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Class, if you remember nothing else from this course,

I want you to remember this one thing.

Dishonesty, lies, cheating...

You will never get away with them.

They will always come back to haunt you,

and you will pay the price.

Yes, Mr. Cranston?

This price that has to be paid,

I was thinking, Professor Wrightway, like everything else,

shouldn't we ask if it's worth paying?

I'm not talking about small-time thievery.

We're business students here.

I'm talking about something really big,

where you steal or cheat people out of a lot of money.

Zachery.

I just wanted to say that last night...

Wonderful.

Veronica.

We're in the office right now, honey.

I like to keep things professional.

Aren't you gonna open it, Zachery?

I'm kind of busy right now.

And, please, don't call me that.

In here, it's either "Mr. Cranston" or "Sir".

Okay.

There's no denying it.

I'm a bastard.

But let's go back before I had success,

and fame, and money.

It all began with just my mother and me,

and her candy store, of course.

Then, she met the man who would change our lives forever...

Mr. Edwin Murk,

the big investment manager.

The most important thing in life

is to understand the difference between good and bad.

Good.

Bad.

Good.

Yes, son. Well done, well played.

Now, Zachery,

this is a symbol of all the beautiful things

that are gonna happen in your life.

I'd always known Mr. Murk had another life.

And I was curious.

I knew then that one day I would be like Mr. Murk.

Lies, cheating,

you will never get away with it.

They will always come back to haunt you...

So, after graduation,

I spent seven years at Mr. Murk's investment firm,

working my way up to senior portfolio manager.

Things were good. Very good.

Or so I thought.

Even though your husband is gone, Mrs. Finnegan,

you can count on me.

I can continue to manage your money for you.

I need to keep this short.

Suffice it to say,

it is time to strike out in a new direction.

Leave the firm, son. The sooner, the better.

You too, Mabel, take your business elsewhere.

What's going on, sir?

Some nonsense about fraud.

Embezzlement, money laundering.

Bribery, tax evasion.

Mr. Murk, wait... I don't understand.

There must be some mistake.

With Murk Wealth Management on my resume,

other employers shunned me like a bad disease.

So, I decided to start my own business.

A wise choice?

I'll tell you what happened...

And you decide.

Hedge fund? That sounds exciting.

What do you think, Gerald?

I still consult my husband on matters of importance.

You'd be my first client.

Well, Gerald says no.

No hedge fund.

Sorry, dear, he doesn't want to take any risks.

He can be a bit of an old woman.

I've already committed my client's money

to another fund management company.

How many Masters tournaments did I take you to? What, five?

That many? Well, thanks again, by the way.

Experience of a lifetime. Never forget it.

Won't be the same going without you.

You're going this year?

As luck would have it, another company invited me.

That wouldn't, by chance, be the same company

you committed your client's money to now, would it?

You know, I... I believe it is.

You ready for this? All right.

Ah, yes!

Game time. Whoo!

So you're starting up a new hedge fund.

Yes. Always wanted my own business.

You know, no boss, no partners to answer to.

And that means I can cut you a damn good break on fees.

Forget about it, Cranston.

I've already transferred my account over to Amanda.

She's got me hooked up on one of those hot, new issues.

Congrats on the new gig, Amanda.

That didn't take long.

Dryesdale Ferrit's been after me for a long time.

I bet.

And hey, what about your news?

I hear you're starting your own firm.

Yeah. To tell you the truth, it's been difficult.

Hard to find clients when you don't have a track record,

and it's difficult to get a track record without clients.

I don't suppose you have any leads

or a bone or two to throw at me.

"Magnus Hardcastle?"

He's super wealthy.

But my firm refused to take him on.

Why? What's wrong with him?

I didn't make the fortune that I have today

worrying about ethics.

If there's one thing that I've learned, Cranston,

it's the value of shit.

"Shit," sir?

Stuff nobody wants or wants to do.

It's made me a wealthy man.

Foreclosures, wasn't it, Mr. Hardcastle?

That's right.

Bankers today, bunch of gutless wimps.

They need people like me

to take care of all the messy stuff for 'em.

But you moved on. Sold your business.

That's right.

And the last thing I want is to leave my money in a bank.

I didn't make the kind of fortune that I have today

trusting those fat-ass bankers.

Well, sir, that's why I'm here.

I'd like to manage your fortune.

I want a real son of a bitch handling my loot,

note some wine-sippin' number cruncher.

You don't have to worry about that, sir.

I'm prepared to get my hands very, very dirty.

In fact, I'm starting a new hedge fund

that will focus on the kind of business

I think that you'll like.

Weapons, gambling, pornography, pollution.

Now you're talking my language.

Excuse me, sir.

I think you'll find this more to your liking.

Why, what's wrong with this bottle?

It's poisoned, sir.

You bastard!

I'm going to make you pay.

She claims you foreclosed on her mother.

I foreclosed on lots of people's mother.

Take it from me, son.

There's no surer sign of a great business

than having people try to kill you.

I'll tell you what.

I like the sound of this new fund of yours.

I'll set you up with a million bucks.

Mmm?

With my first client finally on board,

all I needed to do was make some good investments.

The other investors were put off by the mosquitoes.

Well, that or the snakes.

Made a major financial commitment

to this venture, you know.

Ah, excuse me. I, um... I have to take this.

It seems there's been a development.

Oh, yeah?

The gold in our mine samples, um,

apparently it didn't all come from the mine.

So...

No, it, uh, it came from wrist watches.

All of it, actually.

Ground-up wrist watches.

So, what are you saying?

All things considered,

it's probably best if I get out here.

Hey!

We need to talk about this Internet firearms company

you recommended.

You assured me

that the project would be up and running by now.

Pull.

I need a winner, fast.

Just tell your investor to be patient.

- Right, Jared? - Yeah. I mean...

Jared here is the smartest guy in the industry.

That's why I brought him here today to meet you.

He's our company's secret sauce.

Quite frankly, he's what you've invested in.

I mean, I wouldn't...

And when Jared's got this product ready,

that's when the company goes public.

I figure a market cap between one and two billion.

Maybe three, on the upside.

When would that be?

Jared?

The next year continued

with one disaster after another.

Cranston.

I didn't make the kind of fortune that I have today

by tolerating disappointment.

And your fund is disappointing me.

No need to worry. I'm sure it'll get better real soon.

My dentist made 20% by investing in bull semen.

Have you ever considered that, by the way?

Bull semen?

Uh, no, I can't say that...

And my golf pro?

He made a killing in vintage guitars.

Don't worry. Glass is bulletproof.

Unless things pick up in the next quarter,

I'm afraid I may have to consider my options.

You sure you'll be happier in bull semen, sir?

My circumstances were bleak.

And my misfortunes?

They were not limited to my business.

You gotta find someone else with money.

I've never asked anyone for help.

Do you know how long my store has been a client of your bank?

Thirty-four years.

What about that son of yours?

The one with the hedge fund?

I'm not sure how much longer

I'm gonna be able to stay in business.

Back when I worked for you, Mr. Murk,

we had a research department,

and my investment performance was strong.

But now, not so much.

In my experience, you need something

the other ambitious young types don't have.

An edge.

What could that be?

You'll figure it out.

We're business students here.

Talking about something really big,

where you steal or cheat people out of a lot of money.

Two words, sir.

Charles Ponzi.

Thank you, Mr. Tempest.

As usual, your preparation for this course is exemplary.

Thank you.

Charles Ponzi

instigated one of the most famous financial frauds

in history.

And, sure, he lived a high life for a time,

profiting at his clients' expense.

It must have seemed great having the big house,

the swimming pool, the air conditioning.

But ultimately, what happened to him?

He was arrested.

He went to jail.

Led away in handcuffs,

he was disgraced and ruined.

Professor Wrightway, I was wondering.

This was back in the 1920s, right?

Yes.

Did he really have air conditioning?

A Ponzi scheme is a classic fraud.

Its essence is deception.

And the perpetrator deliberately

overstates the value of assets held in client accounts,

thereby creating a false impression

of investment success.

Like all the best ideas, it was simple.

That's why I knew it could work.

My first step, acquire a successful image.

And, of course, I need a team,

one I could trust.

Do you have any idea what you're talking about?

They say peanut butter is good.

But when it comes to catching vermin,

I'm a traditionalist.

This could mean jail.

I mean, like a very, very long time in jail. I mean...

I mean, maybe the rest of our lives.

Wilfred, we've known each other a long time.

We've been friends since we were kids,

and you were a star back in Professor Wrightway's class.

But now, you've been out of work.

For over a year.

You said it yourself, you're running out of money.

I know times have been a little tough recently, but this...

I spent six years in compliance at a major brokerage firm,

then three years in enforcement at the commission.

I've dedicated my entire career to upholding the law.

And what you're proposing...

What I'm proposing is the perfect application

of your skills.

Sit down. Come on, have a seat.

Now think about it.

Your entire life so far

has been nothing less than the ideal training

for this venture.

Besides,

how else are you gonna pay

for those medications your wife needs?

You know about that?

I also know what bandits those drug companies can be.

It's just so hard.

Trying to do a proper job search,

let alone an interview when I just

keep bursting into tears.

Hey, hey, hey, hey, hey.

Look at me. I'm a mess.

Nobody's gonna hire me.

All right.

Listen.

Here's the way I figure it.

With your expertise and my salesmanship,

we could create the greatest and most glorious scheme

in the history of scheming.

It'd take them years.

Years and years to catch up to us.

In the meantime, think what you could do for Sarah.

Wilfred, you could save her life.

Why would anyone fire an excellent accountant

like Martin Abacus?

In business school, you were a legend.

They said I drank too much.

Sorry.

Don't be. I see it as an opportunity.

And opportunity to go out on my own, to work for myself.

Independence, freedom, all that bollocks.

But there's one small problem.

It's taking a little longer than I'd like

to find my first client.

Actually, as fate would have it,

I'm looking for a new auditor for my hedge fund.

- Is that so? - Yes.

You see, I find that most accountants are so literal,

so lacking in imagination.

Well, my family said

that I should always have been an artist.

I would like my fund's financials

to be more than a mere mundane reporting of actual fact.

My first degree was in literature.

My favorite genre was fantasy.

Fantasy.

Veronica.

So good to see you.

How much do you know about hedge funds?

Not very much, sir.

That's excellent. You can start right away.

Oh.

Yes.

I think you're gonna work out very well.

Nice touch.

No one can know or suspect what we're doing.

Not even your assistant, Veronica.

All right, listen up.

This is what your clients want, correct?

And this is what you've been getting for them, correct?

Okay, so, here's the key.

This part, right here.

We need a structure that raises no alarms.

It starts with the folks holding the fund's assets.

Right now, you've got what, a single prime broker

with custody of everything, correct?

We need to fix that.

No one can ever see the whole picture.

We need multiple prime brokers, each holding only a small piece.

Then, we need an investment strategy,

something that nobody understands.

I recommend derivatives, options, futures, swaps.

Know anything about them?

They're complicated.

Exactly. That's why they're perfect.

And... Trades.

Lots and lots of trades.

I want to see pages and pages of them.

We should have so many damn transactions

that anyone nosy enough to investigate

will be buried under an avalanche of detail.

Brilliant!

Wilfred was doing great work.

Now it was time to win back my old client.

Cranston, what are you doing here?

Oh, forgive me for interrupting, Jasper.

I was hoping we might get in a few holes together.

Well, as you could see, I'm already committed.

Oh, this isn't purely social.

Dick here is the president of Forthright Funds.

His firm's handling my client's money now.

Heard a lot about your firm, Mr. "Urine."

Uren, actually.

I'm surprised to see you out here.

If my results were anything like yours,

I'm not so sure I'd be out here working on my golf swing.

You little prick.

I hate to say it, Dick, but he's right.

Your results are crap.

Come on, Jasper, I know things haven't worked out

since you came on board, but over time,

my firm's record after adding back fees and adjusting for risk

and relative to our peer universe,

it's solid. Pretty solid.

How's that compared to the 20% per year I've been making?

Hoo-hoo, 20% is a hell of a nice number, Dick.

Okay, numbers aren't everything.

True.

That's why I prepared a little package for you, Jasper.

How's it sound?

Private jet to Augusta, tickets to the Masters,

two hostesses,

and an invitation to the E-Z-GO Golf Park cocktail reception.

You can get into that?

We've got work to do, Martin.

Anything to do with investments,

no one can see it.

Except Internet firearms,

bankrupt gold mine.

This stuff is perfect.

Perfect to keep Veronica occupied.

You son of a bitch, Cranston!

Back fees, adjusting for risk. It's solid!

It's solid!

Dear investor, good news.

I am happy to report an exceptional increase

in the value of your holdings in the Cranston Fund.

The key to these strong results?

Complex derivatives strategies

such as the double diagonal spread,

the roller coaster swap,

the reverse iron albatross,

and, of course, the swaption collar.

So beautiful,

and so utterly untrue.

I represent one of the most discreet private banks

in Switzerland, Mr. Cranston,

and your fund has come to our attention.

I'm delighted to hear that, Fraulein Stumpf.

Its performance is remarkable.

Well, thank you.

One does one's best, huh?

And my client here, Mr. Karamazov,

is interested in making an investment.

Never heard of Mr. Karamazov before.

Should I?

He owns the largest chain of funeral parlors in Siberia.

But he's looking to diversify.

We really miss you here at the Commission.

Resources are stretched so thin, it's crazy.

I don't know how they expect us to catch the next fraud artist.

My new job.

Sometimes I wish I had a new job.

"Cranston Fund Management.

"Chief compliance officer."

Well, now that you're there,

that's one fund manager we won't have to worry about.

- Huh? - Please.

Mr. Karamazov is tired of clipping the coupons

and government bonds.

He wonders if you would be willing

to accept an initial investment of $5 million.

A Ponzi scheme

can only survive as long as it pays off any investors

who request their money back.

And for this reason,

a well-run scheme will always aim to ensure sufficient inflows

of new money to cover any outflows.

The keys to the city,

as mayor, is the highest honor that I can grant.

We need more citizens like you.

Citizens who support vital projects.

Project that are essential

to the well-being of our community.

Projects like your re-election campaign?

Now let's get a photo.

I don't hand this shit out every day.

- An honorary doctorate of law. - Mmm-hmm.

Well, it's the least we can do

for one of our most distinguished graduates.

Welcome, Dr. Cranston.

My fabricated investment returns

proved an irresistible hook.

And within six years,

the whole world was paying attention to my firm.

I'm with Zachery Cranston,

one of the world's top-performing

hedge fund managers.

His fund was up 20% last year.

Mr. Cranston, what are your views on the stock market?

Thanks, Melanie.

Short-term, we're range-bound.

But let me be clear.

This is a cyclical bull market

within a longer term secular bear market.

If, however, the Dow and the S&P

breach their 180-day moving averages,

we could see a possible breakout,

either to the upside or maybe the downside.

But aren't you concerned with the head and shoulders pattern

that's been forming in the markets lately?

Very concerned, Melanie. Very concerned.

Always pay attention to those head and shoulders patterns.

You are amazing, my boy.

You have made me a pisspot-full.

And you can take it from me.

A man can never have too many pisspots.

It's been another strong quarter, sir.

I have to admit.

Some of the investments in your portfolio,

I'm not sure I agree with.

There's a pajama company in there,

and some kind of teddy bear operation.

Now, I didn't make the kind of fortune I have today

by investing in pajama companies and teddy bears.

Well, that's the new world of investing, sir.

I don't know. It's still a long way from

the guns and drugs and...

...ammo stocks that we...

That we talked about at first.

And what's wrong with good old-fashioned businesses

with names like Rentokil and Black Ops Holdings?

That's how real men make their money,

not with some company called Cuddlegram or Fleecy Bedtime.

You have to ask yourself, sir.

Are those real men making 20% per year?

Hell no.

I'll send you some more money in the morning.

Veronica.

You mind joining me for a moment?

I want to share something very special with you.

Now, close your eyes.

No peeking.

Okay, you can open your eyes.

I don't know what to say.

Well, go ahead. Open it.

Wonderful, isn't it?

Grab a hammer.

We'll hang it up in the reception.

Come on.

Get your champagne.

Bravo.

Bravo, Investment Superman.

I'm so happy for you.

Thank you, sir.

Nice to see that you haven't lost your touch

with the old marts.

May I ask about your legal case?

Of course. You need to know.

Truth is, Zachery,

I've suffered a little setback on the old jurisprudence front.

What kind of setback?

Tomorrow, I'll be convicted.

But, hey, you know me.

No need to worry about all of that.

Goddamn lawyers

with their sanctimonious bullshit!

You'll never beat me!

But you're gonna appeal, right?

Zachery...

Do you remember when I tried to teach you the difference

between good and bad?

Well, I want you to have this.

A Bible?

I know, there's a lot of crazy stuff in there,

but the point is, in life, that's what counts as good.

And this baby,

well, this little thing, it turns out...

It's good, too.

No, Zachery.

But I'll tell you what.

It's beautiful.

Now, you'll have to excuse us.

So little time.

Bye, sweetie.

Bye, Ma.

Do you want me to be there for you, sir,

in court?

I want to be there by your side.

Thank you, but there's no need.

It's all taken care of.

The doctor said she had known for months

her time was limited.

Of course, they had a medical name for her condition,

but personally, I think she died of a broken heart.

It's very kind of you to invite me out here

to your country estate.

I really do appreciate it.

Nonsense.

It's the least I can do.

You're a very important part of my team, Martin.

And that's why I'm sorry to hear

that you had some reservations about the work we're doing.

The addiction program I've been attending has got me thinking.

Zachery...

I realize now the terrible mistakes I've made.

That seems harsh.

You know, those rehab people, they can be very judgmental.

And also very insightful.

You see, they've helped me understand

for the first time the importance of honesty.

Being honest to yourself...

...is the foundation of everything.

Well, that I agree with.

And being honest with other people, that's important, too.

Interesting.

You see, I've come to believe that people are truly more happy

with a pleasant fantasy.

Maybe for a time, but in the long...

In the long run, Martin.

Enough of this idle chit-chat.

Let's go stretch our legs.

I'd love to show you around the property.

About the fund, Zachery.

I've been looking at the numbers.

Maybe you should talk to the authorities.

Martin...

I really wish you hadn't gone to that detox program.

What shall it profit you to gain the whole world

if you lose your soul?

Pay the price.

Pay the price.

Pay the price.

Pay the price.

I was just thinking of my old business ethics teacher,

Professor Wrightway.

Earnest Ernie.

"Dishonesty, lies, cheating,

"you'll never get away with them."

So he's... Is he still teaching?

We put him out to grass long ago.

He's terribly old-fashioned.

So who's teaching business ethics now?

That distinction falls to me.

And I take it you don't agree with Professor Wrightway?

About always paying the price.

Today's world is so dynamic,

so sophisticated.

Who knows what's right, what's wrong anymore?

Lines are blurred.

Judgment is a matter of perspective.

So you're saying that people can cheat,

and they can get away with it?

"Cheat"!

It could be any number of reasons he's missing.

Martin's an alcoholic, for God's sake.

I just can't help feeling somehow responsible.

I...

I know it's crazy, but...

You should not think like that.

You know, it's not gonna make him suddenly turn up.

I suppose you're right.

Of course, she's right.

I'm sure they'll find him eventually.

And in the meantime,

we need to move on with our lives.

So just try to focus on something else.

Something positive.

Yes, I suppose Martin would want that.

- Thank you. - Hmm.

Thank you for that advice.

You know what would really boost my spirits?

What?

A philanthropic work.

I really think it will provide a spiritual refuge

during these dark times.

So maybe you could set something up

with that doctor at the hospital.

Yeah!

Dr. Helen.

Thank you for this tour. Means a lot to me.

- Of course. - No, I really mean it.

You see, in my work, I have to do things,

sometimes unpleasant things.

But when I'm here with you,

it makes me think what I do, maybe it's worthwhile after all.

You know, all important work has its unsavory side.

Even ours.

Some things that happen at this hospital

can be very unpleasant.

In recognition of your outstanding generosity

to the development of the Cranston Heart Center,

we thank you.

The only reward I require is the knowledge

that with my donation, I've added to human happiness.

So I accept this beautiful tribute

on behalf of the people in the trenches.

The doctors and all those nurses

who make it possible for me to save so many lives.

Here. Take this.

Doctor, I just want you to know that your hospital

can rely on my continued support.

If there's anything at all you need...

As a matter of fact, we're in desperate need

of these life-saving devices.

The company that makes them is running low on funds,

and they're looking for an angel investor.

An angel, huh?

Well, you've come to the right person.

My brother-in-law spoke very highly of you,

Mr. Tucci.

He said that you can be relied upon to be discreet.

You see, our auditor is not available anymore.

And we need someone to take over

to certify our financial statements.

Is that something you'd be willing to consider?

What's to consider?

You know, I never saw such gorgeous numbers.

Listen to me.

Your fucking statements should be in a museum.

Where are the statements?

It's right here.

Oh.

Yeah.

Let me get my pen here.

Did I ever tell you how much I love these statements?

I can't accept this.

Sir.

Thank you.

It's a very generous donation.

I've gotta hand it to you, Zachery.

This venture of yours has turned out okay so far.

Thanks to you, my wife...

She's actually walking again.

Mr. Cranston?

Beautiful property you got here.

I always feel there's something spiritual about these woods.

Mr. Cranston, we got a guy who places you and Mr. Abacus

up here together the day he went poof.

I told you. I invited Martin for lunch.

Well, this witness, the guy who saw you,

says he saw you walk through a field together

and disappear into these here woods.

My neighbor, birdwatcher.

That's your source?

We also got a report of gunshots just after.

The only thing worse than birdwatchers

are the damn hunters.

Property is posted with signs all over the place,

but it's impossible to get rid of them.

This witness,

he also says that sometime after the gunshots,

he saw you walk home alone.

Lieutenant Drake, what exactly are you looking for?

Somebody's been digging here.

That's right.

Got one of those metal detectors.

I found quite a few pieces

of old farm equipment around the place.

Now, why don't I walk you to your car?

No, no, no. That's all right.

I remember where I left it.

Thanks for your time.

Mr. Cranston,

we have some concerns about your operation.

Oh, really?

To be blunt, we are finding it difficult to accept

the accuracy of these returns

based on the investment strategies you have outlined.

I'm sure we can sort these things out.

We want to see what I believe is called the nitty gritty.

We want to see what is lurking here,

under the surface.

Mr. Cranston.

Veronica, can't you see that I'm tied up?

There's a gentleman here to see you.

Exercise a little judgment, please.

He's gonna have to come back.

Sir, the man outside,

he's a senior enforcement officer from the regulator.

Mr. Cranston.

My name is Higgins.

I'm responsible for ensuring compliance

with our agency's regulatory requirements.

This isn't actually the best time, Mr. Higgins.

I won't beat about the bush.

We have an issue with your fund.

Really?

What might that be?

Your fund is in breach of our regulations.

Ah.

Surely, there's a mistake.

No, there's no mistake.

It's your statements.

You auditor, a Mr. Tucci,

he filed them, and there's a problem.

I don't quite understand.

Mr. Tucci assured me everything was in order.

I'm afraid not.

I see. Well, I'll discuss this with him.

Yes. I would do that.

You see, Mr. Cranston,

we penalize companies $200 a day for filing late.

And your statements were filed three days late.

That's it?

That's the problem?

I wanted to inform you of this personally.

You see, Mr. Cranston, well...

My mother was at the cardiac center at the hospital,

and I wanted to let you know

how grateful I am for what you do,

for all the money that you give to help people like my mother

receive the treatment that they need.

I just wish I could waive that darn fine.

Don't worry about it.

It can't be helped. Our filing was late.

I just hope that your mother is okay.

Our parents are so important, you know.

Nice of you to rejoin us, Mr. Cranston.

These records, they're very extensive.

Well, we run a tight ship here.

Let me be clear. All this paperwork,

it might be convincing to some people,

but I'm not easily deceived.

And so I remain concerned.

And I must ask you.

This auditor of yours, who is he?

Mr. Tucci.

Yeah, I can see that is his name.

But I have never heard of him.

I think I would like to meet this Mr. Tucci.

Hey, Cranston,

you got some more of those beautiful numbers for me?

No, but I have an interfering Swiss banker

who's about to arrive any minute.

Hey, hey, hey! Hey, man, come on.

I need you to act more accountant-like.

Ah, gee, this is exactly why

I didn't join one of those big firms.

I hate all this jacket

- and tie bullshit. - Here. Come on, come on.

Okay.

Yeah?

Ah, Mr. Cranston,

I see you made it here ahead of us.

Yes. I thought I might be able to answer any questions

you might have.

And this, I take it, is Mr. Tucci?

Yes.

I won't waste time, Mr. Tucci.

I have certain reservations about Mr. Cranston's accounts.

And I'm here to understand how thoroughly, you, as his auditor,

have reviewed them.

Sure, yeah. Yeah, yeah. Have a seat, Ms., uh...

Stumpf. Fraulein Stumpf.

Ouch.

It's an unfortunate moniker.

Can't help noticing that you're working here alone.

I got a gal who comes in a couple of times a week.

And your premises are a little,

shall I say, rudimentary.

Well, yeah, I like to keep the overhead low.

Forgive me for saying this,

but I find myself wondering why Mr. Cranston

would hire you to audit his fund.

Oh.

Quite.

You're not one of the major accounting firms.

You know, personally,

I never understood why anyone would hire those big firms.

You pay through the nose,

and a bunch of kids do all the work

while the fat cat partners are out... They're out playing golf.

With me, what you see is what you get.

Hmm. Precisely.

And what I see

is not exactly someone

who wrote the textbook on modern accounting.

Needs a little updating now.

Second biggest seller in its day, though.

I have to confess. I am surprised.

This book is something I would expect

from a Harvard professor.

Fair enough.

This does go back a ways to my teaching days.

You were an academic?

You don't strike me as the college type.

I know what you mean.

You know, those places, they're way too buttoned-down.

- Too many rules. - Rules, yeah.

That's why I left. Yeah.

You know you can't even bang the students anymore?

The students?

No, I like it here.

Yeah, no, I make good money.

Yeah, I got a lot of big accounts, too.

Waste management, pizza chains, dry cleaners.

There's lots of variety.

That sounds very impressive.

And the best part, I got freedom, independence.

I can handpick the people I audit.

People of integrity.

People like Mr. Cranston here.

His financials, impeccable.

Always impeccable.

In Russia, we have saying...

Ooh.

We also have saying...

I don't understand. What's going on?

You can't seriously think it's okay...

We got to follow up every lead, Mr. Cranston.

I found something, Lieutenant.

Let's see it, Ahmed.

Like I said,

there's old bits of farm machinery all over this place.

Yeah, but this is what you need to see.

There's no doubt about it.

There's nothing down here.

I just wish we all knew where poor Martin is, that's all.

I've been assured

that in the absence of any hard evidence,

the investigation is going nowhere.

Speaking on behalf of the city, I couldn't be more embarrassed.

The police were way out of line.

But now that that's behind us,

- I got some happy news. - Oh.

My two friends here would each

like to put two million bucks into your fund.

How does that sound?

Waiter, another round.

Pay the price.

Pay the price.

Ms. Patel has finally gotten through to me.

God knows it took me long enough.

We are transforming Mr. Hardcastle's beautiful home

into a new campus

for the Spiritual Rebirth Institute.

And what exactly will you be doing here?

The goal is freedom

from material and physical desires.

If I've learned one thing,

it's that money, things never brought me happiness.

We plan to build this special treatment facility

for recovering financial executives.

Poor souls.

That constant exposure to greed takes a heavy toll.

Perhaps you yourself have had some direct experience

with the debilitating effects of excessive materialism?

This area will be a suite of meditation rooms.

And next to it, our pride and joy,

a technologically advanced aversion therapy facility

complete with the latest electroshock hardware.

There will even be full-time counselors to assist our clients

in structuring a charitable giving program

should they decide to relieve themselves

of the burdens of their wealth.

It's all about giving back to the community, isn't it, sir?

I didn't make the kind of fortune I have today

without knowing a wise man when I see one.

And you are a wise man, Cranston.

Thank you. That's very kind, sir.

It was your heart center.

That's what started me thinking.

And I finally decided

I'm not only giving away my home,

I'm also giving away my money.

Our humble institute

will be honored to receive his munificent donation.

So I'll be needing everything back

that I've invested with you.

Everything?

That's about $20 million.

That sounds about right.

Is that a problem?

A Ponzi scheme

can only survive as long as it pays off any investors

who request their money back.

How did I ever let you talk me into this?

I knew it was mad from the beginning.

- Come on, Wilfred, focus. - How did I ever...

How much money can we raise by month-end?

Not $20 million, that's for sure.

Maybe if you hadn't given so much of it away

or bought all that stuff.

I mean, a harpsichord? Who does that?

This is hardly the time to point fingers.

What I need to know is what can we do?

I don't know about you,

but I know what Sarah and I are doing.

You can't seriously want to live as a fugitive.

Would you rather go to jail, man?

I'm not gonna do that, either.

Look, we may not have the money now,

but we still have 30 days to get it.

Now, listen.

We're gonna use those 30 days, every last one of them.

And I'm gonna tell you what I'm gonna be doing. Lying.

Lying like no one's ever lied before.

With high returns and low volatility,

I've achieved both absolute and risk-adjusted returns

that are the envy of the fund management industry.

How do I do it? Well, I follow a simple precept.

Take care of the downside first

and let the upside look after itself.

But there's a catch.

When the funds get too big, too successful,

when they receive too much money,

well, the returns can suffer.

Veronica.

Over the next month,

things could get a little sticky around here.

Oh.

There are some technical issues, details.

Things about the way we've been running the business.

Paperwork stuff.

Anyway, Wilfred here is gonna be going through our records

and making sure everything is shipshape.

Just make sure the shredder is working.

And that's why it's imperative that you consider

increasing your allocation to the Cranston Fund now

before the end of this month.

Because after that,

I'm afraid I won't be accepting any new investment.

I want to say I'm sorry

for how I've been a little distracted lately.

But after this little bit of a thing that we're here in

gets cleaned up,

I'm gonna show you just how much I appreciate you.

Because, Veronica, I really do appreciate you.

We'll have dinner.

That's a promise.

Your offer to continue managing the Hardcastle donation

is most kind.

But, alas,

the entire amount is already committed

to our institute's expansion.

So, at the end of the month,

we will be needing it.

All of it.

More tea?

Come on, what do you say?

Tax man, Cranston. I'm afraid he outranks you.

Oh.

Yeah!

Oh, come on.

No can do, Cranston. No more money.

I'm leaving the industry.

Breach of fiduciary duty, they called it.

I'll always remember those Masters tournaments.

Regrettably, Mr. Cranston,

my client's occupation was very high-risk,

and he's no longer in a position to make further investments.

Oh, Fraulein...

Mr. Karamazov is dead.

Oh, my...

Well, yes, of course, we'd be very interested

in having you manage some of our endowment.

Uh, perhaps you can present

at our next investment committee meeting.

When is that?

Um, three months time.

Three months?

Is there any chance you can make it a little sooner?

Uh, well, I can speak to our committee chair.

- Of course. - Who's that?

Dick Uren.

You must know him.

He's head of Forthright Funds.

You may get away with dishonesty for a while,

but in the end...

In the end, you will always pay the price.

Fucker!

My performance was solid!

Dr. Cranston?

Mrs. Finnegan.

Well, you know, I was Mr. Murk's secretary for many years.

Yes, of course.

And he and I...

Of course, Gerald never knew,

but Mr. Murk and I had a bond

that was nothing like what he had with your mother.

He truly loved her.

With me, it was just sex.

Um...

Tell me about Mammon Trust.

Mmm. That's a name I heaven't heard in years.

Uh, it was a small bank on one of the channel islands.

Saint something or other...

St. Euripides.

Yes, that's it.

There were bank accounts,

and a safety deposit box, I believe.

Yes, I'm sure of it.

Mr. Murk didn't want any assets traceable to him,

so everything was in my name.

Everything at Mammon Trust was for your mother.

Yeah.

He really did love her.

Mmm.

Yes, now that I think of it,

you should probably have it, dear.

Oh, he was terribly fond of you, you know.

I don't suppose you have any idea what's there.

None. Though he kept a key to the deposit box himself.

And as for the cash accounts,

the statements went to some lawyer in St. Euripides.

Uh, what was his name?

Menlo Sartori at your service.

Welcome to St. Euripides.

My car awaits.

Good of you to pick us up. I assumed you'd send a driver.

Oh, good heavens, no.

I wouldn't dream of entrusting such important visitors

to the rustic charms of our island's taxis.

I would love to see it.

Any lawyer can draft legal documents, Mrs. Finnegan.

But when it comes to the loftiest heights

of client service,

well, I stand alone.

- Very nice. - Even now,

a bottle of vintage Dom Perignon awaits at the Sartori residence.

I think we should get to the hotel first.

Of course, of course.

But I must insist you join me for Sunday brunch.

Together, we shall explore the magic

of that storied elixir.

Watch your toes, darling.

I do hope you have enjoyed your Sunday brunch

with us, Mrs. Finnegan.

Oh, yes, Mr. Sartori.

Menlo. Please call me Menlo.

We like to keep things casual here, don't we?

Yes, yes.

Though I've never been fond of "Hector".

So, on the whole, I prefer "Police Commissioner".

If you don't mind.

The police commissioner and I go way back.

Partners in crime, you might say.

I hope I can repay your generosity at some point.

That's my husband. The soul of generosity.

- Hilary. - Mmm?

Why don't you leave our guest alone?

He's trying to enjoy his afternoon.

Perhaps, you should go have a little nap.

You're always trying to get rid of me

to shut me up.

Well, to be fair, dear, who wants to listen

to the ravings of a drunken lunatic?

I hope you rot in hell.

Well, you must forgive my lovely wife.

Well, Mr. Sartori,

perhaps you should try being as charming to your wife

as you are to your clients.

Food for thought, Mrs. Finnegan. Food for thought.

Let's talk about something more pleasant, hmm?

For example, what delights do you think

that safety deposit box of yours will unveil?

Well, if those bank account statements

you showed are any indication,

not much.

Thank you.

You know, I find it odd

that such pains were taken setting up those accounts,

and yet there's hardly anything in them.

Well, if I were you, I would keep my observations to myself.

This is a delicate time for us on the island.

The place is swarming with international police

on one of their tax haven witch hunts.

And I know for a fact

that your arrival has attracted interest.

Of course, it goes without saying

that you can rely on our complete discretion.

- You have your key? - Oh, yes. In my bag.

Bonne chance.

I hope you're enjoying your visit to St. Euripides.

Mmm-hmm.

It's been a very long time, hasn't it, Mrs. Finnegan?

- Yes. - Ah, here we are.

Now, if you want to do the honors.

Bingo!

I'm sorry.

I love my job.

Now, as we like to say in the banking business,

have fun. Enjoy.

Thank you very much, Mr. Cranston.

I'll be needing to look

in the handbag and the briefcase.

It's none of your business what Mrs. Finnegan removed

from her safety deposit box,

if anything.

Mr. Cranston, it's not Mrs. Finnegan I'm interested in.

It's you.

I can connect this island, that shitty little bank,

and you to a major international fraud.

Fuck! Ugh.

Mrs. Finnegan, easy.

You're gonna regret that.

That handbag is now evidence in an assault.

Commissioner Angle,

I insist you take possession of it.

It's okay.

Thank you.

I'm sorry, Gerald. The man is a barbarian.

All right, Mr. Cranston. Your turn.

The briefcase.

Otherwise, I'll have to place charges against Mrs. Finnegan.

Hell, against you, too, as an accomplice.

And neither of you will be leaving this island

anytime soon.

Those allegations about me you're throwing around,

there's absolutely no basis for them.

I've never been implicated in any fraud whatsoever.

Don't play games with me.

Can you deny knowing this man?

That's Scraps Bredenkamp, the mining promoter.

We have reason to believe

that somewhere in those safety deposit boxes

are stolen assets he hid from his investors.

And you, Mr. Cranston,

you were the last person

to see him before he disappeared.

Look, that bastard owes me a lot of money.

And I wish you well in nailing him.

But I'm not gonna let you look in my briefcase.

And my guess is, you can't make me.

We'll see about that.

You're in trouble now, old boy.

This new fella they put in charge is a powerful bugger.

If you've got nothing to hide,

I'd open up that briefcase right now.

Because, Mr. Cranston,

once my superior sets his mind to it,

he can make your life a legal nightmare.

If you're not in jail,

he'll have you buried so deep in a swamp

of international, federal and state regulations,

you'll have to get his permission just to take a crap.

My advice, don't fuck with him.

Please accept my sincere, sincere apologies.

My subordinate's behavior was inexcusable.

Of course, you are beyond any suspicion.

Mr. Higgins, so good to see you.

And I hope you'll give your mother my very best wishes, hmm?

Thank you, thank you.

Madam.

Toes, toes.

Are you sure you won't join me for a quick lunch

before you head home? Airline food is so ghastly.

It was good of you to wait for us back there, Menlo.

But if you don't mind, we'll just head to the airport.

Oh, dear. How disappointing.

See, I'd hoped

that we could settle this so much more gracefully,

but instead...

Mr. Sartori.

You should be ashamed of yourself.

Greed does terrible things, Mrs. Finnegan,

even to people like me who should know better.

I'm beginning to think you are not such a very nice man.

And I hope you shall find it in your heart one day

to forgive me.

But until then, for now,

let's take a peek inside, shall we?

Goodness.

You don't see things like this every day.

I should have known from the beginning

never to trust that man.

Painful though it is,

I say we let him have his fun, Mrs. Finnegan.

It's a modest price under the circumstances.

And I'm pretty sure he won't be telling anyone about it.

Well, it's your money, dear.

But if I ever see him again,

I'm going to give him a piece of my mind.

Shall we?

It's a beautiful day, Veronica.

It's a beautiful world.

Hey, I haven't forgotten that promise.

Dinner. We're definitely having dinner.

Wilfred, do you believe in divine intervention?

I believe we're screwed, if that's what you're asking.

There are more than enough bearer bonds in there

to satisfy Mr. Hardcastle

or any other client that wants out.

I really think that somebody must be looking out for us.

Remarkable. This...

This is remarkable.

Uh-huh. I mean, think about it.

All of the people we've helped.

Your wife, the hospital, the university,

all of our happy clients.

It's been a hell of a journey, Wilfred.

A hell of a journey.

I might be a bastard.

But the man upstairs,

I don't think he wants me to stop.

- Hmm. - Not yet anyway.

You just don't see these.

They're beautiful, aren't they?

Gorgeous.

You know what's really funny?

Not many people would know this,

these bonds are in denominations of a million dollars.

The United States government never issued

bearer bonds in denominations of a million dollars.

The bonds had been intended for my mother,

so I had to believe

Mr. Murk had thought they were genuine.

Fraud, it seemed,

could ambush even an old rogue like him.

As for me, I had just one last play.

A crazy, desperate gamble.

Sir.

Do you remember you once told me

you didn't make the kind of fortune you had

by worrying about ethics?

Nice apartment.

Ethics is a funny thing, son.

I may have done stuff that people called unethical,

stuff that made people want to kill me.

But I've always had one simple rule,

never, ever break the law.

Interesting, sir. Helpful.

The truth is, I haven't always followed that rule.

There's no easy way of saying this, but...

The results my fund has been reporting,

they're completely false.

That's right.

I made them up.

The fund has never made any profits.

And what money there was,

it's almost all gone.

No. No, thank you.

Did you hear what I said?

Your money...

Sir, the money that you want me to pay you back,

it's gone.

I've always liked you, Cranston.

You remind me of me

back when I was younger.

And apart from all this breaking-the-law business.

So, you're not upset?

Thank you.

I miss my old butler.

Something about a murder charge back in England.

I swear I'll pay off every cent

if you could see your way to giving me more time.

I'm sure I can raise new money.

And the very first dollars that come in,

I promise, they'll go right to you right away.

You got a set of balls on you, kid.

I'll give you that.

So...

Does that mean you'll help me?

That's fantastic.

I don't know how I can thank you enough. This is so...

Listen to me, son. Listen to me.

If it were up to me.

But all the proceeds from my investments,

the whole 20 odd million,

it goes to Patel and the institute.

So you're really dealing with her now.

And that's one tough customer.

Take it from me, Cranston.

You're fucked.

Everyone has to face their moment of reckoning

in their own way.

Wilfred had chosen his,

and I... I would choose mine.

And so, here I am.

My story almost complete.

I've written out these musings,

accounts of my experience for you to consider.

Although brief,

I think of them as my masterwork.

Naturally, I'm experiencing a moment of reflection.

Well, what do you think now, Mr. Cranston?

That idea you had back in my classroom

doesn't seem so good, hmm?

My beautiful little scheme,

it's so sad it has to end.

But you knew from the beginning it would turn out this way.

Tell me. Now that you're facing the consequences,

I expect you'd go back if you could

and undo everything.

I thought about that, of course.

People say you can't buy happiness.

But, Professor, the way I figure,

those people never had the kind of money I had.

No.

Given a second chance, I'd do it all over again.

But surely you must have some regrets.

There was so much more you could've done with your life.

True. I do have some regrets.

Never did take delivery of my IMAX home theater.

It's beautiful, isn't it?

Then there was the gorgeous doctor at the hospital.

Oh, man. We could have been great together.

Other than that, though...

That's it?

Those are your only regrets?

Yeah.

What about me?

No. Not really.

It was Socrates who once said,

"Death is the greatest of all human blessings."

I prefer a dry martini.

And a good cigar, of course.

One of those handmade ones that last forever.

But fate has its own plans for all of us.

Your client just called to say

he got the money and to thank you.

He got the money?

You're saying he got the money.

And the bank wants to know

how you'd like to invest the surplus cash.

Surplus cash... I... I don't understand.

The medical device company.

Remember? You were the angel investor.

I thought we sold that a long time ago.

It was buried in that special little account

you never look at.

The shit pile.

Anyway, I guess it wasn't worthless after all.

There was a big buy-out,

and the fund's share of the purchase price

hit the account moments ago.

May I ask what you're doing with that?

Oh, what, the gun? Oh, nothing, really.

Uh, so, let me get this straight.

You're saying that the fund has surplus cash,

and our client is happy?

Mmm-hmm.

Ah, this calls for a celebration.

Special dinner.

Veronica, I'm feelin' lucky.

Go out, get some flowers, the ones you really like.

And make a reservation for two.

At that romantic little place?

Good idea.

That sounds wonderful.

But I... I don't have anything to wear.

You don't have to worry about that.

No need for you to go.

Zachery.

Veronica, we're in the office, remember?

Call me "sir".

No.

Tonight, I want to talk with that doctor, alone.

I want to discuss my heart center with her.

Yes.

On a day like today, I think a little philanthropy

will go a very long way.

In fact, don't bother with the flowers.

I'll pick them up myself.

But you could check into my IMAX home theater.

I'm thinking about upgrading the upholstery

to zebra skin.

You know, Veronica,

I'm beginning to think that my old teacher,

Professor Wrightway, might've been mistaken.

He used to say there's always a price to pay for

unsportsmanlike behavior.

And until now, I believed him.

Maybe sometimes, there is no price.

Maybe sometimes, you can get away

with being a bastard.

What do you think?

I'm going with the professor on this one...

...sir.

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