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1
00:01:14,063 --> 00:01:17,282
2000-year-old hair samples,
perfectly preserved.
2
00:01:39,304 --> 00:01:40,476
It's all there.
3
00:01:43,665 --> 00:01:44,845
Thanks.
4
00:02:05,564 --> 00:02:06,846
What's it gonna be, Xena?
5
00:02:07,657 --> 00:02:09,087
All right, you win.
6
00:02:09,532 --> 00:02:12,656
You give me my child's soul and
I will take you back to my world.
7
00:02:14,148 --> 00:02:17,148
First you take me back,
then you get your child.
8
00:02:17,326 --> 00:02:19,148
The ritual's already begun.
9
00:02:19,960 --> 00:02:21,974
All you have to do is take my hand.
10
00:02:22,794 --> 00:02:24,819
I knew you'd see things my way.
11
00:02:53,219 --> 00:02:54,977
Now the real fun starts.
12
00:02:59,470 --> 00:03:00,501
You know...
13
00:03:00,626 --> 00:03:03,025
I just loved everything
about this episode.
14
00:03:03,478 --> 00:03:05,980
Yeah, that's a good one.
We should definitely include that.
15
00:03:06,005 --> 00:03:09,763
You know? It's important we have clips
that strongly represent Xena's enemies.
16
00:03:11,022 --> 00:03:13,178
Shouldn't we have
some more Joxer stuff?
17
00:03:13,577 --> 00:03:15,132
You're kidding, aren't you?
18
00:03:21,722 --> 00:03:23,535
Could someone get that phone?
19
00:03:28,472 --> 00:03:30,167
- Y'ello?
- It's Alexis.
20
00:03:31,628 --> 00:03:32,675
It's her.
21
00:03:35,671 --> 00:03:36,516
Yes, Alexis?
22
00:03:36,541 --> 00:03:38,602
Phase 1 is complete.
Have you compiled the clips?
23
00:03:38,900 --> 00:03:41,310
- They're almost done.
- They need to be on digital discs.
24
00:03:41,335 --> 00:03:43,311
When we transfer there
can't be any dropping of...
25
00:03:43,336 --> 00:03:46,378
Alexis, this is my field.
I'm the computer nerd, remember?
26
00:03:46,403 --> 00:03:47,661
I know what I'm doing.
27
00:03:48,348 --> 00:03:50,083
Do you have a balanced selection?
28
00:03:50,371 --> 00:03:52,449
Personally,
I'd like to see more Joxer stuff.
29
00:03:52,474 --> 00:03:54,763
Look, any disagreements
will be settled by Lea.
30
00:03:54,788 --> 00:03:57,938
She's working with us because of her
knowledge of psychological profiles.
31
00:03:57,963 --> 00:03:59,305
You'll defer to her.
32
00:03:59,991 --> 00:04:00,874
All right.
33
00:04:01,302 --> 00:04:04,144
And the rest of the team, has it
come together? Do you have Dr. Polly?
34
00:04:04,169 --> 00:04:05,310
- Yes.
- Great.
35
00:04:05,335 --> 00:04:07,850
Three of you meet me
here in 72 hours.
36
00:04:08,230 --> 00:04:09,091
Okey-dokey.
37
00:04:24,418 --> 00:04:25,967
Well?!
Did it work?!
38
00:04:25,968 --> 00:04:27,585
Please, tell us what
we want to hear, Alexis!
39
00:04:27,610 --> 00:04:30,321
- The DNA in the hair, was it...?
- Everthing we hoped for.
40
00:04:31,307 --> 00:04:35,409
Maturation acceleration worked
beyond my wildest dreams.
41
00:04:36,712 --> 00:04:37,431
Well...
42
00:04:37,962 --> 00:04:39,056
See for yourselves.
43
00:04:48,954 --> 00:04:50,407
I'm gonna cry!
44
00:04:52,503 --> 00:04:54,018
Awesome...
45
00:04:54,999 --> 00:04:55,804
Cool...
46
00:05:06,693 --> 00:05:09,006
In the time of ancient gods...
47
00:05:11,045 --> 00:05:12,186
...warlords...
48
00:05:12,709 --> 00:05:13,908
...and kings...
49
00:05:14,399 --> 00:05:18,157
a land in turmoil
cried out for a hero.
50
00:05:26,913 --> 00:05:28,893
She was Xena.
51
00:05:29,336 --> 00:05:33,019
A mighty princess,
forged in the heat of battle.
52
00:05:37,511 --> 00:05:38,725
The power...
53
00:05:40,638 --> 00:05:41,779
the passion...
54
00:05:45,067 --> 00:05:46,326
the danger...
55
00:05:51,845 --> 00:05:54,572
Her courage will change the world.
56
00:05:55,634 --> 00:05:58,634
Send in the Clones
57
00:06:00,632 --> 00:06:02,469
Physically, the clones are complete.
58
00:06:02,494 --> 00:06:05,228
Now we just need to use
the clips to bring them to life.
59
00:06:07,747 --> 00:06:11,427
So, your man in Macedonia
really came through, huh?
60
00:06:12,227 --> 00:06:15,750
He promised me two strands of hair
from the tomb of the scrolls...
61
00:06:15,990 --> 00:06:17,006
and he delivered.
62
00:06:17,685 --> 00:06:22,139
My carbon testing shows the hairs
to be between 2 and 3000 years old.
63
00:06:23,109 --> 00:06:25,636
Two ancient mycenaean heroes...
64
00:06:25,757 --> 00:06:28,617
alive in the 21st century.
65
00:06:28,889 --> 00:06:31,967
From here on,
the world will be a better place!
66
00:06:32,407 --> 00:06:34,336
If we can wake them successfully.
67
00:06:34,929 --> 00:06:37,867
Right now, they're just
clones of the originals.
68
00:06:38,342 --> 00:06:41,068
Xena and Gabrielle's
memories and personalities...
69
00:06:41,240 --> 00:06:42,114
are dormant.
70
00:06:42,139 --> 00:06:45,268
Yeah, but they're great
to look at just the way they are.
71
00:06:45,293 --> 00:06:46,848
Don't be a male cliche!
72
00:06:46,873 --> 00:06:48,936
You telling me you're
excited by looking at...
73
00:06:48,961 --> 00:06:53,202
liefeless female forms
that have no mind or personality?
74
00:06:54,667 --> 00:06:55,503
Yeah.
75
00:06:57,906 --> 00:06:59,743
- The disks?
- Oh, sure.
76
00:07:01,020 --> 00:07:02,520
I gotta be honest with you, though.
77
00:07:02,545 --> 00:07:05,857
Gabfan here loaded this 1st one up
pretty heavily with Gabrielle stuff.
78
00:07:05,882 --> 00:07:07,890
Yeah, you'd think all
they did was sit around in baths
79
00:07:07,915 --> 00:07:09,555
and at campfires emoting!
80
00:07:09,580 --> 00:07:11,795
I included other things,
but I feel very strongtly
81
00:07:11,820 --> 00:07:14,553
that Gabrielle is the most important
relationship in Xena's life.
82
00:07:14,578 --> 00:07:17,303
If you start talking about subtext,
I'm gonna barf.
83
00:07:17,328 --> 00:07:20,131
We're not bringing her back to life
to counsel the lovelorn!
84
00:07:20,156 --> 00:07:22,649
- She's gotta be able to kick ass!
- Yeah, but Joxer is just...
85
00:07:22,814 --> 00:07:23,893
Xena without...
86
00:07:24,410 --> 00:07:25,817
We'll settle this later.
87
00:07:25,842 --> 00:07:28,873
Polly, could you prepare the clones
for download, please?
88
00:07:29,551 --> 00:07:30,427
Ok!
89
00:07:39,008 --> 00:07:40,121
All set.
90
00:07:40,382 --> 00:07:42,960
Let's start with the official
video salute to Gabrielle!
91
00:07:42,985 --> 00:07:47,541
To the tune of Bette Midler's
"Wind Beneath My Wings".
92
00:07:47,566 --> 00:07:51,156
Whoa... They need
a wake-up call, not sleep-aids.
93
00:07:51,181 --> 00:07:53,009
Let's start with Polly's selection.
94
00:07:53,034 --> 00:07:56,222
But Gabrielle is more important
than Xena's fighting skills.
95
00:07:56,979 --> 00:07:58,706
In the overall picture sure, but...
96
00:07:58,885 --> 00:08:01,021
she's a warrior, first and foremost.
97
00:08:01,578 --> 00:08:02,993
Use Polly's selection.
98
00:08:24,756 --> 00:08:26,264
Give it your best shot.
99
00:09:03,953 --> 00:09:06,023
Wow, she looked so dangerous in this.
100
00:09:12,156 --> 00:09:13,468
See that one?
I loved that one.
101
00:09:17,816 --> 00:09:19,853
You know...
That's not a stunt double.
102
00:09:19,878 --> 00:09:21,721
Your kingdom awaits!
103
00:09:35,186 --> 00:09:36,256
They're not responding.
104
00:09:36,281 --> 00:09:38,866
No R.E.M., no synaptic,
or adrenal reactions.
105
00:09:41,750 --> 00:09:44,117
Hey, what'd you stop it for?
That was rockin'!
106
00:09:44,995 --> 00:09:48,222
She needs a dose of Gaby.
That'll jump-start her heart.
107
00:09:48,581 --> 00:09:49,815
Heart-schmart.
108
00:09:50,385 --> 00:09:52,635
Maybe we're goin' about this
all the wrong way. Maybe...
109
00:09:52,815 --> 00:09:55,283
we need a more hands-on approach...
What about a bit of...
110
00:09:55,729 --> 00:09:57,237
cardiac massage?
111
00:09:57,756 --> 00:09:58,717
He could be right.
112
00:09:59,373 --> 00:09:59,990
Or...
113
00:10:00,691 --> 00:10:01,793
mouth-to-mouth.
114
00:10:02,323 --> 00:10:04,596
Maybe what you two need
is a bucket of cold water.
115
00:10:04,621 --> 00:10:05,965
Or your asses kicked.
116
00:10:06,445 --> 00:10:07,641
Think about...
117
00:10:07,976 --> 00:10:10,062
the fun they had together.
118
00:10:12,525 --> 00:10:15,132
The baths they shared.
119
00:10:15,235 --> 00:10:18,320
If you're talkin' about their special
relationship, I'm into that.
120
00:10:18,485 --> 00:10:20,142
- Just let me watch.
- You know what?
121
00:10:20,167 --> 00:10:22,233
I think... that's it for today.
122
00:10:22,242 --> 00:10:23,664
If we download too much, they...
123
00:10:24,297 --> 00:10:25,515
they could go crazy.
124
00:10:26,132 --> 00:10:27,960
When they wake up,
they'll need clothes.
125
00:10:27,985 --> 00:10:29,946
I ordered their costumes
from the catalog.
126
00:10:29,971 --> 00:10:32,869
- I'll bring 'em in tomorrow!
- I can't wait to dress them!
127
00:11:40,467 --> 00:11:42,522
You'll be dead in 30 seconds.
128
00:11:43,872 --> 00:11:46,068
But know this, you won't be the last.
129
00:11:46,638 --> 00:11:48,747
Tell Hades to prepare himself.
130
00:11:49,009 --> 00:11:51,181
A new Xena is born tonight.
131
00:11:52,969 --> 00:11:54,891
With a new purpose in life.
132
00:11:56,648 --> 00:11:57,664
Death.
133
00:12:28,958 --> 00:12:29,958
I say...
134
00:12:30,386 --> 00:12:31,683
Kill 'em all!
135
00:12:35,175 --> 00:12:36,612
Put her on the cross.
136
00:12:40,787 --> 00:12:42,471
Break her legs.
137
00:12:55,918 --> 00:12:58,754
I know Gabrielle was
always a fast learner.
138
00:12:59,600 --> 00:13:00,648
Oh, no!
139
00:13:01,862 --> 00:13:04,079
You cut her hair!
140
00:13:04,104 --> 00:13:07,564
I wanted her to have long hair,
like classic Gaby!
141
00:13:08,087 --> 00:13:09,509
Only in the reruns, babe.
142
00:13:15,335 --> 00:13:17,171
- That's strange...
- What?
143
00:13:17,858 --> 00:13:20,210
There's a download in here
that I didn't do.
144
00:13:20,846 --> 00:13:21,846
Let's have a look at it.
145
00:13:28,142 --> 00:13:30,149
I didn't compile this footage.
146
00:13:31,165 --> 00:13:33,181
Those are all evil Xena images.
147
00:13:34,102 --> 00:13:36,952
Somebody must've gotten
into the computer after we left.
148
00:13:36,977 --> 00:13:37,790
How...
149
00:13:38,079 --> 00:13:39,250
did that happen?
150
00:13:44,311 --> 00:13:46,084
Her life signs have elevated.
151
00:13:46,961 --> 00:13:48,407
Something's had an effect.
152
00:13:49,844 --> 00:13:51,156
They're gonna wake up soon.
153
00:13:51,736 --> 00:13:53,158
We better get them ready.
154
00:13:53,183 --> 00:13:54,894
Yeah, but which Xena's
gonna wake up...
155
00:13:54,919 --> 00:13:58,615
The power-hungry warrior motivated
only by blood lust and hate?
156
00:13:58,627 --> 00:14:01,205
I would get my
hands off of her boobs.
157
00:14:02,400 --> 00:14:03,744
This is serious.
158
00:14:03,768 --> 00:14:05,391
If Xena's been watching
that tape all night
159
00:14:05,416 --> 00:14:06,736
she could've suffered deep trauma.
160
00:14:06,761 --> 00:14:08,527
I'm telling you, we should feed
both her and Gabrielle
161
00:14:08,551 --> 00:14:10,551
my Gaby tapes to repair the damage.
162
00:14:10,576 --> 00:14:13,661
Yes. The Gabrielle tapes
are essential now.
163
00:14:21,634 --> 00:14:22,611
Ok...
164
00:14:23,181 --> 00:14:24,736
Bringing up Gabrielle footage.
165
00:14:25,776 --> 00:14:27,308
Take me with you.
166
00:14:28,477 --> 00:14:30,867
I want so much to be like you...
167
00:14:32,937 --> 00:14:34,608
And I want to be like you.
168
00:14:38,231 --> 00:14:39,010
Eli...
169
00:14:40,027 --> 00:14:41,668
I failed my first test.
170
00:14:42,923 --> 00:14:44,478
It's hard the Way of Love.
171
00:14:45,457 --> 00:14:46,926
It may not be right for you.
172
00:14:47,746 --> 00:14:49,277
But if you choose to follow it...
173
00:14:49,773 --> 00:14:51,460
you must do so with all your heart.
174
00:14:52,850 --> 00:14:54,272
You'll fail more than once.
175
00:14:54,530 --> 00:14:55,936
But don't give up hope.
176
00:14:56,207 --> 00:14:57,066
In the end,
177
00:14:57,933 --> 00:14:59,152
you'll redeem the world.
178
00:15:04,448 --> 00:15:06,612
I'm sorry I took you so far
from your truth.
179
00:15:09,278 --> 00:15:10,333
Don't be sorry.
180
00:15:14,311 --> 00:15:15,133
Xena...
181
00:15:16,209 --> 00:15:19,334
Do you think I could have understood
the power of selfless love...
182
00:15:19,856 --> 00:15:21,279
if it weren't for our friendship?
183
00:15:23,044 --> 00:15:26,067
Enough with the lovey-dovey crap!
You're putting 'em back to sleep!
184
00:15:26,387 --> 00:15:27,950
I actually agree with you.
185
00:15:27,958 --> 00:15:30,657
Even Gabrielle herself
needs a sense of her mission.
186
00:15:30,682 --> 00:15:32,627
Download
Polly's Gabrielle selection.
187
00:15:32,884 --> 00:15:33,821
Loading...
188
00:15:34,807 --> 00:15:36,681
Gaby's action footage.
189
00:15:51,608 --> 00:15:52,842
That's more like it.
190
00:16:19,863 --> 00:16:22,301
We need more positive input into Xena
191
00:16:22,326 --> 00:16:24,654
to counteract those evil images.
A scene showing...
192
00:16:25,201 --> 00:16:27,240
the consequences of her dark past.
193
00:16:27,603 --> 00:16:28,728
Bring up that one.
194
00:16:32,399 --> 00:16:34,422
Some call me the Warrior Princess.
195
00:16:36,312 --> 00:16:37,680
Some call me murderer.
196
00:16:38,719 --> 00:16:41,351
Many years ago,
there was a village called Cirra.
197
00:16:42,467 --> 00:16:44,334
It was a village just like yours.
198
00:16:44,868 --> 00:16:47,267
Small and prosperous, full of life.
199
00:16:49,126 --> 00:16:51,181
Until a day that my army came.
200
00:16:52,923 --> 00:16:54,300
Until the day that I came...
201
00:16:56,156 --> 00:16:57,211
destroyed it.
202
00:17:00,517 --> 00:17:02,407
Under my orders, my men...
203
00:17:03,478 --> 00:17:04,775
they sacked the village...
204
00:17:06,610 --> 00:17:07,851
Burned the houses...
205
00:17:09,398 --> 00:17:11,097
and killed every living thing.
206
00:17:12,586 --> 00:17:14,156
Everything was destroyed...
207
00:17:15,582 --> 00:17:18,332
including the soul
of one young, innocent girl...
208
00:17:20,509 --> 00:17:23,196
who will never be able
to reclaim her childhood...
209
00:17:24,191 --> 00:17:27,324
and will never know what the Fates
had planned for her if not for me.
210
00:17:28,227 --> 00:17:30,764
I wonder if that was
such a good idea.
211
00:17:30,789 --> 00:17:33,320
Seeing Callisto again's only
gonna make her blood boil.
212
00:17:33,631 --> 00:17:35,219
A campfire scene.
213
00:17:35,244 --> 00:17:37,822
We need a nice campfire
scene with Gaby...
214
00:17:37,986 --> 00:17:40,845
like the one from series 2, episode 11,
just before the 2nd act break.
215
00:17:42,281 --> 00:17:44,381
The campfire scene in that
episode was in the teaser!
216
00:17:44,406 --> 00:17:46,470
- It was not!
- Come on, guys...
217
00:17:46,471 --> 00:17:48,268
Could we give it a break?
218
00:17:50,753 --> 00:17:53,066
Besides, the classic was
series 4, episode 7
219
00:17:53,091 --> 00:17:55,670
when she does that poignant
little insight into her character
220
00:17:55,695 --> 00:17:58,771
as she's taking her boots off,
as she sits by the campfire...
221
00:17:58,796 --> 00:18:00,819
She kept her boots on!
222
00:18:20,278 --> 00:18:22,721
I've just shut off the flow
of blood to your brain.
223
00:18:22,870 --> 00:18:26,276
You'll be dead in 30 seconds unless
you tell me what's going on.
224
00:18:35,886 --> 00:18:38,659
All right, everybody, stay calm.
225
00:18:39,049 --> 00:18:41,103
I-I gotta be honest with you.
226
00:18:41,322 --> 00:18:42,744
I'm not calm.
227
00:18:43,160 --> 00:18:44,089
Xena?
228
00:18:45,513 --> 00:18:46,654
Gabrielle...
229
00:18:52,618 --> 00:18:54,585
All right,
you'd better start talking.
230
00:18:54,610 --> 00:18:58,149
We... We've reproduced you,
exactly as you existed 2000 years ago.
231
00:18:58,174 --> 00:18:59,877
It's a process called cloning.
232
00:19:00,394 --> 00:19:01,763
Welcome to the future.
233
00:19:04,022 --> 00:19:05,003
Come on...
234
00:19:05,028 --> 00:19:06,958
Xena, shouldn't you
take the pinch off him?
235
00:19:11,630 --> 00:19:13,250
How much do you remember?
236
00:19:13,370 --> 00:19:15,442
She remembers the pinch pretty good.
237
00:19:16,477 --> 00:19:17,187
Hey...
238
00:19:17,492 --> 00:19:19,226
I just got pinched by Xena!
239
00:19:19,975 --> 00:19:21,187
Did Ares do this?
240
00:19:21,212 --> 00:19:23,222
No, a higher power called Science.
241
00:19:23,247 --> 00:19:24,669
Why have you brought us here?
242
00:19:25,227 --> 00:19:26,772
Because we need heroes.
243
00:19:26,797 --> 00:19:28,527
Now more than ever. Look.
244
00:19:36,256 --> 00:19:39,084
These are the kind of things
that happen in our world every day.
245
00:19:39,349 --> 00:19:40,544
Violence...
246
00:19:40,963 --> 00:19:42,206
Civil unrest...
247
00:19:43,049 --> 00:19:44,002
Crime...
248
00:19:44,377 --> 00:19:45,604
It's everywhere.
249
00:19:48,930 --> 00:19:50,927
And it's getting worse all the time.
250
00:19:51,391 --> 00:19:54,191
We need someone to go
out there and kick butt!
251
00:19:54,422 --> 00:19:56,352
You got the right girl for that.
252
00:19:56,742 --> 00:19:58,805
She can kick my butt any day.
253
00:20:00,326 --> 00:20:02,654
We're hopin' you would
kick butt for good.
254
00:20:03,052 --> 00:20:04,521
Oh, it'd be good.
255
00:20:06,067 --> 00:20:07,246
He's gross.
256
00:20:08,666 --> 00:20:09,675
We're hungry.
257
00:20:10,278 --> 00:20:11,232
Got any food?
258
00:20:12,255 --> 00:20:13,747
Yes.
259
00:20:14,586 --> 00:20:17,180
Yes, we do.
Here.
260
00:20:18,406 --> 00:20:21,984
They're... sort of like chakram,
but you can eat 'em.
261
00:20:25,439 --> 00:20:26,829
Sugar and fat.
262
00:20:27,492 --> 00:20:28,585
They're delicious.
263
00:20:45,889 --> 00:20:48,608
The loving friends
we meet on our journey...
264
00:20:49,132 --> 00:20:52,647
return to us, time after time.
265
00:20:55,789 --> 00:20:57,172
We never die...
266
00:20:57,758 --> 00:21:00,297
because we were never really born.
267
00:21:06,236 --> 00:21:08,728
Xena could kick Jackie Chan's ass.
268
00:21:08,978 --> 00:21:11,356
Jet Lee?
No contest.
269
00:21:11,462 --> 00:21:15,571
If Bruce Lee were to come back from
his grave, Xena'd kick his ass too.
270
00:21:17,069 --> 00:21:19,022
Oh, man, they're hot!
271
00:21:19,334 --> 00:21:22,154
And you know, after 2000 years,
they've gotta be horny.
272
00:21:22,451 --> 00:21:25,337
I see 'em lookin' at me,
and there's no competition.
273
00:21:25,362 --> 00:21:28,648
I'm gonna be their
1st 21st-century man.
274
00:21:36,229 --> 00:21:39,831
The others almost ruined everything
with their macho discs.
275
00:21:40,640 --> 00:21:41,601
I know.
276
00:21:41,714 --> 00:21:46,381
After lights out, I'll play 'em a full
season of old "Ellen" episodes.
277
00:21:46,778 --> 00:21:47,848
Yeah...
278
00:21:54,689 --> 00:21:55,666
All right...
279
00:22:10,602 --> 00:22:12,265
That's not how it happened.
280
00:22:12,859 --> 00:22:15,062
I woke you up before
I went to Valhalla, right?
281
00:22:15,601 --> 00:22:17,570
That's how I remember it.
You're right.
282
00:22:17,585 --> 00:22:18,601
Wow.
283
00:22:19,249 --> 00:22:21,394
Your memories are
of the real Xena and Gabrielle,
284
00:22:21,419 --> 00:22:23,427
not just the ones
we programmed you with.
285
00:22:23,452 --> 00:22:24,796
Yeah, that was the plan...
286
00:22:25,025 --> 00:22:27,879
To stimulate their...
latent memories.
287
00:22:29,134 --> 00:22:30,980
So, what do you guys
think of the show?
288
00:22:31,005 --> 00:22:32,583
Oh, I like the one who plays me.
289
00:22:33,139 --> 00:22:34,491
She's kinda sexy.
290
00:22:35,756 --> 00:22:39,076
What about this writing, Xena?
I mean, it's not exactly Euripides.
291
00:22:39,381 --> 00:22:42,006
They have taken liberties
with my scrolls.
292
00:22:42,263 --> 00:22:45,036
Yeah, and what are they tryin' to say
about our relationship, anyway?
293
00:22:45,297 --> 00:22:46,188
Who knows...
294
00:22:48,629 --> 00:22:49,727
Xena, umm...
295
00:22:50,745 --> 00:22:51,854
You know...
296
00:22:52,443 --> 00:22:53,647
You and Ares...
297
00:22:54,146 --> 00:22:55,560
Did you ever...
298
00:22:55,585 --> 00:22:56,866
You know...
Well...
299
00:22:57,063 --> 00:22:58,337
Did you...
300
00:22:59,188 --> 00:23:00,876
Get a life, pervert.
301
00:23:01,319 --> 00:23:02,663
Now, now, Xena.
302
00:23:07,887 --> 00:23:09,403
All right, Gabrielle, what's next?
303
00:23:09,428 --> 00:23:11,240
Well, look...
They want heroes, right?
304
00:23:11,381 --> 00:23:13,256
We find a mission, we do some good.
305
00:23:13,395 --> 00:23:14,910
That old greater-good thing?
306
00:23:15,300 --> 00:23:16,378
I don't know.
307
00:23:16,745 --> 00:23:18,542
It kinda doesn't appeal
this time around.
308
00:23:18,939 --> 00:23:20,454
Oh, you got some sugar and fat.
309
00:23:21,790 --> 00:23:23,064
I always wanted to do that.
310
00:23:25,056 --> 00:23:26,151
Oh, and...
311
00:23:26,519 --> 00:23:28,830
Gabrielle, if that pork
starts talkin' back to ya...
312
00:23:28,855 --> 00:23:32,088
they got a whole room back here designed
for the whole purplse of relievin' yourself.
313
00:23:32,112 --> 00:23:33,018
Wahey.
314
00:23:33,262 --> 00:23:34,379
A whole room?
315
00:23:37,355 --> 00:23:38,323
Gabrielle...
316
00:23:38,769 --> 00:23:40,480
Can I speak frankly with you?
317
00:23:40,786 --> 00:23:41,608
Yeah.
318
00:23:42,091 --> 00:23:45,372
I'm a little concerned that we may
have woken up the evil Xena.
319
00:23:46,333 --> 00:23:47,880
Is that what's wrong with her?
320
00:23:49,239 --> 00:23:51,762
Why don't you guys
take care of Xena...
321
00:23:51,910 --> 00:23:54,043
and I'm gonna get
Gabrielle up to speed?
322
00:23:55,276 --> 00:23:56,315
Grinhilda...
323
00:23:57,268 --> 00:23:58,372
Listen to me.
324
00:23:59,707 --> 00:24:01,442
You weren't always this way.
325
00:24:01,645 --> 00:24:04,114
It was my actions
that turned you into this beast.
326
00:24:05,412 --> 00:24:06,107
Wow.
327
00:24:07,007 --> 00:24:08,083
It's so big!
328
00:24:08,108 --> 00:24:09,766
Yeah, it sure has changed, huh?
329
00:24:11,048 --> 00:24:12,236
This is her.
330
00:24:14,259 --> 00:24:16,860
She broke into the lab
dressed as some kind of...
331
00:24:17,001 --> 00:24:19,603
television character.
I think she's a bit of a loony.
332
00:24:20,257 --> 00:24:21,804
- What is going on?
- Miss...
333
00:24:21,999 --> 00:24:23,124
Some identification?
334
00:24:23,421 --> 00:24:23,973
What?
335
00:24:23,998 --> 00:24:25,490
Look, if you're not
gonna cooperate, lady,
336
00:24:25,515 --> 00:24:26,711
I'm afraid we're just
gonna have to take you in.
337
00:24:26,735 --> 00:24:27,820
No, wait a minute.
338
00:24:28,563 --> 00:24:30,628
Look, I don't know what
ridiculous story she told you
339
00:24:30,652 --> 00:24:32,035
but for your information
340
00:24:32,059 --> 00:24:35,465
she cloned me from a strand
of hair she found 2000 years ago.
341
00:24:36,869 --> 00:24:38,971
All right, she's a loon.
Let's take her.
342
00:24:41,166 --> 00:24:42,353
Hold it!
343
00:24:43,053 --> 00:24:44,857
Drop your weapons!
344
00:24:45,709 --> 00:24:47,139
I'd do what they say, sweetie.
345
00:24:47,606 --> 00:24:51,137
You saw what those weapons can do
in the videos we showed you?
346
00:25:04,218 --> 00:25:05,898
You wanna fight, huh?
347
00:25:08,001 --> 00:25:09,188
Fine with me.
348
00:25:19,506 --> 00:25:20,881
Ooh, got'cha now!
349
00:25:21,717 --> 00:25:22,436
Hopeless.
350
00:25:23,601 --> 00:25:24,820
It's funny...
351
00:25:28,608 --> 00:25:31,968
That does it! I'm gonna rip
you apart with my bare hands.
352
00:25:35,718 --> 00:25:38,273
Do you think that's an accurate
characterization of Joxer?
353
00:25:38,880 --> 00:25:40,013
Yeah, pretty much.
354
00:25:40,395 --> 00:25:41,824
Don't remember him being
that smart, though.
355
00:25:41,849 --> 00:25:44,638
Xena, I am so sorry,
but Gabrielle has been arrested!
356
00:25:44,663 --> 00:25:46,223
How can that happen?
357
00:25:46,248 --> 00:25:48,186
There was nothing that I could do.
The police...
358
00:25:48,211 --> 00:25:49,398
What's "police"?
359
00:25:49,835 --> 00:25:51,140
The local warlords.
360
00:25:51,164 --> 00:25:53,600
They confiscated her sais
and then they took her.
361
00:25:53,726 --> 00:25:54,874
Took her where?
362
00:25:55,009 --> 00:25:58,423
To the city jail. Out the front door,
to the left, 2 miles down the road.
363
00:25:58,728 --> 00:25:59,768
Right.
364
00:26:00,306 --> 00:26:02,040
Are you insane?
You're encouraging her!
365
00:26:02,065 --> 00:26:02,900
Xena, wait!
366
00:26:06,443 --> 00:26:07,716
You might need this.
367
00:26:09,862 --> 00:26:10,981
My chakram...
368
00:26:11,332 --> 00:26:13,473
- The real thing...
- Yes, it is.
369
00:26:14,173 --> 00:26:15,025
Got it.
370
00:26:16,244 --> 00:26:17,923
Have you lost your mind?
371
00:26:17,948 --> 00:26:19,503
You've just set her on
a course that'll bring her
372
00:26:19,528 --> 00:26:21,674
into direct conflict
with the authorities!
373
00:26:21,699 --> 00:26:24,073
And where did you get that chakram?
374
00:26:24,098 --> 00:26:27,036
You know, I'm beginning to think there
are a few things you haven't told us.
375
00:26:29,084 --> 00:26:31,123
Yes... A few.
376
00:26:33,700 --> 00:26:34,958
Alti?
377
00:26:42,663 --> 00:26:43,905
Alti.
378
00:26:49,715 --> 00:26:51,335
- But why?
- Well...
379
00:26:51,357 --> 00:26:54,091
I'd spent countless incarnations
enjoying the fact
380
00:26:54,116 --> 00:26:57,937
that Xena's reputation as
a do-gooder was lost for eternity.
381
00:26:58,146 --> 00:27:00,936
After she died, I hid the scrolls.
382
00:27:01,117 --> 00:27:03,312
And I thought I could just
sit back and enjoy
383
00:27:03,337 --> 00:27:06,017
the unchecked evolution
of evil on Earth.
384
00:27:06,433 --> 00:27:09,238
It's really hit a few high points
in the last century.
385
00:27:09,991 --> 00:27:11,030
But then...
386
00:27:11,430 --> 00:27:14,374
this hideous TV show
starts celebrating her
387
00:27:14,399 --> 00:27:16,938
as a defender of righteousness.
388
00:27:18,411 --> 00:27:21,629
Well, we'll see how long
that reputation lasts.
389
00:27:23,178 --> 00:27:25,258
Reports are flooding
in of a reign of terror
390
00:27:25,283 --> 00:27:27,345
sweeping through the downtown area.
391
00:27:27,470 --> 00:27:29,477
A woman dressed like
the television character
392
00:27:29,502 --> 00:27:32,200
Xena, Warrior Princess,
has broken into the city jail
393
00:27:32,225 --> 00:27:34,614
and freed another woman
dressed as Gabrielle,
394
00:27:34,639 --> 00:27:36,365
the Warrior Princess' sidekick.
395
00:27:36,618 --> 00:27:38,539
She's plenty more
than just a sidekick.
396
00:27:38,564 --> 00:27:39,848
Would you give that stuff a rest?
397
00:27:39,873 --> 00:27:42,042
...abductee, but witness are shaken.
398
00:27:42,067 --> 00:27:46,144
We got concussions. We got broken bones.
We got blood on the floor. Crazy chick...
399
00:27:46,169 --> 00:27:48,785
She's got the strangest damn
round weapon, kind of like a frisbee.
400
00:27:49,050 --> 00:27:51,956
The public is warned that this woman
is armed and highly dangerous,
401
00:27:51,981 --> 00:27:54,739
and should not be approached
under any circumstances.
402
00:27:55,091 --> 00:27:57,543
I couldn't have
written it better myself.
403
00:27:57,568 --> 00:28:00,131
You cloned an evil Xena
to discredit her...
404
00:28:00,156 --> 00:28:02,304
Ah, you catch on fast.
405
00:28:02,952 --> 00:28:05,321
Eyewitnesses describe her
leaping from car to car...
406
00:28:05,346 --> 00:28:07,746
leading to high-speed collisions
and multiple pile-ups.
407
00:28:07,771 --> 00:28:10,513
Xena wasn't always an angel
in the early days...
408
00:28:10,752 --> 00:28:15,549
but she gets 22 episodes of a TV show
and everyone thinks she's a great hero.
409
00:28:15,804 --> 00:28:18,547
Well, they'll soon
know the real truth.
410
00:28:18,959 --> 00:28:20,412
SWAT teams have been mobilized.
411
00:28:20,437 --> 00:28:23,265
And once she's alienated herself
from everything good,
412
00:28:23,569 --> 00:28:24,616
decent,
413
00:28:25,048 --> 00:28:26,556
she'll follow me.
414
00:28:27,001 --> 00:28:30,415
And together...
we'll rule the world.
415
00:28:31,519 --> 00:28:32,472
Let's go.
416
00:28:35,785 --> 00:28:38,449
- Why didn't you try to stop her?
- You stop her!
417
00:28:39,364 --> 00:28:40,604
...lawlessness.
418
00:28:40,731 --> 00:28:43,583
Ok, well, I was just like,
watchin' my giraffes...
419
00:28:43,878 --> 00:28:46,768
and then Xena turns up,
and it's like, it's her, man!
420
00:28:46,793 --> 00:28:49,153
It's ******* her!
And it's like, there's cops...
421
00:28:49,178 --> 00:28:51,942
all over the place, you know?
And, but Xena's just like...
422
00:28:51,967 --> 00:28:53,436
Huyah! And then she's like...
423
00:28:53,686 --> 00:28:54,752
Huyah! You know?
424
00:28:54,777 --> 00:28:56,866
She totally ******* deals
with the heat, man!
425
00:28:56,891 --> 00:28:59,004
But then she just...
jumps the fence,
426
00:28:59,029 --> 00:29:01,607
lands on the back of this
crazy-ass like, horse...
427
00:29:01,632 --> 00:29:03,085
She's ******* gone.
428
00:29:03,603 --> 00:29:04,658
It was awesome, man!
429
00:29:05,275 --> 00:29:07,682
You know...
Xena's hot too, you know?
430
00:29:15,391 --> 00:29:16,656
What is that?
431
00:29:17,238 --> 00:29:18,129
What?
432
00:29:18,697 --> 00:29:20,244
What are you doing?
433
00:29:22,275 --> 00:29:24,369
I'm making me some new weapons.
434
00:29:26,425 --> 00:29:28,855
These things are hopeless
in hand-to-hand com...
435
00:29:29,638 --> 00:29:30,725
See what I mean?
436
00:29:31,100 --> 00:29:32,118
And these?
437
00:29:32,651 --> 00:29:33,924
Merely toys.
438
00:29:34,413 --> 00:29:35,336
Xena...
439
00:29:35,739 --> 00:29:38,153
You could have killed someone
at the city dungeon.
440
00:29:38,488 --> 00:29:40,090
They had you locked up!
What did you want to do?
441
00:29:40,114 --> 00:29:41,270
Rot there the rest of your life?
442
00:29:41,295 --> 00:29:43,334
- You know, we can't just w...
- If they want trouble...
443
00:29:43,542 --> 00:29:44,941
they're gonna get it.
444
00:29:56,891 --> 00:29:58,931
I hear you've been busy, Xena.
445
00:29:59,158 --> 00:29:59,949
Alti...
446
00:29:59,974 --> 00:30:02,379
Missed your fire...
Your fury.
447
00:30:02,404 --> 00:30:03,865
Don't listen to her.
448
00:30:05,053 --> 00:30:07,609
Remember what we used to have, Xena?
449
00:30:10,021 --> 00:30:11,013
Help me...
450
00:30:12,669 --> 00:30:14,060
and I'll make you...
451
00:30:14,215 --> 00:30:16,121
"Destroyer of Nations".
452
00:30:23,892 --> 00:30:25,486
All right, I delivered.
453
00:30:25,693 --> 00:30:27,193
You did indeed.
454
00:30:27,906 --> 00:30:30,429
I am the Destroyer of Nations.
455
00:30:46,777 --> 00:30:50,722
Remember the thrill of
conquest you had, huh?
456
00:30:50,747 --> 00:30:53,137
Before she came into your life?
457
00:31:05,299 --> 00:31:06,534
Don't listen to her.
458
00:31:07,729 --> 00:31:11,224
Doesn't her little voice
remind you of her betrayal?
459
00:31:48,490 --> 00:31:50,879
I'm sorry, Xena,
I couldn't let you do this.
460
00:31:54,083 --> 00:31:54,894
You...
461
00:31:54,919 --> 00:31:57,880
What her lies did to your son?
462
00:31:58,861 --> 00:32:00,041
My son...
463
00:32:01,994 --> 00:32:03,080
Solan?
464
00:32:06,185 --> 00:32:07,096
Solan...
465
00:32:08,503 --> 00:32:09,253
Hey...
466
00:32:09,749 --> 00:32:11,046
Hey, Solan...
467
00:32:14,979 --> 00:32:15,799
Solan...
468
00:32:25,504 --> 00:32:26,153
Xena?
469
00:32:27,383 --> 00:32:28,164
No.
470
00:32:30,947 --> 00:32:31,689
No.
471
00:32:33,858 --> 00:32:34,682
No.
472
00:32:36,487 --> 00:32:37,307
Get out.
473
00:32:39,752 --> 00:32:40,439
Xena...
474
00:32:40,748 --> 00:32:41,701
Go!
475
00:32:46,265 --> 00:32:47,039
Solan...
476
00:32:50,474 --> 00:32:51,084
Solan...
477
00:32:51,399 --> 00:32:52,251
Please.
478
00:32:53,194 --> 00:32:54,421
I'm here now.
479
00:32:56,398 --> 00:32:57,890
Your mom is here now...
480
00:32:58,582 --> 00:33:00,122
just like you always wanted.
481
00:33:07,589 --> 00:33:11,418
And how much you enjoyed
avenging that deed, huh?
482
00:34:05,105 --> 00:34:07,253
Vengeance!
483
00:34:08,709 --> 00:34:10,337
Why did you bring her back?
484
00:34:10,470 --> 00:34:11,501
Well...
485
00:34:13,673 --> 00:34:15,767
Consider her my gift to you, Xena.
486
00:34:16,886 --> 00:34:17,815
Xena...
487
00:34:18,273 --> 00:34:20,164
Xena, you weren't
like this in the end.
488
00:34:20,991 --> 00:34:22,725
Think of what we accomplished.
489
00:34:23,147 --> 00:34:25,264
Think of the good
that we did for the world.
490
00:34:26,847 --> 00:34:27,856
Come on!
Move!
491
00:34:27,881 --> 00:34:29,787
- Get down!
- Where's my little girl?
492
00:34:30,450 --> 00:34:31,965
Where's my little girl?
493
00:34:36,023 --> 00:34:36,890
Xena!
494
00:34:41,858 --> 00:34:43,623
Come here. Come on.
495
00:35:05,038 --> 00:35:07,351
Xena, the good that
we did for each other!
496
00:35:08,647 --> 00:35:11,072
After all we've been through,
I am with you till the end.
497
00:35:11,327 --> 00:35:13,089
When I reach down inside myself
498
00:35:13,114 --> 00:35:15,956
and do things that I'm not
capable of, it's because of you.
499
00:35:15,981 --> 00:35:17,746
You talk about trying
to find your way,
500
00:35:17,771 --> 00:35:19,466
but to me, you are my way.
501
00:35:20,965 --> 00:35:23,708
I'm sorry for all the times
I didn't treat you right.
502
00:35:23,977 --> 00:35:24,957
Xena...
503
00:35:25,596 --> 00:35:27,409
You've brought out the best in me.
504
00:35:28,368 --> 00:35:30,001
You saved me, Xena.
505
00:35:30,227 --> 00:35:31,836
But I'm a part of you.
506
00:35:32,368 --> 00:35:34,438
I want it to be like that forever.
507
00:35:35,609 --> 00:35:36,649
I love you.
508
00:35:36,885 --> 00:35:38,976
You are the best thing
that ever happened to me.
509
00:35:39,249 --> 00:35:41,569
You gave my life meaning and joy...
510
00:35:41,857 --> 00:35:43,670
and you will be a part of me forever.
511
00:35:54,254 --> 00:35:55,192
Let's go!
512
00:36:16,338 --> 00:36:18,697
For an old bird,
you sure move fast!
513
00:37:11,726 --> 00:37:13,200
Nice move, Xena.
514
00:37:13,225 --> 00:37:15,218
You'll make a great sidekick.
515
00:37:17,735 --> 00:37:19,829
I'll give you sidekick.
516
00:37:38,437 --> 00:37:39,548
Alti?
517
00:37:42,336 --> 00:37:43,419
Alti...
518
00:37:44,029 --> 00:37:46,716
Nice work, Xena.
Haven't lost your touch.
519
00:37:55,612 --> 00:37:56,494
Runt!
520
00:37:58,288 --> 00:37:59,280
Wait! No!
521
00:38:01,981 --> 00:38:03,785
Now you'll have to deal with me.
522
00:39:26,962 --> 00:39:28,360
Run!
523
00:39:31,486 --> 00:39:32,807
Come on!
Let's go!
524
00:39:34,829 --> 00:39:35,798
Now!
525
00:40:34,134 --> 00:40:36,126
There was nothing left of them!
526
00:40:36,868 --> 00:40:38,399
I guess clones just...
527
00:40:38,973 --> 00:40:40,270
break up easy!
528
00:40:41,086 --> 00:40:43,000
Well, maybe it was for the best.
I mean...
529
00:40:43,786 --> 00:40:45,219
We were messing with nature.
530
00:40:45,385 --> 00:40:46,596
Are you kidding?
531
00:40:46,817 --> 00:40:50,176
We had... the greatest
heroes in history here...
532
00:40:50,956 --> 00:40:52,354
and now they're gone.
533
00:40:53,026 --> 00:40:55,252
You know...
To be honest... I...
534
00:40:55,440 --> 00:40:57,253
I was a bit disappointed anyway.
535
00:40:57,278 --> 00:40:59,957
I mean, they just seemed to be
so much more dynamic on TV.
536
00:40:59,982 --> 00:41:01,912
- On TV, yeah...
- Yeah...
537
00:41:09,400 --> 00:41:11,868
Hey, do you guys think they're gonna
believe us at the conventions?
538
00:41:12,347 --> 00:41:14,643
- You kidding?
- Not a chance.
539
00:41:15,830 --> 00:41:17,447
Hey, we could do
someone else, you know?
540
00:41:17,472 --> 00:41:20,964
I've got some of Dr. Spock's toenails
at home, from when I was a trekkie.
541
00:41:20,989 --> 00:41:22,192
You were a trekkie?
542
00:41:22,786 --> 00:41:23,504
Yeah.
543
00:41:23,653 --> 00:41:25,114
You really are a nerd.
544
00:41:25,139 --> 00:41:27,263
Hey, I'm not proud of it, ok?
39094
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