Original subtitles

So you have to wear them forever now.

Forever until you die?

Mom says they make me look extinguished.

She probably said "distinguished."

It's like fancy.

Let me try.

Oh, wow.

You're blind.

- Can you even tell it's me? - Of course I can.

I see you every day.

- Kids, dinner! - You can stay for dinner again.

I should go home.

No, really, you can stay.

My mom says you can stay anytime.

I think she wishes she could swap us.

Then you'd have to live with my mom.

Wow.

You like it?

Yeah, absolutely.

You're beautiful.

Are you ready for this?

I think so.

We have to get through this, then they'll leave us alone for a while.

♪ …feel the same Without saying ♪

♪ We have no past ♪

♪ We won't reach back ♪

♪ Keep with me forward All through the night ♪

♪ And once we start, the meter clicks ♪

♪ And it goes running All through the night ♪

♪ Until it ends There is no end… ♪

It was a dare. She dared me…

to kiss her, and so I did.

And then Kyle tells me that kissing is how you get a girl pregnant,

so…

…I panicked. I-I was ten years old, my mom's gonna kill me,

Danielle's mom is gonna kill the both of us.

I-I have to make this right.

So…

the very next day,

while we were walking to school, I…

get down on one knee, and I asked her to marry me.

And she turned me down.

She says, "We're too young."

And, so, I said…

"When is old enough?"

And, um…

well, over the years, I kept asking and asking.

Now, we're still pretty young,

but I think we are old enough to know what we want,

and what I want is to be the man that gets to be with this girl,

this beautiful, amazing girl, for the rest of our lives.

Danielle, thank you for daring me to do it.

I can't wait.

That's all I wrote.

♪ Bring me a higher love ♪

♪ Bring me a higher love… ♪

Dani, honey, are you having fun?

- Yeah. Yeah, I'm just a little tired. - Yeah.

Eddie says you've been so busy at school.

Yeah, there's a couple of kids that just need a little extra help.

Come with me for a minute. I've got a surprise for you. Come on.

Oh.

Oh, yeah.

Okay, so, one thing I've always loved about you, Danielle,

you always seem to spot the kids that need you the most.

You'd better take care of yourself as well, you know.

Save them all if you can, but put your own oxygen mask on first.

Edmund says the same thing.

All the time.

Here, come here.

This is just a... a…

I don't know, it's a silly thought. It might be a bad idea.

Um, but…

Oh.

I, um…

I remember the first time I met you.

You were just the sweetest little thing.

And you said, "Good morning, Mrs. O'Mara.

I'm Danielle, and I'm gonna be Edmund's new best friend."

You always knew your mind. Always.

So, if this doesn't feel right,

I expect that you will tell me. I trust you will.

I always hoped I'd have a daughter I could give this to.

I'm so proud of my sons,

but I don't think this would suit any of them.

Well, maybe Carson. Anyway, come, let's see.

I mean, we'd have to take it in, of course,

and, um… well, take it up, probably.

Um… But, well, let's just…

see.

Okay.

It's beautiful. I, um…

I don't know what to say.

Oh…

Just say…

"Good morning, Mrs. O'Mara."

You decent?

Come in.

Oh!

You look…

I can scrub up when I need to.

Funeral starts at four.

- Owen said we should get there early. - Okay.

It's a…

It's quite a dress.

Yeah, it's the only thing I had in black.

I-I hate it.

Does look a bit like you're trying to scandalize the village.

Can't say I fault the general principle.

- I just don't want to let Owen down. - He won't mind.

Honestly, you don't have to go if you don't want to.

Really?

He said as much.

Was pretty clear.

Okay. Yeah.

That's a relief, actually. I, um…

I had a funeral in my own life.

Not so long ago.

And I feel like this is, um…

Hey, Poppins.

It's your day off.

I promise, I don't need you to be my date to Owen's mom's funeral.

Okay.

Okay.

Then, can you help me get this thing off?

Blimey.

No, seriously.

The, uh… the zipper.

Right.

Thank you.

Did I pinch you?

No, I'm sorry.

All right.

- Well, I'll be back in a few hours. - Okay.

And if I find out you've not been relaxing,

- there will be serious consequences. - Okay.

Yeah.

Oh.

- Hello, Miss Clayton. - Hm.

I thought you were off to town. For the funeral.

No.

No, I decided to stay home.

I don't like funerals either.

Hm.

So, what you up to down here?

Grave rubbings.

Wow.

I wanted to finish them all

before the end of the season.

Hm.

- Miss Clayton? - Mm-hm?

Will Owen's mom be there?

- Where? - At the funeral.

I suppose so.

My mom and dad weren't at theirs.

They were far away when they died.

They had to bury empty boxes.

But we had to pretend anyway.

And I thought that was quite silly.

Well…

…you know, your parents loved you so, so much that…

…in a way, they'll always be here.

They're not here.

I'm sorry, Miss Clayton.

They're really not.

I've looked and looked. But…

we can pretend if that makes you feel better.

Oh. No.

Okay, now. Come along, sweetie. Your pants are getting wet out here.

What?

What's so... Hey! No!

Mrs. Grose, my trousers got wet in the graveyard,

- and Miss Clayton said I wet my pants. - Oh!

Because in America, "pants" mean "trousers."

That is funny.

She said I wet my pants like a baby.

Oh, Miss Clayton,

let me do one for you.

You haven't seen this.

I'll do it in blue, to match your eyes.

- Mm. - It will be splendid.

Okay.

I, uh…

I guess you didn't make it to the funeral either.

Oh, no, not my cup of tea, the church in the village.

I haven't been there since…

God…

since I was married.

Hm.

I had nothing but respect for Owen's mom, but…

she was long gone.

Dementia is a savage thing.

Jamie said that Owen said it was okay if we missed it.

No, yeah, that's true.

I pay my respect in my own ways.

He understands that funerals are for the living.

It's up to the living to decide what they can and cannot bear.

Hm.

Right, you. Come along.

Let's get some supper started for you children, shall we?

Mm-hm. Me and Miles will help. I can chop things up.

Oh! I'm not letting you chop things up.

- Aww. - Ohh.

The au pair found that she lit her candle

not in remembrance of those that she lost,

but to atone for the moments she didn't remember them.

Those most recent moments

where she'd even been happy to have forgotten them.

I thought you said you were making our favorite for dinner.

I didn't say it was your favorite. It's Owen's favorite.

But Owen isn't here.

- Hey, you lot. - Hello.

- How was it? - Oh, you know, just a barrel of laughs.

Any chance for a brew?

Yeah, I'll make tea.

No!

I'll make it.

Can you, uh…

make sure these two don't chop their fingers off?

Owen did his best.

Almost no one even remembers how she was when her mind hadn't gone.

Hate to say it,

but, on some level, it must be a relief.

For Owen, I mean.

Uh, did he, um…

Did he seem relieved?

No.

Didn't seem much of anything. Shell-shocked.

I'd be relieved, though.

Losing yourself like that.

Being worn away a little bit every day.

Good Christ.

Just shoot me.

Put me out my misery.

It's not fair on anyone.

I don't think fairness comes into it, dear.

Hm.

That's right, butter.

Poppins, you all right?

Yeah.

I-I'm fine.

I need a…

I need a minute.

I th... Oh, my God.

Jesus.

What happened?

I thought he was Peter Quint.

Which is ridiculous. I'm much better looking.

Hey, stand down, Poppins.

Oh! Oh, my God.

I am so sorry, Owen. Uh...

It's actually quite impressive. No damage done.

Owen, you prat.

What are you doing leaping out on innocent Americans?

You're meant to be at a funeral.

Uh, I just needed to leave,

so I got in the car, and I didn't know I was coming here

un-until I arrived and, well,

I should… I should go, shouldn't I?

- I should go back, 'cause... - Supper's, uh…

almost done.

You should eat. I'll bet you haven't eaten.

Mrs. Grose,

how did you know Owen was coming?

She's been making your favorite.

Come on.

Let someone else cook for you for a change.

Oh, she gave me a heart attack.

God, Dani, look at you.

- I should've kept my dress. - Hm.

I think I burned it.

Bad memories, bad marriage.

Luckily, Danielle does not share my taste in men.

Well, lucky for Edmund, okay?

I mean, he's the lucky one in this equation.

And I'm happy to say, he knows it.

You've got great shoulders.

You know that?

Thank you.

You should wear your hair up on the day. Show them off.

Karen, come on.

Did you let Mike see you in yours?

- No, but... - Danielle's father helped pick mine out,

and look how that turned out.

I don't think you can blame that on the dress.

♪ You and I… ♪

Mrs. Grose says shepherd's pie is your favorite…

…so I wanted to bring it to you,

because you're my favorite.

Thank you, sweetheart.

Hannah, this is pretty great.

I remembered what you told me.

Half a teaspoon of Marmite in the gravy.

You can taste it.

Yeah, my, uh…

My mom used to make this when she had to go away for work.

It would keep for days in the fridge.

Sorry, still recovering.

I was attacked, you know.

Right at the front door.

I'm so sorry.

Hey, you leave her alone. She can't help it.

She's American. They're essentially savage people.

Will you be going away now, Owen?

Now you don't have to look after your mom anymore?

- Why? Are you sick of me? - No!

Admit it, you're all sick of me.

I bet Mrs. Grose can't wait to get me out of her hair.

That's right. I'm far too old to be putting up with you

loitering around my kitchen all day.

No, she likes you.

Really.

Mrs. Grose, tell him!

Just eat your dinner.

You're not dying, you know.

What do you mean?

When Mum and Dad died,

I thought I was going to die too.

I was sure of it.

But then I thought…

…what if I was already dead?

But nobody else knew,

and I was walking around dead.

But everybody could see and hear me.

That was dreadful.

It only felt like dying…

…because actually, I was still alive.

You have to be to feel that way.

I wasn't dead.

I was just really, really sad.

But then I learned a secret.

I didn't even need to be sad anymore.

What secret?

Dead doesn't mean gone.

So…

you don't need to be sad.

- Miss Clayton? - Hm?

I think I ought to be allowed a glass of wine.

Mm.

You know, I disagree.

You're all having some.

Anyway… Peter let me have wine sometimes...

For pity's sake. Will we ever hear the end of Peter Quint?

My mum used to water mine down.

Yeah, gave me half a glass.

My mom too.

Except without the water.

They do that in France for the little kids.

I don't want it watered down! I want an actual bloody drink!

Uh-uh. No!

Good night, Owen.

Good night.

Come on. Both of you.

You know…

I do like that young woman.

Miss Clayton…

…please don't move things around in my doll house.

Oh, I...

I have a very particular system.

I'm sorry.

Oh…

You've got Peter.

Flora.

Yes?

Have Miles or you…

…seen Peter Quint?

Since he left.

Maybe you…

let him into the house.

Look, I'm not angry.

I'd just like for you to tell me the truth.

No.

Of course not.

We don't let him in the house.

That's not how it works.

What are you looking at?

I-I'm sorry?

You do that, a lot.

You look over my shoulder. What are you looking at?

I don't know what you mean.

Well, that was quite the display, wasn't it?

What was?

Miles, you and I are a lot alike.

Are we?

Yeah… We are.

In one of the biggest ways people can be.

I didn't have parents growing up either.

My dad died…

when I was about Flora's age.

And my mom…

…was alive, but, um…

…she wasn't really there anymore.

So, a lot of the times, I had to be my own parent.

The kids like us…

…like you…

…and me…

…and Flora…

…we're special.

We grow up faster than other kids.

Hm.

And even more special…

we really get to choose the grown-ups that we keep in our life.

Well, mostly, anyway.

I suppose that is pretty special.

I'm saying this 'cause I want you to know that I understand.

When you talk a little bit more grown-up, or…

you wanna act like the grown-ups, I understand.

I was the same way.

You lost somebody too.

I did.

I've lost people a few ways in my life.

But…

wow!

Miles, you've got some great grown-ups.

Some great people here to choose for your family.

If you want to.

Good night.

We're all outside, and you're joining us.

Hm.

Oh, there she is.

Dig in. Some of this wine hasn't seen daylight

- since before you were born. - Huh.

Hannah, give her a bottle.

Hannah.

- Hm? - Where did you go, love?

I'm so sorry.

I, um… I've been drifting lately. Quite a bit, I'm afraid.

- Thank you. - Thank you.

Hey.

- Easy. - Oh.

You're gonna hurt yourself.

I'm sorry. I-I… I keep trying to stop.

Look, I know it's been…

it's been a lot.

You always hear that planning a wedding

is one of the most stressful things you can do.

But you're doing great.

And I just wanted to give us a night where…

we don't have to talk about any of it.

Uh… Actually…

Eddie, I was thinking we could just tone it all down.

Maybe just…

I don't know, I don't think we have to go so… crazy with it.

Y-Yeah, I thought you wanted a big wedding.

I-I…

If you don't, that's all perfectly well and fine.

I…

thought I wanted it.

I wanted…

to want it.

But it's just so expensive,

and…

so much…

to organize.

So many people to let down...

Y-Yeah, no, easy. It's dumb.

For a second, I thought you were gonna say

you didn't wanna get married at all.

Eddie.

I can't.

What did I do?

- Nothing. - What didn't I do?

- It's not like that. - Well, then, what's it like, Danielle?

Thank you.

This makes no sense.

I should have said something sooner.

- Yeah, you think? - I didn't wanna hurt you… or your mom.

Or your family.

And then it was just what we were doing.

- Jesus Christ... - I just…

thought I was being selfish.

That I could just stick it out,

and, eventually, I would feel how I was supposed to.

You didn't wanna hurt me, huh?

And…

I love you.

So much.

Even still.

- It's just not... I don't... - Fuck you, Danielle!

How... W-Why are you doing this to me?

I, um…

I don't... Eddie…

Okay. Yeah.

- Eddie. - No, let me go.

- Eddie! - Let me go.

- I'm sorry! - Jesus, have you not... You've done enough!

I'm sorry.

Eddie! Eddie!

Eddie!

Oh, damn it! Fallen soldier.

Owen, be a hero, pass us a fresh bottle.

Oh, I love a bonfire, I do. Reminds me of being a little girl again.

Mind you, I do appreciate the adult beverages.

You know, in the old days…

I mean, the really old days,

they used to build giant bonfires at this time of year.

And talk about the people they'd lost.

Toss in offerings to drive away evil spirits.

- Old bones, mostly. - I remember.

That's why they call it a bonfire, isn't it?

As I was sayin',

that's why it's called a bonfire.

From the old English, meaning "bone fire."

Build a pile of old bones and burn away the shadows.

Because from here on in,

the shadows get deeper…

…the nights get longer.

We're heading into the dark, and we have to hang onto each other.

So we can only carry so much.

So…

anyone got any old bones to throw?

All right, I'll start.

Rebecca.

Rebecca Jessel.

Oh, my God, it's been almost a year.

A year focused on the wrong person.

But, wherever she is,

she's still worth ten of that man. I won't say his name.

She was brilliant.

She was beautiful.

And she was punished for it.

I don't know why brilliant young women are always punished.

Rebecca.

All right, my turn.

Lord and Lady Wingrave.

Dominic and Charlotte.

They were good people.

Old-fashioned…

kind people.

And their kids really miss them.

Nothing can fix that.

Not ever.

But here's Dani Clayton.

She's a bit of a weirdo, but she's a lot stronger than she thinks.

And if anyone can bring Miles and Flora back to themselves,

she can.

I'm glad she's here.

I think they would be too.

What about you, Poppins?

Um…

No, thank you.

That's all right.

No, you... you don't have to.

So…

my mom.

Margaret Sharma.

She was 67.

Except sometimes, by the end, she forgot that.

Called me by my dad's name, or her brother's.

You know, I tried to pretend

that I didn't know who I was supposed to be.

They didn't say any of that at the funeral.

They wouldn't. They just…

…smoothed it over.

Made it nice.

So, they left out all the bad stuff.

And all the good stuff.

They didn't say how funny she was.

How she would…

wink at you from across the breakfast table.

She had a sweet tooth.

And a dirty laugh.

And she loved me…

so hard…

it hurt.

Sometimes.

No matter what I did.

She was gone long before she died.

And I miss her.

She was my anchor.

And then I suppose she was my…

…burden.

Christ.

She seemed so small,

at the end.

But still so…

…heavy.

And I…

And all I could do was just…

let her hang onto me

until it was time for her to let go.

And soon I'll let her go, too.

I'm so sorry.

I'm so sorry.

Thank you.

I'm so sorry, Danielle.

He was a wonderful young man, and you were a lovely couple.

Thank you.

Forgive me.

You're doing so well, honey.

I'm so sorry. I'm so sorry.

You made him so happy, right till the end. I hope you know that.

You're being so brave, honey.

I'm really proud of you.

Excuse me!

I'm sorry.

I'm sorry.

Hm.

The au pair was tired. She had been tired for so long.

Yet without even realizing she was doing it,

she found herself taking her own advice that she'd given to Miles.

She'd chosen someone to keep close to her,

that she could feel tired around.

Chosen someone who might help her burn away the shadows.

I'm not gonna ask if you're all right, 'cause I don't like being lied to.

So, what's wrong?

I thought I saw…

Peter Quint.

- But it wasn't? - No, of course not.

It's not the first time I've…

seen things that…

aren't there.

So, what else?

Well…

I, uh, I…

I guess I…

…told you about my fiancé…

earlier, didn't I?

Oh, you did.

Yeah.

I was, uh…

hoping we'd, uh, get round to that one.

Yeah.

We were…

We were engaged, and he... he died.

He died and I, uh…

I sometimes, I… It's like…

I see him.

I've never told anybody that.

I'm…

…so, so sorry.

We were about to break up.

We, uh…

I'd broken…

We had broken up. I'd broken up, I guess.

Right before.

I mean, right…

…right before.

Jesus, Dani, the same day?

Yeah.

Is he here now?

No.

Good.

'Cause, you know, I'll sort him out for you if I have to.

Oi…

dead boyfriend!

Give it up, mate! It's over!

Seriously, Poppins.

How are you still standing?

Think I'm crazy?

I think you're surprisingly sane, considering.

Look…

I know what it feels like…

to feel like you can't find your...

You sure?

Yes.

Okay.

Right.

- So… - I don't know what to…

- I don't know what to say. - Just forget about it.

It's my fault. I'm sorry.

I'm sorry, just…

- Jamie. - You were just telling me.

Literally telling me that you weren't up for this.

Just…

Let's…

Let's get back.

Uh, another night, maybe.

Another time, maybe.

But what the gardener didn't yet understand

was that the au pair had been telling herself

to wait another night…

…another time…

…for years and years.

- Oh, oh, hi, Danielle. - Oh.

Uh, y-you've not been answering your phone, so I thought I'd come around.

Oh, I'm sorry, Judy, I, um…

Uh, it's, it's, um…

- It's been a bad time. - Oh, of course.

Honey, I'm... I… I'm worried.

People say you're not taking care of yourself.

You've got to eat.

I brought some lasagna.

- Oh, my favorite. - Yeah.

- Thanks. - No.

I-I brought something else, too. It's…

Um…

I…

I think it's silly, sort of, but…

I thought you might like to have these.

Oh, uh…

No. Judy, I-I'm sorry, but I...

Really? They were in his things that came back from the hospital and…

I can't stand to look at them.

I couldn't bear to throw them away, so I thought…

- Please. - Okay, of course.

Thank you.

Danielle…

I hope you know that you're still a really important part of this family.

I hope you know that I mean that. Come here, come on.

Ohh…

Oh, my sweet thing.

Okay, um, I-I actually have some stuff I need to get done.

- Oh, sure, of course. Um… - Yeah.

Please, please come by for dinner, any night.

- Okay, I will. - Okay.

Real soon.

Lots of love.

Okay. Uh, bye-bye now.

Bye, sweetheart.

Say it with me.

Hannah Grose in Paris.

You and me, while we still can.

So sorry to interrupt, but I'm turning into a pumpkin.

Come on, Owen, time to go home.

Oh, it's about that time.

Well…

I'll-co-hol you later.

God, even for you.

Drive safe.

I know the road. We'll be fine.

It's all good.

Christ, the state of you.

Miss Clayton?

Miles!

Miss Clayton!

What the he...

What the heck are you doing down here?

Fl-Flora had a nightmare.

Okay, let's get you two back to bed.

Not just yet.

I'm quite frightened.

It was a horrible dream.

Well, you should be in bed.

Not now, I won't.

What happened?

There was something horrible and loud in the wardrobe.

Mm-hm.

Moving from in there to under…

A creature!

A creature under my bed.

And it knew my name.

And it was reaching out, and it knew my name.

And it said it wanted to do awful things.

And it had bones for hands.

That sounds awful.

It was my mum.

I am so…

sorry, Flora.

That sounds like an awful dream.

Well.

Let's get you two back to bed, okay?

Just a minute.

I don't want to just yet.

I was so scared,

but I'm feeling better already.

Just…

a-a few minutes more.

Just a minute, really.

In... in fact,

c-could I have a glass of milk?

Of course.

I'm sorry.

No.

It's okay, okay? There's nothing to be scared of.

- Quite right. - Yeah.

Good night…

sweet girl.

Talk about this in the morning.

It's just you and me, then.

Hm?