37,134 One... One song. No, no, no. 1276 01:12:37,449 --> 01:12:39,883 You can have your tea and then... 1277 01:12:45,415 --> 01:12:47,690 - All right, let me ask you one question. - What? 1278 01:12:47,959 --> 01:12:51,110 Do you just plug that name in for every guy that comes up here? 1279 01:12:51,838 --> 01:12:53,112 Yes, of course. 1280 01:12:53,339 --> 01:12:57,252 What do you think, that I wrote the song about you? Are you nuts? 1281 01:13:01,806 --> 01:13:04,081 Is this you? Little cross-eyed Celine? 1282 01:13:04,350 --> 01:13:06,818 - Yes. That's funny. - Cute. 1283 01:13:08,313 --> 01:13:11,589 - Is that your grandmother? - Yeah. 1284 01:13:13,485 --> 01:13:15,476 Oh, wow. 1285 01:13:15,945 --> 01:13:18,903 - You want some honey? - Yeah, sure. 1286 01:14:08,707 --> 01:14:10,937 Did you ever see Nina Simone in concert? 1287 01:14:11,209 --> 01:14:13,643 No, I never did. I can't believe she's gone. 1288 01:14:14,087 --> 01:14:15,520 I know, it's so sad. 1289 01:14:16,715 --> 01:14:18,114 Thanks. 1290 01:14:18,341 --> 01:14:20,252 It's hot. 1291 01:14:22,429 --> 01:14:25,148 I saw her twice in concert. 1292 01:14:25,890 --> 01:14:28,085 She was so great. 1293 01:14:28,393 --> 01:14:31,271 That's one of my favorite songs of hers. 1294 01:14:47,245 --> 01:14:48,519 She was so great. 1295 01:14:50,498 --> 01:14:52,693 She was so funny in concert too. 1296 01:14:52,959 --> 01:14:56,952 She would... She would be right in the middle of a song and then... 1297 01:14:57,297 --> 01:14:59,094 ...you know, stop... 1298 01:14:59,340 --> 01:15:03,253 ...and walk from the piano all the way to the edge of the stage. 1299 01:15:03,595 --> 01:15:05,825 Like, really slowly. 1300 01:15:08,892 --> 01:15:12,043 And she'd start talking to someone in the audience. 1301 01:15:12,354 --> 01:15:15,585 "Oh, yeah, baby. Oh, yeah. 1302 01:15:16,483 --> 01:15:18,633 I love you too. " 1303 01:15:19,152 --> 01:15:23,430 And then she'd walk back. Take her time, no hurry, you know. 1304 01:15:23,782 --> 01:15:27,138 She had that big, cute ass. 1305 01:15:27,452 --> 01:15:28,931 She would move. 1306 01:15:30,705 --> 01:15:35,335 And then she would go back to the piano and play some more, you know. 1307 01:15:37,045 --> 01:15:38,637 And then she would, I don't know... 1308 01:15:38,880 --> 01:15:41,269 ...just start another song in the middle of another. 1309 01:15:41,549 --> 01:15:45,178 You know, like, stop again, and be like: 1310 01:15:45,512 --> 01:15:49,346 "You over there, can you move that fan. 1311 01:15:50,433 --> 01:15:52,469 You're cute. 1312 01:16:13,581 --> 01:16:15,492 Oh, yeah. " 1313 01:16:19,129 --> 01:16:23,247 Baby, you are gonna miss that plane. 1314 01:16:24,718 --> 01:16:26,549 I know. 1315 01:16:26,850 --> 01:16:46,850 Resync By ^^Lututkanan@subscene^^ 113190

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