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1
00:00:00,800 --> 00:00:02,168
All right,
here's a list
2
00:00:02,201 --> 00:00:03,435
of the Halloween candy
we need.
3
00:00:03,468 --> 00:00:05,437
Right.
4
00:00:03,468 --> 00:00:05,437
Get the fun size,
not the bite size.
5
00:00:05,471 --> 00:00:07,306
Oh, and no peanuts
'cause of the Perkins kid.
6
00:00:07,339 --> 00:00:08,641
Okay.
7
00:00:07,339 --> 00:00:08,641
And, honey,
don't scratch there.
8
00:00:08,673 --> 00:00:09,541
This is where we shop.
9
00:00:11,444 --> 00:00:13,312
Okay, I am going to go
get eggs, okay, honey?
10
00:00:13,345 --> 00:00:15,281
Okay.
11
00:00:13,345 --> 00:00:15,281
Oh, and, honey,
thank you for helping.
12
00:00:16,282 --> 00:00:17,649
I'm a helper.
13
00:00:21,719 --> 00:00:23,288
(SIGHS)
14
00:00:42,475 --> 00:00:44,176
JIM: Oh, baby!
15
00:00:52,518 --> 00:00:54,387
Apparently you have
no idea how important
16
00:00:54,420 --> 00:00:55,554
this Halloween
party is to me.
17
00:00:55,588 --> 00:00:58,390
I need dry ice.
I've made promises!
18
00:00:58,423 --> 00:01:00,560
Aunt Dana, look at
my witch cookie.
19
00:01:00,593 --> 00:01:02,161
Ooh, scary.
20
00:01:02,194 --> 00:01:04,263
Really good
for a three-year-old.
21
00:01:04,296 --> 00:01:05,432
I'm seven.
22
00:01:06,397 --> 00:01:08,734
Yeah.
Then not so impressive.
23
00:01:10,135 --> 00:01:11,771
All right,
listen, bucko,
24
00:01:11,804 --> 00:01:13,371
without dry ice,
my bubbling cauldron
25
00:01:13,405 --> 00:01:14,774
is just
my old spaghetti pot!
26
00:01:14,807 --> 00:01:17,409
No, no,
don't hang up on me!
Don't, don't! Ah!
27
00:01:20,245 --> 00:01:21,680
It's fine.
28
00:01:21,713 --> 00:01:23,548
Who cares? I mean,
I don't need dry ice.
29
00:01:23,581 --> 00:01:25,650
It's not like
my Halloween party
has to be perfect.
30
00:01:25,683 --> 00:01:28,387
Oh, yes, it does!
It does! It does!
31
00:01:28,420 --> 00:01:31,189
All right,
all right, all right,
make way here.
32
00:01:31,222 --> 00:01:33,792
A pumpkin full of paint's
coming through.
33
00:01:33,825 --> 00:01:36,128
What?
34
00:01:33,825 --> 00:01:36,128
Okay, why?
35
00:01:36,162 --> 00:01:37,362
Well, you know
how the Flynn kids
36
00:01:37,396 --> 00:01:38,531
drive over our pumpkin
every year?
37
00:01:37,396 --> 00:01:38,531
Yeah.
38
00:01:38,563 --> 00:01:40,132
Well, this year
their treat is...
39
00:01:40,165 --> 00:01:41,266
A new paint job.
40
00:01:41,299 --> 00:01:42,534
Oh.
41
00:01:42,567 --> 00:01:44,337
Compliments of the
neighborhood crackpot.
42
00:01:44,370 --> 00:01:45,471
Mmm-hmm.
43
00:01:45,504 --> 00:01:46,873
Hey, I thought you were
raking the leaves.
44
00:01:46,906 --> 00:01:47,907
Ah, I'll get to it,
I'll get to it.
45
00:01:47,941 --> 00:01:50,810
Hey, girls, you want to
rake the leaves for Daddy?
46
00:01:50,843 --> 00:01:52,745
No, Daddy!
47
00:01:50,843 --> 00:01:52,745
Oh, no!
48
00:01:52,778 --> 00:01:55,748
All right,
but I thought I heard
a puppy under there.
49
00:01:55,781 --> 00:01:57,584
A what?
50
00:01:55,781 --> 00:01:57,584
BOTH: Yay!
51
00:01:58,417 --> 00:02:00,219
(CELL PHONE RINGING)
52
00:02:01,554 --> 00:02:02,588
Hello?
53
00:02:02,620 --> 00:02:04,289
Hi! (GIGGLES)
54
00:02:04,322 --> 00:02:06,859
I know. I miss you, too.
It's been three whole hours.
55
00:02:09,495 --> 00:02:10,896
Okay, everybody's
staring at me.
56
00:02:10,930 --> 00:02:12,831
I can't talk.
I'll see you in a minute.
57
00:02:12,865 --> 00:02:14,766
Bye.
58
00:02:14,800 --> 00:02:17,703
So, your cat learned
to dial a phone?
59
00:02:17,735 --> 00:02:19,738
Oh!
60
00:02:19,771 --> 00:02:22,674
No, that was Hank,
the guy I'm seeing.
61
00:02:22,707 --> 00:02:24,310
You're dating somebody?
62
00:02:22,707 --> 00:02:24,310
Mmm-hmm.
63
00:02:24,342 --> 00:02:25,777
Tell. Now.
64
00:02:25,811 --> 00:02:27,413
Well, we've been
seeing each other
65
00:02:27,445 --> 00:02:29,581
for about two weeks,
and I really like him,
66
00:02:29,615 --> 00:02:31,918
and he's coming over,
so please don't let Jim
talk or be seen.
67
00:02:33,686 --> 00:02:34,819
Me?
68
00:02:34,853 --> 00:02:37,189
Dana, I don't chase
your guys away.
69
00:02:37,223 --> 00:02:40,193
When you're dating a guy,
you hunt for his one flaw
70
00:02:40,225 --> 00:02:41,794
and then we never
see him again.
71
00:02:41,826 --> 00:02:43,763
I mean, really,
it's kind of pathetic.
72
00:02:45,264 --> 00:02:46,899
I mean, no offense.
73
00:02:46,931 --> 00:02:48,600
(DOORBELL RINGS)
74
00:02:48,633 --> 00:02:51,303
Why do you even bother
saying "no offense"?
75
00:02:51,336 --> 00:02:53,705
Allow me.
Because he's a jerk.
76
00:02:53,739 --> 00:02:55,307
No offense.
77
00:02:56,307 --> 00:02:57,776
None taken.
78
00:02:57,810 --> 00:02:59,679
You see? He hurt my feelings,
then he said "no offense"
79
00:02:59,711 --> 00:03:01,813
and it took
the sting away.
80
00:03:01,847 --> 00:03:04,483
Hey, everybody,
this is Hank.
81
00:03:01,847 --> 00:03:04,483
Hey!
82
00:03:04,515 --> 00:03:06,685
This is my brother Andy,
my sister Cheryl,
83
00:03:06,718 --> 00:03:08,753
and the guy
she married.
84
00:03:08,787 --> 00:03:10,890
(LAUGHS)
85
00:03:08,787 --> 00:03:10,890
Hi, Hank. Jim.
86
00:03:10,923 --> 00:03:13,391
Oh, the paint in
the pumpkin trick, huh?
87
00:03:13,425 --> 00:03:15,493
Oh, yeah.
I'll tell you,
those punk kids
88
00:03:15,526 --> 00:03:16,962
are not going to
even see that coming
89
00:03:16,996 --> 00:03:18,764
when they're driving
down the road.
90
00:03:18,796 --> 00:03:20,365
Yeah, I call it
the classic...
91
00:03:20,399 --> 00:03:22,235
Earl Scheib.
92
00:03:22,268 --> 00:03:23,635
Earl Scheib!
You know that?
93
00:03:22,268 --> 00:03:23,635
Earl Scheib!
94
00:03:23,669 --> 00:03:24,770
Yeah!
95
00:03:24,802 --> 00:03:26,871
Come on, Cheryl,
who's the crackpot now?
96
00:03:26,905 --> 00:03:28,241
(CHUCKLES)
Still you, Jim.
97
00:03:28,274 --> 00:03:29,808
Oh!
98
00:03:29,842 --> 00:03:31,510
So, um, Hank's going
to come with me
99
00:03:31,543 --> 00:03:33,445
to your Halloween party
as my date.
100
00:03:33,479 --> 00:03:36,649
Oh, wow! You didn't
RSVP "plus one,"
101
00:03:36,681 --> 00:03:38,917
but I guess
I can improvise.
102
00:03:38,950 --> 00:03:40,419
Andy,
no shrimp tonight.
103
00:03:41,787 --> 00:03:44,323
Um, okay, let's go
somewhere else.
104
00:03:44,355 --> 00:03:46,658
Yeah, that's...
Oh, can it be near a TV?
105
00:03:46,692 --> 00:03:49,795
Uh, the Blackhawks are on.
You guys have ESPN?
106
00:03:49,828 --> 00:03:51,330
You work
for the cable company?
107
00:03:51,362 --> 00:03:52,397
No.
108
00:03:52,431 --> 00:03:53,566
I got One, Two,
and Classic.
109
00:03:53,598 --> 00:03:55,400
Oh, sweet!
110
00:03:55,433 --> 00:03:57,302
Can we go...
All right.
111
00:03:57,336 --> 00:03:59,538
Ah, this Hank is not
like the other guys
112
00:03:59,570 --> 00:04:01,407
that Dana's dated.
113
00:03:59,570 --> 00:04:01,407
(CLICKS TONGUE)
114
00:04:01,439 --> 00:04:03,643
I mean, I feel like
I could actually hang out
with that guy.
115
00:04:03,675 --> 00:04:05,777
Yeah, yeah. You know,
he seems really familiar.
116
00:04:05,811 --> 00:04:07,879
Yeah?
117
00:04:05,811 --> 00:04:07,879
He's just like Jim!
118
00:04:08,546 --> 00:04:09,981
What?
119
00:04:10,014 --> 00:04:11,549
Are you kidding me?
120
00:04:11,582 --> 00:04:14,387
It's obvious. You guys
are two peas in a pod.
121
00:04:14,419 --> 00:04:16,656
Wow! She's right...
(GASPS)
122
00:04:17,423 --> 00:04:18,923
Dana's dating you!
123
00:04:18,956 --> 00:04:20,326
(EXCLAIMS)
124
00:04:21,994 --> 00:04:24,463
Well, well, well.
125
00:04:24,495 --> 00:04:26,966
All these years of her
putting me down, huh?
126
00:04:26,999 --> 00:04:30,002
And she's dating a guy
just like me.
127
00:04:30,035 --> 00:04:31,804
Jim, I'm sorry
to interrupt.
128
00:04:31,836 --> 00:04:33,438
Thought you'd like
to know, third period,
129
00:04:33,471 --> 00:04:35,473
blood on the ice,
gloves coming off.
130
00:04:35,507 --> 00:04:36,975
Oh!
131
00:04:37,009 --> 00:04:39,012
I can't get
too attached.
132
00:04:45,884 --> 00:04:47,052
There.
133
00:04:50,088 --> 00:04:51,757
Jim, why are you smiling
like that?
134
00:04:55,526 --> 00:04:57,663
No reason.
Just smiling.
135
00:04:57,696 --> 00:04:58,731
Can't I smile?
136
00:04:58,764 --> 00:04:59,999
Yeah. It's great.
137
00:05:00,031 --> 00:05:02,334
Hey, let me ask you
a question.
138
00:05:00,031 --> 00:05:02,334
Yeah?
139
00:05:02,367 --> 00:05:03,935
This Hank guy...
140
00:05:02,367 --> 00:05:03,935
Mmm-hmm.
141
00:05:03,968 --> 00:05:06,004
What's your favorite
thing about him?
142
00:05:07,572 --> 00:05:10,310
I don't know. Um...
Everything.
143
00:05:10,908 --> 00:05:13,745
Yeah, yeah.
144
00:05:13,778 --> 00:05:15,814
He's kind of perfect,
then, isn't he?
145
00:05:13,778 --> 00:05:15,814
Yeah.
146
00:05:15,848 --> 00:05:18,751
I mean, so anyone like him
would be perfect, too,
right?
147
00:05:18,783 --> 00:05:20,853
'Cause he's perfect, right?
Right? Is he perfect?
148
00:05:20,886 --> 00:05:22,355
I guess. Yeah.
He's perfect.
149
00:05:22,387 --> 00:05:23,288
He's great.
150
00:05:22,387 --> 00:05:23,288
Okay, okay.
151
00:05:23,322 --> 00:05:24,522
Okay, I just want to
take a picture of this.
152
00:05:24,555 --> 00:05:25,791
(IMITATES CAMERA CLICKING)
153
00:05:26,925 --> 00:05:27,725
Got it.
154
00:05:29,762 --> 00:05:31,697
Come on, you guys, come on!
Shake a leg.
155
00:05:31,730 --> 00:05:33,366
We got a thousand things
to do before the party.
156
00:05:33,399 --> 00:05:35,134
Ah, relax. Everything's
going to be fine.
157
00:05:35,166 --> 00:05:37,036
You just don't get it,
do you?
158
00:05:35,166 --> 00:05:37,036
What?
159
00:05:37,069 --> 00:05:38,838
The Crannises
have the neighborhood
Christmas party.
160
00:05:38,870 --> 00:05:40,138
The Meyers own
New Year's Eve.
161
00:05:40,172 --> 00:05:41,640
I want to own a holiday.
162
00:05:41,673 --> 00:05:43,375
Have you forgotten
that I lead
163
00:05:43,408 --> 00:05:45,444
the St. Patrick's Day
parade every year?
164
00:05:46,677 --> 00:05:47,913
You and Andy
running down the street
165
00:05:47,946 --> 00:05:49,916
in green underwear
is not a parade.
166
00:05:51,783 --> 00:05:54,387
Draws a big crowd
every year.
167
00:05:51,783 --> 00:05:54,387
(GROANS)
168
00:05:54,420 --> 00:05:55,420
All right,
come on, Dana.
169
00:05:55,454 --> 00:05:56,788
Six dozen
finger sandwiches
170
00:05:56,822 --> 00:05:57,956
are not going to
make themselves.
171
00:05:56,822 --> 00:05:57,956
Okay!
172
00:05:57,990 --> 00:06:00,393
Hey, are you going
to miss me?
173
00:06:00,425 --> 00:06:02,728
Oh, in that outfit,
you're damn right.
174
00:06:02,761 --> 00:06:04,664
Well, let me leave you
with this.
175
00:06:05,963 --> 00:06:07,065
Whee!
176
00:06:07,766 --> 00:06:09,135
Whee!
177
00:06:09,168 --> 00:06:10,235
Ooh!
178
00:06:14,105 --> 00:06:15,507
I'm okay!
179
00:06:20,579 --> 00:06:21,846
Oh!
180
00:06:21,879 --> 00:06:24,916
You guys
are adorable.
181
00:06:25,817 --> 00:06:27,019
Aw!
182
00:06:29,588 --> 00:06:30,656
Aw!
183
00:06:30,689 --> 00:06:31,757
Aren't they, though?
184
00:06:31,790 --> 00:06:32,825
They are.
185
00:06:32,858 --> 00:06:34,860
All right, my girls,
have fun.
186
00:06:34,892 --> 00:06:36,694
And be safe, okay?
187
00:06:36,728 --> 00:06:38,129
Oh, thank you
for doing this, Andy.
188
00:06:38,163 --> 00:06:39,831
No problem.
They're only
this age once.
189
00:06:39,865 --> 00:06:41,167
Yeah.
190
00:06:41,199 --> 00:06:43,101
All right, listen up.
191
00:06:43,134 --> 00:06:44,569
I want to get back
before that party starts,
192
00:06:44,603 --> 00:06:46,472
so the clock is ticking,
all right?
193
00:06:46,504 --> 00:06:47,973
Your belly
starts hurting,
your bag breaks,
194
00:06:48,005 --> 00:06:49,107
you fall down,
you're on your own.
195
00:06:49,141 --> 00:06:50,710
Let's roll!
196
00:06:52,177 --> 00:06:53,846
So don't you just
love Hank?
197
00:06:53,879 --> 00:06:57,016
Oh, I do. In fact,
he's the kind of guy
I might marry.
198
00:06:57,048 --> 00:06:58,550
Wink, wink.
199
00:06:59,617 --> 00:07:00,920
What does that mean?
200
00:07:00,952 --> 00:07:02,987
Well, don't you see
any similarities
201
00:07:03,021 --> 00:07:05,758
between him
and someone else?
202
00:07:05,790 --> 00:07:08,427
You see the Russell Crowe
thing, too?
203
00:07:09,894 --> 00:07:12,564
Dana,
Hank is just like Jim!
204
00:07:12,598 --> 00:07:13,766
Jim who?
205
00:07:14,632 --> 00:07:16,769
Jim, my husband Jim!
206
00:07:16,802 --> 00:07:18,171
What?
207
00:07:16,802 --> 00:07:18,171
Yes!
208
00:07:19,004 --> 00:07:20,573
No way!
209
00:07:20,605 --> 00:07:23,175
Hank and Jim
are nothing alike.
210
00:07:20,605 --> 00:07:23,175
Oh.
211
00:07:23,208 --> 00:07:27,146
Hank is thoughtful
and charming and romantic.
212
00:07:27,178 --> 00:07:28,646
Jim's all those things.
213
00:07:28,680 --> 00:07:31,651
Ah, crap on a cracker,
I got dip on my shirt!
214
00:07:34,052 --> 00:07:37,022
Yeah, they're
practically twins.
215
00:07:37,055 --> 00:07:39,557
Did you know Hank
took me to the opera?
216
00:07:39,591 --> 00:07:42,761
Really? Uh, Jim,
where did you take me
on our second date?
217
00:07:42,793 --> 00:07:44,896
Uh, the ballet.
218
00:07:44,930 --> 00:07:46,264
You took her
to the ballet?
219
00:07:46,298 --> 00:07:48,000
Yeah, I wanted her
to think I was cultured
220
00:07:48,033 --> 00:07:50,136
so I could tune in Tokyo,
you know?
221
00:07:53,004 --> 00:07:55,673
Okay. This is insane.
222
00:07:55,706 --> 00:07:57,209
It's killing you,
isn't it?
223
00:07:58,276 --> 00:07:59,844
The guy you're dating
is me!
224
00:07:59,877 --> 00:08:01,846
Ah!
225
00:08:01,879 --> 00:08:03,214
Oh, I hope it works out
for the two of you
226
00:08:03,247 --> 00:08:05,084
because
I'm already taken.
227
00:08:06,218 --> 00:08:07,552
(JIM LAUGHING)
228
00:08:07,586 --> 00:08:09,221
You guys are
so full of it!
229
00:08:09,254 --> 00:08:10,322
Oh, yeah?
230
00:08:09,254 --> 00:08:10,322
Yeah.
231
00:08:10,355 --> 00:08:12,191
Let me ask you something.
When you went to the opera,
232
00:08:12,223 --> 00:08:15,060
was Hank familiar
with any of the music?
233
00:08:15,093 --> 00:08:16,729
Yes,
as a matter of fact,
234
00:08:16,762 --> 00:08:18,564
he sang along
to a couple
of the pieces.
235
00:08:18,596 --> 00:08:21,065
Uh-huh. I see.
Were they the actual lyrics
236
00:08:21,098 --> 00:08:22,968
or dirty made-up
joke lyrics?
237
00:08:25,036 --> 00:08:26,238
Shut up.
238
00:08:33,144 --> 00:08:34,579
Uh-uh.
239
00:08:37,115 --> 00:08:39,585
You know, I may be
a powerful superhero,
240
00:08:39,618 --> 00:08:41,687
but, damn,
241
00:08:41,720 --> 00:08:43,990
I still like to play
with dolls.
242
00:08:45,856 --> 00:08:47,259
You know I'm a guy?
243
00:08:56,868 --> 00:08:59,705
Hi. My name's Jim.
This is my house.
244
00:09:01,606 --> 00:09:05,076
Guys, guys,
I got the camera.
245
00:09:05,110 --> 00:09:06,345
Okay, okay,
you guys, pose.
246
00:09:06,378 --> 00:09:07,747
Okay. (GROWLING)
247
00:09:08,846 --> 00:09:11,015
Aw, it's adorable.
248
00:09:11,048 --> 00:09:13,117
Cheryl, that is
a great flapper outfit.
249
00:09:13,150 --> 00:09:14,852
Well, thank you.
Jim thought
I was a dame
250
00:09:14,885 --> 00:09:16,889
from a Three Stooges
movie.
251
00:09:17,688 --> 00:09:19,625
Yeah, you totally are.
252
00:09:20,225 --> 00:09:21,659
(LAUGHING)
253
00:09:21,692 --> 00:09:22,860
Oh, God,
we're out of dip.
254
00:09:22,894 --> 00:09:23,995
Did anybody see?
Did anybody see?
255
00:09:24,028 --> 00:09:25,730
I don't think so.
256
00:09:24,028 --> 00:09:25,730
No.
257
00:09:25,764 --> 00:09:27,132
Okay, it's on the counter.
Get it and put it
on the snack table.
258
00:09:27,164 --> 00:09:28,933
Move! Move!
Move! Move!
259
00:09:28,966 --> 00:09:31,803
Cheryl, stop bossing
my boyfriend around.
260
00:09:31,836 --> 00:09:33,271
I haven't even
done that yet.
261
00:09:33,304 --> 00:09:36,341
(LAUGHING) Oh. I'm sorry.
He just reminds me
so much of Jim.
262
00:09:36,375 --> 00:09:38,076
Okay,
for the last time,
263
00:09:38,110 --> 00:09:40,745
Hank and Jim are
nothing alike, okay?
264
00:09:40,778 --> 00:09:42,213
They have
no similar qualities,
265
00:09:42,246 --> 00:09:43,281
they've got
nothing in common,
266
00:09:43,315 --> 00:09:45,151
so just drop it!
267
00:09:43,315 --> 00:09:45,151
Okay.
268
00:09:46,250 --> 00:09:48,053
(SIGHS)
269
00:09:49,053 --> 00:09:50,255
Oh, yeah.
270
00:09:50,889 --> 00:09:52,323
Personal foul.
271
00:09:52,356 --> 00:09:54,826
Fifteen-yard penalty
for turning me on.
272
00:10:06,104 --> 00:10:07,340
(SCREAMING)
273
00:10:17,916 --> 00:10:20,019
Well, thank you, Irene.
It was fun.
274
00:10:20,052 --> 00:10:21,653
But I don't think
it was as fun
275
00:10:21,687 --> 00:10:25,124
as the Johnsons'
Fourth of July party,
do you?
276
00:10:25,157 --> 00:10:27,393
Oh, well,
aren't you sweet!
277
00:10:27,426 --> 00:10:29,927
Yes, I will see you
next year, definitely.
278
00:10:29,961 --> 00:10:31,230
Okay. Bye-bye.
279
00:10:31,263 --> 00:10:33,365
(EXCLAIMING)
We own Halloween!
280
00:10:35,466 --> 00:10:37,802
By the way,
thank you for squeezing
Jim's butt last night.
281
00:10:37,836 --> 00:10:39,971
(GROANS)
282
00:10:37,836 --> 00:10:39,971
Now he's going
to want me to do it.
283
00:10:40,004 --> 00:10:41,840
Please just drop it.
284
00:10:41,873 --> 00:10:44,209
I went through
three bottles of
antibacterial soap.
285
00:10:44,241 --> 00:10:45,142
What did Hank say?
286
00:10:45,177 --> 00:10:47,680
Oh! He actually thought
it was pretty funny.
287
00:10:47,712 --> 00:10:49,947
You see?
He is like Jim.
288
00:10:49,980 --> 00:10:51,750
Yeah,
I see that now,
289
00:10:51,783 --> 00:10:53,152
so that's why
I dumped him.
290
00:10:54,351 --> 00:10:56,020
What?
291
00:10:56,053 --> 00:10:58,658
Well, I don't want
a future with...
292
00:10:59,256 --> 00:11:01,126
With what? Jim?
293
00:11:02,394 --> 00:11:04,096
Well, it's just that
I have this vision
294
00:11:04,129 --> 00:11:05,964
of what I want
my life to be,
295
00:11:05,996 --> 00:11:08,766
and it's not this,
you know.
296
00:11:08,799 --> 00:11:10,368
What's wrong with this?
297
00:11:10,402 --> 00:11:11,836
I mean, I got...
I got a husband
who loves me,
298
00:11:11,870 --> 00:11:14,105
I have three beautiful,
healthy kids.
299
00:11:14,139 --> 00:11:15,407
I don't need you
looking down
your nose at me
300
00:11:15,440 --> 00:11:17,276
just 'cause
you can't keep a man.
301
00:11:20,378 --> 00:11:22,347
Well, I can
keep a chimp, Cheryl.
302
00:11:22,379 --> 00:11:25,783
That doesn't mean
I want one in my house.
303
00:11:25,817 --> 00:11:27,885
Oh, I'm sorry.
Do you have a house?
304
00:11:27,918 --> 00:11:30,088
I didn't realize that
because you're always here.
305
00:11:30,121 --> 00:11:32,857
Oh, yeah.
Oh, I just love
hanging out here
306
00:11:32,890 --> 00:11:35,293
and baby-sitting your kids
when you and Jim
go off to the
307
00:11:35,326 --> 00:11:38,230
pickle convention
or wherever it is
he takes you.
308
00:11:39,297 --> 00:11:41,200
I got you a T-shirt.
309
00:11:43,802 --> 00:11:46,806
Yeah, I remember.
"Pickle people
do it with relish."
310
00:11:48,173 --> 00:11:49,341
Yeah, it was cute.
311
00:11:49,374 --> 00:11:51,810
It was stupid.
I would never wear that.
312
00:11:51,842 --> 00:11:53,010
Oh, I'm sorry,
I forgot.
313
00:11:53,043 --> 00:11:55,346
You have to look good
for no one.
314
00:11:56,782 --> 00:11:58,117
Fine.
315
00:11:58,149 --> 00:12:00,485
You and your
ratty sweatpants
316
00:12:00,519 --> 00:12:02,086
can have a nice life
without me.
317
00:12:02,120 --> 00:12:04,255
Hey, hey, hey,
hey, hey.
318
00:12:05,890 --> 00:12:08,461
You bought me
these sweatpants,
smartass!
319
00:12:13,798 --> 00:12:15,768
Andy, let me
ask you something.
320
00:12:15,801 --> 00:12:17,903
If you hit me
in the stomach
really hard,
321
00:12:17,936 --> 00:12:19,937
would it pop
my appendix?
322
00:12:19,971 --> 00:12:21,774
I'm willing
to risk it.
323
00:12:21,807 --> 00:12:23,307
What are you trying
to get out of?
324
00:12:23,341 --> 00:12:25,911
(SIGHS) Cheryl wants me
to go shopping
for end tables with her.
325
00:12:25,943 --> 00:12:28,012
Wait, not even
to buy them.
326
00:12:28,046 --> 00:12:30,382
Just to get ideas.
327
00:12:30,414 --> 00:12:32,216
I'm telling you,
ever since those two
have been fighting,
328
00:12:32,250 --> 00:12:33,753
I've turned
into the new Dana.
329
00:12:34,952 --> 00:12:36,020
Been there.
330
00:12:37,254 --> 00:12:38,456
Hey.
331
00:12:38,490 --> 00:12:40,091
Cheryl?
332
00:12:40,125 --> 00:12:41,927
Cheryl, what are you
doing here?
333
00:12:40,125 --> 00:12:41,927
Hi.
334
00:12:41,960 --> 00:12:43,929
Well, Dana left this
at the party,
335
00:12:43,961 --> 00:12:45,330
and she's not going
to come get it,
336
00:12:45,363 --> 00:12:47,266
so I thought maybe
you could drop it off
at her house.
337
00:12:47,298 --> 00:12:49,268
No problem. I'll put
my best man on it.
338
00:12:49,301 --> 00:12:50,969
(SIGHS)
339
00:12:51,001 --> 00:12:52,136
So...
340
00:12:52,169 --> 00:12:53,905
So, um...
341
00:12:52,169 --> 00:12:53,905
What are you doing?
342
00:12:53,938 --> 00:12:55,072
Well, the girls
are in school,
343
00:12:55,105 --> 00:12:56,508
and Kyle's
at a play date.
344
00:12:56,541 --> 00:12:59,211
I thought maybe
you and I could grab
some salads and talk.
345
00:12:59,244 --> 00:13:00,245
Mmm.
346
00:13:00,278 --> 00:13:01,980
Tell you what,
you make it a steak
and a nooner,
347
00:13:02,013 --> 00:13:03,081
and I'm on board.
348
00:13:03,114 --> 00:13:04,149
Oh.
349
00:13:05,350 --> 00:13:06,819
Oh, would you
look at that?
350
00:13:06,851 --> 00:13:07,752
What?
351
00:13:07,787 --> 00:13:09,421
She probably doesn't
even know it's missing.
352
00:13:09,453 --> 00:13:12,423
You know, she leaves
this thing everywhere.
353
00:13:13,424 --> 00:13:14,592
(SOBBING)
354
00:13:14,625 --> 00:13:17,161
Probably lose her head
if it wasn't screwed on.
355
00:13:17,195 --> 00:13:19,198
Oh, Cheryl, please.
356
00:13:19,230 --> 00:13:22,500
Oh, I'm...
(SCOFFS) I'm fine.
357
00:13:22,533 --> 00:13:24,135
Oh, you know,
my sister and I
358
00:13:24,168 --> 00:13:26,304
will probably just
grow old separately.
359
00:13:27,138 --> 00:13:28,340
(CONTINUES SOBBING)
360
00:13:28,373 --> 00:13:30,342
Until we're finally
brought together again
361
00:13:30,375 --> 00:13:32,144
for Andy's funeral.
362
00:13:36,380 --> 00:13:37,982
Andy, we have got to
do something
363
00:13:38,015 --> 00:13:39,283
to put these two
back together.
364
00:13:39,317 --> 00:13:42,086
You put them together.
I'm staying out of it.
365
00:13:42,120 --> 00:13:44,121
Okay, okay,
then I guess you get
to go with Cheryl
366
00:13:44,154 --> 00:13:46,524
shopping for end tables
that we're not even
going to buy,
367
00:13:46,557 --> 00:13:48,192
because I'm not
doing both of them.
368
00:13:48,225 --> 00:13:49,294
Here.
369
00:13:50,361 --> 00:13:51,831
All right.
370
00:13:52,898 --> 00:13:54,867
But at my funeral,
I want bagpipes.
371
00:13:54,899 --> 00:13:57,435
Hey, that's your day.
You can have
whatever you want.
372
00:14:02,173 --> 00:14:03,174
Oh.
373
00:14:10,081 --> 00:14:11,584
(DOORBELL RINGS)
374
00:14:20,057 --> 00:14:21,125
Hey.
375
00:14:21,158 --> 00:14:22,461
Hey, what are you
doing here?
376
00:14:22,494 --> 00:14:23,928
Brought your jacket.
377
00:14:24,361 --> 00:14:26,063
Huh.
378
00:14:26,096 --> 00:14:27,932
Cheryl didn't want
to bring it herself, huh?
379
00:14:27,966 --> 00:14:29,201
No, she couldn't,
380
00:14:29,234 --> 00:14:31,604
'cause she's really busy
with... Nah.
381
00:14:33,605 --> 00:14:35,106
You want some ice cream?
382
00:14:35,139 --> 00:14:36,173
What flavor?
383
00:14:35,139 --> 00:14:36,173
Do you care?
384
00:14:36,206 --> 00:14:37,275
No.
385
00:14:42,047 --> 00:14:43,447
Oh.
386
00:14:43,480 --> 00:14:45,583
You know, uh...
(CHUCKLES)
387
00:14:45,616 --> 00:14:48,086
This is the first time
you've ever shared
anything with me.
388
00:14:48,119 --> 00:14:50,989
Oh, well,
Andy, I mean,
389
00:14:51,022 --> 00:14:53,057
you're my brother.
I love you.
390
00:14:53,091 --> 00:14:54,225
Yikes.
391
00:14:56,494 --> 00:14:58,196
Come on, Dana.
392
00:14:58,229 --> 00:14:59,932
Why don't you just
give Cheryl a call?
393
00:14:59,965 --> 00:15:02,033
Why? So she can tell me
how pathetic I am
394
00:15:02,067 --> 00:15:03,634
and that
I can't keep a man
and I'm a failure
395
00:15:03,668 --> 00:15:05,102
and I haven't showered
in three days
396
00:15:05,135 --> 00:15:06,270
and all my plants
are dying and...
397
00:15:06,303 --> 00:15:08,273
Would you stop?
398
00:15:08,306 --> 00:15:09,508
What?
399
00:15:09,541 --> 00:15:11,977
Stop feeling sorry
for yourself.
400
00:15:12,009 --> 00:15:13,678
You've got it great.
401
00:15:13,711 --> 00:15:15,713
You're a beautiful,
intelligent woman,
402
00:15:15,746 --> 00:15:17,515
but are you happy? No.
403
00:15:17,548 --> 00:15:20,519
You're sitting here alone
crying, eating ice cream,
404
00:15:20,552 --> 00:15:24,656
and I've been there, Dana,
three times last week.
405
00:15:24,688 --> 00:15:26,958
Andy, listen...
406
00:15:24,688 --> 00:15:26,958
No, you listen to me.
407
00:15:27,993 --> 00:15:29,361
Your problem is, Dana,
408
00:15:29,394 --> 00:15:31,395
that if you can't have
this perfect life
409
00:15:31,428 --> 00:15:32,964
you've always
dreamed about,
410
00:15:32,998 --> 00:15:34,366
you don't want
any life at all.
411
00:15:34,399 --> 00:15:36,335
Well, wake up!
412
00:15:36,368 --> 00:15:38,337
People all around you
are happy.
413
00:15:38,370 --> 00:15:40,004
Cheryl is happy.
414
00:15:40,038 --> 00:15:42,507
She's found someone
she loves.
415
00:15:42,539 --> 00:15:44,208
Is he perfect? No.
416
00:15:44,241 --> 00:15:46,344
Hell, no.
417
00:15:46,378 --> 00:15:47,646
You want
to sit around waiting
418
00:15:47,678 --> 00:15:49,514
for this perfect guy
all your life,
that's fine.
419
00:15:49,547 --> 00:15:51,216
That's your choice.
Go ahead and do that.
420
00:15:51,249 --> 00:15:52,683
But don't knock someone
for playing a game
421
00:15:52,716 --> 00:15:55,019
you won't even
suit up for.
422
00:16:03,427 --> 00:16:04,562
Wow.
423
00:16:03,427 --> 00:16:04,562
Wow.
424
00:16:07,698 --> 00:16:10,335
I never tore anyone
a new one before.
425
00:16:13,738 --> 00:16:15,674
Do I stay?
Do I go? What?
426
00:16:15,706 --> 00:16:18,576
Um, stay. Please.
427
00:16:18,610 --> 00:16:19,711
Okay.
428
00:16:35,592 --> 00:16:37,395
Yeah, I'm going to go.
429
00:16:35,592 --> 00:16:37,395
Okay.
430
00:16:38,495 --> 00:16:39,664
Shower.
431
00:16:49,274 --> 00:16:52,110
Boy, that was
a hell of a party.
432
00:16:53,144 --> 00:16:54,379
Five days ago.
433
00:16:57,148 --> 00:16:58,716
Okay, Cheryl.
434
00:16:58,750 --> 00:17:01,052
But I can live longer
like this than you can.
435
00:17:02,419 --> 00:17:04,755
Girls, go to bed.
436
00:17:04,788 --> 00:17:07,459
Don't forget to wash up
and brush your teeth.
437
00:17:07,491 --> 00:17:09,427
No, we don't want to.
438
00:17:10,828 --> 00:17:13,731
I'll handle it.
Your credibility is
a little shaky right now.
439
00:17:18,803 --> 00:17:20,472
(SIGHS)
440
00:17:20,505 --> 00:17:21,540
(KNOCKING ON DOOR)
441
00:17:22,707 --> 00:17:23,776
Hey.
442
00:17:24,442 --> 00:17:25,477
Hey.
443
00:17:29,213 --> 00:17:30,281
I was so stupid.
444
00:17:30,315 --> 00:17:31,615
No, no, I was mean.
I just...
445
00:17:31,648 --> 00:17:33,651
No, no, let me just say
what I have to say.
446
00:17:33,684 --> 00:17:36,120
I was wrong.
447
00:17:36,153 --> 00:17:37,823
I know how happy
Jim makes you.
448
00:17:37,855 --> 00:17:40,258
I mean, to me,
he's just Jim,
449
00:17:40,290 --> 00:17:44,663
but to you,
he's everything.
450
00:17:44,695 --> 00:17:48,833
And I want a guy
who's everything.
451
00:17:48,866 --> 00:17:51,536
You know, if he comes
in a Jim package,
452
00:17:51,568 --> 00:17:53,805
then I guess I'll just
have to work with that.
453
00:17:53,837 --> 00:17:55,574
Aw!
454
00:17:55,606 --> 00:17:58,777
"Work" doesn't even begin
to describe what I have to
do with Jim.
455
00:18:01,378 --> 00:18:04,448
Oh, God, I ate
a quart of ice cream
before dinner.
456
00:18:04,481 --> 00:18:07,152
I ate two
instead of dinner.
457
00:18:07,184 --> 00:18:08,486
Look.
458
00:18:07,184 --> 00:18:08,486
(GASPS)
459
00:18:08,519 --> 00:18:10,288
Oh, my God.
460
00:18:10,320 --> 00:18:11,322
I know.
461
00:18:11,355 --> 00:18:12,523
That really is stupid.
462
00:18:12,557 --> 00:18:14,358
I know.
463
00:18:14,392 --> 00:18:16,595
I missed you.
464
00:18:14,392 --> 00:18:16,595
Oh, I missed you, too.
465
00:18:17,228 --> 00:18:19,297
Aw!
466
00:18:19,329 --> 00:18:21,332
Oh, what am I going
to do about Hank?
467
00:18:21,365 --> 00:18:22,467
I really liked him.
468
00:18:22,500 --> 00:18:24,702
I know. Call him.
469
00:18:24,736 --> 00:18:26,338
I wouldn't know
what to say.
470
00:18:26,371 --> 00:18:28,340
I mean,
we only went out
for a couple weeks.
471
00:18:28,373 --> 00:18:29,875
We don't know each other
very well.
472
00:18:29,907 --> 00:18:33,244
JIM: Three Little Pigs
is just a story.
473
00:18:33,278 --> 00:18:35,514
I don't know where
they buy their pants.
474
00:18:37,848 --> 00:18:39,518
Go to sleep!
475
00:18:39,550 --> 00:18:43,320
Yep, I think you know Hank
better than you think you do.
476
00:18:43,354 --> 00:18:44,456
Oh, hey, Dana.
477
00:18:44,489 --> 00:18:46,725
Hey.
478
00:18:46,758 --> 00:18:48,727
So, the... The two of you
are cool now?
479
00:18:48,759 --> 00:18:49,794
Yes.
480
00:18:49,826 --> 00:18:51,630
Oh, thank God.
481
00:18:51,663 --> 00:18:52,897
I don't think I could
spend another night
482
00:18:52,931 --> 00:18:55,467
drinking herb tea
and talking handbags.
483
00:18:57,402 --> 00:18:59,904
So, Jim, Dana wants
to make up with Hank,
484
00:18:59,938 --> 00:19:01,239
but she doesn't know
what to say,
485
00:19:01,271 --> 00:19:03,441
so she's going to
talk to you instead.
486
00:19:03,473 --> 00:19:04,710
Me?
487
00:19:03,473 --> 00:19:04,710
Yeah.
488
00:19:05,542 --> 00:19:07,378
Oh, all right.
489
00:19:07,412 --> 00:19:09,548
Let me get
in character here.
490
00:19:10,949 --> 00:19:12,417
(BURPS)
491
00:19:14,618 --> 00:19:15,653
Okay, proceed.
492
00:19:16,453 --> 00:19:17,521
Okay, this is weird.
493
00:19:17,555 --> 00:19:19,423
I'll be right here
the whole time.
494
00:19:19,457 --> 00:19:20,659
Come on.
495
00:19:21,726 --> 00:19:23,929
Come on, come on,
come on, come on.
496
00:19:24,596 --> 00:19:26,765
Okay.
497
00:19:26,798 --> 00:19:28,567
You're Hank.
498
00:19:26,798 --> 00:19:28,567
Yes. Hank.
499
00:19:29,500 --> 00:19:31,269
Um...
500
00:19:31,301 --> 00:19:33,904
I really screwed up.
501
00:19:31,301 --> 00:19:33,904
Mmm-hmm.
502
00:19:33,938 --> 00:19:37,409
I acted like
a spoiled princess
because I was feeling...
503
00:19:37,442 --> 00:19:39,178
(INTERRUPTING)
504
00:19:41,311 --> 00:19:42,580
You know, uh...
505
00:19:42,614 --> 00:19:45,317
Dana, I'm hearing
a lot of "I's,"
506
00:19:45,349 --> 00:19:47,351
but not hearing
any "you's."
507
00:19:47,384 --> 00:19:50,721
I'm a man. You want
to hold my interest?
Talk about me.
508
00:19:53,924 --> 00:19:55,859
You...
509
00:19:53,924 --> 00:19:55,859
Yeah.
510
00:19:55,893 --> 00:19:57,930
Made me feel
really special,
511
00:19:58,730 --> 00:20:02,334
and you made me realize
512
00:20:02,366 --> 00:20:05,403
what a wonderful
person you are.
513
00:20:11,009 --> 00:20:12,743
Am I a sexy beast?
514
00:20:15,946 --> 00:20:17,415
Yes, Hank.
515
00:20:18,849 --> 00:20:21,986
And we were
really great together,
516
00:20:22,019 --> 00:20:23,421
and I lost sight
of that.
517
00:20:23,453 --> 00:20:24,855
But if you give me
another shot,
518
00:20:24,888 --> 00:20:26,690
I will never
do it again.
519
00:20:26,723 --> 00:20:28,759
All right, well,
let's see here.
520
00:20:28,792 --> 00:20:30,261
I'll tell you what.
521
00:20:30,295 --> 00:20:33,598
You open me up
a can of cling peaches,
522
00:20:33,631 --> 00:20:35,500
and you got yourself
a deal.
523
00:20:35,900 --> 00:20:37,469
Cling peaches?
524
00:20:37,501 --> 00:20:38,603
What the heck
do cling peaches...
525
00:20:38,635 --> 00:20:40,471
(INTERRUPTING)
526
00:20:41,838 --> 00:20:44,009
Do you want me back
or not?
527
00:20:44,041 --> 00:20:46,644
Yeah, you know,
it won't always
make sense.
528
00:20:49,547 --> 00:20:51,615
All right.
Cling peaches it is.
529
00:20:51,648 --> 00:20:52,583
Attagirl!
530
00:20:52,616 --> 00:20:56,020
RUBY: Daddy!
Gracie's licking
my doll's head!
531
00:20:56,054 --> 00:20:58,456
GRACIE: She wiped
her boogers on me!
532
00:20:58,489 --> 00:21:00,625
Here we go.
I'm coming up there!
533
00:21:00,657 --> 00:21:01,892
You know,
when I was a kid,
534
00:21:01,925 --> 00:21:02,993
my mom would give me
a sip of brandy
535
00:21:03,027 --> 00:21:05,330
and I was out
for the night.
536
00:21:10,335 --> 00:21:12,703
Okay. I'm going to
go over to Hank's.
537
00:21:12,737 --> 00:21:14,973
Oh, good.
Hey, you gonna wear
the cheerleading outfit?
538
00:21:15,006 --> 00:21:17,442
Yeah, of course.
Cling peaches can
only get me so far.
539
00:21:17,474 --> 00:21:18,909
(LAUGHS)
540
00:21:18,942 --> 00:21:20,679
I love you.
541
00:21:18,942 --> 00:21:20,679
I love you.
542
00:21:20,711 --> 00:21:22,646
JIM: All right,
if you two don't
stop fighting,
543
00:21:22,680 --> 00:21:24,749
I'm going to
let the monster
out of the closet!
544
00:21:24,781 --> 00:21:26,484
(GIRLS SCREAMING)
545
00:21:27,884 --> 00:21:30,020
Girls, girls, get out
from under the bed.
546
00:21:30,054 --> 00:21:31,790
GRACIE: No!
547
00:21:31,823 --> 00:21:33,557
JIM: All right,
but that's where
the snakes are.
548
00:21:33,590 --> 00:21:34,825
(GIRLS SCREAMING)
549
00:21:34,858 --> 00:21:37,528
Hey, Daddy's...
Daddy's kidding.
36322
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