Original subtitles

♪♪

CHECK IT OUT, GUYS.

LOOK WHO'S GONNA BE A HIGH SCHOOL GRADUATE.

PROVED YOU WRONG, HUH, MR. KOLB?

I GUESS PIGS CAN FLY.

WELL, THE LOOK WORKS FOR YOU, BUDDY.

UGH. SO DRAB.

I TOOK THE LIBERTY OF MAKING A FEW CHANGES TO MINE.

ME TOO. FOR OUT OF TOWNERS THAT CAN'T MAKE IT,

I'LL BE LIVE STREAMING THE WHOLE CEREMONY...

FROM MY TASSEL CAM.

EXTREME GRADUATION.

NOSTRIL ZOOM.

OH, SNOT BOULDER AHEAD.

WANT ME TO GET THAT FOR YOU?

UH, NO, THANKS, DEZ.

THIS IS UNBELIEVABLE.

THEY WON'T LET ME PICK UP MY CAP AND GOWN.

APPARENTLY I HAVE AN OVERDUE LIBRARY BOOK

FROM FRESHMAN YEAR THAT I NEVER RETURNED.

SO RETURN IT?

I DON'T KNOW WHERE IT IS.

IT'S BEEN FOUR YEARS.

IF I DON'T RETURN THAT BOOK,

THEY WON'T LET ME PARTICIPATE IN THE GRADUATION CEREMONY.

AND I'M SUPPOSED TO GIVE THE BIGGEST SPEECH OF MY LIFE

IN FRONT OF ALL OF MY FRIENDS AND FAMILY

LEAVING A LEGACY THAT WILL PAVE MY WAY

TO BEING PRESIDENT OF THE UNITED STATES OF AMERICA!

EXTREME LOSER CAM.

(theme music playing)

♪ WHEN THE CROWD WANTS MORE I BRING ON THE THUNDER ♪

♪ 'CAUSE YOU'VE GOT MY BACK AND I'M NOT GOING UNDER ♪

♪ YOU'RE MY POINT, YOU'RE MY GUARD, YOU'RE THE PERFECT CHORD ♪

♪ AND I SEE OUR NAMES TOGETHER ON EVERY BILLBOARD ♪

♪ WE'RE HEADED FOR THE TOP, WE'VE GOT IT ON LOCK ♪

♪ WE'LL MAKE 'EM SAY HEY ♪

♪ AND WE'LL KEEP ROCKIN' ♪

♪ OH, THERE'S NO WAY I CAN MAKE IT WITHOUT YA ♪

♪ DO IT WITHOUT YA, BE HERE WITHOUT YA ♪

♪ IT'S NO FUN WHEN YOU'RE DOING IT SOLO ♪

♪ WITH YOU IT'S LIKE, "WHOA" ♪

♪ YEAH, AND I KNOW ♪

♪ I OWN THIS DREAM ♪

♪ 'CAUSE I GOT YOU WITH ME ♪

♪ THERE'S NO WAY I CAN MAKE IT WITHOUT YA ♪

♪ DO IT WITHOUT YA, BE HERE WITHOUT YA. ♪

-TRISH! -AAH!

X PLUS Y EQUALS Y TIMES Q.

WAIT. WHAT TIME IS IT?

IS ALGEBRA OVER?

YEAH. ABOUT THREE HOURS AGO.

THE YEARBOOK COMMITTEE'S ABOUT TO MEET.

WANNA SEE THE LAYOUT?

NOT SO FAST, RED.

(dramatic guitar playing)

DID YOU CLEAR THAT WITH THE REST OF THE YEARBOOK COMMITTEE?

I.E.,

ME?

CHUCK?

YOU TWO ARE IN THE COMMITTEE TOGETHER?

WE PUT ASIDE OUR DIFFERENCES

IN THE INTEREST OF CREATING A GREAT YEARBOOK.

YEAH.

I DECIDED TO BE THE BETTER MAN.

ACTUALLY,

I'M THE BETTER BETTER MAN.

OH, YEAH?

WELL, I'M SO MUCH BETTER

THAT INSTEAD OF A BEST MAN AT A WEDDING,

THEY HAVE A CHUCK MAN.

OH, YEAH?

I'M SO MUCH BETTER,

THAT INSTEAD OF A DOG WINNING "BEST IN SHOW",

THEY WIN "DEZ IN SHOW."

OH, YEAH?

WELL, I'M SO MUCH BETTER,

THAT INSTEAD OF B.F.F.s,

THEY HAVE C.F.F.s,

CHUCK FRIENDS FOREVER.

I'LL SETTLE THIS.

YOU'RE BOTH THE WORST.

LET ME SEE THIS YEARBOOK LAYOUT.

OTHER PEOPLE,

OTHER PEOPLE,

NOT ME.

HEY.

THERE'S ONLY ONE PICTURE OF ME

IN THE ENTIRE ACTIVITIES SECTION.

AND I'M NAPPING.

WELL, IT IS YOUR FAVORITE ACTIVITY.

I SHOULD BE ALL OVER THIS YEARBOOK.

YOU GUYS ARE GONNA HAVE TO TAKE A BUNCH OF NEW PICTURES OF ME.

OKAY.

BUT I GOTTA WARN YOU,

THE LADIES WHO POSE FOR ME

OFTEN FALL MADLY IN LOVE WITH ME.

YEAH, I'LL TAKE MY CHANCES.

OH, HEY, ALLY.

IS THAT THAT LIBRARY BOOK YOU WERE LOOKING FOR?

NO, BUT I FIGURED OUT WHAT HAPPENED TO IT.

THIS IS MY DAILY PLANNER FROM FRESHMAN YEAR.

HEY, IT'S MY NAME.

AWW, AND IT HAS A LITTLE STAR NEXT TO IT.

THAT'S AN ASTERISK.

IT CORRESPONDS TO THIS NOTE AT THE BOTTOM

THAT SAYS YOU BORROWED THE LIBRARY BOOK I'M MISSING.

WHY WOULD I BORROW SOME BOOK ON MEDIEVAL HISTORY?

WAIT, WHY WOULD I BORROW A BOOK?

IT WAS FOR A CLASS.

I LENT IT TO YOU

AND YOU NEVER RETURNED IT.

YOU HAVE TO FIND IT OR I WON'T BE ABLE TO GO TO GRADUATION.

YOU KNOW, ALLY,

THIS JUST PROVES ONCE AGAIN

NOTHING GOOD EVER COMES FROM READING.

JUST FIND IT!

GO! GO GO GO GO GO!

DEZ, I SEARCHED MY WHOLE HOUSE

AND ALLY'S BOOK ISN'T THERE.

BUT I DID FIND THIS IN THE LOST AND FOUND.

IT'S MY OLD BACKPACK FROM FRESHMAN YEAR.

EW.

MY OLD LUNCH FROM FRESHMAN YEAR.

OOH, GREEN FLAVORED DONUT.

I LOVE VINTAGE FOOD.

THIS IS THE BACKPACK I HAD WHEN I BORROWED ALLY'S BOOK.

IT HAS TO BE IN HERE.

ARE DONUTS SUPPOSED TO HAVE TAILS?

HAIRSPRAY, HAIR GEL, HAIR MOUSSE,

HAIRBRUSH.

OH MAN, NO BOOK!

ALLY'S GONNA KILL ME!

OOH, CAN I HAVE THAT HAIR BRUSH?

AUSTIN, THERE YOU ARE.

PLEASE TELL ME YOU FOUND THE BOOK.

UHH...

AS A MATTER OF FACT,

I DID FIND YOUR BOOK.

IT WAS IN THIS OLD BACKPACK.

OH, THAT IS GREAT.

WHAT A RELIEF.

I WAS SO WORRIED THAT YOU WOULDN'T FIND IT

AND MY GRADUATION WOULD BE RUINED.

YEAH, THAT WOULD BE TERRIBLE.

SO GIVE ME THE BOOK, AND I'LL GO RETURN IT.

YOU CAN'T DO THAT BECAUSE...

I ALREADY RETURNED IT FOR YOU.

OH.

THANK YOU. YOU'RE THE BEST.

WELL, I GUESS I CAN GO PICK UP MY CAP AND GOWN NOW.

YOU CAN'T DO THAT EITHER

BECAUSE I...

ALSO PICKED THAT UP FOR YOU.

IT LOOKS KIND OF BIG.

WELL, IT WAS THE LAST ONE.

REALLY? WHEN I WAS THERE THEY HAD HUNDREDS--

THE LAST ONE.

THAT'S OKAY.

I AM JUST HAPPY TO HAVE IT.

-(sighs) -AUSTIN.

I CAN'T BELIEVE YOU WOULD LIE TO ME LIKE THAT.

YOU TOLD ME YOU DIDN'T FIND ALLY'S BOOK.

I DIDN'T. I WAS LYING TO ALLY.

I COULDN'T TELL HER THE TRUTH.

OH, I CAN.

-ALLY! -SHH!

I HAVE A PLAN TO GET THE BOOK.

I'LL JUST ORDER ANOTHER COPY ONLINE.

OKAY, HERE IT IS.

"OUT OF PRINT"?

OH NO, THERE ARE NO COPIES AVAILABLE.

HEY, IT'S OKAY, BUDDY.

YOU'RE STILL YOUNG AND GOOD-LOOKING.

WHAT DOES THAT HAVE TO DO WITH GETTING THE BOOK?

NOTHING. IT JUST MEANS YOU CAN GET A NEW GIRLFRIEND WHEN ALLY DUMPS YOU.

DEZ, GREAT NEWS.

SOMEONE'S AUCTIONING A COPY OF ALLY'S MISSING LIBRARY BOOK.

OOH, LOOK! THEY'RE ALSO SELLING AN ORIGINAL MY TINY TIGER FIGURINE.

OH, I LOVE THIS ONE.

IT'S RAINBOW ROAR. (roars)

I'M GONNA PUT IN A BID.

DEZ!

I HAVE TO KEEP AN EYE ON THE AUCTION

TO MAKE SURE NO ONE OUTBIDS ME AT THE LAST MINUTE.

BESIDES,

RAINBOW ROAR IS LAME.

EVERYONE KNOWS BENGAL BEAUTY'S THE BEST.

THAT'S YOUR OPINION.

ANYWAY, I'VE GOT TO FINISH SETTING UP THE GREEN SCREEN.

CHUCK AND I ARE SHOOTING SOME YEARBOOK PHOTOS FOR TRISH.

SHE WANTS IT TO LOOK LIKE SHE'S ON ALL THE SCHOOL TEAMS.

GUESS WHO'S ON THE TENNIS TEAM.

AND EVERY OTHER TEAM.

TRISH, WHY DO YOU EVEN CARE IF YOU'RE ON A SPORTS TEAM?

I'M GONNA SHOW THIS YEARBOOK TO MY KIDS SOMEDAY.

AND I DON'T WANT THEM TO THINK I WAS SOME

LAZY SLACKER THAT DIDN'T PARTICIPATE IN ANYTHING.

SO YOU'RE GONNA LIE TO THEM?

YEAH.

YOU LIE ABOUT YOUR MISTAKES

SO YOUR CHILDREN DON'T MAKE THE SAME ONES.

AT LEAST THAT'S WHAT MY DAD SAID.

THOUGH HE COULD HAVE BEEN LYING.

OKAY. ENOUGH CHIT-CHAT.

SWING THAT RACKET, TRISHY-KINS.

GOOD, GOOD.

GAME, SET,

BEAUTIFUL.

(chanting) TWO, FOUR, SIX, EIGHT,

CHUCK IS MAKING YOU LOOK GREAT.

HOP FOR ME, SNOW BUNNY.

WE LIVE IN MIAMI.

WE DON'T HAVE A SKI TEAM.

WE DO NOW.

THAT HAT LOOKS ADORABLE ON HER.

IN THE INTEREST OF KEEPING THIS PROFESSIONAL,

I HAVE TO ASK,

ARE YOU LOVING ON ME YET?

IF I WAS IN LOVE WITH YOU,

WOULD I FEEL LIKE THROWING UP RIGHT NOW?

POSSIBLY.

EVERY LADY REACTS DIFFERENTLY.

15 MORE SECONDS AND THE BOOK IS MINE.

OKAY, NOW LET ME SEE YOU THROW THE WINNING TOUCHDOWN PASS.

10, NINE--

OH NO, SOMEONE JUST OUTBID ME.

GO LONG!

DEZ!

WHAT DID YOU JUST DO?

YOU JUST MADE ME LOSE THE AUCTION.

AND MY COMPUTER'S NOT WORKING.

SORRY. I'LL BUY YOU A NEW COMPUTER ONLINE.

YOUR COMPUTER'S NOT WORKING.

I DID IT. I GOT IT. I GOT THE BOOK.

HOW? I THOUGHT YOU LOST THE AUCTION.

I DID. BUT THEN I STARTED CALLING RARE BOOK SELLERS

ALL OVER FLORIDA,

AND I FINALLY FOUND A COPY IN TALLAHASSEE.

TOOK ME 12 HOURS TO DRIVE THERE AND BACK.

NOT INCLUDING THE 45 MINUTE DETOUR I MADE

TO SEE THE WORLD'S LARGEST PAPER CLIP.

OOH. WAS IT COOL?

YEAH.

AND THE GIFT SHOP WAS THE BEST PART.

THEY SELL THESE MINI WORLD'S LARGEST PAPER CLIPS,

AND IT WAS ONLY 25 BUCKS.

AWW.

SO MUCH COOLER THAN A REGULAR PAPER CLIP.

ANYWAY, NOW I JUST NEED TO RETURN THIS BOOK

TO THE LIBRARY BEFORE ALLY FINDS OUT.

BEFORE ALLY FINDS OUT WHAT?

UH...

HEY, ALLY.

I JUST DIDN'T WANT YOU TO FIND OUT

THAT I...

GOT YOU A REALLY GREAT GRADUATION PRESENT.

OH, THAT IS SO SWEET.

WAIT, WE'RE BUYING EACH OTHER GIFTS NOW?

HEY, WHO WANTS TO HEAR ME REHEARSE MY SPEECH?

OOH, DOES IT HAVE A LOT OF WORDS IN IT?

'CAUSE IF SO, NO.

OKAY.

AUSTIN WILL LISTEN TO IT THEN.

YOU READY, TRISH?

HEY, WHICH DO YOU THINK BRINGS OUT MY EYES MORE?

THE TEST TUBE OR THE PETRI DISH?

UH...

NEITHER.

"SO AS WE GO FORTH INTO THIS WORLD OF UNCERTAINTY..."

I'M THINKING I'LL START TEARING UP RIGHT ABOUT HERE.

AUSTIN!

CAN I TALK TO YOU FOR A SEC?

TRISH MAY HAVE ACCIDENTALLY

SPILLED A LITTLE SOMETHING ON THE BOOK.

BUT DON'T WORRY, IT WAS JUST A TINY DROP.

OF INCREDIBLY CORROSIVE ACID.

WHY WERE YOU EVEN USING REAL ACID?

IT WAS JUST FOR A PHOTO.

(gasps)

HOW DARE YOU.

MY PHOTOGRAPHY IS A REFLECTION OF REALITY.

I'M NOT SOME HACK LIKE CHUCK. I WOULD NEVER FAKE IT.

THIS WHOLE PHOTO SHOOT IS FAKE!

WHAT'S THE BIG DEAL ANYWAY?

I THOUGHT YOU ALREADY RETURNED THE BOOK?

I LIED, OKAY?

I JUST NEEDED MORE TIME TO FIND IT.

OOH, YOU IN TROUBLE.

WELL, NOW WHAT?

IF I DON'T GET THE BOOK BACK TO THE LIBRARY

ALLY WON'T BE ABLE TO GO TO GRADUATION,

SHE'LL NEVER SPEAK TO ME AGAIN,

AND SHE'LL NEVER BE THE PRESIDENT OF THE UNITED STATES OF AMERICA!

ON THE BRIGHT SIDE,

NO ONE WILL HAVE TO LISTEN TO HER LONG, BORING GRADUATION SPEECH.

HOW AM I GONNA TELL ALLY I CAN'T FIND THE LIBRARY BOOK?

GRADUATION MEANS EVERYTHING TO HER.

YOU'RE GONNA BE IN TROUBLE.

STOP SAYING THAT.

I'VE GOT A GREAT IDEA.

IF WE DESTROY THE SCHOOL,

THEN NO ONE CAN GRADUATE

AND SHE WON'T BE MISSING ANYTHING.

EXCEPT FOR HER BEST FRIENDS,

WHO WILL BE IN PRISON FOR DESTROYING THE SCHOOL.

YOU KNOW,

IT'S EASY TO POKE HOLES.

WELL,

THIS SOUNDS LIKE A YOU PROBLEM.

CAN WE GET BACK TO STAGING MY FAKE YEARBOOK PHOTOS?

THAT'S IT.

YOU'VE BEEN FAKING ALL YOUR YEARBOOK PHOTOS,

SO WHY CAN'T WE PUT ON A FAKE GRADUATION FOR ALLY?

THAT COULD WORK.

I MEAN, IT'D BE KIND OF LIKE SETTING UP A MOVIE SHOOT.

YEAH.

WHAT IF YOU SHOOT A GRADUATION THEMED MUSIC VIDEO

AND INVITE THE WHOLE SCHOOL TO BE IN IT?

OOH, WHAT'S OUR BUDGET?

DO YOU THINK WE COULD AFFORD CHANNING TATUM

TO BE THE PRINCIPAL?

ALLY'S GONNA KNOW CHANNING TATUM ISN'T OUR PRINCIPAL.

I KNOW, BUT COME ON.

CHANNING TATUM.

GUYS, FOCUS ON THE PLAN.

NOW, WE'RE GONNA HAVE TO DO THIS ON SATURDAY

BECAUSE ACTUAL GRADUATION IS ON SUNDAY.

BUT ALLY'S NEVER GONNA BELIEVE THEY CHANGED THE DATE OF GRADUATION.

SO WE JUST HAVE TO CONVINCE ALLY THAT SATURDAY IS SUNDAY.

I SEE WHERE YOU'RE GOING WITH THIS.

WE GET ALLY TO STAY UP LATE

SO SHE'S CONFUSED WHEN SHE WAKES UP.

THEN WE CHANGE ALL THE CLOCKS

SO SHE THINKS SHE SLEPT FOR A WHOLE DAY.

RIGHT. AND WHILE SHE'S SLEEPING, WE DRAW A MUSTACHE ON HER FACE

WITH PERMANENT MARKER.

GREAT PLAN, GUYS.

OKAY, HERE'S THE PLAN.

ALLY'S IN THERE PRACTICING HER SPEECH.

WE'RE GONNA TAKE TURNS KEEPING HER UP.

NO MATTER WHAT,

WE CAN'T LET HER FALL ASLEEP UNTIL AT LEAST MIDNIGHT.

OKAY. I'LL GO FIRST.

(groans)

I COULDN'T THINK OF ANYTHING TO TALK TO HER ABOUT.

I GIVE UP.

"SO IN CONCLUSION,

"THE LITTLE GIRL WHO FOUND THAT SEASHELL

"IS READY TO DIVE

INTO THAT GREAT BIG OCEAN."

WOW.

THAT WAS GREAT.

WHY DON'T YOU READ IT ONE MORE TIME?

REALLY?

I'VE ALREADY READ IT TO YOU LIKE 25 TIMES.

YOU MUST REALLY LIKE IT.

I JUST LOVE IT SO MUCH.

AWW.

"FELLOW GRADUATES,

AS WE GATHER HERE TODAY..."

AUSTIN.

WHY ARE WE JOGGING IN PLACE AGAIN?

IT'S A GREAT WAY TO CLEAR YOUR MIND

SO YOU CAN FOCUS ON YOUR SPEECH.

I COULD ALSO FOCUS ON MY SPEECH

BY FOCUSING ON MY SPEECH.

COME ON. JUST ANOTHER...

HOUR AND 15 MINUTES.

OKAY.

IT'S MIDNIGHT NOW.

WE CAN STOP.

GUYS.

(both gasp)

SHE FELL ASLEEP. IT'S TIME FOR THE NEXT PART OF THE PLAN.

DEZ, WHAT ARE YOU DOING?

DRAWING A MUSTACHE ON ALLY'S FACE.

ISN'T THAT PART OF THE PLAN?

OKAY.

WE'VE RESET ALL THE CLOCKS,

PHONES, AND COMPUTERS IN THE MUSIC FACTORY.

OH, AND AUSTIN JUST TEXTED

SAYING EVERYTHING'S IN PLACE FOR THE VIDEO SHOOT.

TIME TO WAKE UP ALLY.

DEZ.

RELAX. IT'S JUST A STICK ON.

AAH!

WHAT WAS THAT?

ALLY, WHAT ARE YOU DOING STILL SLEEPING?

WE'VE GOT TO GET TO GRADUATION.

WHAT?

GRADUATION?

BUT IT'S SATURDAY.

NO. YOU SLEPT THROUGH SATURDAY.

IT'S SUNDAY NOW. AND ANY CALENDAR,

CLOCK, OR T-SHIRT WILL CONFIRM THAT.

COME ON. HURRY.

YOU DON'T WANT TO MISS THE CEREMONY.

I HAVEN'T EVEN HAD A CHANCE TO GET READY. DO I LOOK OKAY?

NOPE.

HEY, EVERYONE. I WANT TO THANK YOU ALL SO MUCH

FOR BEING A PART OF MY NEW VIDEO.

(cheering)

I EXPECT MY DANCING WILL BE FEATURED.

I'VE GOT SOME GOOD MOVES.

(all groaning)

NO. I WANT THIS TO LOOK LIKE A REAL GRADUATION.

I NEED YOU TO DO EXACTLY WHAT YOU'RE GONNA DO TOMORROW.

YEAH, THAT WAS EXACTLY WHAT I WAS GONNA DO TOMORROW.

ALLY! THANK GOODNESS YOU'RE HERE.

IT'S TIME FOR YOUR SPEECH.

YEAH, YOU'D BETTER GET UP ON STAGE.

ISN'T THE PRINCIPAL GOING TO INTRODUCE ME?

UH...

HE SAID YOU NEED NO INTRODUCTION.

FELLOW GRADUATES,

AS WE GATHER TO TAKE THIS MOMENTOUS STEP IN OUR LIVES,

LET US LOOK BACK ON THE LAST FOUR YEARS

AND MOST IMPORTANTLY,

THE FRIENDSHIPS WE'VE MADE.

THOSE FRIENDSHIPS TEACH US ABOUT TRUST AND HONESTY,

ABOUT COMING THROUGH WHEN SOMEONE IS COUNTING ON YOU,

AND NOT KEEPING SECRETS,

OR BLATANTLY LYING TO YOUR FRIEND'S FACE.

AND AS ABRAHAM LINCOLN ONCE SAID,

ALSO KNOWN AS HONEST ABE--

I DIDN'T RETURN THE BOOK.

ABRAHAM LINCOLN SAID THAT?

I THOUGHT IT WAS ROOSEVELT.

I COULDN'T FIND IT, AND I DIDN'T WANT YOU TO BE MAD,

SO I LIED TO BUY MORE TIME.

SO THEN I FINALLY FOUND A COPY,

BUT THEN TRISH AND DEZ SPILLED ACID ON IT,

AND THEN I MADE UP THIS WHOLE FAKE GRADUATION

AND I MADE YOU BELIEVE YOU SLEPT A WHOLE DAY,

AND THIS WHOLE THING IS A LIE. AND NOW I'M OUT OF BREATH.

ALLY, I'M SO SORRY.

SO YOU'RE NOT MAD AT ME?

WELL, I WAS MAD

WHEN I FOUND OUT YOU LIED.

BUT...

I'M HAPPY YOU FINALLY CAME CLEAN.

AND I FIGURE ANYONE

WHO WOULD GO TO THIS MUCH TROUBLE

TO SET UP A FAKE GRADUATION

MUST REALLY CARE ABOUT ME.

SO YOU KNEW I DIDN'T RETURN THE BOOK?

YEAH.

I KNOW WHEN YOU'RE LYING.

ALSO THE CAP AND GOWN YOU GAVE ME HAD YOUR NAME IN IT.

ALLY, I'M SO SORRY YOU CAN'T BE A PART OF THE REAL GRADUATION CEREMONY.

OH.

I CAN.

I JUST HAD TO PAY A FINE.

YOU OWE ME SEVEN DOLLARS.

SEVEN DOLLARS?

THAT'S IT?

ARE WE SHOOTING A MUSIC VIDEO OR WHAT?

(pop music playing)

♪ JUMP BACK, KISS YOURSELF ♪

♪ WE MADE IT TO THE TOP, STILL CLIMBING ♪

♪ JUMP BACK, KISS YOURSELF ♪

♪ YEAH, YOU DID IT, YEAH, YOU DID IT, YEAH, YOU DID IT NOW ♪

♪ JUMP BACK, KISS YOURSELF ♪

♪ WE MADE IT THIS FAR, THE FUTURE LOOKS BRIGHT AND ♪

♪ JUMP BACK, KISS YOURSELF ♪

♪ YEAH, YOU DID IT YEAH, YOU DID IT, YEAH, YOU DID IT NOW ♪

♪ YEAH, IT'S GOING DOWN ♪

♪ BUT WE HEADED UP, FEELING SO GOOD ♪

♪ CAN'T GET ENOUGH ♪

♪ 10 TIMES OUT OF 10 ♪

♪ WE WIN ♪

♪ HANDS IN THE AIR, NOW GET 'EM UP ♪

♪ KNOCK, KNOCK, WHO IS IT? ♪

♪ WALK THROUGH THAT DOOR, I CAME TO GET WITH IT ♪

-♪ CAN'T STOP ♪ -♪ COME GET IT ♪

♪ NA-NA-NA-NA-NA-NA ♪

♪ HANDS IN THE AIR ♪

-♪ OH YEAH ♪ -♪ ALL MY PEOPLE ON THE LEFT ♪

-♪ OKAY ♪ -♪ ALL MY PEOPLE ON THE RIGHT ♪

-♪ OVER HERE ♪ -♪ GO AHEAD, ONE, TWO STEP ♪

♪ HEY, I KNOW IT FEEL GOOD ♪

♪ YOU KNOW YOU CAN'T DENY IT ♪

♪ AND IF YOU DID-- YOU DID, YOU KNOW YOU WOULD BE LYING ♪

♪ JUMP BACK, KISS YOURSELF ♪

♪ WE MADE IT TO THE TOP, STILL CLIMBING ♪

♪ JUMP BACK, KISS YOURSELF ♪

♪ YEAH, YOU DID IT YEAH, YOU DID IT, YEAH, YOU DID IT NOW ♪

♪ JUMP BACK, KISS YOURSELF ♪

♪ WE MADE IT THIS FAR, THE FUTURE LOOKS BRIGHT AND ♪

♪ JUMP BACK, KISS YOURSELF ♪

♪ YEAH, YOU DID IT YEAH, YOU DID IT, YEAH, YOU DID IT NOW ♪

♪ EVERYBODY IN THE BUILDING THROW 'EM UP HIGH ♪

♪ I KNOW YOU GOT THE FEELING, BREAK THROUGH THE CEILING ♪

♪ KNOCK DOWN THE WALLS, LIVING YOUR DREAMS ♪

♪ YOU CAN HAVE IT ALL, PLAYING NO GAMES ♪

♪ STILL YOU CAN HAVE A BALL, CAN'T RUN TILL YOU WALK ♪

♪ CAN'T WALK TILL YOU CRAWL ♪

♪ 'CAUSE YEAH, YOU GOT IT, THAT'S RIGHT, YOU DID IT ♪

♪ JUMP BACK, KISS YOURSELF, GET BUSY ♪

♪ JUMP BACK, KISS YOURSELF ♪

♪ WE MADE IT TO THE TOP, STILL CLIMBING ♪

♪ JUMP BACK, KISS YOURSELF ♪

♪ YEAH, YOU DID IT YEAH, YOU DID IT, YEAH, YOU DID IT NOW ♪

♪ JUMP BACK, KISS YOURSELF ♪

♪ WE'VE MADE IT THIS FAR, THE FUTURE LOOKS BRIGHT AND ♪

♪ JUMP BACK, KISS YOURSELF ♪

♪ YEAH, YOU DID IT YEAH, YOU DID IT, YEAH, YOU DID IT NOW ♪

REAL GRADUATION WAS AWESOME.

EH, I DON'T KNOW.

AFTER THE FAKE ONE, THE REAL ONE WAS KIND OF A LETDOWN.

DO YOU THINK EVERYONE LIKED MY SPEECH?

NO IDEA. I WAS DEAD ASLEEP.

HEY, FELLOW GRADUATES.

JUST STOPPED BY SO YOU COULD SIGN MY YEARBOOK.

WHOA. THAT THING IS HUGE.

AND THIS WHOLE THING IS JUST PICTURES OF TRISH.

TRISH ON THE HOMECOMING FLOAT,

TRISH IN HONORS SOCIETY.

WAIT, ARE YOU GETTING RESCUED BY CHANNING TATUM THERE?

WE MAY HAVE GOTTEN A LITTLE CARRIED AWAY.

I SAVED THIS PAGE FOR YOU, TRISHALICIOUS.

"BEST COUPLE"?

WE'RE NOT EVEN DATING.

I KNOW.

BUT I WANTED TO TELL MY KIDS

THAT I DATED THE PRETTIEST GIRL IN SCHOOL.

YOU KNOW WHAT?

I FEEL SLIGHTLY LESS DISGUSTED BY YOU

THAN I NORMALLY DO.

AND SO IT BEGINS.

WHATEVER.

DID YOU SEE AUSTIN AND I GOT VOTED "BEST BROMANCE"?

THAT ISN'T EVEN A CATEGORY.

YEAH, I ADDED IT.

Both: (high-pitched) WHAT UP?

I SAID "SLIGHTLY."

♪ KISS YOURSELF ♪

♪ YEAH, YOU DID IT YEAH, YOU DID IT, YEAH, YOU DID IT NOW ♪