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Would you like to inspect the original subtitles? These are the user uploaded subtitles that are being translated: 1 00:00:49,840 --> 00:00:51,775 I can't believe we gotta do this shit, man. 2 00:00:51,776 --> 00:00:53,444 This thing's been in the ground three fuckin' months. 3 00:00:53,445 --> 00:00:55,680 - You know what it's gonna smell like? - Yeah, I know. 4 00:00:55,681 --> 00:00:58,915 Stop bitching and let's just get this thing outta here. 5 00:01:02,285 --> 00:01:05,856 I remember about 10 years ago, I had to do the same shit. 6 00:01:05,857 --> 00:01:09,258 I almost died from the fucking stench. 7 00:01:10,194 --> 00:01:13,763 Oh, God. Here. 8 00:01:14,565 --> 00:01:18,169 All right. Let's do this. 9 00:01:30,214 --> 00:01:34,617 Oh, fuck. I'm gonna break my neck out here. 10 00:01:37,521 --> 00:01:42,725 - Hey, Danny. How much further? - Not far... just keep walking. 11 00:01:46,430 --> 00:01:49,633 - What the fuck? - What is that? 12 00:01:49,634 --> 00:01:52,336 Do you think some kind of animal or something could have did this? 13 00:01:52,337 --> 00:01:54,605 How the fuck is an animal gonna dig a hole like that? 14 00:01:54,606 --> 00:01:56,361 Louie, gimme that flashlight. Carmine. 15 00:01:56,387 --> 00:01:57,942 - What? - Come here. 16 00:01:57,943 --> 00:02:01,310 Go down and see if there is anything there. 17 00:02:01,979 --> 00:02:04,546 - Cock. - Thank you. 18 00:02:05,516 --> 00:02:08,752 Louie, help me out. I'm not a fucking kangaroo. 19 00:02:11,223 --> 00:02:14,925 There ain't nothing down here. And I don't smell nothing neither. 20 00:02:14,926 --> 00:02:17,995 Really, Carmine? You don't smell a rat down there? 21 00:02:21,699 --> 00:02:24,800 - Big "V" sends his regards. - Louie! Louie, Louie, Louie! 22 00:02:30,641 --> 00:02:34,610 Let's bury the rat and just get the fuck outta here. 23 00:02:37,148 --> 00:02:38,782 I don't even know where the fuck we are. 24 00:02:38,783 --> 00:02:41,018 Why'd we have to come all the way out here to do this? 25 00:02:41,019 --> 00:02:43,954 We've been burying pricks like this out here for years. 26 00:02:43,955 --> 00:02:47,558 If these woods could only talk, we'd all be in the can. 27 00:03:19,557 --> 00:03:20,824 Who's over there? 28 00:03:22,494 --> 00:03:23,661 Danny, look out! 29 00:03:23,662 --> 00:03:25,296 Danny, no! 30 00:05:30,954 --> 00:05:33,023 That is so pretty, you're gonna look so hot. 31 00:05:34,959 --> 00:05:37,060 Pull it down, you don't wanna give away the milk for free. 32 00:05:37,061 --> 00:05:38,762 It'll get so much lighter with the sun. 33 00:05:38,763 --> 00:05:41,064 You have such a nice butt, like J.Lo. 34 00:05:43,067 --> 00:05:44,935 Right here. 35 00:05:53,144 --> 00:05:57,448 - Can somebody pick up the phone? - Why don't you answer the phone, bitch? 36 00:05:57,449 --> 00:05:58,882 Don't you dare call her bitch. 37 00:05:58,883 --> 00:06:01,785 I'll shove this curling iron right up your fat fucking ass, bitch. 38 00:06:01,786 --> 00:06:03,819 I'll get the phone. 39 00:06:08,992 --> 00:06:13,163 A Touch of Class, Teresa speaking. Hold on... Ricardo. 40 00:06:13,164 --> 00:06:17,501 It's for you. He says that his name is Monty. 41 00:06:17,502 --> 00:06:18,502 Ugh. 42 00:06:21,739 --> 00:06:25,142 Excuse me. Who do you think you are, calling me at work? 43 00:06:25,443 --> 00:06:30,812 Oh, no, and don't ever call me again! Yech! Ay, Dios mio. 44 00:06:31,615 --> 00:06:33,684 - I like this outfit... - Who's Monty? 45 00:06:33,685 --> 00:06:37,687 Oh, some pig I met online last night. We were chatting for just 10 minutes 46 00:06:37,713 --> 00:06:40,757 and he expects me to drive to his place at 1:00 a.m. 47 00:06:40,758 --> 00:06:43,694 I said, "No, you can't just pick up the phone 48 00:06:43,695 --> 00:06:47,564 "and send for me in the middle of the night. What do you think I am, Pizza Slut?" 49 00:06:48,833 --> 00:06:50,901 Mira, I have a picture of the slob. 50 00:06:50,902 --> 00:06:52,603 - Ugh. - Is it the full Monty? 51 00:06:52,604 --> 00:06:53,770 Yeah, that's the pig. 52 00:06:54,906 --> 00:06:58,309 He's cute. Should have called me last night. I deliver. 53 00:06:58,310 --> 00:07:00,878 Listen, honey, unless your pizza has pepperoni, 54 00:07:00,879 --> 00:07:02,846 don't even bother heating up your oven. 55 00:07:04,548 --> 00:07:06,617 Come on, Dina. I want to beat the traffic. 56 00:07:06,618 --> 00:07:09,286 All done. Let me just get my things. 57 00:07:09,287 --> 00:07:11,588 Where the hell are you two going? 58 00:07:11,589 --> 00:07:14,525 Down the shore for a girls' weekend of sun and sin. 59 00:07:15,827 --> 00:07:17,794 Maybe the two of youse can either drown 60 00:07:17,795 --> 00:07:20,731 or get eaten by a shark and make it a holiday for all of us. 61 00:07:20,732 --> 00:07:24,635 Heh, or who knows? Maybe we'll find a beached whale and name her Christy. 62 00:07:24,636 --> 00:07:28,739 Oh, sounds like fun. And while you're looking for Mr. Right, 63 00:07:28,740 --> 00:07:31,074 Dina can sample all the Mr. Right Nows. 64 00:07:32,310 --> 00:07:33,777 You said it, not me. 65 00:07:33,778 --> 00:07:35,812 - Whatever. - I'm out of here. 66 00:07:35,813 --> 00:07:37,681 I just kidding... you know you fabulous. 67 00:07:37,682 --> 00:07:41,818 - You look so pretty. You look so good. - I tell her that every time. 68 00:07:41,819 --> 00:07:43,687 It's like a shelf up here. They just hold up. 69 00:07:43,688 --> 00:07:44,955 I don't know how she does it. 70 00:07:44,956 --> 00:07:47,558 - I made it! - Hey! 71 00:07:47,559 --> 00:07:48,859 - Mwah! - Hey! 72 00:07:48,860 --> 00:07:52,062 - Oh, you're not working today, Gigi. - You got that right. 73 00:07:52,063 --> 00:07:55,632 Oh, chica, you too? Wait, am I the only girl not going? 74 00:07:55,633 --> 00:07:59,836 - Next time, we'll invite you, I promise. - What am I gonna do this weekend? 75 00:07:59,837 --> 00:08:01,104 - Aww. - I don't know. 76 00:08:01,105 --> 00:08:03,006 Maybe you should ask Monty. 77 00:08:03,007 --> 00:08:06,643 You get out of here, you... Good-bye. 78 00:08:10,381 --> 00:08:12,916 Hello, Monty? 79 00:08:13,317 --> 00:08:15,652 Yes, I'll taste your chorizo. 80 00:08:16,654 --> 00:08:19,156 Come on! 81 00:08:19,157 --> 00:08:21,258 Come on, Gigi, let's go! 82 00:08:21,259 --> 00:08:23,894 All right, Dina, she's coming, she's coming. 83 00:08:23,895 --> 00:08:26,330 Come on, Gigi, we want to beat the traffic. 84 00:08:26,331 --> 00:08:29,331 Okay, Seaside Heights, here we come! 85 00:08:30,334 --> 00:08:32,369 Michael, what are you doing here? 86 00:08:32,370 --> 00:08:35,606 I was just driving by, and I saw your mother drop you off. Where you going? 87 00:08:35,607 --> 00:08:38,609 Not that it's any of your business, but I'm going down the shore to see the girls. 88 00:08:38,610 --> 00:08:40,944 Well, I might be there too. So maybe we should all hook up. 89 00:08:40,945 --> 00:08:42,679 That is so not happening, Michael. 90 00:08:42,680 --> 00:08:45,682 I just don't want you going down the shore with a car full of single girls. 91 00:08:45,683 --> 00:08:47,684 Would you rather I go in a car full of single guys? 92 00:08:47,685 --> 00:08:50,921 Don't be stupid, Gigi, you know you're still my girl. Show me a little love. 93 00:08:50,922 --> 00:08:54,191 It's not happening, Michael! Now, go do something with Tony and Fat Angelo, 94 00:08:54,192 --> 00:08:56,227 - and I'll call you on Monday. - So it's like that? 95 00:08:56,228 --> 00:08:59,096 - Yeah, Michael, it's exactly like that! - Yeah, it's like that. 96 00:08:59,097 --> 00:09:01,665 - Dina! - What... he's a dick. 97 00:09:01,666 --> 00:09:03,266 - Dina! - Hey, fuck you, Dina! 98 00:09:03,267 --> 00:09:07,771 Yeah, fuck all youse! You're gonna regret this day, Gigi. Remember I said that. 99 00:09:07,772 --> 00:09:10,040 - What's that supposed to mean? - Means drop dead! 100 00:09:10,041 --> 00:09:12,408 Fuck off, Michael! 101 00:09:17,081 --> 00:09:19,750 - What the fuck, Gigi? - I don't know. 102 00:09:19,751 --> 00:09:21,385 I don't know what the fuck I'm doing anymore. 103 00:09:21,386 --> 00:09:24,388 I mean, one minute, I think I love him, and then the next, 104 00:09:24,389 --> 00:09:26,957 I wanna knock his fucking head off and throw it in the river. 105 00:09:26,958 --> 00:09:30,193 - Like right now? - Yes, I think so. 106 00:09:30,194 --> 00:09:33,030 But he really is sweet, though, don't youse think? 107 00:09:33,031 --> 00:09:35,499 - So are you single or what? - Yeah, right now, I am. 108 00:09:35,500 --> 00:09:37,668 You don't see no fucking ring on my finger, do you? 109 00:09:37,669 --> 00:09:39,870 No, but if you really think that there's a chance 110 00:09:39,871 --> 00:09:43,273 for you and Michael, don't go hooking up with every guy in New Jersey 111 00:09:43,274 --> 00:09:45,242 just to prove to yourself you're single. 112 00:09:45,243 --> 00:09:46,743 Fuck you, Dina! 113 00:09:46,744 --> 00:09:48,779 No, no, no, no, no... I'm with Gigi. 114 00:09:48,780 --> 00:09:51,181 Until you're married, you do whatever the hell you want 115 00:09:51,182 --> 00:09:53,932 with whoever the hell you want, whenever the hell you want, 116 00:09:53,958 --> 00:09:56,854 'cause guess what, Teresa? Life's just too fuckin' short. 117 00:09:56,855 --> 00:10:00,457 Okay... next topic. When are the girls meeting us down in Seaside? 118 00:10:00,458 --> 00:10:04,690 Uh, Joanne said that she, Candi, and Val left Brooklyn almost an hour ago, 119 00:10:04,716 --> 00:10:08,131 and that Val's cousin Rosemarie can't make it till tomorrow night. 120 00:10:08,132 --> 00:10:12,135 So in other words, they could have stopped for hot dogs. 121 00:10:12,136 --> 00:10:14,604 Or they're banging three guidos at a turnpike rest stop. 122 00:10:14,605 --> 00:10:16,738 Eww. 123 00:10:19,310 --> 00:10:21,378 Oh, my God, speak of the fucking devil. 124 00:10:23,815 --> 00:10:25,716 - Almost fucking killed us. - Oh, my God. 125 00:10:25,717 --> 00:10:28,414 You should have seen the old man's face at the toll booth. 126 00:10:28,415 --> 00:10:30,185 He was so funny, ha! 127 00:10:30,188 --> 00:10:34,424 - Put your tops back on and follow us. - Yeah, Jersey Shore! 128 00:11:14,798 --> 00:11:17,067 Are you sure this is the right house, Dina? 129 00:11:17,068 --> 00:11:19,501 Yeah, I'm fuckin' sure. 130 00:11:21,204 --> 00:11:23,338 Come on. 131 00:11:24,207 --> 00:11:27,077 Hello? What do you think you're doing here? 132 00:11:27,078 --> 00:11:29,913 Excuse me? This is our rental. 133 00:11:29,914 --> 00:11:32,382 - What are you doing here? - Nice try, chonga. 134 00:11:32,383 --> 00:11:35,919 This is our house, so get the hell out. Take your little rat dog with you. 135 00:11:35,920 --> 00:11:38,121 Who are you calling chonga, bruja? 136 00:11:38,122 --> 00:11:40,524 Don't be scared, Pico. I won't let her eat you. 137 00:11:40,525 --> 00:11:44,828 I'm calling all of youse chonga. And I'm calling the owner right now. 138 00:11:44,829 --> 00:11:49,366 You no have to call, okay? He lives right there, and I just gave him our check. 139 00:11:49,367 --> 00:11:51,368 - Really? - Mm-hmm. 140 00:11:51,769 --> 00:11:55,470 We'll see about that. Girls. 141 00:12:08,118 --> 00:12:10,954 Well... Hello there, ladies. 142 00:12:10,955 --> 00:12:13,490 I'm Ronnie... what can I do you for? 143 00:12:13,491 --> 00:12:15,358 Yeah, Ronnie, we spoke on the phone a month ago 144 00:12:15,359 --> 00:12:18,161 to confirm our reservation for the house this weekend. 145 00:12:18,562 --> 00:12:22,499 Oh, yeah! Your friend just gave me a check, so we're cool. 146 00:12:22,500 --> 00:12:26,303 - Romero, right? - No... Romano. 147 00:12:26,304 --> 00:12:28,305 Dina Romano, you idiot. 148 00:12:28,306 --> 00:12:31,975 Romano. You're not all together? 149 00:12:31,976 --> 00:12:35,312 Uh, give me a minute. Don't go away... hold on, just wait. 150 00:12:35,313 --> 00:12:37,746 Wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait. 151 00:12:45,421 --> 00:12:50,060 Here it is. You're Romano. They're Romero. 152 00:12:50,061 --> 00:12:51,995 ♪ Romano, Romero, Romano ♪ 153 00:12:51,996 --> 00:12:56,499 You're two different parties. That explains everything. 154 00:12:56,500 --> 00:12:58,701 Fine... so can you get those chongas out of our house, 155 00:12:58,702 --> 00:13:01,238 so we can finally shower and unpack? 156 00:13:01,239 --> 00:13:05,499 I'm afraid I can't do that, and here's why. You see, 157 00:13:05,525 --> 00:13:10,213 I already gave them the keys, and then now they take over the house. 158 00:13:10,214 --> 00:13:13,149 That's the law. See, the house is not mine, it's theirs. 159 00:13:13,150 --> 00:13:16,052 I know it's a little peculiar, but it's how they do it in Jersey. 160 00:13:16,053 --> 00:13:19,556 Now that every house and hotel are booked, where are we supposed to go? 161 00:13:19,557 --> 00:13:23,093 Nice going, Ronnie. You managed to fuck us all. 162 00:13:23,094 --> 00:13:26,196 Hold on... hold on, hold on. Why don't you guys just stay here with me? 163 00:13:26,197 --> 00:13:27,631 Excuse me? 164 00:13:28,900 --> 00:13:34,158 Look, I can find ways of keeping you girls reasonably... 165 00:13:34,184 --> 00:13:38,141 - entertained. - Ugh! 166 00:13:38,842 --> 00:13:42,678 I'll take that as a no. Or I'll take it as a maybe. 167 00:13:43,813 --> 00:13:48,517 Their loss. Okay, pot, it's you and me. 168 00:13:52,056 --> 00:13:57,594 That bitch think she's better than me just because she has fake tits. Huh! 169 00:13:57,595 --> 00:14:02,365 I don't speak Mexican or Puerto Rican, but I know they definitely talking about us. 170 00:14:02,366 --> 00:14:03,967 Fuckin' nightmare. 171 00:14:03,968 --> 00:14:07,270 Hold on a second. I'll be right back. 172 00:14:07,271 --> 00:14:11,141 If that chonga gives me one more look, I swear, I'm gonna fuck her up. 173 00:14:11,142 --> 00:14:13,710 Who would believe that someone could screw something up so bad? 174 00:14:13,711 --> 00:14:17,380 - Are you trying to say this is my fault? - Well, whose fault is it? 175 00:14:21,952 --> 00:14:26,355 Oh, my God, your little fucking rat dog just pissed on my fucking leg! 176 00:14:27,557 --> 00:14:32,095 Thanks for telling me. I gotta go now and disinfect his pee pee. 177 00:14:32,096 --> 00:14:36,199 Oh, my God, you're the best! Thank you! Thank you! 178 00:14:37,234 --> 00:14:38,234 Uh-huh. 179 00:14:38,235 --> 00:14:40,003 Ugh! 180 00:14:40,004 --> 00:14:42,739 - Everybody back in the car. - Where are we going? 181 00:14:42,740 --> 00:14:44,341 - My Uncle Vito's house. - Where's that? 182 00:14:44,342 --> 00:14:46,210 About 15 miles west of here. 183 00:14:46,236 --> 00:14:48,611 Do any of youse have a napkin? 184 00:14:48,612 --> 00:14:50,512 Follow us. 185 00:14:58,054 --> 00:14:59,756 Whoo! 186 00:14:59,757 --> 00:15:02,424 Kiss my ass, chonga! 187 00:15:16,739 --> 00:15:19,474 Gnaw on some meat? 188 00:15:27,384 --> 00:15:30,653 Do they even know where we're going, or are we just lost? 189 00:15:30,654 --> 00:15:33,273 I'll tell you right now, we're going straight back to Brooklyn 190 00:15:33,299 --> 00:15:35,959 if she thinks we're staying at a fucking campsite all weekend. 191 00:15:35,960 --> 00:15:37,761 Your news for Ocean County. 192 00:15:37,762 --> 00:15:41,464 Human remains were found today in the Pine Barrens section of New Jersey. 193 00:15:41,465 --> 00:15:46,202 According to detectives, the victims were alleged members of the Rubino crime family. 194 00:15:46,203 --> 00:15:51,640 Details of how this will affect the upcoming trial of Big "V" Rubino, coming up. 195 00:15:55,177 --> 00:15:59,514 - Wow. - This ain't no campsite. 196 00:16:06,089 --> 00:16:08,557 Where the hell are we? 197 00:16:08,558 --> 00:16:12,095 We're right at the edge of the Pine Barrens, that's where we are. 198 00:16:12,096 --> 00:16:14,364 So where's this Uncle Vito? 199 00:16:14,365 --> 00:16:18,101 He's at his home in Staten Island. If he tries leaving the house, 200 00:16:18,102 --> 00:16:21,504 his ankle bracelet beeps, the cops come, and he could be put in jail. 201 00:16:21,505 --> 00:16:24,808 So he's under house arrest? I mean, what did he do? 202 00:16:24,809 --> 00:16:27,928 You know, he's an entrepreneur. But because he's Italian, 203 00:16:27,954 --> 00:16:33,683 they keep harassing him for every single thing he does. It's this way. 204 00:16:33,684 --> 00:16:35,584 Oh, wow. 205 00:16:38,688 --> 00:16:40,522 Here we are. 206 00:16:48,598 --> 00:16:50,800 You can put your stuff down here. 207 00:16:50,801 --> 00:16:54,237 Wow, look at all this stuff. 208 00:16:54,238 --> 00:16:58,442 This has all the Belgian whistles. 209 00:16:59,143 --> 00:17:00,643 You know, Teresa, I know your uncle, 210 00:17:00,644 --> 00:17:03,012 and I can't ever see him buying a house like this. 211 00:17:03,013 --> 00:17:06,749 - It was willed to him. - Willed to him... by who? 212 00:17:06,750 --> 00:17:10,687 Some guy in the entertainment industry that he used to do business with. 213 00:17:10,688 --> 00:17:14,591 - What happened to him? - Uh, no one really knows. 214 00:17:14,592 --> 00:17:17,227 But since my uncle has business in New York and Philly, 215 00:17:17,228 --> 00:17:20,396 he kept this place because it's located right in the middle. 216 00:17:20,397 --> 00:17:22,899 What about the people that live around here? 217 00:17:22,900 --> 00:17:27,838 My uncle says they're not really friendly, unless they're trying to sell you things. 218 00:17:27,839 --> 00:17:29,606 Well, obviously, they would be jealous, 219 00:17:29,607 --> 00:17:32,209 seeing how they live, and then seeing all of this. 220 00:17:32,210 --> 00:17:36,213 It's pretty awesome... the only thing we're missing now is a Jacuzzi. 221 00:17:36,214 --> 00:17:38,480 Hey, even better. 222 00:17:39,215 --> 00:17:40,683 Swimming pool! 223 00:17:42,419 --> 00:17:44,754 - Oh, my God! - Oh, my God. 224 00:17:44,755 --> 00:17:46,422 Awesome! 225 00:17:46,423 --> 00:17:48,224 Perfect. 226 00:17:49,693 --> 00:17:51,828 Oh, my God. 227 00:17:51,829 --> 00:17:54,164 Oh, my God. 228 00:17:54,165 --> 00:17:55,897 Not too bad, right? 229 00:17:55,923 --> 00:17:58,768 Wow, you guys, we could totally go swimming later. 230 00:17:58,769 --> 00:17:59,869 You guys can go. 231 00:17:59,870 --> 00:18:03,239 It's kind of dirty. Should we call someone to clean it? 232 00:18:03,240 --> 00:18:08,643 Uh, no. I just have to clean the leaves off with the skimmer and change the filter. 233 00:18:13,317 --> 00:18:14,884 Ew! 234 00:18:14,885 --> 00:18:18,488 - Where did that come from? - He had to come from the lake. 235 00:18:18,489 --> 00:18:19,689 Ohh. 236 00:18:19,690 --> 00:18:21,858 Eww! 237 00:18:21,859 --> 00:18:23,493 What lake? 238 00:18:23,494 --> 00:18:28,363 Um, I think it's... that way. Come on, I'll show you. 239 00:18:32,668 --> 00:18:34,604 Come on, little guy. 240 00:18:43,680 --> 00:18:46,214 This is not a good idea. 241 00:18:48,585 --> 00:18:51,152 Be free, little guy. 242 00:18:54,892 --> 00:18:57,627 - Saved your life. - That's not funny! 243 00:18:57,628 --> 00:19:01,464 Teresa can't swim! She has a serious fear of water, you stupid bitch! 244 00:19:01,465 --> 00:19:03,566 Fuck you, Dina. If you didn't fuck up the beach house, 245 00:19:03,567 --> 00:19:06,171 we wouldn't be here right now. I'm sorry, Teresa. 246 00:19:06,197 --> 00:19:09,439 It's okay. Let's just go back to the house and unpack. 247 00:19:10,741 --> 00:19:14,709 - You okay? - Yeah... I'm okay. 248 00:19:19,849 --> 00:19:25,155 Okay, so there's plenty of rooms. I'll room with Dina. 249 00:19:25,156 --> 00:19:27,857 Gigi with Joanne, and Valerie and Candi can share a room. 250 00:19:27,858 --> 00:19:30,793 - Uh-uh, I'm not rooming with Candi. - Why not? 251 00:19:30,794 --> 00:19:33,429 - 'Cause she farts in her sleep. - I do not. 252 00:19:33,430 --> 00:19:34,731 Yeah, you do. 253 00:19:34,732 --> 00:19:38,768 Okay, I'll stay with Candi, and Dina can stay with Valerie. 254 00:19:38,769 --> 00:19:40,903 I'll just have to keep my window open all night. 255 00:19:40,904 --> 00:19:42,605 Knock it off. 256 00:19:42,606 --> 00:19:44,040 Where's my cousin gonna sleep? 257 00:19:44,041 --> 00:19:46,709 Uh, if she shows up, she can have the couch. 258 00:19:46,710 --> 00:19:48,745 - Good? Fine. - All right, let's go. 259 00:19:48,746 --> 00:19:49,779 - Whoo! - Good. 260 00:19:49,780 --> 00:19:52,815 - Come on, my little stinker. - Oh, stop it. 261 00:19:52,816 --> 00:19:56,052 Uhh! This freaking bag is so... 262 00:19:56,053 --> 00:19:57,820 heavy! 263 00:19:57,821 --> 00:20:01,724 Just be careful. They already started renovating downstairs. 264 00:20:04,528 --> 00:20:08,196 Sorry, Teresa. Was that expensive? 265 00:20:08,831 --> 00:20:10,967 You're not going to unpack? 266 00:20:10,968 --> 00:20:13,935 Ugh, I'm so fucking tired, I'll do it later. 267 00:20:19,208 --> 00:20:20,908 What's that? 268 00:20:22,511 --> 00:20:24,314 What do you think it is? 269 00:20:24,315 --> 00:20:25,982 I know what it is, but really? 270 00:20:25,983 --> 00:20:27,963 Did you actually think you would need that thing down the shore... 271 00:20:27,989 --> 00:20:30,453 I mean, you might as well bring sand to the beach. 272 00:20:30,454 --> 00:20:35,558 Well, I don't leave home without it, and don't touch it. 273 00:20:35,559 --> 00:20:39,060 Yeah, 'cause I'm just dying to touch that skuzzy thing. 274 00:21:09,792 --> 00:21:12,026 My name is Edgar. 275 00:21:14,564 --> 00:21:17,800 Would you like to try some of my sausages? 276 00:21:17,801 --> 00:21:19,869 No, thank you, Edgar. 277 00:21:19,870 --> 00:21:24,540 - Yeah, none of us eat meat. - Yeah, we're all veterinarians. 278 00:21:24,541 --> 00:21:30,413 All you girls look so pretty and shiny. Are you all sisters? 279 00:21:30,414 --> 00:21:36,319 I never had sisters. I have a brother... he's a asshole. 280 00:21:36,320 --> 00:21:41,389 No, we're not sisters, but, um, it was nice meeting you, Edgar. 281 00:22:04,413 --> 00:22:08,651 So instead of watching hot-looking guys with washboard stomachs on the beach, 282 00:22:08,652 --> 00:22:12,088 we're gonna hang out with Edgar, the 300-pound axe murderer, instead. 283 00:22:12,089 --> 00:22:17,360 Just because he's big, sloppy, and weird doesn't make him an axe murderer. 284 00:22:17,361 --> 00:22:20,130 So what are we doing tonight? I'm getting bored. 285 00:22:20,131 --> 00:22:23,166 I'm not driving all the way back to the shore in that traffic again. 286 00:22:23,167 --> 00:22:25,501 Fine, Teresa, what do we do around here? 287 00:22:25,502 --> 00:22:30,640 Well, forget about going to a bar or a club. Those things don't exist around here. 288 00:22:30,641 --> 00:22:34,076 Mm, there was that sign down the road for that Jersey Devil tour. 289 00:22:34,683 --> 00:22:38,881 Are you kidding me? Walking around in the woods, listening to stupid ghost stories. 290 00:22:38,882 --> 00:22:40,983 Well, we can either do that or stay here all night 291 00:22:40,984 --> 00:22:43,186 while Edgar leers at us through the windows. 292 00:22:43,187 --> 00:22:46,254 Who knows, maybe we'll meet some hot guys. 293 00:22:53,897 --> 00:22:57,033 Well... Good evening, ladies. 294 00:22:57,034 --> 00:23:01,938 Would you like to take the, uh, Jersey Devil tour? 295 00:23:01,939 --> 00:23:04,038 How much for the six of us? 296 00:23:04,707 --> 00:23:06,776 Uh... $7.50 apiece. 297 00:23:06,777 --> 00:23:12,114 Screw that... we want a discount. Uh, $50 for the six of us. 298 00:23:12,415 --> 00:23:14,148 Fine. 299 00:23:16,151 --> 00:23:19,287 All right, soon as all your group is here, 300 00:23:19,288 --> 00:23:23,433 we'll have Junior take you on your tour. 301 00:23:23,459 --> 00:23:25,027 Is it scary? 302 00:23:25,728 --> 00:23:27,496 Scares the tar outta me. 303 00:23:27,497 --> 00:23:30,399 - Great, let's fucking go then. - Okay, let's go. 304 00:23:37,107 --> 00:23:42,145 Okay, I hope we're all keeping our eyes open for the Jersey Devil. 305 00:23:43,246 --> 00:23:48,684 What can you tell us about the... creepy people living in the Pine Barrens, 306 00:23:48,685 --> 00:23:52,088 like cannibals, called Pineys? 307 00:23:52,089 --> 00:23:55,057 Well, there are people that live around here. 308 00:23:55,058 --> 00:23:58,961 Yeah, we heard there are a few dozen Piney families who are all inbred, illiterate, 309 00:23:58,962 --> 00:24:03,566 and very hostile towards outsiders, living just about a mile down the road. 310 00:24:03,867 --> 00:24:05,835 Now that's creepy. 311 00:24:05,836 --> 00:24:07,770 - Hey, Junior? - Mm-hmm? 312 00:24:07,771 --> 00:24:11,239 - Where do you live? - 'Bout a mile down the road. 313 00:24:12,975 --> 00:24:18,564 Now, believe it or not, the Jersey Devil was the 13th child 314 00:24:18,590 --> 00:24:24,820 of a woman named Deborah Leeds who emigrated from London, England 315 00:24:24,821 --> 00:24:29,158 here to the New Jersey Pine Barrens in the 1700s. 316 00:24:29,159 --> 00:24:33,195 Moving here from London and all, was she able to learn English? 317 00:24:33,196 --> 00:24:36,766 That's a pretty good question. I'll have to get back to you on that. 318 00:24:36,767 --> 00:24:42,351 But anyway, during a very difficult and painful labor, 319 00:24:42,377 --> 00:24:46,108 Mrs. Leeds invoked the devil. 320 00:24:49,612 --> 00:24:51,814 And when the baby was born, 321 00:24:51,815 --> 00:24:56,652 it immediately grew into a full-grown winged devil! 322 00:25:04,694 --> 00:25:09,765 And then escaped from the house out into these Pine Barrens. 323 00:25:09,766 --> 00:25:11,299 Ohh! 324 00:25:14,069 --> 00:25:17,439 - Who keeps hitting my ass? - No touching. 325 00:25:17,440 --> 00:25:19,842 Ugh... that's disgusting. 326 00:25:19,843 --> 00:25:24,180 There are have been hundreds of Devil sightings throughout the years. 327 00:25:24,181 --> 00:25:26,015 I think these girls like us. 328 00:25:27,718 --> 00:25:31,787 There are six of them and three of us, 329 00:25:31,788 --> 00:25:34,691 so you know what that means? 330 00:25:35,692 --> 00:25:38,227 Oh, my God. 331 00:25:38,528 --> 00:25:41,097 This could be the greatest night of our lives! 332 00:25:41,098 --> 00:25:43,366 Shh... let's try to keep them scared, 333 00:25:43,367 --> 00:25:47,770 so that they cling on to us for safety, and then... 334 00:25:47,771 --> 00:25:51,340 - Back to the RV! - Exactly! 335 00:25:52,776 --> 00:25:57,311 This is gonna be so amazing! 336 00:26:01,717 --> 00:26:06,421 ...one in 1909 by Councilman Wheaton, 337 00:26:06,422 --> 00:26:11,894 who heard flapping wings outside his bedroom window one night, 338 00:26:11,895 --> 00:26:16,805 and then the next morning, found large, cloven footprints... 339 00:26:16,831 --> 00:26:18,657 in the snow. 340 00:26:23,906 --> 00:26:27,176 Hi. Uh, m-my name is Henry. 341 00:26:27,177 --> 00:26:28,878 Uh, what's yours? 342 00:26:28,879 --> 00:26:31,814 - Joanne. - Oh, nice to meet you. 343 00:26:31,815 --> 00:26:36,224 Um, are you girls headed to the Sci-Fi Expo in DC? 344 00:26:36,250 --> 00:26:39,622 Uh, if so, we could all go together. 345 00:26:39,923 --> 00:26:42,425 - Are you serious? - Sure, uh... 346 00:26:42,426 --> 00:26:47,063 We even have a DVD player, a microwave, 347 00:26:47,064 --> 00:26:49,230 and a queen-sized bed. 348 00:26:51,734 --> 00:26:54,702 Val, wait until you hear this. 349 00:26:56,705 --> 00:26:58,107 Cool! 350 00:26:58,108 --> 00:27:01,010 I think she's going to get all her friends to come along also. 351 00:27:02,812 --> 00:27:05,480 - Try to keep them scared. - Okay, okay. 352 00:27:07,182 --> 00:27:11,086 Hundreds of people have heard the Jersey Devil 353 00:27:11,087 --> 00:27:16,025 rampaging through the woods while shrieking. 354 00:27:25,835 --> 00:27:29,805 Or making blood-curdling cries. 355 00:27:35,612 --> 00:27:39,348 Some call it the Leeds Devil. 356 00:27:39,349 --> 00:27:43,452 Some call it the Wozzle Bug. 357 00:27:43,453 --> 00:27:49,992 And others call it the Hoodle-Doodle Bird. 358 00:27:49,993 --> 00:27:54,864 Either way, no one comes out here alone at night. 359 00:27:54,865 --> 00:27:57,266 Oh, God, I'm really feeling scared. I want to get out of here. 360 00:27:57,267 --> 00:27:59,235 What are you worried about? 361 00:27:59,236 --> 00:28:02,204 I feel like we're being watched, and I'm starting to freak out a little. 362 00:28:02,205 --> 00:28:04,073 Yeah, you guys, I wanna go back. 363 00:28:04,074 --> 00:28:07,042 Why don't you girls give us your... your email addresses 364 00:28:07,043 --> 00:28:09,812 so we can put it on our phones now? 365 00:28:09,813 --> 00:28:11,180 Sure... 366 00:28:11,181 --> 00:28:13,449 Uh, it's getalife... 367 00:28:13,450 --> 00:28:15,284 - Getalife... - at... 368 00:28:15,285 --> 00:28:19,555 yougottabefuckingkiddingme.com. 369 00:28:20,156 --> 00:28:21,757 What's with the mixed messages? 370 00:28:21,758 --> 00:28:26,328 I don't know. But it seems like every girl we meet has the same problem. 371 00:28:26,729 --> 00:28:28,564 Help! 372 00:28:32,101 --> 00:28:33,869 Oh, damn! 373 00:28:33,870 --> 00:28:37,006 Oh, my God, somebody give me their belt! 374 00:28:37,007 --> 00:28:40,441 - I gotta make a tourniquet! - Oh, my God! Oh! 375 00:28:53,924 --> 00:28:55,825 Welcome to the country, girls. 376 00:28:56,426 --> 00:28:59,928 You kidding me? We're getting the fuck outta here! 377 00:28:59,929 --> 00:29:02,998 That was so uncalled for! Let me go! 378 00:29:02,999 --> 00:29:05,935 Come on, don't be upset. It was all in fun. 379 00:29:05,936 --> 00:29:07,903 F-U-N, fun. 380 00:29:07,904 --> 00:29:11,907 No, it's stupidity. S-T-U... pidity! 381 00:29:11,908 --> 00:29:13,075 Are you okay, Val? 382 00:29:13,076 --> 00:29:15,311 I want to get outta here. I don't like being scared. 383 00:29:15,312 --> 00:29:16,312 Let's go. 384 00:29:18,281 --> 00:29:19,548 Hey, later, girls. 385 00:29:21,251 --> 00:29:23,285 Yeah, that's fucking great, man. 386 00:29:25,222 --> 00:29:27,388 Argh... 387 00:29:38,700 --> 00:29:39,902 Hey, you ready, Gigi? 388 00:29:39,903 --> 00:29:43,339 No... you guys go ahead. Mike's gonna come pick me up later. 389 00:29:43,340 --> 00:29:46,041 I really need to see him tonight. I'm sorry. 390 00:29:46,042 --> 00:29:49,578 - Are you sure about this? - Yeah, I'm sure. 391 00:29:49,579 --> 00:29:54,584 - Okay, I'll see you tonight. - Bye. 392 00:29:54,985 --> 00:29:57,953 She's ditching us for that loser again, isn't she? 393 00:29:57,954 --> 00:30:00,623 She seems to love him, so let her do what she wants. 394 00:30:00,624 --> 00:30:04,159 I don't buy that... I think Michael just knows how to manipulate Gigi. 395 00:30:04,160 --> 00:30:06,595 He turns her into, like, his little mental prisoner. 396 00:30:06,596 --> 00:30:09,365 Yeah, kind of like Stockholder Syndrome or something. 397 00:30:09,391 --> 00:30:10,232 Mm-hmm. 398 00:30:10,233 --> 00:30:12,902 Hey, bitches, you want some pound cake? 399 00:30:12,903 --> 00:30:16,639 - Oh, yeah, I'll take some. - I can't even look at that. 400 00:30:18,808 --> 00:30:21,944 - Are you dieting, Val? - I'm going to. 401 00:30:21,945 --> 00:30:26,482 I just took five laxatives last night to help get my stomach down for the weekend. 402 00:30:26,483 --> 00:30:30,686 - Oh, my God. - That really isn't good for you, you know. 403 00:30:30,687 --> 00:30:34,423 Ugh, well, I don't wanna look like a stuffed sausage all weekend either. 404 00:30:34,424 --> 00:30:36,191 - Sure you don't want some? - No. 405 00:30:36,192 --> 00:30:39,028 - You're just gonna shit it out anyway. - No... 406 00:30:39,029 --> 00:30:42,564 I wanna have a six pack for the yum yums. 407 00:30:42,565 --> 00:30:45,100 - Yum yums. - Yum yum yums! 408 00:30:45,101 --> 00:30:46,934 It's hot as fucking here. 409 00:30:54,243 --> 00:30:55,711 Daddy! 410 00:30:55,712 --> 00:30:59,181 Wow, a jellyfish! 411 00:30:59,182 --> 00:31:00,582 Don't touch that. 412 00:31:00,583 --> 00:31:03,552 You could get stung very badly by it. 413 00:31:03,553 --> 00:31:06,555 - Ouchie. - Yeah, ouchie. 414 00:31:06,556 --> 00:31:08,490 Yo, yo, yo, yo! 415 00:31:08,491 --> 00:31:09,725 Ohh! 416 00:31:09,726 --> 00:31:14,430 Oh, my God! That took me all morning to build! 417 00:31:14,431 --> 00:31:17,733 Well, build it somewhere else. The thing just made me drop the ball. 418 00:31:17,734 --> 00:31:21,203 Are you kidding me? You have the entire beach to play on! 419 00:31:21,204 --> 00:31:25,040 Because the people is over there, and if we play over there, 420 00:31:25,041 --> 00:31:27,576 no one's gonna be able to see us right there. 421 00:31:27,577 --> 00:31:30,566 So why don't you pick up all your sand and move it? 422 00:31:30,592 --> 00:31:32,515 Over there! You feeling me? 423 00:31:32,516 --> 00:31:35,883 And take your faggot-ass pail and shovel with you. 424 00:31:44,594 --> 00:31:46,927 Oww... 425 00:31:49,465 --> 00:31:51,333 Ouchie. 426 00:31:53,136 --> 00:31:55,569 What you looking at? 427 00:31:59,641 --> 00:32:01,343 There's no fucking parking. 428 00:32:01,344 --> 00:32:05,214 Well, if you didn't make us late, we would have been here two hours ago. 429 00:32:05,215 --> 00:32:06,715 Fuck you, Joanne. 430 00:32:06,716 --> 00:32:10,652 - Can you both please stop it now? - Stay the fuck outta this, Valerie. 431 00:32:10,653 --> 00:32:14,123 - Yeah, shut the fuck up, Valerie. - Don't tell her to shut the fuck up. 432 00:32:14,124 --> 00:32:16,625 - Who the fuck are you? - Bunch of pains in the asses. 433 00:32:16,626 --> 00:32:19,261 All right, guys, calm down. We're already here. 434 00:32:19,262 --> 00:32:21,495 Ah, there's a space. 435 00:32:22,431 --> 00:32:25,734 Give me the handicapped pass in the glove compartment, just in case. 436 00:32:25,735 --> 00:32:29,637 - We're not disabled. - Just limp a little when you walk out. 437 00:32:32,274 --> 00:32:33,776 - Ready? - Whoo! 438 00:32:33,777 --> 00:32:36,444 Here we are. 439 00:32:37,246 --> 00:32:38,647 Whoo! 440 00:32:40,917 --> 00:32:43,392 I was dying for one of these corndogs. 441 00:32:43,418 --> 00:32:45,487 - Me too. - Me three. 442 00:32:45,488 --> 00:32:49,258 - Hey, what about your diet? - I don't wanna starve to death. 443 00:32:49,259 --> 00:32:52,161 Why don't we set up over here? 444 00:32:52,162 --> 00:32:56,065 No... I see where we should go. 445 00:32:56,066 --> 00:32:58,233 Yo, throw the ball! 446 00:32:58,234 --> 00:33:00,468 Hyuh! Freddy, you asshole! 447 00:33:01,670 --> 00:33:03,795 - Ooh la la! - Let's go, girls! Come on! 448 00:33:05,408 --> 00:33:07,642 Let me out! 449 00:33:09,178 --> 00:33:10,645 Uhh! 450 00:33:10,646 --> 00:33:13,148 Gigi, get over here! I'm not done with you yet! 451 00:33:13,149 --> 00:33:15,284 Well, I'm done with you, Michael, and if you know what's good for you, 452 00:33:15,285 --> 00:33:17,586 get your ass off Teresa's uncle's property. 453 00:33:17,587 --> 00:33:22,224 Gigi... you little bitch, get over here! You know what, I'm done with you! 454 00:33:22,225 --> 00:33:24,992 Stop following me, Michael! 455 00:33:30,733 --> 00:33:32,634 I have to tell you, Tre... 456 00:33:32,635 --> 00:33:37,105 Despite the mix-up with the house, I think this is gonna be a really good weekend. 457 00:33:43,779 --> 00:33:46,615 No, please, please! Help me! 458 00:33:46,616 --> 00:33:50,686 No, stop, please! Stop, let me go! Please! 459 00:33:50,687 --> 00:33:55,491 And if not for you, we would've had to have turned back yesterday and miss all of this. 460 00:33:55,492 --> 00:33:57,525 No, no, no! 461 00:34:05,033 --> 00:34:06,335 Thank you. 462 00:34:06,336 --> 00:34:10,172 You don't have to thank me. We're all in the same boat. 463 00:34:25,354 --> 00:34:27,422 - That didn't take long. - No, it didn't. 464 00:34:27,423 --> 00:34:30,259 Impressive, I have to say. We gotta step up our game. 465 00:34:31,327 --> 00:34:32,661 Ah, ow! 466 00:34:32,662 --> 00:34:34,062 God. 467 00:34:34,063 --> 00:34:37,976 Teresa and Dina... This is... 468 00:34:38,002 --> 00:34:42,271 Tony, Joey, Gino, Vinnie, and Freddy. 469 00:34:42,272 --> 00:34:44,873 - Hi. - Hi... 470 00:34:45,646 --> 00:34:47,848 Oh, wow. 471 00:34:48,177 --> 00:34:50,179 - What is that? - It's a mime. 472 00:34:50,180 --> 00:34:51,547 A what? 473 00:34:51,548 --> 00:34:54,216 What is he doing? Why is he wearing that? 474 00:34:54,217 --> 00:34:57,486 - Dude, there's no window there. - He's just pretendin', Tony! 475 00:34:57,487 --> 00:34:59,555 - Ohh... - He is cute. 476 00:34:59,556 --> 00:35:01,323 I don't get it, either. 477 00:35:01,324 --> 00:35:02,858 Oh! Aww... 478 00:35:02,859 --> 00:35:05,327 Now he's hitting on her. 479 00:35:05,328 --> 00:35:08,397 Now get the fuck outta here, Bozo. 480 00:35:11,601 --> 00:35:14,636 - He's doing you, Gino! - Gino, that's you. 481 00:35:14,637 --> 00:35:16,371 You gonna take that, Gino? 482 00:35:16,372 --> 00:35:17,906 Yo... 483 00:35:17,907 --> 00:35:21,677 Yeah, keep going. Really? 484 00:35:22,078 --> 01:10:45,558 Yeah. 485 00:35:25,615 --> 00:35:27,516 - One punch! - Good night, motherfucker! 486 00:35:27,517 --> 00:35:28,984 - Now get the fuck outta here... - Asshole! 487 00:35:28,985 --> 00:35:30,819 Before I throws you a real beatin'! 488 00:35:30,820 --> 00:35:32,221 Whoo! 489 00:35:32,222 --> 00:35:35,224 - Who's going in the water with me? - I am, let's go! 490 00:35:35,225 --> 00:35:37,960 - Yo, Gino, go out for a pass. - Hey, wanna catch some crabs? 491 00:35:40,796 --> 00:35:44,333 Hey, we're going to the Barnacle Club later if you guys wanna come. 492 00:35:54,309 --> 00:35:58,285 There's something so relaxing, you know, and elegant 493 00:35:58,311 --> 00:36:00,749 about the beach. You know what I mean? 494 00:36:00,750 --> 00:36:03,919 - I just love the fresh air. - Mmm. 495 00:36:03,920 --> 00:36:06,321 Those guys were kinda hot, don't you think? 496 00:36:06,322 --> 00:36:09,825 - They were definitely hot for you. - Ooh, yum, yum, yum. 497 00:36:09,826 --> 00:36:12,527 - Oh, my God! - What? 498 00:36:12,528 --> 00:36:13,895 - Oh, I have to go! - Go where? 499 00:36:13,896 --> 00:36:16,698 Uh, the laxatives are kicking in. I have to go to the bathroom right now! 500 00:36:16,699 --> 00:36:19,534 Oh, my God, oh, quick, run up to the boardwalk and find a restroom! 501 00:36:19,535 --> 00:36:22,671 Aah! Aah! Get out of the way! 502 00:36:22,672 --> 00:36:24,973 - What? - I gotta go! 503 00:36:24,974 --> 00:36:28,644 - Oh, my God! - Oh... my... God. 504 00:36:31,581 --> 00:36:33,048 Ohh. 505 00:36:33,049 --> 00:36:34,983 - Eww... - Ohh. 506 00:36:34,984 --> 00:36:37,719 Look, Daddy, sea shells. 507 00:36:37,720 --> 00:36:41,689 Come on, Valerie. We've gotta get ready for tonight! 508 00:36:42,891 --> 00:36:45,726 Hey, you got any more corndogs? 509 00:36:47,929 --> 00:36:49,463 Poopy. 510 00:36:56,438 --> 00:36:59,008 All right, we got dollar Jersey Devil shots for the next two minutes, 511 00:36:59,034 --> 00:37:01,575 so go to the bar and get you some! 512 00:37:03,346 --> 00:37:05,547 - Here's to the king. - What king? 513 00:37:05,548 --> 00:37:07,549 - Fuc-king! - Fuc-king! 514 00:37:07,550 --> 00:37:10,385 Oh. 515 00:37:10,386 --> 00:37:13,655 So, fellas, who's gonna pay for all these drinks? 516 00:37:13,656 --> 00:37:15,090 - He is. - He is. 517 00:37:15,091 --> 00:37:16,391 - You are. - You are. 518 00:37:16,392 --> 00:37:18,560 - I'm paying for the cab. - I always pay for the cab! 519 00:37:18,561 --> 00:37:20,663 - No, you pay for the drinks. - Hey, you watch yourself there. 520 00:37:20,664 --> 00:37:24,499 You gotta be faster than that to stay in the ring with the Staten Island Stallion. 521 00:37:24,500 --> 00:37:26,769 Man, you got it all wrong. If you weren't my boy, 522 00:37:26,770 --> 00:37:31,037 you wouldn't even make it to the ring. Pa-pow! End of story, motherfucker. 523 00:37:31,063 --> 00:37:33,535 - Who's next? - Bullshit! 524 00:37:33,561 --> 00:37:36,812 - You never popped nothing. - How the fuck do you know? 525 00:37:36,813 --> 00:37:40,075 'Cause I've known you since we were 12, and you have such a big fucking mouth 526 00:37:40,101 --> 00:37:42,217 that half of Staten Island would have known about it. 527 00:37:42,218 --> 00:37:44,080 There would have been billboards along the highway saying, 528 00:37:44,106 --> 00:37:47,456 "Gino Digideo whacked some dude. Paid for by Gino Digideo." 529 00:37:47,457 --> 00:37:50,457 I like it. I like it. 530 00:38:01,403 --> 00:38:05,974 Yeah, let's do some more shots, buddy. Let's get some more... which ones? 531 00:38:05,975 --> 00:38:07,008 Ohh! 532 00:38:07,009 --> 00:38:09,612 - What the fuck? - I'll tell you what the fuck. 533 00:38:09,613 --> 00:38:13,415 That's for drugging and raping my friend Tammy last week, you fucking dirty scumbag. 534 00:38:13,416 --> 00:38:15,517 Yo, I don't even know what you're talking about. 535 00:38:15,518 --> 00:38:18,954 Yes, you do, and two other people saw you drop a fucking pill in her drink. 536 00:38:18,955 --> 00:38:23,492 Yo, that bitch was DTF, so get the fuck outta my face before I smack your mouth. 537 00:38:23,493 --> 00:38:26,061 I bet you would, you fucking dirty scumbag. 538 00:38:26,062 --> 00:38:28,730 - Get the fuck out of here, you slut. - You can't do that in here, come on. 539 00:38:28,731 --> 00:38:29,931 - You're out. - Get off of me! 540 00:38:29,932 --> 00:38:33,433 - Bye-bye, you little twat. - Peace! 541 00:38:34,102 --> 00:38:35,937 Works every time. 542 00:38:35,938 --> 00:38:38,640 Yo, bro, we gotta get another bottle of that shit. 543 00:38:38,641 --> 00:38:42,042 All right, my guy's coming in next week. I'll get a shitload. 544 00:38:59,560 --> 00:39:02,431 - Hello. - How you doing? 545 00:39:02,432 --> 00:39:04,666 If I was you, I'd be stalking me too. 546 00:39:04,667 --> 00:39:10,170 Oh... well, let's have a couple more drinks and see who's stalking who. 547 00:39:14,443 --> 00:39:17,010 - After you. - Thank you. 548 00:39:26,855 --> 00:39:29,655 Right now, I'm just working on my demo, trying to get signed to a label, 549 00:39:29,681 --> 00:39:32,227 - you know what I'm saying? - Get a label. 550 00:39:32,228 --> 00:39:35,630 What the fuck are you laughing at, Dominic? 551 00:39:37,055 --> 00:39:42,103 Look at you, kid. Who we kidding? You can't sing, you can't rap. 552 00:39:42,104 --> 00:39:44,072 You can't even play a goddamn instrument. 553 00:39:44,073 --> 00:39:46,708 How the hell is a record company gonna sign you? 554 00:39:46,709 --> 00:39:51,813 'Cause I'm that fucking down! Besides, what the fuck do you know about records? 555 00:39:51,814 --> 00:39:53,949 You're just a part-time manager at a nightclub. 556 00:39:53,950 --> 00:39:57,127 If I need the urinals or some shit cleaned, I'll give you a call. 557 00:40:00,089 --> 00:40:03,124 - You don't know who the hell I am. - That's the point. 558 00:40:03,125 --> 00:40:07,229 We don't know who the fuck you are, and nobody else does either. 559 00:40:10,833 --> 00:40:12,866 I'll be back. 560 00:40:13,935 --> 00:40:20,108 So, I was just down in the ladies' room, and it's, like, totally empty down there. 561 00:40:20,109 --> 00:40:25,981 Like, two people could totally have sex and no one would know, but... 562 00:40:25,982 --> 00:40:29,885 that... that would be wrong, right? 563 00:40:30,953 --> 00:40:32,654 Oh, no. 564 00:40:32,655 --> 00:40:35,924 Yo, yo, yo, for the first time in over two decades, 565 00:40:35,925 --> 00:40:41,730 give it up for the one, the only, Jersey's own Italian Ice! 566 00:40:41,731 --> 00:40:43,632 Hey yo! 567 00:40:43,633 --> 00:40:46,801 New Jersey, make some motherfucking noise! 568 00:40:46,802 --> 00:40:49,804 Come on! Kick it, DJ! 569 00:40:50,806 --> 00:40:52,574 ♪ Let's roll ♪ 570 00:40:52,575 --> 00:40:54,409 ♪ We're about to get nice ♪ 571 00:40:54,410 --> 00:40:57,212 ♪ With the one, the only ♪ 572 00:40:57,213 --> 00:40:59,080 ♪ No phony, Italian Ice ♪ 573 00:40:59,081 --> 00:41:01,783 What the fuck is Italian Ice? 574 00:41:01,784 --> 00:41:03,618 ♪ I got more fans than the Mona Lisa ♪ 575 00:41:03,619 --> 00:41:05,620 ♪ When the ladies see me, they all scream nice ♪ 576 00:41:05,621 --> 00:41:07,556 ♪ Everybody wants some Italian Ice ♪ 577 00:41:07,557 --> 00:41:11,726 "Italian Ice. Born Dominic DiLallo in 1966. 578 00:41:11,727 --> 00:41:15,263 Had a minor regional hit in 1991 called 'Melt.'" 579 00:41:17,264 --> 00:41:19,432 ♪ Melt, ooh, ooh ♪ 580 00:41:19,502 --> 00:41:21,636 ♪ Melt all over my face, yeah ♪ 581 00:41:21,637 --> 00:41:24,206 "But he's best known for his unsuccessful lawsuit 582 00:41:24,307 --> 00:41:27,676 against Vanilla Ice for stealing his career." 583 00:41:27,677 --> 00:41:32,013 ♪ Melt all over my face, yeah ♪ 584 00:41:32,014 --> 00:41:33,915 Hey, Freddy, that's you in 20 years. 585 00:41:37,719 --> 00:41:40,588 - "Ha ha ha ha"... screw you! - ♪ Melt all over my face, yeah ♪ 586 00:41:40,589 --> 00:41:41,589 ♪ I'm Italian Ice ♪ 587 00:41:41,590 --> 00:41:43,723 ♪ Yo, DJ, get nice ♪ 588 00:41:47,830 --> 00:41:51,366 I've got such bad butt cringe, I think my ass is gonna crack in half. 589 00:41:53,336 --> 00:41:57,772 New Jersey, Italian Ice is back! Yeah! 590 00:41:57,773 --> 00:42:02,077 Suck my balls, Vanilla Ice. Stupid douche. 591 00:43:10,812 --> 00:43:12,981 What the fuck are you looking at, bitch? 592 00:43:16,317 --> 00:43:19,020 Oh, yeah! 593 00:43:20,790 --> 00:43:22,057 Ohh! 594 00:43:23,693 --> 00:43:26,161 Security to the dance floor, please. 595 00:43:31,266 --> 00:43:32,367 Shit! 596 00:43:37,271 --> 00:43:38,973 No, no, no. No! 597 00:43:38,974 --> 00:43:40,341 No, no, no, no, no! 598 00:43:48,149 --> 00:43:50,785 - Hey... - Get the fuck off of me! 599 00:43:50,786 --> 00:43:52,954 - Hey, all right! - Fuck the police! 600 00:43:52,955 --> 00:43:54,389 Fuck the police! 601 00:43:54,390 --> 00:43:56,691 Hey, come on, come on. 602 00:43:56,692 --> 00:44:00,028 Hey, youse is all suspended from the club for the rest of the summer. 603 00:44:00,029 --> 00:44:01,463 But they started it! 604 00:44:01,464 --> 00:44:03,665 - Yeah, but you threw your drink at her. - It spilled! 605 00:44:03,666 --> 00:44:06,434 - Ah, get the fuck outta here. - Motherfucker! 606 00:44:06,435 --> 00:44:09,971 We can't go out like this, so let's just go back to the house. 607 00:44:09,972 --> 00:44:11,406 - Hey. - Fuck it. 608 00:44:11,407 --> 00:44:14,742 - Hey, where youse goin'? - Back to our house... you coming? 609 00:44:14,743 --> 00:44:16,911 - Yeah, we're going. Yeah, we're going. - Just follow us. 610 00:44:16,912 --> 00:44:17,946 Come on. 611 00:44:19,781 --> 00:44:22,149 Let's have some fun now! 612 00:44:24,786 --> 00:44:27,789 How many times have you been banned from this club before? 613 00:44:27,790 --> 00:44:31,392 - Ah, I've been banned, like, three times. - Three times... no way! 614 00:44:32,394 --> 00:44:33,461 Shh! Shh... 615 00:44:33,462 --> 00:44:35,929 Shh. 616 00:44:37,165 --> 00:44:39,799 What the hell was that? 617 00:44:43,972 --> 00:44:46,307 - Someone's in the house. - What? 618 00:44:49,145 --> 00:44:50,979 Who the hell are you? 619 00:44:50,980 --> 00:44:53,782 I'm Rosemarie! Val's cousin. 620 00:44:53,783 --> 00:44:57,252 - Rosemarie! - Valerie, there you are! 621 00:44:57,253 --> 00:44:59,895 Everyone, this is Rosemarie, my cousin. 622 00:44:59,921 --> 00:45:02,361 I texted her the address this morning. I forgot to tell you. 623 00:45:02,362 --> 00:45:05,160 Thanks. Uh, how did you get in here? 624 00:45:05,161 --> 00:45:09,297 The sliding glass door was unlocked, so I just came in and made me some dinner. 625 00:45:09,298 --> 00:45:11,776 Oh, God, was I starving. By the way... 626 00:45:11,802 --> 00:45:14,469 you're gonna need some more Super Fudge ice cream and beef jerky. 627 00:45:15,971 --> 00:45:18,807 Yo, this place is fuckin' hooked! 628 00:45:18,808 --> 00:45:21,209 A little out of the way, but hooked. 629 00:45:21,210 --> 00:45:24,379 What happened to Gigi? She should have been back here by now. 630 00:45:24,380 --> 00:45:27,214 Maybe Rosemarie ate her. 631 00:45:27,516 --> 00:45:29,517 Watch it, that's my cousin. 632 00:45:29,518 --> 00:45:32,587 - Where do you keep the liquor? - Screw that, where's the food? 633 00:45:32,588 --> 00:45:34,422 I'll nuke some fried chicken. 634 00:45:34,423 --> 00:45:36,456 - He's hungry. - Yes! 635 00:45:37,858 --> 00:45:42,163 "Fat Camp Massacre!" This is supposed to be the best movie ever! 636 00:45:42,164 --> 00:45:44,232 Oh, yeah, yeah, put it on. 637 00:45:44,233 --> 00:45:47,135 - Hey, I want a leg! - I want breast! 638 00:45:47,136 --> 00:45:50,038 - I just want a piece of ass! - Aah! 639 00:45:51,040 --> 00:45:54,108 Ooh... Oh, yeah... 640 00:46:09,425 --> 00:46:10,592 Roger. 641 00:46:11,594 --> 00:46:15,462 Roger. Roger! 642 00:46:17,598 --> 00:46:20,535 Roger! I smell pizza. 643 00:46:20,536 --> 00:46:25,406 I told you already. Stop thinking about food, and go back to sleep, Keith. 644 00:46:25,407 --> 00:46:29,077 If they catch you eating at night one more time, they're gonna kick you out. 645 00:46:29,078 --> 00:46:34,147 I don't care about that. I smell pizza, I'm starving... I'm gonna find it. 646 00:46:51,933 --> 00:46:53,101 Cupcake! 647 00:46:57,305 --> 00:47:00,208 Ohh, I finally found you, cupcake. 648 00:47:00,209 --> 00:47:02,676 Mmm... 649 00:47:04,379 --> 00:47:08,916 Now where's that fucking pizza? I'm starving! 650 00:47:11,386 --> 00:47:13,353 Pizza! 651 00:47:17,259 --> 00:47:18,660 Oh, my leg! 652 00:47:18,661 --> 00:47:22,397 I wouldn't mind being stuck in a bear trap alone in the woods if it was with you. 653 00:47:22,398 --> 00:47:26,067 Ooh, who needs a bear trap when I have handcuffs in my bedroom, 654 00:47:26,068 --> 00:47:29,003 - you sexy little ape, you? - You little freak! 655 00:47:29,004 --> 00:47:30,271 - Uh-huh. - Uhh! 656 00:47:33,642 --> 00:47:34,943 Oh, my God! 657 00:47:36,979 --> 00:47:40,682 - Bye! Whoo! - Later, boys. 658 00:47:43,251 --> 00:47:44,762 Who are you? 659 00:47:44,788 --> 00:47:49,958 I'm Cupcake the Clown. And you just ate my cupcake. 660 00:47:49,959 --> 00:47:53,061 So now it's time to cut a few calories the old-fashioned way! 661 00:47:54,096 --> 00:47:56,397 Get me outta here, Mister. Come on, get me outta here! 662 00:47:57,633 --> 00:47:59,100 Certainly. 663 00:48:01,603 --> 00:48:06,241 I'd smack that clown so fucking hard, he'd be begging me to stop. 664 00:48:06,442 --> 00:48:09,110 Where are you taking me, you big ape? 665 00:48:09,111 --> 00:48:13,114 - To the bedroom. - We just passed it. Put me down! 666 00:48:17,351 --> 00:48:19,721 So... do you have a girlfriend? 667 00:48:19,722 --> 00:48:23,424 No, sweet tits. I don't get burned like that. 668 00:48:23,425 --> 00:48:27,695 So why don't you do me a favor... go into that bedroom. 669 00:48:27,696 --> 00:48:31,666 I'm going to the shower and rinse off, okay? 670 00:48:55,256 --> 00:48:58,593 The Electro Beam 300? Classic! 671 00:49:21,650 --> 00:49:23,149 Ba ba! 672 00:49:41,069 --> 00:49:42,470 Yeah. 673 00:49:52,381 --> 00:49:54,348 You little freak. 674 00:49:55,751 --> 00:49:58,853 Oh, no. I'm a prisoner. 675 00:49:58,854 --> 00:50:01,487 Please, don't hurt me. 676 00:50:10,131 --> 00:50:11,798 What? 677 00:50:52,841 --> 00:50:55,576 I just wanted a slice! 678 00:50:55,577 --> 00:50:59,614 - Yo, get that fat piece of shit! - Yeah, cry like a little bitch, fat boy. 679 00:51:23,204 --> 00:51:26,741 I can't take this shit. Who wants to take a swim? 680 00:51:27,042 --> 00:51:28,409 Me. 681 00:51:28,410 --> 00:51:29,809 Let's go. 682 00:51:38,787 --> 00:51:41,956 Ha ha ha! Prepare to die! 683 00:51:46,728 --> 00:51:49,330 Ohh! 684 00:51:49,331 --> 00:51:50,932 Damn... 685 00:52:10,751 --> 00:52:13,353 Wait for me! 686 00:52:16,824 --> 00:52:20,561 I could totally see you as becoming a lawyer. You know why? 687 00:52:20,562 --> 00:52:24,265 You got eyes just like the guy from "Law and Order." 688 00:52:24,666 --> 00:52:27,835 Yeah, so maybe that's what I should do... 689 00:52:27,836 --> 00:52:30,271 becoming a backstabbing lawyer and make a lot of money. 690 00:52:30,272 --> 00:52:32,340 What about you? 691 00:52:32,341 --> 00:52:36,844 I could be your secretary. I got lots of really sexy dresses and nice boobs, 692 00:52:36,845 --> 00:52:39,480 and I'm really good at answering the phone. 693 00:52:40,081 --> 00:52:46,454 Val, Dina. Come over here so I can show you the new pictures of Mr. Wiggles. 694 00:52:46,455 --> 00:52:47,788 - Mr. Wiggles! - Ohh... 695 00:52:47,789 --> 00:52:49,322 You sit tight there. 696 00:52:52,359 --> 00:52:56,464 - Who the fuck is Mr. Wiggles? - Rosemarie's pet ferret! Wanna see it? 697 00:52:56,465 --> 00:52:58,599 - Aww! - Isn't he sweet? 698 00:52:58,600 --> 00:53:02,169 This is me and Mr. Wiggles in the shower. 699 00:53:02,170 --> 00:53:03,404 Aww! 700 00:53:03,405 --> 00:53:06,040 Dude, what the fuck is wrong with these fucking girls? 701 00:53:06,041 --> 00:53:08,409 I love that one! 702 00:53:08,410 --> 00:53:10,845 I'm not fucking putting up with this shit no more. 703 00:53:10,846 --> 00:53:14,681 See, he's got a personality like a person. 704 00:53:18,520 --> 00:53:21,087 Where do you two think you're going? 705 00:53:21,789 --> 00:53:25,359 I'm taking my secretary... to the boardroom. 706 00:53:25,360 --> 00:53:27,862 He wants me to take dick-tation. 707 00:53:29,498 --> 00:53:31,064 Oh, shut up. 708 00:53:53,654 --> 00:53:56,957 Get lost. We're trying to have a conversation. 709 00:53:56,958 --> 00:53:59,327 - Freddy, come here. - What? 710 00:53:59,328 --> 00:54:03,963 I don't know, I got a math question I'm trying to figure out. Just get over here. 711 00:54:11,006 --> 00:54:12,373 What do you want? 712 00:54:12,374 --> 00:54:14,909 Look, Tony wants to get with Dina. 713 00:54:14,910 --> 00:54:17,745 I wanna get with Teresa, and you wanna get with Valerie, right? 714 00:54:17,746 --> 00:54:18,746 Yeah. 715 00:54:18,747 --> 00:54:22,383 Well, there's four of them, and there's three of us. 716 00:54:22,384 --> 00:54:23,751 So you know what that means? 717 00:54:23,752 --> 00:54:27,355 No one is gonna get with anyone until we figure out a way to extract the grenade. 718 00:54:27,356 --> 00:54:28,556 Make it three on three. 719 00:54:28,557 --> 00:54:30,925 Hey, girls, girls, you guys... you guys want a doughnut? 720 00:54:30,926 --> 00:54:32,988 No, the doughnuts are for you, honey. We get it... 721 00:54:33,014 --> 00:54:35,351 you like to eat fuckin' doughnuts all the time. 722 00:54:35,377 --> 00:54:38,666 No fucking way. I'm not taking one for the team for the fifth fucking time in a row. 723 00:54:38,667 --> 00:54:41,402 - Oh, come on, Freddy. - We got a better idea. 724 00:54:41,403 --> 00:54:43,404 Just start talking to her as if you like her, 725 00:54:43,405 --> 00:54:45,740 and pretend you're interested in what she says, right? 726 00:54:45,741 --> 00:54:48,542 Ask her to take you to the store, like you gotta go get something. 727 00:54:48,543 --> 00:54:51,779 Yeah, use my car. Now, when you get a few miles down the road, 728 00:54:51,780 --> 00:54:55,182 just open the door, let her out, and drive away. 729 00:54:55,183 --> 00:54:58,886 Yeah, but then when she finds her way back, they're all gonna hate us. 730 00:54:58,887 --> 00:55:01,155 So? We'll be done. 731 00:55:01,156 --> 00:55:05,159 Yeah... Tony will be smashing Dina, I'll be hooking up with Teresa, 732 00:55:05,160 --> 00:55:06,894 and Valerie, she'll be all yours. 733 00:55:09,798 --> 00:55:10,798 Youse are good. 734 00:55:10,799 --> 00:55:13,566 - Go get 'em. - Watch this. 735 00:55:16,070 --> 00:55:18,072 What are you guys talking about over there? 736 00:55:18,073 --> 00:55:21,041 Tony just wanted to find out the square route of 37, 737 00:55:21,042 --> 00:55:23,644 so I figured I'd help him out, you know? 738 00:55:23,645 --> 00:55:27,181 Oh, okay. 739 00:55:27,182 --> 00:55:31,218 - You must be good with numbers. - Well... 740 00:55:31,219 --> 00:55:33,687 I know a perfect 10 when I see one. 741 00:55:33,688 --> 00:55:37,758 Ohh.... You're so sweet. 742 00:55:37,959 --> 00:55:41,429 I never got to tell you about my ferret, Mr. Wiggles. 743 00:55:41,430 --> 00:55:44,098 Oh, yeah, I'm so interested. Please, tell me. 744 00:55:44,099 --> 00:55:48,068 Well, every Christmas, I dress him up in a ballerina costume. 745 00:55:48,069 --> 00:55:51,105 Wow. Jeez. 746 00:55:51,106 --> 00:55:52,606 What? 747 00:55:52,607 --> 00:55:57,912 Oh, nothing, I just wish I had a cigarette when we talked about Mr. Wiggles. 748 00:55:57,913 --> 00:56:00,714 We could drive into town to get a pack, if you want. 749 00:56:00,715 --> 00:56:02,983 Yeah, that's a great idea! 750 00:56:02,984 --> 00:56:06,520 Then we could smoke cigarettes and talk about Mr. Wiggles all night! 751 00:56:06,521 --> 00:56:08,221 Let's go! 752 00:56:23,604 --> 00:56:25,673 Oh, you nasty little bitch. 753 00:56:25,674 --> 00:56:28,876 Oh... oh. 754 00:56:28,877 --> 00:56:31,545 Oh, fuck yeah. 755 00:56:38,220 --> 00:56:39,520 Aah! 756 00:56:50,131 --> 00:56:54,101 - I have a hamster named Buzzy that... - Oh, wow, that's fucking amazing. 757 00:56:54,102 --> 00:56:56,636 He knows how to swim. 758 00:57:05,979 --> 00:57:08,248 Hey, what's up? 759 00:57:08,249 --> 00:57:11,785 Nothing, just, uh, catching up on some emails. 760 00:57:11,786 --> 00:57:15,288 That's cool. So, uh... 761 00:57:15,289 --> 00:57:19,602 - you get good reception out here? - Yeah, it's not too bad. 762 00:57:19,628 --> 00:57:22,229 - Oh, really? - Yeah... 763 00:57:22,230 --> 00:57:24,732 So, um... 764 00:57:24,733 --> 00:57:27,201 - What's wrong? - Nothing. 765 00:57:27,202 --> 00:57:28,869 Nothing, I'm just hanging out, you know? 766 00:57:28,870 --> 00:57:30,871 - It's all good, sweetheart. - It's, uh... 767 00:57:30,872 --> 00:57:35,877 - You're gonna have fun, come on. - Yeah, I'm having a good time. 768 00:57:36,578 --> 00:57:38,112 Just relax. 769 00:57:38,113 --> 00:57:40,147 - I'm pretty relaxed. - Just relax. 770 00:57:40,148 --> 00:57:42,516 - What the fuck?! - What the hell was that? 771 00:57:42,517 --> 00:57:45,719 What the fuck?! What, you don't wanna be with me? 772 00:57:45,720 --> 00:57:47,988 No, why would you think I'd wanna be with you? 773 00:57:47,989 --> 00:57:51,292 'Cause every other bitch in New Jersey would kill to wife me up! 774 00:57:51,293 --> 00:57:52,760 Wife... really? 775 00:57:52,761 --> 00:57:56,564 'Cause if I was married to you, I'd put poison in your orange juice every morning! 776 00:57:56,565 --> 00:58:01,069 Yeah, well, if I was married to you, I'd drink it, you fuckin' bitch! 777 00:58:03,438 --> 00:58:05,104 Dick. 778 00:58:10,644 --> 00:58:15,149 So, uh, is Buzzy a boy or a girl hamster? 779 00:58:17,385 --> 00:58:20,287 So how much longer to the store? 780 00:58:20,288 --> 00:58:24,124 Couldn't be much further. Oh, my God, you see that? 781 00:58:24,325 --> 00:58:25,159 See what? 782 00:58:25,160 --> 00:58:27,695 Looked like a little puppy dog... it crossed the road. 783 00:58:27,696 --> 00:58:31,065 - A puppy dog? - Yeah, it looked like it was lost! 784 00:58:31,066 --> 00:58:33,367 Stop the car! 785 00:58:33,368 --> 00:58:37,371 I think it ran into the cow pasture! Oh, God, I hope the cows don't eat him! 786 00:58:37,372 --> 00:58:39,340 Oh, my God! 787 00:58:43,712 --> 00:58:47,114 Freddy! Freddy, you asshole! 788 00:58:55,123 --> 00:58:58,258 There's so many hot gorilla juiceheads in here... 789 00:58:58,259 --> 00:58:59,994 Hey, where's Rosemarie? 790 00:58:59,995 --> 00:59:04,164 Uh, she saw an all-night buffet and decided to go back for a midnight snack. 791 00:59:06,767 --> 00:59:08,102 What? 792 00:59:08,103 --> 00:59:10,938 Mmm. Where's my shot? 793 00:59:10,939 --> 00:59:13,007 - Hey, wingman! - Oh, yeah! 794 00:59:17,144 --> 00:59:18,812 Huh? 795 00:59:18,813 --> 00:59:20,147 Ah! 796 00:59:27,856 --> 00:59:31,825 - Vinnie, you fucking asshole! - What? 797 00:59:31,826 --> 00:59:35,296 Fuck all of youse. I need a smoke. 798 00:59:37,732 --> 00:59:39,400 Yo, hey, come back here, you pussy! 799 00:59:39,401 --> 00:59:42,535 What'd you have, two bowls of stupid this morning? 800 00:59:46,408 --> 00:59:47,941 Oh, that was a good one. 801 00:59:48,943 --> 00:59:51,679 - Yo, that was dope. - Eww. 802 00:59:51,680 --> 00:59:52,785 Why do they keep flying into it 803 00:59:52,811 --> 00:59:55,449 when they see their friends exploding all over the place? 804 00:59:55,450 --> 01:00:01,121 Just mindless life forms following the light aimlessly into the darkness. 805 01:00:07,295 --> 01:00:08,827 Mm? 806 01:00:37,325 --> 01:00:38,926 Hey, anybody home in here? 807 01:00:50,904 --> 01:00:54,341 - Hey, where'd Freddy go? - He had a hissy fit and took off. 808 01:00:54,342 --> 01:00:57,010 Oh, he's got my fucking keys! 809 01:00:57,011 --> 01:01:00,180 You just gonna leave me here? Screw him. 810 01:01:00,181 --> 01:01:03,817 - Ah, quiet, bitch. - Screw you. 811 01:01:03,818 --> 01:01:06,086 Hey, Freddy! 812 01:01:06,487 --> 01:01:10,124 - What's he doing? - Dropping dead, I hope. 813 01:01:10,325 --> 01:01:13,460 Hey, I'm starving. What do we got to eat? 814 01:01:13,461 --> 01:01:15,929 I got some hot dogs in the fridge. 815 01:01:15,930 --> 01:01:19,632 Hot dogs? I'm all over that shit. 816 01:01:24,539 --> 01:01:30,209 Hey, Freddy, you fucking dickhead! Where are you? 817 01:01:40,587 --> 01:01:42,657 Freddy? 818 01:01:43,358 --> 01:01:45,159 Where the fuck are you? 819 01:01:45,160 --> 01:01:47,293 Vinnie! 820 01:01:49,062 --> 01:01:52,330 If he's fucking with me, I'm gonna throw him a beatin'. 821 01:01:56,436 --> 01:01:58,304 Freddy? 822 01:02:04,478 --> 01:02:08,115 So, yeah, I do, like, about 1,000 push-ups every day. 823 01:02:08,116 --> 01:02:10,150 Really? 824 01:02:10,151 --> 01:02:12,319 I need to eat now. 825 01:02:12,320 --> 01:02:16,890 Good... get the barbecue going while I get the other stuff ready. 826 01:02:16,891 --> 01:02:19,293 All right. 827 01:02:38,612 --> 01:02:40,547 Mm! 828 01:03:33,533 --> 01:03:36,637 No... 829 01:05:06,961 --> 01:05:08,861 Kill me. 830 01:05:11,999 --> 01:05:14,768 Please kill me. 831 01:05:23,644 --> 01:05:25,712 Did you hear that? 832 01:05:26,013 --> 01:05:27,080 Hear what? 833 01:05:27,081 --> 01:05:28,782 I thought I heard something outside. 834 01:05:28,783 --> 01:05:31,452 It's probably just the guys horsing around. 835 01:05:34,755 --> 01:05:37,257 There it is again. 836 01:05:37,258 --> 01:05:39,459 Why don't you see if they want anything to eat? 837 01:05:39,460 --> 01:05:42,295 Yeah, Val, I'm starving. 838 01:05:42,296 --> 01:05:46,566 All right. I'll be right back. 839 01:05:48,669 --> 01:05:50,237 Mmm. 840 01:05:50,238 --> 01:05:52,272 Told you I was hungry. 841 01:06:06,319 --> 01:06:08,355 Freddy? 842 01:06:08,856 --> 01:06:11,023 Vinnie. 843 01:06:12,626 --> 01:06:14,893 Freddy? 844 01:06:15,629 --> 01:06:18,230 Stop horsing around. 845 01:06:19,533 --> 01:06:21,701 Vinnie? 846 01:06:26,339 --> 01:06:28,373 Freddy? 847 01:06:34,047 --> 01:06:36,215 Vinnie? 848 01:06:38,618 --> 01:06:40,452 Freddy! 849 01:06:42,589 --> 01:06:45,559 Hey, how many dogs am I supposed to be making out there? 850 01:06:45,560 --> 01:06:49,830 - We don't know yet. - Where the hell is Valerie? 851 01:06:50,331 --> 01:06:53,266 So, Dina, whose house is this anyway? 852 01:06:53,267 --> 01:06:56,403 - It's Teresa's Uncle Vito's house. - And who's Uncle Vito? 853 01:06:56,404 --> 01:06:59,372 Vito Rubino. 854 01:06:59,573 --> 01:07:03,677 Teresa's uncle is Big "V" Rubino? 855 01:07:03,678 --> 01:07:06,114 - Isn't he in jail? - He's under house arrest... 856 01:07:06,140 --> 01:07:10,216 but I wouldn't bet on too many witnesses testifying against him. 857 01:07:10,217 --> 01:07:14,588 That's it. I gotta go find where these meatballs are. I'll be right back. 858 01:07:14,589 --> 01:07:16,490 Hurry up. 859 01:07:23,730 --> 01:07:27,834 Yo, Freddy, Vinnie! Teresa's uncle is Big "V" Rubino. 860 01:07:27,835 --> 01:07:30,869 We gotta get the fuck outta here! 861 01:07:35,408 --> 01:07:38,277 Hey, you dickheads in there? 862 01:07:41,781 --> 01:07:43,849 What the fuck? 863 01:08:01,901 --> 01:08:04,538 I'm gonna go and straighten things up around the pool. 864 01:08:04,539 --> 01:08:07,240 - You want a hand? - No, I got it, um... 865 01:08:07,241 --> 01:08:11,309 could you clean things up around here and see when everyone would like to eat? 866 01:08:14,581 --> 01:08:17,749 I bet they'll be dying to eat by now. 867 01:08:45,212 --> 01:08:46,912 Shit! 868 01:09:31,592 --> 01:09:33,892 Bunch of pigs. 869 01:09:35,562 --> 01:09:37,396 Ugh. 870 01:09:49,310 --> 01:09:51,376 You guys want something to eat? 871 01:10:01,555 --> 01:10:03,790 Dina! Dina! 872 01:10:05,826 --> 01:10:07,294 Dina! 873 01:10:07,295 --> 01:10:10,411 Joey and Joanne! They're dead. 874 01:10:10,437 --> 01:10:13,661 - So is Gigi! - What about Candi and Gino? 875 01:10:13,662 --> 01:10:16,670 I don't know... I don't know. They have to still be in their room. 876 01:10:16,671 --> 01:10:19,339 Oh, my God. 877 01:10:32,852 --> 01:10:36,488 - What's going on? - I don't know. 878 01:10:43,396 --> 01:10:44,831 Wait... 879 01:10:49,268 --> 01:10:50,670 Gino! 880 01:10:57,244 --> 01:10:58,912 Dina! 881 01:10:58,913 --> 01:11:03,083 Dina, open the door! Dina, help me! 882 01:11:03,084 --> 01:11:05,083 Tony! 883 01:11:18,765 --> 01:11:20,934 Help me. 884 01:11:21,969 --> 01:11:25,839 - Oh, my God, what's going on? - I don't know... call 9-1-1. 885 01:11:29,076 --> 01:11:31,411 Uncle Vito? Uncle Vito, pick up! 886 01:11:31,412 --> 01:11:34,013 Yeah, somebody's trying to kill us! 887 01:11:39,786 --> 01:11:42,254 Quick, open the door! 888 01:11:46,160 --> 01:11:47,994 Ohh! 889 01:11:47,995 --> 01:11:52,030 Dina, it's stuck! Oh, my God. 890 01:11:54,901 --> 01:11:57,003 - Run! - Oh, my God. 891 01:11:59,173 --> 01:12:03,042 Come on... come on, get up! Get up... run! 892 01:12:03,043 --> 01:12:05,210 Let's get out of here! 893 01:12:10,384 --> 01:12:12,452 Oh, my God! 894 01:12:16,657 --> 01:12:18,825 - Oh, God. - Oh, holy shit. 895 01:12:18,826 --> 01:12:20,760 Oh, God. 896 01:12:20,761 --> 01:12:23,663 - Where are the fucking keys? - Come on! 897 01:12:33,139 --> 01:12:35,175 Come on! 898 01:12:35,176 --> 01:12:37,777 Let us in! 899 01:12:37,778 --> 01:12:41,379 It's locked! Come on! 900 01:12:41,981 --> 01:12:43,949 Come on. 901 01:12:44,818 --> 01:12:46,451 Ohh! 902 01:13:05,172 --> 01:13:07,073 Shit! 903 01:13:07,074 --> 01:13:10,877 - Where's the fucking light switch? - I don't know. I got it! 904 01:13:20,820 --> 01:13:23,957 Go, go, go! Go! 905 01:13:25,226 --> 01:13:27,827 Oh, my God, oh, my God, oh, my God! 906 01:13:33,500 --> 01:13:35,467 Come on, come on! 907 01:13:37,370 --> 01:13:40,673 - Valerie! - Valerie! 908 01:13:40,674 --> 01:13:42,607 My God! 909 01:13:56,624 --> 01:13:58,822 - Where the fuck can we go? - We can't use the cars... 910 01:13:58,848 --> 01:14:01,283 - and he'll catch us in the woods. - If we can get to the rowboat... 911 01:14:01,309 --> 01:14:03,133 we can take it to the middle of the lake, where he can't reach us. 912 01:14:03,134 --> 01:14:06,716 You know I can't swim! If I fall in, I'll drown! 913 01:14:06,767 --> 01:14:09,936 Jesus Christ, Teresa, he's gonna kill us! 914 01:14:10,938 --> 01:14:14,105 Who are you? 915 01:14:16,209 --> 01:14:18,111 Edgar? 916 01:14:18,112 --> 01:14:20,680 Troy, my name is. 917 01:14:20,681 --> 01:14:24,150 - Why?! - It's a Jersey thing. 918 01:14:25,553 --> 01:14:26,953 Dina, look out! 919 01:14:28,055 --> 01:14:30,189 Dina! 920 01:14:55,881 --> 01:14:57,984 Police! 921 01:15:00,821 --> 01:15:03,089 What's wrong? Tell me what's wrong! 922 01:15:03,090 --> 01:15:04,958 Everybody's dead! 923 01:15:04,959 --> 01:15:07,860 Everybody? Is there anybody else? 924 01:15:07,861 --> 01:15:10,296 - In the house. - All right, stay here. 925 01:15:10,297 --> 01:15:11,998 Backup and the ambulance are on the way. 926 01:15:11,999 --> 01:15:15,034 Stay right here. Dennis, come on. 927 01:15:27,680 --> 01:15:32,285 I'm Officer Davis. Do you need any kind of medical assistance? 928 01:15:32,286 --> 01:15:35,154 Okay. Go check inside! 929 01:15:35,155 --> 01:15:37,624 Okay, I need you to tell me everything that happened. 930 01:15:37,625 --> 01:15:40,660 - I need to see Dina! - No, no, no. 931 01:15:40,661 --> 01:15:43,495 You can't go in there. You need to stay out here with me. 932 01:15:48,601 --> 01:15:51,604 I'll take care of this one. Check the rest of the barn for me. 933 01:15:51,605 --> 01:15:52,939 Okay. 934 01:15:55,442 --> 01:15:59,246 He's got a pulse! Help me get the gurney. 935 01:16:16,729 --> 01:16:17,730 Help me! 936 01:16:19,967 --> 01:16:22,101 Fuck! Oh, fuck. 937 01:16:22,102 --> 01:16:24,671 - What the fuck happened? - Man, I was nervous. 938 01:16:25,172 --> 01:16:28,841 - Gordon to Davis. - Hold on. 939 01:16:29,507 --> 01:16:31,935 - Davis, go. - How do I explain this? 940 01:16:31,936 --> 01:16:34,247 - I have an 11-71. - Shit. 941 01:16:34,248 --> 01:16:36,315 I think you should get over here right now. 942 01:16:36,316 --> 01:16:39,152 I'm on my way. Okay... 943 01:16:39,153 --> 01:16:44,622 I need you to stay in this spot, okay? I'll be right back. 944 01:16:47,927 --> 01:16:50,897 Plant this in his hands. We'll just say it was self-defense, all right? 945 01:16:50,898 --> 01:16:54,900 All right, cool. Good looking out, man. 946 01:16:57,904 --> 01:17:02,273 Dex, look at this. How am I supposed to say that? 947 01:17:05,812 --> 01:17:09,247 Some weird shit going on here, man. 948 01:17:58,898 --> 01:18:02,767 This can't be the guy. Wasn't this guy missing an eye? 949 01:18:13,581 --> 01:18:17,115 Get over here right now. 950 01:18:33,499 --> 01:18:36,035 Take that, motherfucker! 951 01:19:05,998 --> 01:19:09,100 Come back here, you bitch! 952 01:19:13,072 --> 01:19:16,241 I'll gut ya like a pig! 953 01:19:28,421 --> 01:19:32,593 I'll turn your insides into sausage! 954 01:19:47,740 --> 01:19:52,076 ♪ Row, row, row your boat ♪ 955 01:20:12,432 --> 01:20:14,100 No! 956 01:20:14,101 --> 01:20:17,470 No! 957 01:20:22,409 --> 01:20:24,110 Please! 958 01:20:26,446 --> 01:20:28,447 Please! 959 01:20:28,448 --> 01:20:32,684 Get over here right now. 960 01:20:34,121 --> 01:20:36,355 Please! 961 01:20:41,928 --> 01:20:44,762 Get over here right now. 962 01:20:49,969 --> 01:20:52,537 Uncle Vito! 963 01:21:03,416 --> 01:21:04,951 Uncle Vito! 964 01:21:07,787 --> 01:21:12,391 He was gonna kill me, just like he killed Dina and everyone else. 965 01:21:12,392 --> 01:21:16,228 - Everything's gonna be all right. - How did you get here so fast? 966 01:21:16,229 --> 01:21:18,797 When Edgar called, we knew something was wrong. 967 01:21:18,798 --> 01:21:19,999 Edgar? 968 01:21:20,000 --> 01:21:23,093 Last week, two of my guys went missing down here, and when you called, 969 01:21:23,119 --> 01:21:26,973 said you were coming down for the weekend, I asked Edgar to keep an eye on you. 970 01:21:27,474 --> 01:21:30,409 He left me this message an hour before you called. 971 01:21:31,063 --> 01:21:34,547 Mr. V., my brother's lost his fuckin' mind today. 972 01:21:34,548 --> 01:21:37,616 Turned our barn into a fuckin' slaughterhouse. 973 01:21:37,617 --> 01:21:40,019 Give me the phone, you big idiot. 974 01:21:40,020 --> 01:21:41,320 Troy, no! 975 01:21:43,690 --> 01:21:45,758 Oh, my God. 976 01:21:46,359 --> 01:21:51,097 Promise me I'll never have to see this place again. 977 01:21:51,498 --> 01:21:54,333 - Please. - I promise, Princess. 978 01:21:54,334 --> 01:21:58,103 Never again. Never again! 979 01:22:17,190 --> 01:22:20,794 It's so beautiful out here, and I love all this nature, but... 980 01:22:20,820 --> 01:22:23,062 don't you miss your beach house down by the shore? 981 01:22:23,063 --> 01:22:26,699 What beach house? After the storm, there was nothing left. 982 01:22:26,700 --> 01:22:30,236 So I took the insurance money, and I bought all of this. 983 01:22:30,237 --> 01:22:33,072 No way. You own all of this? 984 01:22:33,073 --> 01:22:36,317 - This must have cost you a fortune. - A fortune? 985 01:22:36,343 --> 01:22:41,149 A fortune? The little mobster who used to own it was so anxious to sell it, 986 01:22:41,175 --> 01:22:47,281 he practically gave it away. So I wound up spending pennies to buy a fully renovated, 987 01:22:47,282 --> 01:22:50,899 cool-as-balls home with a lake! 988 01:22:51,425 --> 01:22:54,126 Tell me I'm not the luckiest guy in the world. 989 01:22:54,127 --> 01:22:56,761 That's why I like you, Ronnie. 990 01:22:58,664 --> 01:23:01,734 'Cause you're smart and you're classy. 991 01:23:04,438 --> 01:23:08,739 Ohh... life is good. 992 01:23:22,588 --> 01:23:27,026 Oh, my God! That's a huge gun! 993 01:23:27,527 --> 01:23:31,028 And it's always fully loaded. 994 01:24:01,260 --> 01:24:03,462 Here, little puppy. 995 01:24:03,663 --> 01:24:07,366 Come out, come out wherever you are. 996 01:24:07,567 --> 01:24:10,870 Come here, little puppy. Don't let the cows eat you. 74127

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