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Would you like to inspect the original subtitles? These are the user uploaded subtitles that are being translated: 1 00:00:20,937 --> 00:00:21,938 Removes hair. 2 00:00:22,605 --> 00:00:23,857 Lasts up to eight weeks. 3 00:00:25,400 --> 00:00:26,443 Press and pull. 4 00:00:28,445 --> 00:00:29,445 Okay. 5 00:00:47,464 --> 00:00:49,424 - Bert? - I heard someone say my name. 6 00:00:49,507 --> 00:00:51,634 - Bert? Are you okay? - Nikki? I need help. 7 00:00:51,718 --> 00:00:52,969 - I'm stuck. - What's going on? 8 00:00:53,053 --> 00:00:55,180 Hold on. Brace yourself in the "Me Too" culture. 9 00:00:55,263 --> 00:00:56,903 - Okay. - You're going to see my butthole. 10 00:00:57,599 --> 00:00:58,767 I'm gonna see your butthole? 11 00:00:58,850 --> 00:01:00,894 If you're comfortable with it, please move forward. 12 00:01:00,977 --> 00:01:04,064 Okay, I am consenting to seeing your butthole right now. 13 00:01:04,147 --> 00:01:06,691 - Here's the problem we're in. - Oh, my God! 14 00:01:06,775 --> 00:01:09,360 - I have a wax strip right there... - Stop it. 15 00:01:09,444 --> 00:01:11,696 ...and it's stuck. I need help. Please just rip it off. 16 00:01:11,780 --> 00:01:13,156 In the direction of my hair. 17 00:01:13,239 --> 00:01:15,439 - Right. So down. - Please, in the direction of my hair. 18 00:01:15,492 --> 00:01:17,160 Oh, my God. You have the lowest asshole. 19 00:01:17,243 --> 00:01:18,923 You gotta pull quick and I gotta hold taut. 20 00:01:18,995 --> 00:01:20,413 Ready? And... 21 00:01:22,040 --> 00:01:24,626 - No, I'm touching it! - It stung, Nikki. 22 00:01:24,709 --> 00:01:25,960 Dude! 23 00:01:26,044 --> 00:01:27,087 - Wait. - Who is that? 24 00:01:27,921 --> 00:01:29,047 That's Caitlyn Jenner. 25 00:01:29,672 --> 00:01:31,966 - Oh, shit. Hold on. - Do not have your... 26 00:01:32,050 --> 00:01:34,677 Clean these... Shit, it's on my fucking shoe. 27 00:01:34,761 --> 00:01:37,222 - Am I interrupting anything? - No, you're at the right place. 28 00:01:37,305 --> 00:01:39,766 - I'm Bert. This is my friend, Nikki. - What are you... Ugh! 29 00:01:39,849 --> 00:01:43,436 - Nikki, so what do you got on there? - Don't worry about that. 30 00:01:43,520 --> 00:01:46,856 - Hi, good to see you again. - I didn't disrupt anything? 31 00:01:46,940 --> 00:01:49,776 No, just a little spring cleaning. 32 00:01:52,278 --> 00:01:53,571 My name is Bert Kreischer. 33 00:01:53,655 --> 00:01:56,032 I'm a father, a husband and a stand-up comedian 34 00:01:56,116 --> 00:01:58,284 and I jam way too much into my days. 35 00:01:58,368 --> 00:02:00,513 I do stand-up, hang out with friends in the green room, 36 00:02:00,537 --> 00:02:03,289 drink, engage with fans, drink more, get a veggie burrito. 37 00:02:03,373 --> 00:02:05,542 I'm working on my diet. Get another burrito. 38 00:02:05,625 --> 00:02:06,865 They're kinda healthy. Go home. 39 00:02:06,918 --> 00:02:08,604 Talk to my family, do something nice for LeeAnn, 40 00:02:08,628 --> 00:02:10,505 do a podcast about parallel universes, 41 00:02:10,588 --> 00:02:13,883 do bicep curls, do Georgia's homework, work on my moves, do Ila's homework, 42 00:02:13,967 --> 00:02:16,287 don't understand it but close enough, spend time with Izzy, 43 00:02:16,344 --> 00:02:18,388 Good girl! Go to New York, spread out and get comfy, 44 00:02:18,471 --> 00:02:20,682 taxi on the runway for 20 minutes, but it's all good. 45 00:02:20,765 --> 00:02:24,018 Chug a beer at a hockey game, get on the Jumbotron, get on a helicopter, 46 00:02:24,102 --> 00:02:25,854 go to Chicago, three shows, three encores, 47 00:02:25,937 --> 00:02:28,606 go back to the airport, fly home, pass out face-first on the lawn, 48 00:02:28,690 --> 00:02:30,066 hit rock bottom. 49 00:02:30,150 --> 00:02:31,710 Have a heart-to-heart talk with LeeAnn, 50 00:02:31,734 --> 00:02:34,630 tell her I'm fine, but deep down I know my lifestyle's catching up with me 51 00:02:34,654 --> 00:02:36,906 and if I keep going like this, I'll have a heart attack. 52 00:02:36,990 --> 00:02:39,670 I'll take some time away, go to the wilderness, I'll eat, I'll pray, 53 00:02:39,701 --> 00:02:43,746 I'll love, I'll journal, meditate, hydrate, contemplate, isolate. 54 00:02:43,830 --> 00:02:44,956 I'll get better. 55 00:02:45,039 --> 00:02:46,583 I promise. 56 00:02:50,670 --> 00:02:52,589 This has been a interesting body episode. 57 00:02:52,672 --> 00:02:54,048 - Yeah. - We waxed my ass. 58 00:02:54,132 --> 00:02:56,259 It started off with me seeing your ass. 59 00:02:56,342 --> 00:02:57,342 Yeah. 60 00:02:57,802 --> 00:03:01,139 For me, this whole episode is about getting my body healthy. 61 00:03:01,222 --> 00:03:05,560 I was having a problem where my ass hairs were tying together when I ran, 62 00:03:05,643 --> 00:03:07,145 - so I wanted to wax them off. - Yeah. 63 00:03:07,312 --> 00:03:08,312 Oh, right. 64 00:03:18,281 --> 00:03:21,367 Sometimes when you come out here, you force the conversation, 65 00:03:21,451 --> 00:03:24,120 and that's what I love about what we had out here, was that 66 00:03:24,204 --> 00:03:29,542 despite how silly or ridiculous the activity was we always ended up 67 00:03:30,043 --> 00:03:31,377 stopping and just talking, 68 00:03:31,461 --> 00:03:35,298 which made this like such a seamless... fun day. 69 00:03:35,381 --> 00:03:36,549 - Yeah. - Yeah. 70 00:03:36,633 --> 00:03:39,385 I think what we all bring, or at least I hope to bring, 71 00:03:39,469 --> 00:03:42,180 - is always just honesty and authenticity... - Oh, yeah. 72 00:03:42,263 --> 00:03:44,474 No one's more honest than Caitlyn Jenner. 73 00:03:44,557 --> 00:03:45,391 I proved that. 74 00:03:45,475 --> 00:03:47,852 I mean, that's... You're the pinnacle of just, 75 00:03:47,936 --> 00:03:50,563 "This is who I am, fuck you if you don't like it." 76 00:03:50,647 --> 00:03:53,483 Which is what we're all trying to, you know, strive towards. 77 00:03:53,566 --> 00:03:55,206 So tell us what we're doing today. 78 00:03:55,235 --> 00:03:58,488 We're gonna have a competitive match of ax throwing against this board here. 79 00:03:58,571 --> 00:04:01,324 And then at one point, can I do the one between the legs like that? 80 00:04:01,407 --> 00:04:04,077 You can, but does your insurance cover scrotums? 81 00:04:04,160 --> 00:04:05,453 - Yep. - We're good. 82 00:04:05,536 --> 00:04:06,579 All right, we're good. 83 00:04:10,250 --> 00:04:13,020 Caitlyn, you said your father was in the tree-trimming business? 84 00:04:13,044 --> 00:04:14,462 Jenner Tree Service in Connecticut. 85 00:04:14,545 --> 00:04:17,298 - So you know your way around an ax? - I know what an ax is. 86 00:04:17,382 --> 00:04:19,550 - My dad was an ax murderer. - Oh! 87 00:04:19,634 --> 00:04:21,636 So, I haven't been around it, but it's in my blood. 88 00:04:21,719 --> 00:04:24,138 And so is my mom's blood, is everywhere in there. 89 00:04:24,222 --> 00:04:25,390 - Yeah. - On the crime scene. 90 00:04:26,599 --> 00:04:29,018 Were you just there on the side thinking of all this? 91 00:04:29,102 --> 00:04:31,688 - You were thinking of ax jokes? - No, I just came up with it. 92 00:04:31,771 --> 00:04:34,607 - What could my dad have done with an ax? - Yeah, write that down. 93 00:04:35,400 --> 00:04:37,235 - Yeah. - There you go. 94 00:04:38,278 --> 00:04:39,278 Okay. 95 00:04:40,697 --> 00:04:42,573 - There you go. - I did it! 96 00:04:42,657 --> 00:04:43,700 All right, here we go. 97 00:04:43,783 --> 00:04:45,827 - Caitlyn, do it! - Here we go. 98 00:04:47,120 --> 00:04:48,120 Nice. 99 00:04:48,746 --> 00:04:52,250 - A little high. - How do you say "bullseye" in Español? 100 00:04:52,333 --> 00:04:53,333 Oh, fuck. 101 00:04:54,294 --> 00:04:56,188 - Goddamn it. - That was kind of scary. 102 00:04:56,212 --> 00:04:58,399 Like when you have sex, accidentally put it in her butt. 103 00:04:58,423 --> 00:04:59,525 You're like, "Ooh, here we go." 104 00:04:59,549 --> 00:05:02,010 Often a guy will say "bullseye" before he does it. 105 00:05:03,594 --> 00:05:07,307 I've heard "Bullseye! Oh, fuck!" a lot of times and I go, "You meant that." 106 00:05:08,099 --> 00:05:09,739 What did you guys think about ax throwing? 107 00:05:09,809 --> 00:05:12,395 It felt cathartic, I see the appeal of it. 108 00:05:12,478 --> 00:05:15,064 I really got some feelings out that I needed to get out. 109 00:05:15,148 --> 00:05:17,817 I don't often do something that's just like... Yeah! 110 00:05:17,900 --> 00:05:19,652 - And it felt good. Yeah. - Really? 111 00:05:19,736 --> 00:05:22,405 Would it be good if she yelled out some mantra as she threw it? 112 00:05:22,488 --> 00:05:24,216 - Something that angers her? - What angers me? 113 00:05:24,240 --> 00:05:26,826 - "Inequality!" - Other women's success! 114 00:05:26,909 --> 00:05:29,412 - "Other women's success!" - That's... 115 00:05:30,538 --> 00:05:32,540 I think she's talking to you. 116 00:05:33,291 --> 00:05:35,752 Society's expectations of women! 117 00:05:37,962 --> 00:05:40,256 Nikki, what was your motivation before each throw? 118 00:05:40,340 --> 00:05:43,426 It was just to look inside myself and go like, 119 00:05:43,509 --> 00:05:47,096 "What's really bothering you? Just scream it into the air." 120 00:05:47,180 --> 00:05:49,783 "Other women that have been in the business and do better than me." 121 00:05:49,807 --> 00:05:54,437 Yes, just like getting out your things of like, "That's a dumb thing to be..." 122 00:05:54,520 --> 00:05:57,315 No, it's not dumb. It's what everyone fucking says in their head. 123 00:05:57,398 --> 00:05:58,316 And we say it too! 124 00:05:58,399 --> 00:06:01,819 If you're really looking inside yourself you're motivated by like... 125 00:06:02,695 --> 00:06:05,114 Does that nose ring go all the way through? 126 00:06:05,198 --> 00:06:07,450 - No, fake. - It's a fake nose ring! 127 00:06:07,533 --> 00:06:08,533 - Shut up! - Fake it! 128 00:06:08,576 --> 00:06:11,337 No one needs to get their nose pierced anymore. You just get infected. 129 00:06:11,371 --> 00:06:12,891 I've had one before. It's a nightmare. 130 00:06:12,955 --> 00:06:15,375 You just pop it in and out, everyone thinks it's real. 131 00:06:15,458 --> 00:06:16,376 No one thinks it's not. 132 00:06:16,459 --> 00:06:20,588 - Where did the name Caitlyn come from? - Throw, it's a long story. 133 00:06:21,422 --> 00:06:23,633 Messed your ass up. Yeah. 134 00:06:25,134 --> 00:06:28,346 Try naming yourself. That's, like, the most difficult thing you can do. 135 00:06:28,429 --> 00:06:29,972 - I had all sorts of names. - Yeah? 136 00:06:30,056 --> 00:06:33,476 And my assistant at the time goes, "I always loved the name Caitlyn." 137 00:06:34,394 --> 00:06:36,938 - My God, it's on my top three. No way! - Yes! 138 00:06:37,021 --> 00:06:41,150 She goes, "Yeah, but you should spell it C-A-I-T-L-Y-N." 139 00:06:41,234 --> 00:06:43,027 - Yeah. - I said, "That's perfect." 140 00:06:43,111 --> 00:06:44,737 I'm not going with a "K". 141 00:06:45,029 --> 00:06:47,365 Yeah. Oh, that would make sense. 142 00:06:47,448 --> 00:06:49,843 - There's gotta be a little separation. - I'm going, "Really?" 143 00:06:49,867 --> 00:06:51,667 When I told Kim, she goes, "What's your name?" 144 00:06:51,744 --> 00:06:54,224 I said "Caitlyn," she goes, "Oh, good, you stayed with the Ks." 145 00:06:54,914 --> 00:06:59,252 - I'm going, "No, not so fast." - "Not so fast, honey." 146 00:07:01,587 --> 00:07:04,590 When did you find out, "This is a thing that other people... 147 00:07:04,674 --> 00:07:06,843 This might not just be me." 148 00:07:07,427 --> 00:07:08,845 When the Internet started. 149 00:07:08,928 --> 00:07:10,888 That changed everything. 150 00:07:10,972 --> 00:07:13,182 Trans people would have a website, and... 151 00:07:13,266 --> 00:07:15,226 all of a sudden it kind of opens us up 152 00:07:15,309 --> 00:07:18,396 where today there's literally millions of... 153 00:07:19,397 --> 00:07:23,067 sites, places you can go to get information on it. 154 00:07:23,151 --> 00:07:25,736 It's nice when you have something going on in your head 155 00:07:25,820 --> 00:07:29,073 to know that it's not... Like, I have anxiety and OCD 156 00:07:29,157 --> 00:07:30,908 and I thought I was crazy my whole life. 157 00:07:30,992 --> 00:07:33,661 Then one day someone explained it and I went, "That's what I got!" 158 00:07:33,744 --> 00:07:36,539 - "I have a thing that has a name!" - Like, "Oh, my God! 159 00:07:36,622 --> 00:07:38,583 I'm not the only one out there?" 160 00:07:39,167 --> 00:07:42,170 - Are we ready? Is this my last one? - Yes. 161 00:07:42,628 --> 00:07:43,921 Okay, I need some points here. 162 00:07:44,005 --> 00:07:46,591 My whole goal is just to beat you so my dad says I'm his hero. 163 00:07:49,051 --> 00:07:50,720 - That's a bullseye! - Bullseye, yeah! 164 00:07:50,803 --> 00:07:52,513 What does that get me, a thousand points? 165 00:07:52,597 --> 00:07:53,723 - Yes. - Six points? 166 00:07:53,806 --> 00:07:54,806 Caitlyn won? 167 00:07:54,849 --> 00:07:58,311 I thought it was great from my standpoint. A great come-from-behind victory. 168 00:07:58,394 --> 00:08:01,397 You are the come-from-behind victory person in life. 169 00:08:01,481 --> 00:08:02,482 I know. In life, it is. 170 00:08:02,565 --> 00:08:05,002 What was the decathlon you did, I think it was the qualifyings 171 00:08:05,026 --> 00:08:07,487 where everyone was like, "Who the fuck is that?" 172 00:08:07,570 --> 00:08:10,823 - The Olympic trials in 1972. - That's it. The Olympic trials in 1972. 173 00:08:10,907 --> 00:08:12,617 - Yes. - And you came from out of nowhere. 174 00:08:12,700 --> 00:08:15,369 I was in eleventh place after five events in the decathlon. 175 00:08:15,453 --> 00:08:17,246 And then you came in and I feel like... 176 00:08:17,330 --> 00:08:21,083 I beat this guy by 18 seconds in the 1,500 meter. 177 00:08:21,167 --> 00:08:23,336 - Eight seconds? - I beat him by 20 seconds. 178 00:08:23,794 --> 00:08:26,339 I feel like that happened to me at the ax throwing today 179 00:08:26,422 --> 00:08:28,049 - Here we go. - Trick shot. 180 00:08:28,132 --> 00:08:29,383 Trick shot? 181 00:08:30,384 --> 00:08:34,305 - Heads up everybody. - Your last throw, I'm still reliving it. 182 00:08:34,388 --> 00:08:37,266 Old trick-shot Kreischer. 183 00:08:39,143 --> 00:08:41,145 - Oh, shit! - Jesus, Bert! 184 00:08:41,229 --> 00:08:43,606 - Fucking... Fucking shit! - Okay, you're done. 185 00:08:43,689 --> 00:08:45,525 Okay, everybody's alive. 186 00:08:45,608 --> 00:08:48,152 We're done, thank you! 187 00:08:48,236 --> 00:08:50,196 - Thank you. - That's a wrap. 188 00:08:51,113 --> 00:08:53,449 I got to be honest, that wasn't my nickname in high school. 189 00:08:55,493 --> 00:08:56,973 Anyone else wanna try the trick shot? 190 00:08:57,036 --> 00:08:59,455 That's okay, we're done. You're done with the ax, okay? 191 00:08:59,539 --> 00:09:02,959 - Come on, let's get chainsaws. - Yeah, let's do a chainsaw throw next. 192 00:09:03,084 --> 00:09:05,795 So how's it going today? Are Nikki and Caitlyn getting along? 193 00:09:05,878 --> 00:09:07,798 Almost too well. I feel like I'm the third wheel. 194 00:09:07,838 --> 00:09:08,965 - That's good. - Yeah. 195 00:09:09,048 --> 00:09:11,801 What stinks is that I wanted them to meet Fortune Feimster 196 00:09:11,884 --> 00:09:13,469 but it's not gonna happen now. 197 00:09:13,553 --> 00:09:16,973 - Is she coming up later? - No. She was already here. She left. 198 00:09:17,056 --> 00:09:18,057 Oh! 199 00:09:19,892 --> 00:09:20,892 Hello? 200 00:09:22,353 --> 00:09:23,813 Fortune. 201 00:09:26,315 --> 00:09:27,692 - Is that a mud bath? - A mud bath. 202 00:09:27,775 --> 00:09:31,279 I figured if I timed it out right, you'd show up and help hose me off. 203 00:09:31,362 --> 00:09:34,824 I can do that. I'd love to hose you off. Wait, am I about to see a wiener? 204 00:09:34,907 --> 00:09:37,159 - If you want to I can take my pants off! - No! 205 00:09:38,494 --> 00:09:39,662 - You ready? - Yep. 206 00:09:40,496 --> 00:09:43,666 That's cold. I hooked it up to hot water! 207 00:09:43,749 --> 00:09:45,418 Jesus, that's fucking ice cold! 208 00:09:45,501 --> 00:09:47,503 Get it off! Make it quick! 209 00:09:48,546 --> 00:09:50,006 Um... do I win a prize? 210 00:09:52,258 --> 00:09:55,011 - Go inside here too. - Oh, my God, I just saw your dick. 211 00:09:55,970 --> 00:09:57,930 - Is that your first one? - Second one. 212 00:09:58,014 --> 00:10:00,850 - In life? For real? - I gave a hand job once in high school. 213 00:10:00,933 --> 00:10:02,768 Do you want me to put the jet on the...? 214 00:10:02,852 --> 00:10:05,229 I thought you were gonna ask if you wanted a hand job. 215 00:10:05,313 --> 00:10:07,374 "Do you want a hand job? I'll show you how I did it?" 216 00:10:07,398 --> 00:10:09,567 Would you like me to dust off the old hands? 217 00:10:11,694 --> 00:10:14,196 - We're making goat's milk ice cream - Oooh... 218 00:10:14,280 --> 00:10:16,407 - And then we put this on like this. - Okay. 219 00:10:16,949 --> 00:10:19,243 I've been around a lot of balls today. 220 00:10:19,327 --> 00:10:21,912 - Is that good? - Man, this ball is... You just shake it? 221 00:10:24,332 --> 00:10:25,458 Here, I'll just shake. 222 00:10:25,541 --> 00:10:28,544 - Oh, I gotta shake it. Okay. - Yeah, you gotta... And then shake. 223 00:10:31,047 --> 00:10:33,007 And it's ready. No, I'm kidding. 224 00:10:33,090 --> 00:10:35,885 - And that's it. - Do you know who's coming over today? 225 00:10:35,968 --> 00:10:37,094 - Who? - Caitlyn Jenner. 226 00:10:37,178 --> 00:10:38,429 - Nuh-uh. - Yeah. 227 00:10:38,512 --> 00:10:40,181 - That's pretty cool. - It is pretty cool 228 00:10:40,264 --> 00:10:42,516 - Were you a Bruce Jenner decathlon... - I was too young. 229 00:10:42,600 --> 00:10:43,600 Oh, okay. 230 00:10:43,643 --> 00:10:45,912 I said to my kids, "You know, I'm meeting Caitlyn Jenner." 231 00:10:45,936 --> 00:10:48,206 They're like, "Who's Caitlyn Jenner?" I go, "Well, she's a 232 00:10:48,230 --> 00:10:50,858 older lady who won the men's decathlon in 1976." 233 00:10:50,941 --> 00:10:52,902 They're like, "What?" I was like, "Don't worry." 234 00:10:52,985 --> 00:10:54,570 You know, one day that won't sound odd? 235 00:10:54,654 --> 00:10:57,657 That's where the future's going. One day the kids will be like, "Hey, Dad, 236 00:10:57,740 --> 00:11:01,118 a lot of old ladies win the men's decathlon in 1976. 237 00:11:01,202 --> 00:11:02,119 100%. 238 00:11:02,203 --> 00:11:04,872 I think this is the most intimate I've ever been with a man. 239 00:11:04,955 --> 00:11:06,916 It's the most intimate we've ever gotten together. 240 00:11:06,999 --> 00:11:08,167 Fuck! 241 00:11:09,627 --> 00:11:11,629 - You went right to jet! - I got it in the hole. 242 00:11:11,712 --> 00:11:14,006 You saw a wrinkle and went right to jet! 243 00:11:14,090 --> 00:11:15,091 Am I straight? 244 00:11:16,133 --> 00:11:19,095 Am I currently cheating on my fiancée? 245 00:11:19,178 --> 00:11:21,222 We're both cheating in the worst way possible. 246 00:11:21,305 --> 00:11:23,182 When did you know you were gay? 247 00:11:23,265 --> 00:11:25,059 I came out at 25. 248 00:11:25,142 --> 00:11:27,812 What was your relationship with your dad? How was he with it? 249 00:11:27,895 --> 00:11:30,564 I think I was more nervous, 'cause I was just like 250 00:11:30,648 --> 00:11:32,733 I don't know how to do this with my dad. 251 00:11:32,817 --> 00:11:35,695 - Yeah. - And so I asked my mom to be there. 252 00:11:35,778 --> 00:11:37,547 - You told your mom first? - I told her first. 253 00:11:37,571 --> 00:11:39,949 I asked my mom to be there. We were in a park 254 00:11:40,533 --> 00:11:44,078 and I said to my dad, I'm like, "Dad, I gotta tell you, 255 00:11:44,161 --> 00:11:45,871 I'm gay." 256 00:11:45,955 --> 00:11:49,375 And he, because we've never had, like, a deep conversation, 257 00:11:49,458 --> 00:11:51,836 he didn't know what to say, 258 00:11:51,919 --> 00:11:54,547 but he wanted to support me, so he just kept going. 259 00:11:54,630 --> 00:11:57,383 "All right, you're my daughter. You're my daughter. 260 00:11:57,883 --> 00:11:58,926 I love you. 261 00:11:59,427 --> 00:12:02,179 You'll always be my daughter." And he kept saying it. 262 00:12:02,263 --> 00:12:07,268 And my mom was like, "Mike, she knows she's your daughter." 263 00:12:07,351 --> 00:12:09,645 "She's telling you she's gay." 264 00:12:09,729 --> 00:12:13,315 And all these people turn and I'm like, "Shut up, Mom!" 265 00:12:13,399 --> 00:12:16,652 "She's gay, Mike! Look at her!" 266 00:12:16,736 --> 00:12:19,739 - And he's like, "She's my daughter." - Then I'm yelling at my mom. 267 00:12:19,822 --> 00:12:21,323 - "Mom!" - "Get out of here!" 268 00:12:21,407 --> 00:12:23,701 "Well, you asked me to be here." 269 00:12:25,286 --> 00:12:27,163 It's a full-on family fight. 270 00:12:29,540 --> 00:12:31,917 - You ever milked a goat? - I've never milked anything. 271 00:12:33,085 --> 00:12:34,962 That looks like a sheep. Is a sheep a goat? 272 00:12:35,045 --> 00:12:37,006 Um... that does look like a sheep. 273 00:12:37,089 --> 00:12:40,009 - Well, what makes a better ice cream milk? - Goat's milk. 274 00:12:40,092 --> 00:12:42,803 - Okay. - We gotta try to jerk off the sheep too. 275 00:12:42,887 --> 00:12:45,222 You and I are gonna be... 276 00:12:45,306 --> 00:12:46,974 The double... 277 00:12:47,057 --> 00:12:49,143 Spring break '86! 278 00:12:49,226 --> 00:12:50,644 I should've come out to my dad. 279 00:12:50,728 --> 00:12:53,314 - As what? - Just, as gay, and see how he reacted 280 00:12:53,397 --> 00:12:54,857 to see if he really loved me. 281 00:12:54,940 --> 00:12:57,526 He'd probably know that you were messing with him. 282 00:12:57,610 --> 00:13:01,113 - I used to dress up as women in college. - What, like as a fraternity thing? 283 00:13:01,197 --> 00:13:02,364 No. 284 00:13:02,448 --> 00:13:05,576 - Just for shits and giggles. - More like, I could get away with it 285 00:13:05,659 --> 00:13:08,913 'cause I was a loud guy. We'd all dress up as chicks, just go out and party. 286 00:13:08,996 --> 00:13:12,625 - Like, in dresses? - More like a onesie for a woman. 287 00:13:12,708 --> 00:13:14,835 - Like, where it's... - Like a jumper or a romper? 288 00:13:14,919 --> 00:13:15,920 - A romper. - Yeah. 289 00:13:16,003 --> 00:13:18,339 Are you gonna bring the romper look back? 290 00:13:18,422 --> 00:13:20,582 I would bring it back in a heartbeat if I was skinnier. 291 00:13:20,633 --> 00:13:22,593 - Okay. - Fat romper looks never look good. 292 00:13:22,676 --> 00:13:25,054 - That's why I don't wear a romper. - Me either! 293 00:13:26,013 --> 00:13:27,973 Let's see if we can get milk out of this thing. 294 00:13:28,057 --> 00:13:30,726 - All right. Okay. - Here we go. 295 00:13:30,810 --> 00:13:32,102 All right, I got her. 296 00:13:32,186 --> 00:13:34,605 You really do not have her, for the record. 297 00:13:34,688 --> 00:13:37,024 All right, come on, baby. Here we go. 298 00:13:37,107 --> 00:13:38,651 No, not... 299 00:13:38,734 --> 00:13:40,236 Did you really just go like this? 300 00:13:40,319 --> 00:13:42,071 No, you go... 301 00:13:44,365 --> 00:13:45,407 Here! Here! 302 00:13:45,491 --> 00:13:47,243 - I'm going straight tap. - Okay, hold on. 303 00:13:48,702 --> 00:13:50,162 Oh, my God. 304 00:13:50,246 --> 00:13:51,246 Too much. 305 00:13:52,206 --> 00:13:54,041 - It's in my eyes. - Oh, my God. 306 00:13:55,167 --> 00:13:56,752 - It doesn't taste like I thought. - No. 307 00:13:56,836 --> 00:13:58,379 Good job. 308 00:13:58,462 --> 00:14:00,756 Why'd she leave? She couldn't stay the whole day? 309 00:14:00,840 --> 00:14:04,093 Uh... Long story, LeeAnn. I decided to wax my ass. 310 00:14:04,176 --> 00:14:05,176 What? 311 00:14:06,011 --> 00:14:07,012 Fortune! 312 00:14:07,137 --> 00:14:09,223 - Yeah. - I'm changing and I need your help. 313 00:14:09,306 --> 00:14:10,641 Okay. Hold on. 314 00:14:13,227 --> 00:14:14,311 Fortune! 315 00:14:15,396 --> 00:14:17,314 - Where are you? - Back here. 316 00:14:18,649 --> 00:14:19,817 - Fortune. - One second 317 00:14:19,900 --> 00:14:21,569 - Where are you going? - Hmm... 318 00:14:22,236 --> 00:14:25,823 I gotta get something out of my car. 319 00:14:25,906 --> 00:14:27,366 What are you getting in your car? 320 00:14:27,449 --> 00:14:29,451 - Fortune! - I'll be back! 321 00:14:30,619 --> 00:14:33,873 Fortune! I need your... Fortune! 322 00:14:35,374 --> 00:14:36,374 Fortune! 323 00:14:38,085 --> 00:14:39,085 I'd have needed help. 324 00:14:39,670 --> 00:14:41,881 And so I was going to do it and then have her help me 325 00:14:41,964 --> 00:14:43,507 and I guess it spooked her and she ran. 326 00:14:43,591 --> 00:14:44,693 - Oh, my God. - Yeah. I know. 327 00:14:44,717 --> 00:14:47,720 It all turned out good though. Nikki and Caitlyn are getting along great. 328 00:14:47,803 --> 00:14:50,973 - Okay, well, you have fun up there. - I will. 329 00:14:54,768 --> 00:14:56,395 Hey, you guys want to lasso? 330 00:14:56,478 --> 00:14:57,938 - Yeah. - Nikki, it's a rope. 331 00:14:58,022 --> 00:14:59,857 This remind you of any good dates? 332 00:14:59,940 --> 00:15:01,400 Good question, Caitlyn! 333 00:15:01,483 --> 00:15:04,129 - Wait, I don't get that joke. - No, it's not a joke, it's a question. 334 00:15:04,153 --> 00:15:06,780 - Do you like getting tied up? - Oh, my God. Yeah. 335 00:15:06,864 --> 00:15:08,991 - There it is. - No one's ever used a rope before. 336 00:15:09,074 --> 00:15:11,410 - That's why it didn't summon anything. - What is it, ties? 337 00:15:11,493 --> 00:15:15,456 Yeah, like restraints at the end. My boyfriend bought a whole rig. 338 00:15:15,539 --> 00:15:17,541 - Handcuffs. - Yeah. 339 00:15:17,625 --> 00:15:20,044 I like it because you don't have to do any work. 340 00:15:20,127 --> 00:15:21,170 I know. 341 00:15:21,253 --> 00:15:23,088 - I'm going to ask you a question. - Please. 342 00:15:23,172 --> 00:15:26,967 I can guarantee you it's a question you've never been asked before. 343 00:15:27,676 --> 00:15:29,678 When did you know you were a girl? 344 00:15:33,432 --> 00:15:36,602 When someone told me? I don't really know the answer to that. 345 00:15:36,685 --> 00:15:38,854 Bert, when did you know that you were a boy? 346 00:15:39,605 --> 00:15:42,066 I mean, I knew I was attracted to women. 347 00:15:42,149 --> 00:15:44,652 I remember the first time I saw Wonder Woman, I was like, 348 00:15:44,777 --> 00:15:46,528 "Oh, shit, that's a..." 349 00:15:46,612 --> 00:15:49,740 Here's the thing and where both of you are getting it a little bit wrong. 350 00:15:49,823 --> 00:15:51,325 - What? - Being trans 351 00:15:51,408 --> 00:15:53,702 has nothing to do with sexuality. 352 00:15:53,786 --> 00:15:56,664 It has everything to do with identity. 353 00:15:56,747 --> 00:15:59,166 Too many people think of it as "you're gay." 354 00:15:59,249 --> 00:16:02,294 I mean, people, "Oh, my God, was Bruce gay all the time?" 355 00:16:02,378 --> 00:16:06,799 No, it had nothing to do with sexuality, it had it all to do with gender identity. 356 00:16:06,882 --> 00:16:08,175 You just cleared that up for me. 357 00:16:08,258 --> 00:16:10,552 That's why they changed the name from transsexual, 358 00:16:10,636 --> 00:16:13,722 because it had a sexual orientation, to transgender. 359 00:16:13,806 --> 00:16:14,640 Right. 360 00:16:14,723 --> 00:16:16,433 Caitlyn, do you like getting kinky? 361 00:16:16,517 --> 00:16:18,936 - Do I like getting kinky? - Like, tied up and stuff? 362 00:16:19,019 --> 00:16:21,188 - No, honestly I don't. Yeah. - Really? I do. 363 00:16:21,271 --> 00:16:22,690 I'm so boring. 364 00:16:22,773 --> 00:16:26,235 - Bert, have you ever tied LeeAnn up? - I asked her if I could tie her up once 365 00:16:26,318 --> 00:16:28,195 and she said, "Why?" 366 00:16:28,278 --> 00:16:31,073 She goes, "You have heart problems, what if you have a heart attack?" 367 00:16:31,907 --> 00:16:33,242 - Hey! - Wow, good job! 368 00:16:33,325 --> 00:16:35,244 This story's going somewhere! We got a lasso. 369 00:16:35,327 --> 00:16:36,537 You guys are talking sex, 370 00:16:36,620 --> 00:16:38,372 - I'm practicing. - I know. 371 00:16:38,455 --> 00:16:40,416 - Do you still run? - No, I don't. 372 00:16:40,499 --> 00:16:42,960 I have not run since the day of the Games. 373 00:16:43,043 --> 00:16:43,961 Oh, my God. 374 00:16:44,044 --> 00:16:46,338 Did your dad get to see you win the Olympics? 375 00:16:46,880 --> 00:16:47,715 Yes. 376 00:16:47,798 --> 00:16:49,591 - Oh, shut up! - Actually... Yeah. 377 00:16:49,675 --> 00:16:54,096 Everything about me ultimately comes down to wanting my dad to be proud of me. 378 00:16:54,179 --> 00:16:56,432 Well, that's one thing that bothers me now. 379 00:16:56,515 --> 00:16:58,392 He's the only one that 380 00:16:58,976 --> 00:17:02,646 didn't have the opportunity to see me live my life authentically. 381 00:17:02,730 --> 00:17:05,524 At first, I think he would say, "You're what?" 382 00:17:05,607 --> 00:17:06,942 Yeah. 383 00:17:07,484 --> 00:17:11,155 'Cause I never showed any signs of it, it was something I lived with internally, 384 00:17:11,238 --> 00:17:14,992 but I would hope to think that once he saw the things that I was doing 385 00:17:15,075 --> 00:17:19,371 and trying to bring understanding to a lot of these issues... 386 00:17:19,830 --> 00:17:21,790 Hmm... Yeah, I think he'd be proud. 387 00:17:23,292 --> 00:17:25,002 Do you think we're going to become friends? 388 00:17:25,878 --> 00:17:26,712 No. 389 00:17:28,630 --> 00:17:30,257 - Sorry, I laughed. - Nikki, you and I... 390 00:17:30,758 --> 00:17:31,592 the best. 391 00:17:31,675 --> 00:17:34,887 Yes! Yes, that is all I've ever wanted. 392 00:17:34,970 --> 00:17:37,056 Just 'cause you guys are the same shoe size. 393 00:17:37,139 --> 00:17:39,808 Oh, my God. Is Kendall too? 394 00:17:39,892 --> 00:17:42,052 Do you ever ask your daughters if you can borrow money? 395 00:17:43,395 --> 00:17:44,646 No, but you know what? 396 00:17:44,730 --> 00:17:46,190 - I have ten children... - Yeah? 397 00:17:46,273 --> 00:17:49,151 ...and not one child has ever asked me for a dime. 398 00:17:49,735 --> 00:17:50,735 Wow! 399 00:17:50,778 --> 00:17:52,738 That is a good parent. 400 00:17:52,821 --> 00:17:55,324 - That's a good parent. - That's bringing them up right, baby. 401 00:17:55,407 --> 00:17:57,177 - That's good. - This is gonna be my daughters, 402 00:17:57,201 --> 00:18:00,287 "Dad, I've got a business plan. I've started making dream catchers 403 00:18:00,370 --> 00:18:02,539 and I was thinking if you put them on your Instagram, 404 00:18:02,623 --> 00:18:04,291 we could sell a lot of dream catchers." 405 00:18:04,374 --> 00:18:06,186 - I'd buy one. - How many followers do you have? 406 00:18:06,210 --> 00:18:07,836 - A million. - How many you got? 407 00:18:07,920 --> 00:18:10,339 - Uh... half a million. I have a good following. 408 00:18:10,422 --> 00:18:14,551 Maybe what we could do is I'll post something the two of us together. 409 00:18:15,511 --> 00:18:18,889 Hey, guys, what am I? The fucking Ghost of Christmas Past? 410 00:18:18,972 --> 00:18:20,140 I'm right here. 411 00:18:20,224 --> 00:18:22,392 She doesn't wanna be friends with you, Bert. 412 00:18:22,476 --> 00:18:24,686 In my family, I'm nobody as far as Instagram. 413 00:18:24,770 --> 00:18:26,814 - Well... - No shit. 414 00:18:26,897 --> 00:18:29,000 - I have ten million followers. - You have ten million? 415 00:18:29,024 --> 00:18:30,264 You have ten million followers? 416 00:18:30,317 --> 00:18:33,987 Put these down, let's get our phones out and send out a fucking tweet! 417 00:18:34,071 --> 00:18:38,200 Shit, everybody, what's up? Caitlyn, me and Nikki! 418 00:18:38,283 --> 00:18:40,369 - Hanging out. Besties! - Hey! 419 00:18:40,452 --> 00:18:42,204 - Okay, now I tag you. - Follow them! 420 00:18:42,287 --> 00:18:45,082 No, you're going to re-post it and then they're going to follow us. 421 00:18:45,165 --> 00:18:48,001 - I'm gonna post this? Okay. - Don't worry, I got you. 422 00:18:48,085 --> 00:18:51,797 Do you think, after our Instagram post, any of your famous children will... 423 00:18:51,880 --> 00:18:53,507 - Cheers. - No, I want more wine. 424 00:18:53,590 --> 00:18:55,884 Jesus Christ, it's not all about you. 425 00:18:55,968 --> 00:18:57,761 - I am so sorry. - It's out already? 426 00:18:57,845 --> 00:19:00,347 Oh, my God. I got a half a glass! 427 00:19:00,430 --> 00:19:01,682 I killed it, I'm sorry. 428 00:19:01,765 --> 00:19:03,976 I've been listening. I'm an active listener. 429 00:19:04,059 --> 00:19:07,229 Do you think any of your children will follow us after our Instagram post? 430 00:19:09,106 --> 00:19:09,982 Doubt it. 431 00:19:10,065 --> 00:19:12,693 - Fuck. - I'm going to earn it the right way. 432 00:19:12,776 --> 00:19:15,821 If you bring Nikki into your inner circle before me, I'm going to be so hurt. 433 00:19:15,904 --> 00:19:19,992 - We exchanged numbers already. - You did not exchange numbers! 434 00:19:20,075 --> 00:19:21,535 - Yeah, we did. Sorry. - Yep. 435 00:19:24,955 --> 00:19:27,142 - We're going to shoot from here? - Let's do it. 436 00:19:27,166 --> 00:19:30,627 Hang on, wait! No, hold on. That doesn't mean just start shooting. 437 00:19:30,711 --> 00:19:33,130 - I haven't told you what to do. - Okay. Yeah. 438 00:19:33,213 --> 00:19:34,423 Jesus Christ, Nikki. 439 00:19:34,506 --> 00:19:36,091 I guess you're Johnny Appleseed and... 440 00:19:36,175 --> 00:19:38,278 Johnny Appleseed's the guy that got everyone pregnant. 441 00:19:38,302 --> 00:19:39,803 - Okay. - This is William Tell. 442 00:19:39,887 --> 00:19:43,098 That was my idea from a long time ago. I've always wanted to do William Tell. 443 00:19:43,182 --> 00:19:45,809 That was really fun. Thank you for sacrificing yourself to us. 444 00:19:45,893 --> 00:19:46,810 That was very good. 445 00:19:46,894 --> 00:19:49,354 - All right, here we go. - Caitlyn, that's right at my face. 446 00:19:49,438 --> 00:19:50,856 This is gonna hit me in the throat. 447 00:19:52,149 --> 00:19:54,193 Ooh! Mine was close. 448 00:19:54,276 --> 00:19:56,737 Bert, do your interview. What's going on here, dude? 449 00:19:56,820 --> 00:19:59,114 - I'm trying to. - This is your show, be a professional. 450 00:19:59,198 --> 00:20:03,076 - Be a professional. - So, Caitlyn... 451 00:20:03,160 --> 00:20:06,580 Oh! 452 00:20:07,456 --> 00:20:09,559 - Caitlyn, can I ask you a question? - Yeah, go ahead. 453 00:20:09,583 --> 00:20:11,043 - You ask her, Nikki! - What is it? 454 00:20:11,126 --> 00:20:12,966 - Do you miss peeing standing up? - Not at all. 455 00:20:14,087 --> 00:20:16,673 To be honest with you, in the old days, I never stood up. 456 00:20:16,757 --> 00:20:17,841 Ha! 457 00:20:17,925 --> 00:20:19,593 - I don't stand up either! - Yeah! 458 00:20:19,676 --> 00:20:22,512 Yes! That's awesome. Why should...? I wouldn't either. 459 00:20:22,596 --> 00:20:24,056 Sitting's awesome. 460 00:20:24,139 --> 00:20:27,059 All I'm thinking is the huge missed opportunity 461 00:20:27,142 --> 00:20:29,353 for me to do this entire episode dressed as a woman. 462 00:20:30,312 --> 00:20:34,316 I could have been legit and experimented... 463 00:20:34,399 --> 00:20:39,029 to see how I felt while we do all this fun stuff outside. 464 00:20:39,613 --> 00:20:43,533 I've brought all sorts of people out. But anyways, so... 465 00:20:43,617 --> 00:20:46,328 - Are you wearing a cup, Bert? - No, let me tuck it in between. 466 00:20:46,411 --> 00:20:48,038 Okay, yeah, tuck it. 467 00:20:48,121 --> 00:20:50,332 - My balls, I got a fruit basket. - Wash your hands! 468 00:20:50,415 --> 00:20:52,335 I'm not sharing the veggie tray with you anymore. 469 00:20:53,085 --> 00:20:54,711 Oh! 470 00:20:54,795 --> 00:20:57,256 - Come on, that was good! - Oh, shit! Dude. 471 00:20:57,339 --> 00:21:00,592 Aim for the head, then last second, go down and boom, hit him low. 472 00:21:00,676 --> 00:21:01,551 - Okay. - Are you ready? 473 00:21:01,635 --> 00:21:03,011 All right, start high. 474 00:21:03,095 --> 00:21:06,098 On three. One, two, three. 475 00:21:07,015 --> 00:21:09,017 Yeah. 476 00:21:09,101 --> 00:21:12,104 All right, that's a wrap for bow and arrows. 477 00:21:15,065 --> 00:21:18,026 Dad, you're never going to guess who I have on the show today. 478 00:21:18,110 --> 00:21:19,361 Caitlyn Jenner. 479 00:21:22,406 --> 00:21:23,406 Did Mom tell you? 480 00:21:24,032 --> 00:21:25,575 Yes. 481 00:21:25,659 --> 00:21:27,494 Do you remember watching her in the Olympics? 482 00:21:27,577 --> 00:21:30,789 You might have watched her with me. You were about 3.5 years old at the time. 483 00:21:30,872 --> 00:21:34,418 - Wow! - It was the '76 Olympics in Montreal. 484 00:21:34,501 --> 00:21:37,921 Absolutely, I saw her run the 1,500 meters 485 00:21:38,005 --> 00:21:41,174 to win the decathlon and set a world record, she was incredible. 486 00:21:41,258 --> 00:21:44,428 - What should I talk to her about? - Well, first of all, be very respectful. 487 00:21:44,511 --> 00:21:46,930 - Obviously, yeah. - All right, if it's obvious, 488 00:21:47,014 --> 00:21:50,642 - I won't give you further advice. - No. I'm not going to be disrespectful. 489 00:21:50,726 --> 00:21:52,394 Do you think she's the kind of person, 490 00:21:52,477 --> 00:21:54,604 that if you mixed up her pronouns to her 491 00:21:54,688 --> 00:21:56,523 that she'd be upset or would she roll with it? 492 00:21:56,606 --> 00:22:00,235 She would probably go with it because many people think of her as Bruce. 493 00:22:00,736 --> 00:22:03,405 Caitlyn Jenner at that time was a real stud. 494 00:22:03,488 --> 00:22:05,657 I mean, good-looking, personable. 495 00:22:05,741 --> 00:22:09,494 Everywhere you looked, you saw, whether it was on the cereal box or commercials, 496 00:22:09,578 --> 00:22:10,954 pictures of Jenner. 497 00:22:11,038 --> 00:22:13,707 My memories of those days are Bruce Jenner 498 00:22:13,790 --> 00:22:15,630 and I don't think she would be offended at all. 499 00:22:16,168 --> 00:22:18,045 I think that's how many people remember her. 500 00:22:18,128 --> 00:22:20,048 She's in the other room, you want to talk to her? 501 00:22:20,088 --> 00:22:21,798 - Sure. - Okay, hold on one sec. 502 00:22:23,800 --> 00:22:26,553 You know my dad's losing his shit right now that I'm with you. 503 00:22:26,636 --> 00:22:27,637 - Really? - Hardcore. 504 00:22:27,721 --> 00:22:30,057 My dad was a huge track and field guy. 505 00:22:30,140 --> 00:22:32,642 Obsessed with running, growing up. 506 00:22:32,726 --> 00:22:35,479 And so the fact that you're here is, like, I'm picking your brain... 507 00:22:35,562 --> 00:22:39,024 - Is your dad still around? - My dad wants to FaceTime you and say hi. 508 00:22:39,107 --> 00:22:41,485 - Oh, good. - My dad's like, "Buddy, 509 00:22:41,568 --> 00:22:46,531 you have no idea. Ask her if she... Did she ever pole vault with aluminum poles? 510 00:22:46,615 --> 00:22:47,783 I'm really curious..." 511 00:22:49,117 --> 00:22:51,912 In high school, that's all they had was an aluminum pole 512 00:22:51,995 --> 00:22:54,790 and then pretty soon I started getting fiberglass poles. 513 00:22:54,873 --> 00:22:57,376 And all of the sudden, the world record jumped up a foot. 514 00:22:57,459 --> 00:22:58,919 - Immediately. - Yeah. 515 00:22:59,002 --> 00:23:00,253 I'm gonna get Dad on the phone. 516 00:23:01,004 --> 00:23:02,672 - Hey. - Hey, how you doing? 517 00:23:02,756 --> 00:23:04,257 - Hang on. Caitlyn Jenner. - Al. 518 00:23:04,341 --> 00:23:07,094 Hey, how are you? I've been a big fan for many years. 519 00:23:07,177 --> 00:23:08,303 Well, thank you. 520 00:23:08,387 --> 00:23:10,180 That's very nice of you to say. 521 00:23:10,263 --> 00:23:11,973 Bert's told me a lot about you. 522 00:23:12,057 --> 00:23:14,393 Yeah, I went to Villanova, I actually ran track there. 523 00:23:14,476 --> 00:23:15,310 Oh, okay. 524 00:23:15,394 --> 00:23:18,897 I was telling Bert, the decathlon, I don't know how you train for that. 525 00:23:18,980 --> 00:23:21,775 It's hard enough to train for one event let alone ten... 526 00:23:21,858 --> 00:23:23,693 Yeah, you know what? 527 00:23:23,777 --> 00:23:27,322 Well, briefly, you have to look at it as a whole, not as ten events. 528 00:23:27,406 --> 00:23:29,741 Each event contradicts the next, 529 00:23:29,825 --> 00:23:32,911 so how can you train to become the best hundred-meter man 530 00:23:32,994 --> 00:23:35,497 on the same day you're best 1,500-meter man, 531 00:23:35,580 --> 00:23:38,375 but that was kind of... The longer the race the better I was 532 00:23:38,458 --> 00:23:39,918 compared to everybody else. 533 00:23:40,001 --> 00:23:43,046 To see your mile time was incredible, I thought, especially at the end of it. 534 00:23:43,130 --> 00:23:44,423 Yeah. Al... 535 00:23:44,756 --> 00:23:46,425 - We wanted to kick it in big. - Yeah. 536 00:23:46,508 --> 00:23:50,345 I didn't run for 12 years of my life and 70 miles a week 537 00:23:50,429 --> 00:23:53,098 - to run the last 400 meters slow. - God. 538 00:23:53,181 --> 00:23:55,559 Well, anyways, it's very nice to meet you. 539 00:23:55,642 --> 00:23:58,854 - Yeah, you're a hero. - Well, thank you. I appreciate that. 540 00:23:58,937 --> 00:24:01,106 Thank you. It's a real pleasure to talk to you. 541 00:24:01,189 --> 00:24:03,775 - Nice talking to you. - All right, Dad. I love you. 542 00:24:03,859 --> 00:24:05,610 - Bye. - Okay, bud. I love you. 543 00:24:05,694 --> 00:24:07,446 I'm gonna get emotional real quick. 544 00:24:10,991 --> 00:24:15,162 I'm not... I've never heard my dad talk to anyone like that. 545 00:24:15,245 --> 00:24:16,245 Really? 546 00:24:21,501 --> 00:24:24,838 My dad is not impressed by celebrity at all. 547 00:24:24,921 --> 00:24:26,756 It doesn't register to him. 548 00:24:28,175 --> 00:24:30,177 When my dad said, 549 00:24:31,887 --> 00:24:33,138 "You're a real hero." 550 00:24:34,306 --> 00:24:38,059 I've never heard him talk like that about anybody ever in my whole life. 551 00:24:38,143 --> 00:24:39,644 I've never heard him say that. 552 00:24:40,854 --> 00:24:41,938 Caught me off guard. 553 00:24:42,981 --> 00:24:46,610 You mean so much to him at that time in his life when I think he was lost 554 00:24:46,693 --> 00:24:48,862 and trying to figure out who he was gonna be 555 00:24:48,945 --> 00:24:51,990 and he left sports behind and he was watching you succeed. 556 00:24:53,116 --> 00:24:56,870 You just gave your dad a gift that he would have never had 557 00:24:56,953 --> 00:25:00,999 had you not done all of this and been in a position to... 558 00:25:01,708 --> 00:25:03,293 introduce him to his hero. 559 00:25:03,376 --> 00:25:07,756 I can't wait to call him tonight and go, "It was fiberglass poles." 560 00:25:13,720 --> 00:25:15,600 Caitlyn, the major reason I brought you out here 561 00:25:15,680 --> 00:25:18,517 is because you have been so connected with "body," 562 00:25:18,600 --> 00:25:22,562 from the Olympics to where you are now. All I need is one solid sentence 563 00:25:22,646 --> 00:25:26,900 of where I need to go, what I need to do, where I need to have my head. 564 00:25:27,442 --> 00:25:28,442 Give me a sentence. 565 00:25:29,402 --> 00:25:30,403 There's no hope. 566 00:25:30,487 --> 00:25:31,863 That was a death sentence. 567 00:25:31,947 --> 00:25:34,074 - Cool. - There's just no hope. Do you think? 568 00:25:34,616 --> 00:25:36,660 I think it's just, it's over for him. 569 00:25:37,285 --> 00:25:39,162 - He's too old. - "He's too old." 570 00:25:39,246 --> 00:25:41,831 We're all going to die. You probably sooner. 571 00:25:42,332 --> 00:25:44,668 - Yes. - Fucking... What the fuck? 572 00:25:44,751 --> 00:25:47,003 - This is spiraling. - She's just being honest with you. 573 00:25:47,087 --> 00:25:49,965 I'm just being honest, which you probably don't want to hear. 574 00:25:51,091 --> 00:25:52,717 - How you doing, babe? - I'm good. 575 00:25:52,801 --> 00:25:54,678 - It was a great day. - It was? 576 00:25:54,761 --> 00:25:57,222 Yeah, I did not expect it to turn out the way it did. 577 00:25:57,305 --> 00:26:00,725 I talked to Dad this morning, and he was so excited. 578 00:26:00,809 --> 00:26:04,062 I've never seen him like that ever and I just was... I started crying. 579 00:26:04,145 --> 00:26:06,022 - You did? Aww! - Yeah. 580 00:26:06,106 --> 00:26:08,692 He watched Caitlyn Jenner right when I was born. 581 00:26:08,775 --> 00:26:12,571 Those Olympics, he had just had a kid and he knew he would never run again. 582 00:26:12,654 --> 00:26:14,781 I think those Olympics connected with him. 583 00:26:14,864 --> 00:26:16,032 That's so amazing. 584 00:26:16,116 --> 00:26:17,993 What a great gift you gave your dad. 585 00:26:18,118 --> 00:26:20,745 - I had a blast. - Aww! Well, that's nice. 586 00:26:20,829 --> 00:26:23,832 - You made a friend. - Yep, I'm friends with my dad's hero. 587 00:26:25,125 --> 00:26:27,544 Well, I'm very proud of you. Sounds like you did a great job. 588 00:26:27,627 --> 00:26:30,046 - I love you. I'm going to bed now. - I love you too, babe. 589 00:26:30,130 --> 00:26:31,339 - Have a good night. - Bye. 590 00:26:35,409 --> 00:26:37,409 >>>>oakislandtk<<<<< www.opensubtitles.org 48660

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