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1
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Z hold fast to the law
2
00:00:05,120 --> 00:00:09,432
z of the last cold Tome
3
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z where the earth of the truth
4
00:00:13,440 --> 00:00:17,638
♪ lies thick upon the page
5
00:00:17,760 --> 00:00:20,479
z and the loam of faith
6
00:00:20,600 --> 00:00:23,068
♪ in the ink long fled
7
00:00:23,200 --> 00:00:28,115
z from the drone of the nib flows on
8
00:00:28,240 --> 00:00:34,156
♪ till the last of the first depart
9
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♪ and the least of the past is dust
10
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2z and the dust
11
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2z the dust is lost
12
00:00:48,880 --> 00:00:52,714
z hold fast
13
00:00:52,840 --> 00:00:57,834
♪ gormenghast
14
00:00:57,960 --> 00:01:02,750
♪ gormenghast, ♪
15
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Poet...
16
00:01:31,480 --> 00:01:34,790
Day of... ancient...
17
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Time of the 23rd Earl.
18
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Hm... did he?
19
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Ha.
20
00:01:42,600 --> 00:01:44,079
Ha!
21
00:01:44,200 --> 00:01:50,070
The reading of the laureate's
ten-year meditation on... art!
22
00:01:50,200 --> 00:01:51,679
Pfft!
23
00:01:54,960 --> 00:01:58,669
Damned art. Damned poetry.
Damned poetic ass!
24
00:01:58,800 --> 00:02:01,776
He won't have finished it. And he'll want
it changed at the last minute. Damned...
25
00:02:01,800 --> 00:02:03,119
Ass!
26
00:02:03,240 --> 00:02:06,038
- Damned...
- Don't worry, damned arse-wipe,
27
00:02:06,160 --> 00:02:08,913
your assistant knows
the ritual of the poet off by heart!
28
00:02:10,600 --> 00:02:11,874
He'll do it for you.
29
00:02:13,480 --> 00:02:15,471
Like he does everything else.
30
00:02:21,880 --> 00:02:24,394
Excuse me, lordship!
31
00:02:31,760 --> 00:02:35,469
Titus! Titus groan!
This is no racetrack, young sir!
32
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I am allowed to ride after breakfast,
33
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and in the castle, between eight and nine
on a Monday morning.
34
00:02:40,840 --> 00:02:42,671
That's the rules, professor bellgrove,
sir.
35
00:02:42,800 --> 00:02:43,869
Quite. Quite so.
36
00:02:44,000 --> 00:02:46,992
But no permission to trample
your old schoolmaster half to death,
37
00:02:47,120 --> 00:02:50,112
am I correct? Yes, I am.
38
00:02:50,240 --> 00:02:52,151
You look pale, young lordship.
39
00:02:52,280 --> 00:02:54,111
Are you all right?
40
00:02:54,240 --> 00:02:56,176
You haven't been riding
over somebody's ghost, have you?
41
00:02:56,200 --> 00:02:57,428
There's no such thing, sir!
42
00:02:57,560 --> 00:03:00,552
Hm. Er, punctuality, Titus!
43
00:03:00,680 --> 00:03:05,037
Tardiness is next to cleanliness!
Don't be late!
44
00:03:05,160 --> 00:03:07,720
They were floating about 30 yards out.
45
00:03:07,840 --> 00:03:09,717
Here, look. Two hats...
46
00:03:10,880 --> 00:03:13,155
And a letter.
47
00:03:20,600 --> 00:03:23,398
Oh! What do you make of that?
48
00:03:23,520 --> 00:03:25,158
"No more fire.
49
00:03:25,280 --> 00:03:27,396
"Our lips are sealed.
50
00:03:27,520 --> 00:03:31,115
"Our power is in water."
51
00:03:31,240 --> 00:03:33,913
Clarice and Cora? Hm!
52
00:03:34,040 --> 00:03:35,837
The appearance given, mr secretary,
53
00:03:35,960 --> 00:03:38,758
is that their two ladyships
have drowned themselves.
54
00:03:38,880 --> 00:03:40,871
Good riddance, if you ask me. Hm!
55
00:04:05,080 --> 00:04:06,308
Do you have a goat?
56
00:04:06,440 --> 00:04:08,192
A goat, ladyship?
57
00:04:08,320 --> 00:04:09,594
Milk - for the cats.
58
00:04:09,720 --> 00:04:14,157
Ah! I see what you mean!
A goat! Have I got a goat?
59
00:04:23,000 --> 00:04:24,797
- Ah, that's better.
- Bring my goat.
60
00:04:26,320 --> 00:04:29,551
- Your goat?
- The goat, man. Bring it.
61
00:04:32,280 --> 00:04:33,952
We haven't got a goat.
62
00:04:34,080 --> 00:04:37,959
I require service, not sophistry!
Get my goat!
63
00:04:40,960 --> 00:04:45,397
I am amazed, ladyship -
where are the traditions of service?
64
00:04:45,520 --> 00:04:46,555
How old are you?
65
00:04:46,680 --> 00:04:49,399
Er... 38, madam.
66
00:04:49,520 --> 00:04:51,033
Sit down.
67
00:04:51,160 --> 00:04:52,434
Ladyship.
68
00:04:55,520 --> 00:04:59,035
Er, five years, madam.
69
00:04:59,160 --> 00:05:02,038
I've been thinking.
Since the burning of the library
70
00:05:02,160 --> 00:05:05,277
and the disappearance of my husband,
things have been wrong.
71
00:05:05,400 --> 00:05:09,109
For years, something uneasy.
Do you feel it, squallor?
72
00:05:09,240 --> 00:05:11,151
And now Clarice and Cora.
73
00:05:11,280 --> 00:05:13,510
Bodies not found, not buried.
74
00:05:13,640 --> 00:05:19,158
Their note mentioned a burning,
ladyship. Perhaps it was they who...?
75
00:05:19,280 --> 00:05:20,349
Burn the library?
76
00:05:20,480 --> 00:05:23,199
A groan burn a groan? Never!
77
00:05:23,320 --> 00:05:25,834
Made me think of it all again.
78
00:05:25,960 --> 00:05:28,030
There is something among us.
79
00:05:28,160 --> 00:05:29,991
There is stench.
80
00:05:30,120 --> 00:05:31,553
I can smell it.
81
00:05:31,680 --> 00:05:33,830
Do you mean...
82
00:05:33,960 --> 00:05:36,190
Rebellion, ladyship?
83
00:05:36,320 --> 00:05:41,269
Rebellion? Who would dare
rebel against gormenghast?
84
00:05:42,800 --> 00:05:45,314
- Forgive me, madam.
- I want you to watch.
85
00:05:45,440 --> 00:05:47,192
Watch for me, do you hear?
86
00:05:47,320 --> 00:05:50,153
If there is such a thing as rebellion,
we shall find it.
87
00:05:50,280 --> 00:05:51,679
Do you understand me, squallor?
88
00:05:51,800 --> 00:05:53,518
I have no doubt, ladyship.
89
00:05:58,120 --> 00:06:00,839
Ooh. Ooh...
90
00:06:03,520 --> 00:06:06,876
- I've found one, doctor!
- Wrong sex, you idiot!
91
00:06:07,000 --> 00:06:11,312
- You bring the female goat, you fool!
- Female goat?
92
00:06:13,160 --> 00:06:15,958
- Take it away.
- Ha!
93
00:06:23,880 --> 00:06:27,156
I have a faith in you, squallor.
I don't know why.
94
00:06:27,280 --> 00:06:28,998
- I am honoured, madam.
- Mark my words...
95
00:06:29,120 --> 00:06:32,317
If this thing exists, it shall be crushed.
96
00:06:32,440 --> 00:06:34,192
Steerpike!
97
00:06:37,240 --> 00:06:40,391
Steerpike! You're a pest!
Never where I need you!
98
00:06:40,520 --> 00:06:41,555
Yes, sir.
99
00:06:43,240 --> 00:06:47,870
And don't call me sir if you don't
mean it, you obsequious rat!
100
00:06:48,000 --> 00:06:49,752
Double suicide, no bodies.
101
00:06:49,880 --> 00:06:51,199
No bodies, no funeral.
102
00:06:51,320 --> 00:06:52,719
Where are we then?
103
00:06:52,840 --> 00:06:54,432
We could bury their hats, sir.
104
00:06:54,560 --> 00:06:58,269
I'll wipe that grin off your clock,
damn slug!
105
00:06:58,400 --> 00:07:01,551
- Ooh!
- Get me corpses!
106
00:07:01,680 --> 00:07:02,874
And quick!
107
00:07:14,120 --> 00:07:19,399
As a matter of fact, I don't think
I will, mr secretary barquentine.
108
00:07:19,520 --> 00:07:22,592
Arse-wipe and shit-licker... sir.
109
00:07:38,480 --> 00:07:41,313
Huh!
110
00:07:41,440 --> 00:07:46,833
Doggit! Is that really you
behind that mask of grime and ink?
111
00:07:46,960 --> 00:07:51,317
If it is, are you trying to carve
your name in your desk
112
00:07:51,440 --> 00:07:53,715
when you thought your master was asleep?
113
00:07:53,840 --> 00:07:55,558
Yes, sir.
114
00:07:55,680 --> 00:07:58,513
Having a go at the whole thing,
were you, doggit?
115
00:07:58,640 --> 00:08:00,437
Only done the first three letters, sir.
116
00:08:00,560 --> 00:08:03,632
Yes, well, you can leave the second g
till later, boy.
117
00:08:03,760 --> 00:08:05,478
The second g, sir?
118
00:08:05,600 --> 00:08:07,192
Yes. There are two gs in...
119
00:08:07,320 --> 00:08:09,550
Damn it, boy! Don't you know
how to spell your own name?
120
00:08:13,240 --> 00:08:15,117
Come on, off you go. Shoo!
121
00:08:22,760 --> 00:08:25,513
It's break, young lordship.
122
00:08:25,640 --> 00:08:27,312
Milk and a biscuit?
123
00:08:37,640 --> 00:08:41,519
Stop playing with your teeth, bellgrove.
It's damn rude!
124
00:08:41,640 --> 00:08:43,278
I am in pain, mr perch.
125
00:08:43,400 --> 00:08:45,709
And what the hell have my teeth
got to do with you?
126
00:08:45,840 --> 00:08:49,230
You're a hoarder, you damn pedant!
127
00:08:49,360 --> 00:08:50,793
Get them extracted!
128
00:08:53,280 --> 00:08:55,316
Oh, poor old fangs!
129
00:08:55,440 --> 00:08:57,908
Fangs? Is that how you consider me, fluke?
130
00:08:58,040 --> 00:09:00,429
Canine! I'll remind you that,
131
00:09:00,560 --> 00:09:05,475
15 short years ago, I was considered for
headmaster! Yes, fluke, headmaster.
132
00:09:05,600 --> 00:09:06,600
Ow!
133
00:09:06,640 --> 00:09:08,710
Pain doesn't exist, dear boy.
134
00:09:08,840 --> 00:09:12,116
It is merely an expression
of inner disturbance.
135
00:09:12,240 --> 00:09:15,915
The fact that you imagine it to be
in your teeth is interesting.
136
00:09:16,040 --> 00:09:18,634
Have you said something
you regret lately?
137
00:09:18,760 --> 00:09:19,636
Ow!
138
00:09:19,760 --> 00:09:22,718
Pain doesn't exist, dear boy!
139
00:09:22,840 --> 00:09:24,796
Perhaps we've put our foot in it lately,
have we?
140
00:09:26,400 --> 00:09:27,400
Death!
141
00:09:27,520 --> 00:09:30,637
I can hear it squeak. Here it comes.
142
00:09:32,040 --> 00:09:35,635
Make way for death!
Make way for death!
143
00:09:35,760 --> 00:09:38,194
De'ath, man! De'ath! He has a name!
Show some respect!
144
00:09:38,320 --> 00:09:40,276
It's the headmaster! Get out of it!
145
00:09:40,400 --> 00:09:44,154
He's got something to say!
A notice for you all!
146
00:09:44,280 --> 00:09:45,554
Uh!
147
00:09:45,680 --> 00:09:46,999
Oh...
148
00:09:47,120 --> 00:09:50,317
Who are all these people?
149
00:09:50,440 --> 00:09:52,590
It's your staff, headmaster.
150
00:09:52,720 --> 00:09:54,199
- Oh.
- Shall I...
151
00:09:54,320 --> 00:09:56,709
Shall I get bellgrove to read the edict?
152
00:09:56,840 --> 00:09:58,751
Why not?
153
00:09:58,880 --> 00:10:02,077
What an honour, headmaster! Thank you.
An edict!
154
00:10:02,200 --> 00:10:04,634
Read it! Hurry up. It's from barquentine.
155
00:10:04,760 --> 00:10:06,239
Get your teeth into it, bellgrove!
156
00:10:06,360 --> 00:10:09,796
Yes. Can he understand
more than seven words in a row?
157
00:10:09,920 --> 00:10:11,558
Silence!
158
00:10:11,680 --> 00:10:13,193
Professor bellgrove.
159
00:10:13,320 --> 00:10:16,471
"Reference, lord Titus, 77th Earl.
160
00:10:16,600 --> 00:10:21,833
"I, being secretary barquentine, give
notice to remind you that no privileges
161
00:10:21,960 --> 00:10:25,635
"of caste, class or title shall be
afforded the aforesaid lord,
162
00:10:25,760 --> 00:10:27,990
"according to the iron-clad precedents
of gormenghast.
163
00:10:28,120 --> 00:10:31,635
"He shall be of the ordinary,
no more, no less,
164
00:10:31,760 --> 00:10:33,432
"until his time of reason and puberty.
165
00:10:33,560 --> 00:10:37,314
"Take note -
you exist to teach, not Fawn."
166
00:10:37,440 --> 00:10:41,035
- Fawn?
- Barquentine, you bastard bugger!
167
00:10:41,160 --> 00:10:46,188
"Headmaster de'ath, I would have you
impress upon your staff
168
00:10:46,320 --> 00:10:49,869
"the magnitude of their office and,
in particular, those who confuse
169
00:10:50,000 --> 00:10:51,797
"their calling with indolence.
170
00:10:51,920 --> 00:10:55,549
"Signed, as for barquentine,
steerpike."
171
00:10:55,680 --> 00:10:56,908
Steerpike?
172
00:10:57,040 --> 00:11:00,271
It's you, bellgrove.
The whole damn thing's aimed at you!
173
00:11:00,400 --> 00:11:01,515
How dare you!
174
00:11:01,640 --> 00:11:04,757
Ha! But you teach his lordship, don't you?
175
00:11:04,880 --> 00:11:08,668
Who did you say all these people were?
176
00:11:08,800 --> 00:11:11,917
Nothing you need be concerned with,
headmaster.
177
00:11:12,040 --> 00:11:14,315
- Out! Out!
- No!
178
00:11:14,440 --> 00:11:16,829
- Death's out!
- No!
179
00:11:18,920 --> 00:11:22,230
Steerpike, you bastard bugger!
180
00:11:52,840 --> 00:11:54,796
It's worse!
181
00:11:54,920 --> 00:11:58,435
300 dead and rising.
182
00:11:58,560 --> 00:12:01,518
And what a way to die!
183
00:12:01,640 --> 00:12:04,916
The fever, the boils, the blood!
184
00:12:05,040 --> 00:12:07,759
Most of them beg for the mercy of death!
185
00:12:07,880 --> 00:12:09,472
What about gertrude?
186
00:12:09,600 --> 00:12:12,239
She is quarantined, like you.
187
00:12:12,360 --> 00:12:14,430
Are you saying she's not even dead yet?
188
00:12:14,560 --> 00:12:16,118
Not even ill?
189
00:12:16,240 --> 00:12:20,631
I hear the lady fuchsia's looking
feverish, so there's hope yet.
190
00:12:20,760 --> 00:12:22,910
Surely, the time for you to emerge
191
00:12:23,040 --> 00:12:25,759
and claim your rightful power
cannot be far away.
192
00:12:25,880 --> 00:12:27,871
We want some servants.
193
00:12:28,000 --> 00:12:31,913
If I knew they weren't infected,
I'd bring you a hundred!
194
00:12:32,040 --> 00:12:33,712
But what would be more tragic?
195
00:12:33,840 --> 00:12:36,400
For you to be struck down
at the very moment
196
00:12:36,520 --> 00:12:38,909
when you were to mount
your golden thrones?
197
00:12:39,040 --> 00:12:40,519
Are they ready?
198
00:12:42,400 --> 00:12:44,072
We want to see them.
199
00:12:44,200 --> 00:12:48,193
Ladyships, I am trying to keep
the plague from your door!
200
00:12:48,320 --> 00:12:52,279
How dare you make these demands
on me!
201
00:12:52,400 --> 00:12:55,119
How dare you!
202
00:12:55,240 --> 00:12:57,629
I won't tolerate it!
203
00:12:57,760 --> 00:13:00,194
Get under the carpet!
204
00:13:01,520 --> 00:13:04,273
Get under the carpet now!
205
00:13:06,360 --> 00:13:08,476
Get under it!
206
00:13:08,600 --> 00:13:10,636
Or you'll get nothing!
207
00:13:10,760 --> 00:13:12,113
No servants,
208
00:13:12,240 --> 00:13:13,593
no crowns,
209
00:13:13,720 --> 00:13:14,789
no thrones!
210
00:13:14,920 --> 00:13:16,148
Nothing!
211
00:13:17,880 --> 00:13:20,474
Get under the carpet!
212
00:13:23,960 --> 00:13:25,473
Thank you.
213
00:13:26,760 --> 00:13:30,548
Now I shall continue to protect you
and return with provisions by and by.
214
00:13:51,200 --> 00:13:55,432
- We could, couldn't we?
- We could do it together.
215
00:13:56,520 --> 00:14:00,274
- Next time he comes.
- We could, couldn't we?
216
00:14:01,480 --> 00:14:03,835
Both: We could kill him.
217
00:14:03,960 --> 00:14:07,919
The ninth day of the month.
218
00:14:09,080 --> 00:14:11,196
The ninth, mr secretary.
219
00:14:11,320 --> 00:14:13,151
That's what I said!
220
00:14:13,280 --> 00:14:16,716
The egg should be blue, not red.
221
00:14:16,840 --> 00:14:20,469
The ninth, you dolt!
Didn't I say the ninth?
222
00:14:20,600 --> 00:14:23,592
The egg should be blue, not red.
223
00:14:25,040 --> 00:14:28,191
In addition to your
daily scholastic duties, lordship.
224
00:14:28,320 --> 00:14:29,833
11 o'clock,
225
00:14:29,960 --> 00:14:33,589
release of the five hawks
from the north-east turret.
226
00:14:33,720 --> 00:14:38,635
1.15, the groaning of the dungeon
227
00:14:38,760 --> 00:14:41,433
with your sister, lady fuchsia.
228
00:14:43,120 --> 00:14:47,193
Four o'clock,
blessing of the meat racks.
229
00:14:47,320 --> 00:14:50,232
Five o'clock,
the ceremony of the laureate,
230
00:14:50,360 --> 00:14:55,832
the reading of the ten-year meditation
on art - most important, lordship.
231
00:15:53,520 --> 00:15:56,114
Lesson... lesson over.
232
00:16:00,840 --> 00:16:03,229
Lordship, is that you?
We must rehearse
233
00:16:03,360 --> 00:16:05,191
the ceremony of the laureate.
234
00:16:05,320 --> 00:16:06,799
Come back!
235
00:16:06,920 --> 00:16:09,195
Delights of the rigours
of ancient learning.
236
00:16:10,320 --> 00:16:12,151
- Where's the boy?
- Boy, sir? What boy?
237
00:16:12,280 --> 00:16:16,114
Don't "what boy" me! There was a boy
in this corridor just now, I saw him.
238
00:16:16,240 --> 00:16:17,559
Where is he?!
239
00:16:17,680 --> 00:16:19,955
With respect, mr secretary,
you are here confronted
240
00:16:20,080 --> 00:16:23,231
with the greatest group of experts
on boys possibly ever assembled.
241
00:16:23,360 --> 00:16:25,635
We know what a boy looks like,
what he sounds like and...
242
00:16:25,760 --> 00:16:28,136
- What the idiot had for dinner!
- If I may, professor perch...
243
00:16:28,160 --> 00:16:30,230
Where's the sodding boy?!
244
00:16:30,360 --> 00:16:31,873
Bugger the bastard!
245
00:16:32,000 --> 00:16:34,719
I apologise for the tone
of my colleague, mr secretary...
246
00:16:34,840 --> 00:16:37,229
But not necessarily his intention.
247
00:16:41,840 --> 00:16:45,958
You have protected a boy
with insolence!
248
00:16:46,080 --> 00:16:47,957
If I may say, sir, it was not I who...
249
00:16:48,080 --> 00:16:50,833
Let me just say, bellgrove,
250
00:16:50,960 --> 00:16:54,714
that this afternoon
is the ceremony of the laureate.
251
00:16:54,840 --> 00:16:59,630
If every boy, and I mean every boy,
is not there assembled,
252
00:16:59,760 --> 00:17:04,231
I will personally twist
your malodorous intestines
253
00:17:04,360 --> 00:17:06,715
around your brainless skull!
254
00:17:06,840 --> 00:17:07,989
Stand aside!
255
00:17:13,800 --> 00:17:15,438
Titus?
256
00:17:15,560 --> 00:17:16,629
Titus!
257
00:17:16,760 --> 00:17:19,672
I know where you went, boy. Come on.
258
00:17:26,040 --> 00:17:27,439
Ti... Titus!
259
00:17:29,360 --> 00:17:31,999
Titus? Titus, come back!
260
00:17:32,120 --> 00:17:34,190
Lordship, please!
261
00:17:34,320 --> 00:17:36,914
It's the ceremony. Have you forgotten?
262
00:17:37,040 --> 00:17:38,359
Titus!
263
00:17:41,800 --> 00:17:44,155
Oh! Me, an expert on boys?
264
00:17:44,280 --> 00:17:47,272
You're a silly old fool,
professor bellgrove!
265
00:18:17,240 --> 00:18:20,596
The hall of bright carvings.
I must be near to the castle wall!
266
00:19:12,880 --> 00:19:14,154
Out.
267
00:19:15,800 --> 00:19:17,358
I'm out of it!
268
00:19:55,120 --> 00:19:57,429
All boys ready for the day
of the laureate, headmaster.
269
00:19:57,560 --> 00:20:00,518
Barquentine wants them counted.
270
00:20:04,760 --> 00:20:08,548
- Is he asleep?
- Famous for somnolent awareness, sir.
271
00:20:11,440 --> 00:20:15,752
Once a kitchen slug,
always a kitchen slug.
272
00:20:17,520 --> 00:20:19,954
All boys, headmaster!
273
00:20:20,080 --> 00:20:22,674
Every single one of them!
274
00:20:22,800 --> 00:20:25,792
Drainage!
275
00:20:34,400 --> 00:20:35,833
All clear!
276
00:20:39,440 --> 00:20:40,998
All: Yes!
277
00:20:48,360 --> 00:20:49,509
All clear!
278
00:20:53,640 --> 00:20:55,278
All: Yes!
279
00:20:57,440 --> 00:20:58,440
All clear.
280
00:21:01,680 --> 00:21:06,151
Look out, it's the headmaster!
Look out! Death is coming!
281
00:21:07,560 --> 00:21:10,393
Head count! Secretary barquentine
has ordered a head count!
282
00:21:10,520 --> 00:21:11,589
All boys to be counted!
283
00:21:11,720 --> 00:21:13,039
The headmaster!
284
00:21:17,600 --> 00:21:18,874
Headmaster!
285
00:21:27,800 --> 00:21:29,756
What? What? What?
286
00:21:32,720 --> 00:21:35,678
What happened? What...?
287
00:21:35,800 --> 00:21:40,112
Asleep! Are you accusing me
of dereliction of duty?
288
00:21:40,240 --> 00:21:43,391
I'll have you retract those words!
I was cogitating.
289
00:21:43,520 --> 00:21:47,069
A particularly deep problem
on the nature of ambition, as it happens.
290
00:21:47,200 --> 00:21:52,957
Besides, what were you all doing in my
inner sanctum, en masse, may I add?
291
00:21:53,080 --> 00:21:56,914
It's the young Earl, sir.
He's gone missing.
292
00:21:57,040 --> 00:22:00,077
Supposed to be in your class, wasn't he?
293
00:22:00,200 --> 00:22:04,591
My class? Do you mean he wasn't?
Oh, bless my soul!
294
00:22:04,720 --> 00:22:06,551
What do you suggest we do about it?
295
00:22:06,680 --> 00:22:08,511
I? Suggest?
296
00:22:08,640 --> 00:22:12,713
B-b-b-but why should it be I
who does the suggesting?
297
00:22:12,840 --> 00:22:15,593
Stupid bugger. Doesn't get it, does he?
298
00:22:15,720 --> 00:22:18,632
Headmaster, what are we going to do?
299
00:22:18,760 --> 00:22:19,795
Headmaster?
300
00:22:19,920 --> 00:22:24,391
The previous, if he could be said
to have existed at all,
301
00:22:24,520 --> 00:22:27,080
now without any doubt doesn't.
302
00:22:27,200 --> 00:22:30,795
And as the most senior
member of staff, bellgrove,
303
00:22:30,920 --> 00:22:33,195
whatever your qualifications,
304
00:22:33,320 --> 00:22:35,788
the burden now falls on you!
305
00:22:35,920 --> 00:22:37,797
Me?
306
00:22:37,920 --> 00:22:40,957
Head... head-headmaster?
307
00:22:41,080 --> 00:22:42,115
I...
308
00:22:42,240 --> 00:22:47,075
What do you mean, whatever my
qualifications? Upstart! Sluggard!
309
00:22:48,720 --> 00:22:52,269
Stop that, fluke!
Your wheezing sets my teeth on edge.
310
00:22:52,400 --> 00:22:56,791
Yes. Things are going to change around
here, you know. A new order has begun
311
00:22:56,920 --> 00:23:01,755
and the first thing you will all do
is listen to your new headmaster!
312
00:23:03,320 --> 00:23:04,719
Out with it, then.
313
00:23:04,840 --> 00:23:06,273
Out with what, mule?
314
00:23:06,400 --> 00:23:07,913
The Earl, tosspot!
315
00:23:08,040 --> 00:23:10,793
Oh, the Earl? He's gone missing!
What do we do? Calm!
316
00:23:10,920 --> 00:23:15,198
We stay calm, gentlemen. Your headmaster
is here. Authority at last.
317
00:23:15,320 --> 00:23:16,753
What...? Search!
318
00:23:16,880 --> 00:23:21,192
Search for him, that's what we do. Search
parties! Yes! Never fear, gentlemen.
319
00:23:21,320 --> 00:23:25,393
The young Earl shall be found
and I, bellgrove, shall find him!
320
00:24:02,440 --> 00:24:05,796
Titus!
She will be your little sister...
321
00:24:07,400 --> 00:24:09,789
And you will love her.
322
00:24:20,320 --> 00:24:21,878
Wait! Come back!
323
00:24:24,480 --> 00:24:29,031
Wait! I think I know you.
I won't hurt you. Wait!
324
00:24:33,920 --> 00:24:36,718
Come on, come on!
325
00:24:39,360 --> 00:24:40,679
Uh...
326
00:24:42,360 --> 00:24:44,715
Well? Where is he?
327
00:24:44,840 --> 00:24:47,736
Mr secretary, I would have you know that
I have risen somewhat in my profession
328
00:24:47,760 --> 00:24:50,069
and I am now, as you might say,
at the zenith of it.
329
00:24:50,200 --> 00:24:52,616
And as head of our proud school, I would
be grateful if you did not address me
330
00:24:52,640 --> 00:24:55,473
- in such disrespectful tones.
- Shut up!
331
00:24:55,600 --> 00:24:57,556
You useless, elongated fart!
332
00:24:59,200 --> 00:25:01,839
I'm damned if I'll see
the tradition of 1,000 years
333
00:25:01,960 --> 00:25:04,076
- ruined by some damned little...
- Little what?
334
00:25:04,200 --> 00:25:07,112
Earl, madam, little Earl.
335
00:25:12,000 --> 00:25:14,355
- Where is he?
- No sign, mr secretary, I'm afraid.
336
00:25:14,480 --> 00:25:16,755
Oh! Gah!
337
00:25:16,880 --> 00:25:20,270
We'll do it without him!
Take a boy, any boy.
338
00:25:20,400 --> 00:25:22,356
Put the ribbon in his hair.
Stand him down there
339
00:25:22,480 --> 00:25:28,077
and when I say so, tell him
to give the laureate his idiot poem.
340
00:25:28,200 --> 00:25:31,351
Well, do it! Sit there like
some turd-struck grub! Do it!
341
00:25:31,480 --> 00:25:32,993
Doggit, doggit, get up, boy.
342
00:25:33,120 --> 00:25:34,736
- Who, sir? Me, sir?
- You. Yes, yes. Come on.
343
00:25:34,760 --> 00:25:37,672
Hold this. Stand still. Come on.
344
00:25:37,800 --> 00:25:40,519
- Find him, piddle-brain.
- Quick. Stand still, stand still.
345
00:25:40,640 --> 00:25:45,077
Earl or no Earl, I'll teach him
to flout the traditions of this place!
346
00:25:45,200 --> 00:25:46,976
There we are. Now, look lively.
347
00:25:47,000 --> 00:25:49,560
Over there. Go, go, go.
Take it up the steps, boy.
348
00:25:49,680 --> 00:25:52,672
Oh, don't show off, doggit!
Come on, you ass of a child.
349
00:25:52,800 --> 00:25:55,030
Up the steps! Up the steps, boy.
350
00:25:55,160 --> 00:25:56,752
Hurry! Come on.
351
00:25:58,600 --> 00:26:02,639
No! My odes! My work!
Ten years, ten years!
352
00:26:02,760 --> 00:26:06,230
Ten years of crap, no doubt!
Leave it! Leave it!
353
00:26:06,360 --> 00:26:11,992
Damn doggerel! Damn his lordship!
Damn him! Damn!
354
00:26:12,120 --> 00:26:14,475
Damn! Where is he?
355
00:26:14,600 --> 00:26:17,990
Where in hell is he?!
356
00:26:19,240 --> 00:26:21,071
I'm lost.
357
00:26:27,800 --> 00:26:29,518
Where are you?
358
00:26:47,480 --> 00:26:49,471
Who are you?
359
00:26:52,240 --> 00:26:53,389
Flay.
360
00:26:53,520 --> 00:26:55,795
I've heard of you, mr flay.
361
00:26:56,960 --> 00:26:58,837
You were my father's servant.
362
00:27:02,560 --> 00:27:04,676
Where is this?
363
00:27:04,800 --> 00:27:06,836
It's my home, lordship.
364
00:27:08,360 --> 00:27:10,351
Are you ill?
365
00:27:10,480 --> 00:27:11,754
Not ill, boy.
366
00:27:12,920 --> 00:27:14,273
Banished.
367
00:27:14,400 --> 00:27:17,676
Banished? Why?
368
00:27:21,080 --> 00:27:23,116
Knew you right away, lordship.
369
00:27:24,440 --> 00:27:26,158
The eyes.
370
00:27:27,320 --> 00:27:29,117
Eat rabbit?
371
00:27:29,240 --> 00:27:30,719
I snare, see?
372
00:27:32,160 --> 00:27:34,196
New life.
373
00:27:34,320 --> 00:27:35,958
Look after flay.
374
00:27:37,080 --> 00:27:38,752
That's it.
375
00:27:40,840 --> 00:27:43,308
Duty gone.
376
00:27:44,640 --> 00:27:46,437
I'm very sorry, mr flay.
377
00:27:48,200 --> 00:27:51,590
Mr flay, I saw something
in a forest of trees made of stone.
378
00:27:51,720 --> 00:27:52,948
She was on a branch.
379
00:27:53,080 --> 00:27:57,232
- She? Small thing? Fast?
- She moved like lightning, mr flay.
380
00:27:57,360 --> 00:28:00,955
- Don't go near her.
- Why, mr flay?
381
00:28:01,080 --> 00:28:03,594
She seemed to me
to be very free and easy.
382
00:28:03,720 --> 00:28:05,631
Leave her! Free?
383
00:28:05,760 --> 00:28:08,274
Duty, lordship,
384
00:28:08,400 --> 00:28:11,870
ancient duty! All there is.
385
00:28:13,120 --> 00:28:15,839
- Your father said.
- I never saw my father.
386
00:28:15,960 --> 00:28:18,838
You did, boy. You saw him.
387
00:28:20,200 --> 00:28:21,952
And what was he like?
388
00:28:22,080 --> 00:28:25,152
Earl of gormenghast.
389
00:28:25,280 --> 00:28:26,793
Did he love me?
390
00:28:30,800 --> 00:28:33,598
Why would he say, "leave the girl alone,"
mr flay?
391
00:28:33,720 --> 00:28:36,439
Not girl, wild thing!
392
00:28:36,560 --> 00:28:37,993
Comes from carvers.
393
00:28:38,120 --> 00:28:39,678
Steals from own.
394
00:28:39,800 --> 00:28:42,268
Not of the stones.
395
00:28:44,040 --> 00:28:46,713
Bad, lordship, bad.
396
00:28:48,240 --> 00:28:50,310
Sleep.
397
00:28:50,440 --> 00:28:52,112
Take you back.
398
00:28:54,120 --> 00:28:55,348
Eat.
399
00:29:09,400 --> 00:29:11,630
I like you very much, mr flay.
400
00:29:14,840 --> 00:29:19,118
This whelp has searched.
No sign, your ladyship.
401
00:29:19,240 --> 00:29:20,753
Then search again!
402
00:29:20,880 --> 00:29:23,235
And this time, you'll succeed,
barquentine,
403
00:29:23,360 --> 00:29:25,112
or I'll have your head on a spike!
404
00:29:25,240 --> 00:29:26,309
Yes, madam.
405
00:29:28,840 --> 00:29:31,229
He turned up in my room
ten minutes ago.
406
00:29:31,360 --> 00:29:32,713
Mr flay brought me back.
407
00:29:32,840 --> 00:29:34,717
Why was he banished, mother?
408
00:29:34,840 --> 00:29:36,068
I know no flay.
409
00:29:36,200 --> 00:29:38,316
- Mother?
- I know no flay!
410
00:29:40,640 --> 00:29:42,232
What do you do with him, mr secretary?
411
00:29:42,360 --> 00:29:46,194
What can be done?
He's gone. A faithful servant.
412
00:29:46,320 --> 00:29:47,639
We don't have many.
413
00:29:47,760 --> 00:29:50,957
The boy! What do you do with his lordship?
414
00:29:51,080 --> 00:29:52,718
He ran!
415
00:29:52,840 --> 00:29:54,353
What's his punishment?
416
00:29:55,800 --> 00:29:59,793
In you go, young sir.
You brought it on your own head, remember.
417
00:30:01,560 --> 00:30:03,471
Use the time to think.
418
00:30:07,440 --> 00:30:09,032
Banished!
419
00:30:21,320 --> 00:30:24,551
Fuchsia:
Six for searching, seven for heaven,
420
00:30:24,680 --> 00:30:26,830
eight for aching...
421
00:30:26,960 --> 00:30:29,110
Huh? Ah!
422
00:30:34,960 --> 00:30:36,791
Nine for nothing,
423
00:30:36,920 --> 00:30:38,353
ten for less.
424
00:30:38,480 --> 00:30:40,152
Lady fuchsia.
425
00:30:40,280 --> 00:30:43,238
- May I join you?
- What do you want?
426
00:30:43,360 --> 00:30:47,797
Just to walk with you.
If it would please you. Nothing else.
427
00:30:47,920 --> 00:30:50,388
The wood is free.
I can't stop you, can I?
428
00:30:51,760 --> 00:30:53,512
You can walk behind me, if you like.
429
00:30:58,920 --> 00:31:00,797
Nothing is free, lady fuchsia.
430
00:31:02,200 --> 00:31:04,270
You said, "the wood is free."
431
00:31:04,400 --> 00:31:07,790
I don't believe anything is free...
Except dreams.
432
00:31:07,920 --> 00:31:10,798
- What do you know of dreams?
- We all dream.
433
00:31:10,920 --> 00:31:14,674
I dream of equality, as a matter of fact.
434
00:31:14,800 --> 00:31:20,318
I believe there should be
no poor, no rich, no strong or weak.
435
00:31:20,440 --> 00:31:25,719
Equality is everything,
don't you think, lady fuchsia?
436
00:31:28,520 --> 00:31:30,556
I wouldn't know anything about it.
437
00:31:36,680 --> 00:31:38,477
Don't you think it's wrong
438
00:31:38,600 --> 00:31:42,912
if some people starve and other people
have so much they waste it?
439
00:31:43,040 --> 00:31:46,794
Don't you think the brave
and the skilful should be rewarded?
440
00:31:46,920 --> 00:31:49,798
Don't you think
talent is as important as wealth?
441
00:31:49,920 --> 00:31:51,592
It's raining!
442
00:31:52,920 --> 00:31:55,912
Don't you think cruelty and greed
should be stopped for good?
443
00:31:57,800 --> 00:31:59,074
I'm getting wet.
444
00:32:04,040 --> 00:32:06,793
No! I'm getting soaked!
445
00:32:09,840 --> 00:32:12,354
No, lady fuchsia! Not that way!
446
00:32:15,880 --> 00:32:17,552
Lady fuchsia!
447
00:32:19,640 --> 00:32:21,551
Lady fuchsia!
448
00:32:39,160 --> 00:32:41,958
- Where does it hurt?
- I'm all right.
449
00:32:42,080 --> 00:32:44,799
Don't be a hero. I know you're brave.
450
00:32:44,920 --> 00:32:47,070
I want to know exactly where it hurts.
451
00:32:50,200 --> 00:32:51,952
It's my leg.
452
00:32:52,080 --> 00:32:53,752
I'm cold.
453
00:32:56,920 --> 00:32:59,559
Gently, gently. Come on. Come on.
454
00:33:00,840 --> 00:33:03,195
Head wound, doctor. Leg might be broken!
455
00:33:03,320 --> 00:33:06,153
Show me quickly, dear boy. Fetch men
and a stretcher. I'll get my bag.
456
00:33:06,280 --> 00:33:08,555
Stay still! Don't move.
457
00:33:09,600 --> 00:33:10,874
Perfect.
458
00:33:12,120 --> 00:33:13,792
You are magnificent!
459
00:33:13,920 --> 00:33:17,390
I thank you, madam. At your service.
460
00:33:18,720 --> 00:33:20,551
At my service!
461
00:33:22,800 --> 00:33:24,472
Ah!
462
00:33:24,600 --> 00:33:27,319
Oh, do try not to jolt her!
Steady. Steady there!
463
00:33:27,440 --> 00:33:29,158
This is no ordinary cargo!
464
00:33:29,280 --> 00:33:31,999
Oh, my precious! My precious. Oh!
465
00:33:32,120 --> 00:33:33,348
Not you!
466
00:33:33,480 --> 00:33:34,959
Kitchen boy!
467
00:33:47,160 --> 00:33:48,513
Life is amusing.
468
00:33:48,640 --> 00:33:49,914
Isn't it?!
469
00:33:54,040 --> 00:33:56,600
Not a bone in the least broken.
470
00:33:56,720 --> 00:33:59,154
Anatomically quite sound, your ladyship.
471
00:33:59,280 --> 00:34:00,599
Where's steerpike?
472
00:34:00,720 --> 00:34:02,790
You don't want to see
that horrid thing, do you?
473
00:34:02,920 --> 00:34:05,673
No! No, not at all.
474
00:34:13,960 --> 00:34:16,520
I hate them! I hate them!
475
00:34:16,640 --> 00:34:18,312
Who, my agitato sister?
476
00:34:18,440 --> 00:34:21,955
Oh, why do you never listen to me?!
477
00:34:22,080 --> 00:34:23,479
Flesh of my flesh,
478
00:34:23,600 --> 00:34:26,637
to cut me would be to carve
at the very marrow of yourself!
479
00:34:26,760 --> 00:34:28,840
Wouldn't the flap of an envelope
be more appropriate?
480
00:34:28,960 --> 00:34:30,837
Why should I be punished like this?
481
00:34:30,960 --> 00:34:33,474
Am I without charm, or grace,
or intellect?
482
00:34:33,600 --> 00:34:36,353
Bulging bag of all three,
my talented tyro.
483
00:34:36,480 --> 00:34:38,835
So why do I never have any advances
paid to me?
484
00:34:38,960 --> 00:34:40,439
Are you speaking financially?
485
00:34:40,560 --> 00:34:43,438
No, Alfred, I am not,
and well you know it!
486
00:34:43,560 --> 00:34:46,438
I mean, what's wrong with your sex?
Can't they see
487
00:34:46,560 --> 00:34:48,676
my neck, my hair?
488
00:34:48,800 --> 00:34:50,597
I move well, don't I?
489
00:34:50,720 --> 00:34:52,119
Can't they see my carriage?
490
00:34:52,240 --> 00:34:55,232
You're too powerful, sweet white of egg.
That is the unpalatable truth.
491
00:34:55,360 --> 00:34:59,558
I'm sorry to say, but that carriage,
as you put it, supercharged as it is,
492
00:34:59,680 --> 00:35:01,591
terrifies them, my spasmic one.
493
00:35:01,720 --> 00:35:02,720
I hate them!
494
00:35:02,840 --> 00:35:03,840
Men!
495
00:35:03,960 --> 00:35:09,637
Blind, stupid, clumsy, horrible,
vulgar, heavy things!
496
00:35:09,760 --> 00:35:12,638
And you are one of them! Argh!
497
00:35:12,760 --> 00:35:13,760
Irma, dear!
498
00:35:16,560 --> 00:35:19,279
Bodily functions are nothing
to be ashamed of, dear wind.
499
00:35:19,400 --> 00:35:23,518
A party, Alfred, a party. I, Irma
prunesquallor, this Irma, this very Irma.
500
00:35:23,640 --> 00:35:25,392
Oh, can we, Alfred, can we have one?
501
00:35:25,520 --> 00:35:27,750
A party, my dear?
Are you the type to give a party?
502
00:35:27,880 --> 00:35:29,216
Indeed, are you the type to go to one?
503
00:35:29,240 --> 00:35:31,435
- Oh, but I see you are determined.
- Unutterably.
504
00:35:31,560 --> 00:35:34,358
- May I have the knife?
- You're going to be the host.
505
00:35:34,480 --> 00:35:36,789
Have I told you,
I am thinking of getting married?
506
00:35:36,920 --> 00:35:38,360
- To one of those you hate?
- Alfred!
507
00:35:38,400 --> 00:35:41,073
We'll find just the man for you,
my avenging angel.
508
00:35:41,200 --> 00:35:43,520
Now, have you thought who to invite,
what they are to wear?
509
00:35:43,640 --> 00:35:45,358
Oh, that's simple. Evening dress.
510
00:35:45,480 --> 00:35:47,914
Such things can be cruel, my fashionato.
511
00:35:48,040 --> 00:35:50,474
Few ladies have such resplendent gowns
as you.
512
00:35:50,600 --> 00:35:53,273
Oh, who cares? There won't be any women.
513
00:35:53,400 --> 00:35:54,515
No ladies?
514
00:35:54,640 --> 00:35:57,598
I must be alone, Alfred,
with them - the male.
515
00:35:57,720 --> 00:36:00,518
I see. And have you considered
who they might be, these rams,
516
00:36:00,640 --> 00:36:02,870
these Tom cats, these bulls,
oh, thicker than water?
517
00:36:03,000 --> 00:36:04,479
I have in mind a gathering of 40.
518
00:36:04,600 --> 00:36:07,672
- 40 men?
- It is my last chance, Alfred!
519
00:36:07,800 --> 00:36:10,473
Listen to me, Irma dear.
Listen to an affectionate brother.
520
00:36:10,600 --> 00:36:12,318
You see, in a smaller party
521
00:36:12,440 --> 00:36:15,796
you will find more time to size up
the qualities of those present.
522
00:36:15,920 --> 00:36:17,319
- 307?
- A dozen?
523
00:36:17,440 --> 00:36:18,560
20, Alfred, and don't argue!
524
00:36:18,600 --> 00:36:20,989
I'm merely trying to put myself
in your place, Irma, dear.
525
00:36:21,120 --> 00:36:22,633
It takes an effort!
526
00:36:22,760 --> 00:36:24,113
I can't do it.
527
00:36:24,240 --> 00:36:26,800
Se ee a a a se aan
528
00:36:26,920 --> 00:36:28,148
ah...!
529
00:36:28,280 --> 00:36:30,191
The professors!
530
00:36:30,320 --> 00:36:33,517
It's so obvious!
531
00:36:33,640 --> 00:36:37,997
Why didn't I think of it before?
And it shall be called... a soiree.
532
00:36:38,120 --> 00:36:40,953
Rams, soirees, professors?
533
00:36:41,080 --> 00:36:43,150
Are not these terms mutually exclusive?
534
00:36:43,280 --> 00:36:45,589
I shall issue invitations
in blue and gold.
535
00:36:45,720 --> 00:36:48,234
We shall soiree in ten days, Alfred!
536
00:36:48,360 --> 00:36:50,874
- Oh, lord!
- In ten days' time,
537
00:36:51,000 --> 00:36:53,833
a man of learning will be mine to keep!
538
00:36:53,960 --> 00:36:58,317
I shall understand him, administer
to him and keep him clean!
539
00:36:58,440 --> 00:36:59,555
Irma!
540
00:36:59,680 --> 00:37:01,477
My dear... do you not think...?
541
00:37:01,600 --> 00:37:03,397
No, Alfred, I do not think!
542
00:37:03,520 --> 00:37:05,636
Thought is for mortals!
543
00:37:05,760 --> 00:37:08,911
I am a woman!
544
00:37:09,040 --> 00:37:14,239
An invitation? From miss prunesquallor?
She has invited us!
545
00:37:15,720 --> 00:37:16,789
Shut up, fluke!
546
00:37:16,920 --> 00:37:19,559
This is a damned crisis! Nothing less.
547
00:37:19,680 --> 00:37:23,434
Crisis? Stupid bastard!
How long is it since you've seen a woman?
548
00:37:23,560 --> 00:37:27,872
And how long is it since you have,
or have not, professor mule?
549
00:37:28,000 --> 00:37:29,718
She wants a husband!
550
00:37:29,840 --> 00:37:33,230
Long-necked Irma wants a husband!
551
00:37:35,400 --> 00:37:39,439
No, no, no, gentlemen, please! Please.
I will not have a lady's name...
552
00:37:39,560 --> 00:37:43,838
Oh, bloody bugger! It's him!
She wants him!
553
00:37:43,960 --> 00:37:47,236
Oh, no! Oh, yes! Ha-ha!
554
00:37:47,360 --> 00:37:49,635
Gentlemen, please! Stop it at once!
555
00:37:49,760 --> 00:37:53,036
Nonsense! I... I...
It's no way to talk of a lady...
556
00:37:53,160 --> 00:37:54,593
Or of a headmaster!
557
00:37:54,720 --> 00:37:58,315
Him! The very him! The very head!
558
00:37:59,680 --> 00:38:02,638
No. No, no, no, no! Stop! No, me?
559
00:38:02,760 --> 00:38:04,478
I think it is you, bellgrove.
560
00:38:04,600 --> 00:38:06,238
- No! No!
- Face up to it, man.
561
00:38:06,360 --> 00:38:07,952
Oh, shush! Nonsense!
562
00:38:08,080 --> 00:38:10,640
She doesn't want me! No... does she?
563
00:38:18,800 --> 00:38:20,199
Perfect!
564
00:38:31,920 --> 00:38:36,198
Only three days to go, Alfred!
565
00:38:36,320 --> 00:38:40,199
Tempus fugit, my seismic one.
Tempus fugit.
566
00:38:50,600 --> 00:38:52,556
Titus. Titus?
567
00:38:52,680 --> 00:38:53,829
Fuchsia?
568
00:38:55,720 --> 00:38:58,029
Here. I've brought you some sweets.
569
00:39:01,600 --> 00:39:04,797
- I miss you, Titus.
- And I miss you.
570
00:39:04,920 --> 00:39:06,560
Dr pru's having
some kind of horrid party!
571
00:39:06,680 --> 00:39:08,955
- A party?
- All your professors are going.
572
00:39:09,080 --> 00:39:11,992
- Yuck!
- I hate them!
573
00:39:12,120 --> 00:39:14,953
Mother, barquentine, I hate all of them!
574
00:39:15,080 --> 00:39:18,436
I hate them for locking you up
and I hate them for ignoring me.
575
00:39:21,920 --> 00:39:24,718
Titus, I spat out of my window today!
576
00:39:24,840 --> 00:39:26,956
I spat on the stones!
577
00:39:27,080 --> 00:39:28,638
I hate them all that much!
578
00:39:31,160 --> 00:39:33,390
Titus, can you hear me?
579
00:39:33,520 --> 00:39:34,669
Yes.
580
00:39:36,960 --> 00:39:39,349
And I spit on the stones too!
581
00:39:40,680 --> 00:39:42,159
Can you feel my fingers?
582
00:39:47,000 --> 00:39:49,150
Titus, you're my brother and I love you.
583
00:39:49,280 --> 00:39:52,078
You're my sister, and I love you.
584
00:39:54,320 --> 00:39:56,788
Bye, Titus. Remember what we said.
585
00:39:56,920 --> 00:39:58,319
Fuchsia?
586
00:39:58,440 --> 00:40:01,273
Fuchsia! I hate them too!
587
00:40:01,400 --> 00:40:04,712
All of them!
588
00:40:04,840 --> 00:40:08,389
Well, tonight's the night.
589
00:40:08,520 --> 00:40:14,072
Wiili or won't I, Irma prunesquallor?
590
00:40:14,200 --> 00:40:16,191
Statement made in the staffroom.
591
00:40:16,320 --> 00:40:17,548
She is passionate about me.
592
00:40:19,000 --> 00:40:22,231
Consider. One, it's poppycock!
593
00:40:22,360 --> 00:40:25,113
Two, my damned staff
are damned interferers.
594
00:40:25,240 --> 00:40:26,753
Call themselves teachers!
595
00:40:26,880 --> 00:40:28,996
They lie to add zest to the party.
596
00:40:29,120 --> 00:40:33,079
Three, I haven't questioned their lie, so
they don't know that I've seen through it!
597
00:40:33,200 --> 00:40:36,272
Four... so far, so good.
598
00:40:36,400 --> 00:40:39,756
Five, how do I turn the tables
against these spoilers
599
00:40:39,880 --> 00:40:43,589
of all that is young and wonderful
and, let's face it, lamb-like?
600
00:40:43,720 --> 00:40:48,396
Six, what's wrong
with Irma prunesquallor anyway?
601
00:40:48,520 --> 00:40:51,080
Noses must be some shape or other,
602
00:40:51,200 --> 00:40:55,113
or, as that damned idiot shred would say,
they wouldn't exist at all!
603
00:40:55,240 --> 00:40:58,755
Seven, no bosoms to speak of.
604
00:40:58,880 --> 00:41:02,589
True, but then what are bosoms
weighed against...?
605
00:41:02,720 --> 00:41:04,756
Mm... quite.
606
00:41:04,880 --> 00:41:06,313
Eight...
607
00:41:06,440 --> 00:41:08,476
I am lonely.
608
00:41:08,600 --> 00:41:13,071
Oh, bellgrove, such scouring,
not to say moving, honesty!
609
00:41:13,200 --> 00:41:14,918
Nine...
610
00:41:16,040 --> 00:41:18,508
What a catch I am for any woman!
611
00:41:18,640 --> 00:41:20,471
Ten...
612
00:41:20,600 --> 00:41:22,875
Oh, god! Please, make her mine!
613
00:41:27,320 --> 00:41:28,469
Mollocks!
614
00:41:32,080 --> 00:41:34,514
- Mollocks!
- Beside you, madam.
615
00:41:34,640 --> 00:41:37,473
Well, why don't you make a sound?
Can't you see, I wear no spectacles?
616
00:41:37,600 --> 00:41:41,513
No, don't go, mollocks.
Just dust, dust and dust again!
617
00:41:41,640 --> 00:41:45,269
I tell you what, sister, if you ain't
a work of art, I don't know what is!
618
00:41:45,400 --> 00:41:47,550
Alfred, how do I seem to you?
619
00:41:47,680 --> 00:41:50,558
I'm over here, my dear.
Turn round, turn round.
620
00:41:50,680 --> 00:41:51,874
- Oh.
- Oh!
621
00:41:52,000 --> 00:41:54,275
Oh, to think the same blood
batters our veins!
622
00:41:54,400 --> 00:41:56,256
What do you mean? I thought
you were praising me.
623
00:41:56,280 --> 00:41:57,480
And so I was, but tell me now,
624
00:41:57,520 --> 00:42:00,318
what is it that's somehow different,
my pneumatic one?
625
00:42:00,440 --> 00:42:01,793
Oh, you've gained a bosom!
626
00:42:01,920 --> 00:42:04,718
Alfred, you've always said
that busts are what you make of them.
627
00:42:04,840 --> 00:42:06,239
- My dear?
- Well, I've made one...
628
00:42:06,360 --> 00:42:09,432
From a hot-water bottle.
A very expensive one.
629
00:42:09,560 --> 00:42:13,155
Don't you think it gives me
pride of bearing?
630
00:42:13,280 --> 00:42:15,077
Just tell me. Tell me, exactly.
631
00:42:15,200 --> 00:42:17,077
Mollocks!
632
00:42:17,200 --> 00:42:18,553
Be a dear, go and talk to cook.
633
00:42:23,600 --> 00:42:25,875
Ahem... dear sister...
634
00:42:26,000 --> 00:42:27,956
No, Alfred, I won't listen!
635
00:42:28,080 --> 00:42:30,753
Wait, there's something else! Wait!
636
00:42:31,960 --> 00:42:35,111
Well, Alfred?
637
00:42:36,160 --> 00:42:37,673
What flair you have, Irma!
638
00:42:37,800 --> 00:42:39,711
Don't spare me.
639
00:42:39,840 --> 00:42:41,353
Oh!
640
00:42:41,480 --> 00:42:43,277
My only thought, my arabic one,
641
00:42:43,400 --> 00:42:44,992
is that having so precisely positioned
642
00:42:45,120 --> 00:42:47,680
such a pair of watery protuberances,
as it were,
643
00:42:47,800 --> 00:42:50,176
is it not spitting in the face
of the divine to conceal them?
644
00:42:50,200 --> 00:42:52,873
You're going to ruin it, Alfred!
I knew you were!
645
00:42:53,000 --> 00:42:55,912
The vivacity of the visage,
sweet nicotine,
646
00:42:56,040 --> 00:43:02,593
and the twin peaks of paradise are,
shall we say, hidden beneath net, dearest.
647
00:43:02,720 --> 00:43:04,995
Paradise? Hidden?
648
00:43:05,120 --> 00:43:06,314
Never!
649
00:43:06,440 --> 00:43:09,910
Itis I Irma!
650
00:43:10,040 --> 00:43:12,031
Oh, let them come!
651
00:43:12,160 --> 00:43:15,072
My men from the mountains!
652
00:43:15,200 --> 00:43:18,112
Come along, gentlemen.
Shoelaces, mule, shoelaces!
653
00:43:18,240 --> 00:43:21,437
Step lively, like lambs to the slaughter!
654
00:43:21,560 --> 00:43:23,391
Don't dawdle, mule. Come on!
655
00:43:25,000 --> 00:43:27,912
Stop bickering. The bickering
isn't necessary. Come along.
656
00:43:30,160 --> 00:43:32,071
This way. Follow me.
657
00:43:33,920 --> 00:43:35,319
Gentlemen.
658
00:43:49,560 --> 00:43:50,879
Poor old nannie.
659
00:43:52,400 --> 00:43:55,756
You're the easiest,
so you can go first.
660
00:43:59,200 --> 00:44:01,395
All in the cause of science,
you understand.
661
00:44:12,560 --> 00:44:13,959
Goodnight, nannie.
662
00:44:15,280 --> 00:44:16,599
Sleep tight.
663
00:44:20,000 --> 00:44:23,310
Professor mule!
664
00:44:23,440 --> 00:44:25,749
- Professor mule.
- Chop chop!
665
00:44:28,200 --> 00:44:29,997
Professor mule.
666
00:44:30,120 --> 00:44:32,190
Evening!
667
00:44:33,720 --> 00:44:35,676
Bastard!
668
00:44:38,080 --> 00:44:39,911
Bugger!
669
00:44:41,680 --> 00:44:43,910
Pardon us. Hm!
670
00:44:44,040 --> 00:44:46,759
Yes, professor, female of the species.
671
00:44:46,880 --> 00:44:47,915
Hmm!
672
00:44:48,040 --> 00:44:51,430
Strange... but true!
673
00:44:51,560 --> 00:44:54,074
Care for a canapé?
674
00:44:54,200 --> 00:44:55,394
Now...
675
00:44:57,560 --> 00:44:59,278
The last of them!
676
00:44:59,400 --> 00:45:00,992
Just a minute!
677
00:45:01,120 --> 00:45:03,031
Professor bellgrove.
678
00:45:03,160 --> 00:45:04,673
Headmaster!
679
00:45:09,280 --> 00:45:11,669
- Arse!
- Eve!
680
00:45:11,800 --> 00:45:13,995
- Head.
- Madam.
681
00:45:14,120 --> 00:45:15,189
Master.
682
00:45:20,680 --> 00:45:23,114
Bugger!
683
00:45:23,240 --> 00:45:26,312
Ah! Bugger!
684
00:45:26,440 --> 00:45:28,590
No way to behave
in front of a woman!
685
00:45:28,720 --> 00:45:33,111
Oh, bloody bugger bastard!
686
00:45:33,240 --> 00:45:37,392
Quick, gentlemen! Pass that armchair!
Help me get him into it.
687
00:45:37,520 --> 00:45:39,954
One, two, heave!
688
00:45:43,040 --> 00:45:45,508
One more effort, gentlemen!
689
00:45:45,640 --> 00:45:47,596
Right, stand back, give him air.
690
00:45:47,720 --> 00:45:51,918
Forgive him, madam. He is extended
before you as a sign of weakness.
691
00:45:52,040 --> 00:45:55,874
We are all mere men.
Is this not how we all feel?
692
00:45:56,000 --> 00:45:57,000
Oh!
693
00:45:57,040 --> 00:45:58,080
Perch, fluke, throttlebum,
694
00:45:58,120 --> 00:46:00,336
convey the professor to his quarters,
where he may recover.
695
00:46:00,360 --> 00:46:03,830
Oh! No, headmaster!
I-I understand utterly.
696
00:46:03,960 --> 00:46:06,952
He has honoured me!
Alfred! Do something.
697
00:46:07,080 --> 00:46:10,516
- What?
- He shall not be removed from this room.
698
00:46:10,640 --> 00:46:12,870
It's a full-blown spasm, dearest!
699
00:46:13,000 --> 00:46:14,831
Spasm or no spasm, he shall remain!
700
00:46:14,960 --> 00:46:18,748
Mollocks! Fetch my silver hammer.
701
00:46:18,880 --> 00:46:22,190
Oh, and scissors.
We'll need to snip his clothes off.
702
00:46:22,320 --> 00:46:24,117
Oh! This is no place for you.
703
00:46:24,240 --> 00:46:27,437
Headmaster, it is for you to speak
and me to listen.
704
00:46:27,560 --> 00:46:30,552
Take my arm, such as it is.
705
00:46:30,680 --> 00:46:33,558
I shall accompany you, professor.
706
00:46:33,680 --> 00:46:36,592
Excellent! Er... where?
707
00:46:36,720 --> 00:46:38,551
The garden?
708
00:46:38,680 --> 00:46:42,036
The garden!
It shall be our first promenade together.
709
00:46:42,160 --> 00:46:44,720
But I hardly know you, headmaster!
710
00:46:44,840 --> 00:46:47,718
Ar! Let's see.
711
00:46:49,920 --> 00:46:54,914
Hm. Er, lilac! C-c-can you not smell
the lilac, my dear madam?
712
00:46:55,040 --> 00:46:56,155
I have a cold.
713
00:46:56,280 --> 00:46:59,352
Ah, yes, women are
such sensitive creatures.
714
00:46:59,480 --> 00:47:01,755
And require light, headmaster.
715
00:47:01,880 --> 00:47:03,438
A light? Certainly.
716
00:47:03,560 --> 00:47:06,028
I'm afraid you... you cannot see me.
717
00:47:06,160 --> 00:47:07,957
I would have you sit on my right.
718
00:47:08,080 --> 00:47:13,154
Ah. Well, um, what you would have,
you shall be given!
719
00:47:13,280 --> 00:47:15,635
- Shall we rise together?
- Hm.
720
00:47:15,760 --> 00:47:17,671
Oh, blast!
721
00:47:17,800 --> 00:47:20,553
How could you use such a word
in front of a lady?
722
00:47:20,680 --> 00:47:22,193
Silence! Am I not your headmaster?!
723
00:47:22,320 --> 00:47:26,359
Oh, oh! Um, do forgive me! I... I...
Ahem!
724
00:47:35,240 --> 00:47:38,277
- Right, turn him over.
- Qver.
725
00:47:38,400 --> 00:47:40,277
I am so happy!
726
00:47:41,800 --> 00:47:43,916
I knew it!
727
00:47:44,040 --> 00:47:45,553
So did I.
728
00:47:49,680 --> 00:47:53,912
My dear, you are cold.
It's this damnable arbour!
729
00:47:54,040 --> 00:48:00,513
I will not have you use
strong language in our sacred place.
730
00:48:00,640 --> 00:48:04,315
Well, you... you must forgive
an old fool,
731
00:48:04,440 --> 00:48:08,115
but I was just trying
to damn this dark,
732
00:48:08,240 --> 00:48:14,634
which prevents me from seeing
the proud beauty of your face.
733
00:48:17,040 --> 00:48:18,473
Ah!
734
00:48:18,600 --> 00:48:20,272
There?
735
00:48:23,160 --> 00:48:25,196
Oh, head!
736
00:48:25,320 --> 00:48:26,469
Oh, Irma!
737
00:48:26,600 --> 00:48:28,636
Ha!
738
00:48:32,280 --> 00:48:33,429
My man!
739
00:48:40,320 --> 00:48:41,389
Shh!
740
00:48:41,520 --> 00:48:43,351
No!
741
00:48:46,320 --> 00:48:48,038
Oh, oh!
742
00:48:48,160 --> 00:48:50,276
Oh! Ohh!
743
00:48:50,400 --> 00:48:51,992
Oh, oh, oh!
744
00:48:53,440 --> 00:48:56,034
Nannie! Nannie!
745
00:48:58,240 --> 00:49:02,916
Oh, my weak heart. Oh! Oh, oh, oh...
746
00:49:03,040 --> 00:49:04,519
Nannie! Nannie!
747
00:49:04,640 --> 00:49:06,631
Help! Someone, help!
748
00:49:06,760 --> 00:49:08,876
Nannie, what's wrong?
749
00:49:09,000 --> 00:49:10,797
- Let me see!
- No! Not you!
750
00:49:10,920 --> 00:49:13,673
- You get the doctor!
- Yes, ladyship! At once!
751
00:49:13,800 --> 00:49:16,109
Nannie? Nannie?
752
00:49:18,240 --> 00:49:21,630
Something... wrong.
753
00:49:21,760 --> 00:49:23,159
All...
754
00:49:25,080 --> 00:49:26,559
Wrong.
755
00:49:30,160 --> 00:49:31,673
Nannie!
756
00:49:41,800 --> 00:49:44,951
See it as a gift
from the kitchen boy, nannie.
757
00:49:51,960 --> 00:49:55,270
Have her buried in the graveyard
for select retainers, squallor.
758
00:50:02,640 --> 00:50:05,837
I don't feel anything, mother.
Am I wicked?
759
00:50:05,960 --> 00:50:08,315
She was a good servant.
You'll miss her.
760
00:50:09,640 --> 00:50:12,757
- See to it, squallor.
- Ladyship.
761
00:50:15,280 --> 00:50:18,317
You are not wicked, my dear.
762
00:50:24,680 --> 00:50:28,798
When are they going to let Titus
out of the fort? It's not fair.
763
00:50:28,920 --> 00:50:30,512
He's just a little boy!
764
00:50:30,640 --> 00:50:34,155
He'll be out like a Jack-in-the-box,
in no time at all.
765
00:50:34,280 --> 00:50:36,396
He must!
766
00:50:36,520 --> 00:50:38,988
And I want to see my daddy!
767
00:50:40,880 --> 00:50:42,916
Shh! My dear.
768
00:50:45,720 --> 00:50:47,711
Where did he go, dr pru?
769
00:50:47,840 --> 00:50:51,435
He was a very sick man.
Who knows what happened to him?
770
00:50:52,760 --> 00:50:54,318
Mr flay is still alive!
771
00:50:54,440 --> 00:50:55,873
Mr flay?
772
00:50:56,000 --> 00:50:58,389
Titus has seen him!
773
00:50:58,520 --> 00:51:03,275
And he also saw something else -
a wild thing! A wild girl!
774
00:51:03,400 --> 00:51:06,870
And now he says he's in love with her!
775
00:51:07,000 --> 00:51:09,878
And now nannie!
776
00:51:10,000 --> 00:51:11,877
I'm sorry, nannie!
777
00:51:14,680 --> 00:51:16,557
I can't stand it!
778
00:51:20,920 --> 00:51:22,035
Ladyship.
779
00:51:33,520 --> 00:51:36,398
Now, learn, lordship.
780
00:51:36,520 --> 00:51:39,034
Learn the code. Learn the canon.
781
00:51:39,160 --> 00:51:41,071
Learn who you are.
782
00:51:41,200 --> 00:51:44,112
Learn gormenghast!
783
00:51:48,080 --> 00:51:50,275
It's my family, mr secretary.
784
00:51:50,400 --> 00:51:53,312
And I'll learn what I'll learn
in my own time.
785
00:52:41,320 --> 00:52:42,753
Starve, then.
786
00:52:57,040 --> 00:52:58,917
It's him. I hate him. Don't you?
787
00:53:08,280 --> 00:53:09,759
This way.
788
00:53:20,920 --> 00:53:24,037
- Titus, I'm frightened.
- I know what I'm doing.
789
00:53:24,160 --> 00:53:26,594
I want to show you something.
This way.
790
00:53:43,960 --> 00:53:47,430
It's her! The wild girl!
791
00:53:48,480 --> 00:53:50,835
She was there! I saw her!
792
00:53:50,960 --> 00:53:53,640
She must be able to get in and out
of the castle whenever she wants!
793
00:53:53,760 --> 00:53:56,877
I didn't come all this way
just to see her! Come down!
794
00:53:57,000 --> 00:54:02,028
You said we were going to go and see mr
flay to find out what happened to father!
795
00:54:02,160 --> 00:54:05,630
Fuchsia: This stupid wild girl!
Why are you so interested in her?
796
00:54:05,760 --> 00:54:09,275
You can't be like her in any way.
And if mother knew, what would s/he say?
797
00:54:09,400 --> 00:54:12,790
Titus: I don't care what s/he says!
She never talks to me, anyway!
798
00:54:12,920 --> 00:54:14,751
She's got her stupid birds,
hasn't she?
799
00:54:14,880 --> 00:54:18,475
Well, now I've got something better.
And that's what they don't like.
800
00:54:18,600 --> 00:54:20,556
They think they know everything!
801
00:54:20,680 --> 00:54:22,910
Well, now I know something
that they don't!
802
00:54:23,040 --> 00:54:26,237
And I'll tell you something else, fuchsia.
I want to be just like her!
803
00:54:26,360 --> 00:54:27,634
Oh!
804
00:54:27,760 --> 00:54:30,911
Gone again! He is in your charge!
805
00:54:31,040 --> 00:54:32,678
I'm not his keeper, ladyship.
806
00:54:32,800 --> 00:54:35,678
Barquentine, find the boy.
And his sister.
807
00:54:35,800 --> 00:54:37,950
Though you needn't waste too much time
on that.
808
00:54:38,080 --> 00:54:39,798
Go away!
809
00:54:39,920 --> 00:54:43,435
I'll have you pinned to the rock with
your eyes out, barquentine, believe me.
810
00:54:43,560 --> 00:54:48,236
Lordships come and lordships go,
ladyship.
811
00:54:48,360 --> 00:54:51,830
Gormenghast stays put!
812
00:54:53,640 --> 00:54:57,315
This wild thing? You think
that's what this is all about?
813
00:54:57,440 --> 00:54:59,590
It would appear to be, madam.
814
00:54:59,720 --> 00:55:01,560
It's the brat from his foster mother,
isn't it?
815
00:55:01,640 --> 00:55:05,918
I would hypothesise that, quite possibly,
given the history...
816
00:55:06,040 --> 00:55:08,759
Why can you not use one word
when one will do, squallor?
817
00:55:08,880 --> 00:55:09,995
Yes.
818
00:55:10,120 --> 00:55:12,634
This thing's stealing from the carvers?
Am I right?
819
00:55:12,760 --> 00:55:15,680
They say she steals only the best,
only the most beautiful, your ladyship.
820
00:55:15,760 --> 00:55:17,796
What's that got to do with it?
821
00:55:17,920 --> 00:55:19,911
- The carvers loathe her.
- Yes.
822
00:55:20,040 --> 00:55:22,349
And he ls the male heir, squallor.
823
00:55:22,480 --> 00:55:23,674
Yes.
824
00:55:23,800 --> 00:55:26,314
That infested rag barquentine is right.
825
00:55:26,440 --> 00:55:28,635
Gormenghast is all.
826
00:55:28,760 --> 00:55:29,829
The...
827
00:55:31,160 --> 00:55:35,517
I don't know what's worse,
you clammed up, or you in full flow!
828
00:55:35,640 --> 00:55:37,756
Go away. I prefer my birds.
829
00:55:37,880 --> 00:55:39,677
Madam.
830
00:55:42,000 --> 00:55:44,468
The owls? They killed my father?
831
00:55:44,600 --> 00:55:47,319
- In the tower of flints?
- What he wanted, ladyship.
832
00:55:47,440 --> 00:55:50,512
Cook-slug swelter, he went too.
Same time.
833
00:55:51,760 --> 00:55:53,398
Earl, noble man.
834
00:55:53,520 --> 00:55:55,511
Why didn't anybody tell me?
835
00:55:55,640 --> 00:55:58,234
Only I knew, ladyship. Lordship now.
836
00:55:58,360 --> 00:56:01,079
- Look to duty.
- Come back with us, mr flay.
837
00:56:01,200 --> 00:56:02,758
Can't.
838
00:56:02,880 --> 00:56:04,313
I could show you the tunnel.
839
00:56:04,440 --> 00:56:06,776
You could live in the east wing.
No-one would find you there.
840
00:56:06,800 --> 00:56:09,872
Banished. That's it.
841
00:56:10,000 --> 00:56:12,389
- Look out for steerpike.
- Why?
842
00:56:12,520 --> 00:56:15,193
Why always steerpike? It's not fair!
843
00:56:15,320 --> 00:56:20,348
People don't like him just because
he's more brilliant than them, that's all!
844
00:56:20,480 --> 00:56:22,516
At least he talks to me!
845
00:56:22,640 --> 00:56:26,189
And at least he's better
than this wild thing!
846
00:56:27,720 --> 00:56:29,915
Please, come back with us, mr flay.
847
00:56:30,040 --> 00:56:33,874
Be ready, lordship. Know tunnel.
Will watch.
848
00:56:34,000 --> 00:56:35,752
Come when you need me.
849
00:56:35,880 --> 00:56:37,916
Fuchsia! Fuchsia!
850
00:56:42,680 --> 00:56:46,832
Now you'll learn!
Because you'll stay there till you do!
851
00:56:53,640 --> 00:56:55,198
I'm so sorry, nannie.
852
00:56:55,320 --> 00:56:57,231
I don't know what to do.
853
00:57:01,600 --> 00:57:03,511
No-one loves me!
854
00:57:06,280 --> 00:57:08,350
What shall I do?
855
00:57:09,720 --> 00:57:11,676
I can't dream forever.
856
00:57:24,160 --> 00:57:25,354
Lady fuchsia?
857
00:57:26,960 --> 00:57:28,916
I had no idea you'd be here.
858
00:57:31,000 --> 00:57:33,195
I didn't know her well,
but I thought...
859
00:57:35,240 --> 00:57:38,312
I'm sure your flowers
will please her most.
860
00:57:38,440 --> 00:57:39,998
It's all stupid anyway!
861
00:57:42,160 --> 00:57:44,390
I didn't think
you were so sentimental!
862
00:57:45,760 --> 00:57:47,079
I have my moods too.
863
00:57:48,160 --> 00:57:49,513
How dare you?
864
00:57:52,440 --> 00:57:55,557
You please yourself. Why can't I?
865
00:57:55,680 --> 00:57:58,114
You! You! You...!
866
00:58:01,680 --> 00:58:05,036
- I understand.
- No, you don't!
867
00:58:05,160 --> 00:58:08,675
If I understand anything,
I understand anger!
868
00:58:08,800 --> 00:58:11,678
And that's because I understand
what it feels like to be rejected.
869
00:58:12,760 --> 00:58:14,876
And don't think I don't understand
loneliness too.
870
00:58:15,000 --> 00:58:17,150
I'm sorry!
871
00:58:28,120 --> 00:58:31,192
No, no! This is horrible!
872
00:58:31,320 --> 00:58:32,958
You're horrible!
873
00:58:35,440 --> 00:58:38,637
You leave me alone! Never come near me!
874
00:58:48,240 --> 00:58:49,673
I can wait.
875
00:58:53,560 --> 00:58:55,471
Stones.
876
00:58:55,600 --> 00:58:56,953
Stones...
877
00:58:58,040 --> 00:58:59,553
Stone.
878
00:58:59,680 --> 00:59:01,033
Rock.
879
00:59:02,720 --> 00:59:07,111
I hate... it... all!
63333
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