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1
00:00:06,257 --> 00:00:07,587
THE PURPOSE
OF LIFE SKILLS CLASS
2
00:00:07,588 --> 00:00:09,258
IS TO PREPARE YOU
FOR THE FUTURE.
3
00:00:09,260 --> 00:00:11,340
THOUGH, HONESTLY,
4
00:00:11,342 --> 00:00:14,562
NOTHING CAN PREPARE YOU
FOR WHEN YOUR DEADBEAT
BOYFRIEND CRASHES YOUR CAR
5
00:00:14,555 --> 00:00:16,845
AND LEAVES YOU
FOR YOUR PILATES INSTRUCTOR.
6
00:00:19,770 --> 00:00:22,310
ANYWAY,
FOR THIS WEEK'S ASSIGNMENT,
7
00:00:22,313 --> 00:00:25,283
EVERYONE WILL PAIR UP
AND PUT TOGETHER A BUDGET
AND A VISUAL PRESENTATION
8
00:00:25,276 --> 00:00:27,276
FOR ONE OF THESE
MAJOR LIFE EVENTS.
9
00:00:27,278 --> 00:00:30,948
"RETIREMENT.
BABY SHOWER."
10
00:00:30,951 --> 00:00:33,611
OOH! A WEDDING.
LET'S PLAN A WEDDING.
11
00:00:35,866 --> 00:00:37,866
-(laughs)
-ALLY...
12
00:00:37,868 --> 00:00:40,158
WILL YOU MAKE ME
THE HAPPIEST MAN
IN LIFE SKILLS CLASS
13
00:00:40,161 --> 00:00:41,251
AND FAKE-MARRY ME?
14
00:00:41,252 --> 00:00:44,342
AND PROMISE TO HONOR
AND CHERISH ME UNTIL
THE BELL DO US PART?
15
00:00:44,335 --> 00:00:46,295
(laughs) I DO.
16
00:00:46,297 --> 00:00:48,757
LET'S MAKE A BUDGET
FOR THE BEST FAKE WEDDING EVER.
17
00:00:48,759 --> 00:00:51,379
YOU TWO MAKE
SUCH A CUTE COUPLE,
18
00:00:51,382 --> 00:00:53,592
JUST LIKE PHILIP
AND I USED TO BE.
19
00:00:53,594 --> 00:00:55,354
HE STOLE MY HEART...
20
00:00:55,346 --> 00:00:57,306
THEN HE STOLE
MY WAFFLE MAKER.
21
00:00:59,310 --> 00:01:02,060
I KNOW HOW YOU FEEL.
I WAS A CUTE COUPLE ONCE.
22
00:01:02,062 --> 00:01:03,312
HER NAME WAS CARRIE.
(scoffs)
23
00:01:03,314 --> 00:01:05,154
PROBABLY STILL IS.
24
00:01:06,447 --> 00:01:08,397
I'M SORRY.
ARE YOU SUPPOSED
TO BE IN THIS CLASS?
25
00:01:08,399 --> 00:01:09,949
NOPE.
26
00:01:11,492 --> 00:01:13,782
CONGRATULATIONS
ON THE FAKE ENGAGEMENT, BUDDY.
27
00:01:13,784 --> 00:01:17,624
IF YOU BREAK HIS HEART,
I SWEAR I WILL DESTROY YOU.
28
00:01:18,619 --> 00:01:20,119
TOODLES!
29
00:01:20,121 --> 00:01:22,201
(theme music playing)
30
00:01:25,546 --> 00:01:27,206
♪ WHEN THE CROWD
WANTS MORE ♪
31
00:01:27,208 --> 00:01:29,008
♪ I BRING ON THE THUNDER ♪
32
00:01:29,009 --> 00:01:30,259
♪ 'CAUSE YOU GOT MY BACK ♪
33
00:01:30,261 --> 00:01:31,971
♪ AND I'M NOT GOING UNDER ♪
34
00:01:31,972 --> 00:01:33,422
♪ YOU'RE MY POINT,
YOU'RE MY GUARD ♪
35
00:01:33,424 --> 00:01:35,354
♪ YOU'RE THE PERFECT CHORD ♪
36
00:01:35,346 --> 00:01:38,266
♪ AND I SEE OUR NAMES TOGETHER
ON EVERY BILLBOARD ♪
37
00:01:38,269 --> 00:01:39,849
♪ WE'RE HEADED FOR THE TOP ♪
38
00:01:39,850 --> 00:01:41,350
♪ WE GOT IT ON LOCK ♪
39
00:01:41,352 --> 00:01:43,182
♪ WE'LL MAKE 'EM SAY "HEY" ♪
40
00:01:43,184 --> 00:01:45,364
♪ AND WE'LL KEEP ROCKING ♪
41
00:01:45,356 --> 00:01:46,486
♪ OH ♪
42
00:01:46,487 --> 00:01:49,487
♪ THERE'S NO WAY
I COULD MAKE IT WITHOUT YA ♪
43
00:01:49,490 --> 00:01:52,230
♪ DO IT WITHOUT YA,
BE HERE WITHOUT YA ♪
44
00:01:52,233 --> 00:01:55,333
♪ IT'S NO FUN
WHEN YOU'RE DOING IT SOLO ♪
45
00:01:55,326 --> 00:01:57,196
♪ WITH YOU IT'S LIKE "WHOA" ♪
46
00:01:57,198 --> 00:01:58,788
♪ YEAH AND I KNOW ♪
47
00:01:58,789 --> 00:02:01,579
♪ I OWN THIS DREAM ♪
48
00:02:01,582 --> 00:02:04,962
♪ 'CAUSE I GOT YOU WITH ME ♪
49
00:02:04,955 --> 00:02:07,955
♪ THERE'S NO WAY I COULD
MAKE IT WITHOUT YA ♪
50
00:02:07,958 --> 00:02:09,508
♪ DO IT WITHOUT YA ♪
51
00:02:09,510 --> 00:02:11,670
♪ BE HERE WITHOUT YA ♪
52
00:02:16,217 --> 00:02:17,967
OKAY, FAKE FIANCE,
53
00:02:17,968 --> 00:02:19,678
READY TO PLAN
OUR FAKE WEDDING?
54
00:02:19,680 --> 00:02:21,720
YEAH, MS. TOWNSEND GAVE US
A BUDGET.
55
00:02:21,722 --> 00:02:23,642
WE JUST HAVE TO FIGURE HOW MUCH
PRETEND MONEY WE CAN SPEND
56
00:02:23,644 --> 00:02:26,274
ON STUFF LIKE FLOWERS,
FOOD, AND A BOUNCE HOUSE.
57
00:02:26,267 --> 00:02:29,227
WE'RE NOT HAVING A BOUNCE HOUSE
AT OUR WEDDING.
58
00:02:30,231 --> 00:02:33,031
-IT'S NOT A REAL WEDDING.
-YEAH, BUT THAT'S REAL TACKY.
59
00:02:34,575 --> 00:02:36,115
HEY, YOU KNOW
WHAT WE SHOULD DO?
60
00:02:37,278 --> 00:02:38,538
A PETTING ZOO.
61
00:02:38,539 --> 00:02:41,779
NO, FOR OUR PRESENTATION.
62
00:02:41,782 --> 00:02:44,212
LET'S DRESS UP
LIKE A BRIDE AND GROOM.
63
00:02:44,205 --> 00:02:46,165
GREAT IDEA. I CAN BE THE GROOM.
64
00:02:47,998 --> 00:02:50,168
YEAH.
65
00:02:50,170 --> 00:02:52,250
AND OBVIOUSLY,
WE'LL NEED FLOWERS.
66
00:02:52,253 --> 00:02:54,173
I ALWAYS PICTURED HAVING
A BOUQUET
67
00:02:54,174 --> 00:02:56,224
OF LILIES AND ORCHIDS
AT OUR WEDDING.
68
00:02:56,217 --> 00:02:57,557
NOT THAT I'VE THOUGHT ABOUT IT.
69
00:02:57,558 --> 00:03:00,388
I ALWAYS PICTURED HAVING
A BIG, AWESOME,
70
00:03:00,391 --> 00:03:02,431
SIX-LAYER WHITE CHOCOLATE CAKE
AT OUR WEDDING.
71
00:03:03,724 --> 00:03:05,774
NOT THAT I THOUGHT
ABOUT IT EITHER.
72
00:03:05,766 --> 00:03:08,266
THIS IS KINDA WEIRD, HUH?
73
00:03:08,269 --> 00:03:10,109
TALKING ABOUT
OUR FUTURE TOGETHER.
74
00:03:11,111 --> 00:03:12,611
IT'S ACTUALLY KINDA FUN.
75
00:03:12,613 --> 00:03:14,913
CARRIE USED TO LOVE THINGS
THAT ARE ACTUALLY KINDA FUN.
76
00:03:16,817 --> 00:03:19,317
(grunts)
EVERYTHING KEEPS
REMINDING ME OF HER,
77
00:03:19,320 --> 00:03:21,740
ESPECIALLY
THESE AQUASMILE ADS.
78
00:03:21,742 --> 00:03:23,372
THEN WHY DON'T
YOU STOP LOOKING AT THEM?
79
00:03:23,374 --> 00:03:25,794
(sobbing)
I CAN'T!
80
00:03:27,378 --> 00:03:28,958
GUYS, BIG NEWS.
81
00:03:28,959 --> 00:03:32,249
GUESS WHO BOOKED DEZ A JOB
DIRECTING A COMMERCIAL!
82
00:03:32,253 --> 00:03:33,673
TRISH, YOU DID THAT FOR ME?
83
00:03:33,674 --> 00:03:36,224
YOU NEED SOMETHING
TO GET YOUR MIND OFF OF CARRIE,
84
00:03:36,216 --> 00:03:38,426
PLUS, AS YOUR MANAGER,
I GET YOUR ENTIRE PAYCHECK.
85
00:03:38,429 --> 00:03:40,549
-YOU'RE SUCH A GOOD FRIEND.
-(chuckles)
86
00:03:41,682 --> 00:03:45,192
-SO WHAT'S THE COMMERCIAL FOR?
-ARMAND BIANCHI'S NEW FRAGRANCE.
87
00:03:45,185 --> 00:03:46,765
(whispers) EMU.
88
00:03:46,767 --> 00:03:50,607
-E-WHAT NOW?
-IT'S A BIG BIRD.
89
00:03:50,611 --> 00:03:52,691
ANYWAY, ARMAND WANTS YOU
TO START RIGHT AWAY.
90
00:03:52,693 --> 00:03:54,063
OKAY.
91
00:03:54,064 --> 00:03:55,744
NOT THIS SECOND!
92
00:03:55,736 --> 00:03:57,616
DO YOU EVEN KNOW
WHERE YOU'RE GOING?
93
00:03:57,618 --> 00:03:59,068
(Dez shouts) NO!
94
00:04:00,361 --> 00:04:02,361
ALL RIGHT, ALLY,
LET'S GET STARTED
ON OUR PRESENTATION.
95
00:04:02,363 --> 00:04:05,293
-(cellphone chimes)
-OH!
96
00:04:07,788 --> 00:04:09,668
OOH. I JUST GOT A TEXT.
97
00:04:09,670 --> 00:04:12,460
MY LABEL NEEDS MY NEW SINGLE
BY THIS WEEKEND.
98
00:04:12,463 --> 00:04:14,343
THEY WANT ME
AT THE STUDIO RIGHT AWAY.
99
00:04:14,335 --> 00:04:17,335
THAT'S COOL.
I CAN GET STARTED WITHOUT YOU.
100
00:04:17,338 --> 00:04:18,678
YOU'RE THE BEST.
101
00:04:19,680 --> 00:04:21,260
THANKS, HUBBY-TO-BE.
102
00:04:25,346 --> 00:04:27,766
TRISH, WANNA HANG OUT
AND HELP ME PLAN A WEDDING?
103
00:04:27,768 --> 00:04:30,268
(vocalizes tune)
104
00:04:30,270 --> 00:04:32,150
OH, SORRY.
105
00:04:32,152 --> 00:04:34,612
I JUST GOT A TEXT THAT SAYS
I DON'T FEEL LIKE DOING THAT.
106
00:04:41,862 --> 00:04:44,672
THANKS FOR COMING
TO THE COMMERCIAL SET
TO SUPPORT ME, TRISH.
107
00:04:44,665 --> 00:04:46,825
OH, I'M ONLY HERE
FOR THE PAMPERING.
108
00:04:46,827 --> 00:04:49,667
THESE ASSISTANTS WILL
DO ANYTHING IF THEY THINK
YOU'RE IMPORTANT.
109
00:04:51,582 --> 00:04:53,712
HI, I'M IMPORTANT.
110
00:04:53,714 --> 00:04:56,724
IS THERE ANYONE ON SET
WHO SPECIALIZES IN MANICURES?
111
00:05:00,341 --> 00:05:03,341
(gasps) AH!
112
00:05:03,344 --> 00:05:07,024
-DEZINGTON!
-IT'S ACTUALLY JUST "DEZ."
113
00:05:07,017 --> 00:05:08,557
NO, IT'S NOT.
114
00:05:08,559 --> 00:05:11,269
SHH! LISTEN.
DO YOU HEAR THAT?
115
00:05:12,272 --> 00:05:13,812
-NO.
-EXACTLY!
116
00:05:13,814 --> 00:05:16,244
IF A TREE FALLS IN THE WOODS
BUT NO ONE IS THERE TO HEAR IT,
117
00:05:16,236 --> 00:05:19,356
IS LUMBERJACK PLAID
STILL IN FASHION?
118
00:05:20,361 --> 00:05:23,201
YE-NO-YES.
119
00:05:23,203 --> 00:05:28,123
I KNEW YOU'D UNDERSTAND.
120
00:05:28,118 --> 00:05:31,208
NOW, LET ME SHOW YOU
121
00:05:31,211 --> 00:05:33,501
THE NEW FACE OF...
122
00:05:33,504 --> 00:05:35,344
EMU.
123
00:05:36,627 --> 00:05:38,127
CARRIE!
124
00:05:39,420 --> 00:05:41,340
-CARRIE?
-CARRIE?
125
00:05:41,341 --> 00:05:43,011
I MEAN-- WAIT.
126
00:05:43,013 --> 00:05:46,273
CARRIE?
DARN, I DID IT AGAIN.
127
00:05:46,266 --> 00:05:48,226
DEZ?
128
00:05:48,228 --> 00:05:50,598
(grunts, breathes deeply)
129
00:05:50,601 --> 00:05:53,521
JUST ACT NORMAL.
(clears throat)
130
00:05:53,524 --> 00:05:54,984
(British accent)
'ALLO, CARRIE.
131
00:05:54,975 --> 00:05:57,275
I LOOK FORWARD TO WORKING
WITH YOU IN THE MORNING.
132
00:05:57,277 --> 00:05:58,607
PIP PIP! CHEERIO.
133
00:06:05,285 --> 00:06:08,445
BUT IF WE GO WITH CHICKEN
INSTEAD OF STEAK,
134
00:06:08,449 --> 00:06:10,329
WE'LL HAVE MONEY
FOR THE SILVER NAPKIN RINGS,
135
00:06:10,330 --> 00:06:13,830
WHICH IS PERFECT,
BECAUSE IT'LL MATCH
THE RIBBON ON ALLY'S DRESS.
136
00:06:13,834 --> 00:06:16,054
YOU KNOW WHAT I'M THINKING?
137
00:06:16,046 --> 00:06:18,916
THAT THE SILVER IS
A MISSED OPPORTUNITY
TO INJECT SOME COLOR?
138
00:06:18,919 --> 00:06:21,379
CLOSE.
I'M THINKING
139
00:06:21,381 --> 00:06:23,171
YOU SHOULD SHARE
THIS JUNK WITH ALLY,
140
00:06:23,173 --> 00:06:24,853
'CAUSE I STOPPED LISTENING
AFTER YOU SAID,
141
00:06:24,845 --> 00:06:26,215
"HEY, TRISH,
LISTEN TO THIS."
142
00:06:27,508 --> 00:06:29,808
I WOULD, BUT ALLY'S
BEEN RECORDING ALL DAY.
143
00:06:29,810 --> 00:06:31,890
I HAD TO CALL
THE FLORIST, THE D.J.
144
00:06:31,892 --> 00:06:35,022
I EVEN HAND-WROTE
AN INVITATION IN CALLIGRAPHY.
145
00:06:36,356 --> 00:06:39,066
"FISH STICKS
BUBBLE GUM TRAIN"?
146
00:06:39,069 --> 00:06:41,279
THAT SAYS
"DEAR WEDDING GUEST."
147
00:06:41,281 --> 00:06:43,361
IN WHAT LANGUAGE?
148
00:06:43,363 --> 00:06:45,493
(scoffs)
WELL, CHECK OUT
WHAT ELSE I MADE.
149
00:06:46,577 --> 00:06:49,987
IT'S A LITTLE
AUSTIN AND ALLY BRIDE AND GROOM
FOR THE TOP OF THE CAKE.
150
00:06:49,990 --> 00:06:52,990
-I CARVED THEM OUT OF SOAP.
-WELL, GOOD LUCK, GROOMZILLA.
151
00:06:52,993 --> 00:06:55,303
-(cellphone rings)
-(scoffs)
152
00:06:57,998 --> 00:07:00,338
HEY, ALLY,
ARE YOU ALMOST HERE?
153
00:07:00,340 --> 00:07:02,920
BAD NEWS:
I CAN'T MAKE IT.
154
00:07:04,004 --> 00:07:06,224
ARE YOU DOING THAT THING
WHERE YOU CALL AND SAY
YOU'RE SOMEWHERE ELSE
155
00:07:06,216 --> 00:07:08,386
BUT YOU'RE REALLY STANDING
OUTSIDE THE DOOR?
156
00:07:08,388 --> 00:07:09,508
I LOVE IT
WHEN YOU DO THAT.
157
00:07:09,510 --> 00:07:12,390
AUSTIN, I'M STUCK
AT THE STUDIO.
158
00:07:13,313 --> 00:07:15,903
STUCK AT THE STUDIO
RIGHT OUTSIDE THE DOOR?
159
00:07:16,897 --> 00:07:18,607
HEY, I--
I GOTTA RUN.
160
00:07:18,609 --> 00:07:20,399
I REALLY WISH
I WAS THERE WITH YOU,
161
00:07:20,400 --> 00:07:24,270
BUT HEY, AT LEAST WE HAVE
OUR WHOLE FUTURE TOGETHER,
HUBBY-TO-BE.
162
00:07:26,867 --> 00:07:28,277
(sighs)
163
00:07:29,570 --> 00:07:32,370
AT LEAST I GET TO HANG
WITH YOU, SOAP ALLY.
164
00:07:32,372 --> 00:07:35,252
YOU'D NEVER GET SO BUSY WHERE
YOU COULDN'T MAKE TIME FOR ME.
165
00:07:35,245 --> 00:07:38,745
(high-pitched)
SORRY, AUSTIN,
I HAVE MUSIC TO RECORD. BYE!
166
00:07:40,631 --> 00:07:43,791
(sighs)
LOOKS LIKE IT'S JUST
YOU AND ME, SOAP AUSTIN.
167
00:07:44,795 --> 00:07:47,385
(gruffly) SORRY.
I'VE GOT TO GO STAND
ON TOP OF A CAKE.
168
00:07:47,387 --> 00:07:48,467
BYE.
169
00:07:53,894 --> 00:07:55,984
I CAME BACK
TO GET MY PHONE.
(chuckles)
170
00:07:56,977 --> 00:07:58,357
I'LL JUST GO GET
A NEW ONE.
171
00:08:07,868 --> 00:08:09,278
(clears throat)
172
00:08:09,279 --> 00:08:12,199
Ally's voice:
WE HAVE OUR WHOLE
FUTURE TOGETHER, HUBBY-TO-BE.
173
00:08:12,202 --> 00:08:16,502
OUR WHOLE FUTURE.
174
00:08:19,830 --> 00:08:22,830
-(chimes)
-OH.
175
00:08:24,464 --> 00:08:28,304
HEY, ALLY, I HAVE EVERYTHING
SET UP FOR OUR SPECIAL DINNER.
ARE YOU CLOSE?
176
00:08:28,298 --> 00:08:30,588
Bad news:
I can't make it.
177
00:08:30,591 --> 00:08:32,341
I'm stuck in Paris.
178
00:08:32,342 --> 00:08:35,562
I'm really sorry
I'm not there for
our fifth wedding anniversary.
179
00:08:35,556 --> 00:08:38,396
EH. YOU WEREN'T HERE
FOR THE OTHER FOUR...
180
00:08:38,398 --> 00:08:39,478
OR OUR WEDDING.
181
00:08:39,479 --> 00:08:41,939
YOU EVEN MISSED
THE BIRTH OF OUR OCTUPLETS.
182
00:08:41,942 --> 00:08:44,192
(babies crying)
183
00:08:46,446 --> 00:08:49,236
Mmm. My bad.
184
00:08:50,320 --> 00:08:52,610
HEY, I THOUGHT
YOU WERE IN PARIS.
185
00:08:52,613 --> 00:08:54,533
THERE ARE
NO PYRAMIDS IN PARIS.
186
00:08:54,534 --> 00:08:56,834
That's because
this is your dream.
187
00:08:57,828 --> 00:08:59,998
Look, now I have
a mustache.
188
00:09:01,421 --> 00:09:02,961
WHAT DOES IT ALL MEAN?
189
00:09:02,963 --> 00:09:06,303
Obviously, this is all
a symbolic manifestation
190
00:09:06,296 --> 00:09:08,546
of your fear
that in the future
191
00:09:08,548 --> 00:09:11,338
you'll be left behind
while I tour around the world.
192
00:09:11,341 --> 00:09:13,931
I don't know
what the mustache means.
193
00:09:13,934 --> 00:09:17,354
It's just...
weird dream stuff.
194
00:09:19,519 --> 00:09:20,639
(gasps)
195
00:09:23,183 --> 00:09:25,993
OH MAN,
MY FUTURE IS HORRIBLE.
196
00:09:27,147 --> 00:09:29,147
BUT EVEN WITH A MUSTACHE,
197
00:09:29,149 --> 00:09:30,819
ALLY'S STILL PRETTY.5
198
00:09:33,403 --> 00:09:36,913
SO ARE YOU SURE
YOU'RE GOING TO BE OKAY SHOOTING
YOUR EX-GIRLFRIEND'S COMMERCIAL?
199
00:09:36,907 --> 00:09:38,407
TRISH, I'M A DIRECTOR.
200
00:09:38,408 --> 00:09:41,198
I CAN BE PROFESSIONAL
AND PUT MY EMOTIONS ASIDE.
201
00:09:41,201 --> 00:09:43,251
-(scoffs)
-SO IT DOESN'T BOTHER YOU
202
00:09:43,253 --> 00:09:45,343
THAT THE COMMERCIAL IS
ABOUT A PASSIONATE ROMANCE
203
00:09:45,335 --> 00:09:46,915
BETWEEN CARRIE
AND HER HUNKY MALE CO-STAR?
204
00:09:46,917 --> 00:09:51,377
WHAT? EMOTIONS!
205
00:09:52,382 --> 00:09:55,352
WHOA.
SPEAKING OF HUNKS...
206
00:09:58,268 --> 00:09:59,308
TELL ME THAT'S NOT
CARRIE'S CO-STAR.
207
00:09:59,309 --> 00:10:00,559
TELL ME THAT'S
NOT CARRIE'S CO-STAR.
208
00:10:00,560 --> 00:10:03,390
-HI, I'M CARRIE'S COSTAR.
-(grunts)
209
00:10:03,393 --> 00:10:05,363
CAN WE TALK CAMERA ANGLES?
210
00:10:05,355 --> 00:10:08,315
YOU SEE, I'M WORRIED THAT
THE LEFT SIDE OF MY FACE
211
00:10:08,318 --> 00:10:10,358
IS ONLY SUPER HANDSOME.
212
00:10:11,491 --> 00:10:14,401
WHEREAS THE RIGHT SIDE
OF MY FACE IS SUPER,
SUPER HANDSOME.
213
00:10:17,367 --> 00:10:20,407
-BOTH SIDES SEEM FINE.
-(chuckles) VERY FINE.
214
00:10:20,410 --> 00:10:22,200
TRISH DE LA ROSA,
MANAGER.
215
00:10:22,202 --> 00:10:23,582
(chuckles)
NEWLY SINGLE.
216
00:10:23,583 --> 00:10:26,463
HI. OH, AND I NOTICED
THAT MY LEFT PEC
217
00:10:26,456 --> 00:10:28,836
IS A TINY BIT
MORE PRONOUNCED
THAN MY RIGHT.
218
00:10:28,839 --> 00:10:31,209
DO MY PECS
SEEM LOPSIDED TO YOU?
219
00:10:33,093 --> 00:10:35,103
I'M GONNA HAVE TO LOOK
AT THEM MORE CLOSELY.
220
00:10:36,256 --> 00:10:38,426
(muffled scream)
221
00:10:38,428 --> 00:10:40,308
(clears throat)
OKAY, PEOPLE,
222
00:10:40,310 --> 00:10:42,600
LET'S GET INTO WARDROBE
AND GET THIS THING OVER WITH.
223
00:10:45,065 --> 00:10:47,475
(dramatic music playing)
224
00:10:54,404 --> 00:10:56,454
ALL RIGHT,
THIS PART'S NOT TOO BAD.
225
00:11:11,001 --> 00:11:12,791
NOT LOVING
THIS PART SO MUCH.
226
00:11:20,510 --> 00:11:21,640
CUT!
227
00:11:23,473 --> 00:11:25,193
DEZ, WHAT ARE YOU DOING?
228
00:11:25,185 --> 00:11:26,975
I CAN'T WATCH CARRIE
WITH THAT GUY.
229
00:11:28,018 --> 00:11:30,148
LOOK, HE CAN'T KEEP
HIS EYES OFF HER.
230
00:11:33,273 --> 00:11:35,083
I THINK
YOU'RE OVERREACTING.
231
00:11:35,075 --> 00:11:37,235
WELL, I DON'T THINK YOU'RE
OVERREACTING ENOUGH!
232
00:11:37,237 --> 00:11:40,157
I HAVE TO CHANGE
THE ENTIRE CONCEPT
OF THIS COMMERCIAL.
233
00:11:40,160 --> 00:11:43,200
-(scoffs)
-WHOO! OKAY.
234
00:11:43,203 --> 00:11:46,633
NEW PLAN.
WHEN YOU SMELL
THE FRAGRANCE,
235
00:11:46,626 --> 00:11:48,496
I WANT YOU
TO THINK, "YECH!"
236
00:11:48,498 --> 00:11:51,998
"GET THAT AS FAR AWAY
FROM ME AS POSSIBLE."
237
00:11:52,002 --> 00:11:55,722
NOW, INSTEAD
OF A BORING OLD KISS,
238
00:11:55,715 --> 00:11:58,425
LET'S END
ON A HIGH FIVE!
239
00:11:58,428 --> 00:12:00,218
NO TOUCHING.
LET'S TRY IT.
240
00:12:00,220 --> 00:12:02,390
AND ACTION.
241
00:12:03,723 --> 00:12:05,943
OOH! AND AFTER
THE HIGH FIVE,
242
00:12:05,936 --> 00:12:07,346
LET'S ALL DANCE
LIKE CHICKENS.
243
00:12:10,690 --> 00:12:13,520
(shouts)
WHAT IS GOING ON HERE?
244
00:12:13,523 --> 00:12:16,073
YOUR CONCEPT WASN'T WORKING.
245
00:12:16,066 --> 00:12:19,276
-NEED I SAY MORE?
-YES, YOU NEED SAY MORE!
246
00:12:19,279 --> 00:12:23,239
DEZ, EMU--
IT'S ABOUT FIRE AND PASSION!
247
00:12:23,243 --> 00:12:26,253
NOT SILLY HIGH-FIVERY
AND CHICKEN DANCING!
248
00:12:26,246 --> 00:12:29,206
I DEMAND YOU RETURN
TO THE ORIGINAL SCRIPT!
249
00:12:29,209 --> 00:12:32,079
I CAN'T! IT'S YOUR STAR.
I CAN'T WORK WITH HER.
250
00:12:32,082 --> 00:12:33,292
I QUIT!
251
00:12:43,593 --> 00:12:44,943
-PHEW.
-(door opens)
252
00:12:44,935 --> 00:12:47,185
OKAY, I AM FINISHED RECORDING.
253
00:12:47,187 --> 00:12:49,267
I KNOW THAT
OUR WEDDING PRESENTATION
IS TOMORROW MORNING,
254
00:12:49,269 --> 00:12:51,059
AND I'M READY
TO ROCK THIS THING.
255
00:12:51,061 --> 00:12:53,811
-SO WHAT'S LEFT TO DO?
-I ALREADY DID EVERYTHING.
256
00:12:54,985 --> 00:12:57,525
OH. WOW!
257
00:12:57,527 --> 00:13:02,277
AWW! YOU MADE
THE LILY AND ORCHID
BOUQUET THAT I WANTED.
258
00:13:02,282 --> 00:13:05,542
OH! AND YOU
DID THE INVITATION
AND CALLIGRAPHY.
259
00:13:06,536 --> 00:13:08,366
WHO'S "FISH STICKS,
BUBBLE GUM TRAIN"?
260
00:13:09,409 --> 00:13:11,169
THAT'S NOT WHAT IT SAYS!
261
00:13:11,171 --> 00:13:13,791
(sighs)
SORRY, I'M NOT
A PROFESSIONAL FANCY WRITER.
262
00:13:13,793 --> 00:13:15,593
I DID THE BEST I COULD
WITH NO HELP.
263
00:13:16,586 --> 00:13:17,966
ARE YOU MAD?
264
00:13:17,968 --> 00:13:20,838
YOU KNOW I REALLY
WANTED TO BE HERE.
265
00:13:20,841 --> 00:13:24,091
YOU MADE IT SOUND
LIKE YOU HAD THE ASSIGNMENT
UNDER CONTROL.
266
00:13:24,094 --> 00:13:27,354
-THIS ISN'T
ABOUT THE ASSIGNMENT.
-THEN WHAT IS THIS ABOUT?
267
00:13:27,347 --> 00:13:29,017
I DON'T KNOW.
IT'S JUST...
268
00:13:29,019 --> 00:13:31,019
I'M WORRIED ABOUT
OUR FUTURE TOGETHER.
269
00:13:31,021 --> 00:13:33,351
FIRST, YOU'RE TOO BUSY
FOR OUR PRESENTATION,
270
00:13:33,353 --> 00:13:34,993
AND NEXT THING YOU KNOW,
YOU'VE GOT A MUSTACHE
271
00:13:34,985 --> 00:13:36,855
AND YOU'RE OFF TO EGYPT
TO LOOK AT THE EIFFEL TOWER.
272
00:13:36,857 --> 00:13:38,897
OUR OCTUPLETS DESERVE
BETTER THAN THAT.
273
00:13:40,360 --> 00:13:42,650
I DON'T KNOW
WHAT ANY OF THAT MEANS.
274
00:13:42,652 --> 00:13:45,292
IT MEANS MAYBE
THIS FAKE ENGAGEMENT
WAS A MISTAKE.
275
00:13:58,668 --> 00:14:01,218
(guitar music plays)
276
00:14:01,221 --> 00:14:04,221
AUSTIN, I'M SO SORRY.
277
00:14:04,224 --> 00:14:06,024
I'VE BEEN SO BUSY,
278
00:14:06,016 --> 00:14:08,386
I LOST TRACK
OF WHAT'S IMPORTANT.
279
00:14:08,388 --> 00:14:10,308
MAYBE I OVERREACTED.
280
00:14:11,311 --> 00:14:14,601
I HAD THIS WEIRD DREAM
ABOUT OUR FUTURE WHERE
YOU COMPLETELY PUSHED ME ASIDE.
281
00:14:14,604 --> 00:14:17,574
I PROMISE I WILL
NEVER PUSH YOU ASIDE.
282
00:14:17,567 --> 00:14:18,977
NOW SCOOCH ASIDE.
283
00:14:20,901 --> 00:14:23,241
WE'VE BEEN A LOT
OF THINGS OVER THE YEARS...
284
00:14:24,244 --> 00:14:26,294
FRIENDS,
BOYFRIEND AND GIRLFRIEND,
285
00:14:26,286 --> 00:14:27,986
EX-BOYFRIEND
AND EX-GIRLFRIEND,
286
00:14:27,988 --> 00:14:29,988
-FRIENDS AGAIN--
-I THINK I GET IT.
287
00:14:31,121 --> 00:14:34,291
BUT... WE'VE ALWAYS
BEEN GREAT PARTNERS.
288
00:14:35,295 --> 00:14:37,415
-(chuckles)
-...AND I'M SO LUCKY
TO HAVE YOU.
289
00:14:38,548 --> 00:14:41,338
THANKS, ALLY.
I FEEL THE SAME WAY.
290
00:14:44,884 --> 00:14:47,224
I'M GONNA GO PACK UP THE STUFF
FOR OUR PRESENTATION.
291
00:14:47,217 --> 00:14:49,217
-I'LL SEE YOU IN THE MORNING.
-OKAY. BYE.
292
00:14:54,224 --> 00:14:56,734
(high-pitched)
HOW AM I GONNA
MAKE IT UP TO YOU, AUSTIN?
293
00:14:56,726 --> 00:14:58,516
(gruffly)
BOUNCE HOUSE?
294
00:14:58,518 --> 00:15:00,648
(high-pitched)
I HAVE AN IDEA.
295
00:15:00,650 --> 00:15:02,280
I'M GONNA
STAY UP ALL NIGHT
296
00:15:02,282 --> 00:15:04,862
AND MAKE
YOUR DREAM WEDDING CAKE.
297
00:15:04,864 --> 00:15:06,164
(gruffly)
WELL, THANK YOU. MWAH!
298
00:15:06,156 --> 00:15:07,696
(high-pitched giggle)
OH, AUSTIN, STOP IT.
299
00:15:07,697 --> 00:15:09,867
(mimics kiss)
OH, STOP IT, STOP IT.
300
00:15:09,869 --> 00:15:12,369
OH, LET'S DANCE.
301
00:15:12,372 --> 00:15:15,172
(vocalizes music)
302
00:15:16,746 --> 00:15:19,416
I CAME BACK
TO GET MY SWEATER.
303
00:15:19,419 --> 00:15:20,839
I'LL JUST GO
GET A NEW ONE.
304
00:15:25,345 --> 00:15:27,345
THIS ONE IS SMOLDER NINE.
305
00:15:27,347 --> 00:15:28,927
SIMILAR TO SMOLDER SEVEN,
306
00:15:28,928 --> 00:15:31,468
BUT A LITTLE MORE SMOLDERY.
307
00:15:32,892 --> 00:15:34,982
I STILL LIKE
SMOLDER THREE.
308
00:15:34,975 --> 00:15:36,555
YOU KNOW,
THAT'S MY FAVORITE, TOO.
309
00:15:36,556 --> 00:15:38,436
WE HAVE
SO MUCH IN COMMON.
310
00:15:43,233 --> 00:15:45,873
TRISH, CAN YOU GIVE
THIS LETTER TO DEZ?
311
00:15:45,865 --> 00:15:46,985
MM-HMM.
312
00:15:48,948 --> 00:15:51,068
-IT'S BLANK.
-EXACTLY.
313
00:15:51,071 --> 00:15:54,031
-I HAVE NOTHING TO SAY TO HIM.
-OKAY, CARRIE,
314
00:15:54,034 --> 00:15:57,674
I KNOW YOU'RE MAD,
BUT DEZ IS JUST HEARTBROKEN
BECAUSE YOU DUMPED HIM.
315
00:15:57,667 --> 00:15:59,207
-I DUMPED HIM?
-UH-HUH.
316
00:15:59,209 --> 00:16:02,339
-HE DUMPED ME.
-WHAT ARE YOU TALKING ABOUT?
317
00:16:02,342 --> 00:16:06,052
WE WERE AT DINNER,
CELEBRATING OUR HALF-BIRTHDAY--
318
00:16:06,046 --> 00:16:07,426
WE HAVE THE SAME
HALF-BIRTHDAY,
319
00:16:07,427 --> 00:16:09,217
BUT NOT THE SAME
ACTUAL BIRTHDAY.
320
00:16:09,219 --> 00:16:11,889
EVERYTHING WAS GREAT,
321
00:16:11,891 --> 00:16:13,971
UNTIL DEZ BROKE UP WITH ME.
322
00:16:13,973 --> 00:16:17,233
WAIT. OKAY, CARRIE,
WALK ME THROUGH EXACTLY
WHAT HAPPENED.
323
00:16:18,648 --> 00:16:22,058
WE FINISHED EATING,
AND WHEN THE WAITER
CAME TO TAKE OUR PLATE,
324
00:16:22,062 --> 00:16:25,412
OUT OF NOWHERE,
DEZ SAID, "WE'RE DONE."
325
00:16:26,316 --> 00:16:29,236
(sighs)
YOU HAVE GOT
TO BE KIDDING ME.
326
00:16:30,870 --> 00:16:34,070
CARRIE, WHEN DEZ SAID,
"WE'RE DONE,"
327
00:16:34,074 --> 00:16:37,214
HE WAS JUST TELLING
THE WAITER YOU WERE
DONE WITH YOUR MEAL.
328
00:16:37,207 --> 00:16:39,497
-OH!
-YEAH.
329
00:16:40,500 --> 00:16:43,380
WAIT. OH!
330
00:16:43,383 --> 00:16:46,393
-WAIT.
-SO?
331
00:16:46,386 --> 00:16:48,796
AT DINNER THAT NIGHT YOU SAID,
"I DON'T WANNA DATE YOU."
332
00:16:48,798 --> 00:16:51,548
I SAID,
"I DON'T WANT A DATE. EWW."
333
00:16:51,551 --> 00:16:53,841
YOU KNOW I DON'T LIKE
FIGS, PRUNES, OR DATES.
334
00:16:54,844 --> 00:16:56,444
WELL, IF I DIDN'T
BREAK UP WITH YOU
335
00:16:56,436 --> 00:16:59,016
AND YOU DIDN'T BREAK UP
WITH ME, YOU KNOW WHAT
THAT MEANS, DON'T YOU?
336
00:17:07,737 --> 00:17:10,277
IT MEANS
YOU NEVER BROKE UP.
337
00:17:10,280 --> 00:17:12,950
-YOU'RE STILL A COUPLE!
-Both: YAY!
338
00:17:28,628 --> 00:17:31,378
-(sighs)
-(door opens)
339
00:17:33,223 --> 00:17:36,773
WOW. YOU REALLY
WENT ALL OUT!
340
00:17:36,766 --> 00:17:39,596
(laughs)
I STAYED UP
ALL NIGHT MAKING THIS.
341
00:17:39,599 --> 00:17:42,179
IT'S AUSTIN'S
FAVORITE FLAVOR--
WHITE CHOCOLATE.
342
00:17:42,182 --> 00:17:43,812
I WANTED TO DO
SOMETHING SPECIAL FOR HIM
343
00:17:43,813 --> 00:17:45,823
TO LET HIM KNOW THAT HE CAN
ALWAYS COUNT ON ME.
344
00:17:45,815 --> 00:17:47,645
NOW I HAVE 10 MINUTES
TO GET TO SCHOOL.
345
00:17:47,647 --> 00:17:49,647
-WELL, LET ME SEE
HOW IT TASTES.
-HEY!
346
00:17:49,649 --> 00:17:52,569
NO ONE TOUCHES
THAT FROSTING.
347
00:17:53,573 --> 00:17:56,963
-ALL SIX LAYERS
HAVE TO BE PERFECT.
-OKAY.
348
00:17:58,288 --> 00:17:59,658
OKAY.
349
00:18:06,836 --> 00:18:10,166
-ALL FIVE LAYERS
HAVE TO BE PERFECT.
-OKAY.
350
00:18:10,170 --> 00:18:12,420
-COME ON.
-OKAY.
351
00:18:12,422 --> 00:18:15,012
-WE GOTTA GO, WE GOTTA GO.
-NICE AND EASY.
352
00:18:15,014 --> 00:18:16,774
-OKAY.
-NICE AND EASY, ALLY.
353
00:18:16,766 --> 00:18:19,136
-YEAH, BUT WE GOTTA HURRY!
-Both: OH!
354
00:18:24,434 --> 00:18:27,284
YOU KNOW, FOUR LAYERS
SHOULD BE PLENTY.
355
00:18:33,032 --> 00:18:34,572
I'M SO PROUD OF YOU.
356
00:18:34,574 --> 00:18:37,504
I NEVER THOUGHT
I'D SEE THE DAY WHEN
I GIVE MY FAVORITE BOY AWAY.
357
00:18:37,497 --> 00:18:40,657
AUSTIN, WE'RE WAITING FOR YOU
TO GIVE YOUR REPORT.
358
00:18:40,660 --> 00:18:43,950
-WHERE'S ALLY?
-JUST GIVE US A MINUTE, LADY.
THIS IS OUR SPECIAL DAY.
359
00:18:46,166 --> 00:18:50,046
(sighs)
OH! I MADE IT
DOWN THE STAIRS.
360
00:18:50,049 --> 00:18:53,799
-(laughs)
THAT WAS THE HARDEST PART.
-HE LOST AN ARM.
361
00:18:55,345 --> 00:18:57,055
-IT'S FINE, WHATEVER.
JUST PUT HIM ON.
-OKAY.
362
00:18:57,056 --> 00:18:58,386
-ALL RIGHT, LET'S GO.
-OH!
363
00:18:58,388 --> 00:19:00,518
-OOH!
-OH!
364
00:19:01,851 --> 00:19:04,561
-TRISH!
-SORRY.
365
00:19:04,564 --> 00:19:07,074
BUT WHO REALLY NEEDS
MORE THAN THREE LAYERS?
366
00:19:07,066 --> 00:19:08,936
(grunting)
367
00:19:10,530 --> 00:19:12,230
WHAT ARE YOU
DOING HERE AGAIN?
368
00:19:12,232 --> 00:19:14,272
I TOLD YOU,
YOU'RE NOT IN MY CLASS.
369
00:19:14,274 --> 00:19:16,954
DID YOU REALLY THINK
I WAS GOING TO MISS
MY BEST FRIEND'S WEDDING?
370
00:19:16,946 --> 00:19:19,616
IT'S NOT A WEDDING.
IT'S A BUDGET PRESENTATION.
371
00:19:19,619 --> 00:19:21,329
OH.
372
00:19:21,331 --> 00:19:23,121
THEN WHAT ARE
YOU DOING HERE?
373
00:19:23,122 --> 00:19:25,672
I'M THE TEACHER.
374
00:19:25,665 --> 00:19:27,585
WHERE IS ALLY?
375
00:19:29,048 --> 00:19:31,208
-(sighs)
-MAYBE SHE GOT
COLD FEET, BUDDY.
376
00:19:34,844 --> 00:19:37,014
-THAT'S ALL RIGHT.
WE GOT IT.
-WE GOT IT.
377
00:19:37,006 --> 00:19:38,296
-WE GOTTA HURRY.
-OKAY, HERE WE GO.
378
00:19:38,298 --> 00:19:39,558
-READY?
-OKAY.
379
00:19:39,559 --> 00:19:42,259
-STEP.
-OKAY. OH! OKAY. OKAY.
380
00:19:42,262 --> 00:19:44,102
-WE GOT IT. WE GOT IT.
-OKAY. HEY, WE'RE HERE.
381
00:19:44,103 --> 00:19:45,313
-WE'RE GOOD.
-WE GOT IT.
382
00:19:45,305 --> 00:19:47,305
-LOOK OUT!
-OH!
383
00:19:47,307 --> 00:19:49,307
OH, COME ON!
384
00:19:52,652 --> 00:19:56,372
-AUSTIN,
WE CAN'T WAIT ANY LONGER.
-I ASSURE YOU, SHE'S COMING.
385
00:19:56,366 --> 00:19:57,906
I'VE HEARD THAT BEFORE.
386
00:19:57,907 --> 00:20:00,237
"JUST RUNNING
TO THE STORE," HE SAID.
387
00:20:00,240 --> 00:20:02,370
(angrily)
AND I NEVER
SAW PHILIP AGAIN.
388
00:20:04,914 --> 00:20:07,004
MOVE IT! OUT OF THE WAY!
389
00:20:06,996 --> 00:20:08,326
CAKE COMING THROUGH!
390
00:20:08,328 --> 00:20:10,418
ALMOST THERE.
391
00:20:10,420 --> 00:20:12,630
DON'T WORRY, BUDDY.
I'LL GO FIND ALLY.
392
00:20:14,674 --> 00:20:15,894
-(thuds)
-(Ally gasps)
393
00:20:24,604 --> 00:20:26,024
FOUND HER!
394
00:20:26,015 --> 00:20:28,805
OH. OH. OKAY.
395
00:20:30,109 --> 00:20:32,229
-ALLY, YOU MADE IT!
-(panting) I'M HERE!
396
00:20:32,231 --> 00:20:34,941
AND... I MADE CAKE.
397
00:20:35,945 --> 00:20:38,315
IT'S WHITE
BUTTERCREAM CHOC--
398
00:20:38,318 --> 00:20:39,488
OKAY, WHATEVER.
IT'S CAKE.
399
00:20:39,489 --> 00:20:42,659
I SWEAR,
IT WAS SIX LAYERS,
400
00:20:42,662 --> 00:20:45,422
HAD EVERYTHING YOU WANTED
AND WAS PERFECT.
401
00:20:45,415 --> 00:20:47,665
IT'S TRUE.
IF YOU REALLY WANT TO SEE IT,
402
00:20:47,667 --> 00:20:50,247
THERE'S A LAYER IN THE QUAD...
AND THE MALL...
403
00:20:50,249 --> 00:20:53,249
AND THE MUSIC FACTORY.
REALLY, IT'S EVERYWHERE.
404
00:20:54,334 --> 00:20:56,844
(laughs)
I'M JUST HAPPY YOU'RE HERE.
405
00:20:56,836 --> 00:20:58,636
AND I CAN'T BELIEVE
YOU MADE OUR CAKE.
406
00:20:59,639 --> 00:21:01,049
WE MIGHT NOT
BE ABLE TO EAT IT,
407
00:21:01,050 --> 00:21:02,550
BUT THERE'S
STILL ENOUGH TO DO THIS.
408
00:21:02,552 --> 00:21:04,932
-BOOP!
-(both laugh)
409
00:21:06,225 --> 00:21:09,015
THAT WOULD'VE BEEN
A LOT CUTER IF YOU WEREN'T
ALREADY COVERED IN CAKE.
410
00:21:09,018 --> 00:21:11,768
OH? LIKE THIS?
411
00:21:11,771 --> 00:21:13,851
(laughs)
412
00:21:19,198 --> 00:21:21,778
THIS IS SWEET AND ALL,
BUT CAN YOU PLEASE START
YOUR PRESENTATION?
413
00:21:21,781 --> 00:21:23,741
SHH! YOU'RE RUINING
THE MOMENT!
414
00:21:23,743 --> 00:21:25,873
OH, JUST KISS HER ALREADY.
415
00:21:33,503 --> 00:21:35,803
IS THAT PORK FRIED RICE?
416
00:21:35,795 --> 00:21:38,215
YEAH, THAT WAS
ALL I COULD GET
ON SHORT NOTICE.
417
00:21:43,973 --> 00:21:46,603
(dramatic music playing)
418
00:22:12,251 --> 00:22:14,081
PERFECT!
419
00:22:14,083 --> 00:22:15,593
I WOULD CLAP,
420
00:22:15,585 --> 00:22:17,585
BUT I'M NOT WEARING
MY CLAPPING GLOVES.
421
00:22:18,718 --> 00:22:19,958
SERIOUSLY?
422
00:22:19,959 --> 00:22:21,719
ARE YOU TRYING TO SELL PERFUME
423
00:22:21,721 --> 00:22:22,961
OR GIVE CHILDREN NIGHTMARES?
424
00:22:27,387 --> 00:22:29,267
(both whisper) EMU.
425
00:22:29,268 --> 00:22:30,848
(spraying)
31616
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