Original subtitles

[woman] 35-year-old taryn brumfitt is making waves

online for her series of post-baby body photos.

she learned to love her own body,

and now she's on a mission to help others do the same.

she's baring all to encourage women

to accept and appreciate their bodies.

taryn posted the pictures as part of her campaign

to tackle negative body images.

she says that after the birth of her third child

she became obsessed with getting back

to her pre-pregnancy body.

it was just this ordinary sunday

and i was hanging out with some girlfriends

and we were talking about our bodies.

and they were saying that they were struggling

with their changing body and their aging body.

and as i was driving home i was thinking,

what could i do to help them?

so later that night, i put a before and after photograph

on facebook.

well, traditional before and after photographs,

there's a woman before,

she's heavier than the after photograph,

and she's not very happy, and then she loses weight,

and then she's miraculously happy.

so my before, i swapped them.

i knew as soon as i posted it that it hit a note,

because all of the computers and the phones in the house

were going ping ping ping ping ping.

and my husband, matt, who was in the lounge room,

yells out, "what's going on?"

i'm like, "oh, nothing. nothing's happening."

yeah, the next minute taryn's going,

"it's going viral."

i'm like, "what do you mean it's going viral?"

so, yeah, i ran in the office and i saw the picture,

i'm like, "what have you done with that?"

and she's like, "oh, well, i put it on facebook

and now it's gone viral."

"what do you mean you put it on facebook?

and what do you mean it's gone viral?"

there was thousands of people liking it

and sharing it and commenting it.

i'm like, "you seriously, you put that--"

because essentially it was, i mean, taryn in stark.

essentially, like, tastefully stark,

but stark none the less.

[taryn] that before and after photograph went everywhere.

it was headline news in paris, in london,

it was in lebanon, it was in canada,

it was in the u.s., it was in korea.

it was everywhere. it broke people's brains

to think that a woman could love her body afterwards.

i mean, for me, living this really normal life

with my three kids, working as a photographer,

and then having a russian film crew

ruck up and spend two days with me? i mean, that's weird.

hi, i'm taryn brumfitt.

[translation in foreign language]

to the outside world, it appeared like i was

in a media whirlwind.

were you shocked at the reaction that you got

-when you posted that before and after? -i was.

but what no one saw was what was happening behind closed doors,

and that was me on my email

until two or three in the morning

just trying to read through the thousands of emails

that i received from women, and from men, too.

and their stories were--

gosh, their stories were quite heartbreaking.

"i have a four year old daughter and i've never swum with her,

because i don't want to wear a pair of bathers."

"i've not been intimate with my husband

for three years,

because i think i look disgusting.

he tells me he loves me,

but i just can't bring myself to be naked in front of him."

"i was sexually abused as a child

and never told anyone.

i've eaten as a way to numb the pain,

but now i'm just fat.

and no one knows my story

and everyone judges me as if i'm a lazy pig,

and i'm not.

i'm just trying to survive."

so many people ask me the question,

"how did you learn to love your body

and what did you do?"

and for me, i guess it wasn't always like that.

i didn't always love my body.

i grew up like most women, dieting, losing weight,

gaining weight, thinking,

"oh, i wish i didn't have that cellulite,"

or, "i wish i was smaller here,"

whatever it was, but it was always

a relatively healthy body image that i had.

but after i had my first child,

it all changed for me.

being pregnant was the best thing ever.

i loved growing a baby.

i loved everything about it.

[man] 20 to three?

-[woman] it's a boy. -[mathew] hello, baby.

there you go. there you are.

i remember showering just a few hours afterwards,

and the bump that i had grown to love for all that time,

i looked down, i was like, "what the-- has happened here?"

it was just this jelly belly mess.

yeah, well, at first when i saw it i thought,

"taryn, you've just given birth.

don't worry about it for now,

and it'll get better."

i expected it to get better,

but i remember when oliver was around six weeks old,

i thought, okay, it's time to get my body back.

yeah, i jumped on the court and played pretty hard,

and then there was this one intercept that i took,

where i felt something warm running down my legs.

it was like, "oh, my god."

and i'd wet myself.

it was devastating.

over the next three years, i had another two beautiful and healthy children,

but in terms of my body, things went from bad to worse.

i had nipples the size of dinner plates.

during intimate moments, my breasts would leak.

and then there was the time i pooed myself

in front of matt because my pelvic floor was shot.

i ended up hating my body.

i felt like my body was broken.

heading to the surgeon was a really obvious choice as a quick fix.

and we booked in the surgery,

and everything i'd been through,

the hating and the loathing of my body,

it was all going to be fixed.

it was so exciting.

and then i was watching mikaela playing

and i just had this moment of, "how am i going to have surgery?"

like, what-- what message will that send mikaela?

what will that do for her?

mikaela!

-hi! -cheese.

[taryn] cheese.

i wanted her to embrace and love her body just as it was.

and it actually broke my heart as a mother

to think that my choice to change my body

may set mikaela up to want to change her body, too.

and i look at her and i go, "you're perfect

no matter what you look like."

so i couldn't go ahead with the surgery.

i couldn't do it.

i wanted to make that choice for her,

but i was still left in a body that i hated.

from that moment i hit rock bottom.

i'm stuck in this hideous body for the rest of my life.

i had a friend who was a personal trainer,

and i said to her one day,

"i just can't get this thought out of my head.

what does it feel like to have the perfect body?

would it change me? would it make me happy?"

and she said, "why don't you train

and enter a body building competition?"

i was like, "are you kidding me?"

and then before i knew it, 5 a.m. i was at the gym every morning

training, training, training.

[grunts]

and i changed my whole diet and the way i lived.

there was a lot of personal sacrifice,

but there was a lot of sacrifice from matt

and the kids, too.

for 15 long weeks i watched what i ate

and i trained hard.

and, you know what? i made it.

[announcer] number five, taryn brumfitt.

[cheering]

so standing there on stage, i expected to feel

like i had arrived at the place

that i had worked all of my life to get to.

i had the perfect bikini body.

it's what so many women think about

and are driven to have.

and in that moment, all i could think was,

"to have what i've got right now

has taken too much sacrifice,

too much time, too much energy,

too much obsession, and it's just not worth it."

i remember being backstage

and listening to the conversations

that other women were having.

"i wish i had more of this. i wish i had less of that.

this bit's not great." it was shocking.

it was like, "gosh, you guys think this, too."

[announcer] muscle nutrition adelaide classic.

so i'm standing there in my moment to shine

in my perfect body, and i'm not happy.

and some of the women around me weren't happy either.

and it got me thinking, "how the heck is anyone else

gonna be happy with their body?"

this was a big revelation for me,

and a major turning point in my life.

so the next day i got up

and just started my life again,

but with the flick of the switch inside my head,

which was, "this body of mine, it's not an ornament.

it's a vehicle."

so i wanna fuel it well,

and i wanna move it and be healthy,

but i wanna do it on my terms.

so running up a hill and getting to the top

was great because of the endorphins

and how great it feels to be in nature

and not so much about how many calories have i burnt?

and food became just joyous again.

i love food and i love good food.

it was really freeing. it was really liberating.

in fact, it was the best time of my life

was after the competition,

just being, and moving, and being happy,

and being balanced.

by this stage, the before and after photo

had been seen by over a hundred million people.

the response was overwhelming,

and it became clear to me that this issue

was much bigger than i ever realized.

can you give me a couple of words to describe your body?

um...

not perfect.

wobbly.

stumpy.

very average.

short.

i don't like my thighs. i think my thighs are a bit big.

not nice to look at.

it's very-- i don't like this body,

like, now, really.

wish i could cut this off or something.

i hate it. i feel disgusting.

disgusting.

i feel disgusting.

[taryn] that was heartbreaking,

and such a familiar story.

although i know what worked for me,

and how i made peace with my body,

i don't have the answers for everyone.

not only have people who are struggling

reached out to me,

but some really unexpected and fascinating people have as well.

so i'm heading out into the world

on a nine-week journey to meet some of them.

be safe.

i feel compelled to try and understand

why so many people are hating their body,

and what we can do about it.

first stop, sydney.

i've come to see mia freedman.

she was the youngest editor of "cosmopolitan" magazine,

and has been tackling the issue of body image for years.

i was always obsessed with magazines.

i absolutely loved them, because in the '70s and the '80s,

that's the only kind of women's media there was,

and that was the only kind of place that you could read

about women's issues and see pictures of women--

outside of men's magazines, i guess.

i knew what it felt like to get to the end

of this magazine that i loved,

and feel like i wasn't enough.

i wasn't tall enough, i wasn't skinny enough,

i wasn't blond enough, i wasn't...

anything enough. i just wasn't enough.

and then when i became an editor myself,

i really wanted to make some changes.

so, the first thing i did was get rid of diets.

then i started using models of different shapes,

sizes, and skin colors.

the first thing i did was a lingerie fashion shoot

with a model who was about a size 16.

at that time women's magazines did maybe one token

big girl shoot per year,

and it would be, usually, some girl dressed in frumpy cardigans.

and i wanted-- i was the editor of "cosmo,"

i wanted to dress her in a "cosmo" way.

i wanted to make her look sexy

in the same way that the girl on the cover would be dressed,

in the same way that a size 8 girl would be dressed.

my fashion editor was horrified,

and then she kept coming to me and saying, "i can't get any clothes."

and i went, "what, they don't make clothes for size 16s?

i think that they do." and she said, "no, they do,

but clothing designers don't want their brand

associated with anyone larger than a size 8."

so i was so shocked by the hypocrisy of that,

that they were happy to take the money of women

of all sizes up to size 22 or even beyond,

but they didn't want anyone to know.

that was their dirty little secret.

so i just said, "well, find someone who will send us clothes."

and eventually she did it, and the photographer

didn't want his name on the shoot,

the makeup artist didn't want her name on the shoot.

it was a real battle, and it continued to be a real battle

throughout the next seven years

as i edited that magazine.

[taryn] so, mia, why was bringing body diversity

into your magazine so important?

you know, if you just look at women's magazines

in the last 30, 40, 50 years, you could be forgiven for thinking that

there's only one type of woman who exists in the world,

and she is six-foot tall, about 17 years old,

usually blonde, blue-eyed,

skin like plastic.

and, in fact, she's an alien,

because she's created on a computer.

and women consciously and subconsciously compare themselves.

and if you're always comparing yourself

to something that doesn't actually exist,

how can you possibly feel good when you look in the mirror

or when you look down at yourself?

and you have to be hot and skinny all the time.

when you're pregnant, you have to look hot.

you just are only allowed to have a bit of a bump.

the minute you give birth, you have to be a yummy mommy,

you have to be a cougar,

you have to be hot at every age at every stage.

and that's a shocking burden and a shocking indictment

of how our culture devalues women

by just how we look.

[taryn] we've become so used to seeing the one type of body.

it's everywhere. it's all around.

buses, billboards, magazine covers.

but as it turns out, even the girl in the magazine

doesn't look like the girl in the magazine.

it's no wonder so many women are dissatisfied

with their bodies.

maybe we've forgotten what the average body looks like.

[woman] it took me a long time to break into the modeling industry.

my size had a big thing to do with it,

because i was considered too big.

i was a size 10. i'm currently a size 12.

and agency after agency turned me down,

and i was told that i would be considered a plus size model.

what they call plus size models often get ridiculed

by designers and other straight size models

for being curvier.

and we're often looked at as second best

and used as a gimmick almost.

people outside the modeling industry

that see models like myself or bigger dress sizes

all labelled as plus size,

it sends a skewed body image perspective,

because then a young girl will look at that woman

that's the same size as her labeled as plus size,

and that's sending the message that she's not slim enough.

it's extremely damaging,

especially with the mannequins they use in stores

which are impossibly tiny.

very few women are naturally that size.

so for a woman walking into a store and seeing the clothing

on the mannequin looking beautiful,

and she's wanting to wear it,

and she goes and tries it on in the changing room

and it doesn't hang on her properly,

it doesn't flatter her figure,

it's very damaging. it's very upsetting.

it's frustrating.

you end up thinking you're the problem.

the woman trying the clothes on is not the problem,

it's the clothing and the designers.

i have seen so many women struggle with body image.

when you hate your body,

it eats away at every aspect of your life.

it eats away at your work, it eats away at your schooling,

it eats away at your family, your relationships.

that is a main thought so many girls have is,

"i hate my body, i hate my body,"

and they can't focus on anything.

i went through depression and anxiety

from hating my body.

i didn't leave my room,

i tortured myself by looking at girls in magazines.

i wanted to get an eating disorder.

i wanted to get anorexia.

i wanted to be skinny.

and in the modeling industry there's so much pressure,

even for the smaller sized girls

to stay within those tiny measurements.

and i've seen crazy things.

i've seen girls faint behind stage.

i've seen girls--

they eat cotton balls to fill up their stomachs.

-they-- -you've seen girls eat cotton balls?

cotton balls.

they put them in gatorade and eat them. yeah.

you've seen that with your own eyes?

yeah, they do it. they do it,

and they faint, as well, and they're angry.

and their main topic of conversation is food. they're so obsessed with it.

because when they start out modeling,

they're naturally very slim because they're 14-15, say.

and then they hit puberty and they start getting hips

and they start getting curves.

but their only option to stay within the modeling industry

is to get an eating disorder, because they're not naturally

going to stay that size they were when they started.

* this is how i do it, do it, do it, do it *

* this is how i do it and you wonder how *

* everybody tells me i'm so hot right now *

[taryn] when i see models like this on the catwalk

at australian fashion week, it really angers me,

because it's perpetuating the myth that a thin body

is the ideal.

and if models have to go to such extreme measures

to stay this size, is it any wonder

so many women are unhappy with their body?

[woman] i don't know, it's sort of

been going on and off since primary school.

i'd skip out on lunch some days

and purposely not bring anything,

see how long you can go without food.

you make it a day and think, "well, that's pretty awesome,

i'll go two days now."

and, i don't know, it sort of just--

in a way, it sort of empowers you and think,

"oh, i've accomplished something."

i think you just get a bit harder on yourself,

and, i don't know, bring in strenuous exercise

and it gets harder and harder.

my oldest brother talking with his mates about girls

that they saw at a party,

talking about them and being, "oh, her, she's a fat chick."

you know, you don't wanna be that one.

i just-- i wish they'd come up with some magical thing

that you could take that would make you never gain weight.

you could just not worry about it

and eat whatever, and do whatever, and be fine.

we shouldn't have to live like it.

nobody should have to starve themselves to fit in

with how a magazine looks.

i mean, i'm not naturally this thin,

and lots of models aren't naturally that thin.

they have to really watch what they're doing,

and it takes up your life, you know?

[taryn] it's heartbreaking to know that there are pro-anorexic websites

that support and encourage a growing number

of young girls and women in making life threatening choices.

what would you tell a young girl

who was feeling like they hated their body

and they wanted to stop eating and live the life that you live?

what would you say to that girl?

please don't stop eating.

don't put yourself into it because you--

it's too hard to get out of, and it just gets worse.

the current rhetoric around obesity contributes to this,

because if you paint fat as really bad and thin as good,

then thinner has gotta be better,

and thinnest has gotta be best.

collectively, we've somehow been fed a line

that basically thin is healthy,

fat is unhealthy, by definition.

and this is simply not the case.

there are lots of thin people who are unhealthy

by many criteria.

they eat badly,

they have high blood pressure, whatever it is.

and there are numbers of fat people who are very healthy.

this idea of having a thin body and how you look,

it's become really important.

mostly, this is attributed to the globalization of media.

even in a place like fiji,

that traditionally valued a larger fatter body,

presumably as a sign of wealth and health,

very soon after the introduction of television,

young women now are wanting to be thin,

and they had eating disorders observed for the first time.

and all this happens really rapidly.

well-meaning parents are trying to praise their children,

particularly their girl children,

and tell them they're pretty and so on.

and, really, this is probably not a good idea,

because this again focuses the importance of appearance.

it doesn't really matter whether it's positive or negative,

it's saying that appearance is pretty important.

so it would be useful, particularly with girls,

if parents could really conscientiously

make their praise and commentary

on what the girls do more than what they look like.

[taryn] for years, society has been telling our girls to be pretty

and women to be beautiful,

as if that's the most important thing they can be.

for the sake of my daughter and for all of our kids,

this has to change.

* this is how i do it and you wonder how *

* everybody tells me i'm so hot right now *

i've come to the states to meet a few people,

and the first person i'm meeting is a cosmetic surgeon.

i'm going to ask him what he thinks of my body.

the normal breast shape is more like that.

in other words, the nipples are at the center of the breast.

so typically, in order to give you that youthful look,

a little bit of a projection,

what we need to do is place an implant

to give you the volume that you need,

and also a small nipple lifting,

which would bring the nipple up

to where it's supposed to be-- at the center of the breast

rather than on the lower part of the breast.

so you need a breast augmentation,

plus what we call a nipple lifting.

probably about 65% of my practice is body work.

and then the remaining is face, eyes, nose,

fillers, botox, eyelash transplants.

we can easily remove all this fat from the sides

upper abdomen, lower abdomen,

and give you more of a slimmer and trimmer look.

definitely able to put that fat into the lips,

if you wanna have a little more fuller lips,

especially when you look closely in the mirror,

which i'm sure you're gonna do when you get home tonight,

your upper left lip is a little bit smaller than your right side.

we can put a little bit more in there,

and give you-- actually, let me give you a mirror

so i can show you.

give you a little more fullness.

so we can take some of this fat that we talk about,

and actually inject it inside your buttocks here

to give you more of an uplift.

we can definitely get rid of these areas,

the inner thigh, to kind of get rid of that

and then give you more of smaller, shapelier legs.

so the thighs may not be able to be gapped,

but definitely will not be touching like they are now.

we've had a lot of ladies that they came in

and said, "oh, my god, i was watching certain movies.

mine doesn't look like that."

and they wanna look a little bit better down below.

a lot of young females that we've had

never had any intercourse because they felt self-conscious.

they have little extra tissue.

and we've had some ladies that

probably have had maybe five or six times more than what you have here.

and the goal is to basically make that extra skin go away

and make it look less bulky, so to speak.

women never get to see their own vulva.

or rarely, anyway.

men get to see their penises.

they play with them and do whatever they need to do with them,

but women never see another woman's vulva.

once we get past that vulnerability,

once we have the courage to share,

"wow, your vulva is different than mine,

and mine's different than yours,

and it's not what we see in pornography. it's life!"

we're all so beautiful and so different.

[taryn] so when you looked at my body,

did you think it looked healthy or unhealthy?

you look good, but again, you could definitely use

a little bit of a help with the breasts.

as i said, your breasts are never gonna come up.

they're not slinkys that you pull it down

and just go back up again.

[taryn] of course they're not slinkys.

they provided 4,000 meals to my three children

and they don't deserve a hard time.

they deserve a gold star on hollywood boulevard.

go, boobs!

and whilst i can have a laugh at the absurdity

of injecting my butt fat into my lips,

it really worries me that there's this notion

of how a woman's body should look.

and i'm sure positive role models exist.

in fact, i remember seeing the movie "hairspray,"

in which ricki lake plays the unlikely hero.

she had a body shape that we're just not

used to seeing on the big screen.

i've had a very complex, complicated relationship--

a love hate relationship with my body, as i think most women have.

my whole career started because john waters chose me

to be the fat girl in his movie.

oh, corny, do you really think i'm good enough?

what do you think, kids?

i was the original tracy turnblad,

and what an amazing character and amazing role model.

i'm big, blond, and beautiful.

i get why he chose me.

the film subverts the hollywood narrative

of one size fits all--

the big girl that gets the guy and wins the dance contest.

let's dance!

but i also had all these internal insecurities

about my body and what i looked like.

and i was very young and i was not someone

that boys were drawn to,

and, you know, i was a sexual abuse survivor,

so i had all of that mixed up, that i didn't want to be attractive to men.

so i think i was eating as a way to kind of protect myself,

and i felt like i was a walking contradiction.

on the one hand, publicly,

i became a star as this adorable fat girl.

but yet, inside, i was still trying to find myself

and feel comfortable in my skin.

and i think much of my adult life has been about that.

and being a famous person and having that struggle

being so public is really a mixed bag, too.

and i felt for a long time, because i got skinny

i'd get big again, i'd have the baby, i'd get--

you know, it was a rollercoaster.

i mean, i've been 120 pounds and i've been 260 pounds.

right now, today, i'd love to lose 20 pounds.

i just turned 46 a couple of days ago

and i have it all. i really have it all.

but it's still-- i look in the mirror

and i pinch my arm, and i-- you know.

it's like i wish that i could be like

one of those women that can just get over it

and not-- and just be okay with what i have today.

and i felt implicated for a long time,

because here i was when i lost all the weight,

and i'm on the cover of a magazine in a bathing suit.

i mean, what message am i sending?

but i was really proud of myself.

it's a huge, huge accomplishment for me.

and that was one of their number one selling covers of all time,

was me-- me! i mean i wasn't even that famous.

but i get it. there was part of me

that wasn't totally surprised, because i'm that person, too,

that wants to know "how did she do it?"

but i also wonder if it's doing a disservice

by being so public about something that's so, really, so trivial.

we should be talking about the environment and world peace.

[taryn] so, ricki, have you ever wondered

what it would feel like to not worry about your weight?

i have no idea what that would feel like,

because that is just not my existence.

i can't even think--

my mother was so food and diet obsessed.

that's what i grew up with.

i was always self-conscious about eating that extra plate of food,

or having dessert felt like such a guilty pleasure.

um, you know, but that's my norm,

and that's most women's norms.

it's a real struggle, and i resent the fact

that so many days and hours and time has been spent

hating what i look like when i look in the mirror.

i'm still striving to get to a place

where i'm completely 100% comfortable in my skin.

i'm almost there. i'm getting better.

and i better hurry up, because i'm not getting any younger, you know?

[taryn] it's refreshing to hear someone

with such a public profile sharing experiences

everyone can relate to.

someone i connected with through twitter

was amanda de cadenet.

she was the youngest female photographer

to shoot the cover of "vogue,"

and was keen to share her thoughts on body image.

everyone has a story about her body, right?

it's just whether they're willing to be honest about it.

it's an issue and a subject that affects

practically every woman and girl that i know.

when my body started changing

from being a girl into a young woman,

and literally within three months

i went from being a completely boy body

to having like double-d boobs and curves,

suddenly i was getting unwanted sexual advances

from complete strangers,

and i started to not want the body that i had.

and i began to not eat so much so that i would lose weight

and that my body wouldn't be so curvy.

you're viewed a certain way if you've got a body like mine.

i could wear a potato sack.

but if it's not a long enough potato sack or a potato sack

that doesn't cover me up enough,

it can be construed as a sexual outfit.

i'm in city clocks in islington with flavor flav from public enemy.

i got pregnant when i was 18.

at the time, i was on television in the u.k.,

and people publically commented on how different i looked

and how much weight i had put on

and getting really shamed for having a pregnant body,

and then even more shamed for having a post pregnant body.

that was really painful for me.

yet again, i got the message that if you're thinner,

you're better.

unfortunately, our society doesn't mirror back

many options for us,

so we sort of feel like we have to fit into

what is presented to us. but you know what?

when i'm on the beach in barbados,

a girl with no bum and no ass is--

no one's looking at.

that's not desir-- that's not beauty

to them in the bahamas.

culturally around the world, the ideal of beauty

is different,

and i think it has to be like that for us.

our ideals of beauty have to be different

depending on who we are.

every time i have to do something that's super public,

whether it's like launching a new tv show

or i have a big round of press to do,

a bunch of photo shoots,

i know it's going to be a nightmare for me,

because none of the clothes will fit,

i will get body shamed by whoever's on the shoot,

of like, "oh, can you try that sample size on?"

don't try to get me to put on a top

that is a size 32,

because i'm 38 double-d,

so my nipples are not even gonna--

one of my nipples will not fit in that thing.

i know what's gonna happen,

and i think, "oh, i should just drop some weight."

and then i think, "you know what?

no, that is just some old crazy thinking.

no, i'm not gonna do that,

and i'm not gonna torture myself."

and a friend said to me before my last show just launched,

he said, "amanda, people don't turn on the tv

to look at what you're wearing

or what your weight is,

or how big or small you look,

people turn on the tv because of what's in your mind.

and if you don't eat properly, your mind isn't gonna work."

when i was at my thinnest,

people said, "oh, my god, you look amazing.

what are you doing?" and what i wanted to say is,

"i've never been so miserable in my life,

i feel completely devastated."

i was having the worst time in my life,

and i was the thinnest, because i just couldn't eat.

i know what it takes for my body type

to be a medium size.

it takes obsession.

it takes all my focus away from my children.

it takes me out of my life.

it takes me obsessing about food, exercise, calories,

whether i can't eat that and i can eat that,

and what time can i eat that, and, oh, i can't eat that

because that's cooked with that, and i can't have that

because that's got that on in it.

it's hell. hell on earth.

so, you know what? if i wanna eat a fucking cookie that my kid bakes,

i'm gonna eat the fucking cookie my kid bakes.

[taryn] i couldn't agree more.

you know, we've been fed this idea that if you diet and have a thin body,

then you're healthy and you must be happy,

but that simply isn't true.

i couldn't believe the things people wrote about my body

when i posted the before and after photo.

[matthew] i mean, anything sexual, especially when

they're talking about your wife,

that really gets me going.

i didn't marry taryn because of her thigh gap or her boob size.

i married her because of the joyous, loving person that she is.

[taryn] i can't even begin to tell you how wrong

the body shamers are.

just because my body doesn't conform to society's

narrow ideals of how a body should look

doesn't mean i'm unhealthy.

i'm pretty sure you can't run a marathon and be a lazy pig.

and despite what the body shamers think,

my body is fit, capable, and strong.

and i want my daughter to grow up loving

and appreciating her body for all the things it can do,

not just how it looks.

girls are just bombarded with very stereotyped

and normative ideas of what it is to be female,

and they think they should look like that.

and if they don't, they're irrelevant,

they have nothing to offer the world.

they may as well crawl up into a hole and disappear.

when we sexualize girls, when we reduce them

to the sum of their sexual parts,

when we tell them they have to be thin, hot, and sexy

and that nothing else counts,

we contribute to a raft of negative, physical,

and mental health outcomes.

the way that we style them

and present them in advertising,

the way we suggest that little girls

are perhaps sexually interesting, sexually mature,

sexually available,

we suggest that girls are much older,

much more mature than they really are.

and boys are being trained to have a sense of entitlement

to the bodies of women and girls.

let's go somewhere more romantic.

"grand theft auto 5,"

where boys pay for a prostituted woman,

they have sex with her, and then they murder her to get their money back.

primary school boys are playing this.

-hello? -[gun cocks]

and the thing with a game like "grand theft auto 5"

is that it's not passive.

the boy's not passively watching something. he engaging in it,

he's doing it. he's acting it out.

he's feeling the car rock back and forth during the sex.

he's feeling himself kill her with the weapon, the impact of that.

he's seeing her bleed and die.

so if we really genuinely care about our young people,

we would be doing something to address

the cultural landscape in which many of us

are struggling to raise happy, healthy,

resilient children.

why should the vested interest of advertisers

come before the well-being of children and young people?

[taryn] everywhere i go, there is a common sense of despair.

parents are worried about the impact

that the sexualization of young girls

and objectification of women

is having on their children.

in an ideal world, the messages conveyed to my daughter

would be so different.

they would be inclusive of every body type,

including our own body type-- hers and mine.

and in ideal world,

i wouldn't have to constantly play--

what's the word?

damage control.

damage control. i feel like i'm getting emotional, but i feel like

i'm putting out a thousand fires every day

just by, um, the media, the messages, television--

all of it.

i'm drowning in a sea of media.

* you suck me in, i'm hooked on you *

* i can't win no matter what i do *

* all around me, everywhere i look *

* it's not fair

* you're a snake

* setting traps all over the place *

* nary showing your face

* killing us slowly, sometimes quickly *

* don't you care?

* and that's how you wanna live your life *

* you want me hungry and horny *

* crawling up to you and begging *

* for another spoon of it

* you want me stupid and lonely *

* but i think we've both had just about enough of it *

[taryn] as demoralizing as all of this is,

there is hope-- people like jes baker,

who are pushing back against these toxic ideals

of how we should look, feel, and behave.

a few years ago i was just starting out blogging

and the media was all abuzz

about abercrombie and fitch's ceo.

he had said some quotes about how they didn't sell

extra large clothing for women...

because they only sold to the cool kids

and didn't find larger women valuable.

so in response to that, i just decided to collaborate

with a local photographer and another model,

to recreate an abercrombie and fitch advertisement.

it broke people's brains.

people did not know what to do with it.

they absolutely loved it, they absolutely hated it,

they everything in-between

and on all sides of the spectrum.

it was just really incredible to see that much emotion

coming from one image.

the world wants it, they love it, they need it.

they love the shock factor of it.

and that is how we recondition our brains,

is we see new images,

different images to replace old ones, to balance the old ones.

so, jes, diets, what do you think of them?

well, they're mostly unsuccessful.

they are usually soul draining.

they tend to fuck with your body in negative ways.

and they have been something that has caused

a lot of emotional and physical suffering my entire life.

so i am not pro-diets. i'm very anti-diets.

and the diet industry makes billions of dollars every year.

it's amazing to me that so much research shows that 90 plus percent

of diets don't work.

[taryn] that is so true.

in fact, i've learned to never trust a four letter word

when the first three letters spell "die."

[woman] in the beginning of your diet, you feel a lot of hope,

because you're so excited and so determined to eat less.

and you probably notice that you're losing weight.

the next thing that you probably notice

is that it's getting a little bit harder to maintain.

now you're thinking about food all the time,

you're more conscious of smells,

and you really wanna break your diet.

when your body gets deprived of calories,

it makes you think about food.

it makes sure that you concentrate less

on other things so that you're focused

on getting food and taking care of yourself.

it even changes the taste perception in your mouth,

so that a wider range of flavors

might be interesting to you,

so that you're more willing to eat anything

just to get calories.

but then your body could slow down

your metabolism a little bit,

so you spend a little bit less energy.

and so even though you're eating less,

your diet is now causing you to gain weight.

it's not that people are failing,

it's that diets are failing them.

we don't stop to think

at just how incredibly awesome this body is.

instead, we just focus in on one narrow detail,

and that's weight.

[taryn] i have to say, throwing the diet book away

was one of the most liberating things i've ever done.

occasionally, you see someone's work that really makes an impact.

after years of emailing fellow photographer jade beall,

i was so excited to finally meet her in person.

since i was 10 years old, i've been obsessed with imagery,

specifically of thin women that appeared poreless

and appeared unobtainably beautiful.

and i did some photos of myself

trying to find peace

with not being a photoshopped person.

i'd just given birth. i was at an all-time low, a failure.

i was fat. i was ugly.

i was suffering from pretty severe post-partum depression,

and i took some images of myself nude

and i called them beautiful.

revolutionary.

i posted them on my website

and on my facebook photography page,

and people loved them just as they were.

highlighting my cellulite.

highlighting the dark circles from trying to figure out

this new life, from feeling scared

and sad and joyous, and not erasing away

all the details of that moment.

those little details, they're beautiful.

they make us irreplaceably beautiful.

i was a teenager with pretty severe acne.

and, oh, how i craved to see a girl, a teenager,

with some blemishes on her skin

on the cover of "seventeen" being called beautiful.

i couldn't look at myself in the mirror for three years

because of these blemishes, and i felt disgusting,

absolutely disgusting,

just because of the texture of my skin.

the first woman i photographed

after i did my self portrait that i put out there,

she never had shown her belly before. she's a dancer.

and she revealed her embarrassing stretch marks.

and her kids love their mama so much.

and it was just like this perfect moment.

and she was very proud of that photo.

and that photo went everywhere all over the world.

i also like to call this kind of photography therapeutic photography

because it's a process.

it's a practice, kinda like yoga.

you gotta practice at it to really start to feel the pose.

you gotta practice seeing yourself

in many different lights with your wrinkles,

with the pimple of the day. so many people are like,

"oh, jade, can you just remove that pimple because--"

and i get it. it's temporary.

but it's also just a sign of how life is constantly changing.

and, no, i'm not gonna take the pimple away.

the majority of them have left really joyous,

maybe email me the next day,

like, "i feel a little vulnerable."

a little vulnerability hangover happening.

some women immediately they leave and, like,

"for the first time, i love myself."

and they wanna come back,

they're like, "let's do another shoot."

yeah, they're pretty awesome.

we definitely don't see a celebrated body diversity,

ethnicity, um, body shape.

limbs, no limbs--

all the different ways that we arrive on this planet,

or that we become, how we change on this planet,

and how amazing that is.

no two bodies are alike,

and all these little things make us unique.

and to be seen is incredibly empowering.

when we look at photoshopped imagery,

we're like, "oh, my, i wanna look like that,

but i have no idea how to get there."

instead of, "oh, wow.

she looks like me, and that's beautiful."

[phone ringing]

-hello? -hi, miki.

-hi, mama. -how are you?

[mikaela] i got another--

[taryn] traveling as much as i am can get a little tiring,

but the best part of my day is checking in with the family.

[mathew] so how did it go meeting jade?

it was good. she was so positive.

we had lots of fun and we spoke for hours.

one thing that really puzzles me

is the amount of time and money women spend

attempting to defy their age.

and in a world where so many are trying to eradicate

their lines and wrinkles,

i've come to meet someone who has grown to love them.

[woman] and, renee, i'm going to ask you to make

several movements of your face.

and i'm going to ask you to do each movement twice.

i want you to hold each position

until i tell you to release it.

okay.

-ready? -yep.

the first one is raise your eyebrows.

[woman] i started modeling when i was 12.

it was my aspiration, really, to be a supermodel,

like the linda evangelistas, and the cindy crawfords,

and the claudia schiffers.

and then all of a sudden, when i'm 29,

i'm just writing in my journal one day,

and i write, "there's something really wrong with you."

you are going to die.

many months later and many doctors later,

i remember standing in front of the x-ray machine,

and i looked up and was completely stunned

to see my head with a huge brain tumor.

you know, the doctor saying, "well, the good news

is these types of tumors are never cancerous.

but the bad news is, this is one of the most

dangerous forms of massive brain surgery,

and you have to get immediate surgery."

i woke up about 13 hours after the brain surgery,

hearing people around me talking that something had happened,

something had gone wrong.

the only thing holding my facial nerve together

was the tumor itself.

so as soon as they started taking out the tumor,

my facial nerve just fell apart.

on one side of my face,

zero wrinkles, zero lines.

and on this side of my face,

i saw the person that i knew myself to be my whole life.

and i saw...

i saw like my smile lines

that i had worked very hard to get those smile lines

because i had lived so much.

and i just felt all of my life experience

on one side of my face,

and on the other side of my face was just nothing.

[woman] and release.

down and together.

try it once more. down and together. hold.

[renee] every day i just got in front of the mirror

and i would just stare in my own eyes

and tell the right side of my face

to act like the left-hand side of my face.

and then, just gradually, i would be able to see

like part of one little tooth first when i smiled,

and then like another one would come.

and then finally two teeth would come

when i would run into people

and they're like "oh, my god! it's a miracle."

and i would say, "yes, oh, my god! it is a miracle."

and then i would kind of retreat and say,

"it's a miracle and i'm grateful,

but i don't feel that good about it."

like, i miss myself.

i miss walking into a room with a group of friends,

and just how i would feel when my smile would beam.

and i just thought, "renee, you can either be depressed about this

the rest of your life,

or you can figure out a way to still continue to shine

the brightness that you are inside."

i started, actually, making social media videos.

i mean, to me that was one of the gutsiest things that i could do,

just, boom, share my face on camera.

at the beginning, i thought that i was just doing it for myself.

and through the process of me sharing so openly and vulnerably,

i could see peoples hearts starting to open.

i could see my story and my flaws touching them.

you know, flipping the flaws is great.

accepting them is wonderful.

and then actually celebrating?

when we do that, we allow the same space for others.

we stop judging other people so much.

other people stop judging us so much.

it's really a path to peace.

[taryn] i loved that idea of not judging,

and on my travels, i've heard so many stories of inspiration

and defiance and determination,

but not everyone is on that path to peace.

i'd like to be thinner.

i don't like.

too big. too fat.

maybe i'm a little bit fat.

there's some days when i want to cry.

[taryn] it seems unbelievable that so many of us

have lost perspective on what matters.

it reminds me of a woman i met who sets the story straight

on what's really important.

[reporter] at 24, this bright mining engineer

signed up for a 100-kilometer outback marathon.

this is turia on the course in september 2011.

she's powering through the kimberley.

but just a few hours later, she'd be fighting for her life

after being trapped in a raging bushfire.

it was a shock time, 'cause you wake up

every day of your life and you look at yourself

in the morning when you brush your teeth,

and then all of a sudden something happens to you

and the next time you look in the mirror,

you don't know who's staring back at you.

it's sort of like, the person who was in the mirror,

that wasn't me.

that wasn't who i saw myself as.

but now when i look in the mirror, i see me.

which sounds really ridiculous, because who else would i be?

maybe it was the best thing to ever happen to me,

because i've been able to create a life for myself

that i'm really passionate about.

my accident gave me a voice,

and it gave me the opportunity to be heard

and it gave me the resources to put my energy

into something that i was passionate about,

like working with interplast and my foundation.

so it could be the worst thing that ever happened to me

or it could be the best thing.

i don't know. i don't think anyone does.

i remember someone stopped michael in town

and they asked him why he was still with me.

after i found that out, i was really crushed 'cause i thought,

"oh, is that all that anyone ever thought of me?

was i just a pretty girl?

like, i'm so much more than just what i look like.

i'm really lucky to have him.

i suppose it's not really luck, though. i'm pretty awesome.

with the "women's weekly" cover,

i got a lot of emails and they went--

you know, they said, "i hate my body, i hate my face,

i hate my legs, i hate my arms."

it's a waste of energy that people spend

all of that time worrying about how they look

as opposed to what they can contribute.

i really think it's all in the mind.

if you're self-conscious about something,

other people will notice it.

but if you just own it, people don't care.

people are too busy being wrapped up in their own lives

to actually care about what you're doing.

and i've gone through something so huge

that most people don't go through, so i think,

"well, i've managed to start my life again from scratch,

i'm not sure why other people can't."

that probably sounds a little bit harsh,

but it's just how i feel.

[taryn] no matter who you are, having to face

your inner critic can be one of life's greatest challenges.

i've come to london to meet someone

who's managed to overcome the criticism

and accept and love themselves just as they are.

so one day i just looked in the mirror and i thought,

"oh, gosh." then we went to the doctor's.

they diagnosed me with polycystic ovaries,

which did lead me to grow lots and lots of facial hair.

so i used to go to the beauticians, and they used to wax it,

and it grew back with a vengeance,

and it came back all over my face.

yeah, and it was darker, it's thicker, it's longer

than what it used to be before.

i spent years and years removing my facial hair.

and i hated my body for the way it looked.

so, i was harming it, and i was punishing my body by self harming it.

it was excruciating.

my bedroom was my safe haven, so i would go to school,

and then come back straight to my bedroom,

and i didn't go out. i didn't have a social life.

i wasn't able to meet new people or make new friends.

my turning point was the day that i decided

to actually end my life.

i don't think people realize how much strength

it takes for you to one day wake up and say,

"do you know what? today, i just want to end myself."

it takes a lot of energy,

and for me it was a lot of negative energy.

and i thought-- well, literally,

i was sat there on my bed

and i was ready to go ahead with this act.

and i thought-- in a split second,

i thought, "well, why don't you turn this negative energy

into positive energy and actually grasp hold

of your life and actually learn to be happy?"

i remember sitting on my bed one day

and going through all of these negative labels,

and actually plastering positive labels on myself,

so when someone called me ugly,

i would say, "no, i'm beautiful."

if someone called me fat,

i'd be like, "no, i'm quite sexy."

i think that's all women need to do.

i think women need to start finding positive words

about their bodies and actually embedding them

in their heart.

you have to feel beautiful.

you have to feel love for yourself.

you have to feel compassion for yourself.

that's the turning point.

internally, you have to change first.

i love my beard.

yeah, i get all different reactions.

some are quite intrigued and some are quite nasty.

and they call me things like, "she man" or "she male."

why don't you just tell me straight up to my face

that "you need to shave, you look ugly."

but to me, i don't feel ugly, i feel really beautiful.

so, when people do come to me with comments like that,

i just sort of brush them away because i know they're not true,

and i know that's their opinion of me.

and for them that opinion might be true,

but, to me, it's not. i live a different life

than them and it's fine. i'm happy with that.

there's no definite answer to what beauty is.

beauty is what you make it.

we're all so different.

we need to celebrate the fact that we are different.

and that in itself is beauty.

love your bodies for the way that they are,

because your body is the only body that you have,

and why are you complaining about such a beautiful body?

[taryn] i've been on the road for a long time.

i miss home, my bed, and most of all i miss my kids.

through social media, i've been able to connect with some amazing people.

one woman who shares my passion

for changing attitudes about body image

is german actress nora tschirner.

she's invited me to vienna to attend a red carpet event,

and i'm excited to go behind the scenes

and to hear her insights into this world.

i think-- i'm not sure, but i think you're supposed to have a long dress.

you didn't tell you it was long dress.

it's a robe. isn't that a ball gown thing?

-isn't that a-- -that's kind of ball gown-ish.

maybe in australia!

aw, shit.

[nora] to focus so much on your looks,

it's a race that you can win for a couple of years,

and then that's it, because then you start to age.

like, i have not heard of a person winning it so far.

but then, still, if you're starting to be an actor

and your face is on the screen and it's, like, very big,

there's moments when you start to think,

"well, i mean, this side does just look better," and stuff.

and i really had to force myself to not be too strict about it.

no, but seriously, actually, i really tried to not go

on these events a lot because it's so much--

"oh, my god. do you see who's over there?"

this whole "gossip girl" scenario,

since i'm not 16 anymore, it's just--

it's super stressful for me.

-yeah. -i think.

[sighs] i've done photoshoots where i thought it was funny

to, "oh, my god, i look like

i've never smiled in my whole life,

and everything's just super intense.

and i have pain all over my body and stuff."

and i know how to do that and i've done it,

but i was super young, and now i'm also like,

"holy shit, why did i like that so much?"

if i look at it now, i feel a bit stupid.

the most successful films i was in, i was playing

this ugly duckling that kind of never turns into the beautiful swan.

and she's an amazing character.

i love her-- anna gotzlowski.

and she's kind of this nerd

who wears these big knitted jackets.

she's such a nerd.

and these glasses, but she chose that style.

and there was talk in the beginning

to let her change during that story

and to make her wear contact lenses,

but then we got rid of that idea

and let her stay the same,

and every time she's starting to dress up

and becomes another person for a date or something,

everything goes wrong. so that was kind of cool.

[speaking german]

[taryn] so, nora, you spent a lot of time

in the media spotlight,

what does it feel like to be judged?

if it happens to me, it's not such a big problem.

i get-- i tend to get very emotionally involved

if i see it happening on television,

like, on casting shows,

where grown up people who must know

that they're role models

tell people about their thigh gaps,

that will lead to the next generation of people

who are even more focused

on stuff that is so unimportant.

[speaking german]

i felt that i was always happiest

when i just went walking through the winter and had a big jacket on,

and my face was red because it was so cold,

and i didn't wear any makeup

and i smelled like a very old fox.

best dressed and worst dressed 2000 something

from this german newspaper.

and i was like, "okay, she is-- yeah, that's not so good."

and then all of a sudden i saw myself.

and what were you? what side of the list?

i have to disappoint you. not the good one.

and the thing is, she said, "the way she's working,

she's wearing that makeup and that hair,

that undone look,

that's a slap on the face of the designer."

-you're joking. -no, seriously.

it's horrible.

-this is nora. -slapping people.

-slapping people in the face. -this isn't nora.

honestly, today's like win or lose forever.

it's "game of thrones" here. i might die.

because if i slap one more designer on the face

with not wearing makeup or the right makeup.

danke.

[taryn] nora!

nora, what have you brought me to?

[nora] i don't know, they didn't tell me.

i thought it was a cat show.

stealing my thunder, again?

[chattering]

you're just standing there,

and 20 people are shouting at you

and trying to make you do something,

and you're trying to do it, and you're like,

"they're frightful people."

and then it ends with them being like--

"oh, man!"

so i always feel like i let them down.

for the most popular actress,

it's nora tschirner.

* i can be a woman, i can be a man *

* i can be the watcher from the grandstand *

[taryn] i'm thrilled to be in new york for a photo shoot

which celebrates body diversity.

behind the camera is the man who shoots for ralph lauren,

gucci, victoria's secret-- the list goes on.

[man] some of these women that you see in the movies

or in commercials or in magazines,

and you think, god, they're flawless.

well, in their minds, they're not.

they're concerned that you don't shoot them from certain angles,

that you don't shoot them in ways that they think are unflattering

because they have body image issues.

and everybody carries that around.

everybody has those inner critics

that really inhibit them and act as an obstacle

to fulfillment and happiness.

[woman] i'm gonna make them a lot bigger than hers.

[madoff] what struck me about being here

with these women tonight,

and there was an assortment of people--

a woman who was quite heavy,

a woman who was physically impaired...

that looks really nice.

...a model,

a transgendered person,

the common denominator was affection,

and acceptance of each other.

good. you guys look great.

you really do.

and i think that if there was more affection

and acceptance, rather than criticism

and vitriol and pointing,

the world would be a better place.

one, two, three.

[woman] often, people with visible disabilities

are constantly stared at,

and so putting yourself in front of the camera

controls the gaze and gives a sense of empowerment,

so that, yes, you are staring at my body.

and i'm going to control how you're staring at my body,

and have the commentary of what i feel about my body,

and not put your perceptions of my body onto me.

i am going to control what you're seeing

and how you perceive me.

just recasting the gaze

and being empowered by putting our bodies

in front of the camera.

[woman] it was a new experience for me.

when i first heard about it, immediately my mind said,

"no, absolutely not. it's not an option."

and then i kept thinking about it

that it could help people.

then i started thinking that it isn't--

my insecurities don't really matter.

i would hope that it could inspire

other trans questioning people in the world

to love their bodies, i guess.

that's been a journey for me i'm still working on.

tonight, it just changed me.

it changed the way i see myself completely.

seeing many other women with different body types

feeling comfortable and confident

about their bodies, that empowered me today.

it's not about us versus them.

it's about women coming together as one

and saying, "look, we're all beautiful.

we're all confident. let's work together.

let's show the world that we can all be beautiful together."

i'm hoping that there's a woman out there that's plus size

that really doesn't like her body too much

and sees me in my bra and underwear

and is like, "hey, it's not that bad."

especially for moms, you know?

weight comes with having children.

some stretch marks, a little cellulite.

at the end of the day, no one looks at you like, "ew."

it's you that tears yourself apart

and sets the stage for people to frown at you,

but the more that you love it,

everybody else will love it, too.

i don't have a problem at all.

it's okay to love yourself exactly where you are.

i have a rule of thumb. if you're in my presence,

you're not allowed to talk bad about yourself at all.

it's contagious.

we can either make the negative contagious

or we can make the positive contagious,

so we'll just go ahead and make the positive contagious.

no choice.

[madoff] the feeling that one gets from being accepted,

of being embraced, is a wonderful feeling.

so i think if you want to go through life feeling better,

then you open your arms to embrace others.

[taryn] so i'm heading back to australia.

first stop sydney, then onto home.

i'm so excited, i just can't wait.

i received this phone call from a guy called nigel marsh.

he invited me to take part in his nude swimming event

in the sydney harbor.

and i was like, "who are you?"

i almost hung up on him

because i thought he was a stalker.

but after meeting him,

i decided taking part in the sydney skinny

seemed like a really great idea.

[nigel] it involves you getting naked,

but it's nothing to do with nudism.

it's a liberating thing where you go, "ah, wow.

just maybe i should stop agonizing about my muffin top

or losing an extra seven--" it makes no difference.

get fit, don't get fit. no one cares.

it's not the main point of life

to spend your whole life agonizing

about not having a body shape

that the media insists that you should be worried about.

so, here we go! whoo!

[nigel] people don't properly reflect on what's important to them.

not because they're nasty, they're just rushed.

you know what it's like to have kids and jobs and things.

and it takes one of the big four before they properly reflect.

so death, disease, divorce, redundancy.

and we all know people who have been--

had tragedy in their life and then they go,

"do you know what, i've had a think,

and what's important, really, is these things."

but if they hadn't had those events in their life,

they wouldn't have stopped and paused,

and the point of the swim, is it might help somebody

do the reflection without having to get to the big four.

don't wait until your wife has left you

or you get some awful illness or whatever.

how about have a think.

am i living the type of life that i want?

[woman] i love it!

[taryn] well, i've just finished the swim

and i feel completely exhilarated and really happy,

and i just met two women on the beach.

one was standing next to me

and she was a complete stranger

and she just squeals and says,

"ah! there's another woman with one boob! just like me!"

and she ran over and she hugged the woman who'd also lost a boob.

and these women love their bodies,

even with one boob.

and they were courageous, and they were beautiful,

beautiful women, and that for me was gold.

i was diagnosed with breast cancer four years ago

when i was pregnant with my second baby.

i'm turning 40 this year,

and it was just a perfect opportunity to embrace

who i am and my body now as a mom and a woman,

and this is a kinda new me,

and i don't really care.

a lot of it was my husband.

he said, "what does it matter? it's just a boob."

and my kids don't care. i've got two boys.

they think it's kinda funny, and a bit kinda cool

that their mom's only got one boob.

-it's been a bit of a brag-- -oh, boys!

and we've got a saying, like, if i get out of the shower or something at home.

i say, "oh, where's my boob gone?"

and i say, "oh, it's in a jar somewhere."

[taryn] over two months ago,

i set out to discover why so many people

hate their bodies and what we can do about it.

you know, i think i found some answers,

and i've been really lucky to connect with some incredible people.

magazine editors are criticized for what they put on the cover

and their use of models and photoshopping and everything,

and they say, "but that's what women want."

it's not what women want,

because magazine circulation is in the toilet.

women wholeheartedly do not want that.

and they're voting with their wallets now.

we get to be the new magazine.

we get to define what true beauty is,

what it's like to really feel comfortable in our own skin,

what it's like to have a positive body image.

it starts with people sharing their stories.

it's starts with people alleviating their own shame.

it starts with people really accepting others the way that they are.

and not just-- not actually just tolerating them

or just accepting them, but truly finding that thing

about another individual that you see as being quirky

or different or unique, and just loving them for that.

now being in the state that i am and that i love my body

and i can say, "hey, it's gorgeous and i'm proud of it,"

i can focus on more important things in life.

look at yourself naked.

call it beautiful even if you don't believe yourself.

fake it till you make it.

so, i would say my body is luscious.

it is soft, and it is--

it's comforting to my children and to my husband.

i'd like to have a shape shifter.

i'm soft.

and i smell good.

it's mine. it's my home.

it's my friend.

it's my soul's mate.

it's big,

it's beautiful,

and it's dangerously curvy.

[taryn] there is so much goodness in the world,

and i can't wait to share with you everything i've learnt.

in your lifetime, there will be people who will

try to tell you that you need to change, but you don't.

the purpose of your life is not to be an ornament

to be looked at, but rather to do and feel

and accomplish and contribute.

darling girl, don't make my mistakes.

don't waste a single day of your life being at war with your body.

just embrace it.

* you are beautiful

* the way that you are

* the way that you are *

* fuck what they all say

* you are beautiful

* the way that you are

* the way that you are *

* you are beautiful

* the way that you are

* the way that you are *

* oh

* you are beautiful

* the way that you are

* the way that you are *

* you are beautiful

* the way that you are

* whoa

*

* when i look in the mirror

* those voices inside my head *

* where did they come from

* and why do i believe the things they said? *

* they always tell me i'm not good enough *

* so i'm not listening anymore *

* unless the voice is love

* 'cause i am the best

* that i could ever be

* when i say i love

* every single part of me

* how long have i been trying *

* to be like someone else

* when the only thing i have to change *

* is the way i see myself?

* when the magazine's open

* perfection is all we see

* who decided that's what

* beauty really means?

* we're always striving

* to be something that's not even real *

* so i'm not looking there anymore *

* that's not how i wanna feel *

* 'cause i am the best

* that i can ever be

* when i say i love

* every single part of me

* how long have i been trying *

* to be like someone else

* when the only thing i have to change *

* is the way i see myself?

* ooh, look in your subconscious *

* ooh

* the answer is inside us

* ooh

* with a little more awareness *

* ooh

* i believe that we can change this *

* when you look at your sisters *

* brothers, parents, children, too *

* sometimes projecting

* the judgments we put ourselves through *

* you gotta remember

* kindness is a magical spell *

* our love can reach the rest of the world *

* if we truly love ourselves

* you do the best thing

* you could ever do

* when you say i love

* every single part of you

* how long have i been judging everybody else *

* when the only thing i have to do is learn *

* learn to love myself?

* ooh, oh, yeah

* hey

* how long have i been trying *

* to be like someone else

* when the only thing i have to change is *

* whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa

* we're in this together

* together, together

* learn to love ourselves

* we're in this together

* together

* to love ourselves

* we're in this together

* together

* we're in this together

* learn to love ourself

* learn to love ourself