All language subtitles for Borat Subsequent Moviefilm

Jangshemash.

My name a Borat.

My life is nice. Not.

But how I end up like this?

14 year ago,

I release a moviefilm which was
great success in US&A.

But Kazakhstan become a
laughingstocks around the world.

Our exports of potassium
and pubis plummet.

Many brokers leapt
from our tallest skyscrapers.

Since Running of Jew
had been canceled,

all Kazakhstan had left was
Holocaust Remembrance Day,

where we commemorate
our heroic soldiers

who ran the camps.

I was blamed
for Kazakhstan's failure

and banned from
ever make reportings again.

I was publicly humiliate.

Ow! Wawaweewa!

I was sentence for life
to hard labor in gulag.

But 14 year later,
men from government

bring me to presidential palace.

Premier Nazarbayev!

Listen carefully, asshole.

I have a mission for you.

He explain that,
while I was in gulag,

US&A was ruin by an evil man

who stood against
all American values.

His name?

Barack Obama.

This led to other Africans
becoming political leaders.

But then a miracle occurred.

A magnificent new premier name
McDonald Trump rose to power

and made America great again.

He also became buddies

with tough-guy leaders
across the world:

Putin,

Kim Jong-un,

Bolsonaro

and Kenneth West.

Everyone apart from me.

You, Sagdiyev...

will return to US&A
to deliver a gift

so that Kazakhstan will earn
the respect of Trump.

I was instruct
not to give the gift to Trump,

since, on previous mission,

I had accidentally made shit
in front his house.

So, it must go to
someone in his inner circle.

America's most famous
ladies man -

- Michael Pence.
- The vice premier

was known to be
such a pussy hound

that he could not be left alone
in a room with a womans.

What is the gift?

Johnny the Monkey.

Johnny the Monkey,

Kazakhstan's Minister of Culture

and number one porno star.

A cameraman will follow you to
document your mission.

I will need my producer,
Azamat Bagatov.

Impossible.

Why?

You are sitting on him.

Also, get me a chocolate cake.

Now, get him ready!

These gypsy tears will
keep you safe.

Before I make
commencings my mission,

I returned to my village
in order to give kiss

to my sons and make sexy time
with my wife.

I'm back, everybody! I'm back!

But I discovered that my
neighbor, Nursultan Tulyakbay,

had taken everything from me:

my Mikhael the Mouse pajamas
and my sons,

Bilak, Biram and Hueylewis.

That not my name anymore.

I'm so ashamed of you,

I change it to...

Jeffrey

Epstein.

All I had left
was my livestocks:

two pigs, one cow

and a daughter.

Once upon a time,

there was a lowly peasant girl
called Melania

from shithole country Slovenia

who dreamed of marrying
a rich old man.

I have a non-male son?

Daddy?

Why are you living like this?

Because I have no husband to
put me in a beautiful wife cage.

Unlike that bitch,
Lilyat Sakanov!

Mm.

How old are you?

Fifteen.

Fifteen?!??

You're the oldest unmarried
woman in all Kazakhstan!

I'm so happy that you're back.

I'm not. I'm off to US&A.

Please take me with you!

Not possible.

Please Daddy.

Here...

- have a piece of onion instead.
- Sagdiyev.

Johnny's in the crate.

You must leave now.

Uh... nice to meet you.

I go to America!

Go to hell, Sagdiyev!

Don't bother coming back
this time!

Get lost!
May all your shits have antlers!

It was time for me
to return to Yankeeland

to save my peoples.

While Johnny traveled
by luxury cruise ship,

I was placed on cargo boat
and arrived 22 days later.

That afternoon, I procure
a sleeping apartment for Johnny

and transform it
into accommodation

- suitable for an ape of his stature.
- Welcome to US&A!

While waiting for Johnny,

I decide to make inspection
of nearest village.

- My name a Borat.
- What do you say?

- Borat.
- No, it's not me.

- High five.
- No, that's...

I must go.

There was problem.

People make recognize my face.

Not me.

I'll pay you a dollar
for an autograph.

- You make mistake.
- Can I get an autograph?

It not me.
Yeah, it somebody else.

Or maybe it was gray suit.

Borat!

- I'm not Borat.
- Borat! -Yeah, you are.

- Yeah, you are. Can't deny it.
- I'm not Borat.

How would I do

my secretive mission
if I was famous?

I would need disguises.

- Ah.
- What is this?

- That almost looks like you.
- What is that?

"Stupid foreigner reporter"?

Yeah. Kind of looks like you.

You got the dark hair
and the mustache.

No, but this is not like me.

I mean, it does look like you.

No?

Take care.

You're welcome. Have a good day.

Much had changed
since I was last in US&A.

America had become
calculator crazy.

I needed to make purchasings
of an electrical abacus.

I think we could get rid
of this one for $30.

Ah. -Mm-hmm.

- What this?
- FaceTime.

Yes?

- And now...
- Hello?

- Hello.
- Who this?

This is Brian.

Hello. I talk to him.
Please be quiet.

Hello? Ghost with blue shirt,
answer me.

You are demon?

This guy that you're seeing
in the phone...

- Please be quiet.
- ...is me.

- What?
- If I say something, he says something.

Brian Brother, please,
you must be quiet.

Speakings not polite.

So I'm gonna show you
how you can ask Google questions

and it'll give you answers.

- I can make it typings?
- Yes.

- "Restaurants near me."
- Mm-hmm.

Maybe I look for food
that I like to eat.

And for dessert, um...

- What this?
- Ah...

That's not what
you're talking about, I bet.

This is for dessert?

No, this is probably
what you're looking for.

It have a pictures of a woman
with no clothes?

- Most likely.
- Wawaweewa.

Can I make borrowings this,
for one moment?

- Sure.
- I need go, uh, toilet.

Uh, you stay here.

I think he's figuring it out.

Brian help me use calculator

to find out that
Johnny the Monkey

would be deliver
in three hours' time.

I was excite.

- How you doing, my friend? I'm Victor.
- Yeah.

- Pleased to meet you.
- Nice meet you.

- You want me to help you open it?
- Uh, yes, please.

Johnny?

Your Excellency?

What are you doing here?

- I accidentally fell in.
- ...Johnny?

Johnny?

Johnny?

Johnny?

You ate him...?

No.

He ate himself.

You are going home!

Can you help me
repack her, please?

Whoa, whoa, whoa.

Hammer, now. Now, now. Hammer.

Tatti!

- Thank you, my friend.
- Thank you.

Uh, thank you.

I needed to give this
wretched news to my premier,

so I used my telephones
to locate America's fax machine.

I need to, uh,
make a contact with, uh,

my premier, Nazarbayev.

- I must inform him of some news.
- Okay.

What do you want it to say?

"Sup." S-U-P.

- That it?
- Mm-hmm.

Okay.

He sent you back,
he said "S-U-P"

with a question mark after it.

- "Sup?"
- Ah.

Can you answer him, "Chillin'"?

C-H-I-L-L-I...

He sent you a picture this time.

This is him. It's strange.

Okay.

"Sorry. Not for you.

I was sexting my sister."

Uh, sorry.

"How is Johnny?"

Can you write, uh,

"He not as alive
as he used to be"?

That's it?

What did he write?

He sent you
a bunch of angry faces.

"If you do not deliver bribe

"to get me into strongman club,

"you will be execute.

You will find a new gift
for him or you will die."

What-what else do, uh,
powerful men here like?

...NBC talk show.

I'm gonna get
great ratings on your show.

Trump is surrounded by women

as music blares
in the background.

Trump gestures to one
and appears to say to Epstein,

"Look at her back there.
She's hot."

Can you write, uh,
"My daughter is here.

Shall I give her as gift?"

- What he say?
- "Perfect.

She will be sexy gift
for Michael Pence."

Wawaweewa. High five.

Come inside! Come inside!

- Daddy, why is the sky so low?
- This is a room.

- I'm sorry I escaped from box...
- Never mind, I forgive you.

I have decide...

that you will stay here with me.

You have been chosen...

to be given as a gift

to the Vice President.

I will be
the next Queen Melania?

- Mm-hmm.
- She's the happiest wife in the world!

Uh...

Now, where do girls sleep?

All the answers are in here...

'Daughter Owner's Manual.'

Official publication of Ministry
of Agriculture and Wildlife.

Wait...

...you have a name?
Wawaweewa.

Tutar.

- I need one of these...
- Ah.

I know just the place!

Beat you!

What can I help you with?

I prepare my daughter
for market.

And, uh, I am looking for, um,
a suitable cage for her.

Okay. A cage?

- This is a pretty nice one here.
- Oh!

- 900 bucks.
- 900? A lot of money.

- Yeah.
- I think this one too expensive for you.

No, Daddy. Please, please?

Please, please, please.
I want it.

She want it.

- Daughters.
- Yeah.

- Teenagers.
- Yeah, you got to make them happy.

You got to make them happy.
Yeah.

How many other girls are gonna
live in here with me?

How many, uh,

girls you normally put
in a cage this size?

Uh, one.

But I hear, uh, McDonald Trump,
he, uh,

- cage, uh, Mexican children?
- Well...

- Yes? High five.
- Yeah, yeah.

- What is this?
- You put gas in it, propane.

If I had a gypsy in a van
and I opened the gas,

- will it finish him?
- Yeah, that... Probably.

- Yes?
- Yeah.

How many gypsies could I finish
with one canister?

However many you had in the van.

Let's say I wanted to, uh, um,
finish lives of 20 gypsy.

Would this be enough?

Maybe the bigger one.

- Ah, the bigger one.
- Yeah.

All right, you guys,
your total is, uh,

$1,491.82.

Uh, too much.
Maybe I take away some of this.

We take it all.

One day, she was
invited to a grand ball.

When Fat King Donald
saw Melania...

...he became more turgid
than he'd ever been before.

So, he grabbed her vagine.

Tutar.

Your palace... awaits.

Come see.

Not allowed.

You like it?

It's the best present
I've ever had!

Is it nicer than Melania's cage?

Not quite,

but similar to cage of
the wife before her...

...Stormy Daniels.

- Ah.
- Get some sleep.

Tomorrow we will
get you ready for Pence.

Well, good night.

Daddy, I love you.

Thank you.

There is so little wind in here!

Look at me! I'm flying!

Get inside.

Where are we going?

I'm taking you to meet one
of America's leading feminists.

Ooh.

Hi, I'm Macy.

- It's nice to meet you.
- Nice meet you.

Come sit with me.

- You are sugar baby.
- I am.

What is sugar baby?

So, pretty much, a sugar baby is
a younger girl like you and I,

and we're dating someone
who's older.

- Yes.
- And how old do you like them?

That's the question.

- Nearly dead.
- Okay, then, you should

get someone
who just had a heart attack.

- Yes.
- Okay, high five.

- High five.
- I love that. That's what you want.

As a woman, you never want to be
a person who is aggressive.

- You want to be more submissive.
- Oh.

We have to be kind of weak.

But I'm strong.

I can open a beer
with my small hole.

I can't... I... Look,

we got to be appropriate
and ladylike.

Okay.

This is what you're not
supposed to do.

Okay, you did do it.

Okay, so we're not gonna do what
you just did ever on a date.

'Cause if you do that,
they won't like you.

You want them to like you.

And so that way,
you can get money from them.

What can I do
to make a man like me?

You need a total makeover. Okay?

From face to hair
to clothes to personality

to gestures
and to what you're doing.

- Yes.
- Are you ready for a makeover?

- Yes.
- Okay.

Can you come with me
to the hairdresser?

No, what if they recognize me?

Just disguise yourself
as an American.

I'm Melinda.

My name John Chevrolet.

Nice to meet you.

I want you to make a hotsie
out of this notsie.

- We can do it.
- You want to see the hair?

I would like
to see her hair, yes.

- Okay.
- No, ma'am. Not that hair.

I have a, um, idea of a hair.

Okay.

This one. Nice one.

This is actually a gentleman.

- This is a man?
- Yes, sir.

Okay, so we're gonna do
a spray tan today.

How dark is she wanting to go?

What color is best
for racist family?

I would say right here.

I wouldn't go any darker
than a six or a seven.

Tatti.

Tatti. Monkey's cock.

Don't.

- Delicious. -That is not to eat.
- No, no, no.

And what, uh, flavor this one?
Can I...?

It's not a flavor... Awesome.

- It's not so nice.
- It's not food. I told you that.

Wawaweewa.

I need dress
with real sexy peels.

Okay.

Where is the "no means yes"
section?

Yes?

Okay, we need to try this on.

- This is not a dress.
- What this?

Uh, this is a bag...

- Mm.
- ...that just goes over the dress.

Very nice.

- Tutar, you like the dress?
- Yes, I love it.

- The man who own this, his name Michelle?
- No.

This is my store.

My name's Michelle,
and I own this store.

- What?
- Yes.

Daddy, a woman can
own a business?

Uh...

No, when a woman owns
a business her brain breaks

and her head falls off.

Just like the previous
owners, look...

So young...
tragic.

Could a woman ever
be a journalist?

No, it's dangerous.

Look at the manual.

This happened when a
woman tried to be a journalist.

What about driving a car?

Driving a car!?

This is what happened
when a woman drove a car.

Can a woman ask questions?

Questions?

I think it's dangerous.

Ah.

Time for bed.

Tomorrow you'll observe how
American girls behave in public.

Howdy, folks. Welcome.

Look, Daddy!

The fathers hold
their daughter's hands here!

He probably forgot
to bring a leash.

Daddy, hold my hand

or they will know you are fake

Could a daddy
ever love a daughter

as much as he love his sons?

No, any father who did that
would be sentenced to death.

Uh-huh.

- Howdy doody.
- Hey, how are ya?

I would like purchase a cake.

- Mm-hmm.
- Prodigious size,

made of chocolate
for my glorious leader, please.

Okay.

Can you put, um...

- message on it, please?
- By the... Yes, sir.

What would you like on this?

Um...

"Jews...

will not replace us."

Okay.

And maybe smiley face
underneath.

- Okay.
- To put him in a good mood.

- Thank you.
- You're welcome.

- If we could pack that up, please. Thank you.
- Yes.

Is there anything else
I can help you with?

- This is enough. Thank you very much.
- You sure?

- Yes, that's it.
- Okay, thank you.

I want to have a cake too.

No. Daughters are not
allowed to have cake.

Please! Please! Please!

It is illegal to give you treat.

Teenagers.

Please, give it to me, Daddy!
Give it to me!

Give it to me! Give it to me!

- Okay, choose cake, choose cake.
- A new one? Okay.

You want to pick it out?

I will regret this.

- I want this one with the baby on it.
- Okay.

It have a lot of cream.

This is our little secret.

No, no, no.

I do not want
the authorities to see.

Ooo! I can't wait to eat this!

Hide back here.

Ready.

Okay, slow down!

But it's so good!

I know, but go slower, slower!

Oh, oh, oh, oh!

Are you ok?

I swallowed the baby.

Are you serious?

I swallowed the baby.

You're not supposed
to eat the baby!

Hurry, come with me!

We must get you to a doctor!

- I have a baby inside me.
- Mm-hmm.

And I want to take it out of me.

Mm-hmm.

Right.

She want it out now, please.

- Right, I...
- Can you take it out?

No, we cannot.

- That's not what we do here.
- And why not?

- What you say, "take it out..."
- Yes.

You end that life.

That-that life will die.

Well, it already dead.
It not living.

No, it is living right now.
It has a heart...

- No, it this big.
- It has a heartbeat right now.

I don't think so.

It is a living,

breathing life
that God has created.

I don't think he's breathing.

We can show you
that it's breathing.

- It hurt my stomach.
- Mm-hmm.

And it will hurt my asshole.

- Mm-hmm.
- If it come out,

yes, because the-the arm,

the arm like this.

- It can tear it.
- Right.

I feel bad because I was
the one who put the baby in her.

You don't need to feel bad.

I was just trying to give
my daughter pleasure,

and next thing I know,
there is a baby inside her.

Mm-hmm.

- You keep calling her your daughter.
- Yes.

Okay.

- Is he your father?
- Yes.

- This is your daughter?
- Yes.

- Yes.
- Okay.

I wanted to give
my daughter a treat...

I understand. I...
I don't need to hear any...

- And she was...
- I don't need to hear any more of that.

- I understand...
- She just had to...

...that-that she is...

- But look at that face.
- I understand.

- How could I not give it to her?
- I understand.

- Would you have not give it to her?
- I understand.

Listen, uh, it really...

That is not important right now.

We're at this moment.

It really doesn't matter
how we got to this moment.

When he treat me, he said, "This
will be our little secret."

Yes, this is why I do it
here behind a dumpster,

so no... no one can see.

Now that you know
that I am her father,

can we take it out now, please?

God is the one who creates life.

And God doesn't make accidents.

- Push!
- Oh, it hurt!

- Hurt!
- Push out the baby!

- Push it out.
- Ooh, it hurt!

Push...

The baby, it out.

Okay, flush it down.

But the Jesus people said
we have to keep it.

It disgusting. It smell retched.

Flush the baby away!

I'm keeping it.

Okay, okay.

- Ah, she want to keep the baby.
- Mm.

You know what it's like.

Tutar...

Your makeover is complete...
I think you are ready for Pence.

- Really?
- Mm.

But to be sure, let's have
a practice run tonight.

Cinderella...

it's time...

to go to a ball.

Before the ball,

I would meet with fancy lady
who would help me

introduce my daughter
to high societies.

Hi. How are you today?

Good. Uh, Cliff. Cliff Safari.

And my name is Dr. Jeanie.

So nice to meet you today.

My daughter, Miss Ellie,
I need to get her

ready for ball.

So the thing about it is

we want to get
your daughter all prepared

by showing her
the right kinds of things to do.

Hell yeah!

Now let us present
the debutantes.

Miss Mamie Henderson,
daughter of Mr. Bill Henderson

and Laura Schofield.

She is presented by her father.

Daddy, you need to hold my arm,

so they think we're American.

Okay... just this once.

Sandra Jessica Parker Drummond

and her father,
Professor Phillip Drummond III.

Miss Drummond is attending
Grand Canyon University

where she is double majoring
in cage maintenance

and electronics
with a focus on VCR repair.

When I at the ball,
is it sufficient

to make little braggings
about little missy?

Maybe, yes.

And you know what?

You have to do it
very, let's say...

graciously.

- That's your daughter?
- Yeah.

- That's what we love in the South.
- Yeah.

- Pretty girls.
- Yeah.

Okay. It's-it's... They're fun.

How much you think
my daughter is worth?

Five hundred dollars.

Ooh, thank you.

You my best friend, buddy.

- It's all a...
- That's fucking gross.

My daughter have
her moon blood arrive.

Can she still go to a ball?

- Mm-hmm.
- Ah, good, so she...

We're able to do
a lot of things even though

we have womanly things
that we go through every...

moon time you're talking about.

We'd now like to invite
Sandra Jessica Parker Drummond

and her father,
Professor Phillip Drummond III,

for our traditional
father/daughter dance.

It's my moon blood.

It started?

Yes.

Fantastic!

Now we can wow them...

with our traditional
fertility dance!

Um, can you play...

I will never get to live in a
golden cage like Melania!

Why do American men hate me?

Come in.

Really?

Do you mean it, Daddy?

- Thank you so much, Daddy.
- Okay.

Tutar!

I've got great news!

Pence is speaking nearby.

We'll gift you today.

- But I am not ready yet.
- Of course you're ready!

You are ready
for the golden cage!

Okay, Daddy!

Finally the time had come
to deliver my daughter

to the vice pussy-grabber.

But how would I slip in

to this conference
of Republicans unnoticed?

Suddenly, I had an idea.

I'm Stephen Miller.
Sorry I'm late.

I needed to get Tutar to Pence,

the only man
that Trump would trust.

But who does Pence trust?

I knew the disguise
I had to use.

Tutar, it's me.

- Huh? Oh.
- Hop on! We are running late.

I know you're ready
to demonstrate how much

you appreciate everything
he does for our country.

And it's my honor
to introduce to you

the vice president
of the United States,

Michael R. Pence.

As of today,

we have 15 cases of coronavirus

that have been detected
in the United States

with only one new case detected
in the last two weeks.

And while the risk
to the American public

remains low, as the president
said yesterday,

"We're ready.
We're ready for anything."

- It's actually on the verge...
- Michael Pen-is!

Michael Pen-is!
I brought a girl for you!

Don't worry,
I won't get jealous!

She not Ivanka.

Get out!

Pussy Hound Pen-is!

You just hit me, man.
You just hit me.

Don't punch me.

Mike, help me!

Mike, you're fired!

Four more years!

Four more years!
Four more years!

Four more years!

Four more years!

- A hundred more years!
- Four more years!

If you release me,
I'll give you my Klan robes.

- Don't stop. Keep moving.
- How about my wig?

Don't stop. Keep moving.

The United States Senate
cleared our president on all...

Please make faxy-meal of this.

"Premier Nazarbayev,
I have unfortunate news.

"Michael Pence did not
accept her as a gift.

Yours, Borat."

- And then put sad face.
- "Sad face."

Okay.

"Return immediately
to die in excruciating pain.

"You will be tied to two cows
who will face Uzbeks

"with turnips
inserted in their assholes.

"Uzbeks will be enticed away
with money and cows will follow

to eat turnips,
ripping you apart."

What's the matter, Daddy?

Nothing.

Will they hurt you?

Of course not.

Could I be a gift
to this friend of Trump instead?

No, he's in jail.

What about this one?

In jail too.

Him?

Arrested.

Him?

House arrest.

What about Rudolph Giuliani?

What he say?

"If you can deliver her to Rudy,

you will live."

High five!

- You're not gonna be killed.
- I love you.

Donald Trump is a man with
a big heart who loves people...

All people,

from the top to the bottom,
from the middle to the side!

Rudolph was McDonald's
best buddy in whole world,

and also very dignified
statesman of the highest order.

You don't know what
you're talking about, idiot.

- Shut up, moron. Shut up.
- Rudy. Rudy. Okay.

This would not be easy.

Luckily, I discover
his preference for womens

with ample
cheese-producing capacity.

I take my daughter
to man who can help.

After me.

I want very much

her to be attract to...
top-level guy.

Well, what I would suggest is
that we do some simple things.

Like a little r-refinement
of the nose.

What's wrong with my nose?

Do I look like a Jew?

No, ma'am. Not at all.

- Oh, that...
- Because a Jew...

- Yeah, she was, uh, very sad.
- A Jew...

A Jew would be like this.

Jew nose more out,

out a bit more, down here,

then down a bit here,

bump, bump, in.

It can be that bad, yes.

- Mm.
- Then, if you like,

what I would suggest

is that maybe we put
some breast implants.

And what it mean, "breast"?

- The-the breast. Titty.
- Mm.

Titty?

- Titty.
- Titty?

Titty.

- Titty?
- Titty.

- Titty.
- Or breast.

I want a man who wants
to make a sex attack on me.

Mm-hmm.

I think that would be most men.

Would you make a sex attack
with me?

Uh...

if your father was not here.

- Ooh.
- Ah!

- Hello.
- Hello.

So, altogether,
the total is $21,751.

How much?

$21,751.

- Tenge or dollar?
- Dollars.

Okay.

- With the, uh, saline implant...
- Yes?

Um, could you take off
some money if instead, uh,

you use potatoes?

- Uh, we cannot use potatoes.
- Why not?

Because potatoes aren't sterile.

This a very good potato.

But you cannot take a potato

- and put it in the body.
- Expensive one.

What if we allow, uh, perverts
in to watch the surgery?

Can we have reduction?

You can keep the money
that they pay you.

Uh, absolutely not.

The more people you bring in,
the more germs come in.

You cannot do that.

The perverts have to be
medical personnel.

They have to be
either a doctor or a nurse.

I want to make sure that, uh,

the man I give her to
is very happy

- and will not return her.
- Okay.

So the quality
must be tip-top. Will it be?

It will be tip-top.

It'll be more than tip-top.

- Are you able to pay this amount? Yes?
- Yes, I have.

Okay. Thank you.

One, two,

three, four, five, six, seven...

Ooh.

That's a lot of money,
but worth it.

So after you give me
as a gift...

...you will leave me?

Of course.

I will go home and you
will have new owner.

So I will never see you again?

You expected me to come
live with you both?

No... of course not.

Hmm.

The manual would forbid it.

You have, uh, sufficient?

Uh, no, I'm short $72.

And if we do not get to this,

- you cannot make the surgery anyway?
- Right.

And the surgery
will start at 6:00 p.m.

I only have 24 hours
to get you $72?

Well, yes.

We better get to work.

To pay for new chests,
I would need employment.

So, next day,

I leave my daughter with babysitter.

Hello.

Uh, what your name?

- Jeanise.
- Jeanise. Nice meet you.

Nice meeting you.

So what is that, like, a treat?

Treat, uh, yeah.

Uh, when she perform
a command correctly,

click, you give her a treat.

Um... Oh. Okay.

This is her ball.

Um, it make her feel safe.

Uh, for water, uh,
please use this.

Uh, we drink water
out of a glass.

Uh, the strings in her brain

might break
if you try to teach her,

so be careful, please.

You said it's her strings
in her brain might break?

They can be strain
and sometimes pop.

One of them already...

she saw something and, uh,
it was complicate for her,

and I hear the noise. "Ding."

Oh, my God. Really.

See you later.

Don't leave me here.

See you later
at the titty doctor.

All right.

The mutilations
would commence in five hours.

Luckily, I get hired for job.

What would you like?
I can, um...

take it all off?

Keep it where it's, you know...

Above the ears is fine.

- Want me shave your arms?
- No.

- No?
- No. You're not gonna shave my hair off, are you?

- No, no, no.
- Okay.

Uh, I am good, though.
I have done, um...

But you do
mostly animals, though, right?

Uh, no.

Uh, this, uh, Billy Sexcrime
before they remove his chram.

I remove his pubis.
I was given honor.

Oh, that's great.

To your satisfaction, sir?

That's fine.

That's fine.

That's fine.

What's in the book?

This is our book.

Can I read you a story?

- You can't read.
- I can read.

- Are you a man?
- No, I'm not a man.

Show me your putka.

I'm not showing you anything.
But I'm a woman.

This... is my favorite.

"The true story of Nada..."

- Nadia Akatov.
- Okay.

"...who once caught
a terrible disease

"called curiosity.

"It cause her one night to

touch her... vagine?"

Oh, oh, oh, oh.

"Her vagine became very angry...

...and bit her hand."

- You okay?
- Yes.

- It's just a story?
- Yes.

- You want me to...
- But it's a true story.

- It's a true story?
- Yes.

"Then suck all of her insides...

...where she remains
to this day."

Yes.

This is not a true story.

- Okay?
- It is a true story.

No, no, it's not a true story.

Your vagine cannot bite.

It cannot suck your arms
to a ball.

It can't do that.

But my tatti told me that.

- Okay.
- He tell me the truth.

I mean, I understand
what you're saying,

- that your daddy told you that.
- Yes.

But that's not the real world.

- Are you touch your vagine?
- Who, me?

- Yes.
- Have I ever touched it?

- Yes.
- Yes.

- No.
- Yes.

- You can't touch your...
- And I... Yes, and I'm here.

Didn't n-nothing ate me up.

See, I'm here.

You ready?

What are you doing?

We're driving.

Women can drive.

Don't cry.

Don't cry. Don't cry.

- It's okay.
- You can't drive!

You can't drive!

- I can drive. I can.
- You can't drive!

- It's impossible woman to drive!
- No, no.

- This is...
- No, no, no!

- You are a man dressed like a woman.
- No. No.

Help me!

It's a woman driving the car!

May I?

Thank you.

Great success! I had the money.

It was time for the surgeon
to insert Tutar's potatoes.

Did you have a good time?

- Yes.
- I'm glad.

What you finna do?

I will get the surgery
so my daddy

can give me as a present
for this American man.

What kind of surgery?

I will have the biggest titties
in the whole world.

Okay, so you're getting
plastic surgery at 15.

Yes.

- When you getting that done?
- Now.

- Now?
- Yes.

Well, do you want that?

Seriously.

No, you don't,
'cause you would've said yes.

I excite.

You excite, but that's not
what you want.

Okay, I don't think
you need to do that.

'Cause you're pretty
and you're young.

And any man should
like you as you are.

You shouldn't want to be
anybody else but yourself.

But if I have enormous titties,

I don't have to learn
how to swim.

Your-your titties will not
keep you from drowning.

You will still have to
learn how to swim.

They will protect me.

How will they protect you?
They titties.

Titties are not gonna
keep you out the water.

You are pretty.
You're a pretty...

Girl, look at yourself.

Look. Look.

You see yourself?

Huh?

Yes, you are beautiful.

So I don't see anything
on your body or on your face

that need to change.

I want you to be happy.

But I wish you would
just think about

some of the stuff I said.

Think about going to school.

Use your brain, 'cause
your daddy is a liar, okay?

My daddy's the smartest person
in the whole flat world.

Mm, I can't, I can't say
nothing about that,

but you got a big brain
up there, so use it.

Just think.

'Cause I don't think
you need to change.

I will think about it.

Hey, that's all I want.
That's all I want.

I want you to think about it.

That's all I want for you,
just to think about it.

Another woman.

- Adam Schiff.
- Oh, my God. He's so...

What a loser.

So what's your name?

I'm Tutar.

- Really?
- Nice to meet you, Tutar.

Nice meet you.

Do you drive a car?

- Yes.
- Oh, absolutely.

- Sure.
- More than one.

- More than one.
- Well, not at the same time.

- What?!
- We drive a car. We own cars.

So the mans sometimes tell lies?

Yes. A-A lot.

Hmm.

We-We've seen a dramatic drop

in having children
produced within wedlock.

It's a huge problem
in our society.

And I think part of that is
the decline of Christianity

in-in the United States.

- Can I say something?
- Uh...

- Yes.
- I want... Yes.

I want you to speak now.

I'd love for you to speak now.

- This important.
- Yes.

- Yeah, great.
- Yes.

Something really strange,
something wonderful

just happened to me.

And...

I go to the toilet,
and I put my index finger...

...and my-my middle finger
on my cunt.

And I found out
that I wasn't sucked in

and I wasn't eaten.

Womans, this place is amazing.

- No teeth at all.
- It has no what?

No teeth.

- Oh.
- No teeth.

It's so nice, so warm.

I will show you.

You move this way,
circle four time.

Then you move up and down,
and if it's not working,

you can use
this part of your hand.

And then you will feel
something like an explosion,

and then you will finish.

Come on.

Take your panties off,
everyone, please.

Do you touch your vagine?

Uh, it's something
we don't talk about in p-public.

Because of
the Nadia Akatov story?

No, no, no, no.

If that is a lie, what other
lies my daddy tell me?

So come with me.

Come with me.
Let's run away from our daddies.

Let's go and put
our hands together

and touch our vagines.

And we're so glad you're here.
Thank you.

Someone call her an Uber.

Tutar!

Tutar. Tutar.

You went to the wrong address!

It's over there.

- I did not.
- Come on.

It's titty time.

- No, I'm not doing it.
- Why not?

Because I'm beautiful as I am,

and I don't need to be given
as a gift to a man

to be worth something.

Yes, you do.
It says so in the book.

The Nadia Akatov story is a lie.

- Not a lie. It true.
- It is a lie.

- I did it.
- What?

How did you escape?
Out of your asshole?

No. And the rest of the book
is also a lie.

Look there.
It's a woman driving a car.

That is not a woman.
That is Dog the Bounty Hunter.

This manual is full of lies.

I found a new book
which only tells the truth.

It's called Facebook.

I learn so many facts there.

Like our nation's
proudest moment,

the Holocaust, never happened.

- How dare you say that?
- Look.

No.

See?

- I'm leaving.
- No, you don't.

Wh-Who will lock
your cage at night?

I can do anything a man can do.

- No, you cannot.
- I can even become a journalist,

and probably
a better one than you,

Borat Margaret Sagdiyev!

Who told you
my middle name was Margaret?!

Everyone you know!

You will never understand
anything!

I understand everything!

You want this book?

- Hey!
- Take it. I hate it.

And I hate you.

And I will never see you again.

Oh, and by the way,
I ate the monkey.

He didn't eat himself.

You murderer!

He was a genius!

Go.

Come out now.
One, two... No, you don't.

No!

Tutar!

My mission had fail, and I had
learned that the Holocaust

was nothing but a fairy tale.

Rather than return
to Kazakhstan to be execute,

I decide to take my own life.

Since I did not have money
to buy a gun,

I went to the nearest synagogue

to wait for
the next mass shooting,

disguised as a typical Jew.

- Hello.
- Uh, Jang-shalom.

Are you Jew?

Yeah, I'm Jewish, yeah.

Very nice weather, uh,
we have been controlling.

You are Jewish?

Um... y-yes.

No, you are not Jewish.

Listen, don't-don't be
afraid of me.

But please don't eat me alive.

Uh, do I look like I eat people?

- Uh...
- I'm a old, good woman.

Yes.

- Look at me. I'm Jewish.
- Yeah.

Do I have a long nose?

- Look at me.
- No.

You can touch my nose.

- What?
- Look at me.

You see? Is it long?

- No, it's a small one.
- Exactly like yours.

Look at Doris.

Does she have a long nose?

A little bit bigger
than yours.

So we are normal,
exactly like you.

Okay, then, use your venom
on me and finish me.

I have... I am very depress.

Can I give you a hug?

- Don't-don't.
- Don't kill me.

I will not kill you.

Let me give you a kiss.

You see? I give you a kiss,
and you are still alive.

For now I am, but maybe
the venom take longer.

Oh, come on. You will be okay.

I'm hungry.

- You are hungry?
- Yes.

- Good, huh?
- Very good.

- Very good, huh?
- Mmm.

I want to hear your story,
my dear.

This is the worst story

that ever happened
to any human being...

or Jew.

I came here on a simple mission
to save my country by delivering

our number one televiski star
Johnny the Monkey

as a gift to Michael Pence.

And I'm sure you've figured out
what happen next.

My daughter had smuggled herself
into the crate,

and yes, you got it,
she'd eaten the monkey.

Although I believe
he probably eat himself.

There are bad stories out there.

Listen, you want
to hear my story,

- when I was a little child?
- Yes, what is your story?

I was in the Holocaust.
You see me?

I was in the Holocaust.

- The Holocaust? You were in the...
- Yeah.

- I was...
- But the Hol... The Holocaust never happen.

But I saw it with my own eyes.

So the Holocaust...

- Happened.
- ...happen?

- Yes.
- Really?

- Really.
- It was not a fake?

No. No, my dear.

It wa... it really happened.

Thank you, Judith.
You made me so happy.

Thank you.

Thank you for giving me...

- Hope.
- ...faith and hope again.

Let's make I-love
instead of war.

Hold on.
One step at a time, Judith.

The Holocaust happen!

My culture was right!

I had to find
my daughter immediate

and deliver her to Giuliani.

I search in nearby village.

Tutar!

But for some reason,

- the streets were completely empty.
- Tutar!

Tutar!

Stop hiding!

Uh, hello. Jangshemash.

Where is everybody?

I do not see anybody
on the street.

That's... Everybody's at home.

They're telling them
to stay inside

so they don't spread this virus.

- Wh... There is a virus?
- Yes.

They're wanting everybody
to quarantine.

I do not have, uh,
nowhere else to go.

Could I stay your home?

This is it.

Come on in.

- You go ahead and come on in.
- Oh. Oh.

- Very nice. Yes?
- Well, hello.

- Yes.
- Yes.

Nice to meet you.

- Okay.
- Yes.

How long must we be stuck
in here?

Well, don't know for sure.

Till this COVID-19 thing passes.

What is more dangerous, this,
uh, virus or the Democrat?

- Democrats.
- Uh-huh.

I think, with the Democrats,

with Obama... and I think
it goes back to the Clintons...

When they were also in office.

This, uh, Clinton,
they make this plague?

- Yes. -JERRY: Yes.
- Mm. Not nice!

- Clintons are very evil.
- Extremely evil.

Supposedly,
they torture these kids.

- It gets their adrenaline flowing in their body.
- Mm-hmm.

Then they take that
out of their adren...

- Adrenal glands...
- Yeah.

...and then they drink
their blood

or that-that out of their...

- I've heard about things like that.
- Yeah.

Hillary Clinton drink
the, uh, blood of children?

- That's what we've heard.
- Yeah.

- I've heard.
- It's-it's been said.

- Yeah.
- Lucky for me,

I was taken in by two of
America's greatest scientists.

- What's up?
- I'm killing some of the viroos.

- No, you can't see the virus.
- No, it's still there.

This will kill the virus.

- That don't go in here.
- But this is for wash machine.

- What is that, the flashlight?
- I get you new flashlight.

Alexa, order three flashlights.

Ah.

- Oh...
- Oh, wait a minute.

- I don't think that's a flashlight.
- What is it?

- I didn't get the...
- I said "flashlight."

This is "Flesh."
It's called a Fleshlight.

You got it. We're done.

The Democrats,

they want to hurt
and destroy this country.

They are like demons.

- Yes.
- Yes.

We can't do to them
what we would like to do

because they-they unfortunately,
they have the same rights we do.

They should have
a bit less rights than you.

- Mm... -High five.
- They-they should.

Even though
the hoax virus lockdown

was stopping me
from finding Tutar,

Jim and Jerry found ways
to cheer me up.

I wrote a song
for you last night

so you can play for us.

It's called
"The Chinese Virus Song."

- "America, he did hate her."
- Yeah.

- There you go.
- Yeah, that's good.

That's good. I like that.

- That's good.
- Say, "You can put him in jail."

- Yep.
- Is he in jail?

No, but I hope so soon.

But I still
had not found Tutar.

And although my buddies
were highly knowledgeables,

they didn't know anything
about womens.

The women here have rights.

They can do whatever they want.

They have a brain
like we have a brain.

They can think and say the
same things we think and say.

When girl born, you are given

instruction booklet made by

- the Ministry of Agriculture and Wildlife.
- Um, yes, but...

The male baby come out walking.

Not the female.
The male baby come out...

- Look, you see.
- Uh, they don't.

This is supposed to be
the doctors,

with delivery of the baby?

Yes.

The doctor wait
for the baby to fall out,

and you have
two other doctor do this.

- Well, you don't need that. No.
- One in anoos, one in mouth.

What you have shown us
and explained to us,

- we're sitting here like, "What?"
- Yeah.

You were looking at this
and thinking, "What?"

- Yeah.
- It's a lie.

That's...
It's a conspiracy theory.

I was scared
that I would never find Tutar.

But then something amazings
happened while I was looking

for QAnon stories
with my buddies.

- Does this...
- Hold on. Whoa, whoa, whoa.

- Mm-hmm?
- Wait, wait, wait.

This look like Tutar.

Her hair different,
but this her, this Tutar.

Where are your pictures?

Can I see your pictures
of her, please?

Okay, just a minute.
You know what?

I'll be goddamned
if it isn't her.

It does look like it.

Screw me in the anoos, this her.

Join me again on Saturday.

I will be reporting live
from the state's

biggest anti-lockdown protest.

I got to get a pen
that fucking works here.

- "March..."
- "For Our Rights."

"...For Our Rights Rally."

- Saturday, June 27.
- That's tomorrow.

- What? It's tomorrow?
- It's tomorrow.

Please, please, can we go?

- Buddy, buddy, can we go?
- Listen, listen, listen.

Buddy, buddy, buddy. Please.

Can we go out of lockdown
and find her?

I would think so.

- But if she see me...
- I know, that's what I just said.

...then she will run
the moment she see my face.

Okay, you have to change
your appearance.

Do something different
with your hair...

- Yes.
- ...wear different clothes.

If I am disguise,
what is the one thing

that is irresistible
to all teenage girls?

Rock stars.

- What is it?
- What?

Onions.

- Onions?
- Onions.

We have onions.

- We have onions?!
- Yes.

- You have onions in this house?!
- Yes.

- I believe we do.
- Yes!

Thank you, buddy! I love you!
You are my best friend!

- Okay.
- Fuck the social distance.

We got to get up and fight
for this beautiful country,

the United States of America.

I don't see
very many masks out there.

That makes you, that makes you
instant criminals right now.

They want to throw you in jail

for what you're doing
right here, right now.

Do you understand that?

They're relying that you guys
continue to shut up

and sit in your house
like good little subjects.

We will not comply.

- Will not comply!
- Now you're talking!

I going to head up to the stage
to see where she is.

We got to get up
and fight, guys.

God bless each
and every single one of you.

All right, we got
some great music coming up.

Y'all ready?

Ladies and gentlemen,
please welcome your next act,

Country Steve.

Are you Country Steve?

Mm.

- You bet your asshole I am.
- Great.

- There he is.
- Oh, my gosh. Look at him.

He's doing it.

I can't believe he's doing it.

Do you know, um...

- B-A-A...
- Yeah, yeah, yeah.

Right.

Okay? B-A-A-D-E.

Uh...

I wrote this song
with my two best buddies.

Yeah, very nice.

Yes.

Let hear it.

Over there. She's over there.

Yes.

Okay, journalists.

Are we gonna inject them
with the Wuhan flu

or chop 'em up
like the Saudis do?

Okay, let's hear it.

Who wants to inject them
with the Wuhan flu?

Who wants to chop 'em up
like the Saudis do?

Um, he's been
doing a really good job.

And the-the coronavirus just
happened to come along and...

Excuse me. Can I talk to you?

He needs you to go back
to be with

a man from Washington, D.C.,

and if you do not do that,
they will kill him.

They're gonna take two cows,

and they're gonna
tie them to his...

Tie ropes to his legs.

And they're gonna
give them turnips,

and they're gonna pull him apart
by his legs.

That's how they're gonna
kill him.

What should we do
with scientists?

Let's hear it for
"feed them to the bears."

Yeah!

Let's hear it for
"gas them up like the Germans."

Okay, let's do "gas them up."

I will not talk with him.

But tell him that I will do it.

Your father wanted you to have
the book back.

Thank you very much.
My name Country Steve.

Tutar was going to give herself
to Rudolph Giuliani.

I had restored greatness
to Kazakhstan.

Hello. My name is Grace
Sagdiyev from Patriot's Report.

I would love to interview
your boss Rudy Giuliani.

It was time to return
to Kazakhstan as a hero.

Finally, I would get
my life back.

Yet something was missings.

Something precious
that I could never replace.

Hello.

I, uh, want my daughter
ball and chain, please.

Okay, well, can you step back?

'Cause you're too close to me.

Did you take the test?

To see if I, uh,
had the syphilis?

- Not syphilis.
- Ah, yes.

I had it 15 times.

Not... That's not good.

Okay, just stop right there.

- What?
- You have to stop right there.

- Stop here? Why?
- 'Cause we can talk better that way.

Can I have
my ball and chain, please?

- Are you finna put it back on her?
- No, of course not.

She, uh, luckily came
to her senses,

and she is, uh, about
to gift herself to a new owner.

She will be the happiest woman
in the world, uh,

just like, uh, Melania.

Can I have my...

Yes, I'm finna get
your ball and chain

- for you.
- Thank you.

You're welcome.

Yes, that's my girl's.

Here you go.

- What is it?
- That's hers.

One more thing that she left.

I have a pain
in my, uh, titties.

Maybe because you're giving away
your baby.

Why would that make
my chest hurt?

- It should.
- Why?

You're giving a little girl
to a old man.

That should make
your chest hurt.

It should make your heart hurt.

Don't you love her?

You care for her?

- You care?
- Yes.

Okay.

So, shouldn't she make
the decision

on who she marries?

But there is only, uh,
two hours left

before she will meet
with this man.

That's two hours.

- You got two hours to stop it.
- Yes.

Find your baby and tell her
she don't have to do that.

Thank you so much.

- Okay, I will go.
- Okay.

Oh, one last thing.

Will you be my new Black wife?

No, sir, I cannot be
your new Black wife.

Okay.

As a woman, you have to be

kind of weak.

No more strong.
We can't be strong anymore.

- Nice to meet you, my dear.
- Nice to meet you.

- You're one of my greatest heroes.
- Oh, that's so nice.

- Thank you. Thank you.
- Yes.

I will try my best,

but because I am
super excited and nervous...

Well, you relax. I'll relax.

You want me
to ask you questions?

- I'll relax you, okay?
- Yes.

Thank you. I feel like
I'm living in a fairy tale.

Come here.

You're gonna do great, okay?

- Where are you going?
- Upstairs.

No, you are not going up there.

But I must defend my daughter's
vagine from America's mayor.

Let me see your I.D.!!

So, please take this.

It used to belong to my father,
but I think you should keep it.

It... Whoa. My God.

That's wonderful
that you gave this to me.

So, uh...

Well, thank you, my dear.

Get out or I'm calling
the police!

Time running out.

Please. His old chram
will soon be turgid.

A little bit about China.

As an expert
of national security,

what do you think
we can do going forward

to prevent this
for happening again?

W-Well, China manufactured
the virus and let it out.

And they deliberately spread it
all around the world.

- I don't think anybody was eating bats.
- Yeah.

- Did you ever have a bat?
- Oh, no.

I don't think
I will ever...

Eat a bat.

If you eat a bat with me.

- Okay, I will. I'll eat a bat with you.
- Can we try?

You're so funny.

Uh, in the panty-house.
Uh, ooh.

So, probably
in a rough estimate,

how many lives
President Trump saved?

I'd say he's saved
a million lives.

There would've been a million
more had he, had he waited

- that month, the way the Democrats would've done.
- Yeah.

Uh, but he acted swiftly,

he acted before anybod...
In fact,

even his own,
even his own advisors...

- some of them advised him not to do it.
- Really?

Yeah.

I'm good. Oh, here,
a little bit does some good?

- Here you go.
- Yeah. It's always good.

Never been in front
of the camera.

I've always been
behind of the camera,

but today,
something with this...

Uh, I think you're gonna
look pretty good.

We will see.

Yeah, you're gonna look
pretty good.

- But it's because of you.
- Well, thank you.

I really feel like Melania
right now.

Well, you're doing very well.

So I think you're gonna
look pretty...

Sorry to interrupt, Mayor.

Um, sound problem.

I think we cancel interview.

Mm-hmm?

- Uh, I don't think we need, uh... because...
- Yeah.

- I-I already checked...
- I'll just check your mic.

Okay.

- Is that better?
- Yeah, that's b-better.

Let me just listen in
for a minute.

Yeah.

Is she asking
too many questions?

No, she's doing great.

She'd make a very nagging wife.

No!

If I were you, I would stick
to marrying your cousins.

Let me check the sound.

Can I check the sound?

Sure.

Mr. Mayor,
c-can you say something?

Can you say something?

- Yes, I'm fine.
- Yeah, the sound is perfect.

- It's probably better if I stay and...
- Please, please I-leave.

No, no, please.
If I need you, I will call you.

- You sure?
- You will be in the lobby, right?

Don't do it.

What? That's what you want.

But it's not what you want.

But I also don't want you
to die.

Now go! Go.

- What if I take your place and he makes sexy time with me?
- No.

Leave.

- I'm so sorry. That's horrible.
- Just relax. Sit down.

Sit, sit, sit, sit. Okay.

I'm so sorry for that.

Really, I apologize.

Apology accepted. No problem.

- Okay.
- Okay?

Yeah. Uh, thank you again
for giving me this time.

Shall we have a drink
in the bedroom?

- Come here. Come here.
- What?

Hold up.

- There you go, my dear.
- Okay.

Yeah, you're-you're good.

You can give me your
phone number and your address.

- Should we slip your jacket?
- Okay.

Put down your chram!

Oh!

She 15. She too old for you.

Why are you dressed like this?

She my daughter.
Please, take me instead.

- Take my anoos. -Don't take him.
- I don't want you.

No, no, take my anoos.
Do not have her.

I'm better than him.

No, I better.
My back pussy very tight.

No, please, my front anoos.

Please, I will let you
enjoy my chram in your mouth.

No, I better!

I can...
I would love to marry you.

I was in prison many years,

so I have techniques
with my mouth.

Hello? What's going on here?
Look at this guy.

I forbid this union.

Rudy, Trump will be disappoint.

You are leaving hotel
without golden shower.

That one was close.

You know what I think?

I think you did this because

you love me
as much as your sons.

No.

More.

So much more.

What shall we do?

You stay here.

I will go home.

To be executed.

- I'm coming with you.
- No, no.

You want to live in a cage?

I forbid it.

I get to choose.

Okay.

This is my final
Will and Testament.

To my daughter,
I leave everything...

One anti-semitic chocolate cake,

also three...

...Fleshlights.

Stop.

We're not going to kill you.

But I failed my mission.

It's okay. People make mistakes.

Tatti?

I a total failures.

My whole world fall to pieces.

- They make this plague?
- Yes.

And they deliberately spread it

all around the world.

Two Sagdiyev.

I believe it comes
out of that laboratory.

I don't think anybody
was eating bats.

- Did you ever eat a bat?
- Oh, no. -

Our Premier Nazarbayev,
he grab a lot.

He can do whatever
he wants, right?

He sent you
a bunch of angry faces.

I go to America!

So, what if they
spread it all around the world?

The Wuhan flu.

Wawaweewa!

You the Forrest the Gumps!

- Hi.
- Please, uh, make autograph?

Sure.

- How do you spell your name?
- Uh, B...

We have 15 cases of coronavirus.

We're ready.
We're ready for anything.

Why, uh, you wear mask?

'Cause of

the virus that's going around.

It's gone worldwide.
It's all around the world.

It's in the air.
It's everywhere.

And then you get sick.

I'm good.

"Stupid foreign reporter."

You will die.

Wawaweewa.

STOP!

You used me to spread the virus
around the world.

Yes I did.

And our plan worked brilliantly.

We got our revenge on the world
for them laughing on us.

Did you hear that, Brian?

- Yes, sir.
- If anything happens to me,

forward this to my best
boyfriends, Jim and Jerry.

What is that magical calculator?

It's called a phone.

Who is that?

America's Minister
of Technology.

His name, Brian.

His twin brother live
inside my phone.

Say jangshemash, Brian.

Hello. This is Brian.

I just recorded you talking.

Ok...

What do you two want...

to keep your mouths shut?

I have some ideas.

Jangshemash!
Kazakhstan now feminist nation.

Like US&A and Saudi Arabia.

Bride exports
declared misogynist,

so we now traffic grooms.

We use my iPhone 4's hot spot

and steal password
from assholes Uzbekistan.

Now we are part
of the global community,

influencing elections
around the world.

Kazakhstan now center
of COVID-safe fashion.

We invent the maskini!

Our people are kept healthy

with daily hygienic
temperature checks.

Our fatality rate plummet
to 92%.

Best of all, I am reinstate

as number-four journalist
in all of Kazakhstan.

Who number three?

Tutar Sagdiyev.

Why not?

May the patriarchy go to hells.

- Nice.
- No, "ni-i-ice."

Don't mansplain to me.

Feminists.

My visit to US&A make me realize

that greatest threat
to Kazakhstan

is no longer the Jew.

It is, in fact, the Yankee.

Jangshemash.

Welcome to the first ever

Running of the American.

They're starting to run!

Here comes the American!

Oh no! He's got the fever!

He's not wearing a mask.

BORAT and TUTAR:
Oh!

Here comes Karen!

She's being a little bit racist!

She's going to cough.

Here comes
the chief medical expert!

And he's got a vaccine!

Everybody's going to be saved!

Uh oh

She's been to Walmart,
she's got her AR-15.

Karen is not happy.

Oh no, she's killed Fauci!

The Americans are victorious

in their battle against science.

For Kazakhstan TV,

this is Tutar Sagdiyev...

and Borat Margaret Sagdiyev.

Chenquieh.

You were amazing!