subtitlecat.com

All language subtitles for The.Girl.Next.Door.UNRATED.2004.720p.BrRip.x264-@lubokvideo

Afrikaans

Albanian

Amharic

Arabic

Armenian

Azerbaijani

Basque

Belarusian

Bengali

Bosnian

Bulgarian

Catalan

Cebuano

Chichewa

Chinese (Simplified)

Chinese (Traditional)

Corsican

Croatian

Czech

Danish

Dutch

English

Esperanto

Estonian

Filipino

Finnish

French

Frisian

Galician

Georgian

German

Greek

Gujarati

Haitian Creole

Hausa

Hawaiian

Hebrew

Hindi

Hmong

Hungarian

Icelandic

Igbo

Indonesian

Irish

Italian

Japanese

Javanese

Kannada

Kazakh

Khmer

Korean

Kurdish (Kurmanji)

Kyrgyz

Lao

Latin

Latvian

Lithuanian

Luxembourgish

Macedonian

Malagasy Download

Malay

Malayalam Download

Maltese

Maori

Marathi

Mongolian

Myanmar (Burmese)

Nepali

Norwegian

Pashto

Persian

Polish

Portuguese

Punjabi

Romanian

Russian

Samoan

Scots Gaelic

Serbian

Sesotho

Shona

Sindhi

Sinhala

Slovak

Slovenian

Somali

Spanish

Sundanese

Swahili

Swedish

Tajik

Tamil Download

Telugu

Thai

Turkish

Ukrainian

Urdu

Uzbek

Vietnamese

Welsh

Xhosa

Yiddish

Yoruba

Zulu

Odia (Oriya)

Kinyarwanda

Turkmen

Tatar

Uyghur

Would you like to inspect the original subtitles? These are the user uploaded subtitles that are being translated: 1 00:00:00,000 --> 00:00:20,000 Join Telegram: @lubokvideo - https://t.me/lubokvideo 2 00:00:40,306 --> 00:00:42,908 How do you want me? 3 00:00:42,943 --> 00:00:47,030 Oh, that's good. Yeah, just... Just get comfortable. 4 00:00:50,033 --> 00:00:51,910 I'm a little nervous. 5 00:00:52,119 --> 00:00:53,620 You're doing great. 6 00:00:57,040 --> 00:00:59,334 A little to the right there, gorgeous. 7 00:00:59,543 --> 00:01:02,921 - Okay. Like this? - Oh, that a girl. 8 00:01:08,219 --> 00:01:10,722 Yeah. Okay. 9 00:01:10,930 --> 00:01:12,932 - You ready? - Yeah. 10 00:01:13,141 --> 00:01:15,643 - You're blushing, Dorothy. - Don't blush, Kathy. 11 00:01:15,810 --> 00:01:17,645 Oh, Kathy. 12 00:01:18,646 --> 00:01:21,149 Okay, and big smile. 13 00:01:21,816 --> 00:01:23,234 Kathy Regan. 14 00:01:23,443 --> 00:01:25,111 I will always remember... 15 00:01:25,528 --> 00:01:27,238 ...the game against Fairfield. 16 00:01:27,447 --> 00:01:29,240 That one final kick. 17 00:01:29,449 --> 00:01:32,035 State champion, senior year. 18 00:01:32,410 --> 00:01:34,120 Hunter McCaffrey. 19 00:01:34,537 --> 00:01:36,039 I will always remember... 20 00:01:36,247 --> 00:01:39,042 ...all the great times with the dirty dozen... 21 00:01:39,250 --> 00:01:41,419 ...and macking all the honeys. 22 00:01:42,628 --> 00:01:44,422 Cindy K. Tina B. 23 00:01:44,630 --> 00:01:46,717 Michelle H. Goddamn! 24 00:01:47,051 --> 00:01:48,427 Just too many to remember. 25 00:01:49,636 --> 00:01:53,223 I'll always remember lacrosse champions. 26 00:01:54,224 --> 00:01:56,435 All the glory days with the boys. 27 00:01:56,643 --> 00:01:58,020 I will always remember... 28 00:01:58,729 --> 00:02:00,522 ...the math-club madmen... 29 00:02:01,732 --> 00:02:03,650 ...making the perfect fake ID's... 30 00:02:04,151 --> 00:02:06,445 ...which lasted six seconds 31 00:02:07,821 --> 00:02:10,240 - Troy Cochran. - Troy Cochran. 32 00:02:10,449 --> 00:02:11,950 - Troy gives good head. - Fuck you! 33 00:02:12,326 --> 00:02:13,827 I'll always remember... 34 00:02:14,036 --> 00:02:15,621 Seniors! 35 00:02:15,913 --> 00:02:18,040 ...the senior prank. 36 00:03:23,315 --> 00:03:26,819 Matthew Kidman. I will always remember... 37 00:03:33,534 --> 00:03:35,453 YEARBOOK MEMORIES FORM SENIORS ONLY! 38 00:03:35,619 --> 00:03:38,039 MATTHEW KIDMAN I'll always remember... 39 00:03:47,631 --> 00:03:50,552 Yeah, well, I told you I wanted to try out. 40 00:03:54,431 --> 00:03:56,516 We'd like to honor a student... 41 00:03:56,641 --> 00:03:59,936 ...who has shown outstanding leadership. 42 00:04:01,021 --> 00:04:02,814 We have no doubt that he will be one... 43 00:04:02,939 --> 00:04:04,649 ...of the great politicians in Washington. 44 00:04:04,816 --> 00:04:06,151 Georgetown UNIVERSITY 45 00:04:06,318 --> 00:04:09,946 The award for the brightest leader... 46 00:04:10,030 --> 00:04:12,032 ...of tomorrow, Matthew Kidman. 47 00:04:14,826 --> 00:04:17,120 - I'm in! I'm in! - Oh, my God! Oh, my God! 48 00:04:18,455 --> 00:04:20,040 Georgetown! They gave it to you! 49 00:04:58,121 --> 00:04:59,831 Hey, Jenny. 50 00:05:02,041 --> 00:05:04,127 Yeah, dude, come on. 51 00:05:14,722 --> 00:05:17,224 SENIOR PROM DO YOU HAVE THE FEVER? 52 00:05:18,851 --> 00:05:21,437 - Do you have the fever? - No. 53 00:05:22,354 --> 00:05:24,148 Why? Do you? 54 00:05:24,857 --> 00:05:26,817 I don't know. Maybe. 55 00:05:27,735 --> 00:05:29,319 How about you? 56 00:05:29,737 --> 00:05:31,655 I just gotta fuck something. 57 00:05:31,822 --> 00:05:34,450 I said, everybody say, "Ho!" 58 00:05:40,247 --> 00:05:41,623 You know what I say? 59 00:05:41,832 --> 00:05:45,753 I say, this prom is gonna be off the hook! Do you feel me? 60 00:05:52,052 --> 00:05:54,721 Security's gonna be tight. Get wasted before you show up. 61 00:05:56,139 --> 00:05:57,849 That's enough! 62 00:05:58,058 --> 00:06:00,518 That's enough. I can wait. 63 00:06:00,727 --> 00:06:03,355 I can wait, people. 64 00:06:04,522 --> 00:06:07,442 Now, it is your student-council president... 65 00:06:07,525 --> 00:06:10,028 ...who has a few announcements to make. 66 00:06:12,155 --> 00:06:13,531 Thanks, Mr. Salinger. 67 00:06:18,453 --> 00:06:20,747 All right, how you doing? 68 00:06:22,749 --> 00:06:25,627 Okay, let's start off with Operation Get Samnang. 69 00:06:25,835 --> 00:06:27,837 Sam Young, baby! 70 00:06:28,922 --> 00:06:30,256 Yeah. 71 00:06:31,257 --> 00:06:35,137 Well, we did it. We raised the 25,000 dollars... 72 00:06:35,346 --> 00:06:38,557 ...so now we can bring the genius Samnang out of Cambodia... 73 00:06:38,724 --> 00:06:40,643 ...and bring him here to study at Westport. 74 00:06:43,354 --> 00:06:47,149 Speaking of which, Samnang sent us a new tape. 75 00:06:47,358 --> 00:06:49,151 Show that shit! 76 00:06:51,320 --> 00:06:52,738 Show it! 77 00:06:53,239 --> 00:06:55,950 Hi, everyone, it's Samnang. 78 00:06:57,952 --> 00:06:59,745 Sam Young! 79 00:06:59,954 --> 00:07:03,749 I am very excited to be coming soon. Are you excited? 80 00:07:08,254 --> 00:07:11,841 I told my class that I am coming to America. They were sad. 81 00:07:12,049 --> 00:07:13,426 I am so happy. 82 00:07:13,634 --> 00:07:16,138 - I wanna bang you! - Go, Cougars! 83 00:07:31,319 --> 00:07:33,947 How do they just skip class every day and go to the beach? 84 00:07:34,531 --> 00:07:36,325 Because they just don't care. 85 00:07:47,836 --> 00:07:49,254 Let's go with them. 86 00:07:50,756 --> 00:07:53,050 - Seriously, let's just do it. - Why? 87 00:07:53,425 --> 00:07:55,928 Because, I mean, we never do anything. 88 00:07:56,137 --> 00:07:59,140 I mean, we're graduating. We should be going nuts right now. 89 00:07:59,349 --> 00:08:00,641 Let's just do something. 90 00:08:00,850 --> 00:08:02,852 I am doing something, I'm going to class. 91 00:08:03,227 --> 00:08:05,229 Klitz, you already got into Yale. 92 00:08:05,355 --> 00:08:06,939 I mean, it doesn't matter anymore. 93 00:08:07,148 --> 00:08:08,649 Yeah, Klitz, you pussy. 94 00:08:08,858 --> 00:08:11,652 - Well, why don't you go? - Yeah, come on. Let's go. 95 00:08:11,819 --> 00:08:13,738 Beach is for fags, man. 96 00:08:13,946 --> 00:08:16,449 - The beach is for fags? - Yeah. 97 00:08:17,659 --> 00:08:20,536 You know what? You guys are fags. 98 00:08:25,333 --> 00:08:26,542 Everyone to the beach! 99 00:08:28,544 --> 00:08:30,922 Let's go! Lock them and load them, dude. 100 00:08:32,340 --> 00:08:33,633 WESTPORT HIGH SCHOOL 101 00:08:35,343 --> 00:08:36,929 Fuck it. 102 00:08:55,823 --> 00:08:57,449 SCHOOL SECURITY 103 00:08:57,741 --> 00:09:00,452 Personal power means the ability to act... 104 00:09:00,536 --> 00:09:03,247 ...the ability to take action. 105 00:09:03,455 --> 00:09:05,332 STOP CHECK-OUT WITH SECURITY 106 00:09:05,541 --> 00:09:08,127 Three steps to personal power are necessary for results. 107 00:09:08,335 --> 00:09:09,962 Here's number one step to personal power. 108 00:09:10,045 --> 00:09:12,631 It's called energy. Energy. 109 00:09:12,840 --> 00:09:15,634 When you wake up feeling really lethargic, really lousy... 110 00:09:15,843 --> 00:09:18,054 ...do you usually jump up and go-? 111 00:09:27,230 --> 00:09:28,523 Oh, shit. 112 00:09:49,044 --> 00:09:51,463 Hey! Pull it over! 113 00:09:53,131 --> 00:09:55,133 Pull it over! Pull- 114 00:10:26,123 --> 00:10:27,625 Oh, well, you're home early. 115 00:10:27,958 --> 00:10:30,127 I postponed yearbook. I gotta work on my speech 116 00:10:30,336 --> 00:10:32,630 - Hi, Mr. Peterson. - Mr. President. 117 00:10:32,963 --> 00:10:34,840 - Mrs. Peterson. - Congratulations. 118 00:10:35,049 --> 00:10:37,927 - Oh, thank you. - Congratulations. Georgetown. 119 00:10:38,135 --> 00:10:40,931 Wow, you must be flying. 120 00:10:41,139 --> 00:10:42,057 It's cool. 121 00:10:42,140 --> 00:10:43,558 What's the speech you're working on? 122 00:10:43,725 --> 00:10:46,561 Oh, it's for this scholarship I need to get so I can... 123 00:10:46,645 --> 00:10:48,730 ...actually go to Georgetown. 124 00:10:48,939 --> 00:10:50,524 It's pretty expensive. 125 00:10:50,732 --> 00:10:52,734 What kind of scholarship is it? 126 00:10:52,769 --> 00:10:53,443 What do they give it for? 127 00:10:53,652 --> 00:10:58,240 It's for the student who best demonstrates moral fiber. 128 00:10:58,448 --> 00:11:00,325 Oh, moral fiber. Well, that's- 129 00:11:00,742 --> 00:11:03,328 - Oh, I'm sure you'll get it. - Thanks. I mean, I hope so. 130 00:11:03,537 --> 00:11:04,955 I mean, there's some stiff Competition... 131 00:11:05,038 --> 00:11:07,541 ...and they only pick one of us... 132 00:11:07,749 --> 00:11:11,128 ...so I'll just have to blow them away with my speech. 133 00:11:14,464 --> 00:11:18,051 Okay, so why do I deserve this scholarship? 134 00:11:18,260 --> 00:11:20,262 1. MAKE EYE CONTACT 2. BE CHARMING 3. JFK! 135 00:11:20,429 --> 00:11:23,057 ...can do for you but what you can do..." 136 00:11:23,141 --> 00:11:25,727 John F. Kennedy once said, "Ask not what 137 00:12:00,553 --> 00:12:02,055 Look, I don't know who she is. 138 00:12:02,264 --> 00:12:05,351 I'm just saying that this girl was unbelievable. 139 00:12:05,559 --> 00:12:07,936 I mean, she was like this angel. 140 00:12:08,145 --> 00:12:11,732 I mean, she had this smile. I mean, you should have seen it. 141 00:12:11,940 --> 00:12:15,152 - So did you bang her? - Oh, yeah, yeah. I banged her. 142 00:12:15,444 --> 00:12:17,029 That's what a man does, okay? 143 00:12:17,237 --> 00:12:20,240 - Yeah. Okay, Eli. - Good. 144 00:12:23,660 --> 00:12:25,454 Oh, my God. She's so hot. 145 00:12:25,663 --> 00:12:28,540 - What channel, dude? - No, the girl next door. 146 00:12:28,749 --> 00:12:30,334 I can see her through my window. 147 00:12:30,542 --> 00:12:31,835 How's the rack? 148 00:12:32,127 --> 00:12:35,339 - God, who is this girl? - How's the rack? 149 00:12:35,547 --> 00:12:37,257 - Hold on. Relax. - No. You relax. 150 00:12:37,466 --> 00:12:39,426 Be a man and go over there. 151 00:12:39,635 --> 00:12:41,053 Okay. Say what? 152 00:12:41,261 --> 00:12:43,848 I don't know. Get off your ass and do something. Fuck! 153 00:12:48,937 --> 00:12:50,647 - Hey, what are you doing? - What? 154 00:12:50,855 --> 00:12:52,649 Hey, dude, seriously, I told you... 155 00:12:52,857 --> 00:12:55,068 ...it really freaks me out when you watch that while... 156 00:12:55,151 --> 00:12:56,444 ...you're talking to me. 157 00:12:56,653 --> 00:12:58,947 Just learn to like it. 158 00:13:04,327 --> 00:13:06,955 Oh, my God. 159 00:13:07,163 --> 00:13:09,457 What? Matt, what? 160 00:13:09,666 --> 00:13:10,959 Matt! 161 00:13:17,132 --> 00:13:19,259 Dude, what the fuck? 162 00:13:38,654 --> 00:13:40,031 Shit! 163 00:14:10,562 --> 00:14:12,731 - Yes? - I'm sorry. 164 00:14:14,358 --> 00:14:17,152 - Dan. - What's going on? 165 00:14:17,652 --> 00:14:18,362 Matthew! 166 00:14:19,363 --> 00:14:21,656 Matthew, come down here. 167 00:14:33,251 --> 00:14:35,754 - What are you doing up there? - Nothing. 168 00:14:35,962 --> 00:14:37,964 Come down here. 169 00:14:45,430 --> 00:14:46,765 This is Danielle. 170 00:14:46,933 --> 00:14:50,853 You know Mrs. Clark from next door. Danielle's her niece. 171 00:14:51,562 --> 00:14:53,940 Danielle just told us something very interesting. 172 00:14:54,941 --> 00:14:58,569 Mrs. Clark is in Africa for two weeks with her church group. 173 00:14:58,736 --> 00:15:00,071 Did you know that? 174 00:15:01,447 --> 00:15:03,950 Anyway, Danielle just came in from Los Angeles... 175 00:15:04,158 --> 00:15:06,953 ...and she's housesitting while her aunt's away. 176 00:15:07,161 --> 00:15:08,663 Why don't you show her around. 177 00:15:18,840 --> 00:15:21,134 Such a long road, you know. 178 00:15:29,643 --> 00:15:32,855 - What are we doing? - Did you like what you saw? 179 00:15:33,272 --> 00:15:35,232 What are you talking about? 180 00:15:37,234 --> 00:15:40,571 Okay, I saw you for, like, an instant. 181 00:15:40,738 --> 00:15:42,239 - An instant? - Yeah. 182 00:15:42,448 --> 00:15:43,949 It was no big deal. 183 00:15:45,659 --> 00:15:50,330 No, no, it was- It was a big deal, but it's just that... 184 00:15:50,539 --> 00:15:52,333 I didn't... 185 00:15:55,169 --> 00:15:56,962 I'm sorry. 186 00:15:57,171 --> 00:15:58,756 I'm sorry. 187 00:16:00,341 --> 00:16:02,051 So, what are we gonna do about this? 188 00:16:03,844 --> 00:16:05,971 I mean, I said I was sorry. 189 00:16:10,268 --> 00:16:11,644 What? 190 00:16:11,853 --> 00:16:13,146 You saw me... 191 00:16:15,565 --> 00:16:17,859 Yeah, right, like I'm gonna strip right here? 192 00:16:21,446 --> 00:16:22,947 Are you serious? 193 00:16:26,159 --> 00:16:27,869 No. 194 00:16:28,953 --> 00:16:31,664 No. No, never gonna happen. 195 00:16:34,834 --> 00:16:36,670 The whole package. 196 00:16:36,836 --> 00:16:38,463 No, come on, this is good enough. 197 00:16:41,049 --> 00:16:43,343 Jesus! Come on, will you relax? 198 00:16:45,762 --> 00:16:47,347 Frigging psycho. 199 00:16:54,855 --> 00:16:57,149 There. You happy now? 200 00:17:02,363 --> 00:17:03,656 Yep. 201 00:17:05,533 --> 00:17:08,160 Hey! Wait! 202 00:17:08,869 --> 00:17:10,871 No! 203 00:17:12,164 --> 00:17:14,834 Jesus. Sorry. 204 00:17:23,551 --> 00:17:25,636 You're an asshole. It's not funny. 205 00:17:25,845 --> 00:17:27,847 It's a little funny. 206 00:17:30,850 --> 00:17:32,269 Come on. 207 00:17:32,436 --> 00:17:34,771 Let me in. Let me in. 208 00:17:46,450 --> 00:17:48,160 It's not funny. 209 00:17:48,368 --> 00:17:50,037 It's a little funny. 210 00:18:01,340 --> 00:18:04,343 So, what else do you do besides torture people? 211 00:18:06,470 --> 00:18:08,764 - Seriously, what's your story? - I don't know. 212 00:18:09,848 --> 00:18:11,558 I kind of just quit my job. 213 00:18:12,559 --> 00:18:15,438 I want to start over. Maybe go to college. 214 00:18:20,860 --> 00:18:25,573 So are you here alone or what? 215 00:18:25,740 --> 00:18:27,867 - What? - Just ask. 216 00:18:33,456 --> 00:18:36,667 Do you have a boyfriend? 217 00:18:37,543 --> 00:18:39,045 No. 218 00:18:41,339 --> 00:18:44,967 Aren't you gonna ask me if I have a girlfriend? 219 00:18:46,969 --> 00:18:48,137 No. 01:18:45.04:18:46.13 Okay. 220 00:18:48,471 --> 00:18:51,474 So you're about to graduate. You must be going nuts right now. 221 00:18:53,267 --> 00:18:54,645 Yeah. 222 00:18:54,853 --> 00:18:59,066 I mean, it's just been off the hook, you know? 223 00:18:59,358 --> 00:19:00,943 - Really? - Yeah. 224 00:19:02,152 --> 00:19:04,446 So, what's the craziest thing you've done lately? 225 00:19:04,655 --> 00:19:07,157 Oh, I mean, it's hard to tell, you know, because we- 226 00:19:07,366 --> 00:19:09,952 I've just done so much nuts stuff. I mean... 227 00:19:10,452 --> 00:19:13,372 It's just off the hook, off the walls. I mean... 228 00:19:13,539 --> 00:19:16,166 You haven't done anything, have you? 229 00:19:17,376 --> 00:19:18,669 No. 230 00:19:19,545 --> 00:19:22,339 It's kind of- It's kind of been my problem lately. 231 00:19:22,548 --> 00:19:24,967 Come on, there's gotta be something. 232 00:19:25,759 --> 00:19:27,261 What about your girlfriend? 233 00:19:30,264 --> 00:19:31,473 Okay. 234 00:19:31,640 --> 00:19:34,643 We can figure this out. You just need a girl. 235 00:19:35,060 --> 00:19:37,063 What kind of girl? 236 00:19:38,565 --> 00:19:40,275 Definitely someone cute. 237 00:19:40,775 --> 00:19:42,444 Definitely. 238 00:19:43,445 --> 00:19:45,947 Someone who can make him laugh. 239 00:19:48,450 --> 00:19:50,660 But he also needs someone who's gonna push him. 240 00:19:52,162 --> 00:19:54,039 Someone who's gonna make him do... 241 00:19:54,164 --> 00:19:56,041 ...things he never thought he could do. 242 00:19:56,875 --> 00:19:59,753 Like stripping in the middle of the street? 243 00:20:22,443 --> 00:20:25,446 - Well, thanks for the ride. - No problem. 244 00:20:33,371 --> 00:20:35,164 Well... 245 00:20:36,374 --> 00:20:37,958 ...good night. 246 00:20:38,167 --> 00:20:39,543 Good night. 247 00:20:44,757 --> 00:20:45,758 "Good night"? What are you, gay? 248 00:20:47,968 --> 00:20:50,971 - I would have nailed her. - Ok, you wouldn't have nailed her. 249 00:20:51,138 --> 00:20:53,474 - Whatever, dude. - And, you know, secondly... 250 00:20:53,641 --> 00:20:56,352 ...you know, the vibe was not right. 251 00:20:56,560 --> 00:20:59,856 The vibe wasn't right? She comes to your house and makes you strip. 252 00:21:00,065 --> 00:21:02,567 What does she have to do, sit on your face? 253 00:21:03,568 --> 00:21:05,153 Come on, bitch. 254 00:21:05,862 --> 00:21:09,074 - Damn. Should have kissed her. - Are you okay? Dude? 255 00:21:10,367 --> 00:21:12,953 All right, you all have this graph, correct? 256 00:21:13,161 --> 00:21:15,539 Good. Let's move along then. 257 00:21:15,872 --> 00:21:17,541 Now, it's a very simple equation here. 258 00:21:17,666 --> 00:21:19,960 Somebody give me the answer to this. 259 00:21:22,879 --> 00:21:25,257 All right, if no one knows the answer to this... 260 00:21:26,758 --> 00:21:29,678 Looking at this calculation, what does this make us think of? 261 00:21:34,850 --> 00:21:36,643 Questions on this? 262 00:22:03,171 --> 00:22:07,050 Good news, ladies and gentlemen. Pop-quiz time. 263 00:22:51,261 --> 00:22:54,348 That's Samnang Sok. He's this complete genius. 264 00:22:54,556 --> 00:22:56,558 So we raised all this money for him... 265 00:22:56,642 --> 00:22:58,769 ...to come here and study at our school. 266 00:22:58,977 --> 00:23:02,148 - Who's "we"? - Well, I mean, I did... 267 00:23:02,357 --> 00:23:04,859 ...but he could be the next Einstein, you know. 268 00:23:05,568 --> 00:23:07,570 You know, he could cure cancer. 269 00:23:15,954 --> 00:23:17,747 Let's go. 270 00:23:22,252 --> 00:23:24,254 So, what do you wanna do? 271 00:23:27,465 --> 00:23:28,758 What? 272 00:23:31,761 --> 00:23:33,179 I'm not stripping again. 273 00:23:34,055 --> 00:23:35,765 Come on. 274 00:23:50,156 --> 00:23:51,866 Danielle! 275 00:23:53,284 --> 00:23:54,869 Come on. Where are you going? 276 00:24:08,758 --> 00:24:10,760 Hey, come on, let's get out of here. 277 00:24:11,469 --> 00:24:13,679 How do you know no one's home? 278 00:24:13,846 --> 00:24:15,473 - I don't. - Come on. 279 00:24:15,681 --> 00:24:17,183 Seriously, this is nuts. 280 00:24:28,653 --> 00:24:30,155 Oh, boxers. 281 00:24:30,655 --> 00:24:35,160 I always wear boxers. You just caught me on a weird day. 282 00:24:46,880 --> 00:24:50,550 So, what's the craziest thing you've done lately? 283 00:24:53,679 --> 00:24:55,055 This is right up there. 284 00:25:08,069 --> 00:25:10,071 Oh, my God. 285 00:25:12,865 --> 00:25:14,659 - That's Mr. Salinger. - Who? 286 00:25:14,867 --> 00:25:16,869 That's my principal. Seriously, let's go. 287 00:25:18,663 --> 00:25:21,165 - It's not funny. - It's a little funny. 288 00:25:23,876 --> 00:25:25,670 Hey. 289 00:25:28,047 --> 00:25:30,049 Just go with it. 290 00:25:50,446 --> 00:25:53,365 Dude, I'm kind of uncomfortable watching this with you. 291 00:25:53,574 --> 00:25:56,076 Dude, learn to like it. 292 00:26:01,373 --> 00:26:03,083 I'm all wet. Can I come in? 293 00:26:09,965 --> 00:26:13,052 Hey, guys. This is Danielle. 294 00:26:13,385 --> 00:26:16,472 You must be Eli. And Klitz. Right. 295 00:26:16,680 --> 00:26:18,557 Hey, come on, we're all going out. 296 00:26:18,766 --> 00:26:23,479 - Can I use your bathroom first? - Oh, it's over here to the left. 297 00:26:29,569 --> 00:26:32,280 - Dude. - I know. 298 00:26:32,447 --> 00:26:34,282 Dude. 299 00:26:34,449 --> 00:26:35,784 I know. 300 00:26:51,383 --> 00:26:53,468 - Dude, what are we doing here? - Yeah, I know. 301 00:26:53,676 --> 00:26:55,053 Guys, seriously, it's gonna get... 302 00:26:55,178 --> 00:26:56,971 ...broken up, like, any second now, right? 303 00:26:58,848 --> 00:27:00,183 Guys? 304 00:27:12,780 --> 00:27:14,865 - Get the fuck out of here! - Sorry. 305 00:27:27,461 --> 00:27:29,171 Go. 306 00:27:29,964 --> 00:27:32,883 - So, what do you wanna do? - Let's just chill. 307 00:27:33,050 --> 00:27:34,760 Hi, guys. 308 00:27:36,887 --> 00:27:39,849 - Is this your party? - No, it's a friend of mine's. 309 00:27:40,266 --> 00:27:42,476 - I'm Hunter. - Danielle. 310 00:27:42,685 --> 00:27:44,478 This is Matthew. 311 00:27:44,687 --> 00:27:46,981 - Hey, Matt, what's up? - What's up? 312 00:27:47,565 --> 00:27:49,151 Can I get you something to drink? 313 00:27:49,776 --> 00:27:51,069 - Yeah. - Hey, man, what's up? 314 00:27:51,278 --> 00:27:53,071 - Can you come here for a second? - Yeah. 315 00:27:53,280 --> 00:27:55,365 No, it's cool. They're pals. 316 00:27:56,283 --> 00:27:57,576 What's up? 317 00:27:57,784 --> 00:28:00,370 Yeah, man, this party's getting kind of full, bro. 318 00:28:00,579 --> 00:28:03,957 - Yeah, so? - So you're gonna have to take off. 319 00:28:04,166 --> 00:28:06,585 - Really? - Yeah. 320 00:28:08,378 --> 00:28:11,173 Okay, but I'm with her. I mean- 321 00:28:11,381 --> 00:28:13,383 Oh, it's cool, dude. She's taken care of. 322 00:28:17,679 --> 00:28:19,389 There's the door. 323 00:28:43,873 --> 00:28:45,666 Yo, man! 324 00:28:45,875 --> 00:28:48,252 When's Samsung getting here? 325 00:28:48,461 --> 00:28:51,089 - Samnang. - Yeah! 326 00:28:51,756 --> 00:28:53,174 I love him. 327 00:28:53,383 --> 00:28:57,553 Dude, I'm gonna do that little guy when he gets here. 328 00:28:57,762 --> 00:28:59,555 Hard. 329 00:29:00,973 --> 00:29:03,184 Cool, dude. I'm sure he'll like that. 330 00:29:03,351 --> 00:29:05,561 Sam Young! 331 00:29:09,482 --> 00:29:11,067 Excuse me. 332 00:29:26,875 --> 00:29:29,753 - Dude. - I know. 333 00:30:08,668 --> 00:30:11,588 - What? - You're coming with me. Right now. 334 00:30:12,964 --> 00:30:15,467 Everybody out. Let's move. 335 00:30:19,554 --> 00:30:24,392 I said out, minions! Move! Move! Faster, you little maggots. 336 00:30:26,853 --> 00:30:29,856 - So how's everything going? - Fine. 337 00:30:30,065 --> 00:30:32,692 Is everything, you know, okay at home? 338 00:30:32,859 --> 00:30:34,653 All right, what? 339 00:30:35,154 --> 00:30:36,989 Perhaps you should have a seat. 340 00:30:37,156 --> 00:30:39,658 Perhaps you should bite me. 341 00:30:40,159 --> 00:30:41,869 Perhaps. 342 00:30:44,872 --> 00:30:46,374 Matthew... 343 00:30:46,582 --> 00:30:49,585 ...we live in a crazy, mixed-up world. 344 00:30:49,794 --> 00:30:53,172 Crazy, but, oh, so beautiful. 345 00:31:11,273 --> 00:31:13,359 Excellent, grasshopper. 346 00:31:13,567 --> 00:31:17,155 And now for the final task of your training. 347 00:31:21,493 --> 00:31:24,371 You're gonna need a harder piece of wood than that, cowboy. 348 00:31:25,789 --> 00:31:28,583 - That's not her. - Yeah, it is. 349 00:31:37,759 --> 00:31:40,387 - Oh, no. - Oh, yeah. 350 00:31:49,855 --> 00:31:52,774 Matt! Matt! Dude, you're missing the best part. 351 00:31:55,360 --> 00:31:56,988 Fuck! Fuck! 352 00:31:59,157 --> 00:32:00,783 Settle down, tiger. I know. I know. 353 00:32:00,992 --> 00:32:03,077 It's not funny. Seriously, get away from me. 354 00:32:03,286 --> 00:32:05,663 - Dude, don't mess this up. - Mess what up? 355 00:32:05,872 --> 00:32:07,457 Matt, she's a porn star, okay? 356 00:32:07,790 --> 00:32:10,460 Take her to a motel room and bang her like a beast. 357 00:32:10,793 --> 00:32:12,462 Eli, I like this girl. 358 00:32:12,670 --> 00:32:15,465 And you can still like her with your penis inside her. 359 00:32:16,090 --> 00:32:18,259 I'm telling you, you're gonna regret this. 360 00:32:18,468 --> 00:32:20,678 What would JFK do? You know he'd tap that ass. 361 00:32:20,887 --> 00:32:22,889 Eli, I'm never gonna see her again. 362 00:32:23,056 --> 00:32:24,265 Oh, you know what? Fine. 363 00:32:24,474 --> 00:32:25,892 - Fine. - Fine! 364 00:32:26,684 --> 00:32:27,894 Goddamn it, Matt. 365 00:32:27,977 --> 00:32:31,064 I swear to God, if you don't fuck her, I'll kill myself! 366 00:32:31,272 --> 00:32:37,195 Matt, please. Please, Matt. Fuck her for me. For me! 367 00:32:49,166 --> 00:32:51,668 - Oh, Marci, you're so funny. - Oh, thanks. 368 00:32:54,797 --> 00:32:57,257 - I just saw you naked. - What? 369 00:32:57,591 --> 00:32:59,968 Don't worry, honey, you were only 2 days old. 370 00:33:00,260 --> 00:33:02,388 - Let's see what else we have. - Why are you here? 371 00:33:02,596 --> 00:33:03,972 I just came here to say hi. 372 00:33:04,973 --> 00:33:06,558 Hi. 373 00:33:06,767 --> 00:33:08,268 Look at this one of him. 374 00:33:17,069 --> 00:33:18,697 Hey, buddy. 375 00:33:19,280 --> 00:33:22,158 - That one's the best. - It is. He looks so adorable. 376 00:33:22,367 --> 00:33:24,494 He looks really- Oh, that's such a good one. 377 00:33:24,661 --> 00:33:27,372 - Here you go, Danielle. - Oh, thanks. 378 00:33:35,296 --> 00:33:37,590 - Thattagirl. - This is a cute one. 379 00:33:37,757 --> 00:33:39,592 Oh, who's your daddy? 380 00:33:40,093 --> 00:33:43,263 So you were going to school in Los Angeles? 381 00:33:43,471 --> 00:33:46,266 For a while. But then I started working on other things. 382 00:33:46,474 --> 00:33:48,685 Oh, what kind of things? 383 00:33:50,895 --> 00:33:52,188 Let me show you. 384 00:34:01,490 --> 00:34:02,783 Jesus! 385 00:34:07,371 --> 00:34:09,790 - Are you okay? - Yeah, I don't know, I... 386 00:34:10,458 --> 00:34:12,084 I don't feel so good. 387 00:34:16,797 --> 00:34:19,258 What can I do to make you feel better? 388 00:34:34,273 --> 00:34:36,067 I think I'm feeling a lot better now. 389 00:34:36,275 --> 00:34:39,278 - We can go out another night. - No, we're going out tonight. 390 00:34:39,779 --> 00:34:42,199 - You sure? - Positive. 391 00:34:46,161 --> 00:34:48,997 - I don't know if I can do this. - Yes, you can. 392 00:34:49,164 --> 00:34:51,958 But tonight, be the man. 393 00:34:52,584 --> 00:34:55,670 First off, act like you don't even like her. 394 00:34:55,879 --> 00:34:58,465 - Hey. - Hey. 395 00:34:58,673 --> 00:35:03,261 Second, get her drunk. Really drunk, okay? 396 00:35:03,595 --> 00:35:06,098 That way the true porn star will come out in her. 397 00:35:09,476 --> 00:35:12,896 Here, I... I got us something. 398 00:35:15,982 --> 00:35:17,984 Bourbon? 399 00:35:18,193 --> 00:35:21,488 - Are you trying to get me drunk? - No, what? 400 00:35:21,697 --> 00:35:25,576 - I thought you like to rock. - "Like to rock?" 401 00:35:26,160 --> 00:35:28,663 Last and most important... 402 00:35:28,996 --> 00:35:31,165 ...always be touching her, Matt. 403 00:35:31,374 --> 00:35:33,960 That tells her you came here to get down tonight. 404 00:35:37,797 --> 00:35:39,799 What are we doing? 405 00:35:40,967 --> 00:35:42,885 Just chilling. 406 00:35:46,973 --> 00:35:48,891 Hey, look. 407 00:35:49,392 --> 00:35:50,685 MOTEL Glen Capri 408 00:35:53,479 --> 00:35:59,193 Maybe we should get a room. 409 00:36:00,194 --> 00:36:01,696 Okay. 410 00:36:08,662 --> 00:36:10,664 Here it is. 411 00:36:29,683 --> 00:36:32,561 This is- This is really nice. 412 00:36:32,978 --> 00:36:34,897 TV. 413 00:36:35,397 --> 00:36:36,774 Air conditioner. 414 00:36:37,691 --> 00:36:39,902 Got a little lamp there. 415 00:36:40,778 --> 00:36:42,863 Is that Monet? 416 00:36:46,868 --> 00:36:48,578 What? 417 00:36:49,079 --> 00:36:52,290 - What are you thinking? - What are you thinking? 418 00:36:55,293 --> 00:36:56,586 I don't know. 419 00:37:06,888 --> 00:37:08,473 Do you wanna fuck me? 420 00:37:16,064 --> 00:37:18,191 Come here. 421 00:37:35,501 --> 00:37:37,086 How do you want me? 422 00:37:38,796 --> 00:37:40,297 Why are you doing this? 423 00:37:41,465 --> 00:37:43,175 What? 424 00:37:43,801 --> 00:37:45,469 This. 425 00:37:47,263 --> 00:37:49,765 Isn't this what you want? 426 00:37:50,182 --> 00:37:53,185 To fuck a porn star in a cheap motel room? 427 00:37:58,190 --> 00:38:00,776 So this is what you think of me. 428 00:38:03,195 --> 00:38:05,197 - Danielle, wait. I'm sorry. - Let me guess. 429 00:38:05,364 --> 00:38:06,992 You saw a tape, and you thought: 430 00:38:07,200 --> 00:38:09,494 "What the hell? She does it for a living, right?" 431 00:38:09,703 --> 00:38:12,998 - Eli told me to do it. - Oh, now that's a mature response. 432 00:38:13,165 --> 00:38:16,376 - Why didn't you just tell me? - Because I didn't want to, okay? 433 00:38:19,379 --> 00:38:22,174 Because I loved the way you looked at me. 434 00:38:23,675 --> 00:38:26,970 God, do you have any idea how-? 435 00:38:28,388 --> 00:38:29,890 Forget it. 436 00:38:30,182 --> 00:38:33,602 - Hold on. - Fuck you. 437 00:38:47,867 --> 00:38:49,869 ONLY 9 DAYS LEFT! SAMNANG 438 00:38:54,999 --> 00:38:56,667 You're done. 439 00:39:02,882 --> 00:39:04,175 WHY DO I DESERVE THIS SCHOLARSHIP? 440 00:39:20,983 --> 00:39:26,572 Look, I'm an idiot, okay? I saw the tape, and I freaked out. 441 00:39:26,781 --> 00:39:29,576 Hi. I'm coming in. Can I come in? 442 00:39:30,994 --> 00:39:32,996 Look, I've just been crazy lately. 443 00:39:33,205 --> 00:39:36,583 I mean, the whole scholarship thing, you know, I mean... 444 00:39:36,792 --> 00:39:38,377 It's killing me, you know? 445 00:39:38,669 --> 00:39:41,380 But I'm not even thinking about that. 446 00:39:41,672 --> 00:39:45,968 The only thing I care about is you, you know? 447 00:39:46,176 --> 00:39:48,804 All I want is just for us to go back to normal again. 448 00:39:48,971 --> 00:39:52,099 It's a real nice place you got here, D. 449 00:39:53,183 --> 00:39:55,102 I... 450 00:40:07,406 --> 00:40:08,866 Can we... 451 00:40:09,700 --> 00:40:12,370 ...talk about this later? - Yeah. 452 00:40:14,873 --> 00:40:16,291 Sure. 453 00:40:33,183 --> 00:40:34,476 I like that. 454 00:40:35,268 --> 00:40:38,188 - What? - What you said in there. 455 00:40:38,688 --> 00:40:39,981 Thanks. 456 00:40:45,403 --> 00:40:46,780 Kelly. 457 00:40:47,781 --> 00:40:49,407 Matthew. 458 00:40:54,372 --> 00:40:56,707 - So you're friends with D, huh? - Yeah. 459 00:40:57,208 --> 00:41:01,003 Well, we're- We're kind of going out. 460 00:41:03,672 --> 00:41:08,386 Look at you. You are a forest fire. 461 00:41:09,178 --> 00:41:10,805 - Are we going? - Yeah. 462 00:41:11,389 --> 00:41:12,681 You coming with us? 463 00:41:12,890 --> 00:41:15,476 - Where are you going? - Can't. He's got school tomorrow. 464 00:41:15,976 --> 00:41:17,978 No, no, I'm cool. Like, where are we going? 465 00:41:46,091 --> 00:41:48,009 Hey, there. What can I get for you? 466 00:41:48,093 --> 00:41:50,095 We'll get two Scotch rocks and... 467 00:41:50,303 --> 00:41:53,974 Make it three. Actually, I'll have a Long Island iced tea. 468 00:41:57,602 --> 00:41:59,104 So, what grade are you in, man? 469 00:41:59,187 --> 00:42:01,982 I'm a senior. But I'm about to graduate. 470 00:42:02,190 --> 00:42:04,401 Congratulations. What's next? 471 00:42:04,776 --> 00:42:06,194 Georgetown, hopefully. 472 00:42:06,778 --> 00:42:09,281 - Matthew wants to be president. - Really? 473 00:42:09,573 --> 00:42:11,074 - That's great, man. - Yeah. 474 00:42:11,283 --> 00:42:13,285 How do you two know each other? 475 00:42:13,870 --> 00:42:16,289 How do we know each other? 476 00:42:16,873 --> 00:42:20,710 - We used to work together. - So you're, like, an actor? 477 00:42:21,711 --> 00:42:24,297 No. Strictly producer. 478 00:42:24,505 --> 00:42:28,384 But D and I also used to go out. Excuse me a sec. 479 00:42:30,303 --> 00:42:31,596 So you guys went out? 480 00:42:33,890 --> 00:42:35,391 Thank you. 481 00:42:35,600 --> 00:42:37,602 Look, can we just talk? 482 00:42:38,394 --> 00:42:39,687 Talk. 483 00:42:41,189 --> 00:42:43,274 I don't know if this is really the place. 484 00:42:43,483 --> 00:42:48,071 - Why? What's wrong with it? - No, nothing. It's fine, you know. 485 00:42:48,279 --> 00:42:50,281 It's one of my favorites. 486 00:42:55,204 --> 00:42:57,498 Hey, you got one for me? 487 00:43:06,507 --> 00:43:08,175 - What are you doing? - What? 488 00:43:08,384 --> 00:43:09,885 Here. 489 00:43:11,512 --> 00:43:13,680 And you turn it like so: 490 00:43:20,270 --> 00:43:24,483 - Hey, where are you going? - The bathroom. Is that okay? 491 00:43:24,775 --> 00:43:26,485 Yeah. 492 00:43:29,780 --> 00:43:32,199 So you're really into her, huh? 493 00:43:32,408 --> 00:43:36,496 Hey. I get it, man, believe me. She's gorgeous. 494 00:43:36,996 --> 00:43:39,290 I just think you'd want someone more your age. 495 00:43:39,791 --> 00:43:44,295 - She's my age. - Yeah, I meant experience-wise. 496 00:43:44,504 --> 00:43:46,172 No offense. 497 00:43:47,382 --> 00:43:50,009 Don't worry about it. I'm gonna take care of you. 498 00:43:51,886 --> 00:43:54,305 Oh, my God. That's Mr. Peterson. 499 00:43:54,472 --> 00:43:55,647 That's my dad's friend. 500 00:43:55,682 --> 00:43:57,809 He comes over all the time with his wife. 501 00:43:58,393 --> 00:43:59,602 Really? 502 00:43:59,978 --> 00:44:00,812 Hey, Peterson. 503 00:44:00,895 --> 00:44:04,190 What? Dude, what are you doing, man? 504 00:44:04,399 --> 00:44:06,901 Yeah, you. Get over here. 505 00:44:07,277 --> 00:44:11,406 Goddamn, Peterson, haven't seen your black ass in ages. 506 00:44:11,573 --> 00:44:14,701 - Do I know you? - What the fuck's your problem? 507 00:44:14,993 --> 00:44:18,414 - I... - Just fucking with you, man. 508 00:44:19,206 --> 00:44:22,084 Hey, you know my friend Matty here, right? 509 00:44:26,714 --> 00:44:31,385 - Matthew. Hi. - Peterson, this is Matty's first time. 510 00:44:31,594 --> 00:44:34,597 Why don't you buy him a dance. 511 00:44:40,186 --> 00:44:43,397 So did you hear about that scholarship yet? 512 00:44:45,483 --> 00:44:47,485 No, big dinner's on Thursday. 513 00:44:51,614 --> 00:44:55,785 So, what's it for again? 514 00:44:55,993 --> 00:44:58,079 The scholarship. 515 00:44:59,289 --> 00:45:01,291 It's for... 516 00:45:01,500 --> 00:45:03,585 ...moral fiber. 517 00:45:06,380 --> 00:45:09,299 Me? A Teenage Daddy? 518 00:45:09,508 --> 00:45:12,010 Who is this guy? Is he a porn producer? 519 00:45:12,094 --> 00:45:14,179 Klitz, shut up. Now, the strippers. 520 00:45:14,388 --> 00:45:17,682 When you get a lap dance, were they cool with you grabbing their ass? 521 00:45:17,891 --> 00:45:19,976 Dude. I'm trying to talk about Danielle here. 522 00:45:20,185 --> 00:45:22,813 Fine. Selfish bitch. 523 00:45:22,979 --> 00:45:26,900 For teenagers, sexual intercourse can be dangerous. 524 00:45:27,109 --> 00:45:28,693 Jesus, what hack made this? 525 00:45:28,985 --> 00:45:31,780 I could make a better sex-ed film with my mom. 526 00:45:31,988 --> 00:45:33,782 Why don't they update this thing? 527 00:45:34,074 --> 00:45:36,284 Special events, such as your senior prom... 528 00:45:36,493 --> 00:45:39,580 ...place added pressure on young teens to lose their virginity... 529 00:45:39,914 --> 00:45:42,291 ...and also engage in unprotected sex. 530 00:45:42,583 --> 00:45:44,293 9 months later... 531 00:45:45,878 --> 00:45:47,714 - Hello? - Hey, Bob. 532 00:45:47,880 --> 00:45:49,090 We're all going to the creek tonight. 533 00:45:49,215 --> 00:45:52,093 It's gonna be a gas. You're coming, right? 534 00:45:52,176 --> 00:45:54,303 I can't, guys. 535 00:45:55,304 --> 00:45:58,391 I have a baby now. 536 00:45:59,809 --> 00:46:02,103 Because of prom. 537 00:46:02,478 --> 00:46:04,105 Dude. 538 00:46:05,815 --> 00:46:09,110 - What? - Yeah, right. 539 00:46:09,610 --> 00:46:13,698 - You guys ever thought about it? - No. 540 00:46:15,408 --> 00:46:17,285 I just think you guys would be really hot. 541 00:46:17,577 --> 00:46:19,287 - You girls are 18, right? - I am. 542 00:46:19,495 --> 00:46:21,498 - I will be in a month. - Really? 543 00:46:21,790 --> 00:46:24,084 - You ever been photographed? - A couple of times. 544 00:46:24,293 --> 00:46:26,712 Hey, you guys know Matty? 545 00:46:26,879 --> 00:46:29,798 I hung with him last night. Guy's the tits. 546 00:46:30,299 --> 00:46:32,593 Here's my man. 547 00:46:33,177 --> 00:46:36,180 - How you doing? - What's up, fellas? 548 00:46:39,099 --> 00:46:41,977 Matty, you didn't tell me you got some serious burners... 549 00:46:42,102 --> 00:46:43,187 ...at your school here. 550 00:46:43,395 --> 00:46:45,189 Oh, shut up. You did not say that 551 00:46:45,481 --> 00:46:48,192 Hey, you know who's got the killer bud? 552 00:46:50,194 --> 00:46:52,696 This fucker right here. 553 00:46:54,198 --> 00:46:56,492 - What are you talking about? - Yeah, come on. 554 00:46:56,700 --> 00:46:58,494 Yeah, you have some? 555 00:46:58,702 --> 00:47:00,204 Yeah, come on. 556 00:47:00,579 --> 00:47:03,208 - Holy shit. - You guys should party. 557 00:47:03,416 --> 00:47:05,502 - Can I-? - All right, we're out. 558 00:47:05,794 --> 00:47:07,879 - Hold on a sec. - Where are you guys going? 559 00:47:08,088 --> 00:47:10,215 - We got things to do. - Do you wanna hang out? 560 00:47:10,382 --> 00:47:14,177 - Hop in, fellas. - Aren't you gonna photograph us? 561 00:47:17,097 --> 00:47:18,890 Always leave them wanting more. 562 00:47:19,099 --> 00:47:20,892 Punch it! 563 00:47:36,616 --> 00:47:39,911 Man, there is some talent here. 564 00:47:40,578 --> 00:47:43,499 You get those girls together with those ass-bags there... 565 00:47:43,708 --> 00:47:46,001 ...shoot them humping at, like, a football... 566 00:47:46,085 --> 00:47:48,504 ...game or at a prom, that video would sell. 567 00:47:48,713 --> 00:47:50,715 Fuck, I'm good! 568 00:47:51,006 --> 00:47:55,094 How do I get these ideas? It's like a gift, you know? 569 00:47:55,302 --> 00:47:56,804 It's like I can't control it. 570 00:48:00,808 --> 00:48:04,395 So, what are we doing, man? 571 00:48:08,315 --> 00:48:10,609 You know, you really didn't have to come with me. 572 00:48:10,818 --> 00:48:14,488 It's cool. I like running errands. 573 00:48:15,781 --> 00:48:19,118 So you raised 25 G's just to bring this Chinese guy over. 574 00:48:19,285 --> 00:48:21,495 No, he's Cambodian. 575 00:48:21,787 --> 00:48:25,292 Okay, so that's 25,000 total deposited... 576 00:48:25,500 --> 00:48:28,086 ...into the Operation Get Samnang account. 577 00:48:28,503 --> 00:48:30,797 Hey, so you raised all the money you needed. 578 00:48:31,006 --> 00:48:32,591 - Congratulations. - Thanks. 579 00:48:32,799 --> 00:48:35,010 So is this Samnang really as smart as they say? 580 00:48:35,218 --> 00:48:38,013 Well, he did teach himself calculus without even using... 581 00:48:38,096 --> 00:48:39,598 ...his textbooks, so... 582 00:48:39,806 --> 00:48:43,685 Those crazy little fuckers, man. They sure know their numbers. 583 00:48:46,313 --> 00:48:49,900 Jeannie, this is my- This is my student advisor. 584 00:48:51,068 --> 00:48:52,868 Oh, you're Mr. Salinger? 585 00:48:52,903 --> 00:48:56,281 Just here to make sure everything's up to par. Wow. 586 00:48:56,615 --> 00:48:59,493 - What? - I love those earrings. 587 00:48:59,701 --> 00:48:59,993 Oh, thank you. 588 00:48:59,998 --> 00:49:02,700 They really complement your coloring. 589 00:49:02,704 --> 00:49:04,581 Thanks. I just got back from Cabo. 590 00:49:04,915 --> 00:49:06,292 - Did you? - Yeah. 591 00:49:06,501 --> 00:49:09,295 Okay, well, we gotta go. Thanks, Jeannie. 592 00:49:10,588 --> 00:49:12,715 Man, what were you doing-? 593 00:49:12,882 --> 00:49:15,009 There's a bar, you sit with the people. 594 00:49:15,093 --> 00:49:16,010 You have been there. 595 00:49:16,219 --> 00:49:18,304 - See? I knew it. - No, no. 596 00:49:18,513 --> 00:49:21,599 - This guy is unbelievable. - You. 597 00:49:30,983 --> 00:49:33,611 - Where you guys going? - Vegas, baby. 598 00:49:33,903 --> 00:49:38,783 We got the convention. Gotta press the flesh, meet the fans. 599 00:49:38,991 --> 00:49:41,911 So that's it? You're just going back? 600 00:49:42,120 --> 00:49:44,080 I don't belong here. 601 00:49:44,288 --> 00:49:47,918 What do you-? What do you mean? What about starting over? 602 00:49:48,502 --> 00:49:49,920 This is what I am. 603 00:49:53,507 --> 00:49:56,301 All right, D, let's roll. 604 00:50:14,194 --> 00:50:17,781 - Dude, it's not your fault. - No, it is my fault. 605 00:50:18,282 --> 00:50:21,410 If I hadn't been such a dick and taken her to that motel room... 606 00:50:21,618 --> 00:50:23,996 Yeah, it was a little forward, don't you think? 607 00:50:25,122 --> 00:50:26,582 - Dude. - What? 608 00:50:26,915 --> 00:50:29,502 Matt, the point is, she made her decision. 609 00:50:30,003 --> 00:50:32,422 There's nothing you can do about it now. 610 00:50:37,594 --> 00:50:39,095 Yeah, there is. 611 00:50:46,519 --> 00:50:47,812 - Hey, Dad? - Don't wait up. 612 00:50:48,021 --> 00:50:50,315 - I'll be late tonight. - I'll watch it tomorrow. 613 00:50:50,482 --> 00:50:53,693 - Shark Week is all week long. - God, I just wanna bang hot chicks. 614 00:51:05,914 --> 00:51:12,004 LAS VEGAS WELCOMES THE ADULT FILM CONVENTION 615 00:51:41,992 --> 00:51:44,787 - Move it. - Sorry. 616 00:51:45,788 --> 00:51:46,997 Big smile. 617 00:51:49,208 --> 00:51:51,086 - Sasha! - Sasha! 618 00:51:57,718 --> 00:52:00,721 - Yo, man, no press. - No, no. No, I'm not press. 619 00:52:01,096 --> 00:52:02,597 I'm still in high school, okay? 620 00:52:02,723 --> 00:52:04,599 This is for my high school video yearbook. 621 00:52:04,808 --> 00:52:06,101 I swear to God. 622 00:52:09,688 --> 00:52:11,106 That's right, bitch. 623 00:52:17,487 --> 00:52:18,989 Jesus, is that her? 624 00:52:19,322 --> 00:52:20,490 Athena. 625 00:52:41,095 --> 00:52:43,014 Give me a second, guys. 626 00:52:43,306 --> 00:52:44,891 - Athena! - Athena! 627 00:52:45,099 --> 00:52:47,393 - Danielle. - Athena! Athena! 628 00:52:47,602 --> 00:52:49,687 - Danielle. - Come on! Athena, right here! 629 00:52:49,896 --> 00:52:53,316 - Work it, Athena. - You are so hot, Athena. 630 00:52:56,110 --> 00:53:00,406 - Look, I'm sorry. I had to come. - Asshole, I'm next. 631 00:53:01,324 --> 00:53:04,118 - I feel like this is all my fault. - Who is this guy? 632 00:53:04,994 --> 00:53:08,915 - Will you at least look at me? - Bend over. 633 00:53:09,123 --> 00:53:11,626 You're the best thing that ever happened to me, okay? 634 00:53:11,793 --> 00:53:13,712 - Me too! - Oh, Danielle. 635 00:53:13,921 --> 00:53:15,798 He's so sweet. 636 00:53:19,301 --> 00:53:20,803 Danielle. 637 00:53:21,095 --> 00:53:23,514 Nice job, dickwad. 638 00:53:23,806 --> 00:53:26,392 - Danielle. - Hey, man, get me out of this thing. 639 00:53:26,600 --> 00:53:28,227 - Take me with you, dude. - Danielle. 640 00:53:28,519 --> 00:53:31,021 Just leave me alone, please. 641 00:53:31,397 --> 00:53:33,399 Danielle. 642 00:53:34,900 --> 00:53:38,320 - Danielle, Danielle. - Hugo, hi. 643 00:53:38,487 --> 00:53:40,989 Look at you. You look fantastic. 644 00:53:44,118 --> 00:53:46,412 Just starting out, and everyone knows your name. 645 00:53:46,620 --> 00:53:48,122 No, they don't. 646 00:53:48,288 --> 00:53:50,708 - So how's Kelly treating you? - Okay. 647 00:53:50,916 --> 00:53:52,918 Just okay? 648 00:53:53,127 --> 00:53:55,296 Danielle, what do we know? 649 00:53:56,089 --> 00:53:59,926 What do we know? We know that you should be with me. 650 00:54:00,093 --> 00:54:04,097 At the top. Where the air is crisp. 651 00:54:04,305 --> 00:54:06,307 - Nice tan. - Kelly. 652 00:54:06,516 --> 00:54:09,394 - What do we say? - Fuck you. 653 00:54:10,812 --> 00:54:12,689 Always with the big words. 654 00:54:12,897 --> 00:54:16,609 Danielle, where the air is crisp. 655 00:54:18,528 --> 00:54:21,614 - What does that mean? - Nothing. He's just being Hugo. 656 00:54:22,198 --> 00:54:24,909 Matty. What are you doing here? 657 00:54:27,120 --> 00:54:30,206 Look, Kelly, no offense, but I really don't think Danielle... 658 00:54:30,415 --> 00:54:31,791 ...wants to be here right now. 659 00:54:36,505 --> 00:54:39,925 Matthew, please just go home, okay? 660 00:54:41,927 --> 00:54:43,721 Hey, D. 661 00:54:45,222 --> 00:54:48,726 I'm sorry, man. Come on. Let's get out of here. 662 00:54:52,897 --> 00:54:54,523 What's up? 663 00:54:55,608 --> 00:54:57,526 It's not cute anymore. 664 00:54:57,693 --> 00:54:59,904 - What? - Stop filling her head with that- 665 00:55:00,112 --> 00:55:03,616 - Do not piss me off. - Hey, I thought we were friends. 666 00:55:05,117 --> 00:55:07,203 Friends don't fuck with each other's business. 667 00:55:07,411 --> 00:55:10,289 And that's what this is, my fucking business. 668 00:55:13,417 --> 00:55:14,794 What? 669 00:55:15,920 --> 00:55:18,090 What are you gonna do? 670 00:55:21,510 --> 00:55:26,390 Yeah, that's what I thought. Stay the fuck away from her. 671 00:55:30,310 --> 00:55:33,021 Matt, seriously, man, it's 2:00 in the morning. 672 00:55:33,230 --> 00:55:36,691 What about your thing tomorrow? Okay, the scholarship dinner? 673 00:55:37,317 --> 00:55:40,028 Sorry, I gotta do this. 674 00:55:45,617 --> 00:55:49,121 Oh, by the way, if things get bad, just bolt, okay? 675 00:55:49,329 --> 00:55:51,289 What? What do you mean, "if things get bad"? 676 00:55:51,498 --> 00:55:52,791 Just bolt. 677 00:55:53,625 --> 00:55:54,418 Wait, what's he talking about? 678 00:55:58,715 --> 00:56:01,008 You wanna get me a drink? No, I'm just kidding. 679 00:56:13,312 --> 00:56:14,605 Hi. 680 00:56:20,319 --> 00:56:21,696 Dude... 681 00:56:21,904 --> 00:56:23,531 ...am I ugly? 682 00:56:23,906 --> 00:56:28,327 What? No. No, man, you're fine. Just relax. 683 00:56:28,494 --> 00:56:30,329 No, I'm ugly. I know it. 684 00:56:32,498 --> 00:56:36,127 - So, what do you guys do? - I get freaky. 685 00:56:38,797 --> 00:56:41,425 - We're directors. - Really? 686 00:56:41,717 --> 00:56:44,720 Would you guys ever wanna use me in one of your movies? 687 00:56:46,096 --> 00:56:47,723 Hell, yeah, we'll use you. 688 00:56:47,931 --> 00:56:51,894 Baby, I'll do things to you I wouldn't do to a farm animal. 689 00:56:52,227 --> 00:56:55,898 - What the fuck did you just say? - Honey. These guys are directors. 690 00:56:56,106 --> 00:56:58,817 - And they wanna use me. - Use you? 691 00:56:59,026 --> 00:57:01,820 Guys, this is my boyfriend, Mule. 692 00:57:04,907 --> 00:57:06,325 Hi, Mule. 693 00:57:10,496 --> 00:57:11,914 Let's do it. 694 00:57:12,998 --> 00:57:16,293 Man, you gotta use my girl, bro. She's so good. 695 00:57:16,502 --> 00:57:18,212 I am. I really am. 696 00:57:18,712 --> 00:57:22,008 - You wanna give her a throw? - Yeah, try me out. 697 00:57:22,926 --> 00:57:25,011 No, you know, no, I'm okay, though, thank you. 698 00:57:25,303 --> 00:57:27,806 Well, come on. At least feel her tits. 699 00:57:28,932 --> 00:57:31,226 I'm okay. I can't. Thank you, though. 700 00:57:31,893 --> 00:57:34,813 Fuck it. I'll feel one. 701 00:57:45,907 --> 00:57:47,409 We're all set for tomorrow. 702 00:57:47,492 --> 00:57:51,413 Athena will be there, ready to shoot. Right, babe? 703 00:57:52,497 --> 00:57:56,710 Not bad, huh? Suckers cost me 6 grand. 704 00:57:56,918 --> 00:58:00,422 Yo, Mule, what the hell are you doing? 705 00:58:00,923 --> 00:58:05,594 Steel, check it out, man. These guys are directors. 706 00:58:05,928 --> 00:58:07,221 Man, these punks ain't directors. 707 00:58:07,304 --> 00:58:10,224 They're in high school, you idiot. 708 00:58:12,309 --> 00:58:14,395 Okay, here's the thing- 709 00:58:22,111 --> 00:58:24,405 Oh, shit! 710 00:58:27,324 --> 00:58:29,118 - Come on, Klitz, come on. - Get off. 711 00:58:38,919 --> 00:58:40,921 Matty, time to go, time to go. Time to go. 712 00:58:41,130 --> 00:58:43,216 - What happened? - It got bad. Bolt. Bolt! 713 00:58:43,633 --> 00:58:45,719 - Dude, wait up. - Fuck you, dude! 714 00:58:53,310 --> 00:58:54,311 Excuse me. 715 00:58:54,394 --> 00:58:57,606 I just wanna let you know, I know who you really are. 716 00:59:00,233 --> 00:59:02,903 And you're better than this. 717 00:59:40,024 --> 00:59:41,901 IT HAS ALWAYS BEEN MY DREAM... 718 00:59:43,027 --> 00:59:45,029 Yeah? 719 00:59:52,328 --> 00:59:53,704 Need a ride to school? 720 00:59:58,126 --> 01:00:01,796 It's all you now. I mean, now you can do whatever you want. 721 01:00:03,005 --> 01:00:04,800 Why do you believe in me so much? 722 01:00:05,718 --> 01:00:07,720 I don't know. Maybe I'm stupid. 723 01:00:12,516 --> 01:00:16,228 - Good luck tonight. - Thanks. 724 01:00:17,229 --> 01:00:19,606 - Bye. - Bye. 725 01:00:35,414 --> 01:00:36,999 Will you go to prom with me? 726 01:00:39,626 --> 01:00:41,128 What? 727 01:00:46,509 --> 01:00:48,803 I would love to. 728 01:00:52,223 --> 01:00:55,518 Now for the scientific explanation. Anybody? 729 01:00:55,727 --> 01:00:57,520 JOHN F. KENNEDY once said: ASK NOT... 730 01:00:59,898 --> 01:01:02,108 That's your speech? 731 01:01:02,901 --> 01:01:04,611 Yeah. 732 01:01:05,111 --> 01:01:07,197 You ready for tonight? 733 01:01:08,406 --> 01:01:10,617 Hey, don't worry, man. You're gonna be great. 734 01:01:11,117 --> 01:01:12,911 I have to be. 735 01:01:25,298 --> 01:01:27,134 That bitch can't just run away because... 736 01:01:27,218 --> 01:01:29,011 ...she don't wanna fuck on film anymore. 737 01:01:29,220 --> 01:01:30,930 May I help you? 738 01:01:32,807 --> 01:01:35,309 - Get up. - Okay, okay. 739 01:01:43,818 --> 01:01:46,028 Stay in school. 740 01:01:49,698 --> 01:01:52,535 Look, I have the most important dinner of my life tonight... 741 01:01:52,701 --> 01:01:54,203 ...so wherever we're going, you know... 742 01:01:54,328 --> 01:01:56,205 ...we just have to be home by 6. 743 01:01:56,414 --> 01:01:58,624 Just so you know. 744 01:02:00,418 --> 01:02:02,837 Here he comes. 745 01:02:04,839 --> 01:02:07,425 - It's a cool ride, huh? - Yeah, if you're a fag. 746 01:02:07,634 --> 01:02:10,721 - Jesus! - It's cool, it's cool. 747 01:02:11,304 --> 01:02:12,723 Get in. 748 01:02:24,901 --> 01:02:27,738 - Where are we going? - I thought you were cool, man. 749 01:02:27,904 --> 01:02:30,031 I tried to be your friend, and what do you do? 750 01:02:30,198 --> 01:02:31,908 - You fuck me. - I didn't fuck you. 751 01:02:32,117 --> 01:02:34,619 She didn't show up on set because of what you said. 752 01:02:34,828 --> 01:02:36,329 Now I'm out 30 grand. 753 01:02:37,706 --> 01:02:41,626 - Guess who's paying me back. - What? I don't have 30 grand. 754 01:02:41,835 --> 01:02:44,629 - Get your folks to help. - They don't have that kind of money. 755 01:02:44,838 --> 01:02:50,636 Look, Kelly, I'm a problem solver, all right? This is what I do. Okay? 756 01:02:50,803 --> 01:02:54,932 Let's just- Let's just think outside of the box here. 757 01:02:55,433 --> 01:02:57,602 Look, she'll get a job, I'll keep mowing... 758 01:02:57,727 --> 01:03:00,313 ...lawns, and over time we'll pay it down. 759 01:03:00,521 --> 01:03:03,232 You know? This can work. We can do this. 760 01:03:03,441 --> 01:03:05,818 It'll be like a payment plan. 761 01:03:13,409 --> 01:03:16,329 - You really care about her, huh? - Yeah, I really do. 762 01:03:16,537 --> 01:03:20,041 Yeah, I don't know. If I'm gonna do this payment-plan thing... 763 01:03:20,208 --> 01:03:22,502 ...I need a show of good faith, you know? 764 01:03:22,710 --> 01:03:26,214 - Something concrete. - Well, like what? 765 01:03:28,424 --> 01:03:29,717 A blowjob. 766 01:03:32,012 --> 01:03:34,306 No. I told you she's not gonna do that anymore. 767 01:03:35,224 --> 01:03:37,226 Who said anything about her? 768 01:03:40,938 --> 01:03:44,942 Yeah, we're definitely outside the box now, huh? 769 01:03:45,734 --> 01:03:50,239 Now, you gotta ask yourself, how far are you willing to go? 770 01:03:52,533 --> 01:03:55,119 How much do you really care about her? 771 01:04:00,332 --> 01:04:01,917 I'm joking, man. 772 01:04:04,628 --> 01:04:05,921 Relax. 773 01:04:07,631 --> 01:04:10,509 - Damn. Do I look gay to you? - No, but, Jesus- 774 01:04:18,810 --> 01:04:19,936 You wanna be president? 775 01:04:20,019 --> 01:04:22,439 Let me tell you the first rule of politics: 776 01:04:22,605 --> 01:04:26,901 Always know if the juice is worth the squeeze. 777 01:04:27,110 --> 01:04:30,113 You know what that means? It means you don't steal my girl... 778 01:04:30,321 --> 01:04:32,741 ...unless you're ready to accept the consequences. 779 01:04:38,538 --> 01:04:40,707 All right, I'm sorry, okay? 780 01:04:43,710 --> 01:04:46,629 That's gonna swell up like a bitch. Here, take this. 781 01:04:50,925 --> 01:04:53,304 I'm telling you, it's gonna hurt like shit. 782 01:04:59,518 --> 01:05:05,524 I'm sorry I got upset. I felt taken advantage of. 783 01:05:06,025 --> 01:05:09,528 Look, I'm not gonna be a dick. I know she loves you. 784 01:05:09,820 --> 01:05:12,031 I'm gonna leave you guys alone. 785 01:05:12,114 --> 01:05:14,325 But now you're doing something for me. 786 01:05:24,919 --> 01:05:27,505 Remember that ass-bag, Hugo, from the convention? 787 01:05:27,838 --> 01:05:30,007 We used to be partners a long time ago. 788 01:05:30,341 --> 01:05:33,219 One day, I had this killer idea to make films set... 789 01:05:33,344 --> 01:05:34,221 ...in real-life situations. 790 01:05:34,513 --> 01:05:37,516 You know, Real World porn. 791 01:05:37,808 --> 01:05:40,727 I told the idea to Hugo. He says he'll think about it. 792 01:05:40,936 --> 01:05:42,938 And what does that motherfucker do? 793 01:05:43,230 --> 01:05:46,733 Takes my best girl, starts his own company with my idea... 794 01:05:46,942 --> 01:05:49,319 ...and the guy makes millions. 795 01:05:49,528 --> 01:05:50,737 It's not the money that pisses me off. 796 01:05:50,821 --> 01:05:53,031 I mean, fuck, it does piss me off... 797 01:05:53,240 --> 01:05:55,242 ...but that's not it. It's the perception. 798 01:05:55,409 --> 01:05:58,245 Everybody thinks Hugo's the genius. It was my idea. 799 01:05:58,412 --> 01:06:02,207 It's like he's Simon, and I'm Garfunkel. 800 01:06:03,041 --> 01:06:07,337 Look at me, man. I'm fucking Garfunkel. 801 01:06:10,340 --> 01:06:15,430 - Look, seriously, I can't do this. - Don't be a pussy. Nobody's home. 802 01:06:20,435 --> 01:06:23,813 - Why do you want this thing so bad? - Because it should've been mine. 803 01:06:24,105 --> 01:06:26,441 - I'll grab it and leave. - You don't understand... 804 01:06:26,607 --> 01:06:28,526 ...I have to be at a dinner in an hour. 805 01:06:28,609 --> 01:06:30,528 My whole life depends on it. 806 01:06:30,737 --> 01:06:32,405 You want me out of Danielle's life? 807 01:06:32,530 --> 01:06:33,823 Yes, I do. 808 01:06:34,031 --> 01:06:36,534 - Then let's go. - But wait, seriously. 809 01:06:36,743 --> 01:06:38,828 Sometimes, if you wanna do something good... 810 01:06:39,036 --> 01:06:40,913 ...you gotta do something bad. 811 01:06:41,038 --> 01:06:43,416 Yeah, but this is breaking and entering. 812 01:06:43,624 --> 01:06:46,043 This is politics. 813 01:06:50,423 --> 01:06:51,841 Hey. 814 01:06:52,008 --> 01:06:54,844 After this, we're cool, okay? 815 01:06:57,014 --> 01:06:59,433 You're all right, man. 816 01:07:27,211 --> 01:07:28,921 Yes. 817 01:07:29,213 --> 01:07:30,923 I'd like to report a robbery. 818 01:07:40,308 --> 01:07:42,519 AVN BEST PICTURE 1999 "CHITTY CHITTY GANG BANG" 819 01:07:42,727 --> 01:07:44,020 HUGO POSH PRODUCER 820 01:07:45,021 --> 01:07:47,440 Bang me. 821 01:07:49,442 --> 01:07:51,111 Cradle the balls. 822 01:08:03,706 --> 01:08:06,334 Stop! Stop! Help me! 823 01:08:06,543 --> 01:08:09,129 Help! Oh, fuck! 824 01:08:13,716 --> 01:08:15,427 Wait! 825 01:08:15,635 --> 01:08:17,011 Come on! 826 01:08:36,031 --> 01:08:38,033 Okay, so what time does the dinner start? 827 01:08:38,242 --> 01:08:39,535 Six o'clock. 828 01:08:39,744 --> 01:08:42,621 - Why? What time is it now? - 6:30. 829 01:08:42,913 --> 01:08:45,207 - Oh, my God. - Dude, don't worry, all right? 830 01:08:45,416 --> 01:08:47,710 We'll get there. You know what? Try and- 831 01:08:47,918 --> 01:08:51,714 - Dude, what are you doing? - I don't know. I just... 832 01:08:52,715 --> 01:08:54,633 ...feel so good. 833 01:09:03,435 --> 01:09:05,437 Oh, my God. 834 01:09:07,022 --> 01:09:09,149 I just feel so weird. 835 01:09:09,316 --> 01:09:11,610 Don't worry. Ecstasy is not that bad. 836 01:09:11,943 --> 01:09:14,821 - What? - Kelly likes dosing people with E. 837 01:09:15,947 --> 01:09:18,450 Oh, my God. Am I gonna die? 838 01:09:18,617 --> 01:09:22,621 No, no, no. It's okay, Matt. You're gonna be fine. I promise. 839 01:09:22,913 --> 01:09:26,541 You're such a good friend, Klitzy. I love you. 840 01:09:26,833 --> 01:09:28,919 I love you so much. 841 01:09:30,337 --> 01:09:32,214 This is gonna be amazing. 842 01:09:33,632 --> 01:09:35,509 Wait a second. 843 01:09:35,717 --> 01:09:37,636 Oh, my God. 844 01:09:37,844 --> 01:09:39,846 WELCOME TO THE SHERIDAN SCHOLARSHIP BANQUET 845 01:09:42,350 --> 01:09:44,936 You don't understand. It's really kicking in right now. 846 01:09:45,144 --> 01:09:47,313 Just try not to talk so much, okay? 847 01:09:47,438 --> 01:09:49,315 Talk so much? I'm giving a speech. 848 01:09:49,524 --> 01:09:51,651 - It's okay. Just go with it. - Wait, wait. 849 01:09:51,818 --> 01:09:52,735 In a few minutes, we'll begin the speeches, and we hope... 850 01:10:02,912 --> 01:10:04,622 Thank you again for coming to what... 851 01:10:04,747 --> 01:10:07,625 ...promises to be a very eventful evening. 852 01:10:10,211 --> 01:10:11,838 Matthew Kidman? 853 01:10:16,134 --> 01:10:17,427 My competition. 854 01:10:17,635 --> 01:10:20,930 - Hey, what's up, Ryan? - Jesus, what happened to you? 855 01:10:21,139 --> 01:10:23,642 Just living life, my man. 856 01:10:23,851 --> 01:10:25,811 Mina, how are you? 857 01:10:26,019 --> 01:10:27,938 Okay. Just a little nervous. 858 01:10:28,147 --> 01:10:30,441 But you're a little temptress, though, aren't you? 859 01:10:37,823 --> 01:10:39,533 Hey, buddy. How you doing? 860 01:10:39,742 --> 01:10:42,745 Hey. Thanks a lot, thanks a lot. 861 01:11:06,936 --> 01:11:09,314 Hey, there's the big daddy. 862 01:11:09,522 --> 01:11:12,150 Matthew, what has been going on with you? 863 01:11:12,317 --> 01:11:14,027 Some serious shit. 864 01:11:14,319 --> 01:11:17,113 But, Jesus, man, it's good to see you. 865 01:11:17,447 --> 01:11:19,741 Will you excuse us, please? 866 01:11:21,451 --> 01:11:22,744 Oh, my God. Am I blowing it? 867 01:11:22,952 --> 01:11:24,746 Just try and control yourself. 868 01:11:24,913 --> 01:11:28,249 - Just breathe, okay? - All right. 869 01:11:33,129 --> 01:11:35,632 I have learned a lot from my teachers. 870 01:11:36,716 --> 01:11:40,136 But my best teacher has always been my mother... 871 01:11:40,345 --> 01:11:43,014 ...a woman who worked three jobs trying to support me... 872 01:11:43,223 --> 01:11:45,351 ...ever since I was a little ni�a. 873 01:11:45,643 --> 01:11:48,521 I will never forget the day she said to me: 874 01:11:51,816 --> 01:11:54,527 And that is why I have always tried to answer the call... 875 01:11:54,735 --> 01:11:56,445 ...of the great John F. Kennedy... 876 01:11:56,654 --> 01:12:00,241 ...who urged us to "Ask not what your country"- 877 01:12:09,834 --> 01:12:11,752 Let's see here... 878 01:12:11,919 --> 01:12:14,130 I can't speak a foreign language... 879 01:12:14,338 --> 01:12:15,631 ...so that's out. 880 01:12:15,923 --> 01:12:19,718 And I- I certainly can't quote J.F.K. Now... 881 01:12:19,927 --> 01:12:22,430 ...can I, Ryan? You know what? 882 01:12:22,721 --> 01:12:25,726 It's funny, I have this whole speech prepared... 883 01:12:25,934 --> 01:12:28,437 ...and I've been practicing for weeks... 884 01:12:28,729 --> 01:12:30,522 ...but you know what? 885 01:12:30,731 --> 01:12:32,232 I'm just gonna go with it. 886 01:12:35,318 --> 01:12:37,946 Moral fiber. 887 01:12:38,155 --> 01:12:40,741 So, what is moral fiber? I mean... 888 01:12:40,949 --> 01:12:44,327 It's funny, I used to think it was always telling the truth... 889 01:12:44,536 --> 01:12:46,121 ...doing good deeds. 890 01:12:46,329 --> 01:12:48,749 You know, basically being a fucking Boy Scout. 891 01:12:50,625 --> 01:12:52,919 But lately, I've been seeing it differently. 892 01:12:54,421 --> 01:12:56,339 Now I think that moral fiber's about... 893 01:12:56,548 --> 01:12:58,842 ...finding that one thing you really care about. 894 01:13:00,051 --> 01:13:01,553 That one special thing that means more... 895 01:13:01,636 --> 01:13:04,014 ...to you than anything else in the world. 896 01:13:05,849 --> 01:13:07,143 And when you find her... 897 01:13:08,436 --> 01:13:11,647 ...you fight for her. You risk it all. 898 01:13:12,196 --> 01:13:12,196 ...your future, your life... 899 01:13:12,231 --> 01:13:16,027 You put her in front of everything... 900 01:13:16,235 --> 01:13:17,820 ...all of it. 901 01:13:18,738 --> 01:13:22,450 And maybe the stuff you do to help her isn't so clean. 902 01:13:23,117 --> 01:13:24,827 You know what? It doesn't matter. 903 01:13:27,121 --> 01:13:29,248 Because in your heart you know... 904 01:13:30,124 --> 01:13:32,126 ...that the juice is worth the squeeze. 905 01:13:34,754 --> 01:13:37,048 That's what moral fiber's all about. 906 01:14:00,739 --> 01:14:03,534 First, I'd just like to commend the candidates on... 907 01:14:03,617 --> 01:14:05,828 ...their impressive remarks. 908 01:14:06,954 --> 01:14:10,124 This year was a very tough decision. 909 01:14:10,541 --> 01:14:14,837 And as much as we'd love to give you all scholarships, we can't. 910 01:14:15,254 --> 01:14:18,549 And so I am proud to announce the winner... 911 01:14:18,715 --> 01:14:20,843 ...of this year's Sheridan scholarship: 912 01:14:26,223 --> 01:14:28,935 Ryan Winger. 913 01:15:09,726 --> 01:15:11,520 Oh, God, what happened? 914 01:15:12,646 --> 01:15:14,356 Yeah, I slipped. 915 01:15:14,523 --> 01:15:17,151 Listen, Jeannie, Samnang's coming on Monday. 916 01:15:17,318 --> 01:15:19,737 - I know. How exciting. - Yeah. 917 01:15:19,945 --> 01:15:21,947 So I'm gonna need to close out the account. 918 01:15:22,156 --> 01:15:23,741 What do you mean? 919 01:15:23,949 --> 01:15:26,452 I mean I'm gonna need to close out the account. 920 01:15:26,619 --> 01:15:29,455 - But it's already closed. - What are you talking about? 921 01:15:29,747 --> 01:15:32,625 Your teacher came by yesterday and cleared out the account. 922 01:15:32,833 --> 01:15:34,126 Who? What- What teacher? 923 01:15:34,418 --> 01:15:36,045 Your student advisor. Mr. Salinger. 924 01:15:36,128 --> 01:15:38,047 The one you were with the other day. 925 01:15:38,339 --> 01:15:41,634 Mr. Salinger? What are you-? 926 01:15:51,520 --> 01:15:53,730 Cambodia 927 01:15:54,022 --> 01:15:56,525 Samnang, what's wrong, my son? 928 01:15:56,942 --> 01:15:59,027 That Matthew Kidman. 929 01:15:59,236 --> 01:16:04,324 He fucked me, Mom. He fucked me so bad. 930 01:16:04,533 --> 01:16:06,159 Son of a bitch. 931 01:16:09,454 --> 01:16:10,747 Oh, my God. 932 01:16:11,248 --> 01:16:12,833 - What's wrong? - Jeannie... 933 01:16:13,834 --> 01:16:15,544 ...didn't you ask for ID or anything? 934 01:16:16,628 --> 01:16:19,548 You said he was your student advisor. 935 01:16:19,631 --> 01:16:20,924 Oh, my God. 936 01:16:23,260 --> 01:16:25,554 - Jeannie, where are you going? - To get the manager. 937 01:16:25,846 --> 01:16:27,347 No, hold on. Wait, wait, wait. 938 01:16:28,348 --> 01:16:29,641 Matthew, what's going on? 939 01:16:30,142 --> 01:16:31,852 Look... 940 01:16:32,645 --> 01:16:34,731 ...that guy wasn't my student advisor. 941 01:16:36,023 --> 01:16:39,026 No, I know, I know. I can get the money back. 942 01:16:39,235 --> 01:16:42,947 We just need to keep this between me and you for now, okay? 943 01:16:43,531 --> 01:16:46,743 That's a great blouse, by the way. Have you lost weight? 944 01:16:47,034 --> 01:16:48,828 No? No, wait, wait. 945 01:16:50,037 --> 01:16:51,247 Jeannie. 946 01:16:52,832 --> 01:16:55,752 You think about this. This is your fault too. Right? 947 01:16:56,043 --> 01:16:58,546 You didn't ask for ID. You didn't do anything. 948 01:16:58,755 --> 01:17:00,757 And I saw you flirting with him too... 949 01:17:00,840 --> 01:17:01,924 ...all right? So unprofessional. 950 01:17:02,133 --> 01:17:04,051 You'll lose your job over this. 951 01:17:04,135 --> 01:17:05,428 Don't threaten me, you little shit. 952 01:17:05,636 --> 01:17:07,555 I could give a fuck about you and your rice boy. 953 01:17:07,638 --> 01:17:09,056 I'm not getting fired. 954 01:17:09,223 --> 01:17:12,143 Okay, okay. I'm sorry. Just- Please, I... 955 01:17:12,351 --> 01:17:14,521 Just- No one can ever find out about this. 956 01:17:14,730 --> 01:17:17,524 If this gets out, I'll be expelled. My life will be over. 957 01:17:17,733 --> 01:17:19,526 If that money isn't back by Monday... 958 01:17:19,651 --> 01:17:21,653 ...I wouldn't worry about being expelled. 959 01:17:21,862 --> 01:17:23,447 I'd worry about going to jail. 960 01:17:25,741 --> 01:17:27,242 - Jeannie... - Hi, Jeannie. 961 01:17:27,451 --> 01:17:29,244 Hi, Martin. 962 01:17:38,921 --> 01:17:40,255 BANK MANAGER 963 01:17:57,732 --> 01:17:59,734 Matthew, what's wrong? 964 01:18:00,026 --> 01:18:03,655 Matt, is there something you want to talk about? 965 01:18:04,239 --> 01:18:06,950 Matthew, honey, what is it? 966 01:18:13,832 --> 01:18:16,960 - Hi. - Come here. 967 01:18:24,342 --> 01:18:26,553 I'm in so much trouble. 968 01:18:39,233 --> 01:18:42,361 I can't believe we're even thinking about this. 969 01:18:45,322 --> 01:18:48,159 Well, if you need that kind of money by Monday... 970 01:18:48,951 --> 01:18:50,453 Yeah- What are we doing? 971 01:18:50,536 --> 01:18:52,329 I mean, I can't get you involved in this. 972 01:18:52,663 --> 01:18:54,457 I want to do it. 973 01:18:54,832 --> 01:18:56,459 Why? 974 01:18:58,461 --> 01:19:00,463 Moral fiber. 975 01:19:02,548 --> 01:19:03,048 I'm in. 976 01:19:03,132 --> 01:19:04,925 You haven't heard the whole plan yet. 977 01:19:05,134 --> 01:19:06,427 Doesn't matter. 978 01:19:06,635 --> 01:19:08,554 Fuck film school. 979 01:19:08,763 --> 01:19:12,349 This is gonna be huge. This is gonna be my calling card. 980 01:19:13,934 --> 01:19:15,853 - No. - Klitzy... 981 01:19:16,061 --> 01:19:17,856 - No way. - Klitz... 982 01:19:18,064 --> 01:19:20,942 ...you know I wouldn't ask for this unless I really needed it. 983 01:19:21,234 --> 01:19:23,653 Matt believe me, I want to help you, but- No. 984 01:19:23,862 --> 01:19:25,947 - We'll get expelled and- - Klitz, shut up. 985 01:19:26,156 --> 01:19:28,450 Do me a favor, okay? 986 01:19:28,658 --> 01:19:32,162 Take a look at us, okay? Take a good look at us. 987 01:19:32,954 --> 01:19:35,248 Do you know what we are, the three of us? 988 01:19:38,126 --> 01:19:42,339 - What? - We're a fucking tripod. 989 01:19:42,547 --> 01:19:44,758 - A tripod? - Yeah. 990 01:19:44,925 --> 01:19:46,760 And you know what that means? 991 01:19:46,927 --> 01:19:50,639 That means that if you kick out one of our legs, then we all fall. 992 01:19:52,724 --> 01:19:54,226 Come on, baby. 993 01:19:59,148 --> 01:20:00,942 Fuck. 994 01:20:02,735 --> 01:20:04,654 I know it was you, Klitzy. 995 01:20:07,740 --> 01:20:10,243 - Where is she? - Oh, there they are. Hey. 996 01:20:12,453 --> 01:20:14,247 - Hey! - Hi, Danielle. 997 01:20:16,040 --> 01:20:17,959 Hi. 998 01:20:18,126 --> 01:20:19,961 - Hey, let's get our luggage! - Yeah. 999 01:20:20,128 --> 01:20:21,838 - Yeah! - All right? 1000 01:20:22,255 --> 01:20:24,257 - I'll be there in a minute. - Okay! 1001 01:20:45,237 --> 01:20:47,948 So if I pull this off, I get the 25 grand on Sunday? 1002 01:20:48,157 --> 01:20:51,827 Kid, you pull this off I'll take care of your little Samsung. 1003 01:20:51,952 --> 01:20:53,036 Samnang. 1004 01:20:53,245 --> 01:20:54,538 Whatever. 1005 01:20:54,747 --> 01:20:56,457 Have a nice prom, kid. 1006 01:21:00,043 --> 01:21:03,255 - All right, minions, over here. - Good luck. 1007 01:21:14,057 --> 01:21:15,851 Relax, relax. 1008 01:21:16,059 --> 01:21:18,061 You know what? Go wait in the car. Go. 1009 01:21:23,068 --> 01:21:24,652 Jesus. 1010 01:21:27,447 --> 01:21:31,034 Gentlemen, these are your prom dates, April and Ferrari. 1011 01:21:31,868 --> 01:21:35,955 Ladies, we have Eli and Klitz. 1012 01:21:36,831 --> 01:21:38,333 Your name is Klitz? 1013 01:21:39,334 --> 01:21:40,835 With a K. 1014 01:21:41,127 --> 01:21:45,048 Okay, get a two-shot. Minions. All right, guys, get closer. 1015 01:21:45,256 --> 01:21:48,843 Yeah, that's right. Show me the love. Oh, feel it. Feel it! 1016 01:21:49,135 --> 01:21:50,762 - Nice. - Eli? 1017 01:21:51,054 --> 01:21:53,264 Do those girls go to your school? 1018 01:21:53,932 --> 01:21:55,433 Actually, no. 1019 01:21:55,767 --> 01:21:57,143 Mrs. Kidman... 1020 01:21:57,352 --> 01:22:01,565 ...they're porn stars. - Oh, yeah, right. 1021 01:22:16,956 --> 01:22:18,833 You look... 1022 01:22:19,667 --> 01:22:21,168 You- You look really nice. 1023 01:22:22,044 --> 01:22:23,546 Thanks. 1024 01:22:23,754 --> 01:22:26,132 You really do, hon. You look so beautiful. 1025 01:22:26,465 --> 01:22:27,758 Really? 1026 01:22:27,967 --> 01:22:29,343 Thanks. 1027 01:22:48,238 --> 01:22:49,865 WELCOME TO THE SENIOR PROM 1028 01:23:18,143 --> 01:23:19,644 What are all these cameras for? 1029 01:23:20,645 --> 01:23:22,355 For video yearbook. 1030 01:23:46,631 --> 01:23:50,134 So, what should we do? Should we start setting up? 1031 01:23:50,468 --> 01:23:53,137 Yeah, look, we just gotta keep this low-key, okay? 1032 01:23:53,346 --> 01:23:54,639 Okay. What are you gonna do? 1033 01:23:56,557 --> 01:23:58,142 I'm gonna get our actors. 1034 01:24:01,270 --> 01:24:04,357 - Dude, make sure they can act. - Yeah, all right. 1035 01:24:04,565 --> 01:24:07,945 - Just get out of here, okay? - Hey, I got this taken care of. 1036 01:24:08,153 --> 01:24:11,156 You just show this little lady a good time tonight, all right? 1037 01:24:11,365 --> 01:24:13,867 - Minions, let's move. - Wait. So, what are we doing? 1038 01:24:14,034 --> 01:24:15,369 Relax, relax. 1039 01:24:20,332 --> 01:24:22,334 Come on, play it cool, play it cool. 1040 01:24:37,641 --> 01:24:39,560 Look, they're coming to you. 1041 01:24:40,561 --> 01:24:41,854 I, Matt. 1042 01:24:42,062 --> 01:24:44,064 - What's up? - What's up? 1043 01:24:44,648 --> 01:24:48,361 - Can we talk to you for a second? - Dude, I'm with my girl here. 1044 01:24:49,446 --> 01:24:51,448 - Sorry, man. - Should we come back? 1045 01:24:51,656 --> 01:24:53,950 No, I'll leave you guys alone. 1046 01:25:07,338 --> 01:25:08,047 What's up? 1047 01:25:08,173 --> 01:25:10,049 Hey, man, what's up with those girls? 1048 01:25:10,341 --> 01:25:13,970 - What about them? - Are they, like...? 1049 01:25:15,138 --> 01:25:16,473 Are they porn stars? 1050 01:25:17,348 --> 01:25:19,768 - Yeah. - Shit. 1051 01:25:21,060 --> 01:25:22,771 I knew I recognized them. I knew it. 1052 01:25:23,938 --> 01:25:25,940 - Can we meet them? - Yeah. 1053 01:25:29,236 --> 01:25:31,739 How'd you boys like to be in a movie? 1054 01:25:31,947 --> 01:25:33,741 - What are these? - Your scripts. 1055 01:25:33,949 --> 01:25:35,743 Sign the release form at the top. 1056 01:25:35,951 --> 01:25:38,245 Come on, you guys, wait up! 1057 01:25:41,373 --> 01:25:42,541 PHOTO RELEASE 1058 01:25:46,754 --> 01:25:48,047 Are these our actors? 1059 01:25:48,839 --> 01:25:50,841 Just these two. 1060 01:25:51,050 --> 01:25:52,968 What about me, dude? 1061 01:25:53,135 --> 01:25:56,847 Sorry, bro. Party's all full. 1062 01:25:58,641 --> 01:26:00,142 Gentlemen. 1063 01:26:04,647 --> 01:26:08,442 As an artist, I want it to come from a truthful place. 1064 01:26:09,361 --> 01:26:12,239 Holy shit. 1065 01:26:15,242 --> 01:26:17,953 - Ferrari. Ferrari. Focus. Listen. - Oh, okay. 1066 01:26:18,161 --> 01:26:20,247 - Are we...? - No, I can do this. Don't worry. 1067 01:26:20,455 --> 01:26:22,457 Think Meryl Streep, Sophie's Choice. 1068 01:26:31,967 --> 01:26:33,260 Hey. 1069 01:26:33,468 --> 01:26:34,970 Hey. 1070 01:26:40,142 --> 01:26:42,644 Next location! Come on, move! 1071 01:26:42,853 --> 01:26:45,439 Move, move, move! Let's go! 1072 01:26:52,238 --> 01:26:54,240 - I gotta be in this. - Shut up. Take this. 1073 01:27:10,339 --> 01:27:12,341 Oh, come on! Take the pain! 1074 01:27:12,550 --> 01:27:14,051 Take the pain! Get up. Come on! 1075 01:27:17,847 --> 01:27:19,474 May I have a word with you? 1076 01:27:21,142 --> 01:27:23,644 - What's up? - I found this in the hallway. 1077 01:27:24,353 --> 01:27:25,646 Do you know what this is? 1078 01:27:26,355 --> 01:27:27,565 No, what is it? 1079 01:27:27,648 --> 01:27:30,067 Looks like a release form for something. 1080 01:27:31,153 --> 01:27:32,946 Yeah, I don't know what it is. 1081 01:27:35,240 --> 01:27:37,159 Have a good night. 1082 01:27:55,344 --> 01:27:56,845 You're strong. 1083 01:27:57,054 --> 01:27:58,555 You're firm. 1084 01:27:58,764 --> 01:28:01,058 But you have a secret. 1085 01:28:01,266 --> 01:28:03,268 Show that to me. 1086 01:28:16,741 --> 01:28:18,660 Thank you. 1087 01:28:19,160 --> 01:28:21,037 For what? 1088 01:28:21,454 --> 01:28:23,456 I never went to prom. 1089 01:28:45,353 --> 01:28:47,355 Excuse me, sir? 1090 01:28:47,939 --> 01:28:49,357 We have a problem. 1091 01:28:51,943 --> 01:28:54,238 - What's wrong? - Derek didn't work out. 1092 01:28:54,655 --> 01:28:56,949 - What happened? - Let's just say he wasn't strong... 1093 01:28:57,241 --> 01:28:58,951 ...or firm. 1094 01:28:59,160 --> 01:29:01,245 Guys, I can't work like this. 1095 01:29:01,579 --> 01:29:03,664 Okay, relax. We'll just get somebody else. 1096 01:29:03,873 --> 01:29:04,540 There is nobody else. 1097 01:29:04,665 --> 01:29:06,959 I thought everyone's dying to be in this. 1098 01:29:07,168 --> 01:29:09,378 Not this scene. 1099 01:29:11,756 --> 01:29:13,048 All right. 1100 01:29:13,257 --> 01:29:15,468 This is the key scene. 1101 01:29:15,676 --> 01:29:18,763 If we don't get this, Hugo's not gonna buy it. 1102 01:29:19,472 --> 01:29:21,974 Yeah, well, somebody's gotta step up. 1103 01:29:22,141 --> 01:29:25,060 - Why are you looking at me? - Because you're doing it. 1104 01:29:25,269 --> 01:29:27,563 Whoa, whoa, Mr. I-Just-Wanna-Bang-Hot-Chicks. 1105 01:29:27,772 --> 01:29:29,940 Here's your first chance. 1106 01:29:30,441 --> 01:29:32,359 Klitz, I can't act and direct, okay? 1107 01:29:32,568 --> 01:29:33,944 Oh, okay, fine. I'll direct. 1108 01:29:34,153 --> 01:29:35,739 - You're a director now? - Yeah, I am. 1109 01:29:35,947 --> 01:29:37,866 Okay, Spielberg, what lens will you use? 1110 01:29:38,074 --> 01:29:39,451 - It's a video camera. - So? 1111 01:29:39,743 --> 01:29:42,454 Dude, you don't need to change the lens on a video camera. 1112 01:29:42,662 --> 01:29:45,665 You know what? Take this camera and shove it up your ass! 1113 01:29:45,874 --> 01:29:47,542 I'll do it. 1114 01:29:50,253 --> 01:29:51,880 I'll do it. 1115 01:29:52,839 --> 01:29:55,175 You guys have been great, but this is my mess. 1116 01:29:55,342 --> 01:29:57,260 - I'll clean it up. - Matt. Matt. 1117 01:29:57,469 --> 01:29:59,971 Your face is gonna be in this. Think about that. 1118 01:30:32,755 --> 01:30:35,675 - Come here, baby. - Let's... 1119 01:30:36,551 --> 01:30:38,344 Picture's up, people. 1120 01:30:51,149 --> 01:30:52,567 Are you ready, hon? 1121 01:30:52,775 --> 01:30:54,068 Yeah. 1122 01:30:54,277 --> 01:30:56,070 Okay, let's do this. 1123 01:31:04,371 --> 01:31:06,165 And... 1124 01:31:06,457 --> 01:31:07,875 ...action. 1125 01:31:11,754 --> 01:31:13,964 What the hell is going on in here? 1126 01:31:17,342 --> 01:31:19,344 - Nobody move! - Oh, shit. 1127 01:31:19,553 --> 01:31:21,346 Who is in charge of this? 1128 01:31:22,973 --> 01:31:24,767 I asked you people a question! 1129 01:31:24,975 --> 01:31:26,977 Who is in charge here? 1130 01:31:40,950 --> 01:31:42,452 Fuck it. 1131 01:32:12,982 --> 01:32:15,652 All right, everybody, take five. 1132 01:32:16,778 --> 01:32:18,071 What's wrong? 1133 01:32:18,279 --> 01:32:19,949 I can't do this. 1134 01:32:20,157 --> 01:32:21,784 What happened? 1135 01:32:33,754 --> 01:32:35,881 What are you gonna do? 1136 01:32:38,384 --> 01:32:40,469 I don't know. Doesn't matter. 1137 01:32:44,557 --> 01:32:46,475 No. 1138 01:32:46,684 --> 01:32:48,352 I'll do it. 1139 01:32:48,978 --> 01:32:50,646 Klitz, it's cool. You don't have to- 1140 01:32:50,771 --> 01:32:52,148 No, no, I'm doing it. 1141 01:32:53,274 --> 01:32:54,859 Why? 1142 01:32:55,651 --> 01:32:57,778 Because we're a fucking tripod. 1143 01:32:59,155 --> 01:33:02,159 All right, here we go, people. Picture's up. 1144 01:33:03,577 --> 01:33:06,580 Listen, I know this is unprofessional... 1145 01:33:06,747 --> 01:33:08,874 ...but I think you're really cute. 1146 01:33:09,082 --> 01:33:10,667 Yeah, right. 1147 01:33:11,668 --> 01:33:13,670 I'm serious. 1148 01:33:14,463 --> 01:33:15,964 Really cute. 1149 01:33:16,757 --> 01:33:18,049 How we doing, Klitzy? 1150 01:33:19,885 --> 01:33:21,344 Fucking great, man. 1151 01:33:21,553 --> 01:33:22,846 Let's do this. 1152 01:33:23,263 --> 01:33:25,348 And action! 1153 01:34:16,150 --> 01:34:17,777 See you guys. 1154 01:34:20,154 --> 01:34:22,156 Good night, guys. 1155 01:34:27,371 --> 01:34:28,872 So... 1156 01:34:29,081 --> 01:34:31,667 ...what's the craziest thing you've done lately? 1157 01:35:47,369 --> 01:35:49,371 - Hello? - We're dead. 1158 01:35:49,580 --> 01:35:51,874 - Eli? - Dude, the tape's not here. 1159 01:35:52,083 --> 01:35:53,375 - I can't find it. - What? 1160 01:35:53,584 --> 01:35:56,754 Dude, I'm not kidding, okay? I've looked everywhere, okay? 1161 01:35:57,088 --> 01:35:57,880 All right, calm down. 1162 01:35:57,963 --> 01:35:59,882 No, dude, you calm down! It's gone! 1163 01:36:00,049 --> 01:36:02,760 - What do you mean it's gone? - I mean it's freaking gone. 1164 01:36:03,260 --> 01:36:05,054 Somebody stole it! 1165 01:36:05,262 --> 01:36:06,555 Jesus Christ! 1166 01:36:06,680 --> 01:36:08,182 Matthew, could you come in here? 1167 01:36:13,979 --> 01:36:16,065 This is Mr. Simon. 1168 01:36:18,067 --> 01:36:21,153 He says he has something very important to discuss with us. 1169 01:36:25,366 --> 01:36:26,660 Why don't you sit down. 1170 01:36:30,372 --> 01:36:32,582 Actually, if you don't mind... 1171 01:36:32,749 --> 01:36:35,085 ...may I have a word with the boy alone first? 1172 01:36:36,670 --> 01:36:38,255 Sure. 1173 01:36:47,264 --> 01:36:48,473 So how was prom? 1174 01:36:51,476 --> 01:36:53,270 - That's mine. - You know, we were fine. 1175 01:36:53,478 --> 01:36:56,565 But now you go and do this? This was my idea. 1176 01:36:56,773 --> 01:36:58,567 Now I'm really gonna fuck your shit up. 1177 01:36:59,651 --> 01:37:01,278 I'm gonna need that back. 1178 01:37:04,990 --> 01:37:06,366 Take it from me. 1179 01:37:09,954 --> 01:37:11,873 Yeah... 1180 01:37:12,081 --> 01:37:14,083 ...what are you gonna do? 1181 01:37:16,085 --> 01:37:17,462 I don't have to do anything. 1182 01:37:18,171 --> 01:37:19,964 Hugo Posh will. 1183 01:37:20,173 --> 01:37:23,050 Yeah, he's my partner on this, 50-50. 1184 01:37:24,051 --> 01:37:26,554 So could I please have my tape back? 1185 01:37:26,763 --> 01:37:28,556 Fuck you! 1186 01:37:29,682 --> 01:37:32,185 Fuck you. I'm taking your half then. 1187 01:37:32,351 --> 01:37:35,980 No. That money's going to Samnang. The money you stole from him. 1188 01:37:36,189 --> 01:37:39,567 You say that like I care. I don't give a shit. 1189 01:37:39,776 --> 01:37:41,569 You're giving me your half. 1190 01:37:42,069 --> 01:37:44,155 And if I don't? 1191 01:37:44,864 --> 01:37:46,157 Showtime. 1192 01:37:52,664 --> 01:37:55,250 - Okay. - "Okay," what? 1193 01:37:56,877 --> 01:37:58,670 Show them the tape. 1194 01:37:58,962 --> 01:38:00,672 I'm not fucking around. 1195 01:38:02,257 --> 01:38:04,259 I just don't care anymore. 1196 01:38:06,178 --> 01:38:07,679 This... 1197 01:38:07,888 --> 01:38:10,474 ...is gonna be interesting. 1198 01:38:14,353 --> 01:38:16,855 Dan, Marci, Mr. Salinger... 1199 01:38:17,064 --> 01:38:20,192 ...would you mind joining me in the living room for a second? 1200 01:38:20,359 --> 01:38:21,860 Great. 1201 01:38:29,284 --> 01:38:32,872 Matthew, is there anything you want to say before we watch this? 1202 01:38:36,793 --> 01:38:38,878 Okay, then. On with the show. 1203 01:38:42,382 --> 01:38:44,467 Hello. I'm April. 1204 01:38:44,676 --> 01:38:46,261 And I'm Ferrari. 1205 01:38:46,469 --> 01:38:50,056 You may recognize us as stars of the adult entertainment industry. 1206 01:38:50,390 --> 01:38:52,559 And today we're taking time out to talk about... 1207 01:38:52,684 --> 01:38:54,352 ...a very important subject. 1208 01:38:54,561 --> 01:38:56,062 - Sex. - Sex. 1209 01:38:57,272 --> 01:38:59,566 Special events such as senior prom... 1210 01:38:59,774 --> 01:39:00,859 ...place added pressure on young teens... 1211 01:39:01,067 --> 01:39:04,070 ...to lose their virginity and engage in unprotected sex. 1212 01:39:04,279 --> 01:39:06,656 I know I lost my virginity at my senior... 1213 01:39:06,781 --> 01:39:08,658 ...prom. When'd you lose yours, April? 1214 01:39:08,867 --> 01:39:11,871 - When I was 10. - Moving on. 1215 01:39:12,079 --> 01:39:14,582 In this video, we'll go through. 1216 01:39:14,665 --> 01:39:16,167 ...everything from kissing to foreplay. 1217 01:39:16,375 --> 01:39:20,171 And for our finale, we'll show you how to put a condom on properly... 1218 01:39:20,379 --> 01:39:22,590 ...using a real person. 1219 01:39:22,673 --> 01:39:25,259 No cucumbers or bananas in this video. 1220 01:39:25,468 --> 01:39:27,553 So for those of you naughty boys... 1221 01:39:27,678 --> 01:39:29,388 ...expecting to see a raunchy porn video... 1222 01:39:29,764 --> 01:39:32,892 ...you might as well turn this off now... 1223 01:39:33,058 --> 01:39:34,769 ...because you're not gonna see sex. 1224 01:39:34,977 --> 01:39:36,479 What the fuck is this shit? 1225 01:39:36,687 --> 01:39:39,482 You're gonna see sex education. 1226 01:39:41,692 --> 01:39:43,277 The ELI EXPERIENCE presents 1227 01:39:44,653 --> 01:39:47,865 ADULT EDUCATION Sex Education for the 21st Century 1228 01:39:50,993 --> 01:39:52,954 This is interesting, Matthew. 1229 01:39:56,458 --> 01:39:57,793 Yeah. 1230 01:39:57,959 --> 01:40:00,378 Yeah, I think it's a great idea. 1231 01:40:03,757 --> 01:40:07,094 Well, you remember those sex-ed films back in our day. 1232 01:40:07,677 --> 01:40:10,972 Well, I'll tell you, if they were anything like this... 1233 01:40:11,181 --> 01:40:14,267 ...we sure would've paid more attention, don't you think? 1234 01:40:15,977 --> 01:40:18,188 I think it's atrocious. 1235 01:40:21,191 --> 01:40:22,484 But... 1236 01:40:22,692 --> 01:40:24,486 ...the hell with it. 1237 01:40:25,779 --> 01:40:28,073 The kids today are so goddamn screwed up... 1238 01:40:28,281 --> 01:40:31,284 ...maybe this is the only way you can reach them. 1239 01:40:34,288 --> 01:40:36,582 You just might have something here, Matthew. 1240 01:40:37,166 --> 01:40:38,960 I think it's pretty wild. 1241 01:40:40,169 --> 01:40:42,171 This could really sell, don't you think? 1242 01:40:43,589 --> 01:40:45,758 How'd you come up with such an idea, Matthew? 1243 01:40:47,260 --> 01:40:48,594 What can I say? 1244 01:40:49,971 --> 01:40:52,056 It's like a gift, you know? 1245 01:40:52,974 --> 01:40:55,059 It's like I can't control it. 1246 01:40:59,063 --> 01:41:00,356 We've Only. Just Begun. 1247 01:41:03,776 --> 01:41:05,069 YEARBOOKS TODAY! 1248 01:41:05,278 --> 01:41:08,865 Courtney Booth. I will always remember late nights in Cabby- 1249 01:41:09,073 --> 01:41:10,867 Eric Zierdal. I'll always remember- 1250 01:41:11,075 --> 01:41:12,368 Kurt Kilgore. I will- 1251 01:41:12,577 --> 01:41:13,578 Joseph Croft. 1252 01:41:13,786 --> 01:41:16,373 I will always remember wrestling and the great memories we had. 1253 01:41:16,582 --> 01:41:19,668 Matthew Kidman. I will always remember... 1254 01:41:22,171 --> 01:41:24,673 ...the three legs of the tripod. 1255 01:41:25,090 --> 01:41:28,469 I'm here with Hugo Posh, the producer of Adult Education... 1256 01:41:28,677 --> 01:41:31,972 ...the hottest-selling sex-education video ever made... 1257 01:41:32,181 --> 01:41:34,975 ...being utilized in classrooms across the globe. 1258 01:41:35,184 --> 01:41:39,480 Hugo, you're known primarily as a hard-core pornographer, correct? 1259 01:41:39,688 --> 01:41:40,981 My business partner. 1260 01:41:41,190 --> 01:41:42,566 Let me break it down for you 1261 01:41:42,775 --> 01:41:45,861 See, Hugo Posh isn't just tits. He isn't just ass. 1262 01:41:46,987 --> 01:41:50,866 I mean, yes, he is those things, but Hugo Posh is also heart. 1263 01:41:51,492 --> 01:41:53,285 What an ass-bag. 1264 01:41:53,994 --> 01:41:55,497 THE JUICE WAS WORTH THE SQUEEZE 1265 01:41:55,997 --> 01:41:58,082 Fucking kid. 1266 01:41:58,291 --> 01:42:00,084 My student advisor. 1267 01:42:00,293 --> 01:42:02,295 All right, people. 1268 01:42:02,796 --> 01:42:04,297 Let's make some fucky-fucky. 1269 01:42:04,464 --> 01:42:07,258 Now, Hugo, you and your partner have made millions on this. 1270 01:42:07,467 --> 01:42:09,177 So who is this silent partner? 1271 01:42:10,595 --> 01:42:13,556 Well, he prefers to remain anonymous. 1272 01:42:21,189 --> 01:42:24,192 You better cure cancer, kid. 1273 01:42:24,359 --> 01:42:25,985 The next Einstein. 1274 01:42:26,361 --> 01:42:28,279 All right. Yeah, next question. 1275 01:42:29,364 --> 01:42:31,491 - All right. - Eli's calling card. 1276 01:42:31,658 --> 01:42:33,785 - How about you, buddy? - Yeah, Mr. Brooks... 1277 01:42:33,993 --> 01:42:36,079 ...why did you decide to skip film school? 1278 01:42:36,287 --> 01:42:38,165 Don't you think you're a little young? 1279 01:42:38,290 --> 01:42:39,583 Shut the fuck up! 1280 01:42:39,792 --> 01:42:41,293 Next question! Faster! 1281 01:42:41,460 --> 01:42:43,879 I got the tape! Can you see? I got the tape! 1282 01:42:45,965 --> 01:42:47,883 For our finale, I will now demonstrate... 1283 01:42:47,967 --> 01:42:48,884 ...the proper technique... 1284 01:42:49,093 --> 01:42:50,678 ...for putting a condom on the real thing. 1285 01:42:50,761 --> 01:42:52,596 Is my volunteer ready? 1286 01:42:52,763 --> 01:42:54,598 Klitz's big debut. 1287 01:42:54,890 --> 01:42:56,767 Shut up, shut up! Here he is, here he is. 1288 01:43:04,358 --> 01:43:07,069 Jesus, look at that guy. 1289 01:43:07,862 --> 01:43:10,698 He is huge. 1290 01:43:15,369 --> 01:43:18,665 My own scholarship to Georgetown. 1291 01:43:23,378 --> 01:43:25,964 And of course, I'll never forget... 1292 01:43:26,173 --> 01:43:27,466 ...the girl next door. 1293 01:43:35,474 --> 01:43:37,559 As for me... 1294 01:43:38,393 --> 01:43:40,771 ...I'm just going with it. 93537