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1
00:00:00,849 --> 00:00:03,114
- How big is it?
- It's huge!
2
00:00:03,208 --> 00:00:05,098
Is it so big that I can't carry it?
3
00:00:05,123 --> 00:00:06,872
Nah, you can slip it in your pocket.
4
00:00:07,836 --> 00:00:09,304
- Tell me!
- No.
5
00:00:09,579 --> 00:00:12,645
No, because then it won't be
your birthday surprise, will it?
6
00:00:12,670 --> 00:00:13,616
You'll find out tomorrow.
7
00:00:13,641 --> 00:00:16,359
Yeah, another year older,
but wiser? No.
8
00:00:16,586 --> 00:00:19,695
Well, anyway, you can't find out
what it is until after you-know-what.
9
00:00:20,963 --> 00:00:23,495
- Not the pranks.
- It's tradition.
10
00:00:23,520 --> 00:00:27,113
Xena, tradition or not, no practical
jokes this year, all right?
11
00:00:27,137 --> 00:00:28,918
Not at all.
Please?
12
00:00:29,496 --> 00:00:30,497
Please?
13
00:00:30,801 --> 00:00:32,854
Oh, you're gonna have
to do better than that.
14
00:00:33,138 --> 00:00:34,131
Please?
15
00:00:35,277 --> 00:00:36,231
Please?
16
00:00:36,942 --> 00:00:37,861
All right.
17
00:00:38,598 --> 00:00:40,184
No practical jokes.
18
00:00:43,912 --> 00:00:44,865
Good.
19
00:00:48,305 --> 00:00:50,313
- Hold this for a moment, would you?
- Yeah.
20
00:00:52,100 --> 00:00:54,514
You'd think the Helmet of Hermes
would be a little lighter.
21
00:00:54,860 --> 00:00:57,219
I promised King Thoez we'd drop it
off to him for his coronation
22
00:00:57,244 --> 00:00:58,924
since we're going that way anyway.
23
00:00:59,128 --> 00:01:01,214
Does that mean my
present is in Thebes?
24
00:01:01,239 --> 00:01:02,675
What is that?
25
00:01:03,994 --> 00:01:05,759
Xena, give me that.
26
00:01:14,483 --> 00:01:15,804
I don't see anything.
27
00:01:18,051 --> 00:01:19,239
My mistake.
28
00:01:19,973 --> 00:01:23,144
Oh, Lord!
Hear me now!
29
00:01:24,430 --> 00:01:26,906
Oh, Lord!
30
00:01:27,466 --> 00:01:29,060
We beseech thee!
31
00:01:29,640 --> 00:01:32,086
Protect us... from Ferragus!
32
00:01:32,576 --> 00:01:34,818
Protect us from Ferragus!
33
00:01:36,678 --> 00:01:39,678
And lest ya find us
ungrateful, Lord...
34
00:01:40,498 --> 00:01:42,381
we offer you a soul...
35
00:01:43,084 --> 00:01:44,818
of unmatched purity.
36
00:01:45,749 --> 00:01:50,070
We ask that you grant us
sanctuary from the warlord.
37
00:02:26,351 --> 00:02:27,915
Almighty Master!
38
00:02:29,242 --> 00:02:31,547
Save us from disaster!
39
00:02:31,875 --> 00:02:33,729
Save us from disaster!
40
00:02:46,186 --> 00:02:47,367
Put the girl down!
41
00:02:47,392 --> 00:02:49,515
You're interrupting
a religious ceremony!
42
00:02:51,123 --> 00:02:52,389
Forgive me, Father.
43
00:02:53,080 --> 00:02:54,049
Stop her!
44
00:03:28,063 --> 00:03:29,406
Pull it loose.
45
00:03:50,970 --> 00:03:53,877
I commend you... to the Almighty.
46
00:04:12,859 --> 00:04:14,336
It's all right. I've gotcha.
47
00:04:36,541 --> 00:04:37,455
All right...
48
00:04:39,205 --> 00:04:40,071
You all right?
49
00:04:40,201 --> 00:04:43,062
Oh, divine presence, as you
have made yourself mainifest,
50
00:04:43,087 --> 00:04:45,431
take thy humble servant, Genia,
to thy bosom.
51
00:04:47,329 --> 00:04:48,759
These are spoken for.
52
00:04:49,919 --> 00:04:51,622
Now, what are you doing?
53
00:04:52,355 --> 00:04:54,542
Praying to you, oh, flying one!
54
00:04:54,660 --> 00:04:56,519
Oh, no, no, no!
It's just a hat.
55
00:04:56,544 --> 00:04:57,419
Look...
56
00:04:58,208 --> 00:04:59,427
I'm not a god.
57
00:04:59,739 --> 00:05:01,091
My name is Xena.
58
00:05:02,555 --> 00:05:03,250
You mean...
59
00:05:03,577 --> 00:05:04,773
I'm still alive?
60
00:05:05,031 --> 00:05:06,563
You're still alive.
61
00:05:06,820 --> 00:05:08,000
I don't believe it!
62
00:05:08,439 --> 00:05:09,642
Think nothin' of it.
63
00:05:10,539 --> 00:05:12,727
You ruined my sacrifice!
64
00:05:23,913 --> 00:05:26,226
In the time of ancient gods...
65
00:05:28,359 --> 00:05:29,500
...warlords...
66
00:05:30,039 --> 00:05:31,238
...and kings...
67
00:05:31,619 --> 00:05:35,377
a land in turmoil
cried out for a hero.
68
00:05:44,196 --> 00:05:46,176
She was Xena.
69
00:05:46,650 --> 00:05:50,333
A mighty princess,
forged in the heat of battle.
70
00:05:54,731 --> 00:05:55,945
The power...
71
00:05:57,858 --> 00:05:58,999
the passion...
72
00:06:02,287 --> 00:06:03,546
the danger...
73
00:06:09,065 --> 00:06:11,792
Her courage will change the world.
74
00:06:12,854 --> 00:06:15,854
Many Happy Returns
75
00:06:18,020 --> 00:06:21,112
You can't just go around ruining
other people's sacrifices like that!
76
00:06:21,137 --> 00:06:23,700
Why would you wanna sacrifice
yourself to any god?
77
00:06:23,725 --> 00:06:26,170
It's my sacred duty to give
my life to the All-Knowing,
78
00:06:26,195 --> 00:06:27,670
Almighty, to show my...
79
00:06:29,091 --> 00:06:30,263
What is on your eye?
80
00:06:31,161 --> 00:06:33,052
It's a birthmark.
We don't talk about it.
81
00:06:34,100 --> 00:06:35,772
Are you sure you're not a god?
82
00:06:36,914 --> 00:06:39,029
There's nothing divine about Xena.
83
00:06:39,054 --> 00:06:41,124
If she were a god,
then I couldn't do this!
84
00:06:41,149 --> 00:06:42,288
Or that...
85
00:06:42,507 --> 00:06:43,968
Or this...
86
00:06:44,984 --> 00:06:46,780
All right, you made your point!
87
00:06:46,805 --> 00:06:47,617
Ok!
88
00:06:49,369 --> 00:06:50,729
Now look, Genia...
89
00:06:51,053 --> 00:06:54,990
If your god was all-powerful and all-knowing,
then maybe he sent me to save you.
90
00:06:55,198 --> 00:06:57,261
Or maybe he sent you
to test my faith.
91
00:06:57,932 --> 00:07:00,362
I'm going to hold my breath
and sacrifice myself.
92
00:07:01,843 --> 00:07:02,944
Yeah, good one.
93
00:07:03,426 --> 00:07:04,707
Now, listen, Gabrielle...
94
00:07:05,566 --> 00:07:07,113
This kid needs our help.
95
00:07:07,754 --> 00:07:11,113
She's so blindly devoted to that god
of hers she's willing to kill herself.
96
00:07:11,535 --> 00:07:13,863
Why don't we introduce her
to the gods that we know?
97
00:07:13,895 --> 00:07:16,404
Then she wouldn't wanna throw
herself over a cliff for them.
98
00:07:16,723 --> 00:07:18,746
Now, that is not a bad idea.
99
00:07:22,520 --> 00:07:24,348
Come on, Genia.
Quit goofin' around.
100
00:07:25,843 --> 00:07:27,358
I got someone we want you to meet.
101
00:07:32,860 --> 00:07:36,305
They've taken the virgin,
Your Holiness.
102
00:07:38,580 --> 00:07:39,877
Curses me.
103
00:07:42,159 --> 00:07:44,653
We must find the girl!
104
00:07:47,163 --> 00:07:48,741
Oh, yeah...
105
00:07:48,990 --> 00:07:50,576
You're the biggest...
106
00:07:51,027 --> 00:07:52,131
baddest...
107
00:07:52,472 --> 00:07:56,050
warlord this side of Athens!
108
00:08:01,947 --> 00:08:02,866
Father!
109
00:08:03,533 --> 00:08:04,822
News from the zealot camp!
110
00:08:04,847 --> 00:08:07,385
What? Them numbskulls
still think their god's
111
00:08:07,410 --> 00:08:10,301
gonna stop me from raiding
them whenever I like?
112
00:08:12,184 --> 00:08:14,465
Waste of a perfectly good virgin!
113
00:08:15,946 --> 00:08:17,282
Not this time, Pop.
114
00:08:17,852 --> 00:08:19,071
A woman swooped in...
115
00:08:19,484 --> 00:08:20,524
- Dark...
- My eye!
116
00:08:20,549 --> 00:08:21,469
Beautiful...
117
00:08:21,811 --> 00:08:22,743
Dressed in leather...
118
00:08:23,308 --> 00:08:25,738
She jumped off the cliff
and saved the girl!
119
00:08:34,849 --> 00:08:38,756
Xena, the Warrior "Pain in my Ass"!
120
00:08:39,382 --> 00:08:40,452
But wait...
121
00:08:41,212 --> 00:08:44,501
Not even Xena could survive
falling from the cliff!
122
00:08:44,618 --> 00:08:45,665
She didn't fall.
123
00:08:45,892 --> 00:08:46,904
She flew.
124
00:08:47,219 --> 00:08:48,748
She put on this helmet...
125
00:08:48,773 --> 00:08:49,851
and flew.
126
00:08:52,012 --> 00:08:54,918
Must be the Helmet of Hermes.
127
00:08:56,772 --> 00:08:59,850
Son...
I have a job for you.
128
00:09:08,768 --> 00:09:10,893
What a beautiful spot!
129
00:09:10,918 --> 00:09:12,139
Yeah, it's nice.
130
00:09:12,411 --> 00:09:15,013
Nothing like sleeping
under the stars, huh, Xena?
131
00:09:15,278 --> 00:09:18,700
In the convent, they locked me
in my room from sunset to sunrise.
132
00:09:19,403 --> 00:09:20,805
Were you raised to be a priestess?
133
00:09:20,830 --> 00:09:23,528
Oh, no, no. I was raised
to be a virgin sacrifice.
134
00:09:26,220 --> 00:09:26,954
Here.
135
00:09:27,802 --> 00:09:29,194
Make up your bedroll.
136
00:09:39,700 --> 00:09:40,622
There we go.
137
00:09:41,046 --> 00:09:42,507
Now, is there anything
else that I can...?
138
00:09:44,667 --> 00:09:46,979
Last one in is a centaur dropping!
139
00:10:06,100 --> 00:10:06,998
Get off!
140
00:10:08,514 --> 00:10:09,764
I can't believe you did that!
141
00:10:09,789 --> 00:10:10,983
Come on in!
142
00:10:11,835 --> 00:10:12,675
No.
143
00:10:12,700 --> 00:10:15,848
- The water's great!
- No, thank you. It's ok. I'll just...
144
00:10:16,090 --> 00:10:17,574
stay here and look at...
145
00:10:18,223 --> 00:10:19,226
the bushes.
146
00:10:30,690 --> 00:10:33,408
I have never experienced
such pleasure.
147
00:10:33,409 --> 00:10:35,245
And so quickly, too.
148
00:10:36,420 --> 00:10:37,315
Oh, my!
149
00:10:37,518 --> 00:10:39,893
I've eaten one of
the Almighty's creatures!
150
00:10:40,467 --> 00:10:43,537
As penace, I'm going to sleep
on the cold, hard ground.
151
00:10:45,980 --> 00:10:48,824
You know, a better penance
would be to clean the frying pan.
152
00:10:54,138 --> 00:10:55,428
Oh, virgin one...
153
00:10:58,722 --> 00:11:00,230
It gets cold out here.
154
00:11:06,691 --> 00:11:08,464
You know, if the gods didn't
want us to eat fish
155
00:11:08,489 --> 00:11:10,559
then how come they
made it taste so good?
156
00:11:29,020 --> 00:11:30,895
You know, you should get
some rest, Gabrielle.
157
00:11:31,994 --> 00:11:33,588
It's a big day tomorrow.
158
00:11:47,372 --> 00:11:48,771
Stop, Xena!
159
00:11:52,282 --> 00:11:54,986
Would you get your cold,
clammy feet off me?
160
00:11:55,380 --> 00:11:57,724
Gabrielle, I don't know
what you're talking about.
161
00:12:18,786 --> 00:12:20,466
You're not going
to give up, are you?
162
00:12:25,355 --> 00:12:28,268
I hope you know, Xena,
this means war!
163
00:12:53,690 --> 00:12:55,557
What a beautiul morning!
164
00:13:00,729 --> 00:13:01,925
Did you sleep well?
165
00:13:02,227 --> 00:13:03,617
Not particularly.
166
00:13:04,387 --> 00:13:07,840
You know, if you wanna travel with us,
a few things I should tell you.
167
00:13:10,434 --> 00:13:12,442
Never, under any circumstances...
168
00:13:12,705 --> 00:13:15,315
interrrupt Xena when she's
having a morning bath.
169
00:13:22,088 --> 00:13:22,955
Gabrielle!
170
00:13:23,861 --> 00:13:25,134
Yes, Xena?
171
00:13:25,442 --> 00:13:28,661
My clothes are missing!
Any idea where they are?
172
00:13:30,680 --> 00:13:32,774
I think they're
right under your nose.
173
00:13:38,825 --> 00:13:40,403
Oh, it's all right!
Here they are!
174
00:13:59,674 --> 00:14:00,808
I...
175
00:14:01,271 --> 00:14:02,495
I thought...
176
00:14:03,921 --> 00:14:05,678
I mean, Xena, you can catch arrows.
177
00:14:05,703 --> 00:14:08,414
I thought for sure
you could catch... a bucket...
178
00:14:08,599 --> 00:14:09,576
of fish guts.
179
00:14:11,860 --> 00:14:13,587
Happy birthday, Gabrielle.
180
00:14:14,412 --> 00:14:16,343
This means that we're
even now, right?
181
00:14:17,460 --> 00:14:18,530
All even?
182
00:14:20,722 --> 00:14:23,433
No, I think we're
just getting started.
183
00:14:26,249 --> 00:14:27,047
Ok.
184
00:14:31,157 --> 00:14:32,002
Right.
185
00:14:33,556 --> 00:14:35,915
So, this is one
of your gods' temples.
186
00:14:36,188 --> 00:14:36,954
Yep.
187
00:14:37,214 --> 00:14:38,885
A pure and holy place.
188
00:14:41,714 --> 00:14:44,378
Perfect be God...
and all God's places.
189
00:14:45,207 --> 00:14:47,714
Perfect be God...
and all God's graces.
190
00:14:48,245 --> 00:14:49,925
Boy, is she in for a surprise.
191
00:14:50,331 --> 00:14:51,597
Aphrodite?
192
00:14:53,980 --> 00:14:56,746
Well, if it isn't
my favorite girl group.
193
00:14:59,449 --> 00:15:01,606
Genia... Meet Aphrodite.
194
00:15:03,322 --> 00:15:05,042
Goddess of Love.
195
00:15:15,940 --> 00:15:17,073
Aphrodite...
196
00:15:18,337 --> 00:15:19,454
Meet Genia.
197
00:15:19,939 --> 00:15:21,064
A virgin.
198
00:15:21,931 --> 00:15:22,876
I don't believe it.
199
00:15:22,901 --> 00:15:25,605
I don't either!
I thought you guys were extinct!
200
00:15:25,630 --> 00:15:28,534
But... the Goddess of Love
is an evil myth.
201
00:15:28,631 --> 00:15:30,451
Told to rob women of their virtue
202
00:15:30,476 --> 00:15:32,007
and strip men of their pride.
203
00:15:33,743 --> 00:15:36,119
Well, you got the stripping men
part right, honey.
204
00:15:36,291 --> 00:15:37,307
Um, ladies...
205
00:15:37,332 --> 00:15:40,902
Am I mistaken or is it
someone's birthday today?
206
00:15:42,980 --> 00:15:45,957
- Happy birthday, Gaby.
- Thank you.
207
00:15:48,162 --> 00:15:51,014
What is that awful smell?
208
00:15:53,055 --> 00:15:54,024
Listen...
209
00:15:54,556 --> 00:15:56,095
We're going to Thebes
for Gabrielle's birthday.
210
00:15:56,119 --> 00:15:57,157
Care to join us?
211
00:15:57,182 --> 00:15:59,315
Thebes?
You got Sappho tickets?
212
00:16:01,310 --> 00:16:02,167
What row?
213
00:16:02,646 --> 00:16:05,519
Xena, Sappho tickets.
I love her poetry.
214
00:16:05,544 --> 00:16:06,847
Surprise.
215
00:16:11,968 --> 00:16:14,367
- Here, want some water?
- Oh, no. No, no.
216
00:16:15,383 --> 00:16:16,503
Suit yourself.
217
00:16:20,656 --> 00:16:21,553
Thanks.
218
00:16:29,620 --> 00:16:33,011
- Goddesses don't drink.
- Like you're really a goddess...
219
00:16:34,820 --> 00:16:37,398
Watch this.
I like that bag...
220
00:16:40,170 --> 00:16:41,404
I have that bag.
221
00:16:44,897 --> 00:16:46,811
Some sort of illusion, I'm sure.
222
00:16:47,192 --> 00:16:48,585
Ok.
Watch this.
223
00:16:53,140 --> 00:16:54,562
If you were really a god...
224
00:16:54,587 --> 00:16:56,687
you'd use your powers
to reward the faithful
225
00:16:56,712 --> 00:16:57,994
and punish sinners,
226
00:16:58,663 --> 00:17:00,132
not do party tricks.
227
00:17:02,540 --> 00:17:04,829
Well, I'm really more
of a material girl.
228
00:17:05,417 --> 00:17:06,175
Xena...
229
00:17:06,417 --> 00:17:08,370
Can I just pop us to Thebes?
230
00:17:08,395 --> 00:17:09,238
Nope.
231
00:17:09,263 --> 00:17:11,996
I want Genia to spend time with
an honest-to-goodness immortal.
232
00:17:12,021 --> 00:17:14,281
That's you!
Come on, Gabrielle.
233
00:17:14,442 --> 00:17:17,208
The sooner we get going,
the sooner you'll get your present.
234
00:17:18,306 --> 00:17:20,822
She's planning my doom.
I know it. I can feel it.
235
00:17:21,710 --> 00:17:23,296
This is gonna be a fun trip.
236
00:17:23,686 --> 00:17:25,139
Come on, you unfaithful.
237
00:17:47,300 --> 00:17:49,097
So this is what the world's like...
238
00:17:50,100 --> 00:17:54,085
Virgin in the city.
That is so cute! You come with me.
239
00:17:56,289 --> 00:17:57,938
Here, Gabrielle.
Care for a bite?
240
00:17:59,066 --> 00:18:01,104
That's that forbidden
fruit gag, huh?
241
00:18:01,129 --> 00:18:03,348
No, you probably laced it
with chili powder, or...
242
00:18:03,373 --> 00:18:04,536
arsenic...
243
00:18:05,374 --> 00:18:06,280
or not.
244
00:18:17,442 --> 00:18:18,447
Come on, girls.
245
00:18:18,792 --> 00:18:20,058
We got a show to catch.
246
00:18:43,025 --> 00:18:46,314
Gabrielle, look, I'm sorry. I don't know
how I could'a gotten the times wrong.
247
00:18:46,890 --> 00:18:50,915
Xena, I cannot believe we came
all this way and we missed Sappho.
248
00:18:50,940 --> 00:18:53,446
Just relax.
Here. Have a drink.
249
00:18:55,856 --> 00:18:59,231
No, no, Xena.
No dribble cups today.
250
00:19:00,263 --> 00:19:01,180
Suit yourself.
251
00:19:01,654 --> 00:19:02,451
Tell you what.
252
00:19:02,741 --> 00:19:06,210
You look after this,
and I'll go rustle us up some food.
253
00:19:08,715 --> 00:19:10,574
Xena could have taken
her bag with her.
254
00:19:11,137 --> 00:19:13,363
Why would she want me
to hold the Helmet of Hermes, huh?
255
00:19:13,388 --> 00:19:15,505
Oh, it's not.
This is the Helmet of Hermes.
256
00:19:15,732 --> 00:19:18,083
Xena switched bags with us
back at the marketplace.
257
00:19:18,700 --> 00:19:19,895
Did she say why?
258
00:19:20,223 --> 00:19:21,895
Nope.
Just told us to hold it.
259
00:19:23,752 --> 00:19:25,595
Oh, really?
260
00:19:32,370 --> 00:19:33,417
Hi, Xena.
261
00:19:33,886 --> 00:19:36,378
I'm still sitting here,
just watching your bag.
262
00:19:36,977 --> 00:19:38,006
Yeah, thanks.
263
00:19:38,454 --> 00:19:41,008
- Where are the other two?
- They went to freshen up.
264
00:19:41,290 --> 00:19:43,055
We gotta keep an eye on Genia.
265
00:19:43,056 --> 00:19:44,962
Someone was following us
back at the marketplace.
266
00:19:45,408 --> 00:19:46,392
The zealots?
267
00:19:46,677 --> 00:19:49,091
Possibly. They'll be
desperate to get her back.
268
00:19:58,755 --> 00:19:59,981
Xena!
269
00:20:05,512 --> 00:20:06,572
Ferragus...
270
00:20:06,597 --> 00:20:08,742
So, you remember me.
271
00:20:08,767 --> 00:20:11,345
Must have made quite an impression.
272
00:20:11,673 --> 00:20:12,909
It's on your belt buckle.
273
00:20:16,475 --> 00:20:19,109
I want that bag.
274
00:20:19,134 --> 00:20:20,352
It's not for sale.
275
00:20:20,377 --> 00:20:23,173
Who said anything
about paying for it?
276
00:20:23,422 --> 00:20:24,860
Oh, you'll pay.
277
00:20:36,167 --> 00:20:39,542
- Give me that! Give it!
- Get your hands off my bag!
278
00:20:59,395 --> 00:21:01,637
Aphrodite!
Get Genia out of here!
279
00:21:03,316 --> 00:21:04,940
And take the bag with ya!
280
00:21:05,339 --> 00:21:07,589
Like I'd leave behind a new handbag!
281
00:21:12,450 --> 00:21:13,185
You...
282
00:21:13,785 --> 00:21:14,958
You are a goddess!
283
00:21:16,003 --> 00:21:18,815
Well, welcome to the party,
Miss "Fashionably Late".
284
00:21:18,840 --> 00:21:20,135
What took you so long?
285
00:21:50,628 --> 00:21:52,499
- Give it back! Get off my bag!
- Gotcha!
286
00:22:31,802 --> 00:22:33,450
- Here.
- Thanks.
287
00:22:34,091 --> 00:22:36,364
Xena, we have to go after Ferragus.
288
00:22:36,888 --> 00:22:38,200
He has the helmet.
289
00:22:38,528 --> 00:22:41,203
No, Aphrodite's got it.
We switched bags in the marketplace.
290
00:22:41,827 --> 00:22:43,194
I switched them back.
291
00:22:45,549 --> 00:22:46,440
What?
292
00:22:46,780 --> 00:22:49,300
I thought you were trying
to get something over on me, Xena.
293
00:22:51,842 --> 00:22:52,874
I asked for that.
294
00:22:58,875 --> 00:23:01,023
unless you knew
that I would be suspicious
295
00:23:01,048 --> 00:23:02,759
and so you switched the bags.
296
00:23:04,202 --> 00:23:06,795
- I'm not close at all, huh?
- Aphrodite!
297
00:23:16,310 --> 00:23:19,396
For future reference,
I'm now mighty Aphrodite.
298
00:23:20,055 --> 00:23:21,930
My new disciple thought it up.
299
00:23:22,314 --> 00:23:23,283
Your new what?
300
00:23:25,196 --> 00:23:26,523
You were right, Xena.
301
00:23:26,548 --> 00:23:29,955
It was foolish of me to devote
my life to some unknown god.
302
00:23:29,980 --> 00:23:32,847
From now on,
I'm dedicating my life to Aphrodite.
303
00:23:33,664 --> 00:23:35,609
That's not exactly
what we had in mind.
304
00:23:36,944 --> 00:23:38,623
But we'll fix that later.
305
00:23:38,648 --> 00:23:40,953
Right now, we've got some
baggage to claim. Come on.
306
00:23:42,187 --> 00:23:44,101
So, how can I worship
the Goddess of Love
307
00:23:44,126 --> 00:23:46,078
if I've never even experienced it?
308
00:23:46,103 --> 00:23:48,262
You're right, that does
make you kind of a poser.
309
00:23:48,455 --> 00:23:50,189
All right, pick a guy.
310
00:23:50,619 --> 00:23:51,564
Any guy.
311
00:24:04,128 --> 00:24:05,245
I'll take him.
312
00:24:07,003 --> 00:24:10,495
Good girl, bad boy.
Oh, love a classic.
313
00:24:28,403 --> 00:24:30,856
- I love you.
- And I love you.
314
00:24:32,138 --> 00:24:34,811
Love at first sight, my specialty!
315
00:24:36,577 --> 00:24:37,475
Marry me?
316
00:24:38,103 --> 00:24:39,533
I thought you'd never ask.
317
00:24:47,409 --> 00:24:49,042
That man's got our virgin!
318
00:25:18,066 --> 00:25:19,426
What goes up...
319
00:25:19,840 --> 00:25:21,762
must come down.
320
00:25:24,145 --> 00:25:26,301
Since when do warlords get company?
321
00:25:31,258 --> 00:25:32,211
Father!
322
00:25:32,584 --> 00:25:36,162
I want you to meet the most
wonderful girl in the world.
323
00:25:41,520 --> 00:25:43,106
- Genia.
- Genia!
324
00:25:43,582 --> 00:25:44,611
We're in love.
325
00:25:44,636 --> 00:25:46,308
- Really?
- We're engaged.
326
00:25:48,243 --> 00:25:49,763
Aphrodite...
327
00:25:49,788 --> 00:25:52,289
Down if front.
I can't see anything!
328
00:25:52,843 --> 00:25:54,117
What's the matter with you?
329
00:25:54,344 --> 00:25:56,187
You put a love spell on Genia!
330
00:25:56,672 --> 00:25:57,873
That I did.
331
00:25:57,922 --> 00:26:01,000
And even as we speak,
our sweet little virgin
332
00:26:01,001 --> 00:26:04,462
is falling madly in love
with the cutest little son of a...
333
00:26:04,939 --> 00:26:07,728
- Oh well, then...
- Warlord?!
334
00:26:08,084 --> 00:26:11,511
Welcome, young lady,
to my humble abode.
335
00:26:11,546 --> 00:26:14,025
What are you
all standing around for?
336
00:26:14,050 --> 00:26:16,738
Ok. Ok. Just relax, you guys.
Calm down. I can...
337
00:26:17,253 --> 00:26:18,839
- I can take the spell off.
- No!
338
00:26:19,615 --> 00:26:21,381
No, you'll throw Genia for a loop.
339
00:26:21,874 --> 00:26:23,438
Just follow my lead.
340
00:26:33,930 --> 00:26:34,750
Frankus.
341
00:26:38,883 --> 00:26:41,399
Easy action there, fella,
we're about to be family.
342
00:26:42,003 --> 00:26:44,182
Well, you must be Frankus.
343
00:26:44,207 --> 00:26:48,043
My boy, good to know ya. I'm Anthrax,
and this is my wife, Spittoonia.
344
00:26:48,250 --> 00:26:49,672
We just wanted to know
what kind of a family
345
00:26:49,697 --> 00:26:51,585
our little girl was
marrying herself into.
346
00:26:51,990 --> 00:26:53,701
Genia, your parents are here.
347
00:26:53,976 --> 00:26:55,156
My parents?
348
00:26:57,058 --> 00:26:59,574
- But... my parents are de...
- Dedicated to makin' sure that you have...
349
00:26:59,581 --> 00:27:01,963
the best weddin' ever, pookie.
350
00:27:02,167 --> 00:27:03,956
- That's right.
- Oh, look at these two.
351
00:27:03,981 --> 00:27:06,551
Like son, like father.
Am I right?
352
00:27:07,100 --> 00:27:09,311
Aren't weddin's just
the biggest drag to organize?
353
00:27:10,014 --> 00:27:12,222
Which is why we brought
along a little help.
354
00:27:14,635 --> 00:27:15,471
Belle...
355
00:27:16,707 --> 00:27:18,840
of Belle's Bridal Barn.
356
00:27:19,328 --> 00:27:22,188
'Cause I put the "ding"...
in wedding.
357
00:27:22,427 --> 00:27:23,945
Yes, you do, sister.
358
00:27:23,970 --> 00:27:26,751
Now, we should start
by selecting the cover scheme.
359
00:27:27,298 --> 00:27:30,681
Corinthian white!
Oh, exquisite selection.
360
00:27:31,087 --> 00:27:32,819
And now, about the outfits...
361
00:27:32,983 --> 00:27:34,272
Shouldn't I decide that?
362
00:27:34,297 --> 00:27:37,069
Oh, honey, let's leave that up
to the experts, shall we, pookie?
363
00:27:37,094 --> 00:27:40,045
Belle, why don't you fix up these two
fine fellas with some new duds, while...
364
00:27:40,070 --> 00:27:43,890
we go and have that long overdue talk
with Genia about her conjugals?
365
00:27:45,498 --> 00:27:49,287
Now, I see before my eyes...
harem pants.
366
00:27:55,700 --> 00:27:57,184
Aphrodite!
367
00:27:58,676 --> 00:28:01,011
- Where am I?
- You're in Ferragus' lair.
368
00:28:01,696 --> 00:28:03,157
- Xena?
- Yeah.
369
00:28:03,870 --> 00:28:05,235
What am I doing here?
370
00:28:05,260 --> 00:28:08,088
Remember? I put a spell on you to
make you fall in love with his son?
371
00:28:08,751 --> 00:28:09,807
That's right.
372
00:28:10,095 --> 00:28:12,891
I wanted to fully experience
my goddess' power.
373
00:28:12,916 --> 00:28:15,525
Just like you wanted to kill
yourself for a bloodthirsty god.
374
00:28:15,885 --> 00:28:19,122
Genia, you can't give up your life
for every deity that comes along.
375
00:28:19,590 --> 00:28:21,949
It's true, sweet pea.
We're not all we're cracked up to be.
376
00:28:21,974 --> 00:28:25,060
Well, how am I supposed to live
my life with no one to lead me?
377
00:28:25,085 --> 00:28:28,204
You gotta stop following.
Maybe you can be your own guide.
378
00:28:28,691 --> 00:28:31,402
Genia, haven't you ever
felt happy just to be yourself?
379
00:28:32,961 --> 00:28:35,734
Yes, these past few days
with you and Gabrielle.
380
00:28:35,879 --> 00:28:37,121
Well, that's a start.
381
00:28:37,543 --> 00:28:39,035
Now we're gonna get you outta here.
382
00:28:40,581 --> 00:28:41,495
Stay.
383
00:28:46,659 --> 00:28:48,612
I don't know, it's a bit...
384
00:28:48,784 --> 00:28:50,956
- girlie.
- Oh, no, honey...
385
00:28:50,981 --> 00:28:52,614
Not with those shoulders.
386
00:28:53,929 --> 00:28:55,811
Now, for the final touch.
387
00:28:56,418 --> 00:28:58,512
The helmet stays!
388
00:29:03,528 --> 00:29:06,896
So, I hear from Genia
that you're in the warlord business.
389
00:29:08,289 --> 00:29:10,102
That as dangerous as they say?
390
00:29:10,614 --> 00:29:12,091
And then some.
391
00:29:12,272 --> 00:29:13,827
Yeah?
You got any scars?
392
00:29:14,566 --> 00:29:16,441
Here.
This scar?
393
00:29:17,094 --> 00:29:19,297
Guy took out my spleen!
394
00:29:19,938 --> 00:29:21,501
Well, who needs a spleen?
395
00:29:22,253 --> 00:29:23,089
There...!
396
00:29:23,114 --> 00:29:25,191
Guy got me with a short sword!
397
00:29:25,208 --> 00:29:26,653
Lucky it wasn't a long one.
398
00:29:27,375 --> 00:29:28,856
You want scars?
399
00:29:28,881 --> 00:29:30,991
Well, I'll give you scars!
400
00:29:39,587 --> 00:29:42,772
Got this scar given to me by Xena!
401
00:29:42,797 --> 00:29:45,266
The Warrior Princess herself!
402
00:29:45,703 --> 00:29:47,214
Let me take a look at that.
403
00:29:47,946 --> 00:29:49,048
I don't remember.
404
00:29:50,715 --> 00:29:51,980
Have to come to the light.
405
00:29:52,980 --> 00:29:54,340
Oh, yeah!
406
00:29:54,465 --> 00:29:56,481
Why, that Xena really is somethin'.
407
00:29:56,506 --> 00:29:58,756
She nearly split ya open
like a coconut.
408
00:29:59,443 --> 00:30:00,394
You know what?
409
00:30:00,731 --> 00:30:02,909
I think I better take
my little girl outta here.
410
00:30:02,934 --> 00:30:06,051
It doesn't do for the bride to be
exposed before the big day.
411
00:30:06,346 --> 00:30:08,487
Plenty of time for that afterwards.
Know what I mean?
412
00:30:15,787 --> 00:30:17,224
Now, about my bill...
413
00:30:20,860 --> 00:30:21,696
Ok...
414
00:30:21,912 --> 00:30:24,474
I'm gonna put some distance
between you and that warlord.
415
00:30:28,624 --> 00:30:30,132
That oughtta keep her out of trouble.
416
00:30:35,961 --> 00:30:36,750
That's her!
417
00:30:46,250 --> 00:30:47,774
Thy will be done!
418
00:30:51,714 --> 00:30:54,034
- Ok, where's the bag?
- Genia has it.
419
00:30:54,690 --> 00:30:55,588
Where's Genia?
420
00:30:55,613 --> 00:30:57,024
Oh, I popped her back
to the marketplace.
421
00:30:57,049 --> 00:30:59,135
She might as well shop
while she's waiting.
422
00:30:59,835 --> 00:31:00,605
What?
423
00:31:01,191 --> 00:31:04,014
Don't thank me!
Just doin' the god thing.
424
00:31:04,015 --> 00:31:06,742
Aphrodite, the zealots
are looking for her there!
425
00:31:07,195 --> 00:31:10,171
Robe, altar, human sacrifice.
426
00:31:11,392 --> 00:31:13,400
That was a true story?
427
00:31:24,370 --> 00:31:25,753
Wait a minute.
428
00:31:30,784 --> 00:31:32,238
No!
429
00:31:33,230 --> 00:31:36,324
I knew that Anthrax looked familiar.
430
00:31:36,566 --> 00:31:39,029
Xena!!!
431
00:31:40,347 --> 00:31:42,753
Worming her way into my lair!
432
00:31:43,363 --> 00:31:45,245
Stealing my helmet!
433
00:31:45,573 --> 00:31:48,519
I'll kill her!!!
434
00:31:49,938 --> 00:31:52,954
Perhaps I could be
of some assistance.
435
00:32:06,380 --> 00:32:08,716
Where's the helmet?
436
00:32:09,139 --> 00:32:11,952
You can have it back,
if we can make a deal.
437
00:32:12,954 --> 00:32:14,290
I'm listening.
438
00:32:17,769 --> 00:32:19,780
There's no sign of Genia anywhere.
439
00:32:19,957 --> 00:32:21,685
- This is my fault.
- No! It's my fault!
440
00:32:21,710 --> 00:32:23,194
I cast a spell on her.
441
00:32:23,219 --> 00:32:24,654
Yeah, but I switched the bags.
442
00:32:24,679 --> 00:32:27,490
If I hadn't been so suspicious at
the tavern, this wouldn't have happened.
443
00:32:27,515 --> 00:32:28,443
Gabrielle!
444
00:32:29,299 --> 00:32:30,377
What'd you find?
445
00:32:31,112 --> 00:32:31,885
This.
446
00:32:32,127 --> 00:32:33,385
She's been sacrificed!
447
00:32:33,410 --> 00:32:34,666
Maybe not yet.
448
00:32:34,940 --> 00:32:37,006
There's a zealot temple
two miles down the road.
449
00:32:37,031 --> 00:32:38,646
I'm guessing they'd wanna do it there.
450
00:32:38,671 --> 00:32:41,570
Ok, so what I can do to help?
I can cast a spell...
451
00:32:42,339 --> 00:32:43,448
Or maybe not.
452
00:32:43,820 --> 00:32:46,414
Actually, Aphrodite,
there is something you can do.
453
00:32:51,678 --> 00:32:53,490
Almighty Master...
454
00:32:54,451 --> 00:32:56,554
We ask you one more time...
455
00:32:56,846 --> 00:32:58,979
Take this virgin sacrifice...
456
00:32:59,366 --> 00:33:01,905
- and protect us from our enemies.
- Zarat!
457
00:33:02,762 --> 00:33:03,663
Xena!
458
00:33:06,202 --> 00:33:08,278
Haven't you ever heard of
religious freedom?
459
00:33:08,303 --> 00:33:11,809
Freedom has nothing to do with
sacrificing Genia, or anyone else.
460
00:33:11,834 --> 00:33:13,634
And neither has religion.
461
00:33:13,784 --> 00:33:15,487
This ends here.
462
00:33:16,426 --> 00:33:17,357
We'll see.
463
00:33:37,488 --> 00:33:40,029
Stay out of this, Ferragus!
I'll deal with you later.
464
00:33:40,054 --> 00:33:42,699
I don't think so. You see?
465
00:33:42,724 --> 00:33:45,896
In exchange for the helmet...
I promised Zarat here...
466
00:33:46,209 --> 00:33:48,318
I'd take you out of the picture.
467
00:33:48,343 --> 00:33:50,792
Well, since when do warlords
keep their promises?
468
00:33:50,817 --> 00:33:53,606
Since I wanted to kick
your butt anyway!
469
00:35:25,379 --> 00:35:27,035
What's the matter, Xena?
470
00:35:27,060 --> 00:35:28,895
Losing your touch?
471
00:35:29,346 --> 00:35:30,612
Touch this!
472
00:36:21,474 --> 00:36:22,443
Thank you!
473
00:36:35,274 --> 00:36:36,407
Gabrielle, catch!
474
00:37:19,644 --> 00:37:20,620
Gabrielle!
475
00:37:20,815 --> 00:37:21,831
Up here!
476
00:37:24,940 --> 00:37:27,753
You may have stopped this sacrifice,
Xena, but that's all!
477
00:37:28,018 --> 00:37:29,868
I will find other followers.
478
00:37:30,626 --> 00:37:32,222
Perhaps my next tribe...
479
00:37:33,161 --> 00:37:34,833
will offer their sacrifices...
480
00:37:35,778 --> 00:37:36,645
to me.
481
00:37:42,395 --> 00:37:43,496
Or not.
482
00:37:45,488 --> 00:37:46,528
What happened?
483
00:37:47,110 --> 00:37:50,126
- He was wearing the helmet.
- He was wearing a helmet.
484
00:37:52,138 --> 00:37:55,568
Xena had me switch the helmets...
just in case.
485
00:37:56,081 --> 00:37:57,995
So...
where's the Helmet of Hermes?
486
00:37:59,666 --> 00:38:00,963
Right here, sweet pea.
487
00:38:10,090 --> 00:38:12,723
I can't believe I was gonna
give my life away to them.
488
00:38:15,130 --> 00:38:16,998
Genia...
Genia!
489
00:38:18,363 --> 00:38:20,206
I was afraid I'd be too late.
490
00:38:20,683 --> 00:38:21,620
Frankus...
491
00:38:22,034 --> 00:38:23,247
I'm sorry, but...
492
00:38:23,810 --> 00:38:25,091
we can't be together.
493
00:38:25,500 --> 00:38:27,367
It's... 'cause of
the old man, isn't it?
494
00:38:27,392 --> 00:38:28,396
No.
495
00:38:28,929 --> 00:38:31,812
Xena's shown me that I can't
live my life following others.
496
00:38:32,595 --> 00:38:34,150
I have to be my own person...
497
00:38:34,524 --> 00:38:36,064
and chase my own dreams.
498
00:38:36,892 --> 00:38:38,181
We can still be friends.
499
00:38:42,561 --> 00:38:45,785
Xena... You and Gabrielle are gonna
have to go along without me.
500
00:38:45,810 --> 00:38:47,013
Oh, you're sure?
501
00:38:47,278 --> 00:38:48,289
Before we met...
502
00:38:48,314 --> 00:38:51,150
I thought the best thing I could
do with my life was throw it away.
503
00:38:51,603 --> 00:38:53,589
But now I found something
worth living for.
504
00:38:53,801 --> 00:38:54,541
What?
505
00:38:55,123 --> 00:38:57,779
I'm turning the convent into
a shelter for those in need.
506
00:38:58,240 --> 00:38:59,887
Well, that is great.
507
00:39:02,993 --> 00:39:04,048
Good for you.
508
00:39:04,798 --> 00:39:06,416
Oh, I almost forgot...
509
00:39:07,893 --> 00:39:09,081
Happy birthday.
510
00:39:09,509 --> 00:39:12,892
Speaking of which...
we have got a show to catch.
511
00:39:13,217 --> 00:39:14,417
Bye-bye.
512
00:39:14,875 --> 00:39:16,595
Have fun, you two.
513
00:39:17,289 --> 00:39:18,782
So, friends?
514
00:39:18,807 --> 00:39:21,572
I can work with that.
Some of my best friends are friends.
515
00:39:22,125 --> 00:39:26,156
But... we need to rethink
the whole retro-sacrificial thing.
516
00:39:28,673 --> 00:39:30,470
I'm really sorry, Gabrielle.
517
00:39:30,845 --> 00:39:33,502
I didn't realize Sappho was
only here for one performance.
518
00:39:33,699 --> 00:39:35,520
It's the thought that counts, Xena.
519
00:39:36,182 --> 00:39:38,543
Although I would like to hear
her read her poetry one day.
520
00:39:40,665 --> 00:39:43,532
You know, how did you fall
for my fish-guts gag?
521
00:39:43,557 --> 00:39:44,431
I don't know.
522
00:39:46,313 --> 00:39:48,758
You knew that I would go crazy
waiting for you to get even.
523
00:39:49,299 --> 00:39:51,432
Xena, didn't see it coming.
524
00:39:52,221 --> 00:39:54,353
Nor that.
Now we're even.
525
00:39:56,991 --> 00:39:58,257
Here, give me that.
526
00:40:00,337 --> 00:40:02,181
- I want you to close your eyes.
- No.
527
00:40:02,206 --> 00:40:04,175
- Trust me, please.
- No.
528
00:40:04,842 --> 00:40:05,920
Close your eyes.
529
00:40:20,178 --> 00:40:21,202
What is this?
530
00:40:23,009 --> 00:40:23,960
Open it.
531
00:40:29,384 --> 00:40:31,314
I had Sappho
jot somethin' down for ya.
532
00:40:33,193 --> 00:40:34,162
A poem?
533
00:40:35,819 --> 00:40:38,553
Sappho wrote a poem for me.
I don't believe it. Xena...
534
00:40:40,666 --> 00:40:42,611
You had this planned
all along, didn't you?
535
00:40:45,738 --> 00:40:47,644
"There's a moment
when I look at you...
536
00:40:48,691 --> 00:40:50,615
and no speech is left in me.
537
00:40:51,576 --> 00:40:52,989
My tongue breaks...
538
00:40:53,014 --> 00:40:55,991
then fire races under
my skin and I tremble.
539
00:40:57,759 --> 00:41:00,493
And grow pale for
I am dying of such love.
540
00:41:00,712 --> 00:41:02,431
Or so it seems to me."
541
00:41:04,110 --> 00:41:05,587
It's beautiful!
542
00:41:08,820 --> 00:41:11,492
This is the best birthday present
I have ever had.
543
00:41:13,233 --> 00:41:14,959
Of course, it ain't over yet.
544
00:41:21,106 --> 00:41:23,200
Happy birthday, Gabrielle!
38265
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