Original subtitles

HEY, DEZ.

WHY DO YOU HAVE ALL YOUR STUFF?

I HAD TO MOVE OUT OF MY HOUSE FOR A COUPLE OF DAYS,

'CAUSE ONE OF MY DAD'S INVENTIONS WENT HAYWIRE.

I ONLY TOOK THE STUFF I REALLY NEED.

YOU REALLY NEED A PANINI PRESS?

YES, ALLY. YES, I DO.

MY FAMILY'S IN A MOTEL, BUT I'M GONNA CRASH IN THE PRACTICE ROOM.

I DON'T MIND YOU STAYING HERE, DEZ,

BUT IT WOULD HAVE BEEN NICE IF YOU'D ASKED FIRST.

OH, I ASKED. MY PARENTS ARE TOTALLY COOL WITH IT.

I'M NOT RUDE, ALLY.

SO, WHAT'D YOUR DAD INVENT THIS TIME?

A ROBOT GUARD DOG.

UNFORTUNATELY IT'S STUCK ON "ATTACK" MODE.

CHECK THIS OUT.

WE HAVE TO WAIT FOR ITS BATTERIES TO DIE

BEFORE WE CAN EVEN GET BACK IN THE HOUSE. ( exhales sharply )

GUESS WHO GOT A JOB AT F.M. 109.

WHAT ARE YOU, THE NIGHTTIME JANITOR?

NO.

I'M HOSTING THE LOVE SONG DEDICATION SHOW.

THEY HIRED ME FOR MY WARM, GENTLE PERSONALITY.

THAT'S MY FAVORITE SHOW.

ALL THOSE COUPLES SENDING LOVE SONGS TO EACH OTHER,

IT'S SO ROMANTIC.

OOH, BET MY SISTER PHONES A LOT.

SHE GOT A NEW BOYFRIEND, AND SHE CANNOT STOP TALKING ABOUT HIM.

OOH, IS HE GONNA BE AT HER BIRTHDAY PARTY?

YEAH, WE'LL ALL MEET HIM FOR THE FIRST TIME.

SHE SAID I CAN'T BE A WEIRDO.

WHEN HAVE I EVER BEEN A "WEIRDO"? ( scoffs )

MARSHMALLOW-SALMON PANINI?

- GROSS! - OF COURSE!

ANYWAY... I'M HOSTING A LIVE BROADCAST

AT THE MALL LATER.

WE'RE HAVING A CONTEST TO GIVE AWAY A PINK ELECTRIC SCOOTER.

DEZ, YOU SHOULD ENTER. YOU CAN GIVE THE SCOOTER TO DIDI FOR HER BIRTHDAY.

THAT'S PERFECT! I'LL LOOK LIKE I CARE

WITHOUT EVEN SPENDING A DIME.

SO WHAT'S THE CONTEST?

YOU HAVE TO RECITE POETRY WHILE STICKING YOUR FEET

IN A TUB FULL OF COCKROACHES.

- EWW, THAT'S AWFUL! - I KNOW.

( shuddering ) POETRY...

GROSS.

( theme music playing )

♪ WHEN THE CROWD WANTS MORE ♪

♪ I BRING ON THE THUNDER ♪

♪ 'CAUSE YOU'VE GOT MY BACK ♪

♪ AND I'M NOT GOING UNDER ♪

♪ YOU'RE MY POINT, YOU'RE MY GUARD ♪

♪ YOU'RE THE PERFECT CHORD ♪

♪ AND I SEE OUR NAMES TOGETHER ON EVERY BILLBOARD ♪

♪ WE'RE HEADED FOR THE TOP, WE'VE GOT IT ON LOCK ♪

♪ WE'LL MAKE 'EM SAY "HEY!" ♪

♪ AND WE'LL KEEP ROCKIN' ♪

♪ OH, THERE'S NO WAY I COULD MAKE IT WITHOUT YA ♪

♪ DO IT WITHOUT YA, BE HERE WITHOUT YA ♪

♪ IT'S NO FUN WHEN YOU'RE DOING IT SOLO ♪

♪ WITH YOU IT'S LIKE, "WHOA," YEAH, AND I KNOW ♪

♪ I OWN THIS DREAM ♪

♪ 'CAUSE I GOT YOU WITH ME ♪

♪ THERE'S NO WAY I COULD MAKE IT WITHOUT YA ♪

♪ DO IT WITHOUT YA, BE HERE WITHOUT YA. ♪

AND WE'RE BACK ON F.M. 109.

THAT LAST SONG WENT OUT FROM AARON TO AMELIA.

HE SAYS HE'S GONNA KEEP

REQUESTING THAT SONG EVERY DAY

UNTIL YOU CALL HIM BACK. ( chuckles )

PLEASE CALL HIM BACK.

( angrily ) I HATE THAT SONG.

AND NOW TIME FOR OUR CONTEST.

( dance music playing )

IS THERE ANYONE ELSE BESIDES DEZ

WHO'S BRAVE ENOUGH TO STICK THEIR BARE FEET

IN THIS TUB OF COCKROACHES?

NO ONE? YES! I WIN THE SCOOTER.

- WHOO! - NOT SO FAST, RED.

( western duel music plays )

WHAT ARE YOU DOING HERE, CHUCK?

I'M HERE TO WIN THAT SCOOTER.

YOU MIND HOLDING THESE, LITTLE LADY?

ACTUALLY, I DO MIND-- OKAY.

THE RULES ARE SIMPLE--

WHOEVER CAN STAND IN THIS TUB OF COCKROACHES THE LONGEST

WHILE RECITING POETRY WINS.

THAT'S GONNA BE ME, CHUCK.

I CAN STAND IN COCKROACHES SO LONG,

BIRDS ARE GONNA THINK I'M A TREE, AND BUILD NESTS IN MY HAIR.

OH, YEAH?

I CAN STAND IN COCKROACHES SO LONG,

I'M GONNA GROW A BEARD DOWN TO MY ANKLES.

PEOPLE ARE GONNA CALL ME...

RIP VAN CHUCKLE.

OH, YEAH?

GET IN THE DARN TUB AND SAY SOME POEMS!

I LOVE POETRY.

I HOPE THEY DO SHAKESPEARE SONNETS.

♪ TWINKLE TWINKLE, LITTLE STAR... ♪

♪ MARY HAD A LITTLE LAMB... ♪

♪ ...HOW I WONDER WHAT YOU ARE... ♪

♪ ...ITS FLEECE WAS WHITE AS SNOW... ♪

( vocalizes )

- YOU'RE DOING GREAT, DEZ! - ( crunching )

DON'T THINK OF ALL THE DISGUSTING ROACHES

CRUNCHING BETWEEN YOUR TOES.

I'LL BE OKAY AS LONG AS THEY DON'T--

CLIMB UP MY LEG!

THEY'RE CLIMBING UP MY LEG!

( shrieking )

I BEAT YOU AGAIN, RED.

WELL, THAT DEPENDS ON HOW YOU LOOK AT IT.

WELL, I STOOD IN COCKROACHES LONGER THAN YOU.

I WON THE SCOOTER.

THAT'S REALLY THE ONLY WAY TO LOOK AT IT.

( groans )

I CAN'T BELIEVE I LOST TO CHUCK AGAIN.

OH, DON'T FEEL BAD, HONEY.

CHUCK'S JUST BETTER THAN YOU AT MOST THINGS.

- THANKS, MOM. - MM-HMM.

( voice breaking ) YOU ALWAYS KNOW WHAT TO SAY.

HEY, GUYS, GLAD YOU COULD MAKE IT.

ARE YOU KIDDING? I LOVE HANGING OUT WITH YOU GUYS.

DID YOU BRING ANY INVENTIONS?

YOU KNOW IT!

( both, high-pitched ) WHAT UP?!

IT'S GREAT TO SEE YOU AGAIN, MR. AND MRS.--

( shrieking ) ALLY, TRISH!

YOU LOOK AMAZING!

( chuckles ) HEY, DIDI.

HAPPY BIRTHDAY.

I CAN'T WAIT FOR YOU GIRLS TO MEET MY BOYFRIEND.

AUSTIN, LET ME ASK YOU SOMETHING.

HOW MANY TIMES HAVE YOU BEEN SITTING AROUND THE TABLE,

YOU ASK SOMEONE TO PASS YOU THE POTATOES--

IT TAKES FOREVER, RIGHT?

NOT REALLY.

EXACTLY!

THAT'S WHY I INVENTED...

THE POTATO-PULT!

THIS WILL REVOLUTIONIZE THE WAY THE WORLD PASSES POTATOES.

COOL!

I'LL GRAB A PLATE.

CAN SOMEONE PASS THE POTATOES?

COMING RIGHT DOWN.

DAD, I DON'T WANT YOU USING YOUR GADGETS WHEN MY BOYFRIEND GETS HERE.

IF YOU EMBARRASS ME, MY LIFE WILL BE RUINED FOREVER.

HONEY, I KNOW YOU'RE NERVOUS

BECAUSE WE'RE MEETING YOUR BOYFRIEND FOR THE FIRST TIME,

BUT YOU DON'T HAVE ANYTHING TO WORRY ABOUT.

YEAH, WHAT'S THE WORST THAT CAN HAPPEN?

YOUR PARENTS MAKE A BAD IMPRESSION,

HE DUMPS YOU AND YOU LOSE

YOUR SOUL MATE... FOREVER.

I JUST REALLY WANT YOU GUYS TO LIKE HIM.

DIDI, RELAX. YOU'RE MY SISTER.

I'M GONNA LIKE WHOEVER YOU LIKE.

( horn honking )

HELLO, DARLIN'.

MY BOYFRIEND'S HERE!

CHUCK'S YOUR NEW BOYFRIEND?!

DEZ!

DEZ. DEZ.

- ( grunts ) - ARE YOU OKAY?

( exhales ) OH, MAN.

I JUST HAD A TERRIBLE NIGHTMARE.

MY SISTER WAS DATING MY WORST ENEMY.

THAT WASN'T A NIGHTMARE, RED.

( shrieks )

DIDI, HOW LONG HAVE YOU

BEEN DATING CHUCK McCOY?

WE STARTED HANGING OUT OVER THE SUMMER,

AND WE'VE BEEN VIDEO-CHATTING EVER SINCE.

DIDI, YOU KNOW HOW WE FEEL ABOUT THE McCOY FAMILY...

AND VIDEO-CHATTING.

DAD, CHUCK'S THE NICEST, SMARTEST, MOST HANDSOME BOY IN THE WORLD.

IS SHE TALKING ABOUT THAT CHUCK?

SIR, I KNOW THERE'S BAD BLOOD BETWEEN OUR FAMILIES,

BUT I LIKE YOUR DAUGHTER ALMOST AS MUCH AS I LIKE MY BOOTS.

AND I REALLY LIKE MY BOOTS.

OKAY, DEZ, I KNOW WHY YOU AND CHUCK DON'T GET ALONG,

- BUT WHY DON'T YOUR FAMILIES? - ( scoffs )

OUR FAMILIES HAVE HATED EACH OTHER AS FAR BACK AS ANYONE CAN REMEMBER.

IT'S BEEN GOING ON SINCE THE MIDDLE AGES.

WELL, I THINK IT'S ROMANTIC DIDI AND CHUCK ARE GOING OUT.

IT'S LIKE ROMEO AND JULIET.

YOU KNOW HOW THAT ENDED, RIGHT?

NOT GOOD.

WELL, DIDI IS MY JULIET.

"THE BRIGHTNESS OF HER CHEEK WOULD SHAME THE STARS,

AS DAYLIGHT DOTH A LAMP."

Girls: AWW...

Dez and Austin: EWW.

I THINK YOU SHOULD GIVE CHUCK A CHANCE.

LOVE IS THE STRONGEST THING IN NATURE.

ACTUALLY, A HIPPO'S THE STRONGEST THING IN NATURE.

YOU KNOW WHAT I MEAN.

AND YOU'RE WRONG. ( chuckles lightly )

IT'S A RHINOCEROS.

I AGREE WITH ALLY.

ABOUT GIVING CHUCK A CHANCE OR THE RHINOCEROS?

THE CHUCK THING.

PLEASE, SIR, I STOOD ANKLE-DEEP IN COCKROACHES

FOR YOUR DAUGHTER.

WHAT ELSE CAN YOU CALL THAT BESIDES LOVE?

STUPID, DISGUSTING,

UNSANITARY...

SHOULD I GO ON?

DON'T LISTEN TO CHUCK, MOM.

YOU CAN'T TRUST HIM.

I'M WITH DEZ.

HE'S JUST MAD 'CAUSE I ALWAYS BEAT HIM AT STUFF.

UH, DID YOU FORGET THAT I BEAT YOU AT THE CHILI COOK-OFF

AND THE SHORT STORY CONTEST?

I BELIEVE THAT'S 27 FOR YOU

AND TWO A-FOR ME.

( both, high-pitched ) WHAT UP?!

DAD, DON'T YOU WANT ME TO BE HAPPY?

I DO. IT'S JUST THAT HIS LAST NAME IS McCOY

AND OUR LAST NAME IS--

DAD'S RIGHT!

OUR FAMILIES HAVE BEEN FIGHTING SINCE THE MIDDLE AGES

AND WE'LL STILL BE FIGHTING WHEN THE ZOMBIE APOCALYPSE COMES.

I DON'T THINK SO.

ONLY TWO THINGS ARE GONNA SURVIVE THE ZOMBIE APOCALYPSE.

ME AND MY LOVE FOR DIDI.

OH-HO-HO! I'M DEFINITELY SURVIVING.

I NEVER LEAVE HOME WITHOUT MY ZOMBIE SURVIVAL KIT.

EXCEPT FOR TODAY.

I HAD TO BRING THE CAKE, AND I COULDN'T CARRY TWO THINGS AT ONCE.

WELCOME TO THE FAMILY, SON.

WE LOVE HANGING OUT WITH YOU SO MUCH MORE THAN DEZ.

WHO'S DEZ?

( all laughing )

WHO WANTS ANOTHER PANINI?

OOH!

( all cackling )

NO-O-O-O!

DEZ, ARE YOU OKAY?

UH, DIDN'T YOU HEAR ME?

N-O-O-O!

I HAVE TO BREAK UP CHUCK AND DIDI BEFORE IT'S TOO LATE.

HE WAS USING MY PANINI PRESS.

- HOW DARE HE. - WHAT?

WHO CARES?

YOU CARE MORE ABOUT THIS FEUD

THAN YOUR SISTER'S FEELINGS?

( Austin sighs )

ALLY'S RIGHT.

WHATEVER YOU NEED, BUDDY, I'LL HELP YOU BREAK THEM UP.

THAT'S NOT WHAT I MEANT.

WHOSE SIDE ARE YOU ON, ALLY?

- I'M ON THE SIDE OF LOVE. - AND I'M ON THE SIDE OF DEZ.

AND I'M ON THE SIDE OF ANYONE WHO PAYS ME 20 BUCKS.

THANKS, TRISH.

YOU AND AUSTIN WILL HELP ME BREAK UP CHUCK AND MY SISTER.

I STILL THINK THIS WHOLE FEUD IS CRAZY.

HAVEN'T WE LEARNED ANYTHING FROM ROMEO AND JULIET?

"THESE VIOLENT DELIGHTS HAVE VIOLENT ENDS!"

( with English accent ) "A PLAGUE ON BOTH YOUR HOUSES!"

( normal voice ) WHY DO I KNOW THAT?!

YES!

I JUST TALKED TO TRISH. WE'RE ALL SET.

THANKS, BUDDY.

WHAT ARE YOU TWO UP TO?

- NOTHING. - BREAKING UP CHUCK AND DIDI.

( both giggling )

CHUCK.

RED.

I WAS JUST SHOWING DIDI ALL THE PICTURES I HAVE OF HER IN MY LOCKER.

I LOVE THIS LITTLE GAL.

SURE YOU DO.

HEY, LET'S LISTEN TO THE RADIO.

- ( pop music playing ) - This is DJ Trish,

bringing you love in the afternoon.

Our first request is Austin Moon's

"I Think About You."

This goes out from Chuck McCoy to the girl of his dreams...

OH, THAT'S SO SWEET.

- ...Sally. - WHAT?!

He says he knows that things are complicated,

but as soon as you-know-who is out of the picture--

( whispering ) Didi--

you two can be together.

DEZ WAS RIGHT.

I SHOULDN'T HAVE TRUSTED A McCOY.

WE'RE FINISHED!

DIDI, WAIT!

( both laughing )

( both, high-pitched ) WHAT UP?!

I CAN'T BELIEVE YOU GUYS.

- YOU ALL SET ME UP! - MAYBE.

BUT YOU'LL NEVER BE WITH MY SISTER AGAIN.

YOU'RE GONNA PAY FOR THIS, RED.

YOU TOO, BLONDIE.

AND YOU TOO...

WHATEVER-COLOR-YOUR-HAIR-IS.

I DIDN'T HAVE ANYTHING TO DO WITH IT!

AND IT'S CHESTNUT WITH AMBER HIGHLIGHTS.

( piano playing slow melody )

OW. OW. OW.

LOOK WHAT CHUCK DID TO ME!

HE PUT A "PINCH ME" SIGN ON MY SHIRT.

EVERYBODY'S BEEN PINCHING ME ALL DAY.

WHY DON'T YOU JUST TAKE IT OFF?

'CAUSE IT'S MY FAVORITE SHIRT.

NOT THE SHIRT, THE SIGN.

OH.

( light chuckle )

YOU SHOULD APOLOGIZE TO CHUCK AND END YOUR FEUD.

( sighs ) ALLY, SOMETIMES PEOPLE JUST HAVE TO

STAND UP FOR WHAT THEY BELIEVE IN.

AND YOU THINK A RIDICULOUS OLD FEUD IS MORE IMPORTANT

THAN TWO TEENAGERS WHO WANNA BE TOGETHER?

WHEN YOU PUT IT LIKE THAT...

MAYBE?

YOU'RE JUST WORRIED CHUCK'S GONNA GET BACK AT YOU TOO.

THIS ISN'T ABOUT ME. IT'S ABOUT DIDI.

( keys clacking )

- ( drawer opens ) - ( gasps )

OKAY, NOW IT'S ABOUT ME TOO.

WHAT IS THIS STUFF?!

MM. IT'S STRAWBERRY JAM.

HE'S SO DIABOLICAL!

DO YOU KNOW HOW MUCH THAT STUFF STAINS?

- ( sighs deeply ) - WELL, IF THAT'S HIS PRANK,

IT'S PRETTY LAME.

( playing off-key )

HUH. THIS KEY SOUNDS WEIRD.

AUSTIN! DON'T...

( continues screaming )

RELAX, DEZ. ( scoffs )

CHUCK DIDN'T DO ANYTHING TO THE PIANO.

I'VE BEEN HERE ALL AFTERNOON.

( chuckles lightly )

MAN... HE'S GOOD.

I SHOULD HAVE CHARGED YOU A LOT MORE THAN 20 BUCKS

TO HELP YOU BREAK UP CHUCK AND DIDI.

DEZ, YOU HAVE GOT TO END THIS FEUD BEFORE IT GETS OUT OF HAND.

HO-HO-HO, I'M NEVER ENDING THIS FEUD.

BESIDES, CHUCK'S NOT GONNA DO ANYTHING ELSE.

HE ALREADY GOT HIS REVENGE.

( western showdown music playing )

MAYBE HE DOES STILL HAVE A LITTLE REVENGE LEFT IN HIM.

WELL, LOOKY WHO SUDDENLY HAS SCHOOL SPIRIT.

( giggles )

I HAD TO BUY ALL NEW CLOTHES FROM THE SCHOOL STORE

BECAUSE OF YOU!

AND I ALWAYS HAD SCHOOL SPIRIT.

GO-O-O-O MANATEES!

BUT SERIOUSLY,

THE JELLY ATTACKS HAVE TO STOP!

I SUPPOSE I COULD DO SOME, UH...

PEANUT BUTTER ATTACKS TO EVEN IT OUT!

( gutturally ) DON'T YOU DARE.

LUCKY FOR YOU,

THIS IS MY EMERGENCY PEANUT BUTTER.

I'M PUTTING IT IN MY ZOMBIE SURVIVAL KIT.

THERE'S BEEN A LOT OF CHATTER ON THE INTERWEBS LATELY

ABOUT THE IMPENDING ZOMBIE APOCALYPSE.

OH, I'VE HEARD THE CHATTER.

THERE WILL BE A ZOMBIE APOCALYPSE ANY DAY NOW.

COULD BE TOMORROW, COULD BE THE NEXT DAY,

COULD BE THE DAY AFTER THAT, COULD BE THE DAY AFTER THAT.

- COULD BE THE DAY AFTER-- - ( whistles )

I GET IT.

IT'S COMING.

AND WHEN IT COMES,

I'M GONNA SURVIVE, BECAUSE I HAVE THE BEST ZOMBIE SURVIVAL KIT...

IN SOUTHEAST FLORIDA.

( laughing )

YOU CALL THAT A ZOMBIE SURVIVAL KIT?

THIS IS A ZOMBIE SURVIVAL KIT.

MINE'S GOT ZOMBIE REPELLENT, TWO-WAY RADIO,

NIGHT-VISION GOGGLES AND BEST OF ALL,

IT'S ZOMBIE-PROOF. NO ONE KNOWS THE COMBINATION

EXCEPT FOR ME.

( lock clicking )

ZERO-ZERO-ZERO-ZERO

IS THE BEST YOU COULD COME UP WITH?

( laughs ) TRUST ME.

ZOMBIES ARE THE LEAST OF YOUR WORRIES.

( giggles )

MY REVENGE IS JUST GETTING STARTED.

( giggling )

( hoots, continues laughing )

ALL WE HAVE TO DO IS STAY HERE UNTIL CHUCK GOES TO COLLEGE.

THEN WE'LL BE SAFE.

SO LIVING IN THE PRACTICE ROOM FOR THREE YEARS

IS EASIER THAN ENDING YOUR FEUD WITH CHUCK?

YES, ALLY. YES, IT IS.

NOW IF YOU'LL EXCUSE ME, I'M GOING TO USE THE BATHROOM.

( door closes )

HE KNOW THAT'S THE CLOSET, RIGHT?

YOU'VE GOTTA HELP US PUT AN END TO THIS FEUD.

IT'S GONE TOO FAR.

DEZ IS PREPARED TO SLEEP

IN THE PRACTICE ROOM AND EAT NOTHING BUT TUNA

FOR THREE YEARS.

SO THAT'S WHERE ALL THE TUNA FROM MY ZOMBIE SHELTER WENT.

YOU BELIEVE IN THAT DUMB ZOMBIE APOCALYPSE STUFF TOO?

UH, YEAH.

I AGREE WITH ALLY.

THIS FEUD HAS GONE ON LONG ENOUGH.

I MEAN, POOR DIDI'S BEEN CRYING FOR DAYS.

THE BEST WAY TO END A FEUD

IS TO GET TWO PEOPLE IN THE SAME ROOM TOGETHER

SO THEY CAN AIR OUT THEIR DIFFERENCES.

CHUCK AND DEZ HATE EACH OTHER.

THEY'LL NEVER GET IN A ROOM TOGETHER.

I THINK I HAVE A WAY. BUT I'LL NEED SOME HELP.

I'M IN!

- ME TOO! - COUNT ME IN.

FOR 20 BUCKS.

AUSTIN?

ALLY?

HELLO, RED.

( gasps )

BACK OFF, CHUCK.

I'M NOT AFRAID TO USE THIS FLUTE.

I'VE BEEN TAKING LESSONS FROM ALLY.

( plays cheery tune )

EASY THERE, PARTNER.

I DIDN'T COME TO GET REVENGE.

ALLY TEXTED ME ABOUT A PIE-BAKING CONTEST IN SONIC BOOM.

I'VE GOT ALL THIS LEFTOVER JAM AND NOTHING TO DO WITH IT.

IF THERE WAS A PIE-BAKING CONTEST,

I WOULD HAVE GOTTEN THE SAME TEXT.

ALLY KNOWS HOW MUCH I LOVE BAKING PIES.

CLEARLY I'VE BEEN LIED TO.

( alarm blaring )

WHAT'S GOING ON?

I DON'T KNOW.

THAT'S AN EMERGENCY SIREN.

LET'S CHECK THE RADIO.

Trish's voice: This is not a test. I repeat, this is not a test.

I've just gotten a report from the South Florida Naval Station

that a virus has leaked out.

It's turning people into-- gasp--

zombies!

DID SHE JUST SAY-- ?

Yes, you heard right. I just said--

gasp-- zombies!

I'M CALLING AUSTIN.

HE'LL KNOW WHAT TO DO.

( cellphone ringing )

( frightened ) DEZ?

I'M SO GLAD TO HEAR YOUR VOICE.

THERE'S NOT MUCH TIME TO TALK.

THE ZOMBIES ARE EVERYWHERE.

( scary voice ) MUST EAT BRAINS!

REALLY?

THAT'S THE BEST YOU CAN DO?

THE ZOMBIE APOCALYPSE IS ACTUALLY HAPPENING?

YES, AND IN CASE I DON'T SEE YOU AGAIN, I JUST HAVE ONE THING TO SAY...

LIFE'S TOO SHORT TO HOLD A GRUDGE.

IF YOU'RE FEUDING WITH ANYBODY, NOW'S THE TIME TO END IT.

I THINK THE ZOMBIES MAY HAVE ALREADY GOTTEN HIM.

( chuckles lightly )

HE'S TALKING GIBBERISH.

WHAT SHOULD WE DO?

Many callers are asking what to do.

You need to lock yourselves in a room.

Like a practice room with lots of water and tuna!

WE HAVE A PRACTICE ROOM WITH LOTS OF WATER AND TUNA.

It's only been three minutes, and already I'm feeling lightheaded.

Will there be enough air to survive?

Will the rescuers get here before the zombies?

If you're watching this... ( exhales )

...the answer's no.

( video camera beeps )

I'M WORRIED ABOUT DIDI.

I'M WORRIED ABOUT MY LUNGS.

WE'RE RUNNING OUT OF AIR IN HERE!

SNAP OUT OF IT, RED!

IT'S NO TIME TO PANIC!

YOU'RE RIGHT.

MUSIC ALWAYS CALMS ME DOWN.

LET'S LISTEN TO THE RADIO.

They're in the mall. Run for your lives!

FORGET THE RADIO.

( rumbling, loud crashing )

- THEY'RE HERE! - LOCK THE DOOR!

( moaning, scratching )

( scary voice ) ME LOVE BRAINS!

BLEHH!

It's been almost an hour.

And except for electricity, Internet connection,

working phones, three years' worth of water and tuna,

and the company of Chuck...

I am completely alone

and cut off from the outside world.

( video camera beeps )

WE HAVEN'T HEARD ANYTHING FOR A WHILE.

I SAY WE GO DOWNSTAIRS AND SEE IF THE ZOMBIES ARE GONE.

I GOT YOUR BACK.

THAT'S MIGHTY KIND OF YOU, RED.

BESIDES, EVERYONE KNOWS ZOMBIES CAN'T CHASE TWO PEOPLE AT ONCE.

I DON'T HAVE TO OUTRUN THEM.

I JUST HAVE TO OUTRUN YOU.

THAT WAS MY PLAN TOO.

( both laughing )

( whispering ) ALL CLEAR.

HIYAH!

( plays upbeat melody )

THE ZOMBIES WERE DEFINITELY HERE.

LOOK AT THIS PLACE.

( laughs )

I CAN'T BELIEVE HOW BRAVE YOU ARE, RED--

LAUGHING AT A TIME LIKE THIS.

( moaning )

CHUCK, LOOK!

ZOMBIE!

OH, NO! THAT'S MY DIDI!

THAT'S MY SISTER. I CAN'T BELIEVE SHE TURNED INTO A ZOMBIE.

I FEEL AWFUL.

IF I HAD BEEN WITH HER, THIS WOULDN'T HAVE HAPPENED!

IT'S ALL MY FAULT. I'M SORRY I BROKE YOU TWO UP.

I JUST WANT THIS FEUD TO END.

ME TOO, PARTNER.

IF WE DON'T MAKE IT OUT OF THIS,

I JUST WANT YOU TO KNOW, I'D BE PROUD IF YOU WERE MY SISTER'S BOYFRIEND.

I CAN'T DO THAT NOW. SHE'S A ZOMBIE.

BUT THANK YOU, RED.

I'M PROUD TO CALL YOU FRIEND.

( power whirs on )

( laughing )

- WE GOT YOU! - WHOO! YEAH!

- ( laughter ) - YEAH, WE HAD YOU BELIEVING IN--

GASP-- ZOMBIES!

YOU SHOULD HAVE SEEN YOUR FACE.

( gasps ) OH, NO! I'M SO SCARED,

INSTEAD OF SCAREDY-CATS, PEOPLE ARE GONNA CALL 'EM

CHUCKY-CATS.

( all laughing )

WAIT, THIS WAS ALL A HOAX?

WE WANTED YOU AND CHUCK TO END YOUR DUMB FEUD.

WE FIGURED IF WE GOT YOU SCARED ENOUGH, YOU'D WORK TOGETHER AND STOP FIGHTING.

AND IT WORKED.

- I WASN'T SCARED. - ME NEITHER.

THEN WHY ARE YOU STILL HOLDING HANDS?

DEZ, I PROMISE I'LL TAKE GOOD CARE OF HER.

I KNOW. BUT IF YOU WANT MY APPROVAL,

WE HAVE TO GO OVER THIS ONE MORE TIME.

( groans ) DO WE HAVE TO?

YES, I'M VERY PROTECTIVE.

NOW, CHUCK...

YOU TREAT HER RIGHT.

- GOT IT. - BE PATIENT.

SHE'S TEMPERAMENTAL.

I UNDERSTAND.

AND I WANT HER BACK AFTER DINNER.

MAN, YOU LOVE YOUR PANINI PRESS.

( exhales )

SHE'S LIKE A SISTER TO ME.

( quietly ) OKAY.